Third Wheel
Joined 13th Dec, 2018 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Third Wheel · 2.2k words · 239 19 · 13k views
- Wise Cracker · 3.5k words · 85 15 · 2.7k views
- Kulpa · 3k words · 312 29 · 11k views
- Wintermist · 19k words · 149 13 · 5.9k views
- Wintermist · 23k words · 438 59 · 24k views
- Third Wheel · 3.4k words · 93 48 · 6.8k views
- AcidPanic · 55k words · 118 13 · 5.2k views
- Wintermist · 15k words · 131 8 · 3.5k views
Featured In9
Clopfics11,552 stories ·15,817 members
Hypnosis and Mind Control1,613 stories ·3,852 members
My Little Fetish16,602 stories ·8,574 members
Spankfics516 stories ·336 members
Stories on Goodreads28,599 stories ·492 members
Mind Control1,607 stories ·1,113 members
- Cynders Hypnofics80 stories ·2 members
twidom352 stories ·166 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.182 seconds
Total duration
919 users online
1,790,018 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Is there a link to the art?
When discord tells celestia about this Luna will be lucky if exile to the moon is all she gets.
9453187
I can't link it directly since it's NSFW, just type derpibooru.org/ followed by the number in the description.
9453513
You might want to put a spoiler on that. Also, Discord's either behind it or fine with it.
Reminds me of Friendship is Mind control, especially with rainbows question
9453670
The big difference being that FiMC is a masterpiece and this is a garbage-quality rip-off. Though maybe Wintermist would enjoy it, so feel free to recommend it.
Maximum yes. Love the ending; makes me wish this was a longer series, since a lot of the other hypno-smut has slowed down lately.
9453746
Maybe...
It really depends on what I feel like working on. I've already got some other non-mind control stories I plan to write/am writing already, and I don't spend that much time on this account since it's not my main one. Although I do plan to start doing commissions at some point in the future, so if someone'll ask for that I'll probably write more of this.
In the meantime we can always go back and reread what Wintermist has blessed us with.
9453733
This is not garbage-quality (it's not FiMC, but that's not really an attainable standard to hold yourself to). This is really awesome and really hot and I really want to see more of this someday.
I'd really want to see Twilight and Luna toy some more with triggers and unawareness (and unawareness triggers); since Rainbow was in trance during the whole story and Twilight at the end those were more implied than actually part of the scenes, and I'd love to see some more of them. Maybe even a bit of Luna watching and influencing an unknowing Twilight as Twilight hypnotizes ponies.
9453733
You should give yourself more credit. This is awesome.
But I can't deny the part about FiMC being a masterpiece. Seriously, we're blessed to have Wintermist in the community.
9453877
9453856
Those are some really kind words. Though, being the one who wrote this story, I can absolutely guarantee that anything good there might have been in it was only there because it was ripped off from Wintermist's works. It's very unlikely I'll consider it that good unless Wintermist comes here and tells me otherwise, you'll forgive me if I don't trust the rest of the people reading this that much.
9453892
...well then.
*narrows eyes and goes to drag in Wintermist*
I think this is a unique spin on, especially with the Luna twist at the end.
FiMC is incredible, but this has it’s own gimmick going, and I really think it can work. Continuing it isn’t a bad idea at all.
And anyways, the only way one can improve is to keep working on it, so I encourage you to give this one the love it deserves.
9453936
9453513
For the love of
WintermistGod could you people use the spoiler functionality when talking about the ending? All it takes is pushing a button and it allows people to read the comments without having to worry about getting the ending ruined for them.9453976
Sincere Apologies. I was on mobile when I wrote this, so I legit forgot the spoiler function.
9453980
No problem.
Uh, wow, yeah. You bet your ass that anything said while under mind control isn't consensual.
9454304
Not necessarily, I've read stories where it's consensual. That's not the point though. The point is that Fimfiction's tagging system is rather lacking. The non-con tag is mostly intended for stuff like
outright rapeedit because I was a complete idiot: rape of the kicking and screaming variety, here it's used for something that, while definitely not done with the consent of the character, doesn't have the typical characteristics of something like that, with the character struggling against the act or expressing their displeasure towards it. The line you quoted is there to say that yes, what Twilight is doing isn't consensual, but this isn't the type of story where you see a victim cry or suffer, and it's intended as warning to those that would get offended if this didn't have that tag. Better safe than sorry, especially considering I wanted to make sure this got approved. But trust me, by the actual definition of that tag I could remove it from this story.9454341
What you're describing is rape, though; you're gravely misunderstanding the meaning of "non-consensual". Rape doesn't require struggle. This is akin to someone being drugged and ravaged in their sleep, that's still rape; no struggle involved. That you think it's a question whether drugged/hypnotized intercourse is rape is... kinda disturbing. It's one thing to write a rape fic knowing that it's a fetish that should stay in fiction, but when you talk like you don't understand that it's wrong, that raises the specter that you, or someone your thoughts influence, might end up doing it to a real person at some point.
In short, "non-consensual" means exactly what it says: Without consent. Without consent = rape. That is the definition of the term. There is no gray area, here.
9454412
I'm not saying that isn't rape. What I'm saying is that here on this site that's not what the tag is used for. Also, hypnosis in fiction is a tad different from someone being drunk or asleep. But as I said, the reason I put the tag there is because I agree that this counts as non-con, just not in the way people usually see it when associated with that tag (because it's only required when a story has a character explicitly go against what they're put through).
9453908 ~bamf I arrive!
...ooh. So there's some gorgeously sexy language here. I really love watching Twilight just going to town on Rainbow without any ethical concerns whatsoever, and I particularly enjoyed tormenting her with the toy; it shows there's enough of Rainbow's personality online to want what she isn't allowed to have, but not do it. I personally tend to anthro for sex scenes, but physical show-accuracy works here.
Wasn't expecting Luna, but that's another fun layer of deception, and it really does mean Twilight is completely uninhibited in what she does. I like how that recasts the Princess in the title to Luna, and Twilight as her plaything.
This was fun, and I'm glad you wrote it
9453877
9454446
9453908
...fine.
This is fun garbage!
No but seriously thank you for this, it's really hard for me to judge whether the sex I write is any good and it's great to hear that people think it is.
9454428
You said:
It certainly read like you were saying it wasn't rape.
It would be quite remarkable to me if the tag "non-con" wasn't used to tag stories that contain "non-con". And if that were somehow true (I'll need some evidence for that claim, by the way), that just means it's a problem to be fixed, not perpetuated.
Not from the standpoint of consent, it isn't. It sounds, again, like you're arguing that if you could actually hypnotize someone in real life, you'd be fine with raping them because in your mind it wouldn't be rape because they said they wanted it, regardless of the circumstances that caused them to say that. This is the exact line of reasoning used to justify drunk and drugged rape. If you get them sufficiently drugged that they don't know what they're saying, and then trick them into saying they want sex, then it's okay.
Uh-huh.
This communicates that you knew, prior to posting the story, that both moderators and other readers would consider it mis-tagged if you left the tag off (clearly contradicting your claim that the tag doesn't actually apply to this story based on site usage). It also implies that you think that people who understand that this story needs that tag are just being "offended" (a negative term that you wouldn't apply to yourself, indicating that you don't consider yourself part of the group that would apply the tag to this story).
To be clear, I have no problems with this story. What I have problems with is your displayed attitude regarding the definitions of consent, rape, accurate story tagging, and the severe backpedaling that you've been doing since that other person first called you out on it.
9454341
Dude. No. This is so bad that I'm not going to go off on you. Instead, I'll put this very simply.
"Non-consensual" doesn't exclusively mean "rape of the kicking and screaming variety." Consent simply means to comply or agree. To do something non-consensual means that you're doing something without express permission by a necessary second party.
The way it's used on this site is for, ugh, rape stories, sure, but that isn't the discussion here, is it? In this story, Twilight used mind control on Rainbow to make her do something without her consent. That in of itself is non-consensual, but it goes a step further by having sex with an unwitting Rainbow Dash. Ergo, it is rape.
What you're peddling is seriously awful here - by your logic, a man/woman who is sober and takes advantage of one who is drunk isn't rape. Nor is statutory rape a real thing. Because there is no kicking and screaming! Just the intentional manipulation of one who doesn't know better all for the sole purpose of sexual gratification.
Absolutely disgusting. I can't believe I had to explain this to someone who is probably older than me.
9454456
Okay, I'll admit I should have worded that differently, it's my fault. What I meant to say is that, and if you want evidence just look at Wintermist's profile, the non-con tag here on Fimfiction is typically there as an indication of the way the characters act, not of what actually happens. I put on this story because I believe it should apply to all content that is technically non-consensual (except con-non-con, but let's not open that can of worms). I put notes about it in the description to clarify, for the readers who see it and might think this story is one where the elements I pointed out are present, that it isn't like the type of story typically associated with that tag on this site. I personally believe this story would have been approved even without the tag, but I don't know all of the story approvers, and I have seen examples of stories that got left without it where discussions started in the comments about whether or not it should be there. Again, I should have been more careful with my words.
I would never, under any circumstance, have sex with someone without their explicit consent and frankly I find myself a little bothered by you saying that I would. Rape isn't justifiable, and it was never my intention to do so. What I meant to say when I talked about hypnosis in fiction being different is that the topic is much more complex. And I'm not saying anything about it is morally right, far from it, but when it comes to an hypnotised character it becomes very hard to define consent. Why? Because it's treated in fiction like a split in personality. Say there's a person with two different identities (again, the fictional version of the topic). If I have sex with one of them, and the other isn't okay with that, is it rape? In some cases, hypnosis in fiction is close to an outright murder from a certain point of view. Again, I don't think any of it is right.
What I'm saying is, if someone wanted to they could make an argument about how this isn't rape. And I think they'd be wrong, which is why I put the tag there, but I pointed out that as far as I've seen the usage of it on Fimfiction wouldn't require me to.
9454473
I worded that very poorly, and it's entirely my fault, I'll admit. I should not have said "outright rape". I absolutely agree that taking advantage of someone who is drunk or drugged is rape, and that this story probably falls under that category as well (depending on what's actually happening in Rainbow's mind). I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. You can look at my other comment for more details on my opinion on the issue.
Like man. How do you even know your fic is top tier shit? Do you like, Touch yourself to it to guarantee customer satisfaction?
9454456
9454473
9454504
There's a whole can of worms here.
1) "Kicking and screaming" rape is one of the worst things one human being can do to another.
2) Premeditated date-rape is right up there.
3) There are scenarios where non-consensual sex is morally acceptable - for example, if two people are both too drunk to consent, but manage to somehow enthusiastically fumble their way into sex, legally, depending on local laws, they may both be guilty of raping the other, but, morally, at worst, they're guilty of poor judgement in getting that drunk (and their respective friends may be guilty of allowing them to be in that state).
4) There are cases of having sex with someone who is legally underage, which, while morally debatable, are unquestionably not in the same league as the crimes in points 1 and 2. For example, two barely underage teens having what would otherwise be entirely consensual sex.
5) Lumping all forms of (legally) non-consensual sex together and declaring them all to be equally unacceptable does a disservice both to the people who perform the more innocent versions, and to the victims of the blacker versions.
6) Hypnosis/mind-control adds a whole new spectrum of shades of grey into the mix. Slave-Dash is enthusiastically consenting to everything Twilight does to her, but Regular-Rainbow didn't give consent to becoming Slave-Dash, whether she would have or not if asked.
7) When it comes to story tags, they serve as both positive and negative filters - someone wanting to avoid non-con stories will look for the tag as a warning (but might not mind this story), while someone looking for non-con stories will look for the tag as a recommendation (but probably be disappointed by this story).
Overall, I don't endorse Twilight's actions, but I do see the point in attaching a qualifier to the non-con tag, and support the distinction between this and violent rape.
9454976
Points 1 to 5 aren't really relevant, here. When I said there was no grey area, I meant in this particular discussion. As in, I resolutely disagree with your assertion that hypnosis adds shades of grey. Hypnosis means instant consent to anything the hypnotizer wants, regardless of what the response would be without hypnotism; this makes it functionally equivalent to drugging someone into falling asleep or becoming otherwise unable to resist. It's not a shade of grey any more than having sex with someone you drugged for the purpose of making them vulnerable is a shade of grey. Hypnosis is just a magical form of rape-drug.
As for point 7, I can tell you, as someone who often selects for consent in their perusal, that this is exactly the type story I'm trying to avoid if I'm in the mood to avoid non-con. There's a reason the tag is named that, rather than something like "violence". If someone is okay with this sort of story, then they shouldn't be filtering by "non-con"; it's their own fault for failing to think two seconds about what the tag says.
9455308
Thanks, fixed those.
9455003
Hypnosis can add layers of gray. It doesn't in this story, but it absolutely can, especially if it's close to how real hypnosis works.
9454855
That's the problem, I've never been able to masturbate to the porn I write.
9455003
9454473
I've had a brief discussion with Wintermist about this, and I've decided that things do need to change on the site. I've left the tag and removed the warnings, hopefully people will utilise it properly in the future. Again, I'm terribly sorry for having brought up this whole discussion, it's hard to choose the right words when it's 1 am and you're not speaking your native language but that doesn't justify what I wrote, and I understand it made it look like I was implying this or other forms or non-consensual sex aren't rape. I hope we can get over this, and if you have any more questions feel free to ask.
Hmm, I'd be more worried if it was Nightmare Moon or Chrysaliss running the whole show. It turning out to be Luna just makes me wonder what else she's been up to with this ability.
9455437
Put a spoiler on that thing, please.
9455424
<---- You're good, homes
9455456
Done. Sorry 'bout that.
Well, dang, this is absolutely amazing. I kinda want to write a sequel to this myself now.
9454976
I was not declaring them equally unacceptable. I was saying that when you get down to it, rape is rape.
9455003
There are at least three different fictional models of how hypnosis works:
There's the magical mind control "my wish is your command" where someone remains their normal self except where programmed responses and attitudes kick in. Which, yes, can be worse than date-rape or violent rape, as the victim witnesses themselves doing things that horrify them - or can be less bad as the victim is totally unaware of and untroubled by what they've done, meaning they're not traumatised by it. To be clear, I'm not saying that avoiding traumatising the victim makes it okay - just that traumatising the victim makes it worse.
There's the much more realistic relaxed inhibitions, where the hypnotee is no longer as limited by social constraints, with a similar effect to drinking a glass or two of wine - or drinking a glass or two of non-alcoholic wine under the impression that it's alcoholic - functionally, the hypnosis serves as permission for the hypnotee to act as they wish and blame the hypnotist, rather than compelling them to the hypnotist's will. As in real life, someone under this form of hypnosis can, and will, say "no" (or say "yes" and then not do whatever it is) to anything they're not comfortable with. As with someone having had something to drink, or having had a bad day, or not having slept enough the previous night, there is some impairment of the ideal ability to consent, but the ability to consent (or deny consent) is absolutely still present. I know of one case where, after several years of frequent hypnosis in the context of an abusive relationship, the hypnotist still had to resort to physical violence to be able to fuck her - so in real life, hypnosis absolutely does not remove the ability to deny consent.
And there's the alter ego - a subconscious personality that emerges under hypnosis and co-operates with the hypnotist for their own reasons, but is entirely capable of saying "no" or of taking the initiative away from the hypnotist entirely. Deciding where responsibility for what that alter ego does with the body lies is all sorts of grey - the hypnotist enabled it to happen, but the actual decisions were all made by (a part of) the hypnotee.
And then you can start comparing the effects of hypnosis to other influences - if a girl has sex with her boyfriend on prom night because it's prom night and that's what you do on prom night, is that consensual? It's the result of social conditioning at least as effective as anything a hypnotist can do. Or how about people who treat 50 Shades of Grey as an erotic romance rather than as a textbook depiction of an abusive relationship? Are they able to give informed consent to sexual activity?
So, yes, the particular form of hypnosis depicted in this story is non-consensual (though presumably non-traumatic), but hypnosis in general covers a range, and insisting that it all automatically invalidates consent means that some commonly accepted sexual activity should also be counted as non-consensual.
9453733
Please. This is mid-tier at worst.
Short, but hot. Usually I don't even bother reading clopfics under about 6000 words because I find them unsatisfying (either there isn't enough buildup or the payoff seems rushed), but I'm glad I gave this a chance because you did a great job using a limited word count to imply a much bigger story that's a lot of fun to imagine, even if we don't see everything unfold firsthand. So it really worked for me and didn't feel as rushed as stories this short normally do.
Nice twist at the end! I could see you writing a ”Clocktower Society“ style fic with this setup. Hot and sexy. A little more ‘non-con’ than I usually like but decently written all the same. Keep up the good work!
9462067
It's somewhat unlikely that I'll come back to expand on this premise, in the near future at least. With that said, if you enjoyed this and would like to read something similar and longer (and much better) I encourage you to read Friendship is Mind Control by Wintermist, it's in my opinion one of the best clopfics on this site.
Hm
well, thats an ending I wasnt expecting^^ Not that I mind though~
great readB
Sequel please.
I admit, at first I thought this was going to be junk at about the 30% mark. Basically, my view is, if you take away the clop, is there any story left? And it seemed like the answer was no.
But then, I came down to the comments, and found out that the readers had a lot of spoilers, and mentioned about liking the end.
So, I skimmed past the clop -- it is pointless -- and got to the end.
And ...
** BRAVO! **
That ending made this worth a like.
And no, real world hypnosis does not work like this. This is magical mind control, not hypnosis.
9865521
The clop might be pointless here, but I assure you there are stories out there by much more competent authors where sex is beautifully utilised as a way to showcase character traits and personality and at the same time to develop those characters. It can be a powerful narrative tool when treated with the emotional weight it carries.
And yeah, this isn't real hypnosis, but it draws on the typical hypnofetish aesthetic and for tagging purposes is classified as such. I'm no stranger to how real hypnosis works, but for the purpose of writing smut it's only really applicable in the context of consensual relationships, which this story isn't meant to be about.