• Member Since 10th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Sonic_RainbowDash2005


Hi everypony, I love sonic and my little pony so I decided to try writing about them

T
Source

Sonic the hedgehog was fighting Dr. Eggman and fell unconscious. The next thing he knew, he was in a foreign world. When he wakes up, he sees the love of his life and decides to ask her out.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 22 )

A surprising number of sonic crossovers have been cropping up recently.

9224082
And none of them good.

magaimg.net/img/6ewl.png
I'm not even going to give this the benefit of a read. I'mma give it to Blanc.
magaimg.net/img/5t0c.png

Oi. This one's the third in a week.

9224102
>sonic fandom
>good
I see what you did there.

https://m.

Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he’s created?

9224102
I'll say. It's Sonic stories like this that give all other Sonic stories on this site a bad rep.

sorry guys how can i make it better

9224587
By trying harder with your bait

please no you’re hurting me

9224621
ummm I don't understand but ok thanks for the feedback

9224715
>made account yesterday
>made sure to put in “2005” in your name to bait people into thinking you are 12-13
>not even a day goes by and you post this fic

9224587
The execution could use a bit of work.

1) There's almost no concept of pacing, so everything happens to fast, though, given the characters, that might've been intended.
2) The characters are out of character. What I mean is there's no way Sonic of all people would drop an F-bomb because he's in pain, and RD seems a bit too trusting and compassionate, though, that can be chalked up to the previous point. There's no time to develop any feelings between these two who are meeting for the first time.
3) In general, it can help to try writing in a more professional sense. Capitalization of proper nouns, proper punctuation placement, etc. I suggest reading a few books and seeing how they present themselves in their writing.

Even knowing all these, it's easy to make mistakes. To take the first step to become a better author, I suggest downloading Grammarly, or another free editing software, and editing your stories there. They help get the basics down, and if you write enough, you'll probably see the things Grammarly suggests pop up in your writing naturally.

Hope you continue writing and don't let an unsuccessful first story stop you.

9224721
thanks for your feedback i will definitely try to work on my pacing and making the characters more believable! thanks for the encrudgement too

I’ve not seen a ratio like this in a long Time

9225011
You have not seen Evictus, then.

9226568
O'hohohohohoho, I know that guy personally

9226639
Fair nuff, then.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!