Finding Love in Ponyville
Sonic and Rainbow Dash's Big Date
It was night time in Ponyville and a blue hedge hog laid on the ground. Sonic woke up and put a hand on his head. "ow fuck, my head." he said. The last thing he remembered was fighting Dr. Eggman and then the next thing he knew he was here. "Damn that bitch." Sonic looked around but it was too dark to see so he stopped looking. "SOMEONE HELP!" he yelled. He didn't know where he was and it scared him.
Some time passed and no one came so he stood up by himself. His leg hurt but he got up anyway and he started walking forward and walked for a while. Suddenly he saw some thing streak by the corner of his eye. He looked but nothing was there so he kept walking. He saw it again and wondered if he was seeing things. "HELP ME!" he screamed at the sky. To his surprise the light seemed to be coming closer. He put a hand up to cover his eyes for a moment and the next thing he knew there was a figure in front of him. Sonic breathed a sigh of relief finally someone was going to help him. "Hi Im lost so i was wondering if you could he-- WHAT THE HELL YOU AREN'T HUMAN." Sonic jumped and screamed at the pain in his leg.
The creatures features were mostly obscured by the darkness only illuminated by the moonlight. "Well duh this is Ponyville!" the creature said. "And you aren't a pony so what are you?"
"My name is Sonic and I come from the Sega universe and I was fighting Dr. Eggman and I lost and ended up here," said Sonic. "I'm hurt, can you help me?"
"I guess I can't leave you here," replied the pony. Sonic breathed a sigh of relief and said thank you. "All my friends are sleeping so you have to come to my house."
"Ok can you carry me because my legs are broken," Sonic said with a blush. The pony rolled her eyes but lifted him on to her back.
"AHHH what are you doing" screamed Sonic as they flew into the air a cool breeze blowing through his hair.
"We're flying duh," said the pony. They had a raspy voice but they definitely looked like a girl so Sonic assumed it was a girl. In the moonlight, Sonic got a better look at the pony. She had a very colourful mane and tail and four legs which really made him feel weird. He imagined himself with four legs and he could definitely run faster with four legs he thought.
"Where are we going?" said Sonic.
"I told you we're going to my house," said the pony.
"Ok, wake me up when we get there," said Sonic as he closed his eyes and drifted into a sleep entrusting himself to the pony
Again, Sonic woke up from unconsciousness but this time he woke up to blinding light. The rainbow coloured pony was staring down at him. "Oh, you're not dead," she said with a yawn.
"Of course not, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!" He tried jumping to his feet but they wouldn't respond.
"Yeah yeah, well you should rest for now. Fluttershy and the animals are asleep so I'll have to treat you myself." replied the pony. She padded into another room for a moment before returning with a roll of bandages and a bottle of liquid. "Don't move" she said as she laid out the bandages.
Now that he thought about it he had never even asked the pony their name. "Hey so what's your name?" Sonic asked the pony.
"It's Rainbow Dash and I'm the most awesome pony you'll ever meet!"
"Ok thanks for helping me Rain-- OW FUCK THAT HURTS" Sonic screamed as the pony poured the liquid on his leg.
"Shutup and quit being a baby," said the pony as she continued to clean the hedgehog's wounds. Sonic continued to scream every time Rainbow Dash cleaned his wounds and she rolled her eyes. "Ok we're done with the hard part." She started wrapping the bandages on Sonic's legs. Surprisingly his legs were very fit and muscular but she didn't say anything. She finished and said, "Ok, I'm finished."
Sonic tried flexing his leg and found he couldn't move it. He guessed it was that way so it could heal. "Thanks Rainbow Dash," he said rubbing a hand on his neck. This random pony had saved his life when otherwise he would have died.
"No problem," she replied, carrying the supplies back to their original room. Rainbow dash took a seat on the couch across from Sonic and picked up a book.
"Hey Rainbow Dash..."
The Rainbow pony looked up and gave him a concerned look. "What is it Sonic?"
"Thanks a lot for helping me i don't know what I would have done without you back there."
In spite of herself Rainbow Dash blushed. "I know you already said this," she said trying to play it cool.
"I know and right now I was just thinking to myself that you look really pretty in that light," he said with a smooth grin.
Rainbow Dash covered her face with the book she was reading to hide her blush. How was this Sonic she had just met so cute? "Thanks I guess. I'm going to sleep now!"
Sonic tried to stand up. "FUCK MY LEG," he screamed as he remembered his injury. he couldn't stand up so he sat down. Rainbow Dash rushed over to him and helped him back on to the couch.
"Be careful or your legs won't heal properly!"
"Thanks Rainbow Dash. I was wondering if you wanted to stay up with me and we could do stuff together." Sonic grabbed her wing and tugged her closer. Rainbow Dash found herself face to face with the hedgehog and looked away unable to hold his gaze. To her surprise he made her face him and looked deep in her eyes then he kissed her. To her surprise Rainbow Dash didn't dislike the kiss and kissed him back. "Wow that was amazing," said Sonic. Rainbow Dash nodded her head.
"Sonic I think I love you" said Rainbow Dash with a smile.
Sonic smiled back and put his arm around her neck. "I love you two Ranbow Dash."
The two creatures stayed up all night and had a really good night
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Wut...
A surprising number of sonic crossovers have been cropping up recently.
9224082
And none of them good.
magaimg.net/img/6ewl.png
I'm not even going to give this the benefit of a read. I'mma give it to Blanc.
magaimg.net/img/5t0c.png
Oi. This one's the third in a week.
9224102
>sonic fandom
>good
I see what you did there.
Ouch.
Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he’s created?
9224102
I'll say. It's Sonic stories like this that give all other Sonic stories on this site a bad rep.
sorry guys how can i make it better
9224587
By trying harder with your bait
please no you’re hurting me
9224621
ummm I don't understand but ok thanks for the feedback
9224715
>made account yesterday
>made sure to put in “2005” in your name to bait people into thinking you are 12-13
>not even a day goes by and you post this fic
9224587
The execution could use a bit of work.
1) There's almost no concept of pacing, so everything happens to fast, though, given the characters, that might've been intended.
2) The characters are out of character. What I mean is there's no way Sonic of all people would drop an F-bomb because he's in pain, and RD seems a bit too trusting and compassionate, though, that can be chalked up to the previous point. There's no time to develop any feelings between these two who are meeting for the first time.
3) In general, it can help to try writing in a more professional sense. Capitalization of proper nouns, proper punctuation placement, etc. I suggest reading a few books and seeing how they present themselves in their writing.
Even knowing all these, it's easy to make mistakes. To take the first step to become a better author, I suggest downloading Grammarly, or another free editing software, and editing your stories there. They help get the basics down, and if you write enough, you'll probably see the things Grammarly suggests pop up in your writing naturally.
Hope you continue writing and don't let an unsuccessful first story stop you.
I'll pass.
9224721
thanks for your feedback i will definitely try to work on my pacing and making the characters more believable! thanks for the encrudgement too
I’ve not seen a ratio like this in a long Time
9225011
You have not seen Evictus, then.
9226568
O'hohohohohoho, I know that guy personally
9226639
Fair nuff, then.
OF COURSE, just like Derpi this place is all “RRRRRREEEE” about Sonic.
You people aren’t that far off from Sonic fans (and I mean that in “Sonic fans are better but not by much”, not the other way around), just learn to live with it instead of downvoting.
9235280
I can't tell if your serious or trolling (which if you're trolling is a sign that you're a good troll so congrats on that).
You think this has such a low vote because it's about Sonic? I've literally written commissions about erotic abortion that got a significantly higher upvote count than this. So unless you think that more people like erotic abortion than Sonic, you can't possibly believe that these downvotes are because of Sonic's existence.
I like Sonic. What I don't like is fanfictions of him that put the minimal effort in, and for me to say 'minimal effort' says something. Would it have even been 1000 words if that wasn't absolutely required to publish a story here? I can only assume the author despises Sonic and wanted to give the stories a bad image.
Yo imagine if this sonic dude turns out to be Evictus...
9224587
First off I think you can take a look at other folks stories and see how they were written and get an idea of how to form A FUCKING SENTENCE and also STOP WRITING MLP X SONIC PORN. And I think this is the best one JUST DON’T FUCKING WRITE
Where it all began...
9381235
Hey, not trying to be mean or anything, or nosey and picky. But you're comment is very rude and offensive. Imagine if you were an author still trying to learn how to write. And you got told to stop writing period. I'd think your attempt of writing would be put away. Which. Is. Horrible. The author could one day be the best god damn author to live on this earth! Which is highly unlikely but still! This person, if they haven't already improved on their writing style, could become a really good writer. Criticism is good as long as it is nice and encouraging. I hope that you don't do this to other people. There's nothing wrong with what Sonic_Applejack2005 chooses to write. It's your fault for reading it in the first place. It's like ice cream flavors, just because you don't like vanilla or whatever doesn't mean you can or should say it's shit. Just try and help people out here! I write on another website and used to be really bad, but now I have friends who enjoy reading short stories I make because they love my writing style and my ideas. People change over time, I wouldn't say you're a bad person but you can't go around doing this.
9711707
Sadly, this writer is no longer around. But he barely improved during his tenure on the site.
I actually kinda miss him...
9878305
This was where it all began....
9892478
And a legend was born
9892569
I doubt whether any harm was done. I think this was a backup account created by an established author for a bit of a laugh.
9892652
I mean, it has all the hallmarks. There's a group on here devoted to archiving his work. I'll send an invite if yoi'd like.
9892666
OK.
9892677
No problem. I'm always keen to support new authors.
9892683
What if you
Wanted to go to Heaven
But God said
"First, you must read this fic, and give the writer a compliment and a pat on the back."
I'd rather go to Hell.
10373502
My original comment was not replying to Sonic_AJ2005.
10373647
Well, you wanted to.
10373650
I don't understand. I was speaking to somebody else. I would never complement these dumpter fires (and yes, I was there when they were originally uploaded).
10373652
I'm just saying how can the writer write such stuff
10373907
You think this is bad? In the words of Al Jolson, "you ain't seen nothin' yet."
10373909
I've seen the darkness.
10373966
Good.
10373971
k
10375009
No worries.
10375423
Not at all.