• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

CrackedInkWell


"Inspiration does not come to the lazy. It only comes to those who call it." - P. I. Tchaikovsky

T

Warning: The story you are about to read is currently unedited.


In this trio of short, anthological stories, I'll be telling three different ghost stories. One from the sea, one from the land, and one from the frosty air. All about some of the darker sides of Equestria.

1: The Cepheus - The Equestrian Naval ship receives a mysterious distress signal only to find an abandoned old ship floating in the fog.

2: The Hearse Ride - A group of foals decided to go on a new ride through the Everfree Forest in an old hearse with a cloaked driver and a ragged minstrel singing a rather disturbing song.

3: Psychosis - After spending over two weeks being trapped in a blizzard in the mountains, one of a group of friends is slowly driven mad to the point he would crave for something else.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 14 )

Holy crap, this had me shivering after the last part! So very well written.

A group of foals decided to go on a new ride through the Everfree Forest in an old hearse with a cloaked driver and a ragged minstrel singing a rather disturbing song.

How can a pony drive a car? Why is that my biggest question, but more importantly how can a pony drive a car?

9213015
There were hearses that were used before the automobile.

Definitely NOT the Wendigos from the Hearth's Warming story :twilightoops:. Scary thing is Wendigo Psychosis is real! It may not physically change a person like in the stories, but it can lead to cannibalism and insanity :pinkiecrazy:

9248311
Wait until you get to the next story.

Now that’s a Wendigo

A good story. The feeling of fear subsided for me after the lit cigarette and when they went further into the ship, but before that, I felt chills going through me. And that the atmosphere lessened for me when they continued to explore the ship doesn't have to bother you, this comment is coming from someone who has a large history with the horror genre which, sadly, means there isn't much that can really scare me anymore. But I was still feeling a lot of dread during the buildup to the deeper exploration of the ship despite my vast experience, so that's definitely a big achievement for the story.
I also like how the last entry in the log book is a normal, ordinary and unspectacular entry, that doesn't imply anything suspicious. This, combined with the complete absence of bodies, brought the horror atmosphere to a peak.
Some things could have profited from a hint of explanation, particularly why the ship came back to life, and you need to work on your english, there are sentences with wrong words being used littered throughout the story, but the rest of it is good.

Wow, this was a cold and ruthless end. This was a scary story and very original and creative, how they are just being taken on a hearse ride with a minstrel singing a creepy song to them while they get more and more afraid. And they actually die at the end! This is brilliant. I mean, bad endings are common for horror stories, so I shouldn't be surprised, but somehow, I did not expect that they actually would die. I don't know what it is, but something about the setup and buildup gives the feeling that they won't die at the end. But then they do. Brilliant.
And now I am glad that the fillies are just OCs. I could deal with it if the fillies who die are fillies I know, I'm hard enough for that, but of course I wouldn't like to see them suffer, so now I am glad these are just OC fillies here.
The song here is brilliant and for once, I could also imagine how it sounds when it's being sung, something I rarely manage when there is a song in a ponyfic. WIth this song, I now wish that this one of the three stories in the anthology would have gotten a reading for "Month of Macabre". I would die to hear this actually being sung by a talented pony voice actor who does a reading of this story.
Also, this story is so vibrant that I would like to draw it now, particularly, the scenes after they started panicking, I only lack the skill to do it justice right now. Maybe one day.

He became a wendigo! I knew it the moment he took off his winter coat and the cold wasn't affecting him anymore. I like the direction this story took, I was thinking he would start craving their flesh and attack them in the house, but this development is much more original. As well as him turning into a wendigo, I was thinking he would just go mad because of isolation and then start eating them but, once more, that idea is much better. His transformation happened in a quite unexpected moment, you managed to hold back on it until the reader isn't expecting it anymore.
And I love the narration at the beginning, especially the line that describes the Crystal Mountains as the loneliest place in the world. That gave me chills.

Overall, a great anthology. The first story stopped capturing me after the buildup, but the other two have spooked me sufficiently. My only real complaint I have is that you only wrote about OCs, when there are so many background or side ponies who get overlooked and could need the attention. For example, the third story could easily happen with Double Diamond, Sugar Belle, Party Favor and Night Glider as the characters. A tight-knit group of four friends, who live near the Crystal Mountains. Except for Sugar Belle, as she moved to Ponyville to be with Big Mac, but four friends getting together again for a vacation in the mountains fits perfectly.
The plot of the stories is good, though. Now I am looking forward to the reading of Story #3.

10626028

This piqued our interest and we started talking to relatives and doing research on the full lyrics and song origin. Interestingly, we found that there are no “set” lyrics, but only reoccurring words and themes. When telling our grandma about our newest arrangement, we were surprised to learn that she, too, learned a version of The Hearse Song when she was a child, which would have been over 80 years ago! In a way, this song is like “the telephone game” as over time children have changed and altered the lyrics so no version is the same.

All the more reason to make a ponified version of this song.

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