• Member Since 28th Nov, 2015
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kahnac


27, loves mlp, godzilla, transformers, and lot of other stuff

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"Shining "Dantes" Armor has had a perfect life as a kind, devoted, caring, and loving stallion. Not only named general of the Equestrian Military, and given a ship of his own to command: But he's also set to marry the mare of his dreams, Cadenze "Cadence" Mercedes. The two of them, whose love proved stronger than even the elements of Harmony. Everything was perfect.

But then, because fate is unkind, and turns a blind eye to other's suffering, Dantes is betrayed by those whom he considered his closest friends. Framed for the crimes of treason, and murder, both of which he had not done, he is condemned to a nefarious prison for the rest of his days. All the while never understanding why he ended up here, and with his fiance' having no knowledge of this treachery. As the years follow, the both of them struggle to hold onto their love, and keep hope alive.

But how can you have hope when all you begin to know is anger? When your only reason for being changes from reuniting with the one you love to having revenge against those who wronged you? Can there be any such hope for redemption in the end? And what DOES such revenge cost? What price is one willing to pay to settle the old scores while pushing aside those who cared for you?

These are the questions which will burn in the mind of Shining Dantes when he breaks free, and amasses a mighty fortune hidden within a secretive isle. But one thing is for certain: the colt he was died in the prison he was trapped in. Now he goes by a new name, tying to the place where he found his treasure, and the beginning of his revenge began.

This is the story of The Count of Monte Cristo, who will learn what the price of revenge is, and find out if he can ever be the same as he was before."

Based on the 2002 film, as well as the musical
Inspired by the Ink Potts animatic series, featuring Rainbow Dash

Chapters (21)
Comments ( 42 )

9077744
:twilightsmile: Don't you worry your pretty little head: there's MUCH more where this came from.:D

Cool idea. I have only seen animations with rainbow dash as Dante. This is a nice spin on the tale.

9077771
Thank you very much. Yes, the Ink Potts animatics were indeed an inspiration for this, though only partially. Still, inspiration is what it is, and i'm not someone who turns it away.:)

SO GOES THE STORY STICK TO THE STORY HERE ENDS THE STORY!!!

9077972
My new favorite villain song - and it's coming up in the next chapter. Along with the ACTUAL song to accompany it for added effect, I might add.:derpytongue2:

Ah the count of monte cristo, one of my favorite books from when I was younger. You sir get a fave and track off the bat and I will start reading once more chapters hit :pinkiehappy:

This is a great opening! Excellent move having the opening actually show the incident for which Dantes is accused, rather than hinting at it secondhand as the original does. It highlights the kind of person Dantes is, and will make his losses that much more tragic.

A few suggestions/reactions:

- If you're not planning on cameos from the Mane 6, this really feels like it should be taking place pre-Millenium, e.g. during the initial conflict between Nightmare Moon and Celestia, which ended in Nightmare being banished. This would parallel Napoleon's last years, and would also make Nightmare's calm, calculated behavior seem more justified. After her return from the Moon and defeat at the hooves of the Elements, she'd be much more likely to be completely off her rocker and unlikely to trust anyone. You could still have Shining Dantes, he'd just be a distant ancestor of the current one. (Or a happenstance resemblance, there doesn't need to be a reason.)

- In addition, putting this pre-Millenia would allow you to finesse the question of whether Luna and Nightmare Moon are the same pony. (Disclaimer: I lean towards monism rather than dualism on this point, simply because I think it makes Luna's wish to redeem herself much more meaningful, but that's just my take on it. :twilightsmile:)

- Dantes really needs a much stronger reason to agree to Nightmare's request. In the original, he is instructed by his dying captain to take a message to a certain party, someone other than the Emperor, and to do whatever that party asks of him, Wanting to meet his commander's dying wish, while at the same time not realizing the actual source of the message he's bringing back, helps make it clear he is in fact innocent. There could still be a private conversation with Nightmare Moon, which while not touching on the message sent via her agent, would serve to allay any suspicions he has about her. Also, she can still watch his departure while laughing at his foolish innocence. But Dantes shouldn't realize or even suspect that he's being made a catspaw here, or he loses some credibility in the reader's eye.

- On Tirek, Sombra, and Shining sitting in a boat together: I could not help but think of the scene from Muppet Treasure Island where Kermit screams "WHO HIRED THIS CREW!!!" :pinkiegasp: You do a good job making the point that the other two are attempting to redeem themselves, so perhaps the issue is that it's not clear from the text as written whether these are meant to be the actual Lord Tirek and King Sombra, deposed and serving with Dantes, or whether they're simply those characters playing the roles from the Dumas novel. In the original, Fernand and Danglars are essentially just other crewmembers, so the issue doesn't arise. If these are meant to actually be Tirek and Sombra, maybe there needs to be a smidge more backstory showing why they've decided to redeem themselves (either for good or for more nefarious purposes). If you're planning on getting into this later, it can just be light foreshadowing at this point.

- I'm totally cool with how this is written in a realistic style, it has plenty of Dumas quality to it. Still, it could stand a little more MLP whimsicality. If you had any inclination to take it in that direction, one random thought would be instead of Nightmare Moon as the Emperor, having Pinkie Pie (or a distant ancestor of hers) as the Emperor. Now hear me out: unhinged, monomaniacal, and short -- perfect casting! Because we all know that if Pinkie ever truly went bad, no one would be safe! :pinkiehappy:

Anyway, the story's yours to tell, these are just some ideas of how to make it even cooler.
I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes!

Ooh, I really like how you've depicted Tirek in this. Something tells me he's not gonna be too happy about Shining Armour's promotion. Great introduction!

9083423
Thank you very much! And i'm happy you like Tirek in this. The point IS to make him someone to dislike, though not completely. However, that doesn't mean he's good. In fact, while he's only ONE of the main villains, since he plays the role of Danglars, I actually wanted to make him the most influential, and prominent of the 3. After all, it was Danglars who began all the trouble in the first place. And i've got ideas for him that go beyond the original story, since he's a main villain.

But anyway, though i'm glad you like this so far, i suggest you fasten your seatbelt. This is going to be a VERY. ROUGH. RIDE.

I like the development you're giving Shining and the hate Tirek has boiling within him is gratifying.

Dude What Grogar is doing to Shining!!!! That is just messed up 😲!!!!




But I love this story so far keep going Please 🙏 :pinkiehappy:.

Comment posted by kahnac deleted Sep 1st, 2018

Man, everything went from enthusiastic and happiness to just complete madness, sucks to be Shining.

9140534
Yep. And just before his wedding could even be prepared. Though given how Edmond himself was arrested on his ACTUAL wedding day, i'm not exactly sure which is a worse scenario.^^;

9140658
Yeah, probably. Especially since it was done by two individuals he trusted a great deal: one a commander, the other a stallion he considered a brother.

Man this sucks for Shining Dantes :fluttercry: not only (like the song) he is slowly losing hope. But now Sombra has succeeded in his part of the plan!!!! :twilightangry2:

And to add more salt to the wound I think Cadence Mercedes is PREGNANT and Shining doesn't know!!!!!!! :pinkiegasp:


I don't know who this Spell Nexus guy is. Because I have never read Past sins before? :unsuresweetie: (I know whats it about).

But I like how the story is going it kinda reminds me of a series of unfortunate events mostly from how unlucky the main characters are.

And I love that you put the songs from the musicals I love the songs from the musical (especially Hell to your doorstep that's my favorite one. :pinkiehappy:) So keep going I want to see Shining Get his revenge!!!!! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy: I'm going crazy about it. :pinkiecrazy:

9140728
Indeed. This is NOT a good day for our heroes. Shining, of course, has it worse than anyone else due to his circumstances. And now, because of Sombra Mondego, even Cadence has lost hope. Now a little bit more of HER dies, as well.

Also, I love that guess you made about Cadence's possible condition. I promise it IS going to come to a head in the later chapters. And let's just say i'm trying to make it a more believable twist than what possibly some adaptations have done. Though the 2002 movie did it well enough for MY taste.:)

________________________________________________________________________

Well, if you ARE familiar with Past Sins, then you'll know Spell Nexus was the ring-leader of the Nightmare Moon cult who gave Nyx life, and later made her Nightmare Moon, again. He was the REAL villain of the story before Nyx released him from his enthrallment.:)

Ah!:D Interesting notion, even though The Count of Monte Cristo came about AGES before that story series. But I do like that you've drawn that conclusion.:)

Of course! How could I NOT add in the songs? If anything, I firmly believe they're what makes "The Count of Monte Cristo" so fantastic - even more than it already is. In fact, all of those songs are my new favorite musical pieces.:) And don't worry: Shining will have his retribution in time. Like Edmond Dantes himself said at the end of the story: Just wait, and pray.;)

9140730
That's why we should always be careful who we trust.

9079308
Thank you very much. I think i'll enjoy your input as I continue doing this.:D

9085030
Thank you on both accounts. Keep in mind Shining Armor is my favorite pony, and I feel like his character fits as Edmond Dantes. Also, I enjoy writing him as someone who you can actually enjoy, and root for. Even as The Count, i'm hoping to keep that train going for as long as I can.:) And in regards to Tirek......yes, he certainly has quite the temper going for him. However, you may soon find it's because he has his own plans in order that he wants to see through when he's promoted. Shining, not even remotely meaning to, put a damper on his plans, and earned his ire. Thus begins the cruel conspiracy, and betrayal.:(

9120173
Indeed it IS messed up. And you know what's worse? Take away the magical aspect, and they used to do things like this back in the 1800s, and probably before in old days in prison. They held even less respect for their prisoners than today. So it's good you feel disgusted by what's happening to our Shining Dantes.:) And thank you for your compliment, too. I promise i ain't stopping this any time soon.:D

9079358
Mmmmmm! I actually like all of this input. It's always good to have an amount of analysis such as this in a story. Now, if it's okay, allow me to offer some info....and a few rebuttles to your analyses:

-Don't you worry: The Mane Seven (which Spike is a member) are in this story. I wouldn't make reference to them if I wasn't about to feature them in this story. Their roles just won't be so big because it's Shining Armor as Edmond Dantes who is the main focus. In regards to Nightmare Moon, I don't really know is she'd be off her rockers. In fact, even with her official debut, and when she appeared in the flashback episode, she didn't seem like the kind of individual who would go crazy. Technically, all baddies could be considered crazy, but NMM seems more in control of herself at all times....unless something goes wrong, then her temper flares a bit. And while intrigue is abound with your mentioning Pre-Millennium era, I only wanted to keep the characters as they are. The only real differences is that the characters have their own names mixed with the characters they portray in this universe. I know it's weird, but there have been alot weirder things i've seen, i assure you.:)

-No worries: i am not naive to how the original book went down. But as I said in the description, this is also a hybrid of the 2002 movie adaptation. In that one, Edmond accepted the letter request because A) he was hoping to keep peace with Napoleon so that they could keep their only hope at saving the captain (the surgeon), and B) because even in that movie, Edmond has always been a trusting, and somewhat naive young man who always saw the good in everyone. He didn't want to look for the bad in others, so he always gave the benefit of a doubt to them......before he was betrayed, and imprisoned, of course. The same goes for Shining in this story: he was only trying to do his best to keep things peaceful between his crew, and the Lunars. Empress Moon really gave him no choice but to comply: it was either do this, or let Iron hoof die when there was a chance to save him. And, just like his predecessor, Shining is an extremely trusting stallion who doesn't look for the bad in others unless they show it. He's just trying his hardest to make sure everything works out. I mean, Edmond had no idea he was being used, either. And that's the point of it: to show us what his biggest weakness was, and how it lead to his downfall in the stories. That is one thing they all have in common. However, you're right about that trust bit: i shouldn't show Shining as hesitant to trust Empress Moon, or else it'll ruin the whole point of that scene. So, I just had it fixed. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.:)

- On Tirek, Sombra, and Shining sitting in a boat together: I could not help but think of the scene from Muppet Treasure Island where Kermit screams "WHO HIRED THIS CREW!!!" :pinkiegasp: You do a good job making the point that the other two are attempting to redeem themselves, so perhaps the issue is that it's not clear from the text as written whether these are meant to be the actual Lord Tirek and King Sombra, deposed and serving with Dantes, or whether they're simply those characters playing the roles from the Dumas novel. In the original, Fernand and Danglars are essentially just other crewmembers, so the issue doesn't arise. If these are meant to actually be Tirek and Sombra, maybe there needs to be a smidge more backstory showing why they've decided to redeem themselves (either for good or for more nefarious purposes). If you're planning on getting into this later, it can just be light foreshadowing at this point.

-:rainbowlaugh: Holy crap! I never imagined anyone would make that reference! But it was obvious, wasn't it?:D Anyway, yes: these are the original Lord Tirek, and King Sombra, who escaped their respective imprisonments years prior to this day. As for the backstory about their appearance, don't worry: the future chapters will have explanations for how they were welcomed into Equestrian society. And also show if either one's intentions are true, or not.:)

-:twilightoops: Please, don't try and scare me like that again! The last thing we need is for that monstrous little pink pony to go evil. *shudder* But alas, I want to try, and keep this story on a tone as similar to the original story as I can. However, i'll try and add some humor to it once in a while. The reason I picked NMM as Bonaparte was because I felt nopony else ever had that amount of authoritarian presence than her aside from Tirek and Sombra. She was somepony who commands respect, and power from all around her. No disrespect to Chrysalis fans, but she never felt as imposing to me as Nightmare Moon. Also, i wanted to be ironic given Napolean and his.......size issues.XD

Either way, I appreciate all of your input, and thoughts. You certainly helped me in ways I didn't realize on my own. And i enjoyed reading what you had to say. I hope to see more from you in the future.:)

Ohhh great Garble is in this story :ajbemused:. Look I can understand why you choose him to be Jacapo (I read your Author's note and understand it.) but Garble is one of the most hated characters. I just hope in a future chapter spike finds out about him and than tries to get his own revenge. :trixieshiftright: (But one revenge at a time!)


Let his new life as the Count Begin. :pinkiehappy:

9184698
I understand your grievance, but this isn't the same Garble we all know. He, and Spike never even met before. So there's no hostility between them, and the red salamander isn't as lousy as in the show. His time with his boss, Shining Dantes, took care of that easily.

________________

Yes. The time of the Count has arrived, at last.:D

Aw jeez, things don't look too good for Shining Armour, I mean, what Grogar is doing is just sick and twisted, it's like he's kicking him while he's already down. And as for Sombra, man... You just had to make him the slimy snake, didn't you? I don't think he'll be able to slither for long when the truth spills out.

9186772
Indeed so. I wanted to add a certain realism pertaining to the days when prisons would treat their prisoners like this. It was a method of breaking their spirits, and ensuring they never attempt to escape. And Shining has many years of this to look forward to.:( And of course, I had to make him slimy. He's playing the role of Mondego, who did exactly as Sombra is doing now. That's part of how he pulls of this whole plan: by playing the good friend to win her trust - and eventually her affections. Trust me when I say he'll certainly get what he deserves in time....though it's a long time coming.

For now, though, just take a little comfort in the fact Shining and Cadence will do their best to stay true to each other, and be there for one another even in spirit - and no obstacles will stand in their way.:)

Oh God, please tell me you are continuing this. Please!
I loved your work and I need More!!

10519258
I will! Trust me, I will: I just have alot of other stuff to do alongside this, and unfortunately it kinda keeps me waylaid from focusing on stories like this one. But I haven't forsaken this, or any of my others. I just have other projects that keep me busy. But I WILL get back to working on this again soon enough, I promise. I don't like leaving people hanging like this......but I should probably also consider using the 'hiatus' term more often so that people don't have to wait needlessly.^^;

My thoughts reading the chapter:

“Ugh, a child of Cadance and Sombra. Gross. Well, let’s-“

Sees picture of Valiant Heart

:pinkiegasp:

“whoa, hold up... is there not any link between one pony’s coloration and their parents? Because there’s no way anyone looks at that colt and thinks Sombra’s the father. He’s exactly what I would expect a son of Shining and Cadance to look like. Does Sombra not know? How can anyone not know?

It's.......kinda complicated at to explain right now, but........let's just say that I have a reason, and i'll EVENTUALLY get it out there in time. But, to tell the truth......the chances of you being right regarding the boy, and his "similarities" may be right. Why else do you think Mondego keeps distancing himself from him though he's trying to actually be a father? Confliction mixed with hatred can be chaotic, and horrible to deal with. Especially because Valiant reminds him of the pony he hates, even if he thinks Edmond is dead.

Wait is the following the story’s plot or are there changes

Glad to see things worked out! Although the story isn’t finished yet…

10916441
Indeed. But as you can see, I AM still working on it. There are still some details I need to iron out before I can finish this. :) (It'd be nice if I had some help, but I work with what I got ^^; )

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