Cover Art belongs to https://sushiihamster.deviantart.com
The duty of a King is to be there for his subjects. To guide, and rule them with fairness, and compassion. To lead them into a bright, and beautiful future in peace and prosperity. He must care for them as if they were his own, and protect them with his life. Those are the qualities of a pure king. But there are a few exceptions to this principle: and that is King Sombra. The nefarious unicorn who fell to the dark powers, and became an evil despot who conquered the Crystal Empire, and enslaved the ponies who lived there, before his 1000 year imprisonment in the Frozen North. His return 1000 years later may have brought about a second reign of hate and fear, with his slaves trapped in his iron grip for all time. That is, were it not for the efforts of eight ponies, and a small baby dragon who brought back the Crystal Heart, and used the power of Love inside to restore the empire, and vanquish the evil king once, and for all.
But this was not the end of the story itself.
The duties of a prince is to his people. To guide, and rule his subjects with fairness, and compassion. To treat them as his own, and protect them with his own life. And Prince Shining Armor, husband to Princess Cadance, and Former Captain of the Guard, is a pony who would give his life to protect everyone: whether it's his own family, the princesses themselves, AND his newfound subjects. While he still isn't quite sure about his place as a Prince, he is as sure as he can be that his place remains with his beloved wife.
But now that love must be put to the test. Ever since Cadance, and his sister found the secret study of King Sombra, something strange has been happening with Shining Armor. He feels.........unsafe at times. As if something were always following him. And he swears he hears a voice in his head. Worse still are these compulsions which threatens to take him over. What could this all mean? Is Shining Armor perhaps suffering from the strains of the recent events in his life? Or is something else at work here? Something insidious, and dark. Something which seeks to use him in order to see its return to power. The only question remaining is this:
Can Shining Armor stand against this evil? Or will he succumb to the Darkness within>
Shouldn't you end that with a question mark?
8432839.......Yyyyeeeessssss. I was kinda speed-typing, and apparently missed a spelling error. I'll go fix that now.:D
I have read this story three times now, I think. So, really that should let you know how much I enjoy it
However, there are a few things which frustrate me; one is the grammar, it's not too bad, but it could be improved. The other, I think, effects the reading experience a lot more, and that is; are they ponies or people? Seriously, there are points where you mention hooves and cutie marks and fur, but they also have hands and clothes? It's really confusing, and when I first read the story, I had so much trouble trying to figure out how I was supposed to imagine the characters. So if you could, I don't know, explain or clear things up somehow, I know I won't be the only one to appreciate it.
Otherwise, this story is great, and I very well might read it a fourth time somewhere in the future
10383978
I truly am grateful for the praise, and that I apparently got you to read this more than once. Even when I was a rank amateur, I guess I was still good enough to get this kind of attention. That's at least some accomplishment.:)
And I won't argue with any of that, since when I wrote this, I was mostly just starting out. I didn't care much for paying full attention to my grammar because I just wanted to get the story written. Thankfully, those days are over, and i've improved both writing skills, and concern for how I write. To be clear, though, I DID try to go back and fix the grammatical errors I made since I felt it needed it badly. But other stuff got in the way, and I abandoned it. However, you HAVE given me some consideration for retrying again. So again, i'm thankful to you for that.:)
And to be clear again, they're anthro's: meaning the characters are animals with human like bodies. In the equestrian's case, their base bodies are still ponies, which means they still have their heads, fur colors, cutie marks, and equine feet. The rest of them is humanoid. I even put it in the rating section so people could see that. Maybe I did some things wrong in the story, but i'll have to look back to see. Either way, thank you for both your praise, and your analytical view on this. It was insightful, for sure.:)
10384953
I didn't actually expect a response, but I'm glad to hear that you took my criticism well. Also, I guess the whole anthro thing was kind of on me. I figured it out eventually, but I really should have taken a closer look on the tabs for the story
It would be cool if you fixed up the story some day, whenever I get around to writing my own ideas, I will likely mess with them in the future myself.
Your story is good, and be safe
10386841
Thank you on all fronts. Your points were received, and I promise that I WILL fix up some of the grammar mistakes I made one of these days. Either way, thank you for liking my story, and you also stay safe.:)