• Member Since 10th May, 2014
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MrWriterWriter


If anyone recognizes me from Fanfiction.net, Hey guys! It's me.

Comments ( 28 )

Cute little blurb... hopeing for more.

It's a good start, though it could have used a longer build up. If you drew out the scene where Spike was feeling up Fluttershy's by having him explore more of her body or by adding an oral sex scene it would have helped emphasize her feeling of helplessness and gave a more satisfying payoff at the end.

This was nice. I don't think it needed to be longer. It was just a quick little short showing a fantasy of Shy. I think each chapter should be their own self contained story. I was SOOOO happy it was just a fantasy tho, I was so ready to curse Spike out for taking advantage and just out of the blue start sexually assaulting someone like that.

I think one would be cool if it takes place in the human world but it is very lady and the tramp with THIS universe both Spike and Shy are dogs and they meet. lol

I could also see one of a flip where Spike it older to a loli Shy lol.

I think a Cougar Shy meeting a younger Spike, teen, and the younger male decide he want the older woman who isn't use to the attention.

What about one where Shy if a female dragoness and comes across a human Spike.

A super sub Shy and a dom Spike would be fun as well. Like Shy finally confesses to her friends she has been seeing Spike. They ask for details and she gives WAY more than they thought when she tell them how she met her master lol.
There are just so many little one shots that would be fun with this pairing lol.

The sexual bottle is building up.

That ending kinda gave me blue balls.

But nevertheless a great story!

1.- Interesting.

2.- Blue balls already? The shame.

Great chapter, A nice way to end this little two parter for sure. I think one where Shy finds a dragon in the woods and it turns out to be Spike would be interesting. But this time it could be Spike is shy around people and she help him. He then become devoted and loyal to Shy, like her protector. He is nice and calm most of the time but any danger comes to his 'treasure' he will destroy it lol.

Yes, this is much better than the first chapter. You did a great job of taking your time and showing just how much Fluttershy was at Spike's mercy, it made the payoff much more satisfying at the end.

Let's see their first day since becoming a perverted couple.

So did Rarity actually read the collar?

This was wonderful. PLEASE! Tell me this is going to continue.

If not that's fine. I understand if you want to go on to something else.

I want to see more of this relationship.

There that moral grey area! Too be honest, giving her personality, I would have too!:moustache::yay:

Cute, hot and sexy! Just like the girl/mare herself!
Awesome job!:moustache::yay:

It really wasn't bad by any means, my singular complaint is that you really needed it edited a bit better; there are entire words missing in some places or parts that don't really make sense how you wrote them. Its possible to figure it out, but, ideally, it should be clear.

Examples: spanking before and his hand was getting a little. A little what? Logic says sore, but the story should also tell us.
Another example is you have spike pull some strings and something drops, but you don't say if he removed the panties or the "skirt", again we can figure it out when we're told shes bare but until then, its pretty much a guess, which messes up visualizing the act.

You did good, but checking for errors goes a long way.

Well, that was fun. And I agree with Spike, Pinkie is super cheeky and it's hot that she's a perv. Like the rest of us!:moustache::heart::yay: :pinkiehappy:

Somehow I was expecting Pinkie to say "Don't mind me, I am just waiting for my turn!"

Aye, ‘tis very good, like the story at general. Either Fluttershy is oversensitive or I have no idea how to explain her orgams from spanking though.

:trollestia:Yea Spikey Boy Why You No Fuck?!

That's my boy Spikey!

Hmm. Wonderful Chapter! This needs a sequel where Pinkie gets involved. Thx for another great story!

9367992
The knowledge, situation, Spike’s presence, Spike is the one doing it, the concept and roles being played, raw sensation? I dunno

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