This story is a sequel to Non-Adventure In The Crystal Empire
Chancellor Orangeglow, 1st Lord Bedstable, has landed in Ponyville with Princess Celestia's Honour Guard to check on some camps facilities he had built nearby and the possible leveraged buyout of Friendship Castle. The lack of a welcome committee causes him to march over to City Hall in a huff. Regrettably for him, the mayor's secretary had prepared for his visit.
Rated "T" for cursing and a not insignificant amount of bigotry.
Artwork by and used with the kind permission of NitsuaSensei.
Chapters (1)
Amusing. Also I’m morbidly curious to find out how many downvotes this will get from Trump supporters.
9046457
voted for Trump, but I have a sense of humor and laughed
9046468
Then you have my respect. If you look at the previous story on Orangeglow you would see you might be in something of a minority.
9046457
ALL OF THEM!! (except one, it seems)
I really don't feel like writing an Author's Notes blog for this story. It's pretty self-explanatory. All I'll add is that I wrote it in one go on the 4th of July but decided not to post it then as I thought that would have been bad taste even by my standards.
PS -- Never once have I said in a story or description that Orangeglow is meant to be Donald Trump. As far as I'm concerned, OG is just a braggart squib Unicorn business mogul from Manehattan who got the Equestrian Senate to elect him prime minister. No more or less. Any similarities to real persons living or dead is probably entirely coincidental.
9046468
I appreciate you giving my story a chance. While Orangeglow is certainly an antagonist, I did try to give this story more genuine humour than the last two I wrote about him. I'm legit scared of what would happen if he and Twilight were to ever meet.
Celestia: Prime Minister Orangeglow, for your actions against the wellbeing of Equestria, as well as your treasonous words against the crown, you are hereby stripped of your office, wealth, and property and immediately exiled from Equestria for the rest of your life. Oh, and the Griffons, Dragons, and Zebras have all declared that you are barred from their lands as well. GUARDS! Remove this pitiful excuse for a pony from my lands at once!
Ay tú!
I chuckled. I must say that I think you actually captured Trump's syntax quite well. The comedy is also fairly entertaining.
9046457
I find the fact that you expect such backlash to be awfully presumptuous, and rude on your part, sir.
I'm sorry, but I couldn't bring myself to like this. Not because I support our President (god no) but because this just wasn't funny. Orangeglow is TOO horrible even for a thinly-veiled parody, and the story was a reminder of what an awful place your Equestria must be given the utter unlikable bitch you've turned Twilight into and how Celestia is an either incompetent or uncaring person to allow someone this awful to become Prime Minister in the first place. I'm sorry, but that's just how I feel.
Well at least one of you can do more than cry in a safe space or on Twitter.
9046771
Duly noted.
9047073
Suck it up, snowflake.
I've been writing Orangeglow stories since 2016 and I won't stop so long as ideas keep coming.
9046941
Well, I apologize you didn't find my story funny. I'll try to improve in the future.
I get it. You don't like how I portray Twilight. You know I specifically had YOU in mind when I mentioned her in this story? I went out of my way to make sure that her being upset at Spike was entirely justified, and made it very clear that Twilight would only explode because OG would provoke her. In short, this time, you're reading things into my work that aren't there.
9047189
You said repeatedly that everyone was afraid Twilight would destroy Ponyville out of anger if she met Orangeglow. Hard not to read into that.
another nice and poignant piece from our resident warm-coloured-pony writer (seriously, Meyer, Sunset, Applebloom, Orangeglow? Nice palette you got going there!)
Not my favourite of your stories, to be fair, but it got a good few chuckles out and I think it did exactly what it set out to do. Congratulations. Don't let the downvote brigade get ya down. Here's to more of the good ol' OG, and however he decides to hide the little mishap the "present" had in store for his mane.
Also I love the cover art.
9048263
Never thought about it that way, but you have a point.
However, pretty much the only main characters I haven't written a POV story for at this point are Rainbow Dash and AJ, and that's because Dashie's the character I identify with the least, while AJ is a master straight-man who usually works best when reacting to others. I have a half-completed story with her and Rarity where I literally lol'd writing AJ's entrance.
That's fine. Lots of people don't like my Mayor Mare stories, even when I don't include my parody of a certain non-politician. You know readers see me as "The Guy Who Writes Depressed Sunset Shimmer". Sunnybuns is my muse, but it can be draining to write for her, so I need to take a break every once in awhile and just do something silly. As long as I'm posting on this site, I will continue to post Mayor Mare stories on January 20th at minimum, because her world is a blast to write.
Sometimes, I wish the Trump liberals see on the news actually existed. As fucked up as the idea might be, the unhinged can't lie, riot, block roads, or attack people if they're locked away in camps. Still, I'm glad that their Drumpf doesn't exist, and I'm glad the real Trump is an honest, intelligent man who believes in freedom, justice, and other things loony leftists despise.
As far as the fic goes, 0/10, but I'm not going to dislike. I want to know why you made this.
9047189
You misunderstand. Keep writing them. I would much rather hear things like this than read about another person crying in a safe space. You're at least acting on your ideas and putting them out into a public forum. As for the story....eh.
9051057
You make me want to create a story called, "[x pony] Cries In A Safe Space". Not sure who yet. See, interaction with readers can lead to stories by me for better and for worse.
As a former cartoonist, I'm an equal opportunity skewerer -- Celestia had issues with parody-Obama when he was prime minister too. I will get into that the next time she and the mayor meet.
9048972
I admit I wish to know if you post on stories like these because you want to get a rise out of people. I recall your rather long back and forth in the comments of the Starlight dumpster fire piece.
9063634
Not sure what you mean, Starlight Glimmer is the dumpster fire. I'm not "some evil troll who's just saying this to make people mad", I genuinely like Donald Trump and think he's a great president. I also genuinely dislike Starlight Glimmer, because she's a spotlight-stealing Mary Sue with the worst redemption arc ever written. Yes, even Kevin 11's redemption was written better than this.
I want to engage people who love Glimmer in honest discussion to find out how they could like such an awful pony. So far, the only reason I've heard besides "I dunno i just do lol stop caring unironically lmao XD" is "I like the idea of her and I wish she was written better". The latter makes sense.
9063646
The debate in the dumpster fire piece had nothing to do with glimmer as it dealt with a joke about midway through the intro where it said she animated a series of toilet clogs that Twilight then disposed of through a portal which angered Sunset as it went on to win an election. Story is by Justice3442 if I recall. Either way there are a large number of posts where you and a self described troll went at each other at length over political views over Trump and Hillary.
9063686
Wait, are you saying a troll agreed with me on something, or that a troll was involved in the debate? Because either way, that doesn't reflect anything on me. One time, I debated a Communist, and some Monarchist also got pissed off at the Communist for lying so much. That doesn't make me a Monarchist.
9064202
Hilariously enough, I am somewhat of a monarchist despite (or perhaps because) I'm 'Murikan and, thanks to my fields of study, have seen the shortcomings of the republican system as it exists in most countries in the Western Hemisphere plus a few in Europe. I have absolutely no desire to debate you or anyone else, however. I'm just a writer trying to create stories that make you feel emotions, whether that be mirth, sadness, frustration, etc.
That said, if y'all want to have it out, please do so via PM and not clog up my comment section. Thanks.
9064202
Debate may have been an overly nice way of putting it. Your opening post in the thread was:
“Hey, kids. I see you're having fun playing the "Who can be a smugger twat in front of the other" game. Would you like me to come in here and ruin the game and mass-media-induced trumpphobia by posting facts?”
With that plus various lines mentioning loony leftists and mocking the troll’s debate skills, it comes across as picking a fight for the sake of it as opposed to attempting to get a point across.
9064522
Huh. But if you don't treat the far-left super-insane lunatics like they're exactly that, they'll think they're being reasonable when they demand you accept a compromise between real objective truth and the lies they believe, what each one calls "My Twuth".
I can reason with someone who incorrectly thinks Gun Control works. I don't think I can reason with someone who believes the "The NRA are terrorists who lobby the government to make more school shootings happen!" lie.
9066837
In both cases I’ve seen you in people mostly just argue that Trump is petty and racist. I can understand not bothering to actually argue with conspiracy theorists, but people have been calling Trump petty and racist since the days of Opus.
9066969
People have been calling everyone petty and racist since the words were invented.
9067023
Most people threaten to sue someone who states a correct fact about their financial history or build an expensive and ultimately pointless wall along our southern border.
9067217
Are you talking about the whole "GIB US DRUMPFS TAX RETURNS" thing? Don't worry, when you're old enough to understand how tax returns work, you'll understand that using tax returns to pay less tax as a reward for doing charity shit is a good thing. You'll understand that he isn't "EXPLOITING LE SYSTEMM!", you'll understand that he's benefiting from a system designed to encourage charity stuff. You'll also understand that even with what Trump paid, he still paid more in taxes than Bernie Sanders.
As for the second thing... Don't worry, when you're old enough to understand how walls and borders work and why borders are integral to the foundation of a nation, you'll understand why people who understand this stuff take borders so seriously. Let me guess, you saw some shitty CNN/Collegehumor video on this and you just took it at face value, right?
Fucktons of criminals (typically gang members and rapists) who would be turned away at border checkpoints, even with the fact that America's standards for immigrants are so much lower than any other country's standards, sneak across assorted deserts and through unstable underground tunnels every year. And they know they'd be turned away at the border, which is why they illegally hop across it, leapfrogging in front of legal immigrants who earned the right to come here. Crossing deserts and crawling through tunnels and dealing with mexican criminals who hang around in the area to rob/rape passing migrants, it's dangerous to the health of these criminal border-hoppers, and the kids they drag along with them. Which aren't even their own kids 45% of the time.
If you don't want to be separated from your kids, don't bring your kids along with you when you commit a crime.
Mexico is a shithole, and it became a shithole because the disarmed populace and cucked police are unable to fight back against the low-level criminal gangs of rapists and murderers. Forget fighting the drug cartels, they practically run the corrupted government over there. Mexico is an embarassment to the world.
People all over the world want to flee the shithole countries they helped ruin and move to America to enjoy the lavish benefits it hands out to immigrants, even if countries that also accept "Refugees" but don't give out benefits are closer. But immigration doesn't solve the root cause of the issue. It doesn't help all the people in shithole countries, just the lazy and selfish ones who feel like leaving their country to rot and becoming a burden on another country.
Immigration doesn't work. Unchecked immigration, with no background checks, and legalized illegal immigrant voting, that also doesn't work. Well, it doesn't work for any good purposes, but liberals want illegal immigrants to enter america and illegally vote them back into power. Because the DNC higher-ups get to live in mansions and gated communities far away from areas turned into shitholes by illegal immigration. Liberals want and assist and encourage Mexico and the Middle East to interfere with American elections, and they're crying about imaginary Russian meddling to distract you from that.
The Great Wall of America is necessary, and if Mexico doesn't want to pay for it, it should pay for all the legal and illegal Mexican immigrants who fled to America when their country turned into a lawless shithole.
I'd apologize for my harsh tone here, but in the Age of Information, ignorance is a choice.
9067947
Aren't the majority of Americans historically immigrants or the descendants of immigrants? If it weren't for immigration, our country wouldn't even exist. It's not as if the majority of our ancestors were the people who lived here first, after all. Does that mean you're calling all our ancestors lazy and cowards for leaving their 'shitty countries' to establish a home in the New World?
9084736
</sarc>
You are correct. But, don't try to reason with it. Its worldview is formed by its master and him alone. Obviously our ancestors were totally different from those people coming now.
Ever since mass immigration to the USA became a thing shortly before the Civil War, we've had a schizophrenic streak about it. The current rhetoric is nothing compared to what we said about the Irish, and we legally banned any more Chinese from coming for several decades due to paranoia. Out of penance for turning away tens of thousands of Jewish refugees before WWII (back to Europe where they died in the Holocaust), we passed the Asylum Act -- which our current government is violating, let the record show -- to keep that from happening again.
You can fix the government by voting to replace it, but you can't fix stupid.
9085150
Sadly true.
Speaking of stupid government, why was Orangeglow even in Ponyville in the first place?
9084736
If you're the guy who made that Pokemon fanfic called Brave New World, you rock! Please make a new chapter soon. It's brilliant and I love how every chapter tries to top the last.
Also, about the importance of immigrants to America, you're right. But missing one important thing.
Immigrants founded America. And over time, they started being Americans. A cohesive American culture created itself out of all the different similar yet different cultures clashing. People travelled from across the land, far and wide, to pursue the American dream. And then, it still allowed immigrants to enter, and it was okay with that. Because the immigrants were willing to assimilate into American culture and act American, or at least, American enough. And when a grumpy old loser here or there didn't feel like acting American and leaving behind his country's old rivalries and grudges, that was fine, because it was never that big a deal.
Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. I'm just putting this here to provide some humor, because some serious stuff's coming.
The muslim rapefugees being imported from the middle east and into the western world en masse have no interest in embracing our culture or following our ways of life or respecting our western values like "Rape is bad" and "Beating your wife is bad" and "Slavery is bad, that's why we were the first race to say no to slavery" and "Freedom of religion is good" and "It's okay to be Atheist". You've seen them march down the streets with signs that say stuff like "We will kill you all" and "Freedom can go to hell, we want Just Islam", right? You've seen the messes the islamic invasion of unskilled illiterate violent barbarians has made in european countries, right? You've seen what they do to gay people in islamic countries, right? The radical ones throw gay people off rooftops, the moderate ones stand in the streets and cheer, and then tell the cops the gay person jumped and it'd be Islamophobic to say otherwise. Their cultures are not compatible with western culture. The western world allows women to walk down the street wearing pretty much whatever they want, but the islamic world says women must cover themselves or have acid splashed in their face. The western world says beating your wife is wrong and men who beat women are worse than scum, but the islamic world says the quaran says you can beat your wife so it's A-OK. The western world says killing your own daughter for getting raped is wrong, but the islamic world says doing that makes you a "cool" "badass" who has "reclaimed your family honour". They don't want to go to the western world to partake in its success, they want to go to the western world to live parasitically off it while committing criminal acts and enforcing their own "Old-fashioned" culture wherever they are allowed to.
If it's alright to call Christianity a bit silly over how the bible has a bit where the prose says "And there she lusted after horse penis", and if it's alright to call Mormonism a bit strange for having instructions on how to Doomsday Prep effectively, then it's alright to call Islam an evil religion for having clear instructions on how to lie, kill, play the victim, deflect criticism, shame critics, and slowly take over an area from the inside while carrying out acts of terror or covering the asses of those who do until you can finally bring about Sharia Law and start taxing non-muslims.
But moving on from that and focusing on America...
Basically, there are two kinds of Mexicans who want to start a new life in America. Immigrants, who want to pursue economic opportunities in America, because it has a better economy than Mexico and a comparatively freer market. They're good, hard-working and honest people who want a better life their old country could never give them. And Gimmiegrants, who want to illegally hop over the border, live here as illegal immigrants, get free benefits for life, and get pandered to by liberal politicians who are trying to make illegal immigrant criminals their new voter base, now that "Too many" black people are waking up and choosing to #walkaway from the race-baiting party of anti-white racism for their liking. They're just here for the easy life.
You know those people who yell "No human being is illegal! ICE agents must die! They're racist sexist bigots and Drumpf is Literally Hitler!" loudly? Yeah, they're as dumb now as they were when they said Pokemon is sexist and transphobic and should be banned because the game asks whether you're a boy or girl at the start and doesn't have an Other option. There far are harsher penalties for Americans sneaking across the border and getting caught trying to vote in Mexican elections than there are for Mexicans who sneak across the border and get caught trying to vote in American elections. If you get caught sneaking across the border and you brought your kids with you, you'll still be arrested, and if you don't want to be separated from your kids, you shouldn't take them with you when you commit crimes. Those tents near the mexican borders aren't "Literal anti-mexican gas chambers" or "Literal internment camps", they're orphanage-like camps set up to house the kids while they try and find a family member back in Mexico to take the kids back. Yes, the problems bad enough to necessitate these camps, and those camps are nicer places than most American orphanages. Fun trivia, a surprisingly high number of the border-hopper kids don't even belong to the border hoppers! It is INCREDIBLY easy to lie your way through the American-Mexican border and get into America, the only ones who don't do that are the ones who know they'd be turned away at the border for being violent criminals, rapists, cartel members, and so on. And the ones who could make it through the border but instead want to leapfrog over the other legal immigrants and get benefits before the legal immigrants, making them wait longer for their shit to be processed.
And as a bonus, the illegal immigrants who need/want MORE money than what the government just gives them for being here... They can't get honest jobs. They don't have social security numbers. So they have to get secret under-the-table jobs that pay less and are typically less safe. They are exploited by corrupt big business owners who know it's cheaper to employ fifty illegals who CAN'T complain at half pay each than it is to employ fifty legals who could sue you if something broke and injured them. This means jobs that should go to honest hard-working American citizens get taken up by cheaper-to-pay illegal immigrants instead. Some business owners even threaten to report any illegal immigrants who refuse to work unpaid overtime. They just do that, because they know these criminals don't want to draw attention to themselves if they aren't in an area where they can get away with loudly yelling "I'm an Illegal Immigrant and I'm proud, fuck America!".
Illegal immigration is harming America. Illegal immigrants, and their kids, are being treated better than American citizens and legal immigrants who want to become american citizens. Trump's new "Arrest the criminals sneaking across our border even if they have kids and send the kids back, also check if the kids are actually theirs" protocol only seems strange because for years, the protocol was "If they have kids, let them in. If they say they're fleeing gangs, let them in. And if you catch them crossing the border, send them back without arresting them, so they can try and cross the border illegally again later that week".
Here's an infographic that explains the issue so simply, even the dishonest guy trying to get you to dismiss me and what I have to say just for believing things the liberal talk shows he watches said not to believe... could understand it if he clicked it. I'd open the image in a new tab and make it easier to read, this site shrinks it if it's posted regularly.
https://i.imgur.com/SXYhpjj.png
i.imgur.com/SXYhpjj.png
Gonna say something but as I find both the story hilarious but also very much sad. I've worked for and met the man you based the Prime Minister on. And while odd he is a loyal son of a bitch to his employees. He would never fire someone because they were slow at a job or if they talked to him.
9067217
Some people just can't let other people enjoy nice things, like this story for example. *facepalms and sighs*
9547964
There is a reason it is advised never to discuss politics or religion when meeting your significant others family. These days it seems politics have become by far the more toxic of the two for most people.
9547985
Am I the only one here who loves how comments on FiMFiction on mobile are layered so satisfyingly?
9554872
Couldn’t say. I do my reading on a tablet personally.
I see what you did there
I'm worried Meyer and Raven are losing some genre savviness. They should have been worried that if Twilight met Orangeglow in person she'd immediately fall blissfully and blindly in love.
Meh. Last Equestrian election I voted for the Drunk Sex Party. (See Sporktacle's works.)
Ohhhhhhh he is pony Donald trump.
Wait, so that picture isn't from the comics?
It's M level of bigotry, because such people cause me want to bang my head until it passes out.
9091497
Orangeglow is a little more a Victorian era "noble"(or early 1910 american functioneer with penchant of imitating nobles) than a modern person.