This story is a sequel to Shatter Realm Chronicles
It’s been nine years since the three main princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence disappeared from Equestria. This caused chaos in two of the Kingdoms in Equestria: The Crystal Empire and Equestria itself. In the Crystal Empire, Prince Shining Armor tried his best to raise his only daughters, Princess Flurry Heart, like his wife, Princess Cadence would have wanted. (But trying to apply the rules of a unicorn, to that of a created alicorn, ends with a mild success.) Meanwhile back in Equestria, hope for a better future for pony kind met with more success as Princess Celestia’s three royal foals stepped up and seized control of their Mother’s and Aunt’s Crowns of Equestria.
Amidst the ongoing war with the Crystal Empire, which is known as the Crystal War, a strange energy fluctuation started to materialize within the Canterlot Grand Royal Palace that no Field Scientist could explain. Fluctuations were isolated to the private royal living area of the Palace which is the home of the current ruling royal family. With the Grand Princess of the Sun, Aurora Silverlight, and her siblings busy with the Crystal War, the job of investigating these strange fluctuation fell to Princess Alysia Ara Silverlight the oldest daughter of the Grand Prince of the Moon Somnus Silverlight. As Princess Alysia was about to pinpoint the strange anomalous energy it stopped and no other reading was received. She closed investigation into the strange energy and filed it as an unknown Solar Guard case file.
Two years to the day that Princess Alysia closed the case into the strange energy readings, it reappeared in the Grand Royal Palace once again. But this time, the strange anomalous energy was emanating from two unoccupied and sealed bed chambers located in the older part of the private royal living area of the palace. The first bed chamber that emanated the anomalous energy belonged to Princess Alysia’s Grandmother, Princess Celestia Silverlight and mother to the royal foals. The second bed chamber belongs to Princess Alysia’s Great Aunt, Princess Luna Silverlight and aunt to the royal foals. They are two of the three princesses that disappeared nine years ago.
Slowly, the eyes of these missing Princesses opened up and awakened in a very different world from the old world they remembered. From a world of high-tech machines and messages that would take several months to arrive, now only takes a moment. From a world where two-legged ponies drove crystal powered automobiles across Equestria and worked for several huge corporations that held within their coffer an amount of bits equal to the Royal Treasury of Equestria. In this world the three main princesses are legends of Equestria’s past who ruled till they disappeared. One of the most beloved legendary Princesses was Princess Celestia Silverlight who gave birth to the current ruling royal family, her beloved Royal foals.
Oof. Your story description is a story unto itself. You should probably write all that as part of the story itself, merging elements of it into scenes so readers get to live through it, rather than getting it dumped on them before the story.
You could do something like:
I'd suggest using your own wording, because that'll be the best way to capture the information and feeling that you want.
Very true Shachza.....but it does get people attention.
And that my main goal....I just want people to take a look at my story if they like that great...if not oh well.
but thank you for the comment.
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8547161
sorry about that
8540244
Very true Shachza.....but it does get people attention.
And that my main goal....I just want people to take a look at my story if they like that great...if not oh well.
but thank you for the comment.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213901/my-little-reviews-feedback/thread/446081/a-review-the-return-of-the-sun-and-moon
Your review is up! Sorry about the long wait. I hope this review helps you. :)
10403908
Thank you for the review of the Return of the sun and moon Queenchrysalisforever. I agree with you it could have been longer. At the time I wrote it I was not think of make it longer story. I just want to get the my world out and my altered timeline. yeah it need work a lot of work. Since write that story I have improved my style. But still the really reason I want it reviewed was to try and figure out why reader like it, That question has not been answered. I am going to chalk in up to I'll never real know why.