Need To Know
P-shing!
The too-familiar flash and sound heralded my arrival. But they barely registered. I knew only one thing: the pain was gone.
The agony, the tearing burning scratching my fur from skin and my skin from my body and then my soul-
It was gone.
In its place was exhaustion like I hadn't known in a long time. I felt my legs give out, and I fell to the cold floor. My eyes fluttered open.
I was in Canterlot.
I was in the banquet hall, just inside the doors, and there were other ponies there. Nobles, I recalled, and visiting dignitaries. Gathered around the table, waiting for me. All their faces looked familiar, but strange.
My eyes locked onto the pony at the table's head.
Celestia.
Her own eyes were wide with shock, her mouth open in a strangled gasp. Her gaze flicked to the left and right, to the other ponies, to something on the floor I instinctively did not look at. Something in her eyes... it wasn't right.
She knows, I realized. She knows... she's always known...
Burning returned to me, in my gut. A stinging swarm of insects called anger rose up and stabbed at my stomach. I swallowed, my face contorting. The edges of what I could see were narrowing. Blackening.
With my last energy, I let the swarm out of my mouth in one harsh word:
“Why?”
I opened my eyes again, and saw familiar curtains. It was my old room in the palace. I'd been placed in the bed.
The edges of my eyes crackled. My lids felt heavy, my lashes too thick. I tried to raise a hoof to wipe the grit away, and was surprised at how weak I felt. Brittle.
It wasn't just my eyes. The corners of my mouth were caked with unfortunate drool. My tongue was a fat snake pressed against my teeth, which felt loose. A puff of breathe drifted up, and back down into my nostrils. I almost gagged at the stench.
Slowly, I rolled over.
A pony sat beside my bed. A pony with white fur, wearing a golden crown and other assorted jewelry. “Hello, Twilight,” Celestia said.
The coldness of her tone was startling. I tried to remember a time I'd heard her speak that way- I couldn't.
“H-how long-”
“You have been asleep for nearly 68 hours.” I swallowed. Almost three days- no wonder I was in such horrible shape.
Celestia got up and paced alongside the bed. “The doctors say you over-exerted yourself magically, more so than anything they have encountered before. Though I suppose,” she muttered, “You would have had to.”
“What do you mean?”
Celestia looked up at me, sharply. “How much do you remember?”
How much did I-
Did I remember...
I remembered.
The flash. The darkness. Somewhere different than where I was supposed to be. The sudden shifting of the world. And below, me. A me. And more mes. And blood, writing on the walls. And then the pain...
“Everything,” I croaked.
Her expression softened slightly. “I am sorry,” she said. “No doubt it was an unpleasant experience.”
Yes, it was.
I thought about my escape, all that it took. A flash of rage boiled up as I remembered my last thoughts before passing out. “Y- you know what I saw,” I accused. “You know what that spell does!”
She kept pacing. She couldn't even look at me. “Yes.”
I forced myself to sit up. I had to push myself back, so I leaned against the headboard. “Why?” I asked. “Why is- why does it- and you... Why use it? Why-” I choked. My voice failed me for a minute, and I bit the inside of my cheek. Muscles all over my body curled on themselves, and I fought to keep from screaming. Finally, quietly, I said, “Why teach it to me?”
Celestia stopped. Her head bowed, and I heard her breathe. Slowly. In and out. Then-
“They have cleaned the remains of your clone off the floor. The witnesses seem to be mostly all right, as most have no understanding of what transpired. Those few of greater sensitivity have been referred to competent therapists. Soon, this will be forgotten. The dinner rescheduled, life will continue on.” She paused. “But for you and I, it will not be quite so easy.”
Celestia turned away and trotted towards the door. “You are hereby confined to these quarters, until such time as I say otherwise.”
“Pardon?”
“Any attempt to leave will be met with force. I cannot stop you from using other, more mystical means to move yourself-” My breath hitched as I realized she was talking about teleporting- “But I sense you will not do so.”
Princess Celestia opened the door, and walked out. She didn't look back. She didn't say anything to comfort me, or lessen my discomfort. She was gone.
“Celestia?” There was no response. “Celestia!” I called. Then louder. “Celestia! Tell me why! Please, tell me! Tell me why! Celestia! Celestia!”
Hours passed. A guard entered the room and dropped off a bag with a toothbrush and paste, and also a bucket. I tried getting out of bed, but I was still too weak.
Another hour, and I was brought a meal. Soup. I was spoon-fed like a foal.
The guard was silent the entire time. I tried asking him questions- mundane things, about the soup, about his home.
He said nothing.
Finally, I asked him, “Can I see the princess?”
He glanced at me, then ever so slightly shook his head.
I threw my hooves up. “But I have to! There are things I need to understand, questions that need answers! After everything I saw-”
I broke off. He had gotten up and was leaving. With the soup.
“Hey!” I complained.
“I'm sorry, your highness,” he said, “But Princess Celestia told me to leave if you tried to talk about... whatever happened to you.” He bowed out of the room.
For a moment, I watched the door. It was unyielding to my gaze. I sighed, and lay down. I had to find out the truth. I owed it to myself.
To all my selves.
The nurse tapped my leg. Reflexively, it kicked. She took my temperature. Checked my ears. Ran her hoof over my wings. All in silence.
Finally, she stepped back.
“Try and walk,” she said.
I took a breath. Two more days of recovery later. I learned my lesson after the first night and kept my mouth shut. When a guard- a different guard- brought me breakfast, the only thing I told him was that I was still hungry. After that, I was given more food. At every meal.
Celestia was upset, that much was obvious. I didn't fully get it- she knew about the spell, and what it did, and yet she allowed it. Propagated it. And now she was upset that I had thwarted its side effects and come back. She was upset that I was looking for answers.
But she was apparently concerned enough for my well being that she was okay giving me extra food.
It allowed me to get my strength back; I no longer felt as tired. I was ready to do as the nurse asked.
Slowly, I slid off the side of the bed. My hooves plunked into a plush throw rug. My weight settled on them.
For a scary moment, my knees wobbled. But then they held. I sighed in relief.
The nurse only nodded. “You seem to be doing just fine,” she said. “Another day or so of rest and you'll be back to your old self.”
A hissing chuckle escaped my mouth. My old self. How ironic.
She glanced at me, but made no comment. Picking up a clipboard, the nurse checked off some boxes and scribbled a note. It was only then that it finally registered- she was a unicorn.
“Do you teleport?” I blurted.
The nurse paused in her writing. “Once,” she said after a moment, “For an emergency. I felt strange afterwards, though, so I haven't since.”
I let out a large breath. “I'm sorry,” I muttered. “I'm so sorry.”
“What?”
“Er- nothing,” I said hastily, remembering the guard. “So I'm healthy? I can leave?”
“I'll pass on a report to the princess,” she said. “By the time it makes it through the levels of bureaucracy, you should be fit to go.”
With that pronouncement, my nurse left me. I stood next to the bed, swaying ever so slightly. I thought about walking over to the door and trying to leave, too. I thought about opening the window, and flying back to Ponyville.
Instead, I wobbled horseshoes around the room for a few minutes, then got back in bed. One more day of rest, I promised myself. Then, answers.
It was late afternoon. I was devouring a sandwich delivered by yet another guard, and searching the shelves of the room for a book of sufficient interest. That's when the doors creaked open.
They swung open completely, and standing on the other side was Celestia. “Come,” she said. “Let's take a walk.”
I followed her out in the corridor. I wanted to berate her, bombard her with questions. Mostly the same question, over and over. But instead, I stayed quiet.
After a bit, we reached the Hall of Stained Glass. The windows told the history of Equestria in colorful shards. Not all of it was good. But nowhere did it show anything like what was now inside my head.
Celestia came to a stop in front of a familiar display. Six ponies- myself, and my friends- defeating a mish-mashed creature with the Elements of Harmony. I stopped, too. I stared at the image, remembering a much simpler time.
“I am truly sorry,” Celestia said suddenly. “I know that I haven't been easy on you these past few days. I've treated you like a prisoner.”
“Yes, you have.” I saw no reason to sugarcoat the situation.
She winced. “In truth, I haven't been sure how to act. What you've been through- it's like nothing that has happened before.”
“But you know.”
“Yes.”
I waited for more, but nothing came. Her eyes remained locked on the window. “How?” It wasn't the question I most wanted answered, but it would serve. If she told me the truth.
After another minute, Celestia sighed. “Twilight,” she asked, “What do you know about the teleportation spell?”
“Besides the horrible things I learned this week?” Her mouth twitched, like she wanted to smile at my sarcasm. But she didn't. “Not much,” I admitted.
“And for good reason. Much of the spell's history has been... censored, for lack of a better term.” Celestia took a deep breath. “The original creator of the spell was a mage named Noteweaver.”
I thought back to my old studies. “I've never heard of him...”
“As I said, censored. Though you may know his birth name- Tuner Rosin?”
“Sorry, no.”
“He invented Equestria's first fiddle. I imagine your friend Applejack would know him.” Another hint of a smile.
“Probably,” I admitted. “So he was a musician? There's a lot of correlation between music and magic.”
“Indeed. Noteweaver was among the first to realize this, some eighteen hundred years ago. Yes, Twilight, I am that old.” I blushed. Celestia had seen the question on my face. She continued, “He saw the world in a different way than most ponies. It allowed him to uncover a secret no one else could- the secret of how to move matter from one place to another, instantly.”
“So you were there when the spell was first created,” I reasoned. “You've known what it does from the very beginning.”
“Yes and no.” Celestia finally turned away from the glass draconequs. “Noteweaver's spell is not the spell you know. His spell was far simpler- merely displacing a pony from this world for a split second, before returning them in a different place. The things that you witnessed... they did not exist.”
I frowned. “So then... the spell was changed. Why?” I asked again. “Why would anyone create a spell that could do... that?”
Celestia's breath rattled. The multi-colored light shining through the panes made lines across her regal face. For once, she truly seemed old. “One thousand years ago and more, many dangers threatened Equestria. My sister and I, with the aid of Starswirl the Bearded, confronted each, and made the land safe to live in. We brought peace... again.”
I sensed that I shouldn't speak. Her eyes were as glassy as the window. She wasn't looking at it anymore- she was looking at the past.
“Once upon a time, my sister and I were not the rulers of Equestria. We were alicorns, true, but we were no different from the other ponies. We lived, we worked, we laughed, with them. Then came the winter- the eternal winter, that the pegasi could not stop. We were forced to leave our homes, and travel to a new land. This land,” she said. “It was here that the magics of friendship and harmony were discovered, and the Windigos destroyed. But my sister and I wondered- where did they come from? No pony knew.
“Many years later, Tirek and Scorpan arrived. They told tales of lands from the far south, where beasts unlike anything seen in Equestria roamed. Horrible chimeras of every shape and size. It wasn't long before those beasts wandered north. The Bugbear,” she said pointedly. “The manticore. The cockatrice. They were plagues on our borders. We did our best to repel them.
“And then the ruler of the Crystal Empire became a tyrant- cursed with shadows in his heart. My sister and I banished his essence to the frozen north.
“And then Discord appeared. A being of pure chaos, so powerful he nearly destroyed our world without trying. So we encased him in stone.
“And then-” Celestia broke off. “And then Luna became Nightmare Moon. And I banished her.” I almost gasped when I saw it- the single tear fall. I had never seen Celestia cry. “I thought it would be better, after all these years... but it still hurts. Knowing that... that it could've been stopped.”
“What-”
Celestia went on. “And then, the Everfree Forest grew. There had always been a forest around our castle, but now it became wild and untamed. The chimera beasts made themselves at home. The normal creatures fled. And so did I. I fled here, to Canterlot, and created a new castle.
“But that castle was not this castle. The first palace was destroyed, during a battle with the monster known as Grogar.”
I started. “But- that's just a story. A myth for children!”
“No,” Celestia whispered. “Grogar was all too real. He tried to use the Elements of Harmony for dark magic- he planned to destroy every single pony in this world. He is the reason I locked the Elements away, and passed them into myth and legend.”
I shuddered. “Understandable, I suppose. But I don't understand- what does all of this have to do with the teleportation spell? A lot of bad things have happened in Equestria, but how does that fit with what I've just been through?”
Celestia hesitated. “It... It's unnatural. Everything in Equestria's past, is unnatural. And so is the spell,” she said. “Moving matter that way? It should not be possible.”
“But is was- is.”
“Unfortunately, yes. Twilight,” Celestia emphasized, “Every use of the original teleportation spell created more and more chaos. And chaos, like harmony, is magic. After a while, after so many teleports, that magic had consequences. It created something... many somethings.”
Suddenly I felt sick. Things began to shift into place- pieces of a picture horrible enough that I wanted to not think about it. “All the dangers we've faced... They've all been caused by that spell?”
Celestia nodded. “Starswirl realized after we defeated Grogar- it was a cycle. Teleportation creates chaos magic. That magic spawns new life. That life is chaotic, and tries to destroy the peace in Equestria. Always. So we destroy it. And then the magic begins to build again...
“But we couldn't simply ban the spell. It was too useful, to widespread. We needed to simply change the spell.”
“So you-”
“Yes,” she said simply. “We couldn't risk another monster rising. We altered the teleportation spell to contain the chaos energies outside of Equestria. That is why there are pockets of space inside the void. But the energies can only be contained by a living being. Something had to remain behind, each time.
“But that would condemn it to death. And over time, the death would accumulate. Any being who teleported would see, and be horrified. So the being who came into the pocket could not leave.
“In the end, it was perfect- one pony goes into the pocket. The spell creates a duplicate, with all the memories of the original at the time of casting. The original's magic transfers to the duplicate, and the original becomes a vessel for the chaos magic created. When they die, the magic dies with them. The duplicate returns to the real world, indistinguishable from the original.”
I felt that flash of anger again. “But what about the original?” I spat. “What about all the pain and suffering they go through, every time?”
“The original never came back,” Celestia said, almost to herself. “No memories of the horrors returned to Equestria. Until now.” She tensed. “I was almost able to forget...”
She turned and looked at me. “I know you're angry, Twilight. But I also know you listen to logic, and reason. So listen when I say: it is necessary. Because if the chaos of teleportation were ever unleashed into Equestria again, it would create something even worse than Grogar. I know that you and your friends are resourceful. I do not doubt that you could defeat such a thing. But at what cost? Our responsibility is to all of Equestria. The suffering that any of our past selves endure is nothing compared to the guilt we would carry if we allowed the ponies under our care to suffer instead.”
“But some of them are suffering!” I protested. “Any pony can learn that spell, and then they'll- they'll-” I was shaking, I realized. I forced myself to be calm. “My nurse even teleported once,” I murmured.
Celestia shook her head. “There is no easy answer. There never is. And this one was harder than most, even for me. But I see no better way forward.”
Unfortunately, neither did I. Not yet. Teleportation was a large part of Equestria. It couldn't be simply taken away. And she was right- we couldn't allow chaos magic to create another monster, not if we could help it. Still...
“I'm going to find a way,” I decided. Celestia looked at me, one eyebrow raised. “I'm going to make a new spell. One that doesn't have negative side effects. I don't care if it takes me another thousand years, my whole life! I'll find it.”
Finally, she smiled. Celestia regarded me with the same tender care I remembered from when I was a filly. “If anypony can, it's you. After all,” she chuckled, “You escaped the pocket world. Something I would have thought impossible.”
“It wasn't just me,” I said automatically. “It was... another me. All the other mes. They figured it out.”
“Ah. Of course...”
There was a moment of silence as we both thought about them. I thought about one, in particular. The last one. She might have killed herself, getting me out of there. I thought about the driven look in her eyes. The same as my own.
“Am I still Twilight?”
“What's that?” Celestia looked at me, surprised.
“Am I still Twilight?” I asked again. “I have all the memories of Princess Twilight Sparkle. But am I her? I was created the previous time a pony who looked exactly like me and had my memories decided to teleport. Am I... Am I Twilight? Or am I somepony new?”
“You are you, Twilight.”
“But... but I haven't existed! I was created, and so were all the others before me. The only real Twilight was a filly, the first one to teleport! And she's long dead. So what am I?”
Celestia grabbed my chin. “Twilight- you are you. Every one of them was you. They might have become something else after you became you. But while they were here, they were you. And you are them. It's all the same. The you that is here now is the real Princess Twilight Sparkle. Just as I am the real Princess Celestia. We have all the memories of our previous selves, and we have the memories that we have created. We are us.” She pulled me into a hug, and I did not resist. It was exactly as I remembered- warm, and safe. I relaxed.
“I am Twilight,” I murmured. “I am Twilight.”
Yes. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle. Some day, I may not be. An accident, a moment of forgetfulness, or just pure bad luck, and I might become another vessel in a pocket world. There would be a new Twilight, but she would be the same as the old one. But I was Twilight now.
And that was all that mattered.
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sorry, this just doesn't fit at all well with the rest of this series of stories
8381689
Fair enough. But I'd argue that's the point. Unlike most of the other blink stories, this one takes place only in Equestria, and has no gore. It's more existential fears and answering a question I'd been asking myself for a looking time about why the spell does what it does. The ending is also more bittersweet than true downer ending. All the same, ocalhoun was okay with it when he previewed it, and I'm happy too. Thanks for reading!
none of that was the issue I had with it. I found the answer unsatisfying and unlikely
I liked this, it fit your style of fitting in between the cracks and answering the unconsidered. Truth be told I was curious what happened to the Twilight that escaped, everyone that6 answered that sort of glossed over the time between when she was freed and when she created the new spell. Regardless, thank you for writing another entry. It was short, but sweet.
8381811
Now I'm curious. Is it because the actions I describe seem out of character for Celestia in your eyes? Or is it because you don't like linking every major catastrophe in equestria's history to one source? or is it something else?
8381839
Well thank you for reading!
I really like this statement. I may use it somewhere.
8381856
Well, regardless of my writing ability at 4 in the morning, I'm good at wordplay when i try.
8381848
OOC for Celestia, trying to link everything together and trying to justify the nature of the teleportation spell, plus you have to add an additional complication to the story to justify it, in making the teleportation spell well known and wide spread, when really it seems very far from it within the show
8381898
I respect your opinion. But for that last bit- that went out the window for me when Trixie learned it.
8381925
from a Unicorn who is close match powerwise to an Alicorn, maybe it doesn't take much power, but it doesn't seem well known
8381942
Took me a moment [I think you wanted that first comma to be a period] but I get'cha.
I know I'm not likely to change your opinion, but I have one final counter argument: our main locations are Ponyville and Canterlot. The first has very few unicorns as permanent residents. The other, we've mostly only seen the "elites" who, with the exception of Fancy Pants, seem unwilling to learn how to wipe their own ass, let alone a spell like this. Other locations either have the same problem as Ponyville, or we haven't visited, or we haven't stayed in them long enough to see much of their unicorn population. With that, I think there's room for any number of head canons regarding the usage of the spell.
8381978
considering who used the spell until Trixie and the fact that one of Trixie's death defying magic tricks involved it, I have this feeling it's reputation makes it more of a challenge than the reality
I like this. I think it's a good companion to some of the stories that pick up after Blinking.
I like it far more than Detritus, the Luna in it just creep me out.
8381848
Out of character Celestia, really dumb reason for the teleport bubble thingy, vast overestimation of Celestia's age.
Like the other stories, vast overestimation of the length of time Twilight has been teleporting- it's always been implied before with her early general lack of skill with it that she learned it when Nightmare Moon did it.
Also it assumes a ridiculous level of wide-spread. It is only performed by four unicorns in the entire series. All of whom have Magic talent-marks.
The scary part is that Celestia knows. But she herself has used the spell since she learned.
The answer to "why" was unsatisfying for the simple reason that if teleportation really is as popular as Celestia says, then literally purging everyone who has any knowledge of the spell and burning every book that mentions it would have been kinder than what she did... I dont know if it's just me, but if literally The Final Solution is kinder than what Celestia chooses to do? That's a poorly thought out plot contrivance.
I see an easy answer. Stop teleporting. Don't you dare say it's too convenient; the right answers rarely are. You monster.
Celestia became the very thing she wished to stop, a bringer of chaos, death and destruction. Her solution to the problem of tp was mass murder over inconvenience.
10578646
But how many creatures would listen? There would be so many that would ignore the law simply because of the convenience. Many more would probably question it publicly and even say that Celestia was crazy for outlawing it because of something that, again, in one iteration they have no way of verifying, and in another... well basically, in either case they couldn't verify it. Then it would become a whole political thing, and... ahh, that whole idea just becomes a big mess.
10864102
*shrug*
If they don't believe they don't believe. To me the moraly right answer doesn't change; let the masses know, pull the technique from official schools, let new great minds try to find an alternative. By telling them you have done (in my mind) an objectively good thing and by pulling support you are taking the most possible measures you can take. They have the information to now make an informed decision and any consequences are their's to shoulder. (You kinda equals Twilight but also you, the poster, if you were the unicorn protagonist in the story)
Which is why i call Celestia a monster; she knew better and until now you (we) did not. But now we know and can make an informed decision like adults on what is right and wrong about teleporting. Given that other people are adults we cannot pick for them but if i had a school teleport would officially be off the list of acceptable spells.
.....
I can't think of anything else to add. The rest of your points pale in comparison.
9927822
Who says she uses the new spell as opposed to the old spell?
10968501
Why would she teach the old spell if she knew what it did and had a alternative?
10968573
Because the old spell releases chaos into the realm. I'd figure she'd either have some way to contain her own, OR rationalize that the amount that she herself made was minor assuming she doesn't teleport tremendously often. I mean when you have seen the distances and how she teleports in the show, it does look kind of different.
She wouldn't teach the old spell to others, only use it herself.
What Celestia did was like sweeping the dirt under a rug and then calling the floor clean; the suffering she wanted to stop still happened it was just somewhere she didn't have to see. Out of sight, out of mind. She even explicitly said that she had almost forgotten it.
Well this was dark. Good job.
Many Griffons go their entire lives without using magic. If Griffons can manage it, why not Ponies?
Celestia is undeniably evil in this timeline.
So in order to prevent a finite amount of suffering, Celestia created an exponentially larger amount. She is more evil than anything that any amount of chaos magic could ever create. If there is one thing I can be glad about, it's that she will meet the fate she deserves every single time she teleports.
I genuinely can't tell if this story is meant to be taken seriously. The logic and characterization involved from start to finish is so utterly terrible that I was sighing and rolling my eyes by the end.
I dunno if your intention was to make Celestia look like a good guy but I know it utterly failed