My Little Pokemon

by Alabenson

Valley of the Lost Baltoys

“Wheee!” Pinkie Pie cheered as she raced down the cliffside path at a fairly distressing speed.

“Part of me feels like we should try telling her to slow down so she doesn’t hurt herself, but the rest of me doubts it’d accomplish anything,” Derek said as Fluttershy nodded sagely.

“That’s Pinkie Pie. She always manages to stay safe somehow, though. Well, almost always, there was that one time she nearly got caught in a rock slide and had to be saved by Maud, but things like that really don’t happen that often.” Derek stared at Fluttershy for a few moments, looking as though he wanted to say something, before finally simply shaking his head.

“So, anyway, given the directing we’re heading in, we’re probably going to reach the Parapsychology Institute not too long from now,” Derek said in an effort to move the topic away from Pinkie Pie’s antics.

“The what?”

“It’s some group of scientists who study ‘unexplained phenomena’. Basically, psychic powers, that sort of thing. They’re also one of the island’s gyms, so they have that going for them. Something tells me meeting Pinkie Pie is going to be an experience for them.”

“Hey! Hey! Fluttershy, Derek! Look! I found something!” Fluttershy and Derek both looked up to see Pinkie Pie standing some distance away near a bend in the path.

“What is it?” Fluttershy called back as she and Derek hurried over. As they came closer, they found Pinkie pointing towards a fork branching off the main path they had been following. Strangely, the side path appeared heavily overgrown with brush, to the point that it would likely have been near-impossible to spot had Pinkie Pie not pointed it out.

“Where do you think it leads?” Pinkie asked as she practically bounced up and down in excitement.

“I…actually, I’m not really sure,” Derek replied. “It looks like it heads down into the mountain, but I don’t think this path is on any maps.”

“Can we follow it to see where it goes? Pretty pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?” Pinkie asked eagerly, before becoming distracted by thoughts of whipped cream.

“Well, it does look like it heads downhill, which is the general direction we want to be headed, and I am kind of curious to see where it leads. On the other hand, thought, there’s really no guarantee it leads anywhere at all, so this could just wind up being a colossal waste of time. What do you think, Fluttershy?”

“I think Pinkie Pie’s already running down the path,” Fluttershy said. Sure enough, Derek turned to see that Pinkie Pie had already vanished down the newly uncovered pathway.

“…Has anyone ever considered putting a bell on her or something?”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash actually did try that once,” Fluttershy replied helpfully before cringing at the memory. “It didn’t turn out quite as well as we had hoped. I’m just glad Twilight was able to get the bell back eventually.”

“Are we entirely sure Pinkie isn’t secretly some elemental spirit of chaos or something?” Derek asked. Fluttershy actually took a moment to consider the question before responding.

“I’m…pretty sure she isn’t. Admittedly, she and Discord do have an awful lot in common, but I think if Pinkie really was a chaos spirit then Ponyville would probably be a lot more frosting-covered.” This time it was Derek’s turn to need a few moments to process before coming up with a reply.

“I have an idea. Why don’t we go chase after Pinkie Pie and I’ll pretend that all of that made sense.” Fluttershy nodded her head, and the pair rushed down the path after their friend. As the group disappeared down the path, however, a pair of figures slunk of the nearby shadows.

“Dude, are they headin’ down to where I think they’re headin’?” Ribcage asked.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly where they’re headed. I know the boss told us to get to Keystone pronto, but do you think we should, you know, do something?”

“Man, ya know I hate thinkin’! Why don’t we just do what we always do when we gotta deal with some fools tryin’ to mess with us?”

“What’s that?”

“We cause ‘em trouble and beat ‘em down! No thinkin’ required!”

*********

“I’m definitely starting to think we should have just stayed on the main path,” Derek said as he and Fluttershy continued to follow Pinkie Pie. The mysterious path had taken the trio into a narrow valley that twisted unnaturally into the mountainside. The valley walls stretched high enough that the sky had been reduced to a small sliver of blue, and the walls themselves were pockmarked with countless holes, each a little more than a food and a half across.

“It is kind of spooky, isn’t it?” Fluttershy agreed. “So, what do you think made all those holes? The look a bit like animal burrows, but I can’t think of any sort of critter that would like in a place like this.”

“There are a few Pokémon I can think of that might, but something about this place just feels…off. I don’t really know how to describe it,” Derek said. “If I wasn’t so creeped out, I’d probably be making a joke about the uncanny valley right about now.”

“Fluttershy! Derek! Look over here!” Pinkie Pie suddenly called out. “I think I see something in one of these holes!” Fluttershy and Derek hurried over to Pinkie, who was pointing excitedly at a hole that was roughly about eye-level. As they approached, they could see that a small figure was floating just inside the hole’s opening. While Fluttershy couldn’t make out any details through the shadows, she could see that the creature seemed to balance like a top on a point it had in lieu of feet, with long, ribbon-like arms protruding from its sides beneath a bulbous head.

“Huh, it looks like that’s a Baltoy,” Derek said. “It’s kind of unusual to find one in a place like this. Usually you see them in old ruins, cemeteries, places like that. I’ve heard they can be a real pain for archeologists, since if you get a bunch of them together,,,” Derek’s voice trailed off as he looked up at the myriad holes in the valley walls, the shadows in many of which had started to move. “Girls, I think we may want to start heading back. As in, right now.”

“How come?” Pinkie Pie asked as she watched the Baltoy start slowly spinning in place. “These don’t seem dangerous, what’s so-“ Before Pinkie could finish asking her question, she received her answer in the form of an ear-piercing screech that echoed out from seemingly every direction. Neither Pinkie nor Fluttershy needed any further encouragement to flee, but as they turned they saw that the path leading back out of the valley had started to ripple and churn like an angry sea.

“What’s going on?” Fluttershy wailed as she covered her ears in a vain attempt to block out the sound.

“It’s the Baltoy, they’re emitting some kind of psychic distortion,” Derek yelled back. “They must think we’re some kind of threat. We need to run and try and find some shelter until they calm down.”

“I don’t think we can go back the way we came, though,” Fluttershy replied. “We’ll have to try going deeper to the valley.” Faced with a lack of alternatives, the three friends raced along the twisting path as the Baltoy’s screeching continued to assault their ears. Just as they felt as though they wouldn’t be able to take any more of it, however, Pinkie Pie spotted a potential escape.

“Hey, I think I can see a cave up ahead!” The other two looked to see that the valley indeed terminated in a large, menacing cavern. As their immediate circumstances left little room to complain, the three friends barreled into the cave without the slightest bit of hesitation, driven by the continued screeching of the Baltoy.

“Alright, so eventually the Baltoy should calm down and stop screaming. Once that happens, we’ll just have to try rushing out of the valley as quickly as possible,” Derek said as the group stood around catching their breath.

“I think that’s probably for the best,” Fluttershy agreed. “I couldn’t really understand what they were saying, exactly, but they definitely seemed upset that we were here.”

“I guess they just must not like having guests,” Pinkie Pie said as she started pacing about the cavern. “At least it isn’t all screamy in here. Ooh, I know, we should play a game while we wait. How about twenty million questions? I’ll go first. I spy with my little eye something that begins with – oof!” Much to Fluttershy and Derek’s relief, Pinkie found herself interrupted as she tripped over something and fell to the ground.

“Pinkie, are you alright?” Fluttershy asked as she hurried over to her friend.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just caught my foot on this…hey, what is this?” Lying on the ground at Pinkie’s feet was a long, rope-like object that stretch across the floor. While at first glance it could have been mistaken for an odd rock formation, closer inspection revealed that it wasn’t actually attacked to the ground at all.

“Huh, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that looks like some kind of power cable,” Derek said.

“What would something like that be doing in a cave?” Fluttershy asked.

“Hmm, it sounds to me like we have a mystery on our hands,” Pinkie Pie said, somehow now sporting a bubble pipe and deerstalker hat. “In situations like these, there’s only one thing to do; search for clues!” Without waiting for a response, Pinkie Pie promptly began following the mystery cable deeper into the cave.

“We should probably follower her, shouldn’t we?” Fluttershy asked nervously as she looked down into the worrying darkness.

“Well, at the very least we should keep an eye on her so she doesn’t get into too much trouble. I wouldn’t be too worried, though. I’d seriously doubt there’s anything too dangerous in here. Besides, it’s not like there’s all that much else we can do until those Baltoy calm down. Unless, of course, you want to take Pinke up on playing twenty million questions.” After a brief weighing of exploring the dark, scary cave versus a bout of twenty million questions with Pinkie, Fluttershy hurried down into the cavern. The trio followed the mysterious cable for several minutes as it wound its way through the caverns, until they finally encountered something that left them with far more questions than answers.

“Huh, I wonder who put this wall here?” In defiance of all logic, the cable terminated at a wall of metal plates that blocked off the remainder of the cavern. While the surface of the wall was spotted with rust, it still looked quite sturdy.

“Alright, now I’m curious,” Derek said as she inspected the barrier. “It’s starting to look like somebody went to a lot of trouble to hide whatever’s in here, and I have a suspicion we should figure out why. The question now is how do we get past this wall?”

“Um, well, maybe there’s a secret door or something?” Fluttershy suggested, recalling all the half-remembered times Rainbow Dash had relayed all of the plots to the Daring Doo novels.

“Great idea, Fluttershy!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Now, if I were a secret door, where would I be hiding? Probably someplace extra secret-y.” Pinkie Pie promptly began crawling alongside the wall while Derek continued to inspect it as well. Fluttershy, meanwhile, simply stood back and watched. “Hey, what’s the matter? Don’t you wanna help look for the secret door too?”

“No, that’s alright,” Fluttershy replied. “These sorts of adventures really aren’t my sort of thing. Don’t worry about me, I’m happy just to have a chance to rest and catch my – eek!” As Fluttershy spoke, she had leaned back against a nearby stalagmite, only for it to abruptly move back. Simultaneously, a portion of the wall near the center pulled inwards an inch or so before sliding to one side, offering access to deeper inside.

“Wow, good work, Fluttershy!” Pinkie Pie cheered. “I would have never thought to check over there for a secret lever.”

“Thanks,” Fluttershy said as Derek helped her back to her feet. “So, does this mean we’re going to explore that dark, creepy secret chamber that could be filled with all sort of scary monsters?”

“Well, you can stay out here if you want to,” Derek said. “But, I definitely think this is something I, at least, need to look into. Whatever’s going on here, it could be something really serious.”

*********

“You know how I said this could be something really serious? I might have jumped the gun a little there,” Derek said as he, Pinkie and Fluttershy wandered through the halls beyond the strange metal wall. As it turned out, the area behind the hidden door appeared to have been abandoned for years, with nothing but dust and bare walls having been left behind.

“What do you think this place was?” Fluttershy asked, the lack of anything more frightening than a few dust bunnies having greatly calmed her nerves.

“It’s definitely too modern to be one of the island’s pre-League ruins, and I can’t really imagine anybody living in out here in the middle of nowhere. If I had to guess, maybe this place might have been a laboratory or research station of some kind? It’s not one of the League’s, though, and there aren’t too many other groups that could afford to build something like this in the first place.”

“So it is a mystery,” Pinkie Pie exclaimed happily. “Now we just need to search for clues. Ooh! Maybe they’re behind…this door!” Pinkie said as flung open a door to reveal yet another empty room. “Well, maybe not that door, but how about this one! Nope, that’s a bathroom. Maybe this one! No, nothing in here but a bunch of ominous-looking science stuff.”

“Wait, what?” Derek asked as he quickly moved to the latest door Pinkie had opened. Inside lay a massive, circular room, the walls of which were lined with computer equipment. The center of the room, however, was dominated by a massive set of upright, concentric rings of metal.

“This could be a clue, I think,” Fluttershy said as she peered into the room. “I mean, this is all…um…well, I’m not really sure what any of this is, exactly. But, it’s probably important.”

“You’re not kidding,” Derek said as he stared at the central device. “That thing is a wormhole generator.”

“Whoa. Those must be some really big worms,” Pinkie marveled. “I bet Applejack would hate to those in Sweet Apple Acres, unless they’re the type that good for dirt, then she might—”

“No, Pinkie, it’s not that kind of—” Derek took a deep breath to try and center himself before continuing. “The simplest way to put it is it makes portals to other worlds. At least, it does if it actually works. This thing looks like it’s been out of commission for a while, which makes absolutely no sense.”

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked as she brushed some dust off a nearby console.

“A wormhole generator isn’t exactly a simple thing to build. Or a cheap thing to build, for that matter. I can maybe think of a handful of groups outside of the league who might have been able to build this thing, but I can’t imagine any of them would just abandon it.”

“Do any of them begin with the letter ‘R’?” Pinkie Pie asked abruptly, much to Derek’s apparent discomfort.

“Pinkie, what makes you ask that?”

“It’s just that it looks like there are a whole lot of ‘R’s all over these computers and stuff,” Pinkie Pie said as she wiped away some of the dust from a nearby console, revealing a faded red ‘R’ on its front. “See?”

“Those don’t mean anythin’!” a frustratingly familiar voice suddenly yelled out. “That’s just, like a decorative R or somethin’. Ya got somethin’ against the letter R? Well, do ya?”

“You losers shouldn’t even be in here. This cave’s private property and stuff, so you’re trespassing. Goody-two-shoes chumps like you should scram and leave trespassing to professional troublemakers like us.”

“You guys again?” Pinkie Pie groaned as the group all turned to see Femur and Ribcage defiantly posing in the doorway.

“How did they get past all the Baltoy in the valley?” Fluttershy asked, more pondering to herself than anything else.

“What I’d like to know is why they’re so interested in our being in an old, abandoned laboratory,” Derek added pointedly.

“You must be trippin’, I don’t see no lab here!” Ribcage snapped. “This here’s just some regular cave. Bein’ so uncool must’ve given you, like, bad eyesight or somethin’.”

“Um, I’m pretty sure this isn’t just a regular cave,” Fluttershy said. “For one thing, most caves don’t have secret doors made of metal.”

“What, are you some kind of expert on caves now?” Femur demanded. “Besides, of course caves have got metal in them. Where do you think metal comes from? Mines, which are basically caves. Boom, checkmate.”

“Okay, but what about that thing?” Pinkie Pie asked as she pointed back towards the wormhole generator. “That’s not something you usually find in a cave.”

“What, that? That’s a stalactite,” Ribcage retorted. “Ya fools really don’t know anythin’ about caves, do ya?”

“Alright, you know what? I think we’re about done here,” Derek suddenly said as he threw his arms up in frustration. “I’m pretty sure we’ve seen everything there is to see here, and if these two idiots want to do…whatever it is they do in an abandoned laboratory—”

“We keep telling you, this is just some normal, regular cave!”

“—then at least here you’re not going to be bothering anyone else. Girls, do either of you have any objections?”

“It would be nice to be able to not have to make our Pokémon fight for a change,” Fluttershy said.

“Eh, I don’t really have the right streamers to throw a good ‘spooky abandoned laboratory’ party anyway,” Pinkie Pie added with a shrug.

“And there you have it. So, if you two would just move out of our way, we’ll leave you two to whatever it is you think you’re going to do here.”

“Forget that, we ain’t movin’ for nobody!” Ribcage snapped defiantly, catching Derek completely off guard. A few seconds of confused silence followed before Pinkie Pie spoke up.

“Uh, you guys know you’re blocking the only door, right? How’re we supposed to leave if you won’t let us through?”

“That’s your problem, dork,” Femur sneered. “Us Team Skull grunts never get out of anybody’s way. If there’s trouble to cause, then we’re going to cause it. Got it?”

“So, you want us to leave, and we want to leave, but you’re not going to move out of the way so that we can leave, because doing so would mean being cooperative, even though that means that we can’t leave like you want us to,” Derek said while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, that’s right! Now, are you losers gonna scram, or are we gonna half to beat ya down first?” Ribcage demanded.

“But you – but we -grrr!” Growling in frustration, Pinkie Pie pulled out one of her Poké Balls. “Okay, Toothy, it looks like we’re gonna have to do this the hard way!”

“You too, Quilava,” Fluttershy added with a sigh as she sent out her own Pokémon.

“So, you fools want to throw down? Alright, if a beating’s what you want then we’ll be happy to deliver! Go Weepinbell!”

“Yeah, if ya wanna throw down, then prepare to get buried! Go Golbat!”

“As much as watching you two get beaten would be entertaining, I do have one question before we all get started,” Derek suddenly said. “You said you’ll be happy to give us a beating if that’s what we want, but I thought Team Skull Grunts never did what anyone wants them to. Doesn’t that mean if we want a beating then you have to let us go?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s a good point!” Pinkie Pie agreed.

“No, because…uh…ya see…hold up a sec,” Ribcage grabbed Femur and pulled him into an impromptu huddle. “I hate to say it, bro, but I think he’s got us there. What’re we supposed to do?”

“Don’t worry, man, I know exactly how to handle this,” Femure assured his friend before turning back to the group. “What you fools don’t seem to get is that we’re not just any Team Skull Grunts, we’re the hardest and baddest boneheads there ever was. So, when it comes to causing trouble, we ignore all the rules, even our own. So get ready, because we’re about to wreck this lab - cave, I mean cave!” At that exact moment, one of the monitors near the grunts exploded, showering the pair in a cascade of sparks. “Uh…cave walls explode like that all the time around here, because of all the flint and stuff. Yeah, I bet you fools didn’t even know that.”

“And do they light up, too? Look!” Pinkie Pie pointed at the consoles lining the walls, which had somehow begun to flicker to life.

“That…that’s just, uh, phosphorous,” Ribcage stammered before turning to Femur. “What the heck, I thought they cut the power to this dump?”

“That’s what I heard, they said they shut everything down when they cleared out of here.” As the two grunts spoke, they both slowly started to back out of the room, only to simultaneously trip and fall backwards onto the floor. Looking down, it was immediately apparent what it was they had tripped on.

“Baltoy!”

“Hey, it’s one of those funny little Pokémon from the valley! But, what’s it doing all the way in here?” Pinkie Pie asked. Evern as she spoke, the sing-song cries of more Baltoy could be heard echoing from further down the hall.

“I think they’re saying they followed Femur and Ribcage, but it’s a little hard to tell,” Fluttershy said. “Something seems strange, though. The way they’re talking about this room, it doesn’t make any sense.” As Fluttershy tried to find the words to elaborate, the screens on several more consoles lit up before detonating.

“It’s probably all this equipment,” Derek said. “I’m betting they’re being drawn to the wormhole generator somehow. The bigger problem is that their psychic energy is causing all the machinery in here to overload,” Derek said.

“That…doesn’t sound good. We should leave, shouldn’t we?”

“But, what about – yeek!” Before Pinkie Pie could voice her complaints, both Derek and Fluttershy grabbed her by the arms and raced out of the mysterious complex, leaping over the prone grunts as they went. As the group ran, they could see dozens of Baltoy peeking out of the shadows in the hallways and empty rooms. The high-pitched cries of the myriad Baltoy pounded their ears as they rushed by, leaving their heads spinning by the time the reached the cavern itself.

“Good, I think we should be clear of whatever’s going on in there,” Derek said as the trio paused to catch their breath. “And, with all the Baltoy in there, that means that the valley is probably clear enough for us to get through.” Pinkie looked about ready to say something, but before she could she was interrupted by a series of tremors that seemed to work their way through her, one section of her body at a time.

“Whoo, I haven’t felt something like that in a long time,” Pinkie said as both Derek and Fluttershy looked on in concern. “Let’s see, it’s a little hard to tell, but I think that was the same sort of combo I felt right before Spike had that sneezing fit right next to where Trixie had stashed her inventory for her secret unlicensed fireworks stand.” Before Derek could even decide if he wanted context for that statement, a particularly loud explosion could be heard from inside the depths of the lab. The sound was quickly followed by massive clouds of black smoke bellowing out from the lab entrance along with a more solid object being launched out straight into Pinkie’s back. Thankfully, Pinkie’s backpack absorbed most of the impact, sending its contents flying in every direction.

“Pinkie Pie! Are you alright?” Fluttershy cried out as she rushed over to check on her friend.

“I’m fine, whatever that was, it wasn’t any worse than getting tackle-hugged by Pound Cake,” Pinkie Pie said as Fluttershy helped her back to her feet. “But, what was that any-whoa!” Almost as soon as Pinkie Pie stood back up, she stepped on one of her empty Poké Balls, which had fallen out of her backpack during the collision. Tripping on the ball, Pinkie Pie was sent toppling backwards back down to the floor, as the ball itself shot forwards, straight into the somewhat singed Baltoy that had been propelled into her by the explosion. Before anyone, least of all the Baltoy, could react, the Baltoy was engulfed in red light and pulled into the ball, which proceeded to wriggle about on the ground for a few moments before letting out the chime of a successful capture. “Huh, that was lucky,” Pinkie Pie said from her vantage point on the ground.

“We should probably hold off on marveling at your good luck until after we get out of here,” Derek said as he moved to help Pinkie gather up her things. “Between the smoke and the Baltoy that are still in there, I’d say the faster we put some distance between us and this cave the better.”

*********

“Okay, so on the plus side, we definitely kept those dorks from realizing they found one of the boss’ old labs, so that’s a total win for us,” Femur said as he and Ribcage sat outside the cave once Pinkie, Fluttershy and Derek had left the area. “What exactly was the big deal about this place, anyway? Seemed like it was just a bunch of old egghead stuff to me.”

“Yeah, but bosses are always big on that egghead junk,” Ribcage replied. “So, uh, what do ya think the boss is gonna do when he finds out that his lab got trashed?”

“No idea, but I do know what we’re going to tell him; nothing. If we don’t tell the boss we were here, then he’ll never know, and if he never knows, then he’ll never yell at us about it.”

Comments

[ANW]

Oh frick.
This isn't just Team Rocket.
It's Rainbow Rocket.

[invinible]

So, we are measuring things by food now. Huh?