Well it fulfilled my craving, but now I need more! More smut! We need more smut!

Surprisingly good end to this chapter and i was glad to see AJ actually joined the herd. Personally, i wouldn't mind a sequel or something similar along the lines later on. Keep up the good work either way.

Kinda wished we saw more of AJ and anon, but this was focused on RD and Anon, so It's fine...besides, the Herd's stuff during Dashie's pregnancy is what Side Stories or bonus chapters are for, should your muse start getting demanding

This is my opion of this story right here
Personally, i wouldn't mind a sequel or something similar along the lines later on. Keep up the good work either way.

I'd like to give a special shoutout to LucarioFan2066... he has provided a number of solid edits free of charge to make your reading experience better!

Um...wow...first time I've ever gotten a shout-out...thanks?

"Did you not get enough of a look last night?"

Not green.

"This again..." he rubbed his temples in frustration

Not green.

"So?" Anon asked with an upturned hand.

"Sooo, I haven't even really had my real 'first time' yet. It's different when you're crazy in heat!" Dash argued

Not green, followed by not blue.

"I said: I don't know!" Dash shouted, loudly

This is green, when it should be blue.

"I... *haha*... gues that'll *hahaha*... do for an 'I love you' Dash." Anon chortled, wiping tears from his eyes. "Don't worry, when it comes to 'romance-novel' level gestures... you'll always be in last place."

Not green.

A very tired and annoyed looking spike

Pretty sure names are supposed to be capitalised.

"This way please, sir." Spike said, with the air

I'm surprised there's no colour here; sure, this is his only line, but every other character has a colour - unless Spike's colour is black, which doesn't make much sense because he barely has any black on him. I guess a darker purple could be used, but...eh, whatever.

He saw an exasperated Twilight sparkle

Capitalisation on the last word is needed.

butler guide (who seemed to care less that Anon was breaking from plan),

I'm pretty sure that if you say "I could care less", that means you do care a bit, because you cannot have a negative amount of care; "I couldn't care less" means you level of care is a straight 0. I might be wrong here - this is just what I've heard - but I still felt like mentioning it.
...This also brings the question of whether Spike does care (if only a small amount) that Anon deviated from the plan, or if he doesn't; if the former, feel free to ignore this point. If the latter, well...I'm no writer, but I think "seemed to not care less" sounds right.

take good care of my friend, OK?" Twilight fixed Anon with a pleading glare.

The last part shouldn't be purple, as that's not Twilight speaking.

but she knew Anon since had just exploded in her, he'd need some time to recover

I dunno - this sounds a bit strange to me. At the end of the day, it's your call (as is everything I point out), but I think "but since she knew that Anon had just exploded..." sounds better.

AJ and Anon walked both walked into the living room

You repeated 'walked' here.

"I'll get Twilight for the teleportation spell to the hospital..." AJ jumped up rushing for the door.

No errors, but I have to wonder if MLP:FiM teleportation is safe for babies; I haven't read or watched Star Trek, but their teleportation apparently involves splitting you into your individual atoms, then transmitting those atoms to the destination to be reconstituted. I doubt that would be all-that-safe, even for adults. Harry Potter teleportation (known as 'Apparition') involves the sensation of being sucked through a long tube, and those inexperienced with Apparition can feel a tad sick afterwards; I don't think this would be healthy for babies.
If MLP:FiM teleportation is just a '*pop* you're at the destination' deal, then I guess it'd be safe for babies.

At the end of the day, this is an awesome story, Clopfics; I'm surprised Rainbow's parents weren't brought back in the epilogue (I'd think they'd have something to say about what happened to their daughter - either reprimanding her for not checking what she swallowed at Fluttershy's or waiting for said mare to return before taking anything, or congratulating her for the pregnancy/foalbirth thing), but that's just a small thing.
This definitely deserves more views.

Ioved this but I still hope theres a sequel to tell the story of how AJ joined there herd, and Rainbow Dash finding out she she's is having triplet's and how she whould react to finding that out whould be funny.

5 outta across the board!
Now....A SEQUEL! if you don't mind?

8334794
I agree
The world needs more Apple impregnation

8334415
Lucario, that measly mention is the very least I could do for the great catches you've provided... If you ever need a place to rant about Phoenix Wright, Paper Mario or Celestia forbid gen 3.5 hairstyles...you'll always be welcome in my comment section!

This bevy of edits was almost perfect, yet again! I think the 'care less' but may stand technically as a colloquialism... but on re-creating I heartily agree that it feels sloppy and shouldn't belong in narration so I cleaned it up.

Thanks for the praise! It means a lot coming from someone with such a keen eye!

Sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8335028

8335048
Hahaha, thanks guys! Nothing like the praise of getting asked for an encore... Tell you what, I'll keep my eye open for an AJ pic to strike my fancy, and if one does I'll try my best to write it in this universe!

Fluttershy to the rescue!
One day too late, but it's the thought that counts

And hey, AJ joined the merry band! And true to her element, she was quite blunt about what she wanted. Screw dropping hints, outright say it! No misinterpreting that.

And that was definitely quite the way to find out the water broke

I don't understand Fluttershy part. What it was for?

8339245
Remember earlier when Rainbow stole medication from Shy's house?

Angel has finally told her that Dash took the estrus amplifier / fertility inducer (bear strength, of course)...

She's trying to reach Dash to stop her from getting pregnant from sex... Not knowing that she's already done the deed with Anon the night before (i.e. it's too late).

Wasn't Zecora out of town visiting family? everything else is pure art.

Please don't use coloured text for a characters dialogue. Proper sentence and paragraph structure, as well as grammar and punctuation help greatly.

8461881
Hi! There were a lot of PMs I received arguing one way or another on the colored text. Originally it was a lark to simulate a more playful pseudo-visual novel style. I've halted it in my recent stories.

I like to think I could easily remove the color even from these old stories, as the voice and grammar are distinct enough to provide contrast. It's purely aesthetic.

8459251
Damn! What an observant reader!

... I'll just give the lame excuse that she was back by the afternoon, but you definitely busted me!

Thanks so much for the compliment, they are what keep me going!

8462543
Aesthetic with coloured text is completely redundant. Part of writing is letting your words build the picture for the audience.

8462717
Ehhh... Debatable. Aesthetics are by definition changes made for beauty's sake. You could argue that colored text negatively impacts the aesthetic, or detracts/distracts from the main body of art (in which cases I would agree with you, as my latest works have removed those colors) but I don't think you can say it's 'completely' redundant...

In any case, I think you're singing to the choir as I've already made those changes. Glad you read my fic, and I loved the feedback and opportunity to discuss with you!

8463265
I actually couldn't read your story because the coloured text and structure was so outlandish it quite literally hurt my eyes. I made it about 500 words before I had to stop least I throw my phone clear across the room.

8463321
I am sorry to hear that... That is some of the feedback that made me change things - I use a black on white schema that makes the colored text far more palatable, but I u derstand your frustration.

My gratitude remains, though! I still appreciate your comments and the time it took to write them.

wait, the other one is a sequel to this..........................

8493855
I swear to Celestia one of my characters is going to step on a big ass spider in the next fic if you keep this up!!!!

8494111
bro, put me in a story!

8494111
Do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok this story was an easy 1000 out of a possible 10. The build up was good. There was a nice balance between exposition and explanation via dialogue. Then epilogue is basically the reader getting two of the hottest mates in the show, the ending was sweet and romantic, the writing was intelligent and creative with the color coated text for each characters dialogue.

Dude ignore the fuckers that’s bitched and complained about the color text as a reader and a wroter I say understandings and flow is imprtwnt and your color coated text is perfect. To put it simply I have major ADD and ADHD and still paid attention and no retainers everybtig in this story. So if a dude with an attention disorder doesn’t get distracted by the color text then those who find it ““distracting” can fuck off and go read another story.

Key one of being a writer is to listen to viewed But DONT change a format. In the end it’s YOUR story and YOUR plot. So keep the color coated text and keep making kick ass stories like this.

8513549
Easily the most positive piece of feedback I've ever received!

Thanks so much, very glad that you enjoyed the fic! I really liked how my epilogue turned out too, it just flowed out that way without much pre-planning so I was a bit lucky I suppose!

Re: the colors, I'm very happy it helped your reading experience! As I've mentioned before, the original idea behind it was to create a 'visual novel-ish' pseudo-feel, as all my fics are supposed to tie back to a derpibooru pic. Unfortunately, I was finding that most of my readers were focusing very heavily on the color... I agree with you that an artist should maintain their vision, but my vision is mostly about the story and if the formatting screws with that, I have to lay it aside... though reluctantly.

That being said I haven't given up on the concept, and I may bring it back in the future for the right fic.

I'm working on a follow up to Bred for Success about how AJ joins the herd, hope you like it when it arrives!

8515271
It’s not ““Stuck in a Tree” is it cause I’ve got that one on the burner that to read as well.

8515576
That's just a little side shot, the bigger one is being written.

8515720
Noice

8535161
You're very welcome!

I know alternating caps is supposed to be another step closer, but it just doesn't read very well. I must disagree on that point. It reminds me when I was 12 making my own mediocre fanfics-and other recent mediocre fics-when they have that same practice and, in this story for example, the "g" just doesn't convey the voice breaking. And as it has been read in other smutty fics, the whole "voice is breaking with every thrust and wet, fleshy slap" is not conveyed with alternating caps. To finish off this point, I don't find it a bit off but completely breaking immersion. Thankfully that's my only serious offense I've found. The rest I can argue are borderline pet peevs/minute flaws which I don't remember nor care to hunt down.

As far as the character "Anon" goes, I think that's the only valid argument in the green man's defense that I've read. When phrased that way, it puts me on the fence so I must default to "No, I disagree" because it reminds me of the 2nd person and "You" fics...but with the exception of being a character. I am willing to buy into "Anon" being a character, but not a slate that's been carved into with whatever language, dyes and inset cameos(referring to jewelry). "Anon" being used as it has is, to me, the same as when people think of Sunset Shimmer solely for shipping fodder: the character becomes undervalued and is downgraded to a vehicle or a means to bring about the ending planned by the author. At that rate I feel one might as well get a name tag with an arbitrary name, treat it like a bandaid and just slap it over the "Anon" tag. Tada, light-clop fodder or whatever short-term purpose.

That being said, I won't knock your authorship just for using "Anon". Though I have a list of, what I perceive as, minor errors which have gotten lost (lol), I believe that your execution of "Anon" is beyond plausible. "Anon" felt like a real person reacting naturally. To reiterate: I have no beef with you, just the character "Anon". Using "Anon" just feels like, among other things, a forsaken opportunity in exchange for a more "expedient" drafting experience without worrying about "Anon's" personality so much. In quality fics "Anon" as the...the...

...Everyman.

I wish I hadn't thought about looking on TV Tropes now, I miss my blissful ignorance now.

ಠ_ಠ Son
ಠ__ಠ Put
ಠ___ಠ Anon
ಠ____ಠ Away

Again, not knocking on your Authorship. You handled "Anon" well.

Maybe my pride in relying on myself for generating OC's is making me biased against Green Man.

*proceeds to make "Anon" voodoo dolls to destroy in various ways heinous to sack doll people*

*scrolls down and clicks to see examples...cue internal heel-face turn and burns all "Anon" voodoo dolls*

Alright alright, "Anon" I can buy. Just give 'em a name.

8535412
Had me laughing out loud this morning with parts of your commentary, funny stuff!

Like I said, I'm with you on the caps. Sorry it broke your immersion, it's not something I would use in a more involved fic... That being said it'll probably be something I think more about in even these clopfics, still something I may use as a tool from my toolbox. As you mentioned, I'm well aware you can narrate the voice break, it's just a question of visuals. I wouldn't want the line narrated in a movie - I would want it delivered by the actor. I guess I don't trust my readers enough yet... Something to work on. You're totally right about the G though... Should be the N or M being stretched out.

On Anon, once again I'm with you. I also hate the 'you' type stories and obvious 'your character here'. Used to be of your exact mindset on Anon before I realised our green-faced human is very much an established person: check out shoutingisfun's comic series for a lovely treatment of the fellow. I actually got so far along that I've sort of switched my feelings, and I feel really uncomfortable sticking in an undeveloped human OC for short term fics. Anon will never have a name, and he isn't going anywhere... That being said, on longer stories a named character would definitely make an appearance!

Hope you get a chance to read my other stuff, because it was a blast chatting with you, you have very insightful commentary.

8535733
Hehe, don't wake the neighbors 👌

I really do completely understand your feelings about the whole caps thing. I'm on the fence between "M" and "N". Let's ask Dashie.

Hey Rainb-

"CHROMOMOMOMOSOMES!"

Never mind.

You know, I just had two ideas. One is where Discord makes questionable edits to Dashie's fanfiction and uses colored text for the "edits".
The other idea would be poking fun at the tsundere trope with a female tsundere love interest for "Anon" who makes some kind of variant of a voodoo doll...or just a straightforward voodoo doll and does mean-and lewd-things to it. Eventually "upgrading" to a life-sized voodoo doll and Anon wakes up the next morning wondering why his shorts are soaked. The morning after he sleeps naked and not only his sheets are wet but his entire groin area is wet. "WET? AGAIN?? WHO THE HELL-oh Dash, that's war." Condition: Dash and Anon are at a "Prank Cold War", Dash has no romantic interest; muhahahahaha! So who's the mystery secret admirer? Is it really a secret? Who in the world made the life-sized Anon pillow?! @_@

WILL THERE BE BIG, PUFFY, FLYING GRYPHONS SINGING MOZART?!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT dis gon b gud 👻

Did ya catch the reference?

...sorry. Where were we?

8529155
Sounds like it has potential, when writing feel free to use the long description I gave the author about showing not telling. Remember to show us Chrysalis slowly falling for Quark via diologue, please do not info dump and explain that she is falling for him.

while a decent read overall, the ending was rather silly and not the haha silly.....also mutant horse children LOLOLOLs

8581225
In my head canon human and pone makes a pone, because reasons.

Glad you liked it!

Dammit i need more of the herd slice of life.

omg i just read all the chapters in a few hours or less and i love romance/slice of life herd stories its why i love xenophillia so buckin much lol good work man ive never been more impressed.

also u said u had another account for longer stories? whats the name of it?

8605103
Hahaha, you're the first to ask me about my older account.

I'm gonna keep it a secret for now, it's a few years old and I haven't updated it since I've done a lot of work on my writing style... so it really does feel like a different person's account... it's just a bunch of half started fics.

Maybe one day I'll go back to it but right now I'm having a ton of fun with this account.

Thanks for asking though, and for continuing to make your way through my works... Don't think I didn't notice!

I have got to ask, cuz I can't find the source for it anywhere, but can I get a link or something to the full image of Rainbow you used for this pic? Because she is just freaking ADORABLE with that expression and my need for a new background has risen above 9000 after seeing the clipart! xD

8656280
Check out the artist lunarmarshmallow on db and you'll find the cover art.

Check the artist pusspuss and you'll find the in story pic!

8656495
TY!

There needs to be a spinoff about Zephyr Breeze. You could even call it 'Bred For Failure'.

pffft, water broke, HA

I thoroughly enjoyed this story! It was funny, wholesome, and a bit kinky lol, and again I do enjoy the colored fonts for dialog which makes things easier to understand, great job!!,

wow. its been a while since i read this... You still working on clopfics right?

8824224
Of course! A lot of work has gone into the Space Ponyo family stuff!

Sequel *PLEASE* !!

Finished it, and it was good!