• Member Since 30th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 49 minutes ago


Retired writer of almost anything. Lover of RariDash and background ponies.

Comments ( 87 )

First! I can't wait for the time to read this! :pinkiehappy:

And you get mad at me for my clop titles and chapter names. :trollestia:

I regret nothing.

Great fic as always

That chapter title, that's true art, I could weep.:fluttercry:

OMG I just don't know what to say in a time like this... 10/10

As much as I enjoyed this :raritywink:, I couldn't get over the title or the thought of what the child would look like. :rainbowlaugh: Good work, though! 9/10

Not going to lie, I didn't realize what my titles did for a bit, and when I realized, I decided to roll with it. I enjoy it way too much, though.

As for child(ren), they would come out pony.

Glad you like it.

that was great! i cant wait to read about them having foals duel!

Later as Celestia sets her sun and Luna raises her moon Applejack approaches the barn and upon finding it locked she bangs on the door shouting, "Is there somepony in there!

Getting no reply she hollers to Big Mac to run over with the key and upon unlocking it the two of them are instantly assaulted by the smell. Their eyes shortly fall upon the barns occupants and their jaws drop in unison.

"What in tarnation?!"

Smiling smugly Mac says, "Ya owe me 20 bits."

That's hilarious.

That requires a sequel, and that is most likely to not happen.

He got tasted by the rainbow xD :rainbowlaugh:

Great! Loved the pic when I first saw it and love the story too. I was half expecting Applejack to pop in at the end to accept Rainbow's challenge on superior foals.:rainbowlaugh:

Hell, there was one time Matt could recall where a fellow co-worker of Dash’s was hitting on him. Raindrops was her name if he remembered correctly, and she seemed pretty straightforward with what she wanted. Before Matt could politely decline her offer, Dash had swooped down from her cloudbusting and immediately got in her face, wings flared out. While it was true that Rainbow was the fastest flier in Equestria, the speed at which Raindrops fled that scene could have competed for that title.

:facehoof: Way to go, Rainbow! Cockblocking best pegasus!

Don't worry, Rainy. I'll give you the human dicking you desire. :rainbowwild:

Oddly enough, Soarin has even found himself a nice mare and plans on bringing her to our next show

I'd love to see Rainbow's face if when it turns out that the "nice mare" is Applejack. :ajsmug: :trollestia:

Her wings unfurled to return the embrace quickly before he set her back down on his lap.


Matt looked at her walk away, her tail raised more than usual and a bit more sway in her hips.

She wants the D. :rainbowwild: :rainbowlaugh:

If you arrive a few minutes early, go ahead and cum inside.


Honestly, it was future Matt’s problem to deal with and nothing could take away his happiness that felt now or in the future.

Future Matt would die a horrible death at Applejack's hooves. :trollestia:


:facehoof: Way to go, Rainbow! Cockblocking best pegasus!

Don't worry, Rainy. I'll give you the human dicking you desire. :rainbowwild:

I did it just for you. I knew you would have something to say about it.

I'd love to see Rainbow's face if when it turns out that the "nice mare" is Applejack. :ajsmug: :trollestia:

Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. The "mare" might not even be a mare but a stallion.


Always time for some gentle intimacy.

She wants the D. :rainbowwild: :rainbowlaugh:

There is a "D" in her name.


I still don't regret it.

Future Matt would die a horrible death at Applejack's hooves. :trollestia:

All Matt has to do is point Applejack to the strawberry loving mare and he'll be just fine.

damn Pusspuss and his fucking great Cover Arts

I noticed it says chapter 1, now I have to read it tomorrow, but I hope that means there is some sort of real story going on or at least a bit more than just the sex itself, I love it if there is a good story beside that most of the time.

There is about a tiny bit of story before leading to the sex in this entire thing. Other than that, this is about all that is made. What you're seeing is more of just my titling ways to make things easier to work with and find.

What in impregnation?*

Woooow. That was some of the best Rainbow clop I've seen in a long time. Great job

I came... To read this story...

Then I came in my pants.

Good work!

And the academy would not like to thank you.

I miss that show so much.

Good on ya mate!
You managed to squeeze nearly every clop fic cliche into a single oneshot but it seemed to work. Nice one.
Well that's it for Rainbow, is the weather lookin'... Cloudy for your next effort? :raritywink:

Comment posted by Head of Common Mockery deleted Jul 25th, 2017

A couple of things I can critique.

It was the midday lunch rush, and The Hayburger was a very popular place to get a quick bite to eat. It was also a normal routine for them. They would go to this great eating establishment whenever they had nothing to really do. Plus, it was a great way for them to catch up on stuff that has been going on in their lives. Although, Matt was remember a few things Dash had done in his past that have left him a bit confused.

The last sentence makes no sense. The second through fourth paragraphs are redundant in the sense you're laying out reasons for them to eat at this joint.

Loud noises rang through the restaurant, or at least what Rainbow Dash considered to be a restaurant. She stood waiting impatiently in a long line, her tail and wings twitching in agitation as she stood next to her newest friend. Matt hopelessly watched as Rainbow fought the urge to take the air and figure out what was taking the line so long to move. He easily understood why it was moving so slow, thanks to his height advantage over the unusually small ponies of Equestria. Sadly, there were only a spare few ponies he had met that could easily meet his gaze or not strain themselves so much to try and look at him.

There's an adage when writing that "Don't explain to your readers what the characters should be able to tell." There needs to be a good balance of narrative and dialogue in most stories. This would have been great dialogue point to explain the situation and give the readers a feel for your characters.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long before the two of them reached the counter and ordered their food. Rainbow got the same meal she always got when eating at The Hayburger. Her meal was two double-stack hayburgers, large hay fries, and a large strawberry smoothie. Matt ordered a simple salad, which was the healthier and less heavy option and surprisingly healthier than the salads at fast food joints on his homeworld. Much to his pleasure, he ordered a root beer to accompany his salad. He was thankful these little ponies knew how to make his favorite soda.

Over saturation of info here. Why do we care if two hayburgers was her usual? Do we need to know that Matt was pleasantly surprised that Equestria knew of root beer? Should it matter that the salad there was healthier than what you could get at McDonald's? Basically if it's not relevant, don't worry about it.

I'm not getting down your story. Those were just things that I think could be improved upon.

I made it to the clop scene and stopped reading about half way through it. It just read so
boringly and uninteresting. Heck I skipped through much of the pre-sex parts because they too just felt uninteresting. Was it the puss puss flagging that got this story so much attention? Because I have read much better. Also the constant Matt this and Matt that was very annoying to keep seeing.

Well, that escalated quickly. I mean, I know Rainbow's fast, but damn if that wasn't a new speed record :rainbowlaugh:

Then again, Ken was really dense here. Just like most guys. Hell, I can relate to that myself. Oh well, a night of a lot of fun, with many more to come for those two!

I'd have to agree with you on these. It's a matter of condensing information and "showing" the audience, rather than "telling" them. It's like watching a movie (showing), verses being blindfolded and having someone narrate it to you (telling).

Things like;

Raindrops was her name if he remembered correctly, and she seemed pretty straightforward with what she wanted.

can be fixed to say:

Raindrops, if Matt remembered correctly, seemed pretty straightforward with her intentions.


While it was true that Rainbow was the fastest flier in Equestria, the speed at which Raindrops fled that scene could have competed for that title.

The speed at which Raindrops fled the scene almost put Rainbow's title as "Fastest Flier in Equestria" to shame.

This cover art seems NSFW. I know, that's the point, just saying.

The whole stallions-bad-at-sex-and-men-are-sex-gods trope was my only real problem with it. Like, I get that it's based off of real horses not lasting long, but that's because they don't mate for pleasure and instead only the end result. It's part of sapience that we start seeking pleasure in sex, and an extension of that is prolonging the experience. Saying ponies don't last long because of their baser relatives lack of stamina is like saying humans don't last long because neither do chimps.

I was just thinking that yea.

That is inaccurate. The duration of copulation has little to do with "having sex for pleasure", as a few species are known to do, and is mostly independant to that species. For example in humans, the avarage is 5.4 minutes (though it can range from 33 seconds to 44 minutes), while snakes will go for several hours at least -- a pig's orgasm can last for thirty minutes. There is a lot of variety when it comes to sex in the animal kingdom, so I would just be glad for what we have. :twilightsheepish:

I'm disappointed in you Duelist.
But damn. Top Unf

Nice to see you at the top of the box. I'll top off your box 😘

You and along with everybody else should be.

You can top off my box once you stop playing Widowmaker and Pharah forever.

That particular artwork of yours has certainly had a stimulating effect in more ways than one of late.

This is what? The second story in about two weeks now?

I'd say that this was a COLORFUL story, but the cover art is black and white.

really? that joke was so punny it almost seemed like a Pigment of my imagination

Oh, why don't you just SKITTLE off somewhere else?

Ow don't be blue puns are good for people you know. It's CYANTIFICALY proven.

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