Epilogue: What happened after, Part 2
Lock On felt as if a thousand iron anvils were weighing down upon him. His initial confidence melted like the last patch of winter ice fading away with the contact of the warm spring sun. He felt so weak facing the Changeling Queen.
But love was never complete without imbuing one with great hopes and desires; at a certain point the disease became the cure, which in turn brought more of the illness. Loving her, he was afraid to speak, yet he had the courage to do so.
“You know, I actually tried to love somepony. A pony just like me…” It was truly a splendid love, and he could hardly believe his luck by thinking of the idea in the first place. Nopony could have come up with a better plan.
“How nice. That is a promising start,” Chrysalis sneered, her voice containing every aspect of sarcasm.
“…so that you could impersonate the pony I love, and be able to feed on the sweet love I offer.”
“Loving me and another? Ha! At least you prove to be entertaining in that aspect. But a fool will always be a fool, never realizing his stupidity.”
“But what if the fool wishes to stay a fool? If I truly am a fool, then I will willingly choose to remain in this state if I can love you. What state I am in, or what I am, does not matter. Loving you, on the other hoof, is a serious issue that needs to be confronted right away.” Lock On perched his ears high, eagerly waiting for the Changeling Queen to respond to his brilliant, flawless speech that she was bound to fall for.
“Are you actually serious, to say you will love someone else to love me? Would you think such foolery is even possible?”
“To love you? Yes. Undoubtedly.” Lock On rubbed his forehead. He felt like he was back in the desert again, the imaginary heat plastering his body despite the cool air steadily flowing in the Hive. He was not entirely oblivious to the Changeling Queen’s mocking remarks.
“Hopeless idiot! Pretending to love?” To say Chrysalis was chuckling was the nicest way of putting it. “Amusing. But that is all. A Royal Guard now nothing more than a debased clown begging for what he cannot achieve, loving someone to love someone else. Oh, I implore you to write a comedy on that subject. You shall play the lead actor, so naturally talented to fool others with your meager wits, pretending to be a sage.”
“Like what the Changelings do.” Growls that were too harsh and low for such a lovely creature as Chrysalis could be heard echoing from the distant blackness that contained whatever Changelings powerful enough to guard the Queen herself. “They pretend to love.”
“Explain your logic.” Chrysalis’ voice had a subdued interest that would have been undetectable for Lock On, had he not been paying great attention listening to her words and devouring them intently to satisfy his appetite.
It was working. Lock On could have squealed in delight and jumped around the chamber like a certain purple-colored, talented mare he knew (he'd witnessed the scene on several occasions and found it absolutely hilarious, though now he could hardly find a reason to find it ever being funny), but that would have spoiled the mood. He had to be much more sincere and romantic in demeanor.
“Changelings. They have to take away love.”
“In case you didn’t know, we can also change shapes. We are called the CHANGElings, after all.” Chrysalis covered her face with her hoof, sighing. “I should be ashamed of myself, defeated by a bunch of fools who hardly know anything about us. Mea culpa, behold the Changeling Queen fallen in shame.”
“And that is why I learned about your kind, dear Chrysalis.” Lock On bowed triumphantly like a great magician before the spectators amazed at his trick. “Please forgive me for my ignorance, but I have learned so much now, and was able to come up with a perfect plan.”
“Perfect? Ridiculously banal; this amuses me not. What plan?” The Changeling Queen’s voice held the typical indifference from those who thought they were wasting their time listening to a madpony’s gibberish.
“You were able to take my captain’s love. Surely you could take mine as well.”
“Because he loved Cadence.” The Changeling Queen’s reply was swift.
“Exactly. If I love somepony— ”
“But you don’t.” Before he could speak further, Chrysalis had cut him off. “You’ve said it yourself. You should be greatly thankful for the Changeling Queen to put up with your insolence. Now you fail to amuse me. I expected you to entertain me more, but sadly, you aren't.”
“My lady, I have not yet finished my words.” Lock On fought hard to keep his voice calm. The Queen has shown interest, it only meant one thing: she liked him. It was going smooth, all according to his plan. His rising pulse could wait. He had an important mission to accomplish. “If I love somepony, and you change your shape, then all is settled. You feed off my love, and I will become a Changeling. Simple, yet effective,” Lock On solemnly proclaimed, hoping her attitude would soon change.
“Only one problem though,” Chrysalis said, her voice sounding very unimpressed, despite Lock On's effort. “If you love me so much, then I will simply remain as my own shape, because I alter my form into the pony that you love the most. If you love somepony else so much, then there is no reason for you to come here in the first place, as you’ll be too busy engaged to whomever you love.”
“But I love you, and that is what matters.”
“I love you, I love you. Your parroting begins to tire me.” Chrysalis waved her holed hoof dismissively. “Do you realize you speak like a street magician who knows only cheap tricks and base theatrics? Time is running out, and your entertainment grows blander every second.” Walking towards the lighted area where Lock On sat down, Chrysalis scoffed. “Let’s see, shall we? What does your love look like? Me, of course.”
Chrysalis’ intimidating size easily towered over Lock On’s unicorn body, and he was not known to be small statured. There had to be some magic involved, probably designed to inspire awe and fear into whoever saw her majestic feature. For Lock On, the former was definitely true, her image engraved into his brain as he appreciated the Queen’s features from such a close distance.
Her eyes possessed the verdant greenness that reminded Lock On of a precious jewel so pure in its natural form, not tainted by any jeweler. To cut this precious object rendered it as a lackluster stone in a ring. It was a crime. She could not be tamed; she was not meant to be. Hence, it was Lock On who had to be tamed, offering himself as a gift fitting for the Changeling Queen to take.
“A fool never learns, and comes back to be humiliated again. And I have to take part in this farce. A great act of comedy. Where are the audiences watching the show?” Chrysalis spread her wings wide, their positions impressively alarming; enough to silence those who did not know when to shut up and keep the clichéd jokes to themselves. “For an idiot, you were surprisingly able, managing to march right through and reach the heart of the Hive. But it ends now. See how futile your dream is, and perhaps only despair will teach you a lesson. You shall finally learn how blind you were.”
“It ends here, of course.” Lock On stayed where he was, despite being suddenly and momentarily terrified at the Queen showing her wrath to a relatively mild degree. “Because I will become a Changeling.” And reach your heart, he whispered.
“We shall see.”
The green flames enveloped the Changeling Queen’s body. Before Lock On could even blink and appreciate the change, Chrysalis had already changed, exactly as he desired.
The Changeling Queen must have noticed it too. The charismatic aura that usually surrounded her was gone for a moment. If she could ever be dumbfounded (though Lock On’s captain told how he saw the Changeling Queen’s flustered face, Lock On could hardly believe him), then she was at this point, her face suspiciously scanning over her new form.
“Surprising.” Chrysalis raised her right front hoof for a closer inspection, which was now turned into a smooth pony leg, covered fully with fur gleaming of dark green. “Once in a thousand times, a buffoon may devise a clever trick.”
Her legs were not the only thing that had changed. The insect-like wings, made of chitin scales and transparent membranes, were replaced with immaculately angelic wings. The only thing missing was their color, which was pure, thick blue instead. Her ragged horn was now straight and cone-shaped, reflecting the light from the ceiling and glowing darkly. Her disheveled mane and tail had undergone total transformations too, their threads thoroughly groomed, waving gently whenever there was a sudden breeze while retaining the original hue of the Changeling Queen.
Chrysalis stood before Lock On, taking the form of a powerful alicorn whose graceful features drove him breathless and speechless. Only his unyielding love for the Changeling Queen managed to keep his heart beating.
“You imagined me,” Chrysalis smirked, her amazement finally beginning to show.
“As a pony. A perfect picture ponified version of you. Technically, I love a pony who greatly resembles you. You would take away my love directed towards her. You will be able to feel my love this way, and take it.”
“An elaborate ruse.” A great satisfaction appeared in Chrysalis’ face. “I wouldn’t mind a treat, now it’s here…”
“A perfect plan.” Lock On returned with his own blissful expression, trying his best to imitate that of the Changeling Queen’s.
“Yes, I can feel your love,” Chrysalis answered as a matter-of-factly, but not without a little hint of fascination flashing in her face. “I can take it, if I want to.”
Then take it. Lock On was about to shout, but kept it to himself. “I eagerly await you to make that decision.”
“Why should I?” Chrysalis asked somewhat playfully. It was good sign that that could be hardly missed.
“Because you need love.” Lock On was now closer to the Changeling Queen. He did not mind at all. It was his own will to be close with Chrysalis. Soon, the distance would cease to matter; he could be with her forever once he became a Changeling.
“That is true.”
Lock On advanced further. The growls from the darkness became disturbingly noticeable, but he had ceased to care about the source of the sound some time ago. “This love I offer will be so great, it will aid you tremendously. Last time you rejected me, but now I come as a changed being, and am ready to be changed further. Accept me, deprive me so that I can complete this ‘farce’ as you call it, so that our true love can begin. I fall, in order to ascend. I change, so that I stay. If my love as a pony was an obsession, then my love as a Changeling will be a sweet, pure love.”
“From a loyal Guard Pony to a rambling lunatic. Your pony princesses would be so proud of you.” Malicious, sadistic green flames danced within Chrysalis’ eyes.
“Loyal to the natural law of which all creatures obey. I follow my desire. It directed me towards a new deity for me to serve.”
“Excuses.” Chrysalis seemed to be occupied with herself for a second, and the admonishing buzz resonating behind her stopped. “Though, if you do have love I can use, I would hardly refuse a treat.”
“We all need to adapt when things change. I am glad you decided to change your mind.”
“And you will too, once I grant you the death sentence you foolishly crave.”
Lock On shook his head. “My decision stays firm. I must be a Changeling. That is the only way to win your heart, and I must choose to do so.” And it would be my life sentence, finally having the chance to truly love the Queen.
“In your ephemeral fantasy which shall be swiftly vanished.” Chrysalis’ imposingly breathtaking body completely shadowed Lock On. “But still I desist, knowing to take your love I must participate in the silly play you’ve designed. So, was this your plan? To lure the Queen with petty bait, thinking you could outsmart the Changeling Queen?”
“No, it is I who has been lured, walking right into a trap knowing it can bring me to ruin,” Lock On answered, his body now shaking uncontrollably upon seeing his beloved one so near him. “But I choose to be fallen; I am the moth that rushes willingly to the flaming light, dazed by its burning luminosity.”
Chrysalis howled with laughter. “I hardly expected our second meeting to be like this. Well, so be it then. I can adapt to all situations, including talking to the most delirious creature I've ever met and taking away his love.”
“That you shall do, my Queen.”
“Depriving ponies of their love is certainly pleasant, but breaking their fantasy is fine as well.” Chrysalis’ horn glowed, producing vile rays of dark green. Lock On felt his body levitating upwards, bound to the Changeling Queen’s will. “Are you sure? Do you absolutely want to? This is my final mercy to you for delivering me so great a silly entertainment. I can be generous if I want to… and you wouldn't want to miss it.”
Lock On blissfully relished the Changeling Queen’s predatory glare like all of the other features she displayed. All he had to do was nod. Sweat rolled down his forehead to his face, leaving a salty trail as it touched his lips. His internal self, which usually raised voice of doubts whenever he was about to make a very dubious choice he would soon regret, remained silent.
Where did his loyalty lie? To his self, obviously. He served Equestria because he relished in the warmth of the Sun and the grace of the Moon. But the Changeling Queen’s dark radiance surpassed that of the two celestial bodies, and he naturally chose whichever his heart led to.
His mind and body in whole accord, Lock On nodded. “I am very sure. Grant me this gift to serve you better.”
“I shall enjoy this greatly, breaking you so thoroughly while I feed off your love,” Chrysalis’ voice boomed inside Lock On’s head. It was the only sound he could register at the moment.
How I longed to be broken and changed by you, Chrysalis. Now it happens. Regret I shall ever not. Lock On sighed happily, and closed his eyes as the Changeling Queen’s magic began to modify his body, to render him a mindless slave belonging to the Hive. Vile arcane tendrils sprouted from thin air, and soon firmly attached to his body. It was just like when he was getting a shot, except without the sharp pain that inevitably followed, but something had been definitely injected inside him, making the process irreversible.
“Even now I can stop, and you will be allowed to leave.” Chrysalis casually turned around, the magic surrounding Lock On remaining on the same intensity nevertheless.
“Should I say you to stop, then you will decline. You shall take delight in breaking my hope. Either way I will be a Changeling. My fate is sealed.” Lock On moved his bound body around, more of a means of trying to get into a more comfortable position rather than a meaningless struggle to break free from the ‘prison’ that confined him. “I pretend to be the victim and therefore I am the victim, whose vain attempt to escape has failed, and he must now face his final moments. I gladly take the gift you bestow. I am terrified to meet my end. My non-existent reason screams at me for my foolishness. My own mind cherishes my tactfulness. I am broken only to be fixed. My obsession you shall take, your love I will receive.”
“Looks like your condition has worsened,” Chrysalis clicked her tongue.
“Loving you, it was bound to happen.” Lock On grinned.
The magical chains were working the roles they were supposed to serve as they held Lock On fast while transparent green masses began to form around him. At first, their shape resembled that of a solid rectangular glass, but then they morphed into pulsating lumps, then conglomerated themselves to create a giant cocoon which was big enough to hold a full-grown pony.
Lock On knew it too, because it was he who was inside that magical chrysalis. Slime-like substances which bordered between solid and liquid began to drip from the inner wall, slowly filling the space. When the globs touched his hooves they involuntarily shuddered, but soon calmed down. He was going to have to get used to it, and the sooner the better.
When the half-liquid, half-solid murkiness reached to his mouth, Lock On did not hesitate to stick out his tongue and swallow. It would have been too good if what was now filling the small space he was inside tasted of sweet candies and soft cakes; it was as if he took a bite out of swamp mud. But whether it was the Changeling magic ‘corrupting’ his mind or his love affecting him, it started to tasted somewhat like fruit jelly, his throat eagerly absorbing it and wanting more. At this point he could tell for certain his body fur had been completely replaced with slick Changeling scales. There were two things twitching behind his back, which must have been his new wings sprouting from his back. His new horn had ceased to have magical unicorn capabilities long ago; instead, it was made to receive Changeling signals and use Changeling magic.
He should have been terrified. The slime now completely filled his chrysalis. His head ached. The books he'd read did not contain detailed description of the exact conversion process, presumably because the affected prey was usually unconscious, and then the magic altered the ‘unfortunate’ victim’s mind to that of a Changeling, depriving them of their cognitive abilities.
Not for Lock On. He definitely felt his love slipping away as empty holes appeared in his mind. Their sizes increased, but he did not perceive the typical hollowness and ravenous hunger that all Changelings were supposed to be subject to (at least according to the sources, anyway). What he felt was that his imaginary and actual holes were being filled with love for his new master, the Changeling Queen, and the desire to dutifully serve her as a good solider, such as he used to be. The voice he easily recognized as that of Chrysalis echoed inside his head.
Serve Chrysalis. Serve the Changeling Queen. Serve me, my minion.
Yes. I have to love her. Serve, and then love. I live for her, and she will live for me…
The chorus with a divine cadence sang, and Lock On listened attentively, his mind not resisting the Changeling magic invading his mind and ‘corrupting’ him. He felt no pain, only bliss. He was changed, the ‘damage’ was already done, as the book might have described him. Nothing remained in his body or mind that would ever give him even a thought that he was once a unicorn called Lock On, who was once a Guard Pony serving the Equestrian princesses. It was a Changeling who replaced him.
Only one thing remained in the beast; he, or the Changeling who was once a pony, still loved the Changeling Queen. That fact had been unchanged.
Inside his chrysalis, the newly converted Changeling heard his new master’s signal and began to struggle. With its sharp fangs, it easily tore free of its container and burst out. The Changeling Queen greeted him and watched this completed work of hers with a devilish delight.
“There goes the fool. What did you expect? To become my personal lover? Imbecile. Look at you, now no better than a simpleton following my orders. You asked for it, and I gave it to you.”
“Yes, Chrysalis. Now I follow you.” The Changeling spoke, and his tone was too familiar for Chrysalis to miss. “I am mindless, and thus rely on you. I am connected to you now… how wonderful. Now I can love you more, this time properly, as a Changeling.”
“If you think you can surprise the Changeling Queen, then you’ve failed. But it is impressive nonetheless; I don’t remember my lowly minions saying they love me.” Chrysalis stood quiet.
The Changeling was quick to adjust to it's new body, and flew over towards her, understanding the signal she had sent to him. “Consider me as an exception. Or if your Majesty would like, I can return to my original self.” With a puff there stood a pony with a horn. “I, Lock On, who is now a Changeling, pledge my loyalty to you.”
“This I never expected.” Chrysalis raised her eyebrow a little. “And yet, I should have known. The fool may outwit the wise for once.”
“Love conquers all.” The Changeling had changed his shape again. “I hear your voice. I feel your anger and happiness. Your inconvenience I receive as well, and I shall do my best to relieve its source. You are inside me, my lady. Being a Changeling, I could not be happier.”
“All of my minions listen to me and your will shall hardly matter.”
“My will is whatever you command it to be. After all, I am in your total control, doing whatever you please.” The Changeling blushed as he tried to bow down and kiss Chrysalis’ hoof. To his evident surprise, the Changeling Queen did not show any expression of disgust, but seemed to actively encourage him to do so, which he obliged.
“So you are commanding me.” Chrysalis watched with interest as the newborn Changeling daringly touched the body of the Queen.
“Yes. I command you to command me.” His eyes, which should have been blank and featureless like every other minion Chrysalis had under her control, stared directly at her, gleaming full of excitement that belied its rank and place, unlike other drones.
“Interesting. My minions are not usually known for talking back to their ruler.”
“Exceptions can prove to be refreshing, my lady. I am sure the Hive can adapt to its newest member. I too, will learn to adapt.”
“Well then.” Inside her head Chrysalis activated the telepathic link, which made the Changeling before her stand upright and salute to her. “Since you so willingly desire me to direct you… I will have to order you around, as I am your master.”
The Changeling nodded. “It is your role to subject me under your control. Whatever you say, I shall accept it.”
Chrysalis smirked. The new Changeling was certainly unconventional, but that did not mean she could not use this fool. He could still turn back to its former self, a talent other Changelings did not possess. It was just what she needed to get back at Equestria for the humiliation she faced there.
Meanwhile, the Changeling could sense his master’s thoughts. He could vaguely tell that she was planning to use him as her pawn, as her huge eyes playfully rolled around admiring the creation she had made, probably judging its value.
The feeling of the Changeling Queen taking full grip over him was wonderful, as the Changeling heard the voice inside his head telling him what to do. Its mind sensed a higher being watching over it, reading its mind to the deepest parts. And the new Changeling shamelessly revealed it all, gave it all to the Chrysalis, the firm connection between him and her forever unbroken.
Yes, command me more, use me more. The Changeling thought. She had paid attention to him.
“So, my minion,” Chrysalis looked at the bizarre Changeling she had just created. Oh well, she thought. If she could use him, then it hardly mattered whether he loved her or not. A Changeling had to love the Hive Queen, after all.
“Yes, Chrysalis.” Lock On, now as a Changeling, shied away, feeling the Changeling Queen scanning over his deepest thoughts.
“As your Queen I command you this: return to Equestria.”
“Yes, Chrysalis.”
“You shall feign yourself as Lock On, a faithful Guard Pony.”
“Yes, Chrysalis.”
“You shall watch over the Princesses you pretend to serve, and tell me all of their actions. You shall explore Canterlot and reveal how we should attack. You shall tell me how to deal with the Bearers, and that pesky Cadence and Shining Armor.” Chrysalis sighed. “But first, I will have to teach you personally… you shall learn how best to use your abilities, and how to steal love and give it to me.”
“Yes, Chrysalis.” Her speech as well as her signal Lock On hungrily devoured. Changelings were holed creatures, some said, literally and figuratively. Only with love they could fill their holes and satisfy their hunger. So they had to take love. But it did not matter to him, for he loved the Changeling Queen, and loving her alone could his emptiness be sated.
Moreover, the Changeling Queen had taken possession of him. It was good, because in order to do so, she had to take him. She was inside him, but he was inside her as well. He loved, worshiped, and served her.
Lock On bowed down and kissed the Changeling Queen’s hooves again.
“Glad you know your place.” Waiting for him to finish, Chrysalis turned around. “You will follow me.”
Lock On kept his position low, his mind busy with trying to use the signal most effectively.
Chrysalis, Chrysalis. You can hear me, do you not? Say whatever you want, and I will take it all. Chrysalis, so lovely, so beautiful. Now my senses will always register your presence. Your voice, your smell, your texture and all other things about you; I shall keep them.
I listen only when I want to, servant.
So you want to listen to me. Oh, you will want to, my love. I will do my best. I will return to Equestria to complete my mission, but I shall still know that you are always there for me.
Say what you will, you are but a Changeling.
A Changeling who loves you, Chrysalis.
Lock On accepted the signal that stung him quite hard, an obvious sign for him to shut up and stop sending signals from him. Oh the sweet pain, coming from my beloved. The penance she hammered down upon him was dangerously addictive, much like everything else the Queen offered to her minions.
Love surely conquered all, even if it did so in the most twisted way imaginable.
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And now the story is finally complete. Once again, thanks StarPlasma for the edit!
Huh. Interesting ending. I like it.
1234088
One week later, Chrysalis could take his inane blathering no longer, and banished him from the hive.
She then decided making changelings of ponies who professed to love her was extremely dangerous, and should never be done. Ever.
But for some strange reason, she could never really sleep at night, and stared out the window at the full moon; the blathering idiot in the forefront of her mind.
... WOW... Dat ending...
Not sure wether I should feel proud or sympathy.
1234184 Chrysalis going tsundere mode, I like that.
You know, the funny thing is that Lock On's fate doesn't really seem too bad. I mean, he likes it...
That said, I do think he's at least a little bit crazy.
So, will there be a sequel where Lock On is the doom of Equestria?
This was a fascinating tale and conceptual piece for a pony falling in love with the Changeling Queen!
My favorite aspect is that you didn't try to 'redeem' Chrysalis for the romantic angle to work, nor did you end the story with a simple tragedy of rejection or death without success. You stuck to the dark aspects of such a love and the character had to embrace it with a clever ruse to make things work in their twisted way. The perspective being from a masochist, or at least a completely submissive, pony made the story unique as well.
Thanks for sharing this with us, I enjoyed every word of it! Though some of the drivel he was spouting had me agreeing with the Queen about him being an idiot.
Well that was a piece of well written but disturbing story.
I thought Chrysalis will change at the end.
Well, using love obsessed former guard as a spy... Canterlot is screwd.
1234515 Sadly, I don't think I can write such dark story. This was as far as I could go.
Amazing... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png
I much prefer this ending!
" loving someone to love someone else." love-ception!
that's a pretty wicked idea tho, I like it 
And with Lock-On's help, The queen of the changelings stormed canterlot en masse, stealing all the love they could, it was too easy after Canterlot's Captian of the royal guard and his wife was taken care of, and the princess's were not able to fight off The queen and her minions. However there was one thing she forgot, one important detail she forgot to add into her plans. Twilight and her friends didn't live in Canterlot, so Lock-On couldn't get any info about them, so they wrent taken care of in time! Just as the thought came to the Queen's mind, the six elements pf harmony came in, using the power of friendship to defeat The Quenn once and for all! This would've been the end for her if it wasn't for a certain changeling that took most of the shot for her, the bearers or the elements took him into consideration and he was hit with the same strength of magic as it was to turn discord into stone and to defeat nightmare moon, before the elements could adjust to such a weaker being, he was killed and the Queen was no where to be seen, as she still took a hit from the elements and was blasted away from Equestria. Without their Queen the changelings retreated as well, losing way too much in the retreat. Chrysiallis would never stage another attack on Equestria for another 40 years when the civil war between the solar empire and the lunar republic started. The changelings were slaughtered, caught in-between the two much more huge, and powerful armies during the final battles of the Great Civil War. As the two sides worked together to fight off The Chaos Front, they ran back home, which they found out was invaded by griffans while they were gone. Homeless and tierd, the changelings became nomads, dying off until The Queen was left alone. She laid down on the unforgiving ground of winter snow and went into a sleep she would never wake up from again. Her body can now be found at the Canterlot Musesum.
Fun Fact: Disney kind of started a thing where female protaganists were called Princessess and female antagonists were called queens, proof of this is seen in Princes Celestia, Luna, and Candance, as well as Queen Chrysialis.
1234543 Who says it would be dark... After all you could "cure" the changelings... :P
1234633 Or we can make everypony Changeling, including Princess Celestia. There was one changelingified Celestia picture I really liked.
This is how Lock On thinks.
1234660
Is that some kind of dream sequence from Golden Boy? It SOUNDS like Golden Boy.
In any case, this fic was absolutely perfect, I love it! Such twisted love, I have to say, you wrote this expertly.
I kept getting reminded of the Battle of Wits scene in the Princess Bride, namely the line, "Truly you have a dizzying intellect."
Fun story, a little weird, but fun.
Delicious.
1234735
Eyup, that audio is taken from Episode 1 of Golden Boy
With that kind of desire Lock On has I keep thinking Kousei Kougami will show up and congratulating him on fulfilling his desire, also shouting out “Happy birthday Lock On the new Changeling!” with cake included.
1234660
Brilliant, just brilliant if only the others were this lucky as this guy was.
Those were some of the feeliest feels since I read Eternal.
Wowwww, very Shakespearean! I applaud!
Wow... this guy is pretty crazy, I had hopes for him when he said he was dutifully attending Cadence's love courses, instead he just got even more obsessed and crazy.
Also, you just proved Cadence is worst Princess, her domain is love and she kind of failed...
1251931 Well, even the Princess of Love can't force a pony to love pony. And she did made it easier for Lock On to love Chrysalis, so she succeeded, in a way.
Dark, twisted, and very interesting original idea. Lock On's insanity was especially interesting to behold as he seemed unravel more and more as time went on. Excellent work, I must say!
1272732 I added a two-part epilogue to truly complete the story. Hope you read chapter 7 and 8.
1273107 It's interesting some Cadence fics I read point her to that direction...being a Princess of Love must be a fun thing.
1307401 There are two more chapters you know,
The was a nice story and showed somepony that could be a worthy candidate for the World of Insanity
. I, however, don't believe in "true" love, so this situation would never happen for me.
Creepy and oddly entertaining. I do so enjoy the stories covering insanity, not sure why. I just seem to like broken characters.
1344809 Maybe because it's interesting to see how they act. And I think most fiction characters are flawed/broken in some sense, just varying in degrees. That will partly aid in creating conflicts and progressing the story.
1345514
You must have a character flaw (unless you are in the business of Mary/Gary Sue), though Lock On has a debilitating flaw. It is just a slow spiral downward into a state must people would find unpleasant; though since he is so broken it is bliss.
"Was it all for love --- or was it the lesser version known as lust?"
1234609 Boo! Besides, I don't think Disney made MLP, they can actually get the toys right.
He was definitely obsessed. It is one form of insanity anyway, obsessed is the closest word I can think of, but his blathering!!!!!
Can't say I particularly liked it but it wasn't bad.
1477471 If Disney made MLP, Twilight's parents would be dead, so would Applejacks
wait a sec... maybe Disney did play a part in MLP.
1481679 Hey! Their not dead, they just have an odd side effect of requiring Sunlight. (Very good for manipulating Twilight I might add
)
EDIT: They're
1234660
i lolled so hard XD
and i thought this one got a happy end. Do you plan a 2nd part ?
1856546 Actually I planned chapter 8 to be the end. At the moment I can't think of how to continue. It'd probably have to involve the protagonist to live as a Changeling, and I don't think I can pull that one.
1856722
would be intresting to see from what kind of love he feed and if he is willing to give away all his old friends and familie just for his ... 'love'
Dude. Duuuuuuuuuude. Lock On is just...yeah.
...What did I just read?
Have a favorite for the depiction of the inside of Lock On's head.
That was... an interesting story...
I'm pretty sure that I would've freaked out and tried to kill Chrysalis. I mean, who wouldn't? After knowing her plans and all...
Only way this could have ended right here, if you ask me. Well done, quite well written.
Methinks a sequel will be much appreciated.
Hmm, I'm not entirely sure what I expected out of this fic. I suppose it doesn't matter because what I got was an amazing ride. I have to love Lock On's audacity and clear insanity in this fic, as well as how easily he went from one insane idea to the next on his quest. You almost feel bad for him by the end, but at the same time you have to admire his dedication to his cause.
Chrysalis' tone of bemusement and mild irritation as she dealt with this lunatic was beautiful to read. You can feel her bewilderment and understand the morbid fascination she has with him.
Additionally there were moments where I wasn't entirely sure where things were headed. Somehow I expected something far darker than what I got, but I'm certainly not upset at the end result.
I'm trying to find some level of criticism, but the only one I can think of is your use of purple prose, but even that seems like something that's unfair to complain about because in terms of tone and style it seems marvelously appropriate .
All in all, a fantastic read. 9/10: Would definitely read again and will share with all my friends.
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But not in A bad whey
Ohohokaaay. Whatever floats your boat, dude. This fic wasn't as much up my alley as I imagined but still interesting.