THIS STORY IS BEING REWRITTEN. THEREFORE IT IS NOT COMPLETE.
My name is Seth Rogers. I'm a simple college student trying to get a degree so I can land a good job. However all of that goes out the metaphorical door when I encounter a strange man adorned in half-plate armor. Before I know it, I'm in an unknown land filled with ridiculous looking ponies colored every shade of the rainbow. Or all of them, in one case.
...
I want them to stay as far away from me as physically possible.
This is a Human in Equestria story with shounen elements. The twist is this: the main character, a bitter and troubled young man who doesn't believe in kindness or friendship, experiences the very same lessons that we have in the process of watching this incredible show. Can the ponies we all know and love help Seth become a better person?
Another thing that I must point out is that the show does not exist in the human world. Stay tuned, as character development is the goal of the whole story.
Book I: The New World: Chapters 1-7
Book II: The Meaning of Friendship: Chapters 8-19
Book III: To Canterlot: Chapters 20-33
Book IV: The Royal Wedding: Chapters 34-57
Book V: Forgotten Memories: Chapters 58-86
Book VI: The Return of the Crystal Empire: Chapters 87-End
There is now a Sequel: A Wilting Flower
Cover Art by https://chapaevv.deviantart.com/
Illustrations by icecapers
Edited by Castwing, Schadenponi, Brave-Hooves, Insidiaphilia, scaredofbs, ScootalooFTW, and Vayne Hellslinger
Feel free to come join us and keep up to date on all story news at https://discord.gg/YzuSAEC
Incredibly interesting.
This has really great potential. Don't fuck up.
4015393
Haha, I'll do my best not to. If I do, make sure to tell me, and I'll endeavor to fix it.
The story is moving a bit too fast. I mean, an underground building with an exit only intelligent beings can find, and he only meets ONE oppressed? Where'd the rest go, die off? Then the whole calm 'oh fuck it's a literal timber-wolf, I'd better run' thing. First chapter was wonderful, second chapter should've been third or forth to be honest.
4022149
Thank you for the criticism! You bring up some very excellent points. This story is far from perfect, and I appreciate every bit of help.
If you wouldn't mind a PM conversation, how would you suggest I slow the pacing?
awesome chapters you doing a amazing job
Great chapter. Also, two updates in the same day? Great!
more? more! more~
maor
much-erer
Merê
Hmm. It's a public library, I don't really understand why Spike would BURN someone for entering. Maybe whine about it a bit but really....
Likeing where this story is going! Can't wait for more!
4033498
It's more a combination of fact that Twilight was busy and asked to be left alone, and Seth's incredible rudeness, cursing out Spike and attempting to force his way past.
This chapter is great. I love how you're keeping him sassy/frustrated. He has no reason not to be, so far.
Your characterization is just fine, in my opinion. Nothing wrong with it.
This is great! This story gets far too little attention for how good it is. Keep going, please.
4048372
Hah, story of my life
4048441
You'll get there, just keep going.
To be honest, though, it's annoying to see a story like this stay relatively unknown, and have those League of Humans Acting Villainously stories be so popular. I mean, they're alright... but they're all like the same, and all of them have hundreds of favs and likes...
Sigh. This deserves more attention >.>
4048499
It's a problem I run into with all of my fics, especially on Fanfiction.net.
Honestly though, this is not meant to be a dismal story. The intent is to eventually smooth Seth over into a better person through interactions with these ponies. You can already see it happening if you look close enough.
Another good chapter. I love to see him opening up like this.
Good pacing so far. Continue. please.
potato.
that is all.
Man, gotta appreciate the extra formatting FimFiction allows. The little soundtrack additions do help to establish the mood a fair bit.
pain. so much pain...in my poor feeble heart. NAHH, this was awesome! Keep it going!
Good chapter.
Seth, let the feels flow through you.
4080000
Oh yes, now that I'm into the second arc, I will start giving little hints into his past.
4079915
Hm? I assume you're referring to Seth's little tirade there at the end. It was super painful for me to write as well...since Pinkie is my favorite.
4079759
Ah yes, I have actually come to enjoy this site more than Fanfiction because of the little things like that. Also because ponies. I'm a music major, so I love writing to music like this. I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Now if i understand how these fics tend to go, theres going to be some fuckery with dream walking to get why he wants no friends ou of him.
4081628
Actually, I was not planning on including a scene with dream walking Luna, with that fact that it's done a lot in other HiE stories being part of the reason.
Just gonna... sit here.
Wait for more updates.
Y'know, just cause.
4100684
You won't have to wait long, my good sir. I am already close to being finished with the next :D
4100826 Yay!
Well, I read through this in a sitting, and I enjoyed it. That said, your protagonist is an intolerable douche. Calling him an ass is being far too lenient. Props for giving Piers Anthony a shoutout, though.
Nice story so far, you get a like and a fave!
4115395 Yeah, he is a bit of a cunt, but I'd like to find out why he's such an arse. Sounds to me like life dealt him a shitty hand. Seth actually reminds me of myself a few years back, before I decided to get a grip of myself.
4115395
Piers Anthony was my childhood. Incarnations of Immortality, every Xanth book I could find, he was probably one of my favorite authors!
Anyhow, yes, I made Seth this way for several reasons. The first is that I wanted to see how well received a story like this would be, where the main character isn't just accepted by the mane 6 in less than a day. They are willing to give him a chance, but he isn't willing to do the same. The second is, I wanted to write a story where a deeply troubled character is given the chance to change over time. I hope you keep reading, because the feels will commence!
4115593
Thank you! I'm glad there are people out there enjoying this. I'm glad you're curious about Seth. Doing it this way, you'll notice that he noticeably avoids any mention of his past, except in flashbacks caused by similar circumstances. Over time, I plan to give small hints, rather than just spilling his guts to the first nice pony he meets.
Man, I hate this guy and his outlook on life. But if that was the goal, good job in making him human enough for me to feel it worth the effort to give him my hate.
As for the request of a hardcore critic? Yeah, keep waiting (or looking maybe) cause I don't see anything obvious, but I just went through a drought of finding even half decent stories, so this caught me in a depression dip for my standards.
Damn you Celestia and you evil mind fucking powers! I don't care if it comes with being over a thousand years old and having incite in to pain like no other of your race, you are still cheating.
please just make him skip town and leave ponyville and the mane 6 because there 10 other crapy story's like it
4136273
Trust me, I don't intend to be like other stories. Stay tuned, because I have a lot in store for the next few arcs.
4138125
How do you mean? Any criticism you can give me would be immensely helpful.
Oh Celestia, you magnificent bastard!
And you all ready made him soft
If he is remembering a quote, you should format it like 'So let me ask you: please give Twilight and her friends a chance.'
4179202
Right, that got lost when transferring from the document. Fixed.
is amaryllis suposed to be sunset shimer?
This story is so awesome. I can't wait for more!
4200351
Not at all. She is my own original creation, made to be an emotional anchor for the main character. I have not seen Equestria Girls, so I do not know if their characters are similar or not.
I think people don't like to see themselves from an (admittedly extremist) pessimistic viewpoint. I personally just cover my friends asses when they need it, and expect them to do the same. Won't throw myself into the fire though. Nobody likes a deserved criminal record for the wrong reasons.
4201142
You have a point, and I'm not trying to say that Seth's views are true. He is basically the epitome of the availability heuristic, a concept which I plan to delve into much later in the story :D
Are you kidding me? There's actually people hating this story? Call me crazy but i like the fact that for once there's a character who is angry at being taken from his home, time, family, and friends. I have to agree with Deadman, ignore all the haters. Though i personally think that it's a bit obvious why he doesn't have much faith in the ponies. And if i'm wrong in my suspicions, then i can wait. Meanwhile, ignore the hate filled comments. This is a good story with a rare idea sewn into it.
This story is definitely underrated. So far very impressive.
Well I certainly like where this is going
I can't wait to see more!
some purple pony just found out about what happened to a certain pink pony and said purple pony is not happy, let's watch as the shit hits the fan.
4223957 And just when Rainbow was cheering him up
I'm really liking the growing relationship between Rainbow and Seth. It's obvious he still has a lot of reservations about trying to befriend her, but as he spends time with her, he is seeing that there is more to her then just an egotistical blowhard. The insult off was hilarious, and it was really in character for Rainbow to do.
This story is really interesting. Human in Equestria fics usually become clichéd and uninteresting, because the main character is usually either completely flawless or an outright brony who wants to fit in with the Ponies. This story is unique because Seth is such a cynical person that he can't accept the peaceful friendly pony world for what it is. Seth's development is really coming along well. We can see that beneath his cynicism, that he isn't completely uncaring (though he likes to think he is) and all the friendliness that ponies are giving is starting to have an effect (though I'm still largely expecting there to be some sort of massive blow out between him and the mane six at some point due to their very different personalities).
Honestly, I really love this story and I can't wait for further updates. Great work
Its official. Rainbow pony is with the suicide watch.