The sun has set and risen many times after the changeling's attack at the royal wedding. Even as months past and the wounds left to Canterlot begin to mend, scars remain, perhaps unable to heal...
Such scars riddle the changeling queen, scars from a past that nopony alive remembers, save Celestia. Visiting Celestia in the middle of the night, she taints the air with a threat, or perhaps a promise?
Celestia contacts the bearers, requesting that they come to canterlot in case it needs more defense then Shining Armor and the guard can give, only to here something disturbing.
Twilight is gone, tearing away the greatest weapon they have.
Featured Twice, I'm not sure of the first date, but also on 1/13/15
Chapters (7)
Thanks Black :D liking your Fim account?
Yay ntr!
782668ntr?
782692
Thanks! And I'm not even done editing the 3nd chapter :D
I give a fuck so congragulations you got an stalker
782754
ho reasuring...
Hay there!
For starters, I liked the general idea of the story! I'm curious, to say the least, as to how things will unfold.
With the spike in views- your initial exposure -who knows where it'll lead to?
Reading through I noticed some small errors:
'I will not allow you in my ponies.' Did you mean to say this or this--> 'I will not allow you in my palace'? If the original... mature filter!
'Twilight just stood there. sipping strong, herbal tea that truly did warm her and chased the cold from the mud and rainwater away.' Just that period seems off.
'' She trailed into the woods.' onlty one tab, not two
'Er, okay. but right now I really need your help' again, weird period is weird
Hope I could help!
~Syn3rgy
782754just doing my job of creping the hell out of everypony(iworking in developing my crepypasta iner voice for a nhistory)
If that changeling on the cover image is who I think it is, then this is going to be a story to look forward to.
783070 If I did my job as a artist correctly, it probably is :P
783070 Obvious creepy sentence error is obvious...
Thanks for the help!
Already long shadow grew and engulfed most of the city. shadows
I will not allow you in my ponies. near
We can't find her anywhere, and without her the elements wouldn't work anyway. Still a title, still should be capitalized.
783131 thanks for the help!
782799 I fixed those but coudn't seem to find the extra tab. Thanks!
A dislike, wonder why.
Nice chapter. Spelling error in the title though. It's spelled Preaches, not Preeches. Unless you did that on purpose.
oh dear... Chrysalis is taking levels in abomination... her "creepy song" skill just scored a crit even...
And there she goes. I do love the emotional drama that arises when some Face Heels.
Who is that changeling on the cover image?
793561
That would be Twilight.
You have my attention, I am a sucker for stories with BEST PONI
<grammar nazi>
I did notice a few errors:
Chapter 1:
"I'll make you watch and endure every minute of there suffering."
Should be 'Their'
"You will see everything you love vanishes before your eyes, Princess"
While technically fine, this still reads really weird. I suggest '...see how everything...' or 'vanish'
Chapter 2:
"[...] many fowl things live in Forest Everfree"
Unless you're making a poultry pun, you want 'foul'
Chapter 3:
"likelyest" should be 'likeliest'
"currant" should be 'current', or you lose 12.5 art points.
</grammar>
Ooh, Twilight the changeling possibly? I do so love stories with that in it.
819760 Thanks!
820709 Cool, maybe I'll try for more flashbacks then!
Hey, thanks for directing me here
This is great! Can't wait to read more!
BTW, I have a Changeling Twilight story too, if you want to check it out.
845061 I'll look right now!
Thanks!
845061 Or I would if Fimfiction would stop glitching out on me! 8*rowl*
Poor Twilight.
1002045 It could definitely be worse,I got the notion to make it based off a real chrysalis, but after looking up exactly what that would entitle I kept to less realistic methods XD Urg.
Poor Twi, it's going to get worse before it gets better...
Thanks for the comment!
Kinda confused by this... but It is interesting.
1002307 what confuses you? It may be intentional,or not.
1002378 Eh, everything really. I may just be out of it today... I'll reply to this again after I re-read it.
1002415 'kay
Looks like somepony's in LOVE.
Thanks for updating. I was worried for a while that this interesting fic was going to die out before we even got anywhere. I hope this ends well, because Fics in where Twilight gets corrupted have a habit of ending badly.
1003875 Who says she's getting corrupted?
1004503 Why don' you PM me? I'm dying of curiosity to here what you think. Here's a tip though, don't listen to Chrysalis to well, she had ulterior motives for what she tells my little OC. XD
Updates?
1348450 I'm working on it, slowly. Well, since you asked, have a preview, keep in mind I've done no editing yet XD
"Eyes shining with relief, Trixie rose on still quivering legs. “Trixie has done naught wrong and she knows it. Trixie merely feared how these ruffians could have soiled her standing with your grace.”
My, Celestia couldn’t help but thinking to herself, this one has spunk. Though with cool eyes she sighed. “Let me introduce these ponies to you, since you do not seem knowledgeable of them.”
She gestured with her wing to each pony she mentioned, “This is Rarity, element of generosity, Rainbow Dash, element or Loyalty, Pinkamena Diane Pie, bearer of laughter as well as Fluttershy, bearer or kindness. As friends of Twilight Sparkle, my personal protégé, they are by extension, all my personal students and hold my complete trust.”
Were it not for the flesh and bone holding it in place, Trixie’s jaw would have fallen to -and cracked- solid wood.
“Now, please, what happened to my student?” It took Celestia to have everypony present quivering in their metaphorical horseshoes with that definitively placed voice."
hm... so far... its turning out okay. i'm liking it.
its paced quite nicely, no constant grammar errors, characters arent one dimensional, seems to have promise.
Updates?
1609913 Life hates me right now, and I have a Legend of Spyro fic that's my priority, but this chapp is well in it's way. Sorry.
1609952
No prob. Just take your time. Life can really kick you on the head sometimes.
1613046 Yeah, and Legend of Cynder really is my priority. I'm also a little confused of what to do next in this story, I need filler and have no inspiration for it
1915151
It's only going to get more confusing when we dig into how little Prince Syril came to be, who his family is, and why we have changelings in the first place.
Oh, and Derpy isn't even in here yet....
HOLY **** THIS UPDATED.
Anyways, aside from that, do you think you'll be updating this a little more often, or are we waiting half a year again? I practically forgot this story existed.
1916229 Hopefully more often.
D: this is 7-8 weeks old I'm already addicted. Are you ever going to update this?
2232457 It's been giving me trouble, and I'm focused on my Harry Potter, Teen Titans, Spyro, Kingdom Hearts fics and A rewrite XD And I need a large chunk of time passing and no idea how to fill it....
2239662 Your a busy busy guy, my sympathies for you.
thanks for taking a break to reply to my post ^-^ it gets all so much better when the author of a story replys to a post regarding a Q/A
Good luck on all your stories..