• Published 3rd Dec 2011
  • 35,968 Views, 2,341 Comments

How Did I Get Here? - k12314

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Chapter 63: Intrusion


As soon as I woke up, I had a weird feeling that somepony was watching me. I shot up out of bed and looked out the window. Nothing...


"I could've sworn I saw a streak of black run from the window... Whatever."

I smelled something in the air, and then I realized Dashie was making breakfast.


Scratch that, Scoots was making breakfast.

"Kyle! Are you up?" Dashie yelled from downstairs.

"Yeah! I'm up! Gimme a sec!"

I grabbed a shirt and a pair of off of the floor, and put them on as I walked downstairs. When I arrived in the kitchen, there was a black figure which I assumed was a pan on the stove, and there was batter for something everywhere.

"So... You were trying to make breakfast?"

Scoots just nodded her head wildly.

"Ugh... Well, tell the Crusaders that cooking is not your special talent..."

The smile on her face went from wild to sheepish. She trotted off, and I helped Dashie clean up the mess.

"You know, when we adopted her, I had no idea she would be this... Fun."

Dashie just gave me her "Huh?" face.

"I knew that having a kid would be fun, but I never knew that they could be THIS much fun. I mean, just look at this mess she made, it's hilarious! I find it cute how she keeps trying all of these new things..." I smiled as I continued to clean. Dashie just kept looking at me, but then gave me a warm smile.

"Hello there, hero." My eyes widened. Guess who was in my head again...

I lowered my tone to a whispering growl. "You get the hay out of my head. RIGHT. NOW. I'm having a moment with my wife..."

"Oh, a 'moment,' huh? Like the one I saw in your fantasies last night?" The image of Torrentican in my head gained an evil smile across his face.

"I swear, when I find you, things that no man should even think of will be done..."

"I know, I see all of these fantasies of yours, plotting ways to kill me. Well guess what? I'm like Omnius. I can't die."

"I can still maim you. And if you can't die, I wonder what would happen if I cut off your head..."

"Oooh, quite the violent one, aren't we? I like that..."

"Yeah, well I don't like you. Now get out of my head, out of this world, and out of my LIFE."

I had managed to finish cleaning in the time I was arguing with the evil Traveler in my head.

"Dashie... I'm going out for a bit... Seeya."

Dashie waved goodbye as I walked outside and flew down to the ground below.

"So, where are we going?"


"I think I might just stick around for a bit. There's some really juicy stuff in this little head of yours. How would you like it if I told Rainbow Dash about those thoughts that were in your head whilst Fluttershy was all over you?"

I blushed madly, remembering what had run through my mind when she had admitted her feelings to me. Hey, I'm a teenage boy, who's mind is already in the gutter. The fact that she said she loved me REALLY didn't make matters any better.

"Alright, that's it. Get out. If you payed rent I wouldn't mind, but you don't. SO BUGGER OFF."

"How will you go about making me leave?"

"I'll... Well I can... Bullocks."

"That's right. Now then, I think I might just stay here, and watch how you spend your days here. And I could ruin a few friendships, resurface fantasies at horrible times, you know, have a little fun."

"Man, you aren't just evil, you're sadistic... Well, at least we have something in common." If he was stuck in my head, why not be friendly?

"What do you mean?"

"Well... OK, there was this game I played before I came here. It's called Manhunt... Just dig around in there for it a bit. You'll see what I mean."

"Hmmm... Oh. I see what you mean. Well, I guess we do have some common ground."

"You know, maybe instead of trying to kill, destroy, and ruin everything you find, you should try this."

"And what is this?"

"A potential friendship."

"Ha! I'm not like Omnius. I won't make friends with some mortal fool."

I grinned smugly. "We'll see..."


"... And the decorations are all there?"

"Yep! It'll be super! ImeanI'veneverreallyplannedoneofthesethingsbeforebu-"

I put my hand over Pinkie's mouth to shut her up, just like Dashie does. "I get it... Well, thanks Pinkie. I knew I could count on you."

"Okie-dokie-lokie! Bye-bye!"

I walked out the door, still feeling a little uncomfortable that Torrentican was listening in on all of that.

"She's quite the... Excited one, isn't she?"

"Oh, you have no idea. This is her on a calm day. You should see what happened when I bought her that sack of sugar for her cupcakes... She ate the whole sack. I swear, I had nightmares for a week."

"In hindsight, that wasn't your best idea."

"Yeah. I know. Hey, you're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"You're being friendly again. I'm starting to think that under that evil crust, is a regular human guy, just waiting to get out..."

"Never. I would never be friends with a prat like you."

"What makes you say I'm a prat?"

"You're just too... Nice. You try to help everyone. Why?"

"Because, Torrie," I grinned at the nickname idea, and hoped that Omnius hadn't already thought of it. "I'm that kind of guy. I'm forgiving, and I always see the good in people, or ponies, no matter how dim it is. I can see some good in you, too. You act like you're all evil, but somewhere, your human self is still in there, and regrets everything you've done. You can be a good guy, Torrie. Everyone can. You just need more help than others, that's all."

"As if I would accept any kind of assistance from a mere mortal like YOU..."

"Just because you're invincible, doesn't make you better than me. Actually, the fact that you use immortality as a scapegoat like that just proves that I can be a better man than you."

"And what makes you say that?"

"I have a little something called 'modesty.'"

"So you're fearful of people adoring you for what you are?"

"No, I just don't go around flaunting my reputation and try to use it to get advantages over others. I still count myself as a regular citizen, like everypony else."

The image of Torrie in my head had a puzzled look on his face, as if a revelation had come upon him. Then, the image shook its head, and glared at me.

"Whatever you're trying to pull, it isn't working. You won't make me change, and I'll still destroy you. Just watch me. I'll be back, Kyle Bucy, I swear it."

"Sheesh, Omnius doesn't call you 'The Cliche One' for nothing..."

The image scowled, then disappeared from my mind."

"Is this my voice now? Yes? Good..." It was going to take a while to adjust to talking to a harbinger of death, evil, and war by means of having him in my head.

I sighed, and just kept on walking. I didn't even know where I was going until I saw the trees and a familiar bench. I was in the park... And a small, black, yellow-eyed foal was watching me from a distance.

"Huh... That's creepy. Is he stalking me or something? I wonder if he's a fan or something... Do kids nowadays like rave music?"

When the foal noticed I had seen him, he just tilted his head at me, just like last night.

"Whatever. If he IS stalking me, he'll just give up eventually."

I just kept on walking, and realized I had gone the wrong way. I was actually leaving Ponyville. Then, I decided that I would pay Omnius a visit.

"I think I remember somepony saying he lives on the outskirts of town..."

But, after a good ten minutes of searching, I found no house. Then it hit me.

"If he can travel between dimensions, he could be in an alternate Equestria... An Equestria where I never came along... But then how did Twilight and everypony else recognize him? Ugh, all this wibbly-wobbly spacey-wacey and timey-wimey stuff... I just pulled a Pinkie... is making my head hurt. If I see Omnius again, I'll ask him..."

I turned around to head back into Ponyville, and saw that stalker-foal again. I just shot him a glance, and then kept on walking, paying him no mind.

I still can't believe how oblivious I was...

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