• Published 3rd Dec 2011
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How Did I Get Here? - k12314

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Chapter 17: Coaching The Crusaders


I sat on a bench in Sugarcube Corner, watching as all the busy ponies walked (Or flew) by. I saw Derpy flying by and waved. She waved back.

Life is good.

I looked out at the park nearby, and saw three fillies trying to... Juggle? That was strange. I went over to investigate.

"Er... Hey girls. What're you doing?"

They all stopped trying to juggle (Quite poorly, might I add) and looked at me. "Can't you tell? We're trying to get our cutie marks!" The orange pegasus with the purple mane said. Her flamboyance reminded me of Rainbow Dash. I grinned.

"Huh... You know, I could probably help. I've got a few talents." Lets see... I'm a DJ, I can fly, I can fight, and I can build or repair things. Yep. A few talents.

"You would do that fer' us?" I looked at the filly who said that. She sounded like .

"Sure, why not? I have nothing to do today."

"Thanks mister!" They all said in unison.

"First off, what are your names? Mine's Kyle."

The orange one was the first to speak up. "My name is Scootaloo!"

Then the one that sounded like AJ. "Mah' name's "

"Say, are you related to Applejack?"

"Yeah! She's mah' older sister!" Well, that was interesting.

Then I looked to the one who hasn't said much. "And you?"

"Oh, my name is Sweetie Belle. Nice to meet you."

Then, they all said in perfect harmony: "AND WE ARE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" Amazing.

"Alright, now that names are out of the way, lets get down to business. You are all apparently hopeless at juggling, so lets see what else we can try..."

"Well, you could come to our clubhouse. We have a really big list of stuff we wanna try!" Scootaloo said proudly. Wow, these girls are actually pretty organized.

"Well then. Onwards, to the clubhouse! Allons-y!"


In the clubhouse, there were many crude drawings and plans pinned all over the walls. Sheesh, it looks like they have been at this for a while.

"So, our next plan is to attempt gymnastics!" Sweetie Belle sounded serious, but I was trying to suppress a laugh.

"Alright then. I used to have to watch gymnastics events in school, so I could probably help a little. I could even build a little setup for you... Assuming you have the materials."

They all nodded eagerly, and I followed them out of the clubhouse. We walked through the apple orchard to AJ's barn. I saw a bunch of red-painted wood nailed over where I had slammed into the side. Ah, memories...

We went inside the barn, and I saw a bunch of wood stacked up in a corner, along with a hammer and some nails.

"Are you sure we are allowed to be using this stuff?"

"Yeah! I saw big sis' sittin' it down in here, and she never used it."

"Alright. Lets get started."


After an hour of hard, non-stop labor, I marveled at my handiwork. I had pieced together a balancing stand, a pole-vault, and some hand- Er... Hoof rings. That was pretty easy.

"Alright then. First off, is the balancing stand. All you need to do is try to walk along it, balance on your front hoofs, stuff like that."

Scootaloo ran up and started first. She managed to balance along (With a lot of help from her wings), but she only stayed on her front hoofs for a few seconds, before she came tumbling down. Ouch.

"That was pretty good for a first try Scoots. Apple Bloom, your turn."

She trotted up to the balancing stand, and climbed on. She managed to stay balanced for a total of ten seconds before falling down.

"Alright, that was decent. Sweetie Belle, your up." Oh boy, this was going just swell.

Sweetie walked up, and didn't even manage to take her first step. Down she goes.

"Erm... Alright. Lets move on. The pole-vault. Just grab the pole in your mouth, run at the beams, and then thrust the pole down and try to get over the bar."

This time, Apple Bloom was the first up. She grabbed the pole, and ran as fast as her little legs could carry her. She stuck the pole in the ground, and she went flying. She slammed into the bar, but spun over it. Ouch...

"Hey, you made it across! Great job. Just try to release a little later, and you will get more air."

Here comes Scoots again. She grabbed the pole, and went running. She dug the pole into the ground, and fluttered her wings for more air. She went a little too far, and hit the side of the barn. Déjà vu.

I went over and helped her up. I could have sworn I saw her eyes spinning. She shook her head, and smiled sheepishly.

"That was good, but a little TOO good, Scoots."

I looked back over at the pole-vault and saw Sweetie Belle readying up. She tried, but she fell short of the bar, landing in the hay below. Good thing I set that up.

Before we could begin the hoof rings, I looked to the door and saw AJ, her eyes had a fire of anger in them.

"What. Have. Y'all. DONE!"

"WHAT NOW?" Was the only thought that ran through my head.

"I was plannin' on usin' that wood to build a shed! We need somewhere to keep all th' old tools we got lyin' around!"

"Heh, well ya see, there's a funny story about that..." I motioned for the Crusaders to come to me.

"Oh really? Well I got a funny story fer' you too. It's called WORKIN' UNTIL Y'ALL PAY FER' THEM SUPPLIES!"

"Sounds nice AJ... But..." I grabbed the Crusaders, and flew off. I have to thank Twilight later.

"Y'ALL GET BACK HERE!" No chance. This was probably going to come back and bite me later, but I really didn't feel like working for hours on end.


After hiding out for a half an hour, we went back to the clubhouse. Next thing on the list... "DJing." What a coincidence. I happened to be DJ 1NS4N1TY.

"So, how are you gonna help us with this one, Kyle? DO you know DJ P0N3 or something?" Oh Scoots, you silly filly... I have been talking to Pinkie too much.

"I just happen to be a popular DJ."

"What?" They all said at once. How cute.

"Ever heard of DJ 1NS4N1TY?"

"Yeah. He was discovered by DJ P0N3. Why, you know him?"

"Know him? Scoots, I AM him." All of them dropped their jaws. I chuckled.

"Alright, lets go to my house. I have all of my equipment there."


I took them to my recording studio. They looked around, and I heard a volley of "Oohs" and "Aahs". This equipment wasn't cheap.

"Alright, now lemme show you how it's done..." I grabbed my laptop from a table nearby, and plugged it into one of the machines. I sat it down and brought up my remix software, and put my hands on the slider.

After a minute, I was banging my head to the rave music I had going. I put my hands on the turntable to my left, and started adding some record scratched to the song. Vinyl Scratch would be proud to be hearing this right now.

I ended the song, and stopped the recording. I looked at the Crusaders. They were staring in awe. I grinned ear to ear. This was the first time anyone had seen me recording.

"That... That was..." They were all saying this at different intervals. I helped them finish their sentence.


"Yeah." Again, in unison.

"Alright, now, lemme explain what each of these do. Now, this slider right here, it adjusts the bass of the music..."


I finished my explanation, and let them all try it at once. I had seen groups working one setup before.

I was amazed my ears didn't start bleeding. The horrible sounds that came out of the speakers almost brought me to my knees. I couldn't stop them, I was too busy trying to survive the assault on my eardrums. Besides, it looked like they were having fun. But after about five minutes, I had to stop it.

"OK, THAT'S IT!" I jumped at the off button. The horrible noises stopped. Phew...

"Awwww... But it sounded great!" Scootaloo...

"Yeah... Didn't it?" Apple Bloom...

"I hope I didn't break anything..." Sweetie Belle...

I wanted to tell them the truth, but my kind nature didn't let me.

"It was great... For your first try... But how about something else?"

Then, they hit the on button, and they all yelled: "ONE MORE TRY!"

"Celestia have mercy on me..." They started making... That... Again.


I walked back into their clubhouse, they all had satisfied looks on their faces. They all started looking at each other.

"Where is it?"

"Do ah' have one?"

"What does mine look like?"

None of them had their marks, obviously. I felt sorry for them. They all looked so disappointed.

They looked at me with the saddest faces I have ever seen.

"Alright. What's next on the list. I'm not giving up until you all have your cutie marks."

They all smiled and grabbed the list.

"Next is... Performing."

"Sounds easy enough. I think I know exactly who can do what.

Scoots, you can do the stunts and special effects.

Sweetie Belle, you can do the singing.

Apple Bloom, you can do costumes."

They all grimaced.

"But..." What is up with the speaking in unison?

"No buts. Who is the coach here?" They all sighed.

We set off to work on the play. When we got to town, I asked Pinkie if she could set up a stage for us and get everypony to gather that night. She answered the only way she knew how.


We went to the stage and began to rehearse. We had 4 hours.


I looked out of the curtain. Every pony in Ponyville was here. I felt the nervousness rush through me.

"Are you all sure you remember the lines?"

"Yep!" How do they coordinate their speech like that?

I heard the ponies outside starting to get restless. We couldn't stall them for long. I walked over to Pinkie.

"We're ready."

She nodded, and I walked out the back and around to my seat in the front. "Reserved for Kyle" Oh Celestia, what have I gotten myself into.

"Hello everypony!" Pinkie sounded perfectly calm. I wish I could say the same for myself.

"Are you ready for a super-duper performance tonight? It was planned by one of my best friends, Kyle!"

Everypony looked at me. The nervousness was overwhelming. I wanted to be sick.

"So, lets start the show!" She bounced off stage and I saw the curtains rise. The Crusaders were standing there, looking around, then to me. They were obviously as nervous as I was. I looked back at them all and nodded. They nodded back.

Sweetie Belle took a breath, and began to sing.


After the play, everypony stood up and applauded. I ran around and went backstage. I walked over to the girls. I was so proud of them.

They looked at me, and they all jumped on me, hugging me.

"That went great! Thanks Kyle! I loved getting to set up all of the effects, it was awesome!"

"Well gosh, I knew I was good with a needle n' thread, but the costumes was great!"

"I've never sung like that... Ever!"

They all got off of me, and I smiled. "I think you all found your talents." I looked at their flanks. Nothing. They noticed what I was looking for, and they looked to. They immediately frowned.

"Now, don't be upset. You just need to perfect your skills is all. Just keep trying, and those cutie marks will be there in no time."

I left with them to take them all home, as it was late.

I've never been prouder.

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