• Published 3rd Dec 2011
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How Did I Get Here? - k12314

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Chapter 16: Love Is Lost (Did it even exist?)


"I'm telling you man, it isn't going to work..." Me and Zephyr were arguing about his plan of confession.

"Yeah, well how much experience do you have with mares?" Um...

"I know her much better than you." Ha.

"Oh. Umm... Any tips?"

I looked at him intensely. "Take a seat, class is in session."

He sat down. Facepalm.

"It was a figure of speech."

"Oh." He stood back up.

"Ok, a list of rules for when you confront her.

Rule Number 1: No romancy stuff. She hates that.

Rule Number 2: Try not to make her feel challenged. Even if it feels like a good idea... Don't.

Rule Number 3: Try not to do that thing where if someone says something, you always look at its less-known meaning.

Rule Number 4: Be short and quick with it. As she would say: "Get it done in ten seconds FLAT!

Rule Number 5: Very important, rule number 5. Don't let her eat pears, she HATES pears."

"Got it." He looked confident.

"Good. Now... Where does she live again?"


We arrived at Dashie's house in a little under twenty minutes.

"Dude, it's a little creepy that you know where she lives..."

"Shut up." Well sorry, Mr. Stalker-pants... I'm starting to sound like Pinkie.

"Alright. Go get her buddy. Allons-y!" I hope this works.


"I'll explain later, just go."

He walked up to the door, and he started knocking. Wow, he didn't even stop to have second thoughts.

The door opened, and Zeph walked in. I heard some muffled chatting, but I didn't dare move up to a window to eavesdrop.

I heard some of the muffled speech get louder. Then I hear some loud clanging noises. Then I heard something break. Ummm...

Then I saw the door open and Zeph flew out. He wasn't flying with his wings... He was thrown out.

Oh dear.

Dashie stormed out after him. "So YOU'RE the creep leaving junk here every day! Stay away from me!" She walked back inside and slammed the door. Ouch.

Zeph didn't get up. I walked over to him, and poked him. "Dude." Nothing. I shook him a bit. "Dude!" Now I was worried. I slapped him across the face. "DUDE!"

"Go away, I wanna be alone." Depressed much?

"But your outside."


Oh great. I decided to leave him there. He would be back home by tomorrow.


...Or not. I stood there, staring at my obsessive friend, still laying on the same cloud as he was yesterday. Rainbow Dash was poking him and yelling at him.

"Would you get out of here! Sheesh..." She sounded even angrier than yesterday. I walked over.

"Woah. He's still here."

"Really? I didn't notice." Dashie said sarcastically.

"So, what should we do?"

"Maybe I should just toss him off the cloud." I looked at her like she was nuts.


"Oh for- Just help me carry him home."


The next day, I went to check on Zeph. He hadn't moved ever since me and Dash brought him home. You have got to be kidding me.

"Just leave me alone. I don't want any help..." Oh for Goddesses sakes...

"Sorry, but I can't do that. You are my friend, and friends help each other. Now would you mind telling my why you aren't even moving?"

"If you want to help me, then go away..."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I'm depressed..."

"So you are starving yourself?"

"Go away."

Alright, that's it. I only know two ponies who can fix depression like this.


I brought Zephyr to Fluttershy's cottage, and I brought Pinkie along for backup. This had better work...

Fluttershy was scared to death. "Oh dear! He hasn't eaten or drank anything in days!"

"Yeah, I noticed that." I didn't come here for a diagnosis, I came for help.

"Umm... Come on now, you need to get up and move around. Then we can get you something to eat..." She grabbed his hoof and tried to pull him out of bed. He fell on the floor.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Pinkie ran up to him and started bouncing around. She started singing a ridiculous song.

"Get up!
Get well!
Then we can all feel swell!
Have fun! Go on a run!
Then eat a bun!"

... That certainly was... Creative. He still didn't move. Then something happened that caught me by surprise. Rainbow Dash walked in.

"Oh man, it's worse than you said, Fluttershy..."

She slowly walked to Zeph, and looked at him closer. Her expression went from worry to guilt.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I'm just not into you, alright? We can still be friends if you want."

Zeph looked up at her, and sighed. "Well, that's better than nothing, I guess." He got up, slowly. He was weak from not eating or drinking for about two days. He trotted out the door.

"Fluttershy, go with him and make sure he gets something to eat." I wasn't so sure of him making rash decisions anymore.

"R-right..." She followed him.

I meet the strangest ponies...

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