CHAPTER 60
Crossover with Nathan Traveler's "Omnius's Travels: Equestria"
Silence. Everypony had stopped talking. I couldn't open my eyes, they felt so heavy, as if I hadn't slept for days. I just wanted to sleep. But then, the lack of oxygen in my body made me spring upwards. I was gasping and coughing, and patting myself all over my torso, unable to believe that I was alive.
After I managed to stop gasping for air and checking for unwanted holes in my body, I looked at everypony. They just stared at me, disbelief in their eyes.
"Can't get rid of me that easily." I grinned. The first to speak was Dashie, who threw herself at me, sobbing furiously.
"I-I-I t-thought y-y-you w-were d-dead... I-I couldn't b-bear t-t-to t-tell Scoots..."
"Calm down... I know..." I stroked the back of her mane. I eventually began to feel tears coming on.
"I... I w-would never l-leave you, Dashie..."
Then I lost it. I just cried and cried. I hadn't cried in six years until that point. I wasn't crying over the fact that I had almost been taken away from Dashie: I was crying over the fact that Dashie had almost lost me. I didn't care that I almost died, I cared about Dashie losing me, losing her world.
Everypony just stared at us, the two lovers crying in each others arms, but I didn't care what they were thinking, I only cared that Dashie had me back. That Scoots had me back.
After a few minutes, I wiped my eyes, and then remembered the one who caused this entire mess.
"Torrentican... Where is he!?!? I'm gonna kill him in the most painful ways I know how..." I started contemplating building a torture device. NO-ONE messes with my family like he did, and lives to tell about it.
Omnius approached me. "There's no time to worry about that now, you need to rest. You did just survive being IMPALED."
But then, my jaw almost hit the floor.
Omnius was a human.
"Erm... When did THIS happen?"
"While you were 'dead.'"
"Ah..." I looked him over. He still looked like his pony self, Gordon Freeman goatee and glasses, messy hair... I looked over on a chair nearby, and saw his jacket, covered in my blood, hanging there. He must have used it to hold my innards inside of me. I shook off the horrid thought, and got back to the task at hand.
"We need to find Torrentican NOW. Who knows what he could be up to? He might have another one of those crystal things somewhere!" I tried to stand up, and felt a searing pain in my chest.
"ACK!" I fell back down onto the sofa.
"See what I mean?" He just looked at me.
I stood up again, and ignored the pain, even though it felt like someone was driving a red hot dagger straight through my heart, and twisting it around.
"Alright... Ugh... Let's get searching..." I slowly walked towards the door, stumbling slightly with each step, and the pain getting worse as I went.
"Umm... I really think you should wait." Fluttershy was still barely audible.
"No, really, I'm fine."
Then, she flew in front of the door.
"No, you're not. You're going to wait here, and rest."
We all looked at her, surprised by her sudden bravery. I remembered the lecture I gave her, and chuckled.
"All right, I'll rest... But can I at least go home and see my own daughter?"
Fluttershy blinked, and then sheepishly smiled, and stepped out of the way. Then, I heard the door slam open downstairs.
"WHERE IS HE?" Zeph was here. I heard him come up the stairs, and then he rounded the corner, and saw me.
"Where is that pony with the glasses?"
"Nice to see you too, dude. He's in here. Why do you want to see him so bad?"
Then, I remembered that it was Omnius who suggested I knock Zeph out cold so we could bring him home.
"Ummm... Omnius? You may want to run..."
"Why?" He looked at Zeph, and then a look of realization popped into his eyes.
"Um... Hey there buddy... LOOK, A THREE HEADED MONKEY!" Zeph turned his head for a second to look, and Omnius dashed out the door. Zeph followed suit.
"Erm... They gonna be OK? Ah' reckon they'll be all over Ponyville."
"Well, I don't reckon, I KNOW that's what'll happen. I just hope Zeph doesn't catch up to him."
"Why so?" Twilight looked at me, her head tilted, eyebrow raised.
"Zeph is like me... If you hurt him or someone he cares about, he tends to get... How should I put this... Homicidal."
"But Omnius can't die..." Twilight still looked confused.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he can't feel pain..."
We all sighed.
"So... What now?" I looked around, confused at what to do.
"Ah' reckon we should help Omnius. Seems like that's all there is t' do."
I nodded, and we all walked out the door. I was still in pain, but rest could wait.
I had to make sure Zeph didn't do something he'd regret.
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After about five minutes of searching, we found Zeph running around a tree, chasing nothing. I could hear a familiar theme song playing in my head. I look over at a nearby building, and saw Omnius leaning on a wall, panting.
"Omnius, how the-"
"Benny Hill tactic. Works every time..."
I laughed. "Omnius, you are a GENIUS."
Then, the girls walked over with a sheepish looking Zephyr.
"Ah' reckon this'n here has somethin' t' say."
"Yes, that was most rude of you, Darling."
Zeph looked at AJ, then Rarity, and then to Omnius.
"Erm... I'm sorry I chased you around like that."
"Oh, it's no problem. I've been chased by MUCH worse." He shuddered. I didn't even wanna KNOW what he was thinking about.
"Well... I'm going back to the library. That's enough hero work for now." Twilight gave me a nod, and walked away.
"I need to get home and tend to the animals..." Fluttershy flew off slowly.
"So... Omnius... It was nice meeting you." I extended my hand.
"Nice meeting you too. Good luck with Rainbow Dash." He shook my hand.
"And hey, you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask." He walked off.
I put my hands in my pockets, and just stood there.
"Sheesh, I meet the most colorful of characters..."
D'aaaawwwwww. So cute.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. BENNY HILL FTW!!!!!
( Benny hill can make anything funny or joyus, this is a fact that has been confirmed)
I like that theme and now it's stuck in my head
Anyway nice chapter and I wonder what he had in mind omnius said he has been chased by worse things
you know what I think I don't even want to know
Moar. The Herd demands it.
You sly dog with your Bennyfield. As soon as I saw the link, I thought Bennyfield. Anyway, great story and it was exactly what I wanted from the chapter.
I hope this dose not end the same way all human in equestria story's do.
with a happy ending and you the human ends up staying.
Note to self: Don't chase Omnius, wait untill he gets close. Then killing him.
Now I feel myself as a fool, and Omni! Be grateful to me for calming down after (maximum) 10 minutes!
Benny Hill... Psah....
Never again...
Thats putting it lightly...
I predict more tales.
MANY more tales.
Pickle.
Can't get rid of you that easily, huh? *starts plotting the most horrific torture devices ever*
lololol the benny hill theme goes with EVERYTHING! just like guile's theme
"Wait a minute- you're a human!"
"And your not dead"
"...Touche"
That's how that scene went in my head.
Benny Hill! FTW!
so dose this mean that Luna forgot who you are?
97413
Now THERE'S an idea.
97476 Oh boy
97476
Well, she was on the moon for 1,000 years, so she could just forget some of her banishment time. That way, she still remembers everything and you are still alive! Everypony's happy!
97259 It did mention earlier he went to the l4d and l4d2 universes/unvierse So yeah. he's been chased by tanks, hunters, smokers, boomers, chargers, witches, jockeys, and spitters. WAY worse than Zephyr
So did the elements work or not?
97797
Well, sorta. They weakened the crystal, I just dealt the final blow.
When Luna said she would lose 100 years of herself. I thought doing that would make her younger. Any comment on that?
98045
... No. She lost 100 years of her past. As in, all the memories, the knowledge, the lessons...
98070
To make thing less hard for Luna and everpony (and less sad) why doesn't Luna make the 100 years of memories she lost be ones from her banishment on the moon. She didn't do anything for 1000 years so it would be easier to forget and not as important and her old life with Celestia and the new memories she had with Kyle and everypony now.
98400
I dunno. He's kind of an "Unpredictable" evil. As long as it will cause harm and/or spread chaos, he'll probably do it.
98400
Because he is an ENORMOUS douchebag who loves to fuck everything up for everyone.
98407
That works too.
Benny Hill tactic.....
98429 I prefer run and gun but this tends to be funnier.
lol this chapter is FUNNY
when I read the title i was like:Y U HAVE TO GO. when i read the chapter i was like
awesome chapter and I freakin LOLED at the benny hill tactic
99096
Dude, read Omnius' side of the story, it's even funnier. I can't stop laughing EVERY TIME I READ IT. Oh Benny Hill, you make everything better...
i know this will most likyl be answered in the coming chapters but will kyle turn into pony? or will things fall apart, again...
7 chapters to go
but its about to end!!!
I have the benny hill theme on my music player! I listen to it a surprising amount...