How Did I Get Here?

by k12314

First published

A human is suddenly thrown in Equestria, and searches for acceptance in the community.

When a human is thrust into Equestria on a whim, he struggles to fit in with the locals of this strange land and tries to figure out how to get home, making new friends along the way.

Chapter 1: Where the...

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All I felt was wind.

I opened my eyes, and they immediately began to water, but they eventually adjusted to the rush. I was falling. Fast. I panicked at first, but remembered that I was skydiving for my 16th birthday. I felt around for the release cord on my parachute, and yanked it. The cord was in my hand, but no parachute came out.


I yanked the emergency chute cord... Nothing.

"Oh... Dear..."

I only managed to yell.


I was falling towards the ground, which was now visible from below the cloud line. It looked... Strange. Almost cartoonish. But I payed no mind to that, and instead focused on the ground directly below me, which was getting much bigger, VERY fast.

"No... No. No, no no nononononono!"

I flailed my arms and legs around in panic, hoping I might be able to grab the clouds. But then I saw a blue dot swooping below me, and I landed on the dot.

I opened my eyes, and looked around. I still felt the wind... But I was moving FORWARDS, not falling.

"What the..."

I look down, and I see powder blue wings, a body, and flowing rainbow colored hair. Some strange creature had just saved my life.

"Umm... Excuse me?"

Big mistake.

The flying blue... Thing... Turned its head to look at me, and its eyes widened. "What the hay are you!?!??!"

"What the hay? What a silly thing to sa-"

I was cut off by the fact that I was flying towards a barn. I was screaming, but fell silent as soon as I hit the side of the barn with a mighty CRASH. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was, "What th' hay was that? Rainbow Dash, what did ya' do now?"

I woke up, slowly opening my eyes. Everything was blurry. I shook my head, and stared at the ceiling. I was at my house, on my sofa... But something felt... Off. As if someone, or something, was watching me. I slowly got up and turned my head...

Chapter 2: I must be dreaming. Or have I gone mad?

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I was staring at a row of... Horse-like creatures. But they were too small to be horses... Ponies, maybe?


As soon as I even made a sound, the pink "Pony," jumped at me and started poking me in the face.

"Woah! What are you? You look strangy-wangy-mangy mister!" She shouted as she poked me.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. THAT HURTS YA KNOW!" This was getting VERY strange...

She jumped off of me and was bouncing up and down on her hooves. "Sorry Mr. Thingy!" Oh Lord have mercy.

"I am not a 'Thingy,' I am a human!"

She looked at me with a confused face. These things were apparently unaware of what humans even were. Of course, I was unaware of what they are as well. I kept thinking Ponies, but one of them was hopping up and down and was completely PINK.

She stepped back into the row of creatures, and they all looked at her, with sheepish smiles on their faces. The purple one looked slightly angry.

"Pinkie Pie, I don't think you should treat an alien being like that. He could be dangerous."

"Okie-Dokie-Lokie!" Wait, what?

I was getting a tad bit annoyed. "Ok, someone better start explaining where I am, and what the heck you... Things... Are!"

The purple one spoke up again. "Calm down. You are in Ponyville. And, as the name would suggest, we are ponies."

I slapped my forehead. Oh my gosh... Talking ponies with their own town... Good thing I have amazing skills at keeping my composure under stress.

"Ok... But there has to be more than just this town..." I said, the dumbfoundedness showing in my voice.

"Oh of course." The smart purple pony said in a matter-of-fact tone. "We are in the kingdom of Equestria, ruled by Princess Celestia, who raises the sun every morning, and Princess Luna, who raises the moon."

I felt my jaw drop. These pony princesses controlled the sun and the moon?!?!

"Ok... I guess I can believe that..." I was lying to the ponies and myself.

"Well, now that the lesson is over, who, and what, are you?" The pony asked.

"Oh... My name is Kyle, and as I said, I am a human. I walk on two legs, and I have opposable thumbs."

"Well, nice to meet you, Kyle. My name is Twilight Sparkle."

"And who are the rest of these... Ponies?"

Twilight pointed to the pony on the far left. A shy looking pony, with wings. I was assuming they were called Pegasi, as long as my Greek mythology is correct.

"This is Fluttershy, she takes care of animals in need. She is the one who took care of that nasty cut on your head."

Nasty cut? I felt my head, and I immediately noticed the bandage wrapped around it. Wow, how did I miss that?

"Ummm... That cut on your head with pretty bad... I hope I didn't do anything wrong..."

I was speechless. I just shook my head no. She smiled.

Twilight pointed to the next pony, a white one with a purple mane... And a horn. On closer inspection, Twilight had one as well.

"This is Rarity, she is the local tailor."

"it is WONDERFUL to meet you darling," she said in a very snobby tone. Oh joy. "I hope Dashie didn't hurt you too badly. You look positively HORRID!" Gee, thanks.

Twilight cleared her throat, and Rarity backed off. Twilight pointed to the next pony. An orange one, with a brown desperado cowboy hat. She had a long blonde mane, and matching tail.

"This is Applejack. She works at Sweet Apple Acres, where all of Ponyville's apples are harvested. Her family has owned that land for years, as she tells me."

"Howdy," she said in a very southern accent. I remembered my grandparents. "Its nice t' meetcha!" She grabbed my hand and shook furiously.

"I-i-i-it-t-t-ts N-i-i-i-i-ice to me-e-e-e-et you t-o-o-o-o-o!" She was shaking my hand so hard my voice was vibrating. Sheesh...

"Ummm... Applejack? I think you're hurting him..." Thank you, Twilight.

She stopped shaking, and grinned sheepishly. "Erm... Sorry 'bout that."

Twilight pointed to the pink pony that nearly poked me to death a minute ago. "This is Pinkie Pie. I believe you two have already met..."

Pinkie said nothing, but grinned wildly.

Twilight then pointed to the final pony. The blue pegasus who saved my life, and then immediately almost ended it.

"This is Rainbow Dash. She is the reason you woke up on this couch, and the reason there is a human-shaped crater in the side of Applejack's farm."

Rainbow Dash looked at me, seemingly angry. "Well, all of my friends seem to trust you, but I don't. You fell out of the sky, and you are a weird... Thing. Watch yourself around me, bub." With that last word, she jabbed me in the chest with her hoof. Oh boy, here for only about an hour or so, and I am already hated by someone.

"Well, y'all pro'lly need a place t' stay," Said Applejack. "How 'bout that barn y' slammed inta?" I grinned, and nodded. At least these ponies are hospitable. I was already beginning to like it here.

Chapter 3: Not so bad after all!

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As I walked down the street, I was watching as the ponies of Ponyville went about their daily business. Buying apples, talking with friends, and general milling about. I had a content smile on my face, but something was still eating at me: How did I even get here? I decided to ignore it and go about looking for something to do. I looked around, but I didn't see anyone (Excuse me, anypony) I knew, and nothing to do. I sighed, and wandered a bit more, until I noticed a grey pegasus pony, sitting over a crushed box, sobbing. I walked over and noticed that the package was supposed to be a delivery.

"Whats wrong?" I asked, hoping I might be of some assistance.

She opened her eyes, and they were a bright shade of yellow. I noticed the poor mare was cross-eyed. She managed to stop crying, and looked at me with a confused look on her face. Then she switched to a look of sudden realization.

"Hey, you're that thing that fell on Rainbow Dash the other day!" Oh boy. Word gets around quick here doesn't it?

"Yeah... Hey, do you need any help?"

"Yes, I was supposed to deliver this to Rainbow Dash, but as you can see, I broke it." Tears began to well up in her eyes at that last part. Oh boy, breaking something that was meant for Rainbow Dash... This poor, poor little pony.

"Hang on, lemme see what I can do. I'm good at fixing stuff."

I opened the box, carefully making sure not to damage the tape or cardboard as to repackage it like it was never opened. It was a clock, with designs of blue ponies with yellow lighting bolts on them, with some simple mechanisms that have been knocked loose, and a hinge on the back to repair them was broken, and wouldn't open.

"Got a screwdriver?"


After repairing the hatch, I had slid the mechanisms back into place, and bent a metal rod that was in pretzel form. The clock looked brand new, and it looked as if the box was never opened. All those years of looking at my Christmas presents behind Mom's back payed off.

The mare looked at me with sincere thanks. "Thank you... What is your name?"

"Kyle. Always glad to help."

"My name is Ditzy Doo, but my friends call me Derpy. Well, thanks, Kyle. Bye-bye!" Derpy flew off in an erratic pattern.

I grinned, and kept walking. That's my good deed for the day. I pulled my MP3 player out of my pocket (Where it has been since the parachuting incident, along with whatever was in the carrying pouch on the chute) and turned on some music.


I was sitting on a park bench, leaning back, my eyes closed, head in my hands, bobbing it to the music. I felt something poke my stomach, and my eyes popped open. I leaned up and paused my music, removing my headphones. I saw it was Applejack.

"Well hey, AJ, what's up?"

She looked at me with a smile on her face. "You need a better place t' stay than my ol' barn, right?"

"Uhhh... I guess so." I wonder where that came from.

"Well, ya' need some money to get a house fer' yerself, so why not come an' help me with th' apple buckin'?"

I looked at her, confused. Apple bucking? What on Earth- I mean Equestria is that?

She noticed my confusion and said, "Apple buckin' is when ya' kick th' apple trees t' make th' apples fall out inta buckets we put under em'. Ya' got any strength in ya'?"

I took that as a challenge. "Of course I do. Lead the way, AJ." I grinned at the rhyme.


We arrived at the farm, and went straight towards the orchard. My jaw hit the ground when I saw how many apple trees there were.

"We have to get ALL of those apples!?!?!"

AJ chuckled. "Oh no, not 'till apple buckin' season. That's more n' a year away. Naw, we just gotta get that lil' patch over there." She lifted a hoof to point at a small group of about fifty trees. Oh boy. This is going to be a pain. Literally.

I walked up to one of the trees, and placed the buckets down under key points on the tree. I took a few steps back, and lowered down so my shoulder was sticking towards the tree. I charged... SLAM.


I watched as all of the apples on the tree fell into the buckets, and rubbed my shoulder. That was a bad idea.

"Hey, AJ?"


"I think I need a shoulder pad or something..."

"Pro'lly a good idea."


After I finished the last tree, I counted how many I had gotten. Twenty. AJ said she would pay me five bits per tree, so that was one-hundred bits. Not bad for my first day, but also nowhere near enough for a house.

"Hey, ya' look tired, why don't you hit the hay fer' the night?"

I couldn't feel my arm anymore. "Good idea."

I went to the barn, and opened the door. I was greeted by a burst of confetti and screams. I looked around and saw a sign that said "Welcome to Equestria!"

"Hey there! This is a super-uper-duper party, huh huh huh!?!?" Pinkie Pie was obviously hyper.

"Yes, this is quite amazing... Are those muffins?"


"Thank you Pinkie!"

I ran over to the snacks, and saw Derpy chowing down on a muffin. "Hey, Derpy! I didn't expect you to be here."

Derpy looked over at me, and smiled, her lazy eye rolling in the wrong direction. I chuckled.

"Weff, I wafn't plannif onf..." She swallowed her mouthful of muffins. "Well, I wasn't planning on doing anything today, and Pinkie showed up at my house with an invite, and I saw your name. I just wanted to thank you again... And I also came for other reasons..." She looked at the muffins, grinning with a small bit of guilt.

"Well, I'm glad you showed up, Derpy. You know, Equestria isn't that bad after all." I bit into my muffin as the party raged on behind me.

Chapter 4: To Gain Her Trust

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I laid on the hay bale I called my bed, thinking about what Rainbow Dash had said a few days earlier.

"Well, all of my friends seem to trust you, but I don't. You fell out of the sky, and you are a weird... Thing. Watch yourself around me, bub."

I was wondering how I could gain her trust, and I remembered the clock I had repaired for Derpy.

"It said... Wonderbolts..."

I shot up out of the hay bale, remembering I had seen something in a store for knick-knacks that was supposedly a very rare collectors item. it was a set of life-sized plushies of all the Wonderbolts. It costs 500 bits... I ran over to the little counter near me, and counted my bits... 520. Ouch... But it was worth it. I grabbed my bits and ran to the store. On the street, it felt as if someone was watching me.


I was about halfway to the store, when the worst possible thing happened: I tripped over a piece of cobble jutting out of the road.


I saw all of my bits roll away... Directly towards a drainage slot.

"NONONONONONONONO!" I desperately chased all of the coins, and managed to catch a few of them. I counted... 261. Crud. I looked at the grate, and wondered if it would be wise to go down there... I imagined what Dash would say if I knocked on her door after being in the sewers.

"Oh my Goddesses! You smell, man! Get out of here!"

Well this is just great.

I wondered if there would be a way to convince some of my friends to loan me some cash, and frowned at the thought. No, I had to earn it all back myself. Here comes another day of apple bucking... I looked at my shoulder and winced.


AJ looked at me with a concerned expression. "Ya' sure yer' OK? Ya' look like Yer' in pain..."

I looked at my shoulder. I didn't have my shoulder pad, and my shoulder was pure red, and had no feeling anymore. I didn't care, I was a man on a mission for Rainbow Dash's trust. I charged at another tree.


I slumped down on the tree, and an apple fell on my head. I suddenly thought on Newton's Law of Gravity. I shook the thought out of my head and got up. I hunched up my shoulder, and felt a sharp pain up my arm. I screamed and fell over.

"Ya' see? Ya' was in pain. Now Ah' gotta get Ya' to Fluttershy's place."

"Oh... I'm fine... I just need to sleep it off. I can still apple buck..."

I readied up again, and ignored the pain. I charged at the tree.


I woke up in Fluttershy's cottage. I looked over to see the cottages owner asleep in a chair next to me... I was in her bed.

"Ugh..." I tried to get up, and immediately regretted it. I had some issues with vertigo a year ago, and now it was rearing its ugly head. The room was swimming, I got light-headed, and I fell right back onto the bed. Fluttershy was still sound asleep.

"Well great." I looked on the table next to me, and there was a note with a large coin pouch under it. The note said, "Kyle's Pay". Under that, there was a P.S., "Try not to work yourself so hard next time." - AJ

I rubbed my shoulder, which had a bandage on it. I got up again, but the vertigo didn't kick in. I walked over to Fluttershy.

"Oi, wake up."

She stirred a bit, but then woke up. She looked up at me and jumped a little, but calmed down. "Oh.. My... You seem better."

"Yeah, thanks." I grabbed my shirt and put it back on.

"Umm... I hope you don't mind... But I told everypony about what happened... They are all downstairs."

"Nah, I don't mind."

I went downstairs to see Twilight, Rarity, AJ, Derpy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash (!) waiting downstairs. Everypony looked at me and smiled, but Rainbow Dash just sat there, staring at me with the most piercing stare EVER. I shuddered, but looked at everypony else and smiled. "I told you I was alright."

"You silly-willy, you hurt yourself!"
"Ya'll didn't seem OK t' me."
"I was reading a book to try to figure out what happened to you."
"I made you some muffins!"
"Oh darling! I do hope you are fine."

I was being overwhelmed, so I yelled. "I'M ALRIGHT!"

Everypony stayed quiet. I looked over and saw Rainbow Dash, still staring, looking pretty darn angry.

I ran out the door.


I made it to the store with my pay, a whopping 800 bits. I bought the life-sized plushies, and right after my purchase, everypony caught me in the street, wheeling the plushies in a complimentary trolley. They all stared at me, especially Rainbow Dash, only she looked angrier than ever. I looked at her, and wheeled the trolly over to her.

"For you."

I have never seen eyes wider than hers on that moment.

Chapter 5: A New Friendship

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I grinned as Rainbow Dash tried to pick up her jaw. "The plushies... They're... For me?" She looked at me, teary eyed.

I smiled even wider, and nodded my head. Her dam broke. She bawled, and I was now fully aware of the sentimental value of these plushies.

I walked over to her and kneeled down next to her to bring myself to her eye level. She looked at me, still crying her eyes out. I smiled. She wrapped her forehoof over my neck to hug, and I hugged her right back. I just barely heard her whisper...

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you."


Me and Rainbow Dash walked through Sugarcube Corner, chatting about the Wonderbolts (Whom I had read up about after giving Rainbow Dash the plushies) and looking at more knick-knacks to buy. I was beaming with joy: I was finally friends with the pegasus who saved my life. I felt Rainbow Dash poke me in the side, and she pointed to a poster advertising a Wonderbolts performance coming up in about three weeks. I checked my coin purse, I had about 2000 bits, thanks to the shoulder pad and apple bucking. The tickets were 300 bits each. I looked at Dashie and nodded. She squee'd in fangirl-ish joy. I couldn't help but chuckle at that. I went into the store and asked for the tickets. I was actually pretty excited, and I wondered if it would be like those shows back on Earth where planes did a bunch of tricks. I asked Dashie, but she didn't know what a plane was. Go figure.


I was sitting in Twilight's library, typing on my (One of the few things I brought with me in my parachutes storage space) and remixing some music. I was really getting into it whenever Dashie walked into the tree-building. She saw me, and looked at my quizzically. I explained what it was to her, and she suggested I talk to DJ P0N3 about working with her. What a clever name. It had been almost two weeks since I bought the tickets, and the show was tomorrow. It was in a town called "Cloudsdale'. it must be up in the mountains. I asked Dashie about it.

"Oh, Cloudsdale! I live there. It is where all of the weather is made! They make snowflakes, rainbows, thunderize clouds, and all of that cool stuff. And it all happens on the clouds!"

"so it is up in the mountains?" I asked, even though I knew it was.

"What? No! It is ON the clouds."

"What...?" I pondered for a second, and looked up. I saw a weird looking cloud... Wait, no... Buildings? Cloudsdale... OH MY GODDESSES.

"Cloudsdale is IN THE CLOUDS!?!?"

"Well... Yeah! Where do you think the name came from?"

"Ugh..." I couldn't believe it. How was I going to get up there?

"Pinkie Pie has a hot-air balloon." Dashie said.

Good information to have.


"Sure! Going to Cloudsdale again sounds fun!" Pinkie said.

"Wait, again?" Do what now?

"Yes. I used my magic so that they could walk on the clouds. I even gave wings, which ended up being a bad idea."

"But Twilight, I couldn't help myself! I needed to show Cloudsdale the grace and beauty that is ."

We all rolled our eyes.

"So what you're saying is, you can enchant me so that I can walk. On clouds. Against the laws of physics."

"Yeah, pretty much. I could even enchant an article of your clothes so you can fly. If the item is small enough, the enchantment can be permanent."

It keeps getting better, doesn't it?


When we arrived in Cloudsdale, we headed straight for the stadium. We all took our seats, and waited for the Wonderbolts to be ready. I looked at my shoes, and grinned when I saw the wings on them. Twilight had enchanted my shoes to fly, and since my feet are small, the shoes were small enough for the enchantment to be permanent. I looked back up, but then Dashie poked my side. I assumed she wanted conversation during the wait, and i was right.

"Hey, do you know how to catch people who are leaving junk on my doorstep?" What?

"What do you mean?"

"Some weirdo keeps leaving romantic-y stuff on my doorstep I found it sweet at first, but now it's annoying me."

"Well, he sounds like a romantic to me."

"Yeah, well, he isn't the one I am interested it." She immediately looked away from me. Huh...

Before I had time to think about it, the announcers voice boomed across the stadium.


The entire crowd roared with cheers and whistled. My ears popped.


More shouting and cheering. Blimey, I think my ears are going to bleed.


"THE ONE..."



And at that, I stood up and cheered with the rest of the crowd. Dashie was bouncing up and down, screaming. Sheesh, fangirl to the max.

Then I saw them. They were very graceful at first, flying out and waving to the crowd. There were three of them. One had a long, fire-ish dyed mane, the other had a dark blue mane with light blue outlines. The other had a long, blonde mane. Right after I noticed these details, they disappeared in one big, blue streak. There was smoke coming out from behind the three. It was absolutely amazing. But then I saw a tall pegasus pony, staring straight at Dashie. She didn't notice, but I sure did. He had a dark-ish tan colored coat, a violet mane, and bright green eyes. He jumped up, and he flew out towards the Wonderbolts.

Me and Dashie stared in horror...

"Oh boy..."

Chapter 6: Obsessed, Much?

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The pony was flying straight towards the Wonderbolts, who hadn't noticed.

"Oh no..." I was at an absolute loss of words.

"WHAT DOES HE THINK HE'S DOING!?!?!?" Dashie screamed. It was quite obvious she was NOT happy.

The pony was about to fly right into the Wonderbolt's pattern. If they hit him moving at the speed they were...

I remembered my , which now rendered me able to fly, although I hadn't practiced. Here we go...

"TIME TO PLAY HERO!" I yelled, hopping up from my chair.

I didn't know how to make these things fly.

But right when I thought of how, the wings on my now-magical started to flap. "So me and the shoes are mentally attached... cool." I thought to myself.

I flew straight at the reckless pony, and right before he flew in front of the Wonderbolts, I slammed into him, flying him straight out of the way.

I landed on a wayward cloud floating into the stadium, and put the pony down.

"DUDE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!?" I screamed at him. He scooted back a bit, somewhat scared of me.

"I... I... I just..." He didn't even know why he did it?

I managed to calm down. "Alright... Listen. What was that about? Are you nuts or something? If you wanna talk about it-"

I was cut off by a very empowering but kind voice saying, "I will take it from here, Kyle."

"What the..." I turned around to see a large, white pegasus.... No, unicorn... Both!?!? And she had the sun as a cutie mark...

Everypony was bowing, and I remembered what Twilight had told me when she was introducing me to the group...

"We are in the kingdom of Equestria, ruled by Princess Celestia, who raises the sun every morning..."

My jaw dropped. I was in the presence of royalty. AWESOME.

"You have showed valor today, young human. And I thank you." The princess walked passed me, and everyone in the stadium was looking at me.

"As for you..." She said to the reckless pony.

"Umm... Princess?" I asked. Very frightenedly, might I add.


"May I speak to him before... Whatever you plan on doing?" I was hoping to get some answers.

"I was planning on doing that anyways. You are just saving me time. Thank you." She grinned, and walked away.

I turned back to the pony. "Now, where were we?"


"So, you're the one obsessing over Dashie, eh?" I looked at him. The urge to facepalm was overwhelming. I looked around the room. It was an old ticket booth, no longer used and hidden from view.

"Y-Yeah..." He looked very ashamed for some reason.

"So... I guess you're going to tell Dash, huh?" I looked at him with pity.

"Nah. I knew a guy like you back on Earth. You have my respect for your persistence. Just... Lay off a little, 'kay?"

"But I-"

"You are annoying her."

"I am?"

"Yeah. Just leave a love letter every few weeks or something. Don't leave chocolates or stuff like that every darn DAY man."

"Alright." He smiled thankfully.

I gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder and sent him on his way. Rainbow Dash barged in.

"What was THAT stallion's problem?"

"Just a fan who wanted some attention."

Then, the door opened again, and I saw a blue hoof stick through...

Chapter 7: First Royalty, Now Celebrities?

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As soon as I saw the blue hoof, I made a guess as to who it could be. And my assumption was right when the Wonderbolt with the fiery hair stepped into the room, then the blue haired one, and then the blonde one. Princess Celestia, and now the Wonderbolts. Boy am I lucky!

"Hey, thanks for saving us out there. Who knows what would have happened if you wouldn't have stopped that nut. I'm Spitfire." She had a very commanding but nice voice.

"No problem. Always happy to help those in need." Oh Goddesses, how cheesy.

She giggled. "How noble of you."

The blue haired one spoke up. "My name's Soarin." He grabbed my hand and began to shake it violently. Déjà vu.

"N-i-i-i-i-ce t-o m-e-e-e-e-t you to-o-o-o-o..." I think he shook some of my fillings loose. Ow, my head.

After I regained my composure, Spitfire asked me something that was completely unexpected.

"Well, for saving us, I think you deserve a favor. Any ideas?" She looked at me, truly thankful. And justly so, I saved her life.

I looked at Rainbow Dash, who was staring in awe at the Wonderbolts, so I decided to give her another gift.

"OK. my favor is that you spend the day with your number one fan... Her." I pointed at Rainbow Dash, and she looked at me, and her eyes widened further than I think eyes should go.

"You would do that, for me?" She asked in a squeaky voice.

"Of course. You are one of my best friends, and I don't need anything. And plus, it feels better that I am using the favor to make somepony else happy." I grinned.

Rainbow Dash flew at me and tackled me to the ground, squeezing me tight.

"Erm... *Cough* Dash... *Cough*"

I couldn't breath.

She got off of me quickly.

"Heh, sorry." She said, blushing slightly.

Spitfire was waiting patiently. "Ready to go?" She said to Dash, who was hopping up and down like Pinkie Pie.

"Yep! Seeya Kyle! And thanks again!" She flew out the door with the Wonderbolts.

"Hmm... Now what to do?" I wondered where Rainbow Dash's "Fan" went.

"Maybe a party?" That sounded like a good idea.

Now to find Pinkie.

Chapter 8: A New DJ In Town

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I was looking around for Pinkie, but couldn't find her anywhere. "Oh well..." I thought. I decided to sit down and have and have some lunch. I still needed to adjust to the new diet. I sat down and waited for the waiter. No pun intended. I switched on my MP3 Player and waited.

I looked around a bit and saw a strange looking unicorn. her mane was made up of streaks of light and dark blue, as was her tail. She had purple sunglasses pushed up onto her head, and pure red eyes, and a white coat. She was wearing a green hoodie. White coat... Red eyes... Holy Frijoles, an albino unicorn.

She noticed me staring and put on a mischievous smile. Oh dear, what am I getting myself into now?

She came and sat down at my table, still smiling as if she were up to something. She didn't say anything, but instead took one of my earbuds out of my ear and put it in hers. OK... I was just listening to my latest remix...

She closed her eyes and started bobbing her head. Her smile softened to a more mellow one. She placed the earbud on the table after a minute or so.

"Where did you get that music?" She asked me.

"It is a remix of the theme song of a TV show I watch."

She thought of that for a moment, and looked at me again, the mischievous smile was back.

"Wanna go to a party?"

I went into full alert mode. I looked at her and said "More than anything right now." I grinned back at her.

She took a napkin and a pencil and jotted down an address, and gave it to me.

"Don't be late." She walked away.

"Albino unicorn, inviting me to a party, liking my music... AWESOME." I thought, smiling ear to ear.


Later that evening, I went to the address specified. It was a regular old building, but tonight it had colorful lights flashing from all the windows, and rave music blasting out of any crevice in the building. I love this dimension.

I walked inside, and the albino unicorn looked up from her DJ stand and noticed me. She walked down and lead me to the turntables.

"Who are you anyways?" I asked.

"Haven't you guessed by now? DJ P0N3 dude!"


When will the streak of luck end?

"So, you gonna play those beats of yours or not?" She asked me. She knew the answer.

I walked up to the turntables, and the song that was playing ended. Everypony looked at me. I plugged in my MP3 Player, and selected my latest remix, and pressed play.


The next morning, I woke up, passed out on the floor next to the turntables. I got up, and my vertigo kicked back in.

"Oh n-" WHAM.


DJ P0N3 woke up in the middle of the crowd of unconscious ponies, and walked up to me. She used her unicorn magic to help me up.

"Kid, I have never heard beats like that before. Where are you from? And what are you?"

Oh boy, story time.


DJ P0N3 sat, and listened to the end of my story.

"...and next thing you know, I am on a Pinkie's couch. Then I met all of them."

"Wow, sounds like you're a long way from home."

"Yeah, but don't worry, I have adjusted. Hey, what is your real name, anyways?"

"Vinyl Scratch." Go figure.

"How appropriate."

"Well," she said, standing up, "I gotta go kid, but catch me next time you are at a party."

"Later, Vinyl."

I looked around, and didn't recognize any of the ponies here. Some had woken up and left. Some we just mingling, chatting.
Then there was the one who looked eerily familiar. I walked closer.

"Hey... It's YOU!"

I recognized his light green eyes.

Chapter 9: A Doctor?

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The pony turned around and looked at me. It took him a second to recognize me.

"Oh, it's you."

"I forgot to ask you, who are you?" I wanted to get to know Dashie's stalker.

"Just a fan of Dash." Facepalm.

"No, I mean who ARE you? What is your name?"

"Oh. My name is Zephyr Verve. What is your name?"

Wow. Ok, confusing name. But I can work with that.


"Nice to meet you, DJ."

"wait, DJ? Nonononono! I was just... I mean I..."

"You were chosen by DJ P0N3 to take over for her, you apparently made that music, you constantly listen to your MP3 Player, you know how to use all of that machinery, you were head-banging for the whole party, you passed out at the DJ stand."

"Huh. I guess I am a DJ. Now I need to think of a witty DJ name..." Great. I suck at names.

"Walk with me, I could probably help."

"Sure. Lead on, Stalker of Dashie." I smirked.

"Kyle, if you ever say that again, I'm gonna bury you alive."


After an hour of walking, and trying to think of DJ names, we came to a conclusion.

"How about DJ 1NS4N1TY?" He said.

"Sounds good to me!"

We brohoofed.

Not a moment after the brohoof, we heard a strange "whooshing" sound from over the hill nearby. We went to investigate.

We hid behind a bush, and we saw a strange blue box appear out of nowhere. I swear I have seen this somewhere before.

When the box stopped disappearing and reappearing, I saw a door on the front of it open. I noticed it said "Public Police Call Box" on the top. This was a call box from 1950's London. Now I KNOW I have seen this somewhere before.

A light brown pony with a dark brown, spiky mane stepped out, and behind him followed... DERPY?

"What is Derpy doing with a creep teleporting around in a police call box!?!?" I whispered angrily.

"Who? What?" Zephyr had no idea what I was talking about.

Before I could explain, we felt the bush around us ruffle, and the there was light shining on us. We slowly looked up.

"What are you two doing, snooping around here?" The brown pony found us.

"Umm... We... Umm... I... Umm... Uhh..."

Derpy walked over and looked in the bush, and immediately recognized me, thank Celestia.

"Oh, hey Kyle! It's ok Doctor, he is a friend of mine! And his friend is OK too."

"Ah! You are friends of Ditzy's, alright then, get out of there." This "Doctor" fellow is quite... Odd.

We climbed out of the bush, and the introductions began.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Doctor," he turned to Zephyr, "And this is Ditzy Doo."

"Hi there mister!" How charismatic of her.

"Well... My name is Kyle."

"And I am Zephyr."

"Fantastic!" The Doctor looked at me. "A human? When did a human get into this dimension?"

Wait, WHAT? He knows what humans are? Maybe he knows how I got here!

"I was skydiving, and I blacked out for a second ("I opened my eyes..."), and I was here."

"I think I know exactly what happened to you." Perfect.

"Alright, both of you, come inside." Inside the call box?

"It is called the TARDIS, by the way."

We stepped inside, and it was MUCH bigger on the inside than the outside.

"And... How is this possible?" Zephyr asked. I learned to accept weird stuff a while ago.

"The outside is just a cloaking device, but it is stuck. That is why it is still a call box. The real form of the ship is much bigger." Derpy said. Wow, she has apparently learned a lot from The Doctor.

"Very good Ditzy! Now, Kyle... Lets go back to a moment before you ended up here..."


We were watching a video screen, where an invisible (Probably cloaked) camera was showing me, ready to jump out of the plane.

"What is that thing?" Zephyr asked.

"A plane. Humans can't fly, so they made machines to do it for them." The Doctor apparently hadn't always been a pony.

"Look. Right there. You are falling, there is a strange fluctuation in the air, you probably felt it after you blacked out, because you shouldn't be able to feel anything until you wake up."


All I felt was wind".

"You see the transition? Where everything starts to look different? That is when you passed through a rip in Space and Time."

"WHAT?" You're kidding me.

"It is called The Rift, a portal between dimensions. Every dimension has a Rift leading to another. You were just unlucky enough to find a patch leading from your dimension to here while it was active. Probably caused by an energy surge. It happens."

Then the TARDIS began to shake violently.

"Oh no... Something is pulling us to another point in time!"

The Doctor stared at the mass of buttons, levers, and lights on the control panel.

"The TARDIS is taking us somewhere."

Then me, Zephyr, and Ditzy all yelled in unison, "Say WHAT?!?!"

Chapter 10: When Are We Now?

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The Doctor was shouting as we were thrown around the TARDIS, the shaking and rumbling getting more violent.

The TARDIS eventually stopped moving, and we all stood up.

"Well... That was... Eventful." I said.

"Yes, I agree. Now... lets see where, and when, we are." I was hoping The Doctor was kidding about that last part.

We all stepped outside, and everything looked the same... But... Older. And grey... And...

We saw some ponies up ahead, and the The Doctor yelled to us.

"Hey! The year is 2255!"

Oh. My. Goddesses.

"And we appear to be in an alternate universe! One where Equestria is ravage by nuclear war! The ponies up ahead are supposedly named LittlePip, Calamity, Velvet Remedy-"


"OK, OK, sheesh..."


We ended up going to another dimension, but I REFUSED to go outside.

"NO! I do NOT want to see what could be out there. What if it is something that wants to EAT MY FACE!?!?"

"Fine," The Doctor said, "miss out on all of the wonders of this world. Imagine what could be out there!" He waved a hoof through the air for emphasis. The latest and greatest gaming console of the time popped into my head.

"OK! Lets go!" I wondered where Zephyr and Derpy were.

I ran outside, and my jaw hit the pavement.

I was back on Earth.

And then I felt the tap of a finger on my shoulder, and heard Derpy's voice.

"Kyle, you aren't gonna believe this."

I turned around.

"Oh my Goddesses..."

Chapter 11: Home Again

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"You're... HUMANS!?!?" OK, that is it. I am officially ABSOLUTELY BONKERS.

"Yep, looks like it!" Derpy said enthusiastically.

But then came another surprise. I heard somepony (Wait, back on Earth, Someone) groan, and then the TARDIS' door opened again...

"DASHIE!?!?" We all shouted at once, asides from The Doctor, who was still in the TARDIS, trying to figure out where and when we were.

"Yeah, it's me. So what? I feel weird... And why am I walking on my my back hooves..." She raised her new hands up to her field of vision.


Yep. Saw that coming.

"Dashie! Calm down!" Zephyr said, embracing her. Of course, we end up on my home planet, and he sees it as an opportunity to hit on Dashie.

She shoved him away and looked around frantically.

"W-w-w-where are we!?!?"

"Earth. My home planet..." I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. I remembered my old friends, my family...

Derpy put a hand on my shoulder, and just looked at me. Even as a human, her eyes were still as silly as ever.

The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS. He was a 20-30 year old man, with hair that curls strangely, and he was wearing a suit and trench coat.

"OK, Doctor, what are you?" I asked.

"What does it look like? I'm human!" Facepalm.

"NO. I mean what are you REALLY. You are obviously not human, you were just a freaking PONY for Godde- I mean God's sakes!"

The doctor sighed. "Alright. I am the last remaining Timelord, a race of aliens that had these kinds of bodies long before humans (Thank us later.) We were, as the name suggests, lords of time. Of course, we had the technology to tamper with space as well, but that is just nitpicking. We created ships that could take us anywhere, anytime, at any time. I have the TARDIS. A long time ago, there was a war between us and a race know as the Daaleks. You would call them "Intergalactic Nazis." They thought they were perfect, but they were wrong. I killed them all off... Or so I thought. There are still a few stragglers apparently. Of course, what I did to kill them... Didn't only kill them..." Wait... Oh god...

I was just looking at him. I felt sorry for him, being alone in all of space and time. I turned around, and I saw a stone statue. It was of a crying angel.

"hey guys, look! A statue. What is a statue doing out here?"

The Doctor was immediately in action. "DON'T LOOK AWAY! DON'T EVEN BLINK! BLINK AND YOU'RE DEAD!"


"Doctor... What is going on?" Derpy asked.

"These things, they are called Weeping Angels. When they are being observed, they change to statues of crying angels, hence the name. But as soon as you look away, they change back, and chase you at unbelievable speeds. But they don't kill you if they catch you, oh no... They teleport you to a random point in time, and feed off of the energy of what your life WOULD have been, if not for them. And you just sit in another time period, and literally live yourself to death."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Everyone. Get back in the TARDIS. Now." He sounded pretty serious.

"No." I wasn't going back. Even though I had many new friends, I was home again. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to see everyone again.

"Listen, if we don't get out of here, we are all DEAD!"

I ran. The Doctor turned and ran back into the TARDIS.

I wasn't running for long. I heard whispers, but I ignored them. But I eventually felt a strange sensation, and I blacked out.


I woke up in a back alley. I slowly began to remember what had happened. I had been caught by a Weeping Angel. When am I now?

I walked out of the alley, and immediately noticed differences from when I was from. There were a bunch of hippies gathered in a small park nearby, I saw some greasers sitting in a malt shop. Oh my GOD...

"I'M IN THE 1960'S!"

I knew what I had to do. I had to get some clothes to blend in, and I needed to avoid ANY historical events. I snuck into a backyard and stole some clothes off of a drying line.


After four hours of wandering around, I stopped into a gas station to get something to drink. There had been $5 in the pants pocket.

A large, heavyset man wearing all white clothes and a folding hat was behind the counter. "Hey, sonny! What can I do ya' fer'? I immediately remembered Applejack.

"Can I get a TAB please?"

"Why do ya' need a tab kid? Ya' ain't even bought nothing yet!"

"Alright then give me a Monster."

"This ain't a toy store kid."

"Just give me something with a lot of sugar in it."

"One Pepsi, comin' up."

I sat at the counter, and rubbed my head. Sent into the 1960's by a statue that wanted to kill me, after meeting a time traveling alien, after being warped into a world of ponies.

Oh god... Why me?

Chapter 12: Won't This Cause A Paradox?

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I sat there, drinking my Pepsi, wondering where everyone else was.

I looked out the door, and saw a girl with blonde hair looking lost. What the heck, might as well help out whilst I'm here.

"Hey there. Need any he- DERPY!"

She spun around at the sound of my voice, and ran to me.

"Kyle! Where are we? When are we?"

"Umm... We are on Earth, sometime in the 1960's."

"So, what do we do?"

"Apparently, the Angels sent us all to the same year. Now we find Zephyr and Rainbow Dash."

Great. More wandering and searching.


Me and Derpy were supposed to have met back up at the gas station almost 2 hours after we had found each other. But as I walked past the malt shop I noticed when I first arrived here, I saw that those greasers were harassing Derpy. Great.

I walked over, and saw they were starting to try to coax her out of her . Not good...

I looked at the now-empty glass Pepsi bottle I had, and flipped it over so I held the neck instead of the body of the bottle. I looked back at the greasers. One stuck his hand up Derpy's grey tanktop.

Big mistake, sicko.

I ran over and smashed the bottle over one of their heads. He fell to the ground with a mighty THUD.

"You just messed up, punk." A bigger greaser said to me. Who are you calling a punk?

"You messed with my friends. That is the last mistake you will ever make." I cracked my knuckles. They could see the angry fire in my eyes.

That scared the remaining two. They took a step back. "Umm... H-hey buddy, we don't want no trouble."

"Well you found it."

I grabbed the big lug by the arm and spun his arm around, flipping him over. He hit the ground, and that knocked the wind out of him. The other punched me in the gut. I felt nothing due to the rush of adrenaline I was under the spell of.

I looked at him. I slowly walked towards him. He punched me in the face. I didn't feel a thing. He punched me again. Nothing. This went on for about another second before I grabbed him by his collar and yanked his face close to mine.

"Now, here is what you will do. You will wait here. When your buddies wake up, you will all go home, and think about what you did, and what happened. Are you going to do anything like that again?"

"N-n-n-no sir."

"Good. Now, where do you want it?"

"Wha-" is all he could say. I punched him square in the eye. He was out like a light.


Derpy was walking with me again, as to prevent another accident (And to assure I don't kill anyone in a blind rage.)

"Umm... Thanks for saving me back there."

"Don't mention it."

I noticed a small lock of rainbow colored hair flow into a doorway. I ran up and looked to see where it had entered. It was a little town house. I looked on the mailbox to see who lived there.

"James Riggleman"


"This is my grandpa's house."

Chapter 13: Can We Just Go Back Now?

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I was pacing back and forth in front of my grandfathers house, wondering what to do.

"Oh boy... I want to go in and see if Dash is alright, but I don't know if it will cause a time paradox..."

"Well, lets just see then!" Derpy was apparently used to this by now. She knocked on the door.

A young man, about twenty years old, came to the door. He was wearing a white t-shirt, and jeans, and he had black hair. This was definitely my grandpa.

"Hello." He said.

I saw Rainbow Dash back in his dining room, her head in her hands.

"Ummm... Did a girl with crazy hair come here?" I was hoping he wouldn't be suspicious of anything.

"Well yes, actually." He stepped aside and motioned for us to come in. Ok, no paradox so far. Dang it, Doctor, where are you? This isn't exactly fun!

I walked over to Dash, and she looked up. I saw Zephyr walk around the corner from the kitchen. They both looked at me, like they were frightened.


They pointed to a mirror sitting near me. I looked in it, and saw all of the marks and bruises from the fight. And then all of the adrenaline finally wore off, and I fell over.


I woke up on a couch, wondering if it was all a dream. I was hoping halfheartedly that I would see Pinkie Pie looking over me.

Instead, I saw Dashie. As a human. Oh God, it all happened.

I shot up, and tried to stand up. Here comes the vertigo again.

I fell back over, and a twinge of frustration shot through me. When did I think it would be a good idea to walk into a teleporting police call box?

My grandpa was sitting in a chair nearby. "Son, I don't think you wanna try to get up for a little while. Those marks look pretty bad."

I looked at him. "Trust me, I don't need the rest."

He stared back at me. "You know... You sorta remind me of my son..."

My uncle. OK this is getting weird GOTTAGOBYE.

I finally managed to get on my feet after about three more tries, and I gathered up all of my friends. We were about to leave when my grandpa insisted he help us find whatever it was we were looking for.

"Listen, there are a lot of reasons I can't tell you as to why that would be a bad idea."

"And I reckon you're just being stubborn." I wasn't going to win this argument.

Sigh. "Fine..."

"Alright then, I'll get my car."


We were only searching for a half an hour when we saw the TARDIS in a back alley. We all got out and thanked my grandpa, who looked at us quizzically, but drove off. And, as if a god-send, The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, and looked at us. He shot me a dirty look. I had a lot of explaining to do.

"OK, I won't get mad at you for running, but couldn't you have at least waited until we were away from the Angels?"

"Sorry. Now can you get us back to where we belong?"

"Alright. But first, we need to fix the TARDIS. All this jumping around shook a few circuits loose."

"Great." Well, at least this was over.


We all stepped out of the TARDIS, and thank the Goddesses, we were back in Equestria. I looked back to The Doctor and Derpy. It was good to see everyone as ponies again. It just felt... Right.

"Well... Later." I never wanted to see that box again.

"You could come with us." The Doctor grinned when he said this. He had to have been joking.

"No thank you. I have had enough time travel for a lifetime." I turned to walk away, but Zephyr stood, apparently thinking about the offer.

"You aren't really considering this, are you?"

"Well, even though we could have died, it was fun. I think I'll go with The Doctor." I guess he really WAS considering it.

"I won't try to stop you... But just try not to die, alright?"

"He is safe with me. Now lets GO! All of time and space awaits us!" They all stepped into the TARDIS, except Rainbow Dash who had immediately flown home, and it started to fade in and out of this time period. I thought that was the last I would see of them, but I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I would see them again soon. But for now, I just was home. I looked over Ponyville.

My new home, at least.

Chapter 14: OH GREAT.

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I sat in my house (Which I had purchased just two days before the Wonderbolts' performance) and thought about The Doctor. I was really worried about Derpy and Zephyr. It felt as if I was forgetting somepony...

Oh no...


I ran outside and looked up to Cloudsdale. I can't fly. Crud.

Wait... Yes I can!

I looked down at my shoes, and the little wings on the sides were still there. I jumped up in the air and flew off towards the city in the sky...


Well, that was a stupid idea.

I had to wander around for a half an hour looking for somepony who knew where Dashie lived. I really need to start thinking things through.

I stood outside of her house. "Not bad..." I thought. I went up to knock on the door.

After about a minute, Dashie answered. She looked like she hadn't slept ever since we got back. She must have had nightmares about her little trip through time. Wonderful...

"Oh... Hey Kyle..." She sounded as bad as she looked.

"Hey, Dashie... May I come in?" You could cut the guilt in my voice with a knife.


Her house was as impressive inside as it was outside. I saw the Wonderbolts clock I had fixed for Derpy sitting on a table near the door. There were Wonderbolts knick-knacks and collectibles all over the place... Wow. I knew Dashie was a fangirl, but... Wow.

She sat down on a cloud-sofa in the next room over. I saw her cuddling with one of the plushies I bought her. "D'awww..." Was all I could think...

I sat down next to her. I looked her over, and noticed just how bad her condition was. Her wings were frazzled, a few feathers missing, her mane was matted and dirty, and she had bags under her eyes. I was deeply worried for her.

"Why were you in the TARDIS?" I asked in a concerned tone.

"The wha... Oh, that blue box. I was flying around, and I saw you talking to that Doctor guy, so I snuck into it without letting anypony see me."

"Well, are you OK?" Please say yes...

"Yeah. But do you think you could... Just stay for a little while?" She curled up and laid on the couch. She rested her head on my knee.

"Sure." I started stroking her mane. Partly to comfort her, partly to smooth it out and make it look at least a little better. In about ten seconds, I heard her breathing start to slow and steady out. She had fallen asleep.

"Oh man..." I wanted to get up, but I didn't want to wake her.

I leaned down. "Dashie..." I whispered into her ear.

Her head shot up and she looked at me. Her face was tinted red. Huh...

She moved so I could stand up, and grinned sheepishly. I chuckled.

"Alright, glad to know your OK Dashie. Laters!"

"Bye..." She sounded embarrassed. I payed this no mind and flew back home.


I was laying on my sofa, listening to my music.

"Everybody's working for the weekend..." I sang along in a mundane, almost whispering tone.

"Everybody wants a lil' romance..." I thought of Dashie for a second.

"Everybody's go-ing off the deep end..." I thought of her again.

Before I could continue, I heard a familiar "Whooshing" noise. Oh Goddesses not this again. I paused the music to listen.

After a few more seconds, it stopped. "No blue box in my living room? No? Good."

Immediately after that thought, I heard a crash from the attic. Then from the second floor. Then from in front of me. After the dust cleared, I saw the TARDIS sitting amongst bits of splintered wood, and the remains of my coffee table, which it had landed on. You have got to be KIDDING ME.

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, and Derpy and Zephyr followed suite.

"Hello there!" Doctor... I am going to kill you.

"Hi there Kyle!" The sound of Derpy's voice calmed me down. At least she was OK.

"Woah! That was insane!" Zephyr jumped out of the TARDIS and landed with his face inches from mine. Personal space, man.

"We went back in time and saw how Equestria was made, we stopped a Diamond Dog from tearing up a village from 3000 years ago, we-"

"Relax, dude. I get it." That did sound pretty epic though.

I looked at the gaping hole in my roof. I looked at The Doctor with anger in my eyes. He looked at me, and slowly trotted towards the TARDIS. "OK... I know you're mad... But..." And with that, he grabbed Derpy by the tail and ran inside the TARDIS. He locked the door behind him. Then they started to teleport away, leaving Zephyr with me.

I looked at him. "You owe me a new roof, bub."

Chapter 15: Repair Job

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I was sitting on my couch, listening to music as Zephyr fixed my roof, and the floor above me. He is lucky he is a pegasus.

"Can I take a break?" He looked tired, and thirsty. I may be angry, but I'm not heartless.

"Alright. Hey, you want something to drink? I have... Apple Juice, and... Apple Juice..." I have gotta stop buying all of my groceries from Applejack. But I do get a discount...

He chuckled and grabbed a bottle. He chugged the whole thing. Wow, he really was thirsty...

"So... Why exactly do you stalk Dashie?" I had been wondering that ever since he started fixing my roof.

He hit me lightly over the head with the bottle. "I do not "stalk" her. I just leave her love letters."

"So you took my advice, huh?"

"Yeah. What does she think?" His eyes were beaming with anticipation.

"She hasn't said anything about it, so that is probably good."

"Oh." He looked disappointed.

I heard a knock at the door. I opened up.

"Oh, hey Applejack. What's up?"

"We heard crashin' noises comin' from 'round here. Y'all OK?"

"Yeah... Something just fell through my roof."

"Well tarnation. Lemme gather up the gals and we c'n help ya'!"

"No tha-" She was already bolting down the street.

Zephyr looked excited. Oh boy...

"She said the 'gals', right?"

"Yeah..." What was this crazy stallion thinking NOW?

"That means Dash will be here too!" He fluttered his wings in excitement. Now it was my turn to hit him with my bottle.


A few minutes later, I heard another knock on my door. I was helping Zephyr fix the roof now, and it was almost done. We just had the ceiling and my coffee table left.

"Coming!" I flew down (Goddesses I love these shoes) and opened the door. Almost everypony I knew was here with construction gear on. Where did that gear come from anyways? Ah, whatever.

"Ugh, I look absolutely HORRENDOUS in this outfit!" Rarity was still as snooty as ever.

Pinkie Pie hopped passed me, and looked at the damage. "Ooooohhh... Someone really hurt your poor housy-wousy!" I imagined Pinkie with all of the construction tools. Oh boy...

Everypony walked in and looked at the damage. Applejack whistled. "Well, we sure got our work cut out fer' us. Lets get t' work!"

Twilight walked in with a scroll and quill. She was doing measurements, talking to herself. "If the damage is this length and this width... That would make it..." The thought of math hurt my head. I flew back up to join Zephyr and Rainbow Dash. I saw what I expected. I saw Zephyr looking at Dashie dreamily as she worked. I flew over to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"AH!" He looked at me. "Oops... Sorry..."

"Stop gawking and work, dude." Sheesh, does this pony have any self control?


After we finished the work on the roof, we went to the second floor of the house to see the damage. Not as bad, but still bad.

"Umm... If it's ok... Could I try something?" Fluttershy had an idea.

"Go right on ahead."

She walked outside, and I heard some of the most beautiful singing to ever grace my ears.

A moment later, I saw Fluttershy walk in with a load of animals. My jaw proceeded to hit my hardwood floor. Woah... She can summon animals by singing?

She noticed my expression. "Oh... My... Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry..."

"No! No. You didn't do wrong... I am just... Stunned."

I heard banging and the sound of wood being dragged along upstairs, followed by Pinkie's crazy antics, and I heard Rarity scream.

"AHHH! GET THESE FILTHY CREATURES AWAY FROM ME!" She galloped downstairs. We all laughed.

I heard the noise stop, and all of the animals left. We went upstairs and looked at the floor. It looked like new!

"Fluttershy... Remember to thank your animal friends for me later..." Still amazed...


I shook my head, and walked back down to my living room. I looked at my coffee table's remains. We all picked up the remains and put them back together like a jigsaw puzzle. It only took us all a few minutes.

"Well, that wasn't very organized," Twilight said, almost sounding annoyed, "but we got the job done."

"Yeah! We all did a super-dooper job! YAY!" Pinkie was still jumping around.

"It looks GORGEOUS." Sheesh...

"Yeah! And since I helped fix it, it's 20% cooler!" I giggled. Rainbow Dash was a smug as ever.

"Well, thanks everypony." I was absolutely beat. It was getting pretty late.

Everyone said their goodbyes and left.

I walked up to my room, and sat down on the bed. Finally... Some rest...

I passed out as soon as I hit the pillow.

Chapter 16: Love Is Lost (Did it even exist?)

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"I'm telling you man, it isn't going to work..." Me and Zephyr were arguing about his plan of confession.

"Yeah, well how much experience do you have with mares?" Um...

"I know her much better than you." Ha.

"Oh. Umm... Any tips?"

I looked at him intensely. "Take a seat, class is in session."

He sat down. Facepalm.

"It was a figure of speech."

"Oh." He stood back up.

"Ok, a list of rules for when you confront her.

Rule Number 1: No romancy stuff. She hates that.

Rule Number 2: Try not to make her feel challenged. Even if it feels like a good idea... Don't.

Rule Number 3: Try not to do that thing where if someone says something, you always look at its less-known meaning.

Rule Number 4: Be short and quick with it. As she would say: "Get it done in ten seconds FLAT!

Rule Number 5: Very important, rule number 5. Don't let her eat pears, she HATES pears."

"Got it." He looked confident.

"Good. Now... Where does she live again?"


We arrived at Dashie's house in a little under twenty minutes.

"Dude, it's a little creepy that you know where she lives..."

"Shut up." Well sorry, Mr. Stalker-pants... I'm starting to sound like Pinkie.

"Alright. Go get her buddy. Allons-y!" I hope this works.


"I'll explain later, just go."

He walked up to the door, and he started knocking. Wow, he didn't even stop to have second thoughts.

The door opened, and Zeph walked in. I heard some muffled chatting, but I didn't dare move up to a window to eavesdrop.

I heard some of the muffled speech get louder. Then I hear some loud clanging noises. Then I heard something break. Ummm...

Then I saw the door open and Zeph flew out. He wasn't flying with his wings... He was thrown out.

Oh dear.

Dashie stormed out after him. "So YOU'RE the creep leaving junk here every day! Stay away from me!" She walked back inside and slammed the door. Ouch.

Zeph didn't get up. I walked over to him, and poked him. "Dude." Nothing. I shook him a bit. "Dude!" Now I was worried. I slapped him across the face. "DUDE!"

"Go away, I wanna be alone." Depressed much?

"But your outside."


Oh great. I decided to leave him there. He would be back home by tomorrow.


...Or not. I stood there, staring at my obsessive friend, still laying on the same cloud as he was yesterday. Rainbow Dash was poking him and yelling at him.

"Would you get out of here! Sheesh..." She sounded even angrier than yesterday. I walked over.

"Woah. He's still here."

"Really? I didn't notice." Dashie said sarcastically.

"So, what should we do?"

"Maybe I should just toss him off the cloud." I looked at her like she was nuts.


"Oh for- Just help me carry him home."


The next day, I went to check on Zeph. He hadn't moved ever since me and Dash brought him home. You have got to be kidding me.

"Just leave me alone. I don't want any help..." Oh for Goddesses sakes...

"Sorry, but I can't do that. You are my friend, and friends help each other. Now would you mind telling my why you aren't even moving?"

"If you want to help me, then go away..."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I'm depressed..."

"So you are starving yourself?"

"Go away."

Alright, that's it. I only know two ponies who can fix depression like this.


I brought Zephyr to Fluttershy's cottage, and I brought Pinkie along for backup. This had better work...

Fluttershy was scared to death. "Oh dear! He hasn't eaten or drank anything in days!"

"Yeah, I noticed that." I didn't come here for a diagnosis, I came for help.

"Umm... Come on now, you need to get up and move around. Then we can get you something to eat..." She grabbed his hoof and tried to pull him out of bed. He fell on the floor.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Pinkie ran up to him and started bouncing around. She started singing a ridiculous song.

"Get up!
Get well!
Then we can all feel swell!
Have fun! Go on a run!
Then eat a bun!"

... That certainly was... Creative. He still didn't move. Then something happened that caught me by surprise. Rainbow Dash walked in.

"Oh man, it's worse than you said, Fluttershy..."

She slowly walked to Zeph, and looked at him closer. Her expression went from worry to guilt.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I'm just not into you, alright? We can still be friends if you want."

Zeph looked up at her, and sighed. "Well, that's better than nothing, I guess." He got up, slowly. He was weak from not eating or drinking for about two days. He trotted out the door.

"Fluttershy, go with him and make sure he gets something to eat." I wasn't so sure of him making rash decisions anymore.

"R-right..." She followed him.

I meet the strangest ponies...

Chapter 17: Coaching The Crusaders

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I sat on a bench in Sugarcube Corner, watching as all the busy ponies walked (Or flew) by. I saw Derpy flying by and waved. She waved back.

Life is good.

I looked out at the park nearby, and saw three fillies trying to... Juggle? That was strange. I went over to investigate.

"Er... Hey girls. What're you doing?"

They all stopped trying to juggle (Quite poorly, might I add) and looked at me. "Can't you tell? We're trying to get our cutie marks!" The orange pegasus with the purple mane said. Her flamboyance reminded me of Rainbow Dash. I grinned.

"Huh... You know, I could probably help. I've got a few talents." Lets see... I'm a DJ, I can fly, I can fight, and I can build or repair things. Yep. A few talents.

"You would do that fer' us?" I looked at the filly who said that. She sounded like .

"Sure, why not? I have nothing to do today."

"Thanks mister!" They all said in unison.

"First off, what are your names? Mine's Kyle."

The orange one was the first to speak up. "My name is Scootaloo!"

Then the one that sounded like AJ. "Mah' name's "

"Say, are you related to Applejack?"

"Yeah! She's mah' older sister!" Well, that was interesting.

Then I looked to the one who hasn't said much. "And you?"

"Oh, my name is Sweetie Belle. Nice to meet you."

Then, they all said in perfect harmony: "AND WE ARE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" Amazing.

"Alright, now that names are out of the way, lets get down to business. You are all apparently hopeless at juggling, so lets see what else we can try..."

"Well, you could come to our clubhouse. We have a really big list of stuff we wanna try!" Scootaloo said proudly. Wow, these girls are actually pretty organized.

"Well then. Onwards, to the clubhouse! Allons-y!"


In the clubhouse, there were many crude drawings and plans pinned all over the walls. Sheesh, it looks like they have been at this for a while.

"So, our next plan is to attempt gymnastics!" Sweetie Belle sounded serious, but I was trying to suppress a laugh.

"Alright then. I used to have to watch gymnastics events in school, so I could probably help a little. I could even build a little setup for you... Assuming you have the materials."

They all nodded eagerly, and I followed them out of the clubhouse. We walked through the apple orchard to AJ's barn. I saw a bunch of red-painted wood nailed over where I had slammed into the side. Ah, memories...

We went inside the barn, and I saw a bunch of wood stacked up in a corner, along with a hammer and some nails.

"Are you sure we are allowed to be using this stuff?"

"Yeah! I saw big sis' sittin' it down in here, and she never used it."

"Alright. Lets get started."


After an hour of hard, non-stop labor, I marveled at my handiwork. I had pieced together a balancing stand, a pole-vault, and some hand- Er... Hoof rings. That was pretty easy.

"Alright then. First off, is the balancing stand. All you need to do is try to walk along it, balance on your front hoofs, stuff like that."

Scootaloo ran up and started first. She managed to balance along (With a lot of help from her wings), but she only stayed on her front hoofs for a few seconds, before she came tumbling down. Ouch.

"That was pretty good for a first try Scoots. Apple Bloom, your turn."

She trotted up to the balancing stand, and climbed on. She managed to stay balanced for a total of ten seconds before falling down.

"Alright, that was decent. Sweetie Belle, your up." Oh boy, this was going just swell.

Sweetie walked up, and didn't even manage to take her first step. Down she goes.

"Erm... Alright. Lets move on. The pole-vault. Just grab the pole in your mouth, run at the beams, and then thrust the pole down and try to get over the bar."

This time, Apple Bloom was the first up. She grabbed the pole, and ran as fast as her little legs could carry her. She stuck the pole in the ground, and she went flying. She slammed into the bar, but spun over it. Ouch...

"Hey, you made it across! Great job. Just try to release a little later, and you will get more air."

Here comes Scoots again. She grabbed the pole, and went running. She dug the pole into the ground, and fluttered her wings for more air. She went a little too far, and hit the side of the barn. Déjà vu.

I went over and helped her up. I could have sworn I saw her eyes spinning. She shook her head, and smiled sheepishly.

"That was good, but a little TOO good, Scoots."

I looked back over at the pole-vault and saw Sweetie Belle readying up. She tried, but she fell short of the bar, landing in the hay below. Good thing I set that up.

Before we could begin the hoof rings, I looked to the door and saw AJ, her eyes had a fire of anger in them.

"What. Have. Y'all. DONE!"

"WHAT NOW?" Was the only thought that ran through my head.

"I was plannin' on usin' that wood to build a shed! We need somewhere to keep all th' old tools we got lyin' around!"

"Heh, well ya see, there's a funny story about that..." I motioned for the Crusaders to come to me.

"Oh really? Well I got a funny story fer' you too. It's called WORKIN' UNTIL Y'ALL PAY FER' THEM SUPPLIES!"

"Sounds nice AJ... But..." I grabbed the Crusaders, and flew off. I have to thank Twilight later.

"Y'ALL GET BACK HERE!" No chance. This was probably going to come back and bite me later, but I really didn't feel like working for hours on end.


After hiding out for a half an hour, we went back to the clubhouse. Next thing on the list... "DJing." What a coincidence. I happened to be DJ 1NS4N1TY.

"So, how are you gonna help us with this one, Kyle? DO you know DJ P0N3 or something?" Oh Scoots, you silly filly... I have been talking to Pinkie too much.

"I just happen to be a popular DJ."

"What?" They all said at once. How cute.

"Ever heard of DJ 1NS4N1TY?"

"Yeah. He was discovered by DJ P0N3. Why, you know him?"

"Know him? Scoots, I AM him." All of them dropped their jaws. I chuckled.

"Alright, lets go to my house. I have all of my equipment there."


I took them to my recording studio. They looked around, and I heard a volley of "Oohs" and "Aahs". This equipment wasn't cheap.

"Alright, now lemme show you how it's done..." I grabbed my laptop from a table nearby, and plugged it into one of the machines. I sat it down and brought up my remix software, and put my hands on the slider.

After a minute, I was banging my head to the rave music I had going. I put my hands on the turntable to my left, and started adding some record scratched to the song. Vinyl Scratch would be proud to be hearing this right now.

I ended the song, and stopped the recording. I looked at the Crusaders. They were staring in awe. I grinned ear to ear. This was the first time anyone had seen me recording.

"That... That was..." They were all saying this at different intervals. I helped them finish their sentence.


"Yeah." Again, in unison.

"Alright, now, lemme explain what each of these do. Now, this slider right here, it adjusts the bass of the music..."


I finished my explanation, and let them all try it at once. I had seen groups working one setup before.

I was amazed my ears didn't start bleeding. The horrible sounds that came out of the speakers almost brought me to my knees. I couldn't stop them, I was too busy trying to survive the assault on my eardrums. Besides, it looked like they were having fun. But after about five minutes, I had to stop it.

"OK, THAT'S IT!" I jumped at the off button. The horrible noises stopped. Phew...

"Awwww... But it sounded great!" Scootaloo...

"Yeah... Didn't it?" Apple Bloom...

"I hope I didn't break anything..." Sweetie Belle...

I wanted to tell them the truth, but my kind nature didn't let me.

"It was great... For your first try... But how about something else?"

Then, they hit the on button, and they all yelled: "ONE MORE TRY!"

"Celestia have mercy on me..." They started making... That... Again.


I walked back into their clubhouse, they all had satisfied looks on their faces. They all started looking at each other.

"Where is it?"

"Do ah' have one?"

"What does mine look like?"

None of them had their marks, obviously. I felt sorry for them. They all looked so disappointed.

They looked at me with the saddest faces I have ever seen.

"Alright. What's next on the list. I'm not giving up until you all have your cutie marks."

They all smiled and grabbed the list.

"Next is... Performing."

"Sounds easy enough. I think I know exactly who can do what.

Scoots, you can do the stunts and special effects.

Sweetie Belle, you can do the singing.

Apple Bloom, you can do costumes."

They all grimaced.

"But..." What is up with the speaking in unison?

"No buts. Who is the coach here?" They all sighed.

We set off to work on the play. When we got to town, I asked Pinkie if she could set up a stage for us and get everypony to gather that night. She answered the only way she knew how.


We went to the stage and began to rehearse. We had 4 hours.


I looked out of the curtain. Every pony in Ponyville was here. I felt the nervousness rush through me.

"Are you all sure you remember the lines?"

"Yep!" How do they coordinate their speech like that?

I heard the ponies outside starting to get restless. We couldn't stall them for long. I walked over to Pinkie.

"We're ready."

She nodded, and I walked out the back and around to my seat in the front. "Reserved for Kyle" Oh Celestia, what have I gotten myself into.

"Hello everypony!" Pinkie sounded perfectly calm. I wish I could say the same for myself.

"Are you ready for a super-duper performance tonight? It was planned by one of my best friends, Kyle!"

Everypony looked at me. The nervousness was overwhelming. I wanted to be sick.

"So, lets start the show!" She bounced off stage and I saw the curtains rise. The Crusaders were standing there, looking around, then to me. They were obviously as nervous as I was. I looked back at them all and nodded. They nodded back.

Sweetie Belle took a breath, and began to sing.


After the play, everypony stood up and applauded. I ran around and went backstage. I walked over to the girls. I was so proud of them.

They looked at me, and they all jumped on me, hugging me.

"That went great! Thanks Kyle! I loved getting to set up all of the effects, it was awesome!"

"Well gosh, I knew I was good with a needle n' thread, but the costumes was great!"

"I've never sung like that... Ever!"

They all got off of me, and I smiled. "I think you all found your talents." I looked at their flanks. Nothing. They noticed what I was looking for, and they looked to. They immediately frowned.

"Now, don't be upset. You just need to perfect your skills is all. Just keep trying, and those cutie marks will be there in no time."

I left with them to take them all home, as it was late.

I've never been prouder.

Chapter 18: I HATE Karma...

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I walked down the road, looking at all of the stores and restaurants. I tipped my hat (Which I had completely forgotten about) downwards to keep the sun out of my eyes, and unbuttoned my jacket (Which I had also completely forgotten about) a little. I had been picking these things up and putting them on every day when I went out, both on Earth and in Equestria. I guess it just became routine and slipped from my mind.

I was walking into Sugarcube Corner, when I heard a yell come from behind me. "AHA! I CAUGHT'CHA! GET BACK HERE YA' DIRTY CRETIN!" Was that... AJ? Who is she-

Then, a memory snapped into my head.

"I was plannin' on usin' that wood to build a shed! We need somewhere to keep all th' old we got lyin' around!"

Oh... Dear...

'"AHHHHH!" I was screaming as I sprinted down the street, running from AJ's wrath. Karma, why me?

"Y'ALL BETTER RUN!" She was catching up. Yikes!

I noticed some construction nearby. Somepony was repairing a square hole in their roof. I suddenly remembered The Doctor.

I climbed up a set of makeshift stairs and got onto the rooftops. This is VERY dangerous.

I was hopping across rooftops, stumbling after each jump. My heart skipped a beat after every one.

"You gotta come down from there sooner er' later!" Oh no, she was right. I was running out of rooftop. And before I could stop myself, I ran right off the edge of the last roof.

"WOAH!" I landed in a barrel. Thankfully, it was empty. But I was stuck in it. AJ trotted up and looked in the barrel, a sinister smile on her face. "Have I got some work fer' you, buddy boy."

She started rolling the barrel towards Sweet Apple Acres.


After we had arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, AJ had her brother, Big Macintosh, kick the barrel open. They both glared at me.

"Uh... Apple Bloom said it was OK to use that stuff..."

"Ah don't wanna hear it. Y'all used it, so y'all r' gonna pay fer' it."

"Eeyup." Her brother said that with an almost smug tone.

"Alright, so what do I have to do? I don't have my shoulder pad, so I can't apple buck..."

"Oh no, I don't want ya' doin' somethin' y'all's used t' doin'. You're gonna paint th' barn."


"Then replant all'a th' old apple trees." She pointed to a barren plot of land with hundreds of tree stumps.


"Then, y' c'n help fix all th' apple pies fer' tomorrow. We only need a few hundred."


"That should about cover all th' materials y'all used." Oh, you think? Here we go...


I grabbed red and white paint buckets, and a brush. I sat them down outside of the old barns door, and went inside to grab a ladder that was always sitting there. I noticed that the crater I had left was still there, covered by a few planks of wood. Wow.

"And Ah' don't wanna see you until every INCH of this here barn is covered with fresh paint."

"Yes ma'am." I had half a mind to bolt, but I saw that AJ had left Big Mac behind to guard. Bugger.

I got to painting, and decided to try striking up a conversation with Big Mac.

"So... AJ never mentions you."


"Umm... Anything new going on?"


"Would you care to tell me?"


Ugh... WAIT! New idea...

"Any mares in your life? You seem like the kind of guy girls would be all over."

He reacted immediately to that.

"Now what makes you reckon Ah'd wanna talk about that?"

"Well, it's what I hear a lot of stallions talking about." That made me realize that I only hang out with one stallion.

"I have a mare in my life. I'll tell you about her, if you promise to tell me about yours." I negotiated.

"Ah' reckon that sounds fair."

"She's really pretty, and nice too. She is a lot like me. Rational, but sorta like a loose cannon, and loves to party. She has quick wits, too. I was real nice to her when I first got here."

"Would ya like t' tell me her name?"

"I won't tell if you won't."

He grumbled. "Alright, then Ah'm only hintin' towards who it is too."

"Fine by me." I continued painting while he described his crush.

"She's real nice, and loves t' help people. She don't talk much, but I don't neither."

"It's Fluttershy, isn't it."

"DANGIT! How'd ya know?"

"As soon as you said she loves to help people."

"I guess that was kinda a giveaway..."

We laughed. I noticed I was almost done with half of one side of the barn.

"Alright, keep workin'. I don't wanna be out here all day."

I went back to my painting.


After I had finished painting, we went on to plant the apple tree seeds. Big Mac had agreed to help me. He was a little rough around the edges, but he was a nice guy once he opened up to you.

We started planting the seeds, one at a time, after digging up each stump. I was using a shovel, Big Mac was kicking them until they flew out of the ground.

We were making good time, and I decided to strike up a conversation.

"So, why do you like Fluttershy, asides from the fact you're both kinda quiet?"

"Well, she's real kind, and Ah' love animals like she does."

"Oh. Well, I guess you would like animals, you are a farmer after all."

"Yeah. Ah' jus' wish she weren't so shy. Any time Ah' approach her, she runs away."

"Maybe she feels the same way?"

His head shot up and he looked directly at me. "Y' think so?"

"Dude, look at the facts. You two have a lot in common. You are the shy, quiet farmer boy from the other side of town, the kind of thing that makes a girl melt, and she runs off every time you approach. You do the math."

He pondered that for a minute or two, then he nodded. He was grinning ear to ear for the rest of the time.


After finish up with the apple tree planting, we went to the Farmhouse. Big Mac went off to his room to rest, and I walked into the kitchen. I saw a very elderly mare with a walker. She seemed to have a bad hip, and arthritis almost everywhere. Ouch...

"Uh... Ma'am? I'm here to help you bake pies..." I took my hat and jacket off and put them on the coat hangar near the doorway.

"Oh, yes! Applejack told me about ya, sweetie. Come here, let me show ya what ya need to do..."

I was memorizing the recipe and trying to keep the instructions in my head. I was hopeless when it came to cooking. I remembered the first time I tried to use the oven back on Earth... I almost burned the house down. Oh no...

"Well, what d'ya think sweetie? Are ya up to it?" She was such a sweet old woman. I remembered my grandma.

"Alright, yeah. How hard can it be to make a few pies?"

"Y' remind me of Applejack when she was a young'un. Always rarin' t' go." Yep, sounded like her.

I started to get the ingredients.


After a while, I pulled the pie out of the oven. It looked a little hard around the crust, but not bad for my first try. But cooking wasn't really my shtick.

"Well, Ah' reckon that's pretty good fer' a first try. I darn near burned th' house down on mah' first try." She grinned, and I noticed she had no teeth left.

"Yeah, well my Mom was a good cook, and I helped her every once in a while."

I went to get another pie ready. I wanted to make conversation to pass the time.

"So, what's your story?" I asked the old mare casually.

"Well, what'dya mean?"

"I mean, what did you do when you were young?"

She winced, trying to remember. Then a look of realization came across her face.

"I used t' be an apple bucker, like Applejack. I was good at it, but I jus' couldn't get int' it. One day, mah' Ma got sick, and Ah' had t' cook fer' th' whole family. After Ah' got done cookin', everypony dug in, and they all said it was th' best food they ever tasted. When I saw everypony starin' at Mah' flank, I looked too. Then I saw this here Cutie Mark. An apple pie. Seems fittin' t' me."

The story brought warmth to my heart. Such an old woman being able to remember stuff like that made me feel even happier. I went back to helping with the pies.


I was finally done. Applejack looked at me in disbelief.

"Y' managed t' finish ALL them chores?"

"Yeah, well, I can be a pretty dependable guy when I set my mind to it."

She couldn't help but grin at that. "Well alright then, Yer' free t' go."

I waved goodbye to the Apple family, and walked out the door. After only a few steps out the door, my body seized up. I couldn't move, I just stood there.

"Hey, Ah' said Yer' free t' go!"

I fell to my knees, and darkness began to overtake my vision.

I just barely heard Big Mac's voice. "Kyle! Are ya' OK?"

Then I fell flat on the ground, and the darkness crept in to the last shreds of consciousness I had.

Chapter 19: Work Takes It's Toll, And Gives It's Awards.

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I opened my eyes. I was on a bed somewhere. I looked over, and Fluttershy smiled.

"Oh, I see you're awake. You collapsed from exhaustion. I told Applejack she shouldn't have worked you so hard."

"Yeah, that's what I thought happened." I groaned as I got up. I was stiff all over, and it hurt to move.

"Oh no! You shouldn't be up and about. You need a few hours to recover."

"Relax, I've been through worse on Earth. I remember one time when my grandparents worked me so hard, I was asleep for two days."

She grimaced at that. I tried to walk down the stairs, but trying to bend my knees was too much, and I fell down right on my rear end.

"See? You need to rest."

"I'm fine." I stood back up, and tried to go down the stairs again, ignoring the sharp pain in my knees.

"Umm... Are you sure you're OK? I would feel awful if you got hurt. Maybe I should go with you..."

"Yeah... That would probably help."


Me and Fluttershy walked through the streets of Ponyville. I was making my regular rounds, checking in with Mr. and Mrs. Cake, visiting the library to read and help Twilight with a few spells, and just mill about, wasting my time away. I was in pain the whole time, but that never got me. I just ignored it. Fluttershy was keeping a close eye on me though.

"Listen, you don't need to follow me anymore. I'm fine."

"Well, you're my friend, and I'm worried. I want to make sure you stay fine. it's what friends do."

I sighed. She had me beat there.

"Well, what do you want to do now?" I had nothing else to do, and I didn't want to waste her time.

"Well... I am a little hungry."

"Then let's get something to eat. My treat. You did take care of me while I was unconscious, it's the least I can do."

She smiled. Now to find a restaurant.


We stopped into a restaurant that didn't seem familiar to me, but Fluttershy said she ate there all the time, so it can't be that bad.

She order a dandelion sandwich, and I ordered eggs, which were pretty much all I ate... Aside from the occasional apple or apple based dish, or sweets.

We talked about our friends for a little while, Fluttershy being concerned about Rainbow Dash's recklessness, which I dismissed as a thirst for adrenaline. Then, she let something slip out.

"...And this new romance novel-" She let out an embarrassed squeak after saying that. I raised an eyebrow. Romance novel?

"Oh... Don't judge me for liking those sappy books. I already got that from Rainbow Dash a while ago."

"Why would I judge you? I love romance novels. They are full of suspense and passion, and they always have me wondering what will happen next!" I smiled, and she had a big grin on her face. It was obvious that there weren't many ponies with her interests.

"Well, there is this book I wanted to get. It is about a couple who aren't allowed to be together by word of their parents." That sounded very familiar...

"Sounds good. How about I go with you?"



At the library, I saw Twilight deep in her books, and Rarity sifting through the shelves. Rarity looked down at us, and smiled.

"Oh, hello Fluttershy. I see you and Kyle are here." The snooty unicorn grinned mischievously. "Are you two on a date?"

The shy ponie's jaw dropped, and she hid behind her mane. I remained perfectly calm, not letting the snide remark get to me.

"No. It just so happens that me and Shy wanted to get the same book, so we came here together. She needs to keep an eye on me anyway. I was out cold from working too hard."

Rarity's grin fell into a frown. She was obviously not satisfied by my reaction. "Well all right then. Twilight! I would like to check out my book..." Twilight looked up from her book, and walked over to the counter. She checked out Rarity's book, and the tailor pony left, glancing at me and Fluttershy quickly before leaving.

"All right, now that SHE'S gone, let's look for the book." We split up, searching all over, until Fluttershy walked over and showed it to me. We took it to the counter.

"Hey, Twilight, Me and Shy would like to check out something."

"All right... But this is a romance novel. Kyle, I didn't know you were into romance!" Twilight smiled at me.

"I'm into a lot of things guys normally aren't into."

"Well, it's nice to see you're open-minded. Enjoy the book!"

Me and Shy walked back to her cottage. At first I wanted to part ways with her and go home, but she insisted I stay with her for the night to finish making my full recovery. I couldn't say no to that face.


I sat with Shy on her sofa, and we read the book together. It reminded me of Romeo and Juliet, only in more modern terms, and with ponies.

Fluttershy began to tear up after we got to the part where Ponio and Foaliett (The nicknames I had given to the main characters of the story) were separated by their parents.

"That's horrible!"

"Yeah, I know. But I think it will get better near the end of the story..." I was hoping it didn't end like Romeo and Juliet did, or I was going to have to console Shy for hours.

Fluttershy yawned, and she laid down, folding her legs under her. She eventually drifted off to sleep. Good thing to, we were getting to the really sad parts. I closed the book after marking the page. I looked back at her. She looked adorable when she slept.

I patted her on the head, and closed my eyes. Today turned out pretty well, and I got to know Fluttershy a lot better. But now, it was time to get some rest.

Chapter 20: Jealousy

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: There will be a few moments in the story where the viewpoint switches between . I will notify you of this, so no worries.

"*Snore* And IIIII... *Snore* Will always... Love youuuuuu... *Snore*"

I was singing in my sleep again, meaning I was sleeping peacefully. I felt something brush against my leg.

"NO MORE EVIL BISCUITS!" I yelled as I woke up.

Fluttershy's eyes popped open, and she jumped up. "EEP!"

She looked at me. "Oh my. Did you scream? Were you having a nightmare?"

"I don't know... it involved Rainbow Dash, a giant evil biscuit, and half a tub of gelatin."

"Oh... OK?" She sounded confused. Honestly, I didn't, and still don't, know either.

"Just don't worry about it. I dream about weird stuff all the time."

"Alright." She sounded relieved.

"Well, I had best get going. You can keep that book, Shy. I already read it... Sorta."

"Oh, thank you!" I didn't have the heart to tell her how it would end.


I was walking home, when I saw Big Mac looking around the street where I live. What could he want?

"Hey Big Mac, what's up?" He looked at me. He looked quite cross. What did I do now?

"Ya' was hangin' out with Fluttershy yesterday, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, ya' told me she pro'lly felt the same way about me, an' then ya' go an' spend a day with her?"

"Dude, I wasn't trying anything."

"Ya' better not have been..."

Great. I had him angry at me just because I spent a day with one of my best friends. I sensed a hint of paranoia...

"Big Mac, calm down. I would never try anything. Don't you think it would be a little weird for a human to be going out with a pony?" Yuck...

"Yeah, Ah' reckon so..." He put his hoof on the back of his head, rubbing his mane apologetically.

"No hard feelings, 'kay?" I reached my hand out to shake his hoof.

"None." He shook my hand.

I nodded at him, and walked inside. I put my hat and jacket on the floor next to my door, and took off my shoes. Time to relax with some music-making.


I had forgotten: I had planned to hang out with Shy today. Bugger. I turned off my music station, and bolted downstairs, put everything on, and ran out the door. I almost immediately ran into the shy yellow pegasus.

"I'm sorry Shy, I completely forgot." I hung my head in shame.

"It's OK. I thought that's what had happened, so I came here instead. May I come inside?"

"Sure." I stepped out of the way and let her in. Good thing I had cleaned up the day before, otherwise it would have been a wreck.

"So, what do you wanna do?" I normally let people coming to my house decide what to do.

"Actually, I wanted to see where the famous DJ 1NS4N1TY made his music." She grinned. She's into rave music?

"I had no idea you liked music like that."

"Oh, yes. I love all kinds of music."

"Then come this way, humble fan, my studio is just upstairs." I made a formal gesture to the stairs.



I looked into the window of Kyle's house, and I saw Fluttershy walking in. "What th' hay is he up to now?"

He was talking to her. He looked surprised. "What's she sayin' t' him?"

I couldn't hear through the window, it was too thick. He made a formal gesture to the stairs, and the ascended. "Uh-Oh."

I waited until they were all the way upstairs, and trotted over to his door. He forgot to lock it. "Idiot." I pushed the door open and quietly went up the stairs. I was looking for them for a few minutes, when I heard loud music start to come from one of the rooms.

I galloped towards the sound of the music, not worrying about stealth seeing as to how this music was so loud the world could explode and they wouldn't hear.

I pressed my ear to the door the music was coming from, and I could barely make out the words of their conversation over the music.

I heard Fluttershy say: "Oh my, it's so big!"



"Oh my, it's so big!" I said over the music. Kyle had so many recording and mixing machines all hooked together. What a large setup.

"Well, I need all of this if I wanna be a good DJ!" He shouted over the music.

I was enjoying myself. I really liked Kyle, and he really liked me back. At least, that's what it seemed like. I was smiling as he pulled on the sliders and spun records to mix and match the musical sounds. It was wonderful.

"So, how many of my parties have you been to?" He was still shouting. The mixmaster headphones on his head didn't lower his tone. I didn't mind.

"About five."

"And you never came up to make a request?"

"I was too scared. I didn't know what you would think."

"I think it's cool that such a timid mare like you enjoys music like this! You're pretty awesome!"

That last statement send my heart aflutter. I blushed, and looked away. At that moment, the door was pounded inwards, and it made me jump.



I turned off the machine and spun around to see why my door just slammed. I saw Big Mac standing there, an angry fire in his eyes.

"Dude! What the hay!?!?" I was almost as angry as he was. I was really in the zone!

"Y'all git' away from her..."

"Ummm... What's going on?" Fluttershy seemed pretty scared.

"I haven't the faintest friggin' idea."

"Ya' know full well what was goin' on in here." Yeah. I was making awesome music with one of my fans before YOU showed up.

"It's so big? Too scared? Yer' pretty awesome?" I noticed how many innuendos were in those sentences. Why was he-

I looked at Shy, and then thought a minute... OH MY GODDESSES.

"You... Think we... Were...."


I started laughing. Fluttershy didn't know what was going on.

"Dude! We were just-HAHAHAHA-We were just making music! She is a big fan of mine, and she wanted to see my setup."

"A fan? Yer' famous?"

"I'm DJ 1NS4N1TY."

He pondered that for a moment, and then looked at me, wide-eyed.

"Ah' didn't know ah' was friends with a celebrity... Sorry Kyle, Ah' made a big mistake. Can ya' ever forgive me?"

"Sure dude. I understand why you were mad." With that, he left.

"Ummm... I still don't understand..."

"It's OK, Shy. Just go home, I need some sleep..."

"OK. Thank you for showing me how you make your amazing music."

"No problem."

What an eventful evening that was...

Chapter 21: Once In A Blue Moon

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I sat on the blanket with my friends upon the hill. We all stared off into the night sky, admiring all of the stars.

"It's absolutely GORGEOUS! It's even giving me ideas for a new dress..." Oh Rarity.

"Wow, I didn't understand stargazing at first, but now that I stop and look at the night sky, it looks awesome!" It seemed as if Dashie was enjoying herself.

"It's beautiful..." Shy was being as quiet at always.

"Now I wanna have a star-themed party! YAY PRETTY BLUE STREAMERS AND A DISCO BALL!" Pinkie was as random as always.

"Well shoot Twilight, this was a mighty fine idea!" Applejack seems to have completely forgotten about nearly working me to death a few days ago.

"I think I see a constellation that looks like a muffin!" Yep. I knew Derpy would say something like that.

"Eeyup." Just guess who said that.

"Wow. This is actually quite interesting." Zeph had taken a few days to recover. He looked like a million bits.

"Well, I'm glad you're all enjoying yourself! Kyle is the one who suggested tonight to stargaze." Twilight was giving me more credit than I deserved. I just made an observation of the clouds to determine the weather...

Everypony looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but grin.


After everypony had left, I'd decided to stay behind and stare into the sky a little more. As I stared, I started to remember my family, my friends... Everypony I had left behind when I came to Equestria. I was having flashback after flashback. When they were done, I was on the verge of tears. I decided to just lay on the blanket and sleep on the hill that night. I slowly drifted off into sleep.

I awoke in a strange place. It was dark, but I could see... It was a strange feeling indeed. I looked down, and I saw that the ground was pure white... But it was moving... The particles almost looked like... Stars?

I looked back up, and I saw a purple alicorn with a dark blue mane that seemed to sparkle like the night sky itself. The alicorn had piercing green eyes...


And a VERY loud voice. I rubbed my ears and looked at her closely. Her Cutie Mark was the moon...

"Well... Yeah, it did. I have always loved the night... The light of the moon shining, the stars twinkling. The night gives me inspiration for many things."


I should have seen that coming.

"Woah. I met your sister..."



"So... What do you want from me?"


"Well, I am honored to meet you, Princess Luna."


"One request..."


"Do you think you could stop being so loud? My ears are ringing..."

"OH DEAR! SORRY- I mean, sorry. I did not mean to cause thee any discomfort."

"No harm done. So... I heard you were banished to the moon about one-thousand years ago?"

"Yes. I was twisted by corruption and my thirst for attention. I just wanted my people to notice me, either by respect... Or by fear. I brought an endless night upon this world, and my sister punished me for it. After I made my return as Nightmare Moon, I wished to seize control of this kingdom, but your friends managed to stop her."

"Her?" I was confused. Was Luna Nightmare Moon? Or was Nightmare Moon a different pony?

"Nightmare Moon is like my... Other personality. She came about from the insanity of the loneliness of the moon."

"I know what it's like to be alone, Luna... I was alone too. I was little then, only about five or six years old, but kids always made fun of me and hurt me. I had to go to the hospital once because a kid kicked my knee in. I was alone, dead to the world. Nobody noticed me, but when they did, they harassed me, beat me..." I shed a tear from those horrible memories. "But then, my best friend came along. He was one of those bullies, but he learned we had the same interests. One day, he helped me up, and told everybody else to lay off. But I haven't seen him for a month now... Ever since I came here."

She looked at me with understanding eyes.

"I know how thee feel, young human. But our time grows short. You must wake up."


I woke up on the hill. It was almost daylight. I looked around, and didn't see anypony. I was wondering what just happened, but I knew. I had met Princess Luna, and she wanted to talk to someone about her past. Someone who had the same problems she had...

Someone like me.

Chapter 22: The Darkness Of The Night

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After another uneventful day, I was back at home, getting ready for some sleep. When I had managed to fall asleep, however, I awoke in an eerily familiar place... Luna's "Dream World".

"Hello, Kyle. I am pleased to see that thou decided to show up."

"I didn't exactly 'decide' to show up, I was just... Here."

"Yes, thee may not have known it fully, but thee had it deep in thine mind that thou wanted to be here again." She smiled.

"Huh. I guess that makes sense. So, why am I allowed here again?" She hadn't told me the night before.

"Because I want somepony to talk to. Somepony who understands my problems." Oh.

"Like me..."


"So... What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"... I didn't actually think about all of that. What is it that thee normally talk about with thine friends?"

"Well, usually what had happened that day, but not much went on with me. What about you?"

"Actually, many eventful things have happened to me on this day."

We talked the night away.


I woke up, and I grinned. Another conversation-filled night with Luna. I got up, and got dressed. I went to go out the door, when I heard knocking. I tipped my hat upwards and opened the door.

"Kyle, I need your help." It was Zephyr.

"What is it? What did you do now?" I was hoping we hadn't had the "Dash Fiasco" again.

"Well, I've been banned from the Wonderbolts' performances after what I did, but their latest performance is going to include autograph signing at the end. I want that autograph."

"Hmmm..." Someone with enough power to un-ban Zeph from the performance...

I grinned as I remembered who I was talking to in my dreams.

"Zeph, let's get going."

"What? Where?"

"We're going to pay Princess Luna a visit."


Zeph and I flew side by side, rocketing towards Canterlot. It was extravagant, but that didn't surprise me. It was the city surrounding the royal palace, after all.

I walked to the gate, when two large guards stepped in our way. "Official business only." Bugger.

"Ummm... I'm a friend of Luna's..."

"Official buisness only."

I was starting to get irritated.

"Let them pass. I know who they are." I looked up and saw Princess Celestia smiling at me.

They looked at her, then back to us. They stepped out of the way, their expressions not changing. I remembered the guards outside of the palace in London.

"So, what brings you and your friend to my castle, Kyle?"

"I actually wanted to ask either you or Luna for a favor."

"You've met my sister?"


"She's doing the dream thing, isn't she."


Celestia grinned, and decided to let me see Luna. I walked into her room. Luna was laying on a large, round bed with dark purple sheets. The ceiling was painted like the night sky, as were the walls. The floor was made of marble tiles.

Luna looked up, and smiled when she saw me. She got up, and trotted over to me and Zeph, who hadn't said a work, but just looked around in awe.

"Ah, hello Kyle! It pleases me to see that thou hast come to visit."

"Yeah, it's nice to see you too. You are much more extravagant in real life."

She was surprised by the last comment, and took a step back. Apparently, she wasn't used to compliments.

"Anyways, I needed to ask you a favor."

"Anything for a friend such as thee."

"Do you think you could un-ban Zephyr here from the Wonderbolt's performances?"

She frowned at that, and trotted up to Zeph, who was scared, but didn't show it... Much. His knees were shaking a little.

"So... Thou are a friend of Kyle's?"


She looked him over a bit more, and smiled.

"OK. I will have thee un-banned."

He was practically beaming with happiness.

"Now, thou may leave. I with to speak with Kyle in private." What?

He flew out the door, and left me with the Princess of The Night.

"Kyle, we have been friends for only a few days. Thou understand that this is quite the favor thou hast asked of me, correct?"

"Yes, I understand that, but he is my friend too. I don't want to see him unhappy."

She smiled at my kindness.

"Alright. For my favor, thou must do one for me in return."


"I want thou to travel into the , to the old castle. Celestia abandoned it after banishing me, and some of my belongings remain there. Mainly, my stargazing equipment."

"Let me guess, you want me to go into the forest and get your stuff?"

"Thou is quick to pick up on things. Yes. Can thou do this?"

"Sure, piece of cake."

"What does cake have to do with thine objective?"

"No, it's- Ugh. Forget it. I have to get going. I'll be back with your stuff."


"You WHAT?" Twilight was looking at me like I was mad.

"I have to go into the and get Luna's old stuff. Easy as pie."

"No, I don't think you understand." Twilight seemed pretty serious. She had everypony else with her.

"Darling, I wouldn't want to see you get hurt... You're clothing is custom-made. You are making me a fortune!" Gee, thanks Rarity.

"It isn't safe in there. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt..." Fluttershy was being concerned as always.

"Besides, it's weird in there!" Rainbow Dash wasn't as smug about things as she normally was. "The clouds move on their own..."

"The animals take care of themselves, without any community..." Twilight sounded frightened of this.

"And plants grow on their own..." Fluttershy was barely audible.

"Yes. Just like on Earth."

"WHAT?" They all said in unison.

"Yes! The clouds, sun, AND moon all move by themselves, plants grow on their own, and people and animals can all survive on their own, without any aid."

"That sounds AWFUL!" Rarity was still being snobby...

"Wait! We do have ONE thing that could help you!" Pinkie was bouncing even more after saying that.

"We do?" Everypony said at once.

"Yeah! Zecora!" Pinkie said in her loud "Be proud of me" voice.

"Oh, yes! We have a friend that lives out there. She's a Zebra, and as Pinkie said, her name's Zecora. We used to think she was evil, but she turned out pretty cool." Dashie sounded very serious for once.

"Alright, if I see this "Zecora" I will meet her, but now, I have to go. Later." I walked out the door.

How bad could this possibly be?

Chapter 23: Into The Forest

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I walked through the gate near 's cottage, and I headed into the forest with a pouch of supplies. Some food, medicine, and a map, showing where Zecora lives.

"Seeya later everypony!" I shouted as I waved to my friends, who watched me go.

"Onwards and upwards... Allons-y!" I started running.

I had run through the forest for a good ten minutes before getting tired. I sat down on a tree around a few blue flowers, and looked at my map. Zecora's hut was only a half hours walk from here. I got up, and looked at the blue flowers that were near me. How pretty. I leaned down and felt one. They felt like cloth.

"How quaint."

I began my walk to meet with Zecora.

After wandering for a bit, the ground began to shake. "Oh bugger all!" I struggled to keep my balance and move on, and then the ground collapsed from under me. "HOLY FRI-"


I got up, and rubbed the back of my head. I was in some chamber or something. I looked around a bit, and found a statue of a pony. He was tall, and muscular. He had weights on his rear legs, and wore a cowboy hat. There was a bandanna around his neck.

"Who the bloody hay..." I shook it off, not thinking anything of it. I piled up some dirt, and used it as a pedestal to jump and grab the edge of the hole, I pulled myself out. Then, as if on cue, a big tree fell over, covering the hole.

A while after I had walked away, another earthquake began, and I could have sworn I heard the ground collapse again, and the sound of a filly yelling. I decided to not pay any mind to it, thinking it was just paranoia making the sounds.


I was feeling a little strange, and the hut was nowhere to be found. I was still wondering what that blue plant was. I began to feel my head swimming, and the world around me began to get distorted. What's going on!?!?

I blacked out for a moment, but then I awoke... I was laying down. I got up, and noticed it was my room from back on Earth! I was joyed to be home, but I remembered all of my pony friends, and felt bad that I had left them behind. But how was I back?

I didn't dwell on the question, and instead looked around the house for my mother.

"Mom?" No answer.

"Moooom?" Nothing.

"MOM!" Now I was worried. She was always home.

"MOM!!!" OK, something is going on here.

I went outside, and I noticed that all the houses were boarded up, and left behind. On further inspection, so was my house. The door was still left un-blocked though. I scratched my head in confusion and panic, and I started to look all around town. There were cars either abandoned or overturned in the streets, and I saw a few dark patches on the ground that were in the shape of people. This was freaky.

"Hello, Kyle." I heard a gravelly voice say behind me.

"GAH!" I jumped. I spun around to see who had just addressed me.

It was a strange old man, with white, messy hair. He was wearing a large robe, nothing else.

"So, you came back. But it is too late now. Everyone is dead. The ponies were investigating where you came from. When they discovered this world, and disintegrated everyone. They cleansed this wretched world. You are next."

"No... No this can't be happening!" I clutched my head and looked around. I saw all of the ponies I knew were gathering around me... But they looked different. Their eyes were... Empty.

As they closed in, they pushed me over and held me down. I heard the old man laughing maniacally, as the sky began to shine. I saw a rainbow fired down at me...


"No... No... NO!" I sprung up and looked around. I was in a strange building, with masks and potions everywhere. I was still alive, and I was in a hut in the forest.

"I heard you scream from your bad dream." The voice I heard had a strange accent to it. I looked over to see a zebra looking at me. She had gold rings around her neck, and a mohawk-like hairstyle.

"Where am I?"

"You are in my hut, you nut." This zebra apparently spoke in rhymes. That was going to get annoying.

"Are you Zecora?"

"That I am."

"What the hay happened to me?"

"The poison joke, it claimed your mind. I have cured you, with a potion of mine."

"Well, what does it do?"

"It takes over your mind and body, and brings into reality your deepest fear." I had feared going home and everyone being gone, and I knew that with my personality, I would have blamed the ponies...

"Thanks... Now can you tell me where the old castle is?"

"Ah, the ruins of an kingdom long forgotten. I will lead you there, although the place is most rotten."

"Thank you very much, Zecora. Lead the way. Allons-y."


We arrived at a ravine, and the bridge leading across had collapsed. I looked down at my and smiled.

"I must leave you now, good luck." Zecora trotted off. I flew across the gap. I looked at the old castle. This search will take a while. Good thing I'm good at this kind of thing. I walked inside, and noticed several old tapestries that were torn and moldy. This castle has been abandoned for a LONG time. I knew that stargazing equipment would be on the top floor, so I looked for some stairs. When I found the grand staircase, I climbed all the way to the top floor, gasping for breath afterwards.

This castle was much different than the one in Canterlot. It took me a few minutes to find the observatory. When I did, my mouth hung open.

A giant bear made of what seemed like plasma and stars was sleeping in the middle of it. Oh boy...

I noticed that it had Luna's stuff in its claws. Are you serious?

I snuck over to it, and I tried to pull the equipment out of its claws. I just barely managed to do so without disturbing it.

"Yes!" I said in a whisper.


My eyes widened, and my pupils were like the points on pins. I slowly turned around, and I noticed the face of the monster was a few inches from mine. It was breathing on me.

"Ummm... Hi."


"OKGOTTAGOSEEYA!" I sprinted towards the stairs, which immediately collapsed. Why does karma want me killed?

I looked around frantically for a way out. I noticed that one of the windows was cracked and ready to break. I ran at it.

I dove through the window, the glass digging into my skin. I was screaming as I fell. I was trying to focus on my so I could fly, but the mental link was broken by panic.

Then, I felt myself land on something. I looked down to see Zephyr flying us away from the castle, and the forest.

"Zeph? How did you..."

"Rainbow Dash told me you were heading into the forest, so I followed you out here to make sure you didn't get yourself hurt."

"Oh. Well thanks dude. You saved my life!"

"Don't mention it." I could tell my the look in his eyes that he was proud of himself. I was proud of him too.

"Let's get this stuff to Luna."

I wanted to get this over with, and never think of it again.

Chapter 24: Favor Repaid, Time To Relax.

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After Zeph dropped me off at Canterlot, I headed into the castle, the guards looking ahead, unwavering. I walked up to Luna's room, and put her stargazing equipment down near her window. I could tell she was holding in a squee.

"Thank you... So much!"

"No problem Luna. Anything to help a friend."

With that, I left. Time to relax, and have a party. I headed straight for Pinkie Pie's when I got back to Ponyville.

When I walked into the shop, Pinkie was sitting at the counter, bored.

"Pinkie, get a party ready. I'm getting my equipment, we are going to rave the night away."

She just smiled ear to ear.


The party was raging in front of me, and I just had regular party music playing. Vinyl Scratch looked at me quizzically, and I smiled like a nutjob. After the song ended, I turned my hat around and grabbed my microphone.

"Hey everyone... DJ 1NS4N1TY here... Get ready for my latest hit!" Everypony cheered.

I plugged in my laptop, opened some mixing software, and started live streaming music straight to the party. The building was shaking as the bass of the song blasted out of the speakers. Vinyl laughed. I was too busy banging my head to laugh back.

Fluttershy walked up, much to my surprise.

"Finally mustered up the courage to talk to 1NS4N1TY, eh?"

She grinned and blushed. It isn't every day you get to talk to a celebrity.

"Well, Actually... I had a suggestion..."

"Oh really? Let's hear it then."

"I want you to play the first song you ever made."

I just looked at her.

"Are you sure? It isn't danceable. In fact, it may be too fast for anypony to even comprehend some of the song!"

"I'm sure. I've been curious to hear how you started."

I smiled and nodded. I pulled out my MP3 Player and plugged it into my laptop. I streamed the music to the software, and to the DJ setup.

The music started, and everyone just looked at the speakers, and they all started smiling wildly. I saw heads go up and down. Mine too.


The next morning, I woke up next to Vinyl Scratch again. She was laying across my stomach, out cold from partying so hard.

"Ohhhhhh..." I groaned as I got up. I felt great, but I was still crashed from last night. Vinyl rolled off of me and stayed on the ground. She must have actually partied with the crowd, something she wasn't used to. I saw Fluttershy walk up to me.

"That was... Amazing." She was beaming with fangirl-ishness.

I cracked my neck. "Yeah, well it isn't my best work. I made that in one go."

She stared at me, amazed. "You do all of your songs in one go?"

"Yeah, I never change anything. I do everything in one go to keep that 'natural' feel to the song."

"That's clever. I had best get home, my animals are waiting. See you later Kyle."

"Laters, Shy." I had to get home myself...


I sat at home, wondering what would happen next.

"Friends with Luna, sent into that forest, partying until I pass out... What next?"

I couldn't imagine anything else exciting happening, unless the TARDIS decides to fall through my roof again. But then again, if that happened, I would kill The Doctor. I looked at my watch. 2:00pm. Wow...

I was about to drift back into sleep when I heard knocking on my door...

Chapter 25: Revelations

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I went to open the door. I was surprised to see it was Big Mac.

"Hey, Mac. What's up?"

"Ah' need t' talk t' ya'." He sounded serious.


We sat down.

"Ah' know Ya' want me an' t' be together, but... Ah' got a feelin' she likes YOU."

"Well of course she likes me, I'm her friend."

Big Mac facehoofed.

"No. I mean, she LIKES ya'."

"Wha- OH." Well... GREAT.

"Ah'm yer' friend, so I wanna help Ya'. We need t' think of a way t' get her to understand how ya' feel, and how Ah' feel."

"Hmmm... Maybe she isn't after ME." I had an idea.

"What d'ya mean?"

"I mean, she might be into DJ 1NS4N1TY, not me." I remembered how much of a fangirl she had been.

"Hmmm... That sounds like it could be it. Now how d' yah reckon we figger that out?"

"I will spend a day with her as plain old me, then a day with her as DJ 1NS4N1TY. I will note any behavioral changes." Good thing I liked studying psychology.

"Sounds good." He smiled. I did too. It felt good to be helping a friend.


I walked up to Fluttershy's cottage, nervous as to how I would go about doing this. I mean, this was technically like asking her out on a date. I felt weird asking a member of another species out.

I knocked on her door, and she opened the door. She smiled when she saw it was me.

"Oh, hi Kyle. How are you?"

"I'm great, Shy. Hey... Do you wanna... Y'know... Hang out?"

She looked at me, confused, then looked away, drifting into thought. Then her face turned red as she realized what I was asking her. That made me feel VERY weird.

"Oh... M-my... Ummm... Y-y-yes!" She perked up, some of the red leaving her face. I put on a fake smile.

"So... Wanna go do something now?"

"Sure. I just finished feeding the animals. I'm free for the rest of the day... How about a picnic?"

"That sounds great."

She nodded, and ran inside. I heard some shuffling, and the sounds of cupboards opening and closing. She came back after a minute.

"I've got the basket ready. Let's go." She didn't seem as shy as she normally did. I guess it was the excitement of the situation.

"Alright. Onwards and upwards, allons-y!"


We went up to the hill where I had first met Luna. Fluttershy rolled out the blanket and set the picnic up. I have never felt this awkward in my LIFE.

She finished setting up, and we sat down, eating the sandwiches Shy made.

"Wow Shy, these are really good!" I used to think vegetarians were a little kooky, but now I see why they do it!

"Oh, thank you. I had those from yesterday. Angel helped me make them."


"My pet rabbit."

"Oh, I saw some pictures of him in your cottage."

"Yes, he usually hides in his little house when strangers come by."

"Well I guess I have to be more than a stranger then."

I immediately noticed what I had said, and turned my head in embarrassment. Fluttershy's face color changed to a deep crimson.

"Oh... My... Well, I would... Like that."


"Kyle, there's something I've been meaning to tell you..."

Oh Goddesses, Big Mac was right.

"After that day you and I stayed together, I started having these... Feelings..."

I tried not to blush, but I couldn't help it. This was the first time a living creature had ever felt this way about me.

"I wondered what these feelings were..." Her face was getting redder by the second. "So I started reading through my novels..."

"Oh no..."

"Kyle..." What she said next nearly made me keel over.

Big Mac is going to KILL ME.


After Fluttershy said... What she said... I made a mad dash for Sweet Apple Acres. I needed to tell Big Mac, and hope he had some mercy on me.

I ran up to the door and started banging on it.

Applejack opened the door, looking bewildered. "Kyle? What th' hay is up with you?"

"No time to explain. Where's Big Mac?"

"In his room."

"Thanks AJ." I looked around the rooms, and I saw Mac sitting on his bed. He frowned when he saw my expression.

"She likes ya', don't she?" He sounded both disappointed, and angry.

"Y-yeah..." I was still trying to gather my thoughts.

"Welp, I guess this was bound t' happen. It ain't yer' fault, Kyle. I'm not mad at ya'... I'm mad at mahself."


"Fer' not havin' the courage to fess up t' her sooner."

"Well, I need to find a way to make her stop feeling this way about me... FAST. I honestly don't want this kind of stuff in my life. I stopped believing in love a LONG time ago."

"Well, sorry. I can't help ya' with that. I dunno how t' stop a mares feelin's. yer' on yer' own."

Screw. My. Life.


I sat in my house, conflicting emotions battling it out in my head.

"If you don't convince her to stop feeling this way, she will be all over you!"

"But, this could be your chance at a real relationship."

Ugh... I wish my mind would just shut up.

I went up to my recording studio, and started making some music to help me think. The music was slow, and angry. Much like how I felt.

"Grrrr... Why can't I think straight? I know Shy isn't the one I like... Or is she?" I really didn't know anymore.

"Maybe if I put how I felt in a song... She wouldn't be so crushed to hear it... Unless I want this to grow into something more..."

WHY ME!?!?

Then, I felt a rush of relief as I heard the familiar voice of a stallion.


"ZEPH. THANK THE GODDESSES YOU'RE HERE!" I was shouting as I turned off the music and ran down to him.

"Sheesh, what happened to you?" Oh. Right. He didn't know.

"You might wanna sit down. This is a shocking story." I'm still shocked.


I explained everything to him. His expression didn't change, but I could tell he was worried.

"Sounds like you're in a tight spot."

"Yeah, no kidding. Any advice?" I needed all the help I could get.

"How about you do what I did to Dash? Act like you're obsessed with her. She might get annoyed and tell you she just wants to be friends."

I pondered this. This could work... "Zeph... You are a FREAKING GENIUS."

He smiled, and got up. "I'll leave you to that. I have to get out and practice."


"Yeah. If romance doesn't get Dash, maybe joining the Wonderbolts will."

Oh boy.

"Good luck, Zeph. I got some creeping to do."

Goddesses help me.

Chapter 26: Why Me?

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I hid in some bushes near Fluttershy's cottage. I had placed a single rose (Cheesy I know) with a note that said "Guess who?" I felt like a real creep doing this... But it was a good idea, and after what happened to Zeph, I was hoping I would get the same results.

Fluttershy opened her door to leave, but noticed what was sitting on her doorstep. She read the note, and her wings extended when she blushed. Oh goodness, she really DID love me. She took the rose inside, probably to put them in a vase. I snuck to the nearest street and walked around aimlessly, acting as if I had done nothing.

"Oh, h-hi Kyle."

"Hey Shy. How goes it?"

"Well a certain romantic someone left me a nice gift. I have to thank them." She walked away with an understanding look... But she didn't understand. DANG IT.

"Crud..." I have to try again...


After a week of playing stalker, it just made things worse. I should have seen this coming... Since when do my plans ever work? Maybe Twilight can help me. She always reads books, she has to have come across SOMETHING.

I walked into the library to see Twilight sitting on her sofa, reading a book.

"Hey, Twilight."

"Oh, hello there, Mr. Shy." She grinned when she said that. I felt my hope shatter.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?!?" I was not happy about this ordeal.

Twilight took a step back. I had apparently frightened her by lashing out like that. I took a deep breath.

"Sorry. I just don't feel like hearing anything like that. I didn't ask her out to go out with her. I wanted to know if she really had... Feelings for me. Sadly, my plan worked too well."

Twilight looked at me, and sighed. "I suppose you came for advice then?"


"Alright. I know a lot about pony psychology, and I know that most ponies prefer the direct approach. Just tell her! Even though it is Fluttershy, she won't hate you for it."

I groaned, knowing that something would go wrong if I tried that. "Are you SURE there isn't any other way?"

"Well..." I saw a swish of pink hair from upstairs, and looked back at Twilight to see her horn glowing.

"Fluttershy really wants this, and I know enough about your mentality to know that you want a relationship. Sorry, but I have to do this..."

I realized what kind of spell she was casting. "NONONONONO!"

The magic blasted out of her horn, and I ducked, narrowly dodging the spell. I ran out the door. I needed a place to hide. Rarity would probably help.


I ran into the boutique, and I saw Rarity looking at me, puzzled.

"Rarity! I need a place to hide! Twilight is helping Fluttershy in her crazy plot to make me love her, and I need somewhere to hide, NOW."

"Oh dear... Well I can definitely help darling. See that pile of cloth over there? Get behind that."

"THANK YOU!" I dove behind the cloth, trying to keep myself hidden as much as possible. I tipped my hat down, as it was sticking out from behind the cloth.

Right after I hid, I heard the bell over the door jingle.

"Rarity! Kyle is hiding from Fluttershy. He is delusional, and in denial of his feelings." Twilight, you have no idea how wrong you are.

"I hope we aren't scaring him..." Fluttershy...

"Don't worry darlings... I'm sure he's fine." I heard her clear her throat, and then I heard hoofsteps coming towards my position. The cloth starting glowing with a familiar purple glow. Rarity had tricked me.

"Aha! Now stop running, we know how you really feel, and we want to help you." Twilight was so wrong about human psychology it was scaring me.

"Ummm... Well... You see..." I wished I could have used my shoes to fly out of there, but the panic in my mind was blocking the mental link.

Her horn started to glow, and Fluttershy gave me a loving smile.

"THAT'S IT. ENOUGH!" I stood up, and threw my arms in the air. Everyone stopped. Good thing, because I had no idea what to do next.

So, I did what was instinctive. I ran.

Maybe I can trust Applejack. She is The Element of Honesty after all.


I ran inside of the farmhouse of Sweet Apple Acres. AJ was looking at me angrily for not knocking and waiting.

"AJ I'm sorry to intrude, but I need to hide. PLEASE!"

"Ah' know. Ah' heard from Twilight 'bout th' plan, and Ah' don't like it one bit. Ya' can hide in mah' closet."

"Thanks AJ, I knew I could trust you."

I ran to her room and hid in the closet, hoping that AJ wasn't lying to me as well.

I was there for about ten minutes before I heard the door open.

"Hi Applejack." This time Fluttershy was doing the talking. "Was Kyle here?"

"He... Ah' mean..." She was trying to lie for my sake... "He's here."

"Where?" Twilight sounded agitated.

"Ah' don't know."

"Then we'll search for him. I want to help him with his problem, but he won't let me."

"Problem? He never told me 'bout no problem."

"Yes. He's in denial about his feelings for Fluttershy."

I heard silence for about a minute, and then I heard some footsteps coming from downstairs... Now up the stairs. Uh-oh.

I got out of the closet and looked for an escape route. The only way out was the window. This is gonna hurt... I quietly opened the window and climbed out.


I landed on the ground, my knees bent all the way down. Then I fell over, clutching them in pain.

"Ohhh..." I tried to muffle a scream of pain. I had a bad knee, and the other had gone bad over the years from leaning on it to not hurt the first one.

I slowly got up, and wobbled when I tried to stand. I made my way towards town. Pinkie was out of the question: She would treat this like a big game. Dash is the element of Loyalty, so I didn't want to make her have to hide me and lie to everypony else. I had no choice, I had to confront them myself.

"Ahem." It was Twilight.

I spun around, and they saw how my knees were bent.

"Are you OK?" Fluttershy said, worried.

"Yeah. But LISTEN. I don't feel like that about you, Fluttershy. I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in love anymore. I do NOT want a relationship, and besides, you're a different species than I am!"

Fluttershy looked at me with a face full of guilt, and Twilight rubbed the back of her head, obviously realizing she had made a mistake.

"I'm sorry Kyle. I guess I let myself think I knew more about the human mind than you do."

"Nah, it's OK."

I hear Fluttershy start to whimper. I kneeled down next to her.

"Don't cry, Shy. You and I can still be friends. I don't hate you. I never could! You are a kind and loving pony, but I'm just not ready for relationships yet."

She looked at me and wiped the tears from her eyes. She mustered a weak smile.

"Alright. I just hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable."

"You have NO IDEA. But it's all good. Those feelings are gone, and we can all be friends and act like this never happened, deal?"

Twilight nodded, and Fluttershy's smile grew wider.

Boy am I glad THAT'S over.

Chapter 27: Opportunity Of A Lifetime

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I walked along the streets of Cloudsdale, after deciding to give the city a closer look. I had memorized Ponyville in and out, so I wanted to try something new. I got a few weird looks from pegasi, but they smiled as they remembered who I was. The one who saved the Wonderbolts and Zephyr. I felt a little embarrassed to be popular almost everywhere, but I was pretty much a hero to everypony.

It felt strange that I didn't see Rainbow Dash or Derpy, or even Zeph. They all lived in Cloudsdale. They must be at home. I just kept walking, trying to think of something to do.

I saw a poster advertising another Wonderbolts performance. They were pretty cool, and I could take Dash and Zeph with me. Derpy too, if I could find her. I hoped she hadn't flown the wrong way and ended up in Manehattan, as she has done before. I walked into the building with the poster to buy four tickets. After doing so, I went on the hunt for my friends.

As soon as I walked outside, I saw Dash looking at me eagerly. She had noticed how many tickets I bought.

"Hey Kyle! One of those tickets for me?"

"Yep. Here you go. Have you seen Zeph or Derpy anywhere?"

She stopped and thought for a minute. "Nope, sorry. I think Zeph is out messing around near the fields he practices in. Derpy is probably lost again."

"Alright, thanks Dashie."

With that, I flew off to keep looking.


I was looking around the field where Zeph and a few other pegasi liked to practice tricks. I had seen a few pegasi, but Zeph wasn't here. At least, that's what I thought.

I looked up, and saw a tan streak coming from the sky. When I looked closer, I noticed it was Zeph. I was trying to remember what he was doing...

Then, a sudden realization hit me: The story of the Sonic Rainboom. You have to fly straight down, and try to break the sound barrier...


As soon as I managed to figure out what Zeph was doing, I heard a loud SMACK. I looked at the ground and saw Zeph crawling out of a little hole he had made. I saw a bunch of similar holes. He has been at this for a while...

"Hey! Zeph!"

He looked up and saw me, and flew over.

"Hey Kyle, what's up?"

"I have a ticket for the up and coming Wonderbolts performance, if you wanna come with me."


"Alright. Hey, try not to hurt yourself..." I glanced at the field of Zeph-shaped holes in the ground.

He noticed what I was looking at and laughed. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

"OK. Seeya." I flew off, now I had to look for Derpy.


I had flown all around looking for Derpy, but she was nowhere to be found. The only place I hadn't searched completely was Manehattan, and I was almost done searching there.

I walked by a fancy-looking bakery, and I saw Derpy inside, hungrily looking at some muffins on a counter. I stifled a laugh and walked in. When the bell above the door jingled, she looked at me and smiled.

"Muffin?" She asked me, giving me un-coordinated puppy-dog eyes.

"Yeah, sure. Hey, I got a ticket for the next Wonderbolts performance for you. Wanna tag along?"

She smiled as I handed her the muffin I had just bought, and she nodded her head wildly.

I chuckled. "Alright, I'll see you there then."

I began to leave, when I heard Derpy call out to me. "WAIF!" She was eating the muffin as she spoke.


"I have a package I'm supposed to deliver today, but I can't find the house. Think you could help me?"

"Sure, Derpy. Give it here."

She handed me the package and said "Goodbye!" I looked at the name. It was for someone named... "Spike."

"Huh... Spike, eh?" The address was Twilight's library. I guessed she just had a roommate she never told me about.


I arrived at the tree-library, and knocked on the door. Twilight answered it, and smiled when she saw it was me.

"Oh, hello Kyle! What is it?"

"I'm helping Derpy with a delivery. This package here is for someone named 'Spike.'"

"Oh, of course! Spike told me he had ordered me a few books that I needed. Spike! Come here please!"

Then, I saw a small purple... Thing... With green, rounded spikes on it's back.

"Oh, great! My order! Thanks man." He looked at me quizzically, then smiled. "You must be this 'Kyle' I keep hearing Twilight talking with her friends about. I'm Spike, I'm a dragon."

My eyes widened as I crouched down to look at him closer. "A dragon, you say?"

"Uhhh... Yeah. I'm just a baby dragon though."

"Oh... That is just... Amazing. Dragons aren't supposed to exist where I come from. but I've come to accept strange things in Equestria... Well, I gotta go. Seeya Twilight, seeya Spike."

"Bye." They both said.


I waited outside of the stadium for my friends. I was hoping they would arrive soon, as there were only five minutes left.

Then, I saw them all flying together, speeding towards me. Derpy almost crashed, but Zeph and Dash landed perfectly in front of me.

"Alright, are we all ready?" I asked.

"YEAH!" They all shouted in excitement.

"All right then! Let's go find our seats." I led everypony inside.

We sat in our seats, chatting about how things have been for about a half an hour, when a familiar announcers voice boomed across the stadium.


There goes the wild cheering. I felt a sense of déjà vu.


Here we go...


The cheering was so loud that all I heard was my ears ringing for a second. After everything calmed down, The Wonderbolts came out and started waving at everyone, and then they were off.

It was as amazing as the last performance. They did loops, twirls, spins, dives, and many other tricks. When they were done with the basic tricks, they started doing something new.

They all got into different positions near the edges of the performance area, and started flying around in circles. Eventually, I saw the cloud above us swoop downwards into a funnel, then turn into a tornado. They then went to the bottom and flew in the opposite direction, and the tornado stopped growing towards the ground. Then I saw Spitfire fly out from inside of the tornado, and then fly around it, causing it to die down.

After the performance, I was amazed. Who knew they could do that?

Zeph was amazed, as were Derpy and Dash. We were all talking about what we had seen, when something unexpected happened.

"Hey, enjoy the show?" Spitfire had approached me.

"Heck yeah we did!"

She chuckled. "Glad to hear that, hero."

I blinked, surprised she had called me that. "What?"

"I called you a hero. You did save four lives, and you always try to help anyone in need. You've got a reputation. Not to forget the fact you are also a popular DJ."

Oh. Right. "Uh-huh... So, what is it you wanted? I don't think someone as famous as you would just trot up to someone and talk to them without wanting something."

"Actually, we have a proposition for you."

"Really?" What could this be about?

"How would you like to join the Wonderbolts?"

Everypony, including myself, stopped breathing. We all dropped our jaws.


"You heard me."

I pondered this. Being able to go all around Equestria and beyond, performing for everyone. But I couldn't do that to Zeph or Dash. They deserved it more than I did.

"No, I can't accept that. But..." I looked at Dash. She shook her head no, apparently wanting me to take the offer.

Then I remembered what Zeph had said before.

"If romance doesn't get Dash, maybe joining the Wonderbolts will."

"I think he would gladly accept the offer." I pointed to Zeph, and his eyes widened.

"Are you sure?" Spitfire looked at me quizzically.

"Yes. He is a great flyer, and has been practicing non-stop to try to get into your training camp. He deserves it more than I do."

Spitfire smiled, and Soarin' walked over to us.

"So, did he accept the offer?"

"Yeah... But he isn't the one coming with us." Spitfire said, somewhat disappointed.

"What?" Soarin' was confused.

"He gave the offer to one of his friends."

Zeph walked by me, and grinned at me. I nodded to him in recognition.

"So, ready to go?" Spitfire asked him.

"Yeah. Later everypony!" He waved as he flew away. Rainbow Dash looked at me quizzically.

"You didn't have to do that you know." She said to me. She sounded disappointed as well.

"Yeah, I did. Zeph is a good pony, and he deserves this chance, so I gave it to him."

It's what friends do.

Chapter 28: Mixed Emotions

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I walked back home with Dashie. Derpy had flown back home, and Zeph was off with The Wonderbolts.

"Why didn't you go with them?" She asked.

"Well, I just didn't want to. I'm already a semi-famous DJ, and a hero among the pegasi. What else do I need? You didn't want the offer, and I didn't want to just say 'No' to Spitfire. It was what I had to do."

"Well, I do respect you for it. He is a pretty nice guy when he isn't bombarding you with romantic stuff. I think you did the right thing too."

"Thanks Dashie."

We both smiled at each other, and parted ways when we got to my house. I went inside and did nothing productive for almost an hour. Then I heard knocking at my door. I went to answer it.

"Oh, hey . Why are you here?"

"Well... I need a little help, darling." Why does she keep calling me that...

"What is it? Anything to help a friend in need."

"It's about Sweetie Belle... And her friends."

"What about them?"

"Do you think you could watch them while I finish an order I need to fill? They are wrecking everything."

"Well sure! Sweetie and the Crusaders are good friends of mine. I could watch 'em for a few hours."

"Oh thank you ever so much! I'll go get them."

I went back inside and waited.


After a little while, Rarity brought the CMC to my house, and I let them in, warning them not to break anything.

"Thank you Kyle. You have no idea how much of a help you're being by doing this."

"Any time, Rarity."

She left, and I went back to my sofa, the CMC gathered around me.

"So, what should we do now, coach?" Scootaloo asked, excitedly.

"Well... You should all try working on your talents from the play."

"Oh, we gave on on them a while ago. They wasn't that fun to us." I facepalmed after Apple Bloom said that.

"Maybe we could practice cooking?" Sweetie Belle looked at my kitchen with widened eyes and a smile.

"Sorry girls, no cooking. I have no ingredients, or cooking tools for that matter. I usually just go out to eat or eat with my friends."

"AWWWWWWW..." Here we go with the talking in unison again.

"Well, why don't we play a few games?" I suggested. What a horrible idea.


"Eep!" I was hiding in my music studio as I heard crashing and clanging noises from downstairs.

"Why did I think that would be a good idea..."

"You're just full of good ideas today, aren't 'cha Kyle?" Rainbow Dash had flown in through an open window.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, first you give away the chance of a lifetime to somepony who hasn't done anywhere near the amount of work I have, and now you're babysitting the CMC."

"Wait, what was that first one?"

"You heard me."

"Why are you angry about that?" I could tell by the way she was speaking to me.

"Well, I care about you, and I want you to be happy Kyle. You're my friend! And you threw away an opportunity like that!"

"Dashie, listen. I know you want me to be happy. That is why you should be happy about me giving that opportunity to Zeph. He has been practicing all of his life, trying as hard as you are. He is just as determined as you. You should be happy about this!"

She looked down at her hooves, guilty about having gotten angry at me.

"You're right..."

"Dashie..." I felt horrible for upsetting her.

Her head sprang up, and she flew towards the door. "Lets clean up this mess before we have a heart-to-heart."

I liked that plan. "Alright, let's go."


After getting the CMC to calm down, we sent them outside to play. Then she and I sat down on my sofa to talk.

"Kyle, I just don't know how to feel about this decision."

"Well... You could feel happy that I am happy with it."

"I want to be... But it just doesn't seem right."

"Well..." An idea beamed into my head. "I did it to help you too."

She looked confused. "What?"

"Zeph not only wanted to join The Wonderbolts because he has been practicing all of his life. He is doing it for you. He wants you to be proud of him, Dashie. He also wants to help you get on the team."

"Wait, how?"

"If he gets accepted, he could put in a good word for you."

After I said that, her face lit up with hope.

"He'd go through all of that... For me?"

"I know he would."

We both smiled at each other.

Good deeds don't go without rewards.

Chapter 29: You've Gotta Be Kidding Me...

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"WHAT." Are you serious?

"Yeah..." Dash said sheepishly.

"All this time, you've felt this way, and I never picked up on it... Why do you all keep falling for me anyways?"

"You're nice, considerate, understanding, a celebrity, a hero... And you were nice to me and got me those plushies and took me to a Wonderbolts performance, even after how mean I was." Crud.

"Oh. Yeah. Now it makes much more sense. But I didn't suspect you of liking me, Dashie... And I don't know how to react... Because I... I don't know..."

"She's really pretty, and nice too. She is a lot like me. Rational, but sorta like a loose cannon, and loves to party. She has quick wits, too. I was real nice to her when I first got here."

Oh my Goddesses...

"I think I like you too..." I turned a very deep shade of red. The first girl I like, and she's a pony. I feel like such a weirdo... But I really don't have any other options in this world, do I?

She apparently was having similar thoughts, because she was red too. We looked away from each other. The awkwardness in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"So..." I had no idea of what to say next.

"So..." Dashie wasn't her usual cocky self, but that was to be expected.

"Wanna... Go... Practice?" I knew she loved it when people cheered her on whilst she practiced her tricks.

She smiled, the red starting to drain from her face. "Sure. Sounds good. Let's go!" She jumped up and flew out of an open window.

This was going to be SO awkward...


I sat in the field, watching Dashie practice and cheering her on. I was glad that my first real date was going great, but then I remembered something...

"Oh no..."

Zephyr joined The Wonderbolts to impress Dashie.

"I completely forgot..."

He is going to KILL ME.

The color drained from my face, and I just sat there, staring into space. I couldn't do this. I was betraying my friend... But she likes me, and I like her...


I tried to think of something to do, but all of the options led to Zeph wanting to rip my head off. I'm so dead...

Dash landed in front of me, and noticed I was troubled. She sat down next to me, and nuzzled my shoulder.

"Hey, you OK?"

"No... Dashie, this isn't right. I can't be with you."


"Zephyr likes you, and I'm a human. I can't be with a pony. I'm sorry..."

She looked down to the ground, then up to me. She was holding back tears.

"I... I u-understand. You n-need to b-be l-loyal to y-your friend..." Her dam broke, and she was bawling. I looked away, the guilt starting to eat at me.

"Dang it, Kyle. You can't do anything right. You always try to help everyone, but you always mess things up." My mother had yelled that at me when I tried to help my neighbor with her groceries, but I dropped the milk jug. I gave the neighbor money to buy new milk, and he never got mad at me... But my Mom always expected me to be the perfect child.

I was in tears now. Dash had already flown away, and I was just sitting there, crying.

It's true. I really can't do anything right.


I sat in my home, contemplating what to do.

"I could just go back to her and apologize... But she is probably way too mad at me for what I did... Maybe I could tell Zeph? He might not get too mad... I imagined Zeph's face when I told him. Oh Goddesses. "OK, that's out of the question..."

I heard a knock on my door. I went over and opened it, half-heartedly hoping it would be Dashie. But it was just AJ, , Twilight, , and Pinkie Pie.

"Hey... What's up girls?"

"You meany-weenie! What did you do to Dashie!" Pinkie was shouting at me. Scary...

"What th' hay did ya' do boy?"

"Ugh... You see..."

I told them everything.


Everypony wasn't surprised after my story.

"She had been talking about you a lot, and she told us all that she was going to confess." Twilight said in her matter-of-fact tone.

"Yes, but we never expected things to turn out like THIS darling!" Rarity, please stop calling me that.

"So what do you propose I do? I don't want Zeph to get mad, but I wanna be with Dashie..." I put my head in my hands, the stress was killing me.

"Ah' reckon y'all should jus' come clean." Everypony agreed.

"Alright... But... Do you think I could wait until tomorrow?"

"Why would you want to do that?" Fluttershy asked.

"Because I really need some sleep. It's eleven at night."

"Oh! Okie-Dokie-Lokie! Lets go everypony!" Pinkie herded everypony outside and closed the door. Thank you...

I fell over on the couch and was asleep as soon as my head hit the decorative pillow.


I awoke the next morning, and thought of what I needed to do...

"Alright... My only option is to fess up." I thought aloud.

I walked over to my door, when somepony knocked. I opened the door, and I saw a familiar rainbow colored mane.

"Oh... Dashie... I was just about to go looking for you..." I rubbed the back of my head nervously.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you, Kyle..." She sounded relieved, like she expected me to be upset.

There was a long pause, and then we both spoke at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

We looked at each other, and laughed.

"Oh man, am I glad that's over." Dashie was getting up after rolling on the floor laughing.

"Yeah. Well I'm glad you're not mad at me Dashie."

"So does this mean we can still go out?"

After she asked that, I looked at her quizzically. I thought about Zeph, and made a decision.

"Sure, but I need to ask Zeph first... Just to make sure he won't hurt me if he were to find out."

Dash grinned. "Sounds like a plan."

Chapter 30: DON'T KILL ME!

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"Kyle... What are you doing..." I was talking to myself in my mind again...

Me and Dashie were heading for The Wonderbolts' training camp to confront Zephyr.

"Are you SURE we need to tell him?" I said, having second thoughts.

"Yeah. Hey, it was your idea."

"Yeah, you're right. Onwards and upwards, allons-y!"

We flew for about twenty minutes before arriving at the training camp. We saw a bunch of pegasi dressed in Wonderbolts costumes, practicing very complicated tricks.

"Oh, hey Kyle! Hey Dash..." Zeph ran up to us, smiling when he saw I had Dashie with me.

"Hey... Ummm... We need to talk..." I was trying not to run at full speed right back to Ponyville.

"About what?" He grinned even wider. I knew what he was expecting...

"Me and Dashie... We're sorta..."

His grin broke into a deep frown. "You and Dash are what?"

"We're..." I was trying to spit it out, then Dashie cut in.

"We're dating!" She exclaimed it like it was supposed to be good news.

Zeph looked at me, and I saw his eye twitch. He slowly approached me, with a crazy smile on his face.

"OHHH... I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU." Then, he stood right next to me a whispered.

"You're not leaving this camp ALIVE." EEP.


Zeph insisted he give us the grand tour of the camp. Dashie was all too quick to agree.

He took us around, showing us everything from the practice field to the storage room. I wasn't paying any attention, and instead looked for a way to get the heck out of there.

"There has to be a stealthy way out..." Stealth was one of my many talents, but I couldn't see any escape routes that didn't involve being hunted down and brutally murdered by Zeph.

Eventually, we came to the end of the tour.

"Well, that's it. Hey Dash, you go ahead and talk to some of the other trainees, me and Kyle have to TALK in private."

I felt all the color drain from my face as Dashie grinned and flew away. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Zeph slowly walked towards me, evil grin on his face. "I'm going to KILL you."

"Yeah... You see... About that... Ummm... SEEYA!" I sprinted past him and down the hallway, which was luckily small enough to prevent Zeph from flying. Sadly, I couldn't fly from the sheer panic I was feeling.



I looked for a way out, when I saw the laundry room. I ran inside and jumped into a drying machine and closed the lid.

I heard hoofsteps in the room, and they kept getting closer and farther away. I eventually heard Zeph sigh and trot out of the room.

"Oh boy... I need to get out of here." I climbed out of the dryer and crouched down. I snuck out of the room and out to the training field.

I saw Dashie talking to a few trainees on the sidelines. I ran up to her.


"Huh? What's wrong Kyle?"

"Zephyr wants to kill me for dating you."

"Ugh, can't a day go by without something going wrong?"

"Apparently not, let's GO!" We flew off.


I ran inside of Dashie's house, not wanting to be home alone, and I immediately looked for the smallest, darkest corner and huddled there.

"Sheesh Kyle. Calm down. He wouldn't do that..."

"I'm not so sure... He takes emotions a little too far sometimes... Remember how depressed he got when you rejected him?"

"Yeah... Hey, we should go to bed... But I only have one bed." Wait, wha-

"No. No that is NOT happening. Not with what almost happened to me."

"Oh, what were you thinking, Kyle? I just meant you could sleep in the same bed as me. Get your mind out of the gutter." Oh you little trickster...

"Well... All right. But don't you try anything funny. I know you, Dashie."


I laid on the farthest side of the bed, trying to stay away from Dashie. I could hear her breathing was calmed, but she could be faking. Did I forget to mention I am very paranoid?

I looked over at the window, and I immediately wished I was asleep. Take a wild guess at who was climbing in.

"Oh no..."

I tried to think of what to do, and remembered: I'm friends with Princess Luna.

"Luna, sorry to ask you of something this late, but could you teleport me... Somewhere?" Boy I hope this works...

"Ah Kyle! Don't worry, I will have you here in a second."

I felt a weird tingling in my body, then I was laying on the ground in Luna's bedroom. I got up, and the Moon Princess looked at me with worry.

"What happened?"

"Luna... Remember my friend I introduced to you?"

"Zephyr? Yes! He was quite quiet."

"He's sorta... Trying to hunt me down and kill me."



"Well this is unacceptable! I need to bring him here so you can talk it out."

"WAIT, WHAT!?!? NO NO N-" Poof. There he was. He starting to approach me, but Luna restrained him.

"Now, I want you two to talk out this issue."

"Let me at him... I'm gonna kill him..."

"Listen, Zeph... Can't you just be happy for us? I know I'm sorta... Stealing your mare... But she was never really into you in the first place. So what do you say you stop trying to kill me and we just be friends again?"

There was awkward silence for about a minute, when Zeph finally snapped out of his homicidal rage.

"All right... I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me..."

"I understand."

Why does all of the crazy stuff happen to me?

Chapter 31: More Than Friends

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I sat on the park bench with Dashie, chatting about what we should do next. This was our first real date. It felt really awkward at first, but we had started to open up to the idea. I was still looking behind me every once in a while to make sure Zephyr wasn't there, ready to murder me.

"Maybe we could go shopping..." I suggested as I felt the weight of my coin purse. I hadn't spent much money lately.

"Nah, that's too generic. I wanna do something exciting for our first date." She grinned at that last part.

"Hmmm... How about we have a race?"

She smiled ear to ear when I said that. "Sounds like a great idea to me."

We flew up into the air, and lined up. It wouldn't follow a path, just us trying to stay ahead of the other.


I've never been in, or to, a race before. Just the countdown is exciting.


Here we go...


This is gonna be sweet.


And like that, we were off. I was managing to keep up, but there was no way I was going to pull ahead. Dashie looked at me with a wild look on her face, and she began to go even faster.

"Come on, ... FLY!" I began to wonder if the enchantment was wearing off.

But the moment I wondered that, I began to speed up gradually. Man I love these .

"Woah!" I pulled up next to Dashie, but I was still unable to pass her.

"Glad to see there's someone who can keep up with me."

"Well, I wasn't ever one to stay still." I looked ahead of me and saw a wall.


I got up from the ground, my vision still blurry from having slammed head-first into the side of a building. I hadn't noticed that we had flown so close to the ground.

"Ugh..." I rubbed my head. That's gonna hurt in the morning.

Dash was laughing uncontrollably.


"So... What else do you want to do?" I asked.

"Well..." Dashie couldn't think of anything either.

Then I saw something I wasn't expecting. I saw a streak of pink zooming straight at me.

Pinkie tackled me to the ground, and was talking REALLY fast.


I shoved her off. "Calm yourself down! Sheesh..." I dusted off my jacket.

"Why didn't you tell anypony?"

"Well, Pinkie... I just didn't really know how you all would have reacted."

"Well, y'all don't need t' worry no more sugarcube." AJ?

I turned around and saw all of our friends gathered there. Apparently, Pinkie wasn't one to keep a secret.

"So... You weren't after Fluttershy, you were after Rainbow Dash... Interesting..." Twilight was treating this like a study session.

"Oh... My..." Shy was being as... Well... Shy as always.

"Oh, you two make such a cute couple! This will make for some juicy gossip..." Rarity, if you even think about it...

"Oh... Hi there everypony..." Dashie was a deep shade of red. She was obviously as embarrassed as I was.

"Listen... Don't go telling anypony, alright? I don't want Dashie to be ridiculed for dating... Well... A member of another species." Concern filled my tone.

Everypony nodded, and they walked away without saying another word.

"Alright... That was... Awkward..."

"Yeah... Well, seeya Kyle. I'm going home. I had fun today." She flew off.


I laid on my bed, thinking about what had happened that day. I was glad to finally have a relationship, but I still felt a little... Off about it.

"Would this qualify as bestiality...?" I thought of what that would be like, and pushed the image out of my head as soon as it came. Gross...

"Ok... Just need to sleep on this..."

I made sure to wait, my paranoia making me believe that somepony would knock on my door, as they seem to always do. But after ten minutes and no knocking, I went to sleep.

I felt a rushing sensation, and I awoke in a familiar starry-floored area.

"Hey, Luna."

"Good evening, Kyle." At least I had somepony to talk to.

"Hey... Can you give me some advice?"

"Certainly, it is what friends do."

"Well... As you can see, I'm a human, and me and a certain mare have started going out... But it just feels wrong..."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, on Earth, it's frowned upon to have 'relations' with animals..."

"Well, you are not on Earth, Kyle. You are here, in Equestria. I do not see an issue with having romantic relationships with the inhabitants of this world. You really don't have any other choices."

"That's what I was thinking, but I just wasn't sure..."

"Well, as your friend, I give you my full support. Good luck to you, Kyle."

I smiled. "Thanks, Luna."


When I woke up, I felt much more confident then I had before.

"Today's gonna be a great day, I can tell." I felt much more positive, too.

I no longer cared what anypony thought, or what anypony said. As long as I was with Dashie.

But then it hit me.

"What about her ego?"

Dashie always had a swelled head, and if she were ridiculed for dating some creature, I didn't know what would happen. Would she brush it off? Or would it be like a pin in the balloon that is her self-esteem? She had told me about the bullying that went on in flight-school when she was a filly.

"Why can't anything just work out for once?"

I'll never catch a break, will I?

Chapter 32: Still More To Be Done

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I walked through Ponyville, looking for something to do. Everypony was busy, and I had no music to make.

"KYLE!" Uh-oh. Pinkie Pie...

I was immediately tackled to the ground, and the pink pony was rambling on about something.


I shoved her off of me. "Alright, calm down... What is it?"

"Oh, it's terrible! I need some help with the store, there are so many ponies there, I can't bake fast enough for them all!"

"I'm not the best cook..."

"Well, you could distract them for me!"


"You're famous, silly! Just do something to draw their attention away from their food while I cook!"

"Alright, sure."


I walked into the shop, but nopony payed me any mind. Pinkie walked back into the kitchen, giving me a comical wink to signal that I should start the distraction.

At first, nopony recognized me, but when I turned my hat around and un-buttoned my jacket...

"Hey look! It's DJ 1NS4N1TY!"

Then, I was mobbed by a bunch of crazy fans.

"Easy, easy! One at a time, please."

They all lined up, asking me to autograph something or other. One mare even asked me to sign her flank. Sheesh...

After it was all said and done, everypony went back to waiting for their orders, which Pinkie had just finished. They all grabbed their orders and left.

Pinkie let out a hefty sigh. "Thanks Kyle. Now I can plan a party!"

"Aren't you exhausted?"

"Oh Kyle! Don't be a silly-willy! You should know me by now, I NEVER get exhausted!" She then bounced up to her room. I left the shop, glad that I had killed a lot of my free time. It was already afternoon.


I headed over to Twilight's library, to see if there was anything to read. When I knocked on the door, I heard several loud crashes, and an angry shout. Then the door swung open. I saw a very angry Twilight, with a scorched coat and mane.

"Woah, what happened to you?"

"I WAS trying to cast a spell, until you knocked."

"Oops. Sorry."

"It's alright."

She stepped aside, and I saw the condition of the library. There were glass shards everywhere, and a bunch of books had fallen from their shelves.

"What spell were you casting again?"

"I was trying to turn glass into diamond."


I started to sweep up the glass, when magic surrounded it all. Oh, right. Unicorn.

"Is there... Anything I can do to help?"

"Well, you could hold up a pane of glass for me."

"Alright." I grabbed a pane and held it up. It was actually kinda heavy.

"OK... Now to just concentrate... And..." Her horn began to glow.

Whenever the beam of energy shot from her horn to the glass, I began to feel a tingling sensation. Then I started to feel hot. Very hot, and the tingling got much worse.


The glass in my hands had become shards, and I was covered in soot, like I had just crawled out of a chimney.

"*Cough*" A small puff of smoke came out of my mouth.

"Ohmygosh! I'm sorry Kyle!"

"It's... Alright... I feel fine. I think I'll just go."

"Yeah... See you later!"

"Laters, Twilight."

I wondered who else needed help. Then I thought of AJ. I hadn't been applebucking in a while, since I was a DJ now. But what the hay, why not?


I arrived at the farm, only to see Big Mac outside, chewing on the strand of wheat he seems to always have.

"Hey there, Big Mac."

"Howdy Kyle."

"Is AJ here?"

"Nope." Wow. It sounded so strange hearing him say that instead of his trademark "Eeyup."

"Do you know where she is?"

"Eeyup. She's out at Sugarcube Corner, sellin' apples with that cart o' hers."

"Thanks Mac. Hey, need any help with anything?"

"Well, Ah' could use a hand with th' whole Fluttershy situation. But Ah' reckon y'all ain't too comfortable doin' anything romantic-like around her."

"Yeah, sorry bud. No help there." He chuckled when I said that. He knew I would say that. "Well, I'm out. Seeya Mac."



I walked around Sugarcube Corner, hoping to find AJ.

"Well howdy there Kyle!" Found her.

"Hey, AJ! Need any help?"

"Actually, Ah' reckon Ah' do. Think ya' could watch the cart fer' a minute while Ah' run off t' get some more apples? Ah' don't want any sticky-fingered pony snatcin' up mah' bits."

"Can do, AJ."

She smiled, and trotted off towards Sweet Apple Acres. I stood at the apple cart, looking around to see if there were any suspicious looking ponies. Not seeing anything suspicious, I relaxed.

"Oh. Hi Kyle."

I looked over at the source of the voice. It was Fluttershy, and she was with Rarity.

"Hey Shy, what's up? Why are you with Ms. Snooty Pants here?" Rarity gave me a piercing stare.

Fluttershy barely managed to stifle a giggle. "We're going to the spa. We always go together one day or another every week."

"Yes! You should try it to, Kyle. It would help you with those wrinkles." Rarity piped up.

"These wrinkles won't go away. They are leftovers from surgery I had on my wrist when the doctor didn't stitch it up right."

"Oh my, whatever happened darling?"

"I had what is called 'Carpal Tunnel Syndrome,' which is caused by frequent use of the hands. I used to type a lot on my laptop, until one day, when both of my wrists seized up and I couldn't move them. I went to the hospital, they gave me surgery. I try not to do anything with my hands too fast anymore, out of fear it would come back."

"Oh my... That sounds like it was painful."

"Shy, you have no idea. But don't let me and my stories keep you ladies. Go on, enjoy your girl time." They smiled and trotted off.

Almost immediately after that, AJ came back with the apples. "Thanks Kyle. Ah' really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it. Glad to help." I tipped my hat, and walked off. It was nearing evening, and I could see the orange in the sky as the sun began to set. I decided to head back home.


I was on my way home. It was already dark out when I saw something going on in an alley. I peeked around the corner to take a look.

"Lady, don't make me ask twice. Give me your bits, and you don't get hurt..." Sounds like a mugging to me.

"Sir, please. I don't have much on me, and I need it. I haven't gone grocery shopping in a while, and my family needs the money."

I crouched down so I made less noise when I walked, and slowly approached. The victim glanced at me, and I put my finger to my lips to signal her to act as if I wasn't there. She looked back at the mugger.

I slowly approached behind him, and grabbed a plank off of the wall. There was no way I would knock somepony out with a punch.

I stood up behind him, and raised the plan in one hand, and tapped his shoulder with the other. "Excuse me, kind sir..."

He turned around, and looked up to see the plank speeding at him.


He fell over. I had hit him in the side of the head with the plank, right in where his temple is. He was out like a light. Man am I glad I took fighting lessons when I was younger.

"Hey, you alright?" I asked the mare, who was still shaking.

"Oh, thank you. I don't know what he would have done to me if you hadn't show up!"

"Don't sweat it. I'd do anything to help a pony in need."

I began to walk off, when she called out to me. "What's your name?"

"Kyle." I answered. I proceeded out of the alley, but I kicked the stallion on the ground as I walked past him. He woke up from the kick, and groaned in pain.

"Oops, sorry. Didn't see you there."

I walked out of the alley, and was back on my way home.

I guess I really am a hero.

Chapter 33: Oh... My...

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I sat around, thinking about the last few days. I went on a few dates with Dashie, I helped Pinkie, AJ, and Twilight, and I stopped a mugging. I smiled, enjoying the fond memories.

Then, I heard fast paced knocking at my door. I smiled when I answered it.

"Hey, Dashie."

"Hey Kyle! Wanna go on a date today?"

"Hmmm..." I was teasing her.

"Come on, you know you wanna."

"I dunno..." She made a face, and I knew it was time to stop teasing.

"Relax, I'm kidding. I would never miss a chance for a date with you!"

"Alright! Meet with me at Sugarcube Corner at 5:00?"


She flew off. She was much more persistent than usual. Huh...

I payed no mind to it, and left. I was going to wander the town to kill time. I had seven hours.


I had been walking for a while, when I saw Derpy, trying to put mail in a mailbox. Every time she tried, the envelopes folded away from the slot.

"Hey Derpy. Lemme help you with that." I took the mail from her and put it all in the mailbox.

"Thanks Kyle!"

"No problem."

"So, I heard you're dating Rainbow Dash, huh?"

I couldn't believe that somepony had spread that information around. I knew it wasn't any of my friends, so I assumed that somepony had seen us together and went around starting rumors that happened to be true.

"Y-yeah..." I rubbed the back of my head nervously.

"Well, I'm glad for you. Well, I hope you two do well. I have more mail to deliver, bye-bye!"

I waved as she flew off.

Now that I knew the word was out, me and Dashie didn't have to be as secretive anymore, so I was thankful for that.

I checked the time. 12:30pm. Wow, did I really kill that much time? I decided to get some lunch. I went into a restaurant, when I saw Vinyl Scratch.

"Hey Vinyl, wassup?"

"Hey there, Mr. 1NS4N1TY."

"Oi! Don't go saying that in public! I'll be mobbed."

She grinned mischievously. "Heh, I know. Too bad nopony heard, I bet it would've been hilarious."

"You're the worst..."

"I know, but isn't that what you love about me?"

"Ugh... Hey, how's your marefriend Octavia doing?" I knew her weakness...

She blushed madly. "Hey! Don't... Grrr..."

I chuckled. "But really, how did you two get together?"

"I dunno. She's into the old snoozefest music, I'm into the new and exciting music. She likes quiet, I love noise. It doesn't make any sense, but I still like her."

"Opposites attract."

"You've got that right. I've gotta go, I have a party to be at." She got up, and dropped her party shades out of her hoodie pocket. Before anypony could see them, she snatched them back up.

"Seeya Vinyl." The waiter put my lunch down in front of me, as all the restaurants in town know what I order by now.


My chat with Vinyl and my lunch managed to kill another hour, because somepony had overheard our conversation and recognized my face. I had to sign so many autographs... The wandering afterwards killed another three.

"Well howdy, Kyle."

"Oh, hey Mac."

"Ya' look like Ya' just got attacked by n' angry mob."

"A mob, yes."

"Huh... Hey, d'ya think Ya' think Ya' could help me with these here apples? Ah' got a lil' too much."

"Sure." I grabbed two crates to carry.

"So... How goes the quest for Fluttershy's love?"

"S' going fine. Ah've managed t' keep her from runnin' away when Ah' walk up t' her."

"Good for you."

"Here we are, put em' down here."

I put the crates down, and pushed my back so I could stand up straight. Big Mac looked a little sweaty, but not really tired.

"Welp, Ah' gotta go git a few more crates o' apples. Ah'll catch Ya' later, Kyle."

"Later, Mac."

I sat on one of the crates to relax. After a while I checked the time. 4:30.

"Time to go looking for Dashie."


I looked for about ten minutes, and I found her standing near the bakery.

"Hey there, Dashie."

"Oh, hey Kyle."

"So, what are we doing today? Racing? Going shopping for Wonderbolts memorabilia? Practicing new tricks?"

"Actually, I have a place up on a hill a little ways from here. I was hoping we could just... Talk."

Now THAT was unusual.


We began on our way to the hill. Dashie flew on ahead.


When we got to the hill, Dashie was already sitting on a blanket. I sat down next to her.

"So... What is it you wanted to talk about, Dashie?"

"Well... What were you like when you were little? I can imagine you were cute..."

"Hmmm... When I was little... Where to start... Well, I was really hyper. Like Pinkie if you knocked her down about five notches. I loved a challenge. I was really nerdy too, always getting good grades. Kids resented me for that, and bullied me. At first it was just regular bullying. Name calling, stealing my lunch, the usual. But then they started getting physical. One kid even kicked in my knee. After it healed, I leaned on the other one all the time, and that one went bad. That really killed my self-esteem, so I just sat around all day. My grades stayed the same, but I was in really poor health after a few years. I started getting sick more often, I was always tired, and eventually, I started suffering from Vertigo a lot. I never really made friends either, and everyone avoided me because they thought I was a walking bio-weapon from how much I got sick." I could feel the tears coming, but I fought them back.

"Oh... Man... Sounds like you had it real rough. Sorry I asked."

"No... No... I'm glad to get it off my chest. I'm glad I have someone like you to talk to, Dashie." I wrapped my arm over her neck and onto her other shoulder, and pulled her into a side-hug.

"So... What was your childhood like?"

"Well, I never really spoke to my parents. They were never exactly 'encouraging.' They always said I would turn out to be just average, no better, no worse. I eventually ran away and joined School. Everypony called me 'Rainbow Crash.' I think you can imagine why. I met Fluttershy there, and she was always bullied too. We teamed up, always practicing together, hanging out... She was my first real friend. One day, me and two of the bullies ended up in a race, and I ended up flying so fast that I did a sonic rainboom." I tried to imagine what that could be. "That same sonic rainboom is the reason me and my friends got their cutie marks. I've been doing tricks and practicing ever since."

"Wow... Can you show me the sonic rainboom?"


She flew up in the air, and when she was almost out of my field of vision, she flew straight down. I saw the air around her flatten out, and then...


I heard a loud boom, and a flash. Then a large ring rainbow emanated from where Dash broke the sound barrier, and she barely managed to slow down before she landed.

"Woah! Dashie, that was... I mean I... AWESOME!"

"Well, I am the only pony who can do it." She grinned as she stroked her ego.

We sat back down, and chatted about the last few days for a while.

"... And then I tapped his shoulder, and said 'Excuse me, kind sir...' And then I hit him with the plank. He was out like a light!"

We both laughed. We had scooted much closer to each other over the time we had been talking.

"You know, Kyle... That's why I like you. You're nice, and you risk your own safety for the safety of others..." She moved even closer to me. "You always want to help, no matter what the cost." Closer... "You're a hero."

With that, she brought her muzzle to my mouth.

Chapter 34: I Just Can't Catch A Break, Can I?

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I paced back in forth in my living room, trying to collect my thoughts.

"OK, I kissed Dashie... Well, she kissed me... My first kiss... With a pony... Well, it was nice and all..."

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" I grabbed my head and screamed, frustrated that I can't calm down. In retrospect, that didn't really seem to help.

"Alright... You kissed a pony, and it was your first kiss... But hey, it was nice." I was talking to myself, a habit I thought I had kicked about a year ago.

"OK, Kyle, just calm down... It's alright, these things happen in relationships... But I'm in a relationship with a pony..." I yelled again and punched my wall. I widened my eyes.

"OW OW OW OW OW..." I held onto my knuckles. That also wasn't a good idea.

I took a deep breath, which just barely helped. I sat down, and put my head in my hands, and managed to piece my sanity back together.

"Alright... Just need to stay calm..."

I heard knocking at my door. I opened it to see Pinkie with a basket on her head.

"Hey Pinkie, wassup?"

"I'm here to invite you to Rainbow Dash's 'First Kiss' party!"

I went completely pale, and I felt my knees shaking. I almost fainted, but I managed to hold it back.

"Her... Her... WHAT?"

"'First Kiss' party! She told all of us! We're all super-duper happy for you both!"

I put on a fake smile, and I felt my eye twitch.

"Alright... Yeah. I'll be there. I sorta have to, don't I?" I took an invitation. Pinkie bounced off, singing some song I couldn't comprehend in my slow descent into insanity.

"Oh Goddesses, help me... A party celebrating this? I just can't take it."

I wasn't used to any real affection. That was probably why all of this freaked me out. No other living creature loved me, let alone kissed me. Until now.

"I have to go... Oh no, I'm talking to myself." I got my coat and hat and headed out, taking the back alleys to avoid anypony who might know me.


I arrived at the party, thankfully having encountered nopony. I looked through the crack under the door to see a bunch of multicolored hooves, all of them belonging to my friends. I snuck around back and jimmied the lock on a window, and I climbed in. That was always and issue of mine, I loved to break into things. I was good at it too.

I snuck into the party, nopony in the crowd recognizing me. This was my excuse to avoid my friends and still be at the party, so I wouldn't feel as much guilt... I'm always a coward when it comes to feelings.

"Hey Kyle!" I turned around and saw Derpy. Uh-oh...

"I'm so happy for you and Dashie! This means things will be getting serious between you two!" She smiled... And she was talking VERY loudly.

"Derpy! Shush! I'm hiding..."

She immediately listened, and made a zipping motion over her lips with her hoof. She walked away, and kept eating her muffin. That was a close one... I backed away, and bumped into something.

I turned around, and I saw AJ beginning to turn around. I swung back into the crowd.

"I have GOT to be more careful." This was a horrible idea... Both coming to the party in the first place, and cowardly hiding from my friends.

I saw a wisp of pink hair rise over the crowd and sink in again. Pinkie was heading this way. I looked next to me and saw all of the cupcakes. DANG IT!

I hid under the table, and saw the pink hooves approach. It's really dusty under here...

"Achoo!" I immediately covered my mouth, but it was too late. Pinkie looked under the table, smiled wildly, and crawled under with me.

"Oooh... We're under the table! This is fun!" OK...

"Pinkie, I want to play a game..."

"OK! I like games!"

"We need to see who can go the longest without letting anypony know I'm here..."

"Oooh! I like the sound of that! You're on."

She emerged from under the table, getting a few weird stares.

I crawled along under the rows of tables lined up, looking for a place without so many ponies. I found the end of the row that let out right at the stairs. Yes!

I waited for a second, then made a mad dash out from under the table and up the stairs. I found the nearest room I could and ran inside. I slammed the door behind me and pushed a chair under the knob.


I looked around. I was in a bedroom. I noticed there was a water closet (Bathroom) in the room as well. I heard a toilet flush, and a familiar voice say "Ahhh..."

The W.C. door opened, and I saw a cyan hoof extend out...

Chapter 35: Problem Solved

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"OH NO." That was all that was rushing through my head. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Dashie kept moving slower and slower as she exited the W.C., and my heart felt like it was going to burst.

"Kyle?" And that's what I get for freaking out instead of thinking.

She approached me, smiling warmly. I felt like I was going to pass out from hyperventilation. I had gone pale.

"Are you OK? I don't want the one getting sick..."


"Th-the one?"

"Yep. Everypony says we're perfect for each other, and that we were made for each other... Isn't it nice?" She nuzzled my side.


OK, yep. Here we go. I knew it was going to happen. SOMETHING was going to go wrong, and it was this. I wasn't ready for this kind of stuff. I felt heat rushing through my face, and I knew I was blushing. Badly.

Dashie noticed immediately and giggled.

"Awwww... You're cute when you do that, you know?"

She was acting much more mushy than usual... But then again, she had been doing that after our third date. I think it's just something girls do.

"You don't say... Well Dashie, I would love to stay and chat, but I gotta go. You know, mingle with the guests, tell everypony about this... Okgottagobye."

I quickly moved the chair and left the room. I sped down the stairs...

And was almost instantly cut off by my friends.

"So... Y'all was avoidn' us, huh?"

"You meanie-weanie-bo-beany! You told me this was a game!" Pinkies hair seemed to... Deflate, for lack of a better word, and she sat on the ground and hung her head in shame. She was about to cry.

"That was a horrible thing to do. Dare I ask why?" Rarity seemed quite angry.

"Well , I'm just a little freaked out by all of this. I wasn't expecting the kiss, and Pinkie goes and THROWS A PARTY, basically advertising it to everypony... I'm just a tad bit embarrassed!"

"Hmmm..." Twilight was pondering this, apparently adding to her mental notes of human psychology.

"Trust me, Kyle. I know how it feels to be... Embarrassed..." I barely heard Fluttershy's voice over the party.

"Well... Shoot. Ah' didn't really think Ya' would end up avoidin' us. I helped with the decoratin' n' such."

"I made the streamers, and the ice sculpture in the punch bowl. Only the finest crafting, mind you."

"Well... Jeez... I'm sorry everypony." I felt really guilty for being such a chicken. "I guess I was just being a coward about all of this..."

"It's OK, we forgive you. Right girls?" Twilight acted like the leader of the group.

"Right!" They all said in unison. I remembered the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

I heard sniffling from behind me. I turned around, and saw Dashie sitting there, staring at me with a hurt expression. She had heard the whole thing.

"Y-you're embarrassed that I... Kissed you?"

"Dashie, I-"

"I don't wanna hear it."

She flew through the crowd, and out the door. The party stopped, and everypony was staring at the exit, dumbfounded as to why the mare of the party would leave.

I shot everypony a dirty look, and rushed out the door after her.


"Dashie?" I had been searching for the better part of the night.

"DASHIE?" My throat hurt really bad.


I decided to take to the skies. I had only been searching for about ten minutes when I started to lose focus from exhaustion. I had been so stressed out, and the encounter at the party really took it out of me. I felt my shoes start to slow down, and I began to dip.


I was falling.

I couldn't even scream I was so tired. I decided to just let myself fall. I would sleep for a while after I hit.

Then, a familiar blue streak saved me.


"Are you crazy? Why were you flying when you're as tired as you are?"

"I was... I was looking for you... I wanted to tell you that I was sorry. I wasn't embarrassed by that kiss, just... Surprised. It was my first kiss, and I'm glad it was with you."

She slowed down, and landed us both on a cloud.

"Do you... Do you really mean that?"

"Would I ever lie about something like that?"

We sat in silence for about ten minutes. Eventually, she nuzzled me, and laid down in my lap.

"I'm glad you fell out of the sky, Kyle."

I started to stroke her mane.

"So am I, Dashie...

So am I."

Chapter 36: Zephyr's Chance

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AUTHORS NOTE: I would like to give a shout-out to MuzzledElk, the one who did my cover art, and some fanart. Thanks dude!

Now that shout-outs are done, there will be more viewpoint changes. I will indicate them each time, just like before.



"Wait, what?"

I woke up on Dashie's couch, having slept there instead of at home. I had half a mind to sell my house and move in with her, but immediately decided against it. Moving all of my stuff up here would be a major pain.

"Oh, Kyle! You're awake! I have breakfast for you!"

"Ohhh, thanks Dashie!" She had made wheat pancakes. I could feel a drool working up, so I dug in.

"Wow! This is great! Better than my Mom's cooking."

We both laughed at that.

"Yeah, I don't really try cooking that much, but decided to for you."

"Awww. Thanks."

I kept chowing down. I hadn't eaten anything other than restaurant food ever since my picnic with Fluttershy. You have no idea how good it was to eat something homemade.

"So, what do you wanna do today, love?"

"I dunno, Kyle... Wait, what did you call me?"

"You heard me."

She blushed a cute dark red color.

"Oh... W-well... I..."

"Relax, just think about it, OK?"


She walked out of the dining room.

I finished eating, and decided it would be best to just get up before I get too comfortable.

"Ooohhhh... My back..."

"You have a bad back too?"

"Yeah... It happened when I was about twelve. I always carried a lot of books in my backpack, and I carried at least five textbooks with me all day in school. I eventually developed a slouch, and it made my back go bad."

"Wow, you're like a crotchety old man."

"I know... I'm a sixteen year old with the body of an eighty year old..."

Dashie walked behind me, and gave me a light buck in the back. I felt a pop, and I could stand up straight again.


"No problem, love." She grinned mischievously. Now it was my turn to blush.

"Oh you... So, what is it that you want to do today?"

"I think that you should just have some time with your other friends. Hang out with a stallion for once... Like Big Mac."

"Yeah, that would probably be good for me. I've been around you mares too much lately."

We laughed again.

"All right, well, bye Kyle."

"Later, Dashie. Onwards and upwards! Allons-y!"


I was at Sweet Apple Acres, talking to Big Mac about how things were going with Fluttershy.

"She's finally startin' t' talk t' me, and she ain't as shy 'round me no more."

"You're slowly making progress, Mac. I'm proud of ya'."

"Eeyup... How're things 'tween you n' Rainbow Dash?"

"Great. We've gotten... Closer... Recently."

"Ah' heard 'bout what happened."

"Ah. I see. Well, I would assume that everypony in Ponyville would know after Pinkie threw a party about it..."

"Eeyup. That, n' the fact that AJ told me."

"Curse her honesty... So, wanna go hang out somewhere other than this farm?"

"Eeyup. Ah' ain't been out on th' town fer' a while now, so it should do me some good."

"What do you wanna do?"

"How about we go lookin' fer' somethin'?"



Me and Mac had wandered for a good twenty minutes before stopping at a small tavern.

"Ah'm hungry. Lets git' somethin' t' eat here."

"Sure. I've got money with me."

We walked in, and I saw Zephyr sitting at a table with Spitfire.

"Well hey there Zeph, Spitfire."

"Oh, hey Kyle."

"Well if it isn't the hero." I swear, it's as if Spitfire WANTS me to get angry.

Me and Mac sat down at the table.

"So, how goes it with you and Dash, Kyle?"

"Zeph, you aren't gonna believe this... We kissed."

I saw his pupils get smaller, and his jaw drop.

"R-really? That's... Nice."

"Yeah... So, how about you and Spitfire? You seem nice and friendly." I shot him a smug grin.

"Oh! She just offered to hang out, to get to know the most likely candidate to join the team."

"Woah, really? Dude, that's awesome!"

"Yeah, I'm glad you gave my offer to him. He's a good flyer. Really good."

"No problem Spitfire."

"Ah' can't believe Ah'm sittin' at a table with two celebrities..." I had almost forgotten that Mac was there.

"Oh, right. Spitfire, this is Big Macintosh. He's a friend of mine."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Big Mac."

"It's a mighty fine chance t' meet Ya' too."

"OK, so now that introductions are out of the way... Zeph, I'm a tad bit worried..." I looked down in front of him, hinting to the five empty apple cider bottles that were sitting in front of him.

"Oh, I'm fine... Just trying to... Unwind..."



I sat at the table, keeping a fake smile on the whole time. I was actually pretty upset about Kyle and Dash going even further in their relationship, but I didn't want to ruin the night.

"...And then I poked him on the shoulder and said 'Excuse me, kind sir...' And then WHAM! He was down. The lady wasn't hurt, thank the Goddesses."

Spitfire giggled. "Yep, sounds to me like you really are a hero, Kyle."

"Nah... I'm just a guy who likes to help."

"Yer' puttin' on the modest guise, huh?"


I downed another bottle of apple cider. My head was already swaying, and I felt woozy, but it was definitely keeping the away.

"Zeph, dude. I don't think you should be drinking so much."

"Oh yeah? Well, why donsh you try ish?" I tried to talk back, but my voice was slurred.

"Nah, I'm too young. The food here is pretty good though."

He sounded smug to me. I wanted to hit him. But he was my friend, and I was pretty sure that if I tried to stand up, I would fall right over.

"Alrighty, Kyle. Ah' gotta git' goin'. It was nice gettin' t' hang out with ya'. Ah'll seeya later."

"Laters, Mac!"

Big Mac left. It was just me, Spitfire, and Kyle.

"I gotta get going too. I have a party to DJ tonight. It's supposed to be crazy, so I have to think of some crazy beats to mix up. See you guys later."

Correction: It was just me and Spitfire.



I was banging my head, loving the rush from the music and the party. my earbuds somehow stayed in place.

"Man, it feels good to party with the crowd. I'm glad that I'm not the only DJ in town now." Vinyl had walked out of the crowd. Her hoodie was wrinkled, but I didn't dare ask why.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But I think I would prefer to be up here. Making sure these ponies all have a good time... It feels right to me."

"You're a natural-born saint, Kyle."

"Oh come on..."

"I mean it! You love to help people!" I saw Octavia emerge from the crowd. Her face was a deep red, and I saw a glass in her hoof. Oh... Now I see why Vinyl's hoodie was wrinkled.

Vinyl looked to where I was looking, realized what I was thinking, and blushed.

"Well, we are marefriend and marefriend."

"Just try not to bite her tongue off."

Vinyl smiled, and trotted off. Then, I saw somepony fly up from downstairs. It was Spitfire.

"Hey, Kyle? Think you could help me carry Zephyr home?"

"What the heck happened?"

"Too much apple cider."

"I saw that coming... Alright, just let me play the next song."



It had been a few days since I met up with Zephyr at the tavern, and he had been drinking non-stop until then. It was all he did. It was like he was trying to drown out his sorrows... But what could they be?

I knocked on his door. No answer. I took the spare key out of his mailbox, and I went inside.


"Ohhh..." I heard him groaning in his living room.

"Oh... Zephyr... You need to stop doing this..."

"I'm fine... Ow my head..."

I heard the door open again, and then fast-paced hoofsteps... But they sounded strange...

Kyle walked into the room, with a distressed look on his face.

"Listen, Zeph. I know you've been drinking ever since I told you about me and Dashie... Yeah. Are you still upset that we're together?"

"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be! I love her, and you snatch her away from me! Why'd you do that? I thought we were friends!"

"Zephyr..." I tried to reason with him.

"I just wanted some love in my life..."

"Zeph..." Kyle put his hands on the back of his head and took a deep breath. This was really bugging him.

"Go away... I just want to be alone..." Zephyr rolled over.

A thought popped into my head.

"Zephyr... If you want love in your life, you should just look a little further... It isn't far off..."




I was screaming at myself in my mind. I had turned my friend into an alcoholic.

"Zeph... You said you wanted love in your life? Just get out there and look around! It can't be that hard! There are plenty of mares out there looking for a good stallion like you!"

I was throwing my arms around to emphasize my point.

"That's what I was just thinking..." Spitfire said.

"Well who else would possibly want a loser like me?"

"Me..." Spitfire said, almost inaudible.

"What?" Me and Zeph said at the same time.

"Yes... Zephyr, I really like you. You seem like a nice guy, and you're always determined to do your best. You can always see the good in people... And I can see the good in you..."

Spitfire was... Into Zeph? This was certainly a revelation.

He sat up. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes... Will you give me a chance?"

There was a long pause. The tension was killing me. For some reason, I felt a hint of irony.

Then, Zeph finally answered.

"Yeah... Yeah I'd like that."

Chapter 37: The Not-So-Great And Powerful Trixie

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I walked the streets of Canterlot. I had gotten bored and decided to explore the fanciest city around. I was amazed as I saw all of the hotels and restaurants... And even more amazed when I saw the prices.

"Fifty bits for a glass of the house special? Jeez!"

I kept walking, and I looked in each alleyway I passed out of paranoia.

Then, I looked into an alley, and saw a light blue unicorn in rags, sobbing.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Of course, I approached, hoping to help.

"Well, for starters, I used to be famous all across Equestria... Until that spoil sport came along..."

"Hey, I know Twilight... You're light blue... Unicorn... I know who you are."

"You do? Nice to know I'm still known by some-"

"Twilight told me about you. Not so great and powerful anymore, now are we?"

Trixie began sobbing again after that. I knew she was a little stuck up... But nopony deserves this.

"Hey, get up. I'm sorry I said that. You need anything? Something to eat, maybe?"

"You... You'd do that for me?"

"Of course. Anything to help a pony in need."

She stood up, in much greater spirits. She walked with me in silence for a minute.

"So... You're DJ 1NS4N1TY?"

"What? How'd you..."

"Your clothes."

I was wearing my jacket and my hat.

"Oh. I thought when I wore them like this, nopony would recognize me."

"The Great And Powerful Trixie can see through any guise you can put on... So what's your real name?"

"Kyle. Well, lets get going. I'll have you fixed right up, no problem. Onwards and upwards! Allons-y!"


Trixie had cleaned herself up, and was stuffing her face with almost all of the contents of my refrigerator.

"Sheesh, you really were hungry, Trixie."

"Well... I've been out of a house and home for about two months now. Ever since Twilight Sparkle ruined my reputation, I've been a laughing stock. I understand that my bragging was wrong, but it was a sales pitch, so to speak. I just wanted ponies to start gossiping so that more would come to my shows."

"Ouch... That must've been a real blow to your self esteem."

"You think?"

She cleaned her plate... Again... And stood up.

"Well, thank you for the help. I guess you'll want me to leave now..."

"Oh no, I'm not done with you yet. We're paying a visit to the Boutique."

Her eyes lit up.


The bell above the door jingled as I walked into Rarity's store. The stuck-up pony smiled when she saw she had customers.

"Ah, Kyle! Welcome... Who's your friend- Oh. It's YOU."

Trixie curled up on the floor as Rarity approached.

"Waitwaitwait! Rarity, calm down..."

Trixie stood up, still shaking a bit.

"I'm... Sorry for the way I acted before. I hope you can forgive me."

Rarity blinked. "Oh... Oh no hard feeling dear. Now, why is it that you two are here?"

"Actually, I was hoping I could buy Trixie some new clothes for performances."

"But I'm not an actor anymore..."

"Not if I can help it."

Rarity and Trixie smiled at me.

"Alright then... Do you want the same design as last time?"

"Yes. Thank you so much."

"So, Rarity... How much?"

"Nothing. This one is out of the kindness of my heart."

Well, I guess miracles DO exist.


We left Rarity's store, as she needed to work. What next...?

"OK, now we need to talk to Pinkie about getting a stage set up."

"Are you sure? I don't think I'm ready yet."

"Trixie, look at your Cutie Mark, you were BORN ready."

Her face lit up.

"You're right! Let's go see... Pinkie, was it?"

"Yeah." I saw Pinkie bouncing around outside of the bakery. "Oh, there she is. Hey! Pinkie Pie!"

"Oh! Hi Kyle! My ribs were itchy, so I knew you would be coming!"

"Itchy ribs...? Ah, whatever. Pinkie, do you think you could set up a stage for me?"

"Okie-Dokie-Lokie! For who?"

"That would be me." Trixie stepped forward. Pinkie frowned.

"But you're a meanie! Why would I help YOU?"

"Pinkie, she's changed... I Pinkie Pie promise."

"Cross your heart and hope to fly?" Pinkie asked, looking at me quizzically.

"Stick a cupcake in my eye." I slapped my hand on my eye. "OW."

Pinkie giggled. "Alright! I'll set up the stage! Bye-bye!" She bounced off.

"Alright... What's next?"

"I need more powders and such for effects. And I could go for some fireworks."

"I'll ask Pinkie about the fireworks later... The powder... Zecora. We need to go to the Everfree Forest."

"WHAT? WHY!?!?"

"I knew you would react like that... We need to meet with one of my friends who lives out there."

"She LIVES out there?"

"Yeah. No time to explain. Let's go."


I walked into Zecora's hut. She turned from her cauldron and smiled when she noticed who it was.

"Ah! If it isn't Kyle. I have been meaning to ask if I were to find you... Why do you not have lasting effects from the flowers that are blue?"

"Flowers that are... Oh! You mean the Poison Joke? I dunno. I have a really tough immune system. Maybe that's why?"

"No... The Joke effects your mind... You must have much willpower to withstand prolonged effects."

"I guess so. Hey, I need a favor. Do you have any sparkly dust or something like that? My friend here, Trixie, needs some for her performance."

"That I do. Always good to help you."

Trixie finally spoke. "Does she always speak in rhymes?"


Zecora came back with a few jars of really sparkly powder. "This powder is enchanted with zebra magic, to have such a beautiful thing wasted would be tragic."

"Don't worry, I won't waste any of it." Trixie took the bottles.

"Thanks Zecora. It was nice seeing you again!"

"You too."


It was later at night, and everypony had gathered to see the performance... But they didn't know who the actor was.

I sat in the front row, eager to see what would happen. Then Twilight nudged me.

"Hey. Mind telling me what this is about?"

"I found that pony you told me about, Trixie. She had fallen on hard times, so I helped her back on her hooves."

Twilight frowned when she heard that. "Well, did she learn her lesson?"

"That she did."

Twilight nodded, trusting me. She told everypony else.

Then, I heard Trixie's voice, amplified by a spell.


Here we go...


The curtain rose, and the performance began...


Everypony cheered. I heard whooping and hollering and whistling. Trixie went backstage and got out of her costume, and came around front to see me.

"I can't explain how thankful I am..."

"No need. Always a pleasure to help. I'm glad to see you're going to be successful again, Trixie... But don't let it get to your head. You don't want history repeating itself."

She nodded her head frantically. "I promise, I won't let my ego swell as much as it did last time."

"Yeah. I already have to deal with one pony with a massive ego." I looked over at Dashie, who was looking back, a proud expression on her face.

"Well, thank you again, Kyle. This means so much. When I come back to Ponyville, I'll get you a free front row seat."

I chuckled. "Thanks Trixie. You'd better be off now."

"Right. Goodbye!" I saw a puff of smoke. When it was cleared, I could see her running off in the distance. I chuckled again.

Chapter 38: Cupcakes?

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"Wow, these are really good." I was trying out Pinkie's cupcakes. I never got around to doing it before.

"Oooh! I just KNEW you would love them! I used my super extra special ingredient!"

"And just what might that be then?"

"It's a secret! Tee-hee."

I loved the cupcakes, but something was eating at me.

"Hey Pinkie, do you know where Dashie is? it's been a few days since I last saw her."

"I dunno. But there'll always be a piece of her in you. That's what love is, right?"

I brightened up a bit after she said that. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

I ate the last of the cupcake... It was colored like rainbows. Definitely better then the ones my Mom used to make.

"Alright, I gotta split, Pinkie. You know, music to make, fans to please. Seeya!"


She put on an apron and headed down into her basement.


I sat at my setup, trying to think of music to make. But the only thing on my mind was Dashie.

"Where could she be? I know she likes to run off sometimes, but this is a bit much..." I was talking to myself again.

I couldn't think of anywhere that she would be, other than where she practices. I had already checked there a few times.

"GRRRR! I can't stand it when I can't figure something out..."

Then a thought popped into my head.

"Wait... Pinkie said that a piece of her would always be with me... But what did she mean by that?"

I kept pondering that, when I thought of Twilight. She's good with cryptic stuff. I got up and grabbed my jacket and hat.

"Boy I hope I'm right."


I knocked on Twilight's door, but I got no answer. I knocked again.


Knock knock knock...


I decided to do this the fun way instead. I flew up to her balcony, and checked if the door was unlocked. It was.

"Too easy..."

I pushed open the door, when I saw a small jet of green flames fly at me.

"AAAH!" I jumped out of the way.

"Kyle? What are you doing? I thought you were a burglar!" Spike had just tried to turn me into a BBQ.

"Didn't you hear me knocking?"


"Yet you heard me quietly open a door?"


"That doesn't make any sense... Whatever. Is Twilight here?"

"No, she went to Pinkie Pie's about an hour ago."

"Oh, thanks Spike. I'm off!"


I landed and Pinkie's, but nopony was there. I decided to go in, as the door was unlocked. What is it with ponies and not locking their doors?

"Pinkie? Twilight?"

I heard a groan from the basement, followed by some clanking and the sound of hooves coming up wooden stairs. The basement door flew open.

"Pinkie? What's the rush? Where's Twilight?"

"Oh... Um... Nowhere! She's nowhere! She isn't downstairs..."

"OOOOO... Kay... What's that on your apron?" It was a crimson red.

"Nothing! Now could you leave? I'm busy."

This wasn't like Pinkie. Her hair was down, and she was in a much more serious mood. This probably has to do with the secret ingredient in her cupcakes...

"Alright, alright... I'm going."

"Wait! Before you go, try this new cupcake!" She handed me a violet cupcake, with dark purple icing.

"Oh, OK. Thanks Pinkie. Seeya later."

I left, eating the cupcake as I walked.


I was still stressing over the disappearance of Dashie, and now Twilight. And now the line Pinkie had told me.

"Hmmm... A little while after Dashie disappeared, Pinkie gave me rainbow-colored cupcakes... Then when Twilight was gone, the cupcakes were purple... And she's been being very secretive lately... Wait..."

The realization hit me like a freight train.


I rushed out the door, and noticed that a lot of ponies were missing from the street. My first idea was to warn everypony that wasn't already... Gone... That was probably the best idea.

"I think I should go warn Rarity first, she's the closest. Then I need to get to Fluttershy... Then AJ."

I dashed out the door, almost un-hinging it from swinging it so fast.


I burst through the doors at Rarity's boutique, and searched around a bit. I saw a wisp of pink swing out the back door.


I chased after her. I swung out the back door, but she was already gone. I ran back inside.


I didn't hear anything. It was too quiet...


I ran upstairs and looked around. All I saw was a white cat sitting on her bed. It looked at me, meowed in a bored tone, and rolled back over.


I rushed back downstairs, and into the kitchen. Then, a look of horror washed over my face, as I looked on the counter...

White crumbs and purple icing stains.


"No... No this can't be happening..."

I paced around Fluttershy's cottage. Angel was sitting on the couch, staring at me with a confused expression.

I had run in and searched the place, but I had seen a lone cupcake that had fallen on the ground. It was pale yellow with pale pink icing.

I collapsed on the couch, head in my hands. I was crying uncontrollably.

"No... Fluttershy... Dashie... Rarity... Twilight... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

I started smacking myself in the head.

"You were too slow. Face it, you can't save them. Give up!"

"Maybe I should..."

"Yeah, just give up. You're not a hero, you're a loser! A LOSER!"

"I am a loser..."

Then, an image of Dashie popped into my head, and I imagined what she would say to me if she would have seen me like this.

"What do you think you're saying? Don't you DARE give up! I won't let you!"

I stopped crying, and stood up.

"You're right. I can't give up. I can't save the rest of my friends, but I can stop this."

I ran out the door.


I ran into the shop, and looked around. Pinkie wasn't here. I ran upstairs, nothing.

"The basement..."

I ran back downstairs, I twisted and yanked on the basement's door knob. It wouldn't budge. It was locked, and I had no way to break in.

"DANG IT!" I banged my fist off of the door.

I heard a crash, and a scream. Then I heard what sounded like a struggle, and then silence.

I ran through the building, looking through drawers and cabinets, looking for two bobby pins. I managed to find some in what looked like Pinkie's bedroom.

"Yes!" I went back to the basement door. I stuck the two bobby pins in the lock, fidgeted them around a bit, and I heard a "Click" as the door unlocked.

I slammed open the door, and sped down the stairs. It was pitch black.


"I'm right here..." She emerged from the dark, her hair down, her eyes seemed to have narrowed. I grabbed her, and slammed her against the wall.

"Wait, Kyle! What are you doing!?!?"

"I won't let you get away with this, Pinkie... You turned all of our friends into CUPCAKES! What were you thinking? WHY!?!?"

"What're ya' talkin' about?"

I heard a click, and the lights came on. I saw a table in the center of the room, covered with cupcakes that were of the same color schemes as my friends, who were all standing there, staring at me in horror.

"Kyle, put here down!" Dashie!

I let go of Pinkie, and looked at everypony.

"B-but... The cupcakes..."

"We made em'. We was gonna' celebrate Dashie's birthday."


I stood there, hanging my head in shame.

"I... I'm sorry..."

Silence. After a few minutes, everypony burst out laughing.

"It's alright, Kyle. Pinkie had a similar issue as well." Twilight sounded forgiving enough.

"Yes, it's quite alright darling. We forgive you."

Everypony started chattering about their forgiveness for a few minutes. Then Dashie spoke up.

"Alright... Now that that's outta the way... LETS EAT!"


After the party, me and Dashie were flying slowly towards her home.

"So... Why were you gone for a few days, Dashie?"

"Oh, I was out practicing in the more mountain-y places. More of a challenge, you know?"

"I guess so. And it's 'Mountainous,' not 'Mountain-y.'"

"Hmph. You would know that, geeky boy."


She chuckled. "Relax, I'm kidding."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Hey, can I sleep on your couch tonight? I don't feel like flying home..."


What an... Eventful day that was, eh?

Chapter 39: Investigation

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I walked down the street of Cloudsdale with Zephyr. We were talking about our relationships.

"So, how are you and Spitfire doing?"

"Great. We've been steadily getting more and more serious over time. Nothing much. How about you and Dash?"

"Amazing. We've been getting much more touchy feel-y lately."

We both laughed.

"So... When are you and Dash planning on... You know..."


"Why not?"

"I'm a TAD BIT too young for that..."

"Yeah, I guess so. Sorry I asked." He rubbed the back of his head with his hoof.

"Don't worry about it." Curse you, mental images.

"What plans do you have for Spitfire?"

"I don't know. I never really thought to plan ahead. She's really nice, but I'm not sure I want to go too far..."

"Don't worry yourself about it. I don't want you to end up having a mental breakdown over it. You seem to LOVE getting WAY too stressed out about things."

"Alright. Hey, I gotta go. I have some clouds to get rid of. Weather pony and all."

"Alrighty then. Seeya dude."

Zeph flew off to bring about the weather that was forcasted for today. Clear skies.


I sat around, thinking of something to do. I was on a bench in the streets of Cloudsdale, as I hadn't bothered to go home. It had been a few hours since I had spoken to Zeph. I'd just wandered around the entire time.

Then, I saw a familiar fiery mane in a window across the street.

"Oh... It's Spitfire. And she's with Zeph. They must have gone on a date when he was done working."

They appeared to be talking, but I can't read lips. After a while, a pegasus pony walked up, and gave them a box lunch. They left the store together, and didn't notice me.

Investigation mode, activated.


I hid in a bush, and I listened in on Spitfire and Zeph's conversation. They were discussing something over lunch.

"... I dunno, Lil' Fire-"

"Zephy, I told you not to call me that!"

"Well stop calling me Zephy!"

"Aww... But it's such a cute name."

"So is Lil' Fire."

"Hmph. Fine."

Yep. They're definitely a couple.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about, Zephy?"

"Well... Well I... You see..."

"What is it?"

"I... I want us to..."

"Come on dude... Spit it out!" I thought. The tension was KILLING ME. The twinge of irony came again.

"Yeeeees?" Spitfire narrowed her eyes and grinned mischievously, leaning in closer to Zeph.

"I want us to move in together!" He almost shouted.

"Oh... Well... My..." She blushed and jerked away from him.

"Oh! Well, this is certainly a development."

"Well... Whaddya say, Lil' Fire?"

"I have to say... YES!"

They both smiled. Then they realized their faces were mere inches from each other.

Their muzzles met, along with a warm embrace.



I sat at home, smiling. I was happy for my friend.

"Well, that was certainly eventful."

Then I heard frantic knocking at my door. I promptly answered.

"Oh, wassup Zephy?"

His face went from frantic excitement, to a look of shock.

"How... How do you..."

"Dude. You've got some courage. You asked her to move in with you?"

"You heard that?"

"Yep. Good going, Casanova."


"Relax dude. I'm happy for you. Brohoof!"

We brohoofed, and then he got down to what he came for.

"Listen... I need to talk to you."

"Sure. What's up?"

"I... I need some advice. You're a romantic, right?"

"You could say that. Why do you ask?"

"Well... You see..."


I couldn't pick up my jaw.

"Dude... That... That's heavy."

"I know... How should I do it?"

"Well... When my Dad proposed to my Mom, he took her out to a nice dinner. Then, he had the band play slow, romantic music, knelt down next to my Mom, and pulled out the ring."

"Wow. That's pretty good."

"Now you know where I got it from."

"Alright... But do you think it's too soon?"

"Yeah. Give it about another month or two. Then, pop the question."

"Alright... Thanks Kyle."

"No problem. I'm always here if you need help. I'm your friend, and you know how much I love to help everypony."

We smiled, and he left.

"Sheesh... So now, I'm helping to stage a proposal... It seems like everypony thinks they should turn to me for all of their problems... It feels good."

I'm like the town miracle worker.

Chapter 40: Planning

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AUTHORS NOTE: Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Other religious holidays of the season. More viewpoint changes here. Same rules as before.

I hadn't even noticed, but it had started snowing a week ago, as this year's winter plan was to have it snow a little late. I had arrived in Equestria on November 10th, my birthday. I've been here for a little over a month, and it was almost Christmas- Er, Hearth Warming, as Twilight told me. A few days away... I wondered how my family and my friends were doing, what with me being gone for Christmas. I shook the thought from my head.

"Hey, Kyle! Up here!"

I looked up, and smiled when I saw Dashie. She landed next to me, the snow crunching below her hooves. Her smile emanated more warmth than any heater could.

"Hey, love." She nuzzled me when I said that.

"I see you're starting to get a little obsessive, don't ya' think?" She pointed to my scarf that Rarity had made for me. It had the same color scheme as Dashie. I blushed.

"Well... Erm... You see..."

"Oh, it's alright. I'm flattered."

We walked together through the moonlit night. I wondered if Zeph was doing the same with Spitfire...



I walked the streets of Cloudsdale with Lil' Fire. I was tempted to pop the question there, but I was determined to follow Kyle's advice. He was right; I didn't want to rush things.

"So, Zephy... What's on your mind?"

"Oh! Um... Er... You see..." I couldn't think of anything to say. She nuzzled my neck.

"Aww... You're so cute when you stutter like that..." I felt my face heat up.

"Hey... Come on... You know it's embarrassing when you do that..."

"I know, that's why I do it, Zephy-wephy."

"You're the worst, Lil' Fire."

"But isn't that what you love about me?"

I chuckled. "Yeah... I guess so. Hey, what do you want for Hearth Warming?"

"Hmmm... How about a romantic dinner?"

My face had to have been glowing red. I remembered what Kyle said.

"Well... When my Dad proposed to my Mom, he took her out to a nice dinner. Then, he had the band play slow, romantic music, knelt down next to my Mom, and pulled out the ring."

My thoughts were racing. But there was one thought plastered all over my mind.

"Does she know?"

"Zephy, what's wrong?" She nuzzled me again.

"Oh! Um... Nothing. A romantic dinner this Hearth Warming sounds... Perfect."



I flew about my home, trying to think of what to do with Kyle for Hearth Warming Eve.

"Should I take him to a romantic-y dinner or something...? No... Too lame. I need an idea that's at least 20% cooler! Hmm..."

"Maybe I could show him a really awesome flying act... Yeah... Yeah that's what I'll do! Then I'll land next to him, and he'll be all like 'Wow Dashie that was awesome!' And then I'll move in for a kiss..."

I almost squee'd at the very thought. I had already kissed him once, but every time I think about it...

"OK, I need to organize this thing... Twilight should be able to help. I'll need some fireworks... Pinkie will definitely be able to help me there... And I could take him to the spot where we first met, the hilly spot of the orchard at AJ's farm... This is gonna rock!"

I flew out the door to meet my friends for all of the preparations.



I sat in my house, having dropped Dashie off at her's a few hours ago. It was getting late, but I couldn't sleep. I was too busy thinking of something to do for Hearth Warming with Dashie. Then it hit me.

"She's really egotistical... She's probably planning something for me. Something to make her look good to me. Gotta keep cool..."

"Hmmmm... What to do..." There was still about a week until Hearth Warming Eve...

"Maybe I could see if Luna wants to do something... Wait... IDEA!"

I realized I was talking to myself, and shifted over to deep thought.

"I could throw a Hearth Warming party. Dashie said we would do something on Hearth Warming Eve. On Hearth Warming DAY, I could throw a big party, with the help of Pinkie Pie, and invite everypony. Even the princesses... This could work..."

So, we've got a proposal, a date, and a party. My plate's full, huh?

Chapter 41: To Kill Time

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"Not long until Hearth Warming... But what to do until then?"

I was thinking to myself. I wanted to do something to pass the time until Hearth Warming Eve... But what?

"Maybe The Doctor will drop by... Oh please no, not my poor coffee table again..."

But guess what karma decided to drop on me? I heard that "Whooshing" again. I jumped up and slid my coffee table out of the way, not wanting to re-assemble it again.

Then, The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, with none other than Derpy.

"Oh, hey. Might I ask why you decided to land in my house?"

"Well, we just wanted to come to spend Hearth Warming here! Ditzy offered to let me stay with her, and I could use a holiday!"

"Ah. Well... Nice to have you back, Derpy."

"Nice to see you too, Kyle!"

"So, can I get you two anything? Tea...?" I looked back to Derpy. "Muffin?"

"Yes please!" Derpy did a clumsy backflip, just barely sticking the landing.

"Yeah, I could go for a spot of tea."

"Gimme a second, I'll get it."

I grabbed some tea that I'd had for a while out of my refrigerator, and took them to my unexpected guests.

"Sorry, it's a bit cold. I don't have a way to heat it up..."

"Oh, that's quite alright. Here." The Doctor grabbed the cups and walked into the TARDIS, walking back out a moment later with steam rising from the cups.

"Well, that's convenient."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

We sat in silence for a moment, when I decided to break it.

"So, what have you two been up to?"

"Oh... Well... You see..." Derpy sounded a little confused, like she couldn't explain what they had done.

"We've been all over the universe, and all through time. We managed to stop a Fralor, a giant worm creature that freezes entire planets to lay their eggs, from destroying Equestria about... A year ago?"

"Ah. Fantastic!" I said, mocking The Doctor.

"Yes, it is."

"Well, what are you two going to do for Hearth Warming this year?"

Derpy perked up when she heard that. "Me and The Doctor are going to Prance!"

"Prance? You're going to hop around town like idiots?"

"Nonono, Kyle. Prance. The really fancy pony city with the big tower? It's across the ocean."

"Wait... Fancy city... Big tower..." I burst out laughing. "AHAHAHA! I GET IT! PRANCE! Oh that's HILARIOUS!"

Derpy looked at me quizzically, but The Doctor had began laughing with me as well.

"Yes, yes it is quite hilarious, isn't it? Remember whenever you first heard them say 'Everypony?'"

"Oh yeah! HA!"

Me and The Doctor kept laughing about puns in pony language in contrast to Earth languages for a while.

"... And then 'Ponies tales.' That's a good laugh too...! Oh hey, look at the time. Derpy, we'd best get going."

"What, why? I want to stay here for a little while longer."

"Why stay here when you can see yourself in fifty years?"

"OK! Bye Kyle!"

"Laters, you two."

They stepped into the TARDIS, and it started whooshing, and fading in and out of this fabric of time.

"Well, that killed a good hour of time."

"What to do now..."

I decided to help Twilight with some spells.


I knocked on the door of the library, but Spike answered.

"Oh, hey Kyle. What's up?"

"Is Twilight here?"

"Yeah, but she's studying. I don't think you wanna-"

Spike was cut off by a faint voice from upstairs.

"Is that Kyle? Let him in!"

"Oh. I guess she want's to see you. Come on in."

"Thanks Spike."

"No problem."

I walked upstairs to find the purple unicorn staring at me, eagerly.

"You're just the stallio- Er, man I wanted to see!"

"What for?"

"I found a new spell that makes you grow wings. And I don't mean the fake wings I gave Rarity, but real flesh and blood wings!"

"Wait, wouldn't that hurt?"

"No. The magic eases all pain you would feel. Wanna give it a try?"

I thought about it. It was dangerous, had way more risks than benefits, and it was Twilight's first time casting the spell.

"Heck yeah!"

Twilight smiled. "Alright, take off your jacket and your shirt. We don't want those getting ripped up, and they might end up binding to you in the transformation."

"Yikes. OK, removing upper body clothing..." I took off my jacket and shirt, revealing a really skinny body. I'm not exactly... Muscular, but I do have some strength in me.

Twilight's horn started to glow, and I felt a strong tingling in my back. Then, the feeling washed away, and all I felt was the folds of my skin tearing, giving way to a new form. I felt bones stretch out of my back, and my skin stretched and grew to overlap them.

"Wow. If I wasn't under magical anesthetics right now, this would PROBABLY hurt... Really bad."

"SHHH! I'm trying to concentrate."


The transformation was almost finished. I felt the wings folding backwards onto my back. They felt like a whole bunch of people touching me at once.

"Done... Woah... Kyle... You... I mean they're..."

"Mirror, please."

Twilight floated a mirror in front of me. My jaw dropped when I saw myself.

I had large wings, with no feathers, just skin, sticking out of me. They folded onto my back like a pegasus' wings. I tried to learn how to use the muscles. I learned quick, and in no time I could stretch them out and flap them.

"These aren't permanent... Right?"

"Oh, no. I used a weak charge for the spell. It should wear off in a few hours. The shoes I enchanted should give you a boost when you use THOSE." She pointed to the large folds of flesh I was flapping around.

"Awesome. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go test these babies out. Onwards and upwards, Allons-y!"

I flew out the window.


I landed at Dashie's house. I had really gotten the hang of those wings. I knocked on the cloud door.

"Dashie! You aren't gonna believe this!"

Rainbow Dash opened the door, and her face had a look of sheer horror when she saw me.

"KYLE! OHMYGOSH WHAT HAPPENED? Are you alright? Do you need me to take you to Fluttershy? Can I-"

"Relax, love. These are the results of a successful test of a spell on me, courtesy of Twilight Sparkle."

Dashie sighed in relief, and then grinned wildly. She had an idea.

"Wanna go practice?"

"Oh yeah."


Dashie had taught me how to do barrel rolls, loops, spins, and all sorts of other tricks. My time was almost up though.

"Dashie, the wings are gonna wear off soon. I think we should call it a day."


We landed on the familiar hill. It was the same hill we had our first kiss on.

"So... What do you think of having wings, Kyle? Isn't it awesome?"

"Yeah. But I already have the shoes. The wings are just MUCH more powerful... But I would prefer the shoes. They let me wear a shirt." I couldn't put my shirt back on, so I was still flying around topless.

"Well, I think you look like a hunk."

"Oh come on now. You're just saying that. Look at me, I'm a beanpole."

"Exactly. You're a lean, mean, fighting machine." She poked me in the chest with each word.

"Heh. I guess I am." She was stroking my ego like an evil villain strokes a cat.

"Hey... You're wings are shaking." Dashie was staring at my new appendages.

"Hm? AGH!" I felt a sharp jolt of pain, then the wings began to shake violently. I felt my bones crunching and re-arranging. Then it hit me.

"Twilight was quelling the pain with her magic!"


"AAAAAAAGH!" I fell to the ground, tears rolling from my eyes. I felt my skin start to tighten, and the bones were smashing themselves down to size to fit where they were before the wings.

"Kyle! Oh no... What do I do?" She gingerly touched a stub on my back from where the wing was.

"AH! No... Just don't- AGH...! Just don't touch me..."

Dashie pulled away, upset that she had hurt me. I saw tears welling up in her eyes.

"Ugh... Hng... Ahhh..." I was writhing on the ground. The re-transformation was finishing.

As soon as it was done, the pain was gone. I stood up, my eyes bloodshot, my nose running.

"Well... That was... Unpleasant..." I felt really woozy.

"Kyle? Are you going to be OK?"

I couldn't answer. The darkness of unconsciousness was already consuming my vision. I began to fall over.


I hit the ground, and then I was out like a light.

Chapter 42: I LIVE!

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I woke up in a familiar bed, in a familiar cottage.

"Ohhh... Hey, Shy."

I looked over, and saw not only Fluttershy, but Twilight as well.

"Oh... Hey Twi." I decided to start using her nickname.

"Kyle..." Fluttershy rubbed her eyes, then smiled. "You're really awake! You're OK!"

"I can't believe it..." Twilight stared at me intently. "You're alive..."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... I used a spell to check what the damage was after you changed back... And it was really bad. Your spine was damaged in four different areas... You should be dead."

"But... I could stand up... Wouldn't my back being damaged paralyze me?"

"You must've gotten really lucky. I used my magic to repair the damage... And I set it back straight. It was all crooked."

"Yeah. That's what was causing my back pains. Thank you SO MUCH." I stood up.

"Oh... You should rest Kyle... I mean... If that's OK..."

"Nah, I'll be alright."

I walked downstairs, when I saw a streak of cyan fly at me. Dashie grabbed me, and hugged me tight. She was crying her eyes out.

"K-Kyle... I-I t-thought y-you weren't g-g-gonna w-wake up..."

I hugged her back, holding on like my life depended on it. I didn't want to let go.

"It's alright, love. I'm here... I won't leave you... I would never do that to you..."

She just kept crying. I looked around, and noticed everypony else here as well. Pinkie, AJ, Rarity, Zeph, Spitfire, and... Luna? Woah.

"It's good to see that you are OK." Luna had apparently been really worried. As was everypony else.

"Well shoot, Ah'm glad that Yer' alright. I 'xpected th' worst..."

"Don't scare us like that you meanie-weenie-bo-beanie!"

"Oh my... You look absolutely horrible. Your back is completely red..." How did Rarity... Oh, I didn't have my shirt on.

"Dude... Are you alright?" Zeph looked at me, genuine worry in his eyes.

"Sheesh, kid. You had me and Zephy scared to death..."

"Sorry, Spits." I smirked at the idea.

Zeph got an evil grin on his face.

"Spits... I like that."

"Zephy, don't get any ideas..."

"What was that, Spits?"

"Yeah. They'll make a wonderful family."

"Alright then... Now that I'm not dead, what say we all go hang out somewhere?"

"All of us?" Zeph looked at me quizzically.

"Yeah. Any ideas?"

Pinkie tackled me.

"How about your house? We could have a 'Glad you're OK' party!"

"That sounds like a great idea. Everypony! To my house! Onwards and upwards, Allon-"

"Wait... Kyle...?"

"Yeah Shy?"

"Your shirt..."



We all walked into my house... Which had streamers, balloons, snacks...

"Pinkie, how do you do it?"

"Oh, that's my secret, Kyle."

"Wait, what? How did you..."

"My secret!"


Vinyl was at a setup rigged in my living room.

"Oh how the turntables have spun, eh kid?"

"Yeah, yeah... You're DJing at a party for me... Don't let it get to your head, Vinyl."

Octavia stepped out of the crowd of ponies who were already here, and leaned on Vinyl.

"Oh Vinyl... When will this business be done so we can spend some time together?"

"Soon, Cello-girl."

"I'll just leave you two to it, then."

I walked away, not wanting to intrude anymore.

Dashie approached me from in the crowd. She motions for me to come to her.

"Hey, Dashie. What's up?"

"I just wanted to say again... I'm really glad you're OK... I don't know what I would have done if you wouldn't have woken up."

"Well, know that I'll always be there for you, Dashie. I'd ever let anything take me away from you. Not even death itself can tear me from you."

I was so busy talking to her, I didn't even notice that we were ascending the stairs.

"Thanks. You really are in love with me..."

"Well... Yeah... I guess so..." I rubbed the back of my head. Then I realized where we were. We were standing in my bedroom.

"Huh? How did we get-" I stopped, and thought for a moment.

"Wait... WOAH WOAH WOAH... Alright... Calm yourself... You need to gain control of this situation..."

"Dashie, I don't know..."


"But maybe..."

She brought her muzzle to my mouth, and we both fell on the bed.

Chapter 43: It Happened...

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I began to wake up, and I felt a warmth around my chest. I stirred a bit, and opened my eyes.

I rolled over, and looked right into a familiar pair of violet eyes. Dashie appeared to had just woken up as well. She had her front hooves wrapped around me, and a satisfied smile on her face.

"Dashie? Why are you-"

I opened my eyes fully, and the shock woke me up, causing my memory to rush back to me. I pinched myself on the side, but nothing happened.

"This... Isn't a dream..."

"No... It isn't..." She sounded like she was still really tired.



"OH MY GODDESSES WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?" I threw my hands to my head, and started going completely mental... I mean I... WITH A PONY...

"Kyle! Calm down!" Dashie was up now, and she was staring at me, both confused, and worried.

"But we... I mean I... With you..."


I stood there for a moment, processing all of this in my mind.

"Alright..." I sighed heavily. "What's done is done... And I should be thankful it was with you, Dashie." A smile broke across my face.

"Glad to see you're calm now. Well, I gotta go, we have a snowstorm planned for today. So you stay inside, lover boy."

My face turned a deep crimson red, and Dashie laughed as she flew out of my window.

"Alrighty then..." I put some pants and a shirt on, as I was only in my underwear, and I headed downstairs to see if anypony else was still here.

I saw Vinyl passed out on her setup with Octavia. They had apparently hung out all night, and partied pretty hard. But nopony partied as hard as I did... This will either haunt me or bless me, forever...

"OOOOHHH! Hi Kyle! So, what were you and Dashie doing upstairs?" Pinkie bounced over to me. She had woken up a few hours ago, by the looks. She had a look on her face that made me think she already knew.

"Well, you see, when a mare and a... Man... Love each other very much..."

Pinkie's smile widened.

"I knew it! Now I have to throw you two a party!"

I went pale, and I grabbed her shoulders to make her look at me.


"Yes sir!" Pinkie gave me a comical salute, and trotted over to the snack table to finish off what was left. I stepped over a few unconscious ponies, and saw Zeph and Spitfire talking about something. When they saw me approaching, their conversation immediately ended, and they both grinned at me.

"So... You've done it, huh?"

"Zeph... Do you know what I think you know?" I looked at him, knowing the answer.

He nodded, and Spitfire started laughing.

"Heck, almost everypony knows. Me and Zephy saw you go upstairs. Good going, Romeo."


Spitfire and Zeph both laughed.

"Alright. Well dude, we have to get going. We have practice soon. Seeya!" Zeph waved as he readied his wings.

"See you two later."

They left, and I sat down on my sofa. I was still trying to completely process everything, but I knew one thing: I'm a man now.

I pinched myself again. I sighed. "This really isn't a dream... Confound these ponies, they drive me to insanity."

"On one hand, it was with the one I love... But on the other hand, SHE'S A PONY."

Even my mind was battling it out with conflicting standings. Part of me wanted to be happy, another wanted me to punch myself in the face.

"OK... Calm down... It's been done. You can't reverse it... Be thankful for what you have..."

Yep, still talking to myself.

"Well, sounds like yer' mighty troubled there, Kyle."

"Yeah, no kidding, AJ. I don't know what to think..."

"Well, why don't'cha start by tellin' me what happened?"

My face turned red again. "I don't know if you even WANNA know..."

"Y'all can tell me anything."

"Alright... Well, last night..."

I told her. I didn't go into detail though...


"... And that's it. Now I'm here, freaking out over it." I felt a lot better since I could talk about it.

"Well, Ah' think Ya' should be glad that Ya' done it with Rainbow. She's a nice mare, and Y'all got a good thing goin' on. Be happy fer' what happened, n' always treasure that memory."

I smiled. "You're right... I shouldn't be freaking out about this. No matter what anypony says... I'll be happy... Thanks for talking with me about this, AJ. You're a good friend."

She gave a friendly hug. "T'weren't nothin'. Anything t' help a friend in need. I gotta get back t' th' farm, but know that Ah'll be there fer' Ya' if Ya' ever need anypony t' talk to." She trotted out the door. A lot of the ponies had woken up and left. The only two who hadn't were Vinyl and Octavia.

I walked over to them, and gently tapped them both with my foot.

"Oi. Wake up. Time to go."

Vinyl raised her head, and pushed up her shades to look at me. "Oh, hey kid... Nice going."

"Wait, what?"

She stood up. "You and Dashie. Nice going!"

"Does EVERYPONY who was here know about that?"

Octavia had woken up. "Pretty much. Everypony saw you two go up the stairs together. You're such a cute couple."

"Octavia... Shut up." Vinyl shot her a look.

"Alright... I get it. Everypony knows. Big deal."

"Yeah. Well, we gotta get going. Some guys'll be by to pick up my setup here in about an hour. Seeya. Come on, Octavia."

"Goodbye, Kyle."


They left, and I was alone.

"Ugh..." I plopped back down on my sofa.

"I'm never gonna hear the end of this..."

Chapter 44: Worst. Day. EVER.

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AUTHORS NOTE: I just wanted to give a shout-out to RainbowCrash20, author of the fanfic "The TARDIS in Equestria." Great story, bro!

I sat at home, think about going out that day.

"Everypony might think I'm a freak... And what will they say to Dashie?"

I was proud of what had happened, that was for sure. But I was still worried about Dashie's and my reputation.

"You know what, bugger to whatever anypony else thinks!" I jumped up off the sofa and threw on my jacket and hat. "Nopony can ruin my good mood."

I walked outside, and nopony paid me any mind. That is, nopony but the familiar five standing in front of me.

"Oh, hey everypony. What's up?"

Twi cleared her throat. "Well... It's about you and Rainbow Dash..."

"Ah' told em' not t' confront Ya' 'bout it. Sorry, Kyle."

"Nah, it's OK, AJ. What is it you wanted to tell me, Twi?"

"Well... We don't think that the more... Physical aspects of your relationship are completely... Healthy..."

All the color drained from my face. "W-what do you mean?"

"Well, we just think that you two went a bit too far."

"Darling, we're worried about you two..." Rarity sounded sincere, but I wasn't so sure.

"I... I don't want anything to happen... I mean... If it's alright with you for me to worry..." Fluttershy hid behind her mane.

"Yeah! We don't want any frownzy-wounzies between you two!" Pinkie jumped up and down as she said that.

The color came back to my face... But I started shaking. Not from fear, but from anger.

"So... You think you can all just show up here and tell me how to work my relationship?" I managed to sound calm, but I sure didn't look it.

"Kyle, we're just worried..." Twi levitated a book she had with her to read from it "My books tell me-"

I smacked the book down. "To the moon with what your books say! It's my love life, I can run it as I please!"

Everypony took a step back when I did that. I wasn't one who could suppress anger easily...

"Kyle... Ah' think Ya' might wanna jus' simmer down there..."

"No. Now you all listen HERE. I won't have any of you waltzing around, acting like you know what I should and shouldn't do. I know you're my friends, but even friends have boundaries, an you all just crossed a VERY important one. Now, good day."

I stomped off, leaving everypony staring, bewildered.


I sat at my favorite restaurant, sipping on a coffee. Coffee always calms my nerves.

I sat there, listening to my MP3 Player, sipping my coffee for about ten minutes. I was still upset at my friends for confronting me like that.

I felt a few stares, and then I heard a whisper. "Hey... It's Kyle... Yeah I heard to... Gross, huh?"

I slammed my coffee on the table, and stood up. I walked over to the source of the whisper: A pegasus, with basketballs as his Cutie Mark, and large brown bangs covering his eyes.

"Ooooh, what're you gonna do, huh? Call your marefriend, Rainbow CRASH?

Then I lost it. I grabbed him by the throat, and slammed him against the wall. He was REALLY heavy.

"Now you listen here, PUNK. If you EVER," I slowly pulled my arm back, "EVER SAY THAT ABOUT DASHIE AGAIN..."


I threw the punch. It connected right with his mouth. He spit, and I saw a white chunk hit the floor. I had knocked one of his teeth out.

I let go of him, and he slid to the ground. He got up, and ran out the door, crying.

Everypony in the restaurant was staring now.

"What're y'all looking at?" I picked up my coffee and left.


I sat on a park bench. I didn't feel like going back into town, mainly because I was afraid I would be arrested for assault.

"Kyle...?" I felt a soft touch on my back.

"AH!" I jumped and turned around, and I saw Shy. I grabbed my chest. My heart was pounding.

"Holy frijoles, don't DO THAT!"

"Oh... I'm sorry..."

"It's alright... Phew... Now, what is it you wanted?"

"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry... We didn't mean to make you angry..."

I sighed heavily. I had gotten so worked up...

"No... No it's alright... I shouldn't have gotten so angry..."

Shy smiled. "I'll be sure to tell everypony else." She flew off.

Then, I heard something scary.

"Excuse me sir." I turned around, and saw a royal guard, who were like the police of Equestria.


"Are you the one who attacked this pegasus?" He pointed to the pegasus I had attacked, who was standing there, scared witless.

"Ummm... Yeah I am..." The guilt made me confess...

"Then I have to ask you to come with me."

Karma, WHY?

Chapter 45: Playing Jailbreak

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I sat in the back of the chariot, with nopony else but a guard. The guard looked at me, and then did something I would have never expected: He smiled.

"Hey, I just wanted to say, I respect you for beating that stallion across the face. He used to make fun of my son all the time. I just wanna let you know, I'm on your side in this."

"Thanks..." I didn't know his name.


"Thanks Rendan. I would rock him another one if he were here right now, for your son."

His smile widened, but it disappeared whenever we landed.

"Alright, we're here. Move."

I got out, and looked around. We were in Canterlot, outside of the castle. I followed the guards, and we approached the large, wooden doors of the castle. We went inside, and I saw Celestia standing there, a disgusted look on her face.

"Kyle... When I heard it was you, I couldn't believe it. But now that you are here..."

"I know, you're going to give me the whole 'Oh I'm so disappointed in you' spiel. Save it, because I know how it goes." I knew I was being disrespectful, but I wasn't in the best of moods.

Celestia's jaw dropped when I said that, surprised at the fact that someone was talking back to her. Then, her expression darkened.

"Send him to the dungeon. Make sure he doesn't hurt anypony else on the way."

"Yes, Princess. Move it, bub." One of them shoved me.

"I'm going, I'm going. Cheeky bugger..."


The cell door closed with a mighty CLANG, as my freedom came to an end.

"Ugh... Well this is just great..." I put my hands in my pocket, when I felt something. I pulled it out. A screwdriver.

"Oh yeah, I use this to pick the lock when I forget my key..." I looked at the lock of the cell. It looked really old, and easy to pick.

I shoved my hand back in my pocket, and I grinned when I felt that I had a few bobby pins.

"Alright..." I looked around, and I chuckled when I realized there were no guards.

"Well, that was certainly a stupid move." I reached through the bars, and put the bobby pin in the lock, and the screwdriver on the rim.

I had fiddled with it for a good two minutes, when I heard a "Click." I pushed on the cell door, and it opened.

"Am I really doing this...? Heck yes I am! Anything to not spend my whole life here."

I crouched down, and was on my way. I peeked around the corner I had rounded on my way here.

I saw only one guard. I didn't feel like hurting him. I looked around, and saw a rock. I picked it up, and threw it further down the hallway at another cell's door.


"What was that?" The guard came into the hall, and didn't even bother looking my way. He just walked straight to the source of the noise. I quickly made my way up the stairs he was guarding.

On the next floor, I was in a narrow hallway. There were nine doors, eight of them lining the hall, and then the last at the end. I headed straight for the last one. I peeked through the keyhole, and I saw the edges of two guards' flanks.


I grabbed the door, and turned the knob slowly. I gathered all of my strength, and bashed the door outwards. I saw the guards stumbling. One of them had slammed against the wall, knocking him out. The other was trying to get up.

"Good thing I took karate when I was little." I ran over to him, and smacked him in the side of the neck. He was out like a light.

I dragged them both into the previous hallway, and looked in each of the doors. One of them was a storage closet. I opened the door and put the two unconscious guards in, and closed it up.

"Ohhh... If I get caught I am in SO much trouble..."

I snuck back out into the large hallway that I had knocked out those two guards to get to. There was another staircase. I decided that since I was in a dungeon, I was farther underground. I went up.

As soon as I was at the top of the stairs, I rounded a corner and bumped into somepony. I looked up, and saw intense green eyes staring back at me.

"Kyle! How did you..." It was Luna.

"Shhh... Listen, Luna. I know that I'm supposed to be locked up, but there is NO WAY I'm wasting away in a dungeon. Please... Just let me go..."

Luna pondered this for a second, and then nodded. "I'll let you go. You have done so much for me. Besides, if you hurt somepony, they probably deserved it."

"Yeah, you have no idea. Thanks, Luna."

"Yes, thank you, Luna." Oh no...

Celestia rounded the corner, and stared at me, anger in her eyes.

"So, you're trying to escape, are you? Well... We just can't have that..." I saw her horn start to glow a bright pink, and so did I. She picked me up, but then, a dark blue surrounded me, pulling me back to the ground.

"Sister, I understand that what Kyle did was wrong, but he had a reason."

"Luna, it was assault! I can't let him off for that."

"What if he was your sisters only friend, Celestia?"

Celestia stopped, and stared at me, then her sister.

"Alright... Kyle, explain to me why you attacked that pegasus."



"... So I punched him in the face."

"Ah. I see. You were defending the honor of Rainbow Dash and yourself."

"Yes. Exactly."

Celestia smiled at me, and then to Luna.

"Kyle, you may go."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes. This never happened."

"OK. Well... There are two guards in a storage closet downstairs..."

"I'll think of something to tell them."

"Phew... Thanks, Celestia."

I walked out of the castle, and stared off into the sky.

"Man am I glad THAT'S over..."

Chapter 46: A Certain Rude Griffon

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I sat on a bench in Sugarcube Corner, watching everything going on. I saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders messing about, trying in vein to get their Cutie Marks, I saw AJ selling her apples. She waved to me. I saw Pinkie jumping around in the bakery, singing about cupcakes. I leaned back and closed my eyes. A smile broke across my face. Life was good.

"Well howdy Kyle." I opened my eyes, and saw Big Mac standing in front of me.

"Oh, wassup Mac?"

"Well, Ah' jus' wanted t' congratulate Ya' an' all... Ya' know, you n' Rainbow Dash..."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks dude. How goes it with you and Shy?"

"It's goin' great! She n' Ah' r' actually good friends now. Pretty soon, t' should be more n' that."

"Oh, well great job! I wish you luck."

"That's mighty kind of Ya' Kyle. Well, I'll seeya later then."

"Seeya Mac."

"Well good for him..."

I got up, not wanting to end up falling asleep.

"Maybe I'll go hang out with Dashie..."

I flew off, heading towards Dashie's cloud home.


I knocked on the door, and Dashie answered, smiling and slightly blushing when she saw me.

"Oh... H-hey Kyle..."

"Hey, Dashie... Ummm... May I come in? I-I mean in your house..." Curse my head being in the gutter.

Dashie realized what I tried to avoid, and blushed deeply. "Umm... Y-yeah. Sure..."

I stepped inside, and I noticed some creature standing in the foyer. It looked like a giant eagle. Woah, a griffon.

"Oh, who's this?"

"Oh, sorry Kyle. I didn't tell you I had company. Kyle, this is Gilda. Gilda, Kyle."

"So you're the one who's been giving it to Dash, huh?"

Dashie and I blushed at that.

"C-Come on Gilda..."

"Relax, Dash, I'm kidding." Gilda walked over to me, and started looking me over.

"Hmmm... Dash told me you were a different species, but I never thought you would look this ugly!"


"HAHA! Gotcha!"

"I really don't like this griffon... Do they all act like this?"

"Well, Dashie... The reason I came over is because I wanted to see if you wanted to go on a date."

"Oh! Sure. Where do you wanna go?"

"I was thinking we could go shopping for Hearth Warming. I haven't really done that yet..."

Dashie put on her new scarf, a DJ 1NS4N1TY scarf covered in neon-colored lines, like rave lights. "Don't worry, me neither. Hey Gilda, do you just wanna go out on the town while me and Kyle hang out?"

"Sure. I'll stay away from the house for a while. I don't wanna see anything I won't un-see." She laughed, and flew out the door.

"She's not very nice..."

"Yeah, I know... I had to kick her out of town once."

"Wow. Alrighty then, lets get going. Onwards and upwards!"

Dash and I then spoke in unison. "ALLONS-Y!"


We walked around Sugarcube Corner, bundled up. I had on gloves and earmuffs, along with my jacket and hat. Dashie still just had her scarf.

"So, what did you get me?" Dashie looked at the presents I had in my trolley, which I am glad that provide in Equestria. I would't have been able to carry all of those presents.

"Not telling. You have to wait until Hearth Warming day..."

"You're mean. Then I'm not telling what I got for you!"

I put my face close to hers. "I love surprises."

"Me too..."

A quick kiss, and we were back to shopping.

Then, we saw Fluttershy run by, crying her eyes out.

"WAIT! Shy, what's wrong?" I held her by the shoulders.

"G-G-Gilda w-was m-m-making fun of m-me..."

Then, AJ and Twilight walked up.

"Yeah. She's been messing with everypony all day. She hit Scootaloo for bothering her."

Dashie went pale. I started to shake, and I was seeing red. "SHE WHAT?!?!"

"Yeah. An' she raised a ruckus all over Mah' farm. She knocked over one of Mah' trees, n' called Apple Bloom a brat."

"Alright... That's IT! I've heard enough... Where is she?"

"Well, last we saw of her, she was near the park..."

"Dashie, I'll be right back. I have some BUSINESS to attend to..."


I stormed down the street, observing the park. And sure enough, there was Gilda, harassing Rarity.

"... Yeah? Well your dresses look HORRIBLE! I bet Applejack has better style than you..."

Rarity stood stone still. I saw tears welling up in her eyes, and then she bolted off. I could feel the anger pulsating through my veins.


"Oh, look at the little pony-lover... Did I hurt your friends feelings? What're you gonna do about it?"

She started to fly up in the air, but I grabbed her leg, and yanked her down to the ground. I grabbed a tuft of feathers on her chest, and pulled her closer to me. She probably could have seen the flames in my eyes.

"Now you listen to me, chicken-brain... If you ever come near Ponyville again, I will personally CLIP YOUR WINGS, AND BOIL YOU INTO A FINE STEW AND SERVE YOU BACK TO YOUR FAMILY! DO YOU HEAR ME!?!?

I threw her backwards, and her beak was wide open, as were here eyes. I walked a little closer, and she scrambled back a bit. Then, she grabbed some snow and threw it at me. It hit me right in the eyes, and it stung.


"Hah! Not so tough now, are ya'?"

"GILDA! STOP IT!" Dashie had caught up with us, and was screaming at her friend.

"What's the matter? I'm just having a bit of fun!"

"You've gone too far, just like last time! Why can't you just learn your lesson? What you're doing is WRONG, Gilda. It isn't nice, and you just hurt Kyle."


My eyes cleared up, and I walked over to Gilda, still seeing red. I gave her a quick smack across the face, and then shoved her down. I crouched down by her and started screaming.


Gilda said nothing, but just stared at me. Everypony else was staring as well.

"Get out of here. NEVER COME BACK! Equestria is no place for you. You don't belong here. You never have, and you never will. You don't DESERVE Equestria." I stood up, and walked over to my friends. Gilda just laid there.

"Good goin' Kyle. Ya' gave her a right what fer'."

Shy sniffled and wiped her eyes, and just smiled at me.

"Kyle..." Dashie looked at me with hurt in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Dashie. I know she's your friend, but she just can't be here. Not if she's doing things like that..."

"I know... She got what she deserved... Thanks."

Gilda stood up, and just flew off, without another word. We all headed off to help anypony Gilda had hurt. Me and Dashie went off to find Scootaloo.


Scootaloo was huddled in a corner, crying. She had managed to stop by the time we approached her.

"Hey, Scoots... Are you OK?" I kneeled down next to her.

"N-N-No... That griffon... She j-just came up to me w-while I was p-practicing how t-to fly, and she just knocked m-me down."

"Well, why didn't you tell your parents?" Dashie asked, sitting down next to me.

"They aren't here anymore... They h-had me and j-just left me a-at the orphanage I live at..."

Me and Dashie looked at each other, and back to Scoots.

"That's horrible... So, you're all alone... I know how you feel."

Scoots started crying again, and jumped into my arms. I hugged her.

"It's alright... Just let it all out... It's good to cry..."


"Don't worry Dashie, I got her."

"I-It's not f-fair... I-I-I just want a f-family... Somep-pony to l-love me..."

Me and Dashie looked at each other again, but this time, an idea came up. Dashie smiled, and nodded her head. I smiled back.

"Well, you do have family now..."

I pointed to Dashie. "Meet Mom..."

I pointed to myself.

"And Dad."

Chapter 47: Family Life

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Scootaloo was jumping around like she was on fire from sheer joy.


"Yeah. Now can ya' calm down, squirt?" Dashie was acting completely calm. I was freaking out.

"I'm a DAD... Holy frijoles... What have I gotten myself into?"

"DADDY!" Scootaloo jumped at me.

"Ah!" I caught her. We both started laughing. "Calm yourself, kiddo. Me and Da- Mommy need to talk." Dashie turned red when I said that. I put Scootaloo down, and she waited patiently.

Me and Dashie lowered our tones to a whisper.

"So... What do you suggest we do? I dunno about us living apart..."

"Then why don't you move in with me, Kyle? I have plenty of room, and I can get Derpy to lend me her shipment crew for all of your larger things."

"Oh... Ummm... I-I... But what about my recording equipment?"

"I've got an attic." She looked at me with a gleam in her eye. I wasn't winning this one.

"Alright... Yeah. I can make a good bit of money selling my house too. I'd better get home and start packing... Hey, Scoots, wanna help?"

"Sure, Dad!"

I felt my heart jump when she said that... Dad... I like it.


Me and Scoots walked all around my house, packing everything into boxes. I only had about three boxes of things so far. I never was one for decoration. Or furniture.

"Wow... I can't believe I'm going to get to live with you and Rainbow Dash..."

"Yeah, well... Be thankful, Scoots. Everything has value, and family is priceless."


We packed up the last box, and hauled it outside to the crew that Dashie had Derpy bring.

"Here's the last one. Be careful with it."

The strong looking pegasus nodded, and he flew off with the rest of the team. Now we just needed to move my recording equipment.

"Hey, Dad?" That was going to take some getting used to...


"Can we go home now?"

I smiled and nodded. I kneeled down, and she climbed onto my shoulders. I would have to have Dashie teach her to fly.



"Onwards and upwards, allons-y!"


I landed at Dashie's doorstep, and Scoots jumped down to the "Ground" of the cloud.

"Wow... I've never been up on the clouds before!"

"Really? Well, here you go then."

Scoots ran inside, and Dashie walked out the door, and leaned on me.

"So... We're really doing this, aren't we?"

I put my hand on top of her head. "Yeah. We need to. It's the right thing to do... And besides, it'll be fun."

"Well, I'm glad we're raising her together."

"Me too."

Then, we heard a crashing noise, followed by a gasp.

"Oops..." Scoots stepped out of the door, and smiled sheepishly.

"What was that...?"

"I knocked over a mirror."

"Kyle...?" Dashie looked to me, seeming a bit angry.

"I'll get the glue..."

Chapter 48: Love Is Eternal

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AUTHORS NOTE: As I said in my recent blog post, I need voice actors for the Audio Book of this story. Just see the post for details. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

"*Yawn*" I woke up, groggy from all of the moving. I had to move all of my DJ equipment into the attic...I was aching all over. I had slept in my clothes. I started getting undressed to put on a fresh outfit. I took off my sneakers... And immediately fell through the floor of the cloud home.


Here we go again...

I was just about to hit the ground, when a purple glow surrounded me.

"You took off the sneakers, didn't you?" Twilight saved me.


"Don't worry, I have a spell to fix this."

"OK... But try not to nearly kill me like the last two times."

Twilight smiled sheepishly, and let me go.

"Alright... Hold still..."

"Maybe agreeing to these spells is a bad idea... Oh well."


I felt a tingling sensation, then I felt power surging through me.

"There. I've given you the ability to walk on clouds."

"Is it permanent?"

"Yeah. It's a much stronger spell then what I used when me and everypony else first went to Cloudsdale."

"No side effects?"


"Thanks Twilight... Can you float me back up to the house?"



I sat on the bench outside of the jewlery store.

"Me and Dashie have done... It... And we are raising a foal now... I think I need to move this relationship one step further..."

I looked at the packet of proposal earrings I had just bought. I was thinking of all the ways this could go wrong...


I shook off the thoughts, and put the earrings back in their case, and in my pocket.

"Oh man... I dunno what to do..."

"I've gotten into so many serious things here in Equestria over the past month and a half..."

"Hey Kyle!" Derpy hovered over to me.

"Oh, hey Derpy. Where's The Doctor?"

"He's waiting back in the TARDIS. I decided to come back home for a little while!"

"Oh. Well, welcome back."

"So, what was with the wedding earrings? Planning something special?"

I blushed a deep red. "Ummm... Well... You see, I... Ummm..."

"I hope you and Rainbow Dash are happy together."

"Thanks, Derpy."

She flew off, teetering to each side from time to time.

"What have I gotten myself into..."

I got up, and decided to wander about for a little while.


I sat in the usual restaurant, sipping a coffee, trying to think.

"Confound my uncertainty, it drives me to insanity."

"Hey, kid."

"Hey, Vinyl."

"So, what's eating at you?"



I lowered my tone to a whisper. "I plan on proposing to Dashie."

Her eyes widened, and she stared at me. "Kid, are you sure about this? I mean, that's a life conviction."

"I'm sure. I love her, and she loves me. Isn't that reason enough?"

Vinyl nodded her head. "Sound sincere to me. Go get her, tiger." She grinned.

"Thanks. I gotta go. Seeya Vinyl."

"Later, 1NS4N1TY."


I stood outside of the door, not wanting to go inside. Just facing Dashie would make me nervous. Vinyl's words rang through my head.

"Go get her, tiger."

I nodded my head, and swallowed. I opened the door, and walked inside. Dashie and Scoots were waiting for me.

"DADDY!" Scoots threw herself at me.

"Ah!" I caught her. "Not today, Scoots. But mommy and I need to talk."

"OK!" She ran off somewhere in the house.

"What is it you wanted to talk about, Kyle?"

"Well... You see... I..."

"Come on, you're usually NEVER this nervous. What is it? Did you do something?"

"No... But there is something I want to do..."

"Oh really now?" She smiled seductively, and took a step closer. Oh for the love of...

"No, not that... Dashie... I..." I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the box. Dashie immediately knew what it was.

"Kyle... You mean..."

"Dashie, I want to spend the rest of my life with you... I love you, and you know that. Dashie..."

I popped the question, and she couldn't hold back the tears of joy.

Chapter 49: Complications

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I was recording a new song, still a little shaken up by what I had done a few hours ago. I still couldn't believe Dashie's answer.

"Yes! Oh yes! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this, Kyle..."

I smiled, and got back to my music. Life was good.


"What the- OOF!" Scoots tackled me, and was jumping up and down on my chest.

"Let's go play Daddy! I wanna go have fun!"

I stood up. "Alright then. Where do you wanna go?"

"To the park! The rest of the Crusaders are there."

"Promise me you won't destroy anything."

"I promise..."

"Good girl. Alright, let's go."


I sat on my favorite park bench, watching Scoots play with her friends. They were practicing tree climbing.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TREE CLIMBERS, YAY!" They all shouted in unison.

"Oh my goddesses... Don't hurt yourself Scoots!"

"I won't, Daddy!"

I sat there for another ten minutes, when Zephyr flew up to me.

"Kyle, you have to help me."

"What is it, dude?"

"I can't think of what to say to Lil' Fire. I have everything planned, but I just can't think of anything to say to her!"

"Fear not, as I am a wonderful romantic. Alright, so what do you plan to do?"

"Well, we will be eating at a fancy restaurant, and I will have the band play a slow, romantic song. Then, I will take out the bracelet I plan on proposing with, and then... I need something to say."

"Just say what's from your heart."

"So sputter out sheer nervousness."

"Hmm... That could be an issue. Alright, we need to think of something to say..."

We sat on the bench, thinking for a minute or two. A generic idea hit me.

"How about, 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you?'"

"Nah, too cheesy..." Zeph was right.

"Hmmm... How about... Ummm... 'I love you, my little pony. Spend eternity with me.' How does that sound?"

"That could work... Lets see what else we can think of."

"Good idea."

Then, Zeph had an idea.

"How about, 'You are the flame of my life, my passion. I want to be with you, forever.' Is that good?"

"Yeah. Lemme just memorize that, that's a keeper. You've got your idea. Go get her, dude."

Zeph nodded, and smiled. He flew off. "Thanks Kyle!"

"No problem, dude!"

I smiled, and leaned my head back.

"OWWWWWWW!" Scoots screamed in pain. I jolted upwards, and sprinted over to the crumpled orange heap on the ground.

"What happened?"

Apple Bloom was the first to answer. "S-She fell outta th' tree... She was on th' fifth branch..."

I scooped her up, gently. I was trying to move her as little as possible. I looked her over, and noticed that her
leg was bent strangely. It was broken.

"What do you propose I do?" Fluttershy's cottage was too far away, and the hospital was as well.

"Can't you do something?" Sweetie Belle looked like she wanted to help.

"Hmmm... I did teach myself how to heal my own bones if I ever broke them. I don't know if it applies to pony bones... But it's worth a shot."

I took off my jacket and my shirt. I put the jacket back on, as it was REALLY cold out. I grabbed a stick off of the ground, and laid it all out next to Scoots.

"OK, now Scoots, this is going to hurt, but I need to shift your bone back together. Try to be strong."


I held both ends of the broken bone, and slowly shifted them back into place. I saw Scoots tear up, but she didn't cry.

I place the stick over the bone, and tied my shirt around it, tightly. That bone wasn't moving at all.

"Alright... Let's get you home, Scoots."

"OK... Thank's, Dad..."

"No problem... Kiddo."



"Dashie, please calm down..."


"It wasn't my fault! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to let her get hurt!" I sat down on the couch, with my head in my hands. I started crying. "I-I'm sorry... I-I c-can't do a-anything right..."

Dashie immediately calmed down when she saw what this whole mess was doing to me. "Hey, don't worry. I'll get Twilight up here, and she can use a spell to fix her leg."

I managed to calm down too. "Alright... But are you sure Twilight is a good idea? Remember the wings...?"

"She's much better at casting on ponies than she is you."

"Makes sense. Alright, let's get her up here tomorrow. Hopefully she can fix Scoots' leg before Hearth Warming."

"Oh, and how goes it with the wedding arrangements?"

"I've got our location reserved, and I have Pinkie getting everything ready. It will all be done in about a week. No peeking..."

"Hmph. Alright."

Dashie walked away, and I leaned back, and sighed.

"The things I do for love..."

Chapter 50: Recurring Villain

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AUTHORS NOTE: Yay! Chapter 50! Thank god I have such an active imagination... And don't forget to read 'Far From The Tree' by Buckshot. Amazing story. ALLONS-Y!

"YEAH! OWNED!" I was doing something I hadn't done in a long time: Playing a video game. I had my laptop on my lap, and I was frantically pressing keys, playing quite the fast-paced game.

"Kyle? What are you doing?"

"Playing a game, Dashie. OH CRAP DON'T YOU DARE!" A loud explosion sound effect came from my laptop. "HA!"

"O...Kay then... Well, Scoots is healing up really well. She should be fine before Hearth Warming."

"Oh, thank the Goddesse- OH NO YOU FREAKING DON'T! EAT IT!" Another explosion sound effect. "Thank the Goddesses for that."

I stopped playing the game, and closed my laptop. I'd had enough screaming at a computer screen for one day.

I heard a knock at the door. When I answered it, I couldn't believe who it was.

"YOU." I said through clenched teeth. It was the pegasus from the coffee shop. What could he want?

"Yeah, it's me. I want a rematch. Right here, right now. That way Rainbow CRASH can see just how much of a loser you are."

"You wanna freakin' DIE? Then bring it." I bent my knees and brought my fists up to my face. NOPONY calls Dashie that, or me a loser.

"What about that brat of a kid you're raising?" He smirked as he said that, noticing Scoots limping by, a splint on her leg. "Awww... Did the little orange brat have an accident? You're a horrible dad."

"THAT'S IT! I'LL RIP YOUR EMPTY HEAD OFF!" I lunged at him, and knocked him to the ground. I started wailing on him, throwing punch after punch. I bloodied his nose, I knocked out another tooth, I gave him a black eye. I kept going. I wanted blood.

"Gonna talk about my family like that?"


"Gonna talk about Dashie like that?"






"Please... Stop..."

"I won't stop until every last drop of your blood is soaked into this cloud." That's a problem I have. I tend to get homicidal when I get angry enough.

"Kyle! Get off of him!" Dashie was staring in horror from the doorway. The anger slowly faded, and I stepped off of the poor pegasus... Who didn't get up.


I kicked him gently. Nothing.

"Oh no..."

Dashie and Scoots just stared at me in horror...

"Ohhhhh..." He groaned, and stood up... Barely.


"Hey! You're alive! Good, I didn't kill you. That'll teach you a lesson. Can you fly?"

"D-Don't think I'm done with you..." He spit out some blood. "I'll be back."

"And I'll have a weapon next time." I smiled evilly.

He scowled, and flew off, teetering side to side.

"Kyle..." Dashie sounded scared.

"Don't worry, I won't kill him... At least I'll try not to. Next time, try to pull me away from him."

"Daddy, who was that guy?"

"Just a ponce who loves to make me angry... And apparently get his rear-end handed to him in the process."

"Kyle! You totally kicked his butt! YEAH!"

"You were just worried about him a few seconds ago, Dashie..."

"That was when I thought you were gonna kill him. Now that I know you won't, that was AWESOME!"

"Anything to stick up for my family."


I walked the streets of Ponyville, my knuckles bandaged. Who knew it could hurt to hurt somepony else?

"Oh no, help!" I heard a shout from a nearby alleyway. I ran in, and saw a large grey earth pony mugging a small red one. They looked over and saw me. They smiled, and approached me.

"Heh, he actually fell for it! What a goodie-goodie two-shoes." The grey one cracked his neck.

"What an idiot..." The red one chuckled menacingly.

"What the..." I turned around, and saw the coffee shop punk, blocking the exit alongside a black unicorn.

"Oh crud..." The unicorns horn glowed, and I felt a shock. I fell over, and my vision blurred. I could barely hear the voices nearby.

"Ha! He actually fell for it! Quick, I know an old house outside of town. Grab him!"

I blacked out.


I woke up, tied to a chair in a small stone room. It was lit up by a single candle.

"Heh, I can't believe how easy it was to catch you."

"I can't believe how easy it was to make you run like a little school filly. What're you gonna do now, punk? Insult me to death?"

He responded with a quick hoof to my jaw. It hurt, but nothing was broken.

"You're gonna have to do better than that, loser!"


I saw the black unicorn walk in. He smiled evilly, and lowered his horn. It began to glow, and I felt a sharp pain. I screamed and jerked around in the chair, but all that got me was a face full of stone floor.

"HA! Look at him squirm! Do it again."


"I just can't wait to see what the boys did to Dashie..."

"WHAT? HOW COULD THEY..." His friend was a unicorn.

"I gave them wings." He said. I knew it. I felt the homicidal anger surface again. I started yanking and pulling, and they just laughed. Eventually, the chair broke. I untied the rope, and grabbed a leg from the chair.

The unicorn's horn began to glow again, and I promptly responded by grabbing it, and snapping it off. He howled in pain, and ran out the door. I grabbed the punk by the neck, squeezing just hard enough so he gasped, but not hard enough to kill him.

"Yeah, don't kill him..." My reasonable side was still somewhat in control.

"W-What're you gonna do?"

"This." I threw him against the wall, and clubbed him over the head.

"DING DING DING! K.O.! I win, bub." I walked out of the door, and up a set of old stairs. I came out in an old abandoned house. I looked out the window, and saw the Everfree Forest to the left, and Ponyville to the right. I walked outside, preparing to fly off.


I landed at Dashie's doorstep, and immediately noticed that the door had been forced open. I went inside, and the place was a mess. I heard a groan from the other room.


I walked in, and saw the two earth ponies with magically obtained wings laying in crumpled heaps on the floor. Dashie was hovering over them, a few marks on her, but nothing too bad. Scoots was comically prancing around, throwing hoof punches at nothing.

"You're OK!" I hugged her tight, she just grinned smugly.

"Of course I am, I'm Rainbow Dash, hero of Ponyville!"

We all laughed.

"Well, I'm glad you two are all right."

"We're glad you're OK, Daddy!"

"Yeah, we were worried about you."

"I'm fine... What're we gonna do about these two?"

Dashie smiled.

"Dashie, what are you planning?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just friends with a few guards is all..."

I love this mare.

Chapter 51: Found Out

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AUTHORS NOTE: Almost Christmas, everyone! I hope y'all are ready for the Hearth Warming chapter! It's gonna rock! And don't forget to hear that teaser I made of the audio book. I bet you'll love it.

I sat in the bakery, Mr. and Mrs. Cake were busy in the back cooking, and I was watching Pinkie to make sure she didn't eat everything they made the second they turned their backs.

"Please? Just one teensie-weensie-eensie little bite?"

"Pinkie, what did the Cakes say?"

"'One little bite leads to a snack,' I know..."

I saw the day's newspaper sitting on a table nearby. I picked it up and started reading from the back to the front, a habit I picked up out of nowhere one day when I was little.

When I got to the front page, my jaw dropped. There was a picture of me... And below it...

"DJ 1NS4N1TY's identity discovered! The human who has made himself comfortable here in our world is also its newest DJ!"

"How did somepony find out? I kept it so quiet, I didn't even put my picture on albums, I never DJ outside of Ponyville... The only thing people know about me is my fashion, and even then, lots of ponies have been buying ponified versions of my hat and jacket..."

I had no idea how anypony could have found me out. Then, I looked out the window of the bakery. There was a crowd of ponies from all around, gathered at the window, staring at me.

"It's DJ 1NS4N1TY! WE LOVE YOU!" They started pounding on the glass, shouting and screaming.

"Oh horseapples. Pinkie, is there a secret way out of here?"

"Yep! You can go upstairs, and in the attic, there's a super-duper secret hatch leading to the roof!"

"Awesome... But why?"

"So we can clean off the roof easily whenever winter comes along!"

"Oh. Well, thanks Pinkie!"

I rushed up the stairs and into the attic, and sure enough, there was a string leading from the ceiling down to a pony's eye level. I yanked it, and a trap door opened, and a ladder slid down. Upon climbing it, I was on the roof. I looked over the edge, and nopony noticed me. They were intently staring into the window, waiting for me to descend the stairs.


I jumped off the other end of the roof into a back alley, hovering with my sneakers to break my fall.

"OK, now I just gotta find a place to hide..."

I said that a bit too loudly. "HE'S BACK HERE!"

I saw the horde convulse on me. I was backed into a corner, and there was no way out... But the dumpster next to me. I hopped up on it, and jumped, grabbing onto the edge of the wall I was backed against.

"Not today, folks! DJ 1NS4N1TY, OUT!" I jumped over to the other side and started sprinting away. I though of AJ's orchard.

"That place is huge. They would never find me out there."


AJ led me out to a very secluded part of the orchard.

"Yer' gonna be just fine here. Nopony's gonna be able to get t' Ya'."

"Thanks, AJ." I heard a twig break. "WHAT WAS THAT!?!?"

"Relax, sugarcube, I just stepped on a twig."

"Sorry, I'm a bit paranoid..."

"Ah' c'n see that. Well, Ya'll just stay here, wait fer' a lil' while. Ah'll be back with somethin' t' eat later."


AJ walked away, and I slumped over on a tree.

"Ugh... Confound these adoring fans, they drive me to seclusion."

I sat there for a good ten minutes, when I heard another twig break.

"AJ? That was quick..."

Then, I heard a few bushes rustle, and some leaves being kicked up, and I heard the snow crunching beneath hooves.

"Oh no..."


"AH!" I scrambled up the tree I was sitting at.

"Come down! We love you!" It was that mare I had saved from the mugger.



"I liked it better when y'all didn't know who I am..."

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY MAN!" I saw a familiar streak of cyan, and before I knew it, Dashie was standing in front of the tree, protecting me.

"And what're YOU gonna do about it?"

Dashie smiled, and flew up into the air, and started flying in circles, faster, and faster, and faster, until she was just a rainbow colored tornado. She scooped up all of the fans, and spun them about.


"Not until you agree to leave Kyle alone..."

"ALRIGHT! JUST PUT US DOWN! *Mph* I think I'm gonna be sick..."

Dashie slowed to a stop, and eventually, all my crazy fans were standing around... Well, wobbling around.

I climbed down from the tree, and one of the fans approached me.

"Heh... Sorry... We just got a little-"

"Carried away, I know. But fear not, 1NS4N1TY is quite forgiving... Just go home..."

"Right! Hey, everypony! The DJ says to go home!"

They all groaned, but they left. Me and Dashie just stood there, the snow falling on our heads.

"Thanks for saving me, Dashie."

"No problem. I am the hero of Ponyville, after all."

"Yeah, and you're the greatest mare I've ever met."

"Awww... Thanks." I knew how to make her happy by now: Stroke her ego.

We hugged, and decided to go home and get out of the cold.

Thanks to paranoia, I didn't sleep a wink that night.

Chapter 52: Newcomer

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AUTHORS NOTE: Adding another OC to the story. His name may seem familiar from the comments, and from a past chapter... And, lemme give a shout-out to Nathan Traveler, author of Omnius's Travels: Equestria.

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no..." I frantically walked the streets of Cloudsdale. I had forgotten to get Scoots a present for Hearth Warming.

"Oh I am SO DEAD..." I couldn't think of anything.

"THINK, you twit! She's your adopted daughter! You HAVE to know what she wants..."


I walked by a hardware store, and looked through the window. I saw new parts for a scooter.



I ran inside, pulling out my coin purse. The stallion at the counter smiled when he saw who it was.

"Ah, well if it isn't the hero from a month back... Ponies're still talking about what you did, saving the Wonderbolts and all that. What is it you need?"

"Oh, I just wanted the new scooter parts."

"Ah, I see. Well, normally they would be 500 bits, but for you..."

"I couldn't possibly take a discount. Here, 500 bits."

"I was gonna say 250 bits, but sure. You're a kind soul." He grabbed the parts, and put them in a box, which I promptly took.

"Thank you. Happy holidays!"

I left, walking as fast as I could without risk of dropping anything. But, at the WORST of times, guess who showed his face again...

"Ah, well if it isn't the loser." Coffee shop punk...

'Well, hello there, punk..." I looked at his Cutie Mark... Basket balls...

"I think I'll call you 'Hoops.'"

"What the- How did you know my name?"

"Wait, that's actually your name? Wow... So, how close to dying do you want to be today?"

"Oh, I don't think so..." I was then tackled by a brown pegasus with a dumbbell as a Cutie Mark.


We wrestled for a bit, but this pegasus was just too strong for me. But then, a white pegasus with mechanical-looking wings, with red stripes, and a white-with-red-stripes mane and matching tail. His Cutie Mark was a golden sword with an obsidian hilt and red handle. I recognized him as the kind guard from when I was arrested.

I barely knew what was going on. But eventually, I snapped back into full consciousness, and the guard pony helped me up.

"You OK?"

"Yeah... Thanks, Rendan."

"Ah, I see you remember me."

"Yeah, well, I have a good memory."

"So... What are you doing out here this late?"

I pointed to the box. "I bought a gift for my kid, and then those guys jumped me. Where are they anyways?"

"I gave them a good thrashing, and they flew off. The punk didn't look too tough, what happened?"

"It wasn't him who hurt me, it was his friend."

"Ah, the brown one. Well, I hope they don't give you any more trouble."

"They won't. And if they do, I will personally put them six feet under."

We laughed.

"Hey, you know, you could escort me home."

"Sounds good. I'm not even on patrol. I was just wandering when I saw what was going on."

"Well I'm glad you saw."

"Heh... Well, I'm glad I saved you. You can tear that punk a new one later."

"Yeah... His name is Hoops, actually."

"Ah. Well, now I have a name to add to the list."

"Same here."


Dashie, Scoots, Rendan, and I sat at my dinner table, chatting about the holiday season.

"...Well, I plan on getting him an action figure or something..." Rendan was talking about his son.

"Nah, that's lame! We need to make it... 20% cooler!" Just guess who that was.

"Oh Dashie..." I facepalmed.

"OH! I have an idea!" Scoots jumped up on the table. "We should make it a doll of Mommy! Then it would be MUCH cooler!"

"That's a GREAT idea, squirt!"

"My entire family is insane..."

Rendan just laughed at all of this. I couldn't help but chuckle as well.

Rendan leaned in to whisper to me, not wanting to interrupt the ego-stroking going on. "You've got yourself a nice family. A kind wife, and a cute little kid. Be proud."

"Trust me, I am. I know I would NEVER be able to lead a life like this back on Earth. I don't wanna go back now."

"Well, if you can't have this, I wouldn't either."

I began listening to Dashie and Scoots' conversation.

"... And she would have amazing rainbow hair, and have a string that makes her say your catchphrases!"

"Scoots, you're a genius. I'm proud to be your Mom."


"Yep, nice family." Rendan smiled at me.

I stood up, and stretched. "Alrighty then, I think it's about time for bed. Scoots, say goodbye."

"Bye mister!" Scoots waved her front leg frantically.

"Seeya, Rendan." Dashie smiled at him.

"Later. I'll see you all another time."

"Wait, Rendan." I caught him by the shoulder. "How would you like to come to our Hearth Warming party tomorrow? You can bring your son. He can play with Scoots!"

Scoots jumped up. "YAY!"

"Are you sure? I don't wanna intrude..."

"Nonsense. You HAVE to come. I won't take no for an answer."

He grinned. "Well, alright then. I'll see you then."

With that, he left.

I yawned, and I stretched my arms. "So... Ready for bed everypony?"

Scoots ran up to her room. Dashie and I curled up in our bed.

"So, he saved you from Hoops' friend?"

"Yeah. He practically saved my life."

"Hmmmm... I'll have to thank him later." She smiled seductively, her eyes half closed. She scooted in closer...

"What is she- HELLO!"

Another sleepless night.

Chapter 53: Hearth Warming Eve

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I woke up, groggy from the "Events" of last night. I rolled out of bed, and got dressed. It was Hearth Warming Eve, and there was some serious stuff going on that day.

"Hmmm... Morning, Kyle."

"Morning, Dashie. Ready for our big date today?"


"Great... What time is it, anyways?" I looked out the window, and up at the sun. It was in the center of the sky.

"It's about noon... Alright, Dashie. I have some things to do before anything goes on tonight. You just stay here and... Recover."

She didn't even answer, but smiled and rolled back over and fell asleep.

"Alrighty, I have to help Zeph get the restaurant set up, I have to check with Pinkie to see if she has tomorrow's party set up, and I gotta get the date ready..."

As I said before, my plate is full, eh?


I walked into the restaurant, which was all the way in Canterlot. There, I saw Zeph prepping everything.

"Hey, dude."

"Oh, hey Kyle."

"It looks like you're almost done here."

"Yeah. I know I asked you for help, but I sorta jumped the gun a little..."

"Nah, it's OK... Hey, where's Octavia and her band?"

"You see, that's what I need your help with. I can't find her."

"Do what now?"

"Yeah, she's gone. I dunno where to look."

"Well, I have an idea."

"Which is?"

"Let's look at her marefriend's house."


"Yeah. Octavia and Vinyl."

"Huh. Odd couple."

"No kidding. Let's go. Onwards and upwards, Allons-y!"


Me and Zeph arrived at Vinyl's house, which was pretty low-key, considering the fact that she is famous. We knocked a few times, but nopony answered.

"Alright... Let's do this my way." I pulled out a bobby pin, and the screwdriver.

"Kyle... What are you doing?"

"Finding my own way in."

"But that's-"

"Illegal, I know. But oh so fun. Besides, Vinyl wouldn't turn me in."

"Sometimes, I worry about you, Kyle."


I pushed open the door, and was immediately greeted with an angry Vinyl's face.

"What're you doing here, kid? I didn't answer because I don't want anypony bothering me. I'm going through a rough patch with Octavia right now..."

"Well, that would explain why she wasn't there for Zeph, then."

"Yeah. If you wanna talk to her, she's upstairs."

I nodded, and we walked up the stairs. I heard a faint sobbing from a nearby room, and when we went inside, surely enough, Octavia was there, bawling.

"Oh jeez... Hey, Octavia, are you alright?" I approached her.

"N-No... V-Vinyl doesn't r-respect me a-at all..."

"And what makes you say that?"

"She j-just c-constantly p-p-plays that loud, OBNOXIOUS music, a-and I can't g-get any p-peace and quiet..."

"Well, have you tried talking to her about it?"

"N-No... I-I just assumed she w-would undersand..."

"Well, you should talk to her about it! It's what couples are supposed to do, TALK. Just ask her to do it when you aren't home or something."

Octavia wiped the tears out of her eyes, and nodded. She got up, and went downstairs. I heard some chatter, and then she came back up.

"It worked! Thank you..."

"No problem... Now, about Zeph's dinner..."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

I smiled, and we left.

"Dude... How do you do it?" Zeph hadn't said anything until we had left.

"I dunno, I just have that ability to fix problems. And of course, nopony should be fighting on Hearth Warming Eve!"

"Well, thanks for the help man, I appreciate it."

"No problem. I gotta go, there are some things I have to take care of. I'll catch you later."


Next, I went to check on the Hearth Warming Day party me and Pinkie were planning.

"Oi! Pinkie! I'm here!" I shouted as I walked into the bakery. The place was decorated in any free space on the wall or in the air. Balloons, streamers, banners, lights... And even a Chr- Hearth Warming tree.

"Ohhh! I bet you love it! Isn't it super-duper? I put a lot of work into it! ImeanIhadtogooverthereandhangthatandthenrunove-"

"I get it... Calm down, Pinkie. So, is there anything else you need?"

"Well... I could use some help with the cooking! I still have to bake snacks for everypony!"

"Sure. I guess I could help with that."

We walked back into the kitchen, and there were ingredients everywhere.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"


I remembered when I thought Pinkie had cooked all of our friends into cupcakes.

"Ah... Well, what do we need to do? I never baked cupcakes at home..."

"It's easy!"

"Well... Do you wanna explain?"

Then, Pinkie broke out into song.

"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix!

Now just take a little something sweet not sour,

a bit of salt, just a pinch!

Baking these treats is such a cinch,

add a teaspoon of vanilla!

Add a little more and you count to four,

and you never get your FILLA!


So sweet and tasty!


Don't be so hasty!


Cupcakes cupcakes CUPCAKES!"

I just stared at her.

"Ummm... That was... Interesting... I mean..." I shook my head, knowing I should NEVER try to understand ANYTHING Pinkie does. "Lets just get baking."



After an hour, we finally had enough cupcakes finished to feed the entire pony population for months.

"That was... I mean the thing you did with the oven... The flames... And then..." I was staring at Pinkie, who had done SOMETHING to make most of the batches of cupcakes be done in minutes.

"It's my secret!"


"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"I swear."

"Pinkie Pie swear?"

I groaned. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I smacked myself in the eye. "OW."

Pinkie giggled. "OK! You can go now! It's a good thing we got done so quickly, the people reading this now wouldn't want to read about us baking for forever!"

"People reading... What? Oh whatever. Seeya Pinkie!"



I had brought along a few snacks with me to the top of the hill in Sweet Apple Acres, where Dashie told me to go, waiting for her. When I saw her approach, I smiled.

"Hey there. So, what's the plan?"

"Well. You get to sit here, while I do some of my famous stunts! I wanted to show you my best performance. It'll be, 'Dashing.'" Dashie grinned at her pun.

"Huh. Alright then. I'll hang back and let you do your stuff."

Dashie flew around, doing amazing stunts. She did some of her regular stunts, but there were some I had never seen before. She was rolling, spinning, and diving. I sat, stunned.

"I can't believe she's doing all of this, just for me." I felt privileged.

This went on for a good twenty minutes. Then, Dashie landed on a cloud, and floated down next to me. She pulled me on, and away we went.

"Where're we going?" I was hanging onto my hat, and my jacket was fluttering in the wind.

"You'll see."

We stopped at the top of a mountain. Dashie pointed to the sky, and I looked up. A large ribbon-like light stretched through the sky, and the stars gleamed as though they were formed yesterday.

"It's an aurora..."

"Yeah. Twilight told me it would show up tonight, and I know how you love this kind of stuff..."

"It's... I mean I... Thanks, Dashie..." I pulled her in close for a hug. I had heard of auroras when I was on Earth, but I had never seen one.

"No problem, Kyle."

In the silence of the night, the moment seemed perfect. And apparently, we had the same intentions...

We embraced in the moonlit night, the aurora shining bright above us.

It was my first Hearth Warming Eve, and my best.

Chapter 54: Hearth Warming Day

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It was Hearth Warming day at last. My family and I had already opened our presents, and we were all very happy with what we got. Scoots had gotten the new parts for her scooter, which I installed for her. Dashie had gotten a signed picture of The Wonderbolts from me, and I got new mixmaster headphones to replace the old ones Vinyl had given me when I started DJing.

Dashie was just staring at her picture, and Scoots was down in Ponyville, wreaking havoc with her new ride.

"Kyle... You have no idea how much this means to me..."

"Ah, don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're happy with it."

"No, really. I never thought I would have an autograph from even one of The Wonderbolts, let alone ALL of them!" She threw her front legs around me.

"Well, shucks. I'm happy you're so thankful."

"And what about those headphones?"

I had them on, and I had my MP3 Player plugged in. I started a song, and my jaw hit the floor. The clearness, the detail...

"Dashie, have I ever told you that you and Scoots are the best things to ever happen to me?"

She smiled. Then we stood up.

"Alrighty. Dashie, get Scoots. We need to get going. We have a party to get to."


I got my jacket and my hat, and walked outside. It was snowing, and I was still really cold, even with the extra protection.

"Brrr... Well, at least it'll be warm at the bakery..."


When we arrived at the bakery, some ponies were already there. Pinkie was the first to greet us.

"Oh! Hey there! Isn't this just super?

"How much air can you fill in your lungs, girl?"

"I dunno, Dashie!"

"Oh boy... I'm friends with the craziest of ponies..." I facepalmed.

"Well hey there, Kyle."

"Oh, hey Rendan." I saw a small white colt, around Scoots' age. He looked a little timid, but Scoots payed no mind to that.

"Hi there! My name is Scootaloo. Wanna go play?"

"Umm... My name is Forge. Sure..."

"You have a funny name."

"Yeah, I know..."

The kids ran off to play. I stood by Rendan, watching.

"Forge, eh? Why's he got that name?"

"Well, he's really good with making things outta metal."

"Ah, I see. Fitting name."

Then, Zephyr and Spitfire arrived.

"Hey, Kyle!" Zeph ran over to me, a big grin on his face.

I whispered to him. "Did it work?"

He smiled even wider, and pointed to the bracelet on Spits' front hoof.

"Good going dude. You have to tell me about it later." I gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder.

"Zephyr?" Rendan just stared.

Zeph stared back. "Rendan?"

They just walked off to a secluded spot, where no ponies could overhear. I followed them, keeping my distance. I could just barely hear them.

"Zephyr... I thought you were dead."

"I'm not, but the others are."


"You left us, Rendan. All of our friends in that group are dead. Those bandits came out of nowhere, and you just ran. I managed to take them out, but the others... They weren't as lucky. I watched them fall, one by one."

Rendan just stared. My eyes widened.

"No way..."

"But I..."

"Save it, Rendan. You left us for dead."

"I had a pregnant wife at home, Zephyr."

"I understand. I don't respect you any less for what you did, but it still lays the fact that you left us."

"Well... Alright then..."

They separated. Zeph noticed me, and approached me immediately.

"I know you were listening. You better not tell anypony."

"I swear." For extra reassurance... "I even Pinkie Pie swear. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."



Zeph chuckled, and walked away. I went and mingled with the guests for a while, still thinking about what I had heard.

"He was left for dead by one if his best friends... That must have been hard on him..."

The party was beginning to calm down, and a few ponies had left.

"This is a great party, dare I say so."

"Hey, Rarity."

"Darling, I just wanted to thank you for all of the good you've brought about in your wake. I used to think you would be trouble, what with your atrocious style, (but now it is the must-have fashion statement!) but I know now that you can do nothing but good, no matter what."

"Wow, Rarity. That's pretty heavy coming from you. Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Oh no darling, it is I who is thanking you." She smiled warmly, and walked away.

"Am I really that important around here?"


A few hours went by, and I had a few conversations here and there, but nothing too important. (I also gave Pinkie a stern talking to about defying gravity and breaking the fourth AND fifth wall.) After the party had ended and the guests gone home, Zeph approached me again.

"So, wanna hear about that proposal?"

"Of course. But let me just say that I'm very happy for you... Hey, where's Spits at anyways?"

"Oh, she went home, she was tired after a while."

"Ah, I can understand that. Being famous and being in a room full of normal, everyday ponies isn't exactly the most relaxing thing in the world."

"Yeah... But wait 'till you hear this. You're gonna be amazed."

"Well stop flapping your gums and tell me!"

Zeph sat down on the sofa with me.

"Alright, so..."



FLASHBACK: Hearth Warming Eve

I sat in the restaurant with Lil' Fire, eating the expensive dinner I had ordered. We hadn't talked much, just stared at each other. There was only one thought running through my mind.

"Does she know?"

I was having second thoughts, mainly just due to the nervousness.

"So... Do you have anything to say, Zephy?"

"Well... I... I mean..."

"Aww... What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing! I just..."

"If there's something you need to say, then just say it."

Then, I managed to bury the nervousness under a mountain of courage. I stood up, and walked next to Lil' Fire.

"Spitfire, you are the flame of my life, my passion. I want to be with you, forever." I pulled out the bracelet.

Her eyes widened, and she looked at the box, then back to me.

"Zeph, I... You... Yes."




I just stared.

"So... Whaddya think?"

"I mean... You just... And she... I can't even BEGIN to say how AWESOME that is..."

He smiled. "Well, Kyle... If it weren't for you, I would never have met Lil' Fire, I never would have dated her... I never would have been married."

"I caused all of that?"

"Yeah, and I could never be more thankful."

He gave me a friendly smile, which I returned.

Rarity was right.

Chapter 55: The Doctor Is In

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It had been three days since Hearth Warming, and everything was going wonderfully. Zeph and Spits were happy, as were Dashie and I. I was sitting at home with Dashie. Scoots was "Crusading." Oh boy...

I yawned, and had nothing to do. I decided to go out, and see if anypony wanted to hang out. As soon as I walked outside, Zeph was standing on my porch, grinning widely.

"Kyle, I hope you don't have any plans for today..."


"Come with me."


"I'm coming too!" Dashie jumped up and raced out the door with us.

We flew off, and I had no idea what was coming...


We landed in an open field, The Doctor standing there, obviously waiting for us.

"Ah, hello there Kyle, Zephyr!"

"Hello, Doctor... What's going on here?" I was acting casual. I was actually really confused.

"Ah, I'm still waiting for Derpy and Rose."

"Rose?" Me and Zephyr asked in unison.

"A girl I met a while back in London. She was being attacked by mannequins."

"Ah." I was still kinda confused.

And then, Derpy and an earth pony with cream skin, a pale red and pink mane, pale green eyes, and a rose for a Cutie Mark showed up.

"Ah! There you two are! Rose, meet Kyle and Zephyr." The Doctor had a big grin on his face.

"How is he still a human?" She had a British accent, much like The Doctor. I assumed she was from London.

"He fell through a tear in space and time, and it allows him to maintain his human form."

"Oh. Well, my name's Rose, but I bet The Doctor already told you that."

"Yeah, he did. So, as he said, I'm Kyle..."

"And I'm Zephyr."

"Fantastic! Now that introductions are over, lets get into the TARDIS. Shall we?" The Doctor made a joking formal gesture towards the door, and we all stepped inside.

"OK Kyle, we know a way to get you home..."

"Wait, WHAT!?!? I don't wanna go back!"

"Kyle... You're being here is tearing space and time apart. You could stay, but that would bring about the destruction of Equestria. Now, you don't want that, do you?"

I swallowed audibly. "No... Alright then. Lets go."

"Fantastic! So... Rose, press that button. Derpy, pull that lever. Kyle, turn that knob. Zephyr, yank that bolt."

We all did as we were told. Then, The Doctor did something unexpected.

"ALLONS-Y!" He yanked another lever and the TARDIS began to teleport.

"YOU STOLE MY LINE!" I yelled at him.


When the TARDIS had stopped moving, we all stepped outside. We were on Earth... But everyone except me was still a pony.

"Doctor, what happened?"

"I dunno. We're still ponies... And we're in..."

"My hometown..." I looked around. Everything looked the same... But there were fliers everywhere. I tore one down and read it.

"Missing person: Kyle Bucy."



"Well... It looks like one year..." The Doctor told me as we walked back out of the TARDIS.

"Oh boy..."

"So... What now Doctor?" Derpy flew up in the air to look around.

We started getting funny looks from people nearby. Seeing as to how I was a boy who had been missing for a year and had talking ponies with him, that was to be expected.

"Um... Let's just get to my house..."

"Good idea. ALLONS-Y!"

"Stop stealing my CATCHPHRASE!"


By the time we had arrived at my house, The Doctor had decided to stay behind and bring the TARDIS along with him. When I walked in the door, the first thing I felt was my Mom's embrace.

"Kyle... I thought I would never see you again..."

"Yeah, I know... Mom, could you let go?"

She got off of me, and looked at the ponies behind me. "What on EARTH are those things?"

"OK, so they're ponies from... Well I mean they... And I mean I... I don't even know where to go with this, oh my Goddesses..."

"Goddesses?" Mom just stared at me.

"Alright, you might want to sit down. I had best explain everything to you...


All I felt was wind..."


I told my mother everything that had happened up to that point. Zephyr, Derpy, Rose, and The Doctor were in the TARDIS, which had arrived a few moments ago, and Dashie was sitting next to me.

"So wait... You and her..." My Mom pointed back and forth between me and Dashie.

"Yeah." I nodded, blushing.

"And now you're raising..."

"Yeah." Dashie chimed in.

"Well... Son, get out."

"WHAT?" We all shouted.

"I don't want a freak for a son, and I don't want a pony granddaughter. Get out of my house, sicko."

"Mom, you can't do that."

"Who says I can't?"

"I do." The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS.

"Why can't he leave? He isn't right! He should be the way I want him to be!"

"Ma'am, as much as I want to sonic some sense into you, I won't. Now, the reason he can't leave is because the TARDIS needs some new parts. The inter-dimensional travel really did a toll on it. I need some new silicon based parts..."

"Silicon? Well, I know a guy who owns a bunch of old computers."

"Very good Kyle! The silicon in the chips should work!"

I looked at my Mom, who was smiling. She was glad to be rid of her imperfect son. So I did what I had been waiting sixteen years to do.


Me and my entourage walked out of the door, my mother still sitting there with a red mark on her face in the shape of my hand.

Chapter 56: Oh, This Is Just GREAT

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On the way to my friend's house, Dashie began to question my choice.

"Kyle, are you sure you should have slapped her? I mean, I know that what she said was not cool, but she is your Mom..."

"Dashie, you have no idea. Ever since I was little, she has told me and implied that I was a mistake, and that she never wanted me. Everything I did was labeled as wrong or stupid, and I was reprimanded for it. I couldn't do anything right, and I was always the bad kid. My little brother constantly bothered me and screwed everything up, yet he was showered with praise and babied to the fullest extent. When she said that about you guys, I snapped... Whenever I ended up in Equestria, I wanted to go home, but I soon realized that I could carve out a new life. A good life. But I guess not... I'll stay here, if it means Equestria not being torn apart through space and time."

We all fell silent. Not even The Doctor said anything.

"Well... In that case... Way to go!" Dashie jumped up for emphasis.

"Yeah. She deserved it, Kyle." Zephyr gave me a friendly smile.

"I can say one thing: She is NEVER getting any muffins from me."

"Oh, here we are." I stopped walking and turned to face an older house. The windows were cracked a bit, and the wood was splintering on most spots.

"Just like always."

We walked up to the door, and I knocked.

"Who is it?" A muffled voice yelled from behind the door.

"It's me, dude. I'm here for some spare parts."

"Kyle? Jeez, dude, we thought you were dead!"

I heard a bunch of locks being un-done. I turned to all my pony friends.

"OK, now just don't say anything... This guy is pretty nuts, so he won't be freaked out unless you talk."

Then, the door opened. A very large man in his mid thirties stood there, smiling. He wore a dirty T-shirt, some , a pair of socks, and his glasses.

"Hey, Don."

"So, you need some parts? And what's with the horses?"

"Yeah, I need some. And don't mind them. It's just something I'm doing."

"Another one of your hare-brained schemes, eh? Alrighty then, come on in."

The Doctor whispered behind me. "Hare-brained schemes?"

I whispered back. "I used to do a lot of weird stuff in my spare time, don't ask."

"So... What are you looking for today?"

"I was hoping you could give me some of your old computer towers."

"Need any screens or mice?"

"Nope. Just the towers."

"Alright, gimme a sec..." He walked into the back room. I heard some shuffling, a loud crash, and then yelling. He came back with a box of old computer towers.

"Here you go man. Just make sure you don't end up doing what you did last time. That dude is still locked in his house out of fear."

"Are the chickens gone?"


Everypony just stared at me.

"Umm... Well, thanks Don, it was nice seeing you again!"

"As were you. Later. I gotta get back to my 'business...'"

"You're playing Runescape again, aren't you?"


"Well, don't forget to eat again. Seeya Don!"

With that, I walked out the door, carrying the box of old computers. Dashie trotted up next to me.


I smiled, remembering what I had done. "Yeah... Man, I remember that. There was grease everywhere..."

The Doctor just stared at me. "What on EARTH were you doing?"

"You don't wanna know."


By the time we had managed to get halfway to the TARDIS, we had a large group following us. I heard a few whispers of "Horse breeding" and "Experiments," but I couldn't hear all of the conversations.

"Ummm... Kyle? We have a problem..." Zeph was looking around at the crowd.

"Yeah, I know..."

"I have an idea, but use the time I give you!"

"Zeph, don't do anything stupid..."

He trotted over to the crowd, and then...

"Pony rides for everyp- Everyone!"

Then, almost everyone in the crowd gasped. But the kids who were there started laughing and running over to Zeph.

"Ummm... That wasn't such a good idea..." I just stared.

"Well... It is a distraction... Fantastic! Alright, lets get back to the TARDIS." The Doctor turned around and began walking again.

We kept on walking, Zeph being bombarded with children.


"So... You're going to take Dashie and everypony else back to Equestria?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, but you're not coming back with us. You can't."

"I know... It's just... I have my family..."

"Yeah! You can't just take him away from me and Scoots!" Dashie gave The Doctor a piercing stare.

"Well, would you rather your world be torn apart?"

We all fell silent after that.

I felt a firm tap on my shoulder.

"Hm?" I turned around, and saw a large man in a black suit with sunglasses and an earpiece. Just take a guess at who it could be...

"Oh no..."

"Young man, you and your 'ponies' are coming with me."

"Doctor... Diagnosis?" I looked at him, hoping he could do something.

"Hmm... Well... Hello sir... I'm The Doctor."

The man took a step back. "So they do talk..." He put a finger on his earpiece. "Yeah, I've got them right here... Yes sir."

"Well, we aren't going with you, mister." Derpy gave him an angry look... At least I think so.

"I'm sorry, you don't have a choice."

Then, I saw a few vans pull up, and men jumped out, grabbing all of my friends and dragging them back inside. I looked back at the man, who promptly punched me in the face. I fell right to the ground.

Why can't anything just go according to plan?

Chapter 57: Traveler?

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Crossover with Nathan Traveler's "Omnius's Travels: Equestria"

AUTHORS NOTE: So... I read this series of stories, called Kidnapped. Here, have some links. READ IT.

Kidnapped 2

"Ohhhh... Me head..." I woke up, immediately feeling the after effects of being knocked out in one hit.

"Ah, you're awake!"

"Huh?" I looked over and saw a pony. He was wearing a blue jacket, glasses, and had a goatee-like growth on his face. He reminded me of Gordon Freeman.

"So... How the heck did you get into Equestria?"

"Wait wait wait... Before you start asking ME questions, lemme ask you one: Who are you?"

"Well, everyone calls me Nathan Traveler, but I prefer to go by Omnius. Charmed, I'm sure."

"Freakin' ECSTATIC. Now... How do we get out of here?"

"Well, I have an idea."

"And what would that be?"

He closed his eyes, falling into deep concentration. Then, he became taller, more muscular, his coat was a rust red color, he had armor on his back and legs, his eyes were glowing in a sunset-like color, and I could tell that his temper had flared. He walked over to the cell door, and started throwing rapid bucks at it, all the while shouting "AKAKAKAKA" like Kenshiro. If you don't know who that is, then I feel sorry for you.

The cell door was bent every which way, and fell right over. Omnius' muscles deflated, and he leaned on the wall.

"Wow... That really took it out of me."

"Well, get up. We've got some other ponies to save." I grabbed a piece of metal that had flown off the door in Omnius' blind rage.

"So... What is your name, then?"


"Ah. Well, what's your plan?"

"Beat the crap out of anyone we see, and just walk around until we find my friends."

"... You're just making this up as you go along, aren't you?"

I did my best Big Mac impression. "Eeyup."

"Wow, you sounded a lot like Big Mac there."

"You know him?"

"Yeah, I've been in Equestria for a while now."

"Huh. Amazing that I never saw you around."

"I've been in another world for a bit now..."


A big, husky man in a black suit ran up to us.

"OK, I don't know how you two got out, but you're going right back in."

I promply responded by kicking him right in the "sensitive area" of a man. Y'all know what I'm talking about.

He fell over, groaning.

"Do you always hurt people out of nowhere?"

"Well, lets see... I'm a slightly unstable sixteen year old boy, with a long history of dangerous schemes and violence. What do you think?"

"Oh... Kyle, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship!"

The man started to get up.

"Hey, Omnius... Give him a quick kick."

"Sure." He reared back, and then kicked the man square in the side of the head. "HOOF TO THE HEAD!"

"Very original..."

"Shut up..."

"Let's keep walking... Hey, a storage room." I walked inside, and saw a few empty cardboard boxes. Me and Omnius looked at each other, smiling. We were thinking the same thing.


We were both under cardboard boxes, and trying not to laugh.

"You know, if this actually works, I'm gonna laugh."

"Kyle... OK, I can't even argue. I will too."

"Oh! Shhh... Someones coming..."

We huddled into a corner, and stopped moving.

"Hm?" A guard walked over, and looked at Omnius' box, then to mine. "I'd better tell those janitors to get off their lazy butts and do some work for once..."

He walked away. We stood up, removing the boxes to get some fresh air.

"That actually worked, didn't it?" We were both trying to stifle a laugh.

"Yes, yes it did. And this is why I'm glad I ended up falling into Equestria one day. Our world is full of idiots..."

"Yeah, well, with how many worlds I've been to, you see some pretty stupid things, but that takes the cake."

"Wait, you've been to different worlds?" I looked at him, confused.

"Yeah. How did you get back here from Equestria anyways?"

"I came with The Doctor."

"You're kidding..." He stared at me in disbelief.

"What, you know him?"

"Know him? We're like best buds, he and I! Well, the human one at least..."

"Huh... Alrighty then, let's keep moving... Hey, how come you are still a pony? Wouldn't you do the same thing The Doctor did? Well... Until now... The TARDIS got all messed up, so everypony is still just that: A pony."

"Huh. Well, this guy named Torrentican got me with Poison Joke..."

"You don't need to explain any further. I know how THAT stuff feels..." I shuddered.

"Ugh... Well, let's keep moving, shall we?"

"Good idea. Allons-y!"


We had been wandering for the good part of ten minutes. Omnius decided to strike up conversation again.

"So... You and Dashie?"

"Yeah? What about us?"

"You tapped that flank?"

"You wanna die?" I stared at him, some anger starting to build up. I do NOT need this right now...

"Well, I can't die, but don't hit me. You see, I heard about it, but I thought you were a pony..."

"So what, are you grossed out or something?"

"No, of course not. As long as you two are happy, you have the Traveler Seal Of Approval."

"Good. Now I don't have to beat you senseless, and then some."

"You really are a violent person, aren't you?"

"I thought we had already established that."

"Good point... I think we're gonna be good friends, you and I!"

We walked past a room, and I took a brief look in a window. But then I did a double take, and jumped back to said window, staring through. I saw a room, with all of my friends chained down. A few scientists were wheeling in a cart with dissecting tools.

And then the blind rage kicked in. The door's lock was weak. I ran into it a few times, and it broke down. I started grabbing everything in sight, and throwing it at guards and scientists. Computer screens, trays, test tubes, chairs, you name it. After large amounts of property damage and injuries to others, I calmed down. Everyone in the room was out cold, or had run away.

"Erm... You OK?"

I was breathing heavily. "Yes... I feel... Satisfied..."

I grabbed a key off of a guard, and unlocked all of my friends, who were all unconscious. I noticed that only The Doctor, Rose, and Derpy were here... And they were all knocked out.

"Oh for the love of- WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?"

"Hey, I'm just Nathan Traveler, not a psychic."

I walked out into another hallway, and saw a cell at the end. Zephyr and Dashie were there. When I approached, Dashie looked up at me, relieved. But Zeph kept staring at the wall.

"Oh, good. I was wondering when you would get here." Apparently she had expected me to break out. Wow.

"Hey, Dashie... What's with Zeph?"

"He was freaking out, and hit a dude in a white coat. A guard stabbed him with a needle..."

"Tranquilizer..." Me and Omnius spoke at once.

Zeph then tried to get up, and walked into the wall. I smacked him on the side of the head.


He shook his head, and stared at me. Then he just started laughing.

"You have GOT to be kidding me... Omnius, any ideas?"

"Well... You have a piece of metal..."

"I don't wanna hurt him..."

Dashie looked at Zeph, then back to me. "I don't think you have a choice."

Zeph was still laughing and walking into walls. Yeah, no choice.


Zeph fell over. I felt a twinge of regret, but hey, at least he wasn't slamming into walls.

Dashie got him up on her back.

"Are you sure you can carry him?"

"Kyle, have you forgotten who you're talking to?"

I rolled my eyes. We all went back to the experiment room to see if everypony was awake. They were.

Rose approached me, looking at the broken bits of stuff and unconscious people around her. "Did you do all this?"

"Yeah, I did. Why do you ask?"

"Oh... No reason, just checking..."

"Fantastic breakout you two! Hey, who's this one then?"

"You broke a bunch of clocks over my head, how can you not remember me?"

"No... That wasn't me."

"Oh! Wait, that's the PONY you! It's me, Omnius!"

"Oh! Fancy that! It's great to see you again, Omnius!"

"So... How do we get out of here?" Derpy was looking around the room frantically... I think.

"Well, how about we follow the signs that say 'Exit?'" The Doctor pointed to a sign on the wall. Oh.


After leaving the base with surprisingly no trouble, we had gone back to the TARDIS. When I went to step in, The Doctor blocked me.

"Ah-ah-ah, you know what has to happen."

"I'm wanted by the government! What do I do?"

"Well... I dunno... But if Equestria is to stay in one piece, you stay here." Curse you time for being all wibbley wobbly.

I held my head low. Dashie was already inside, expecting me. "Alright... I guess I'll stay... Goodbye, Doctor."

"Goodbye." He stepped inside. The TARDIS began to fluctuate, and disappeared.

I was stuck back on Earth.

But, I had forgotten one thing.

"Hey, you don't wanna miss your wedding with The Dashter, now do you?"

I spun around. Omnius was still with me.

"How did yo-?"

"Dude. You're wearing a ring that matches Dash's earrings. I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid. Now, just hold onto my coat, and hope for the best!"

I grabbed his coat. I closed my eyes, and I felt very strange.

I woke up under a tree, in an open field. Ponyville was a half a mile away.

"Erm... I think I forgot to carry the two..."

"Well, lets get walking..." I stood up.

The Doctor can't keep ME down.

Chapter 58: Setting Things Straight

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Crossover with Nathan Traveler's "Omnius's Travels: Equestria"

As Omnius and I headed back to Ponyville, I remembered something.

"I need to talk to Dashie about getting me into Winter Wrap Up."

He just looked at me.

"Well, from what I know, you can just participate. They do a musical number EVERY YEAR though..."

"Uh-oh... I'm not the best singer in the world..."

Omnius pulled a harmonica out of his coat pocket and waved it in my face. He was going to play it instead of sing.

"I hate you. SO. MUCH."

He just started laughing.

"Omnius... If you keep that up, I'm going to bury you alive." I tried to imitate Nick's voice from Left 4 Dead 2.


"Yeah, that shut you up. Now... Musical number... Meh, I'll make it up as I go along."

"I could help you. I'm good with lyrics."



"OK, so... Before I confront Dashie about not being on the TARDIS, as I know she'll be upset, I say we try to get The Doctor to let me stay. Maybe we can think of a way to fix the rift too..."

"Yeah. I may not know much about all of that wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, but I do know how to mess with it until it works!"

"Omnius, buddy, you scare me. I like that about you."

We arrived at the entrance to Ponyville, but alas, my wife and child were there, waiting for me.

"Kyle... Why weren't you on the TARDIS? I was worried sick about you! NOT. COOL."

"I... Well you see we... I mean I... And then he... The government... It's a LONG STORY. Can I just tell you later?"

"No, I wanna know NOW. I think your own WIFE has a right to know these things."

Curse you Dashie, with your ability to guilt trip me into anything.

"Alright, well-"

Omnius cut me off. "Look, Dasher, I'd love to catch up with you too, but right now, we've got stuff to do. NOW. "

"And who says I won't keep you here until you guys tell me what's going on?"

"What if I said Equestria would disappear in a snap if we don't hurry?"

Dashie's eyes widened, and we walked past her. Scoots just stared at us, confused.

I turned around to look at Dashie, and mouthed the words "I'll tell you later, don't worry."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Omnius, you just saved my LIFE. I know what wives are like about their husbands getting in trouble. I watched those movies..."

"Yeah, don't mention it. Now, where is The Doctor... AH! I remember! This house, right here."

We walked up to the aforementioned house, and walked right in. I saw The Doctor, but he didn't seem to happy.

"Well, if it isn't you... Wait, a human..." He approached me with his Sonic Screwdriver.

"Wait, Doc, it's me!"

"I don't know you, but I do know why you're here... You're trying to destroy this world..."

"No, actually, he's trying to help me save it."

The Doctor... Or, this one at least, just looked at Omnius.

"OK, we need to go see you- Well, your other you... But that doesn't- OH FORGET IT. Come on Kyle, lets go. I forgot, this was the wrong Doctor."

"I can tell..."

We left, and were only walking for another five minutes before confronted by The Doctor, the right one.

"Alright... I know you brought him back here, Omnius, and you need to send him home."

"Why? He didn't do anything."

"Well, his coming here again caused the rift to get even bigger. Now Equestria has even less time. Congratulations, you've killed a world."

Omnius' face lit up with sudden realization.

"Wait, didn't you say that the TARDIS had sustained some damage, Kyle?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"What if that's what caused the rift to grow? The TARDIS could have just jumped through the rift to get back here, due to its damage. So what if that 'slingshot' method strained the rift, and just made it worse?"

The Doctor pondered this for a moment. "So, what do you propose?"

"Duct tape. And lots of it."

I gave him a sharp jab on the shoulder. "This is serious!"

"Ow... OK, how about you give us twenty four hours to fix the rift, and we get to stay. If we can't fix it, he and I leave quietly."

"That sounds fair..."

I looked around, and saw that The Doctor's usual entourage wasn't with him. "Where's Derpy and Rose?"

"I dropped them back at home. Rose wanted to see her Mum, and Derpy wanted to see her daughter."

"Oh. Makes sense. Alright, Omnius, let's get going. We have a rift to fix. ALLONS-Y!"


As Omnius and I pored over books and ideas at Twilight's library, we made some small talk.

"So... Why do you keep stealing The Doctor's catchphrase?"

"Wait, what? You mean allons-y?"

"Yeah. He uses it all the time!"

"Why that dirty son of a- I used that around him once, and he said he was going to use it every once in a while. That Timelord punk is ripping me off..."

"Wow. Didn't see that coming."

"Alright, lets keep thinking..."

I kept flipping through pages, and eventually threw the book across the room in anger.

"Grrrrr... I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!" I slammed my head down on the table. "All of the things I've done... All the relationships I have... My family... I'm going to lose it all..." I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

Omnius just stared at me, bewildered. "You're just going to give up?"

"What's the point... If you or The Doctor don't know how to fix this, how the hay am I going to?"

"Well, you seemed to be able to adjust to any and all situations before, why not now? I mean, Ye Gods, man! You can do anything if you set your mind to it. Now get your head up and keep reading. Come on, we've got worlds to save!"

I wiped my eyes, and nodded. I grabbed another book, and started reading.


After another few hours, we had gone through half of the library. I had already began to develop some serious stress buildup, and my eye was twitching.

"OK. If the next book I flip through doesn't have the answer, I'm just going to wing it and hope for the best."

I started skimming pages. The book was released a couple of months ago, and it was on the history of Equestria.

"Wait..." I saw a familiar picture. It was of Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Dashie, AJ, and Shy all wearing a fancy bit of jewelry.

I read aloud. "Equestria saved from Discord's wrath by six heroic ponies, the wielders of the 'Elements of Harmony,' a force that can overcome any task... And another pony, who goes only by 'Traveler,' has been found to be the bearer of a seventh Element: Hope."



"LIGHTBULB!" I threw my arms up in the air and stood up. Omnius had fallen asleep, and he woke up with a yelp when I screamed that.

"What? Lightbulb? This room is lit by candles..."

"No, Omnius... I have an idea."

"And what might that be?"

"Come on, Hope. We have a posse to gather."

Chapter 59: 'Till Death Do Us Part

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Crossover with Nathan Traveler's "Omnius's Travels: Equestria"

Omnius and I walked the streets with the the rest of The Elements, Twilight, Pinkie, Shy, Dashie, Rarity, and AJ.

"All right. Now, here's what I think. I think that if you all harness the powers of The Elements, you might be able to muster enough strength to break the space-time barriers, and shut the rift. Now, if this doesn't work, everypony dies, and the world implodes. No pressure." I had my hands in my pockets and I was walking really quickly.

"But you said crossing the streams was a bad idea!" Omnius said.

"So... Where do we need to go?" Twilight asked.

I looked at the map I had drawn on, and looked around to match up where I had marked. I pointed to a large mountain with a gaping cave in the side. "There. It's in there."

Everypony but Omnius dropped their jaws.

"There was a d-d-dragon in there once... We got it out though..." Fluttershy shrank and cowered on the ground. D'aww...

"Maybe it's a jewel or something?"

"Possibly. I've heard of that kind of thing before." Omnius shrugged.

"So... Who wants to climb a mountain? We've got a rift to close." I marched on, my posse following suit.

"Well... Ah' reckon we gotta save th' world..." AJ sounded nervous.

"Didn't you all do that already? TWICE?"

They all stared at me, and then smiled. "Yeah, I guess we did." Twilight admitted.

"You all KNOW I've saved worlds before."

"Yes, Omnius, we know. Now, get your plots in gear, we've got a mountain to scale!" I pointed in the air comically, and set off at a near run towards the path leading up to the cave.


We were almost halfway up the mountain after almost two hours. Fluttershy kept getting scared, and she was wasting time. After she was frightened by a bristling bush, I grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her my most intense, piercing stare. Her eyes shrank when I stared into hers.

"Listen... I know you're scared, we all are. But we NEED to do this, or this world is gone. We're doing this to save everypony, so you need to be strong! You can be scared Shy, I'm not saying you can't, but don't let it overwhelm you."

She gulped, but eventually nodded.

"Alright. I'll try to be brave."

I kept walking. Omnius trotted up next to me. "Dude, that was intense."

"I know. I can't stand it when people let fear get the better of them. I've let that happen to me many times, and I regret all of them. When I see Shy get like that, I feel a twang of... I don't know. It's like some sort of 'big brother' instinct, like I need to help her be strong."

Omnius just stared. I kept looking ahead, and I knew I had a determined look on. I then realized why I was here. It wasn't a mistake, it wasn't a coincidence.

I was here to help those in need.

It was like Omnius. Whatever world he gets dumped into, he has to help make things right. Wherever I go, I always try to make things right, no matter the danger to myself. I was in Equestria, but not due to a fluke.

It was fate.

I looked back at all of the ponies following me. They all smiled at me when my gaze met theirs. These were my friends, my family. I had to do what I could to protect them...

Even if it killed me.


After another hour of walking in almost utter silence (Aside from Rarity complaining about how dirty she was getting, which coined her a lecture from me) we made it to the peak. We stood at the entrance to the cave, which looked eerily similar to a mouth.

"Creepy... Well, lets go in then." I began to march forwards. Omnius stopped me.

"Do you even know what the heck we're looking for?"

"Erm..." I thought for a moment, rubbing the area my beard would be, if I had one. "Look for anything that looks... Strange. Like, a really big jewel, don't get any ideas," I shot Rarity a look, "or maybe a glowing spot on the wall, a weird talisman... Stuff like that."

"So almost anything that could be in there?"

"Omnius, shut up. Now then... ONWARDS AND UPWARDS..!"

We then all shouted at once. "ALLONS-Y!"

We marched inside, me being the first, and I saw a concrete-gray pegasus, whos ribs show faintly, he is abnormally tall, with slick black hair, and his wings have flecks of red on them that look like blood.

"Who the hay are you?"

"Ah, Kyle! The little hero of Equestria! Such an HONOR to meet you." His voice was very suave, but I could sense some seriously bad mojo coming off of him.

"Alright, so you know me. Now who are you?"

"People call me Torrentican. The pleasure is all mine."

I remembered what Omnius had said back when we were escaping the base.

"Huh. Well, this guy named Torrentican got me with Poison Joke..."

"You're the reason Omnius is stuck in pony form..."

"Ah! So you know my friend! Quite the goody goody two-shoes he is, eh?"

"Yeah yeah whatever... Have you seen anything here that looks... Powerful?"

He grinned, and stared right at me. His eyes were normal, but his irises were pure black. It was as if he was staring into my very soul.

"Why yes, I did. I'm the one who put it here. This world is just too... Happy. And cute. I loathe happy and cute. So, I must ask you to leave, before you get hurt... Or better yet, by all means! Stay, and you can watch me pluck the feathers off of your little Rainbow colored whore, as she screams in pain, calling out to you." I felt rage pumping through me. “She’ll beg for you to come and save her, but you won’t be able to do a thing but watch. You’ll fail her, and when I’m finished having fun, I’ll move on to the little chicken that is your adopted daughter. Oh, what fun we’ll have together!”


Omnius had just been standing there, listening. He saw me balling up my fists, and getting ready to go mental.

"Kyle, wait!"

Too late. I rushed Torrentican, and threw my hardest punch. He simply sidestepped me, and bucked me right in the back.

"AGH!" I fell over. I rolled over to lay on my back, and looked up at the crazy pony. His Cutie Mark was of... The Reaper?"

"Why is your Cutie Mark... That?"

"It's what you think the embodiment of evil and fear is. Death. You know what's going to happen."

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Omnius finally lunged at Torrentican.

They rolled around, hitting, kicking, and biting each other, until Omnius jumped off.

"Hey... Why didn't you do that before?" I just stared at him.

"I always let the villain finish his monologue before I kick some butt. It lures them into a false sense of security, you know?"

"Ah. Makes sense."

Torrentican lunged at Omnius, and the fight continued.

Omnius glanced at me, and yelled. "Go! I’ve got the clichéd one handled!"

I led The Elements around and we proceeded deeper into the cave, the last thing I heard from them was Torrentican yelling "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?"

After only a few minutes, we found it.

It was a large, blue, crystal-like thing. It was glowing, and the air around it seemed to fluctuate. I could see faint images of millions of different dimensions and universes.

"Wow... This is... COOL!" Dashie looked around, seeing all of these images.

Pinkie was just laughing.

"Pinkie, what are you doing?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Giggling at the ghosties!"


"All right. Everypony, get ready!" Twilight stood in front of the crystal, and they all gathered around her. I stood by and watched.

The symbols on the necklaces they were wearing began to pulsate, and then a bright light flashed. Twilight's eyes became pure white, and began to glow. They all floated into the air. Another flash of light.


They all fell to the ground. Nothing happened at first.

"Did we do it?" Rarity stared at the gem.

"Ah' reckon so..."

Then, the entire cave began to shake. Omnius ran up to me.

"What happened!?!?"

"We did it..." The stalactites began to fall from the ceiling. "EVERYPONY OUT! NOW!"

They all ran, but Omnius and Dashie stayed.

"Wait, what're you gonna do?" Dashie looked at me, worried.

"I'm going to make sure this thing STAYS broken."

"I'm going to stay in case anything goes wrong and this thing doesn't even break in the first place." Omnius looked back at the crystal.

Dashie lingered, not wanting to leave. I felt the worry radiating off of her, and Omnius apparently did as well.

“Don’t worry Dash,” Omnius said, a grin breaking across his face. “I’ll make sure he makes it out of here.” She nodded, and left with the others.

I walked up to the crystal, which now had a few cracks in it. I threw a punch, and it shattered. A large blast of energy threw me backwards, and I landed on my back. Omnius was knocked over. I saw a stalactite falling right at me.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest, and my breaths became short and strained. I looked down, and saw that I had been impaled. I knew not to remove it, or I would bleed out. I felt my heart beating faster and faster, and darkness began to creep up into my vision, which had a wash of red over it.

I heard "KYLE!" As Omnius rushed to my side, knowing it was too late for me. I went limp, and the darkness took over...

And then, the last thing I heard was the anguished cries of my Dashie.

"What have I done?"


I woke up in a familiar setting. Stars everywhere, even the ground I walked on.


"Hello, Kyle. It has been a long time since we last spoke."

"But wait... I thought I was dead..."

"You are."

I looked at my hands. They were white.

"Oh no..."

"I am afraid it is true." Luna levitated a slab of glass in front of me. I saw a large hole where the stalactite was, and my skin was pale. My eyes had a blank look in them.

"But... I'm here..."

"Well... We alicorns have a special power..."

"Are you saying..."

"Yes. We can give the gift of life."

"But... Doesn't it always have a cost?"

"Yes... I will give up one hundred years of my past, in exchange for your survival of the accident."

"Luna... I can't let you do that. I'm not as important to these ponies as you are, and doing that could make you forget so many important things..."

"What about Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo? What about all of your friends? Your fans?"

I hung my head in guilt. She was right. I was important. It was selfish of me to think otherwise.

"All right... If you're sure... Go ahead." I closed my eyes, half expecting it to hurt.

Her horn began to glow, and she touched my forehead. I saw a white flash, and my ears were ringing.

My vision was black, but I could just make out voices...

The first I heard was that of a yellow pegasus.

"...Wait, I feel a pulse!"

Chapter 60: The Parting Of Ways

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Crossover with Nathan Traveler's "Omnius's Travels: Equestria"

Silence. Everypony had stopped talking. I couldn't open my eyes, they felt so heavy, as if I hadn't slept for days. I just wanted to sleep. But then, the lack of oxygen in my body made me spring upwards. I was gasping and coughing, and patting myself all over my torso, unable to believe that I was alive.

After I managed to stop gasping for air and checking for unwanted holes in my body, I looked at everypony. They just stared at me, disbelief in their eyes.

"Can't get rid of me that easily." I grinned. The first to speak was Dashie, who threw herself at me, sobbing furiously.

"I-I-I t-thought y-y-you w-were d-dead... I-I couldn't b-bear t-t-to t-tell Scoots..."

"Calm down... I know..." I stroked the back of her mane. I eventually began to feel tears coming on.

"I... I w-would never l-leave you, Dashie..."

Then I lost it. I just cried and cried. I hadn't cried in six years until that point. I wasn't crying over the fact that I had almost been taken away from Dashie: I was crying over the fact that Dashie had almost lost me. I didn't care that I almost died, I cared about Dashie losing me, losing her world.

Everypony just stared at us, the two lovers crying in each others arms, but I didn't care what they were thinking, I only cared that Dashie had me back. That Scoots had me back.

After a few minutes, I wiped my eyes, and then remembered the one who caused this entire mess.

"Torrentican... Where is he!?!? I'm gonna kill him in the most painful ways I know how..." I started contemplating building a torture device. NO-ONE messes with my family like he did, and lives to tell about it.

Omnius approached me. "There's no time to worry about that now, you need to rest. You did just survive being IMPALED."

But then, my jaw almost hit the floor.

Omnius was a human.

"Erm... When did THIS happen?"

"While you were 'dead.'"

"Ah..." I looked him over. He still looked like his pony self, Gordon Freeman goatee and glasses, messy hair... I looked over on a chair nearby, and saw his jacket, covered in my blood, hanging there. He must have used it to hold my innards inside of me. I shook off the horrid thought, and got back to the task at hand.

"We need to find Torrentican NOW. Who knows what he could be up to? He might have another one of those crystal things somewhere!" I tried to stand up, and felt a searing pain in my chest.

"ACK!" I fell back down onto the sofa.

"See what I mean?" He just looked at me.

I stood up again, and ignored the pain, even though it felt like someone was driving a red hot dagger straight through my heart, and twisting it around.

"Alright... Ugh... Let's get searching..." I slowly walked towards the door, stumbling slightly with each step, and the pain getting worse as I went.

"Umm... I really think you should wait." Fluttershy was still barely audible.

"No, really, I'm fine."

Then, she flew in front of the door.

"No, you're not. You're going to wait here, and rest."

We all looked at her, surprised by her sudden bravery. I remembered the lecture I gave her, and chuckled.

"All right, I'll rest... But can I at least go home and see my own daughter?"

Fluttershy blinked, and then sheepishly smiled, and stepped out of the way. Then, I heard the door slam open downstairs.

"WHERE IS HE?" Zeph was here. I heard him come up the stairs, and then he rounded the corner, and saw me.

"Where is that pony with the glasses?"

"Nice to see you too, dude. He's in here. Why do you want to see him so bad?"

Then, I remembered that it was Omnius who suggested I knock Zeph out cold so we could bring him home.

"Ummm... Omnius? You may want to run..."

"Why?" He looked at Zeph, and then a look of realization popped into his eyes.

"Um... Hey there buddy... LOOK, A THREE HEADED MONKEY!" Zeph turned his head for a second to look, and Omnius dashed out the door. Zeph followed suit.

"Erm... They gonna be OK? Ah' reckon they'll be all over Ponyville."

"Well, I don't reckon, I KNOW that's what'll happen. I just hope Zeph doesn't catch up to him."

"Why so?" Twilight looked at me, her head tilted, eyebrow raised.

"Zeph is like me... If you hurt him or someone he cares about, he tends to get... How should I put this... Homicidal."

"But Omnius can't die..." Twilight still looked confused.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he can't feel pain..."

We all sighed.

"So... What now?" I looked around, confused at what to do.

"Ah' reckon we should help Omnius. Seems like that's all there is t' do."

I nodded, and we all walked out the door. I was still in pain, but rest could wait.

I had to make sure Zeph didn't do something he'd regret.


After about five minutes of searching, we found Zeph running around a tree, chasing nothing. I could hear a familiar theme song playing in my head. I look over at a nearby building, and saw Omnius leaning on a wall, panting.

"Omnius, how the-"

"Benny Hill tactic. Works every time..."

I laughed. "Omnius, you are a GENIUS."

Then, the girls walked over with a sheepish looking Zephyr.

"Ah' reckon this'n here has somethin' t' say."

"Yes, that was most rude of you, Darling."

Zeph looked at AJ, then Rarity, and then to Omnius.

"Erm... I'm sorry I chased you around like that."

"Oh, it's no problem. I've been chased by MUCH worse." He shuddered. I didn't even wanna KNOW what he was thinking about.

"Well... I'm going back to the library. That's enough hero work for now." Twilight gave me a nod, and walked away.

"I need to get home and tend to the animals..." Fluttershy flew off slowly.

"So... Omnius... It was nice meeting you." I extended my hand.

"Nice meeting you too. Good luck with Rainbow Dash." He shook my hand.

"And hey, you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask." He walked off.

I put my hands in my pockets, and just stood there.

"Sheesh, I meet the most colorful of characters..."

Chapter 61: Winter Wrap Up

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After a whole days rest, and some emotional conversations with my friends and family, everything was finally back to normal. I hadn't seen hide nor hair of Omnius or Torrentican, but I knew one thing: I was going to hunt Torrentican down, and make him sorry the only way I know how. By very gruesome acts of violence.

"... And then we bring back the southern birds... Are you even listening?"

I snapped out of my deep thought, and shook my head to recover. "Erm... Sorry, I was thinking, and lost track of what you were saying..."

She giggled, and gave me a warm smile. "It's alright. It wasn't important. All you need to know about Winter Wrap Up is it's a lot of fun, and I know you'll love the singing."

I had completely forgotten about that. A look of worry shot across my face, and Dashie immediately picked up on it. She nuzzled my cheek and leaned on my side. "You'll do fine, love."

I sighed, and decided to worry about that obstacle when it presented itself.

I looked out the window, and saw Scoots running around outside. It still felt strange living in a cloud home, but I had somewhat adjusted. I let out a stressed sigh. Dashie gave me a seductive look.

"You know Kyle, if Winter Wrap Up stresses you out too much, I can help you relax when we get home with a nice massage..."



Me and Dashie eventually took Scoots down to ground level to play with the rest of the Crusaders (After hearing about their recent plan, I warned them that gasoline and matches were not a good mixture) and headed off to start helping with the clean up.

"So... What am I going to have to do?" I asked.

"Well... You can help me and the rest of the pegasi with all the sky stuff, you can help with the animals, you can break the ice off of the water..."

"Wow. Lots of stuff to do."

"Yeah, I know. So, what do you want to do?"

"Well, it seems only right that I help you lot out, so I'll be with the pegasi."

Then, Twilight approached us, and she was wearing a multicolored vest.

"Oh, hello there you two! So, I assume you are both on the sky team?"

"Yep. So, the vests show who's doing what, right?" I looked around, seeing all sorts of ponies in different vests.

"Exactly. Here's yours, Rainbow Dash. And here you go Kyle."

I took off my jacket for a moment, throwing it on the ground. I saw the patch on the back of it where Rarity had fixed it after I was impaled. I cringed at the memory, and looked away. After putting on the vest, I slid the jacket back on, and adjusted my hat.

"Alright... So, what happens n-"

I heard somepony blow on a harmonica, to start the musical number.

"Omnius, I'm going to hurt you... SO BADLY."

I quickly tried to remember the lyrics Omnius had jotted down and had me memorize, and they slowly came back to me. Then, the music really started.

Three months of winter coolness, and awesome holidays~

We've kept our hoovesies warm at home, time off from work to play~

But the food we've stored is running out, and we can't grow in this cold

And even though I love my boots, this fashion's getting old~

Now it's time to welcome spring,
and all things fresh and green,
But it's also time to say goodbye,
It's winter we must clean

What do I do? I'm a man you see,
What do all the ponies do?
How can I fit in like this?
There's just too much to do!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here,
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

Bringing home the southern birds,
A pegasus' job begins
And clearing all the gloomy skies
And let the sun shine in!
We move the clouds and we melt the white snow;
When the sun comes up, it's warmth and beauty will glow!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here
Winter Wrap-Up Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

Little critters hibernate
Under the snow and ice.

We wake up all the sleepyheads
So quietly and nice!

We help them gather up their food,
Fix their homes below;

We welcome back the Southern birds

So their families can grow!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

No easy task to clear the ground,
Plant our tiny seeds.
With proper care and sunshine,
Everyone it feeds.
Apples, carrots, celery stalks
Colorful flowers, too!
We must work so very hard,
It's just so much to do!

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

This world is still strange and new but,
I'll try to earn my place,
And help the ones who've claimed my heart,
This challenge I will face.

How can I do this as a man,
and still help the pony way?
This is my home, so I must-
Do what I can today...
What I can today~

Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer~
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here~
Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!

'Cause tomorrow Spring is here~
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here~
'Cause tomorrow Spring is here!

When the music was over, some of the work had already been done. Omnius was sitting nearby, and I glared at him. He just put on his best troll face and waved. I sighed, and flew off with Dashie. We had to get the southern birds, and get them all into their respective nests.

"Well that was... Awkward."

Dashie gave me a peck on the cheek. "You did great." I felt my face heat up.

We flew quickly, to get done, and get home soon.


After we came back and got the birds sorted, I was exhausted. I also had marks all over my head from when a flock of birds attacked me. Right when I sat down, Pinkie was... Hanging in front of me? She was upside down... But how?

"She's Pinkie..."

"Now you can get that massage from Dashie when you two get home!" She grinned wildly.

My face burned red, as did Dashie's.

"HOW THE BLOODY HAY DID YOU KNOW THAT?" I glared at her. She just giggled.

AJ just broke out into laughter, and everypony else tried to hold it back. Twilight failed.

"Come on Dashie, before we're embarrassed anymore... Although I am looking forward to our 'personal time.'"

"What about Scoots?"

"She's staying with the Crusaders at AJ's tonight."

"Does she know that?"

I tried my best to stretch out my neck and imitate Engineer. "Nope."

Dashie snickered, then nuzzled my side. "I love you."

"Right back at'cha."

We flew off, but not before I heard a crash come from AJ's house, and the orange cow-pony just glared at me.

"Me: 1. AJ: 0."

What? Just because I'm a hero doesn't mean I don't like to poke fun at my friends every once in a while!

Chapter 62: Springtime Shenanigans

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I woke up, and immediately threw my arm over my eyes. It was spring now, so it was much less cloudy, and the sun was shining into my eyes. Dashie just lay next to me, still asleep. I smiled, remembering her promise from yesterday. She was right, that did help me relax. A lot. I felt a million times better, considering the fact that I had died. I got up and dressed, and decided to go about my daily routine: Wandering Ponyville aimlessly until I find something to do.

"Who knows, I might get to save the world again!"

I slipped on my hat and jacket, and then my shoes. I walked outside, and looked around. The sky was a nice shade of blue, and there were hardly any clouds in the sky, aside from the gigantic one I was standing on, of course. I jumped off, and flew towards Ponyville.

The rush of wind on my face felt great. I never really had time to just fly. Every time I was flying, I always had a distraction, but not that day. The rush of adrenaline I got when I looked down was amazing. I always wondered why Dashie loved to practice tricks and stunts so much, and now I knew.

This was WAY better than skydiving.


I wandered around a bit, making some small-talk with some of the ponies. I even got to meet Derpy's daughter, Dinky Doo. I swear, if cuteness could kill, that little filly would be walking death. I decided to take a walk in the park, wondering if I would see anypony I knew there. I looked over to the tree Zeph had been running circles around when Omnius pulled a Benny Hill on him. I chuckled. Then, I saw a familiar pair.

"Hey... You're that guy..." I looked next to me to find the source of the voice. A light green mare, with a pale light green and white mane. She was sitting on the bench like a human, with her legs hanging off the edge and her hooves holding onto the seat of the bench to maintain balance.

"Erm... Yeah... I'm that guy..." I didn't know how to respond to her statement.

Then, the cream mare with a purple and pink mane sitting next to her spoke up. "So, YOU'RE the human we keep hearing so much about. Nice to meet you! I'm Bon-Bon," she gestured to herself, "and this is Lyra."

"Oh. Nice to meet you both. I'm Kyle."

"Nice to meet you too." They were both speaking in unison... What is it with ponies and doing that?

"So, you're friends with that Omnius fella?" Lyra raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah." I can be a man of few words when the time is right.

"Well, he's pretty weird at times." Bon-Bon apparently remembered what had happened the day before.

"Honestly, weirder things have happened. Am I right?"

They both nodded. We said our goodbyes, and I took my leave. After the conversation, I headed to Sugarcube Corner to get something to eat. It was there that I spotted all of my friends sitting at a table outside of a restaurant. I walked over and pulled a chair up from a nearby table.

"Well hey there everypony. What's up?"

"We were just talking about stuff." Dashie shrugged. She had apparently woken up in my time of wandering around, and come down to hang out.

"Oh, then go on."

The ponies began to tell long stories from their past. I actually learned quite a few things. Like how Pinkie used to be really sad all the time. Dashie's bullies (I snickered when I heard Hoops' name. I was hoping he would confront me again, just to teach him another lesson,) and how Twilight turned her parents into plants.

Eventually, the inevitable happened.

"So, Kyle. Would you care to tell us a colorful tale from your past?" Rarity smiled at me, expecting something juicy.

At first, I didn't want to tell them, as most of my stories involved me being hurt, bullied, or almost arrested (That brick wasn't supposed to hit that window.) But then, I remembered when I had gone back to Earth, and how Don brought up the "Chicken Fiasco."

"OK, brace yourselves everypony, because this story is going to be hilarious... So, there was this guy who lived near me. Really big jerk, tried to get his wife sent to rehab just for taking pain medication given to her by her doctor saying she was an addict, just to get custody of their kids. So what I did, is..."

I would put the rest of the story here, but I know how you guys hate funny stories. So, let's just skip it.


After another few minutes, I heard a familiar shout.


"Oh hay no!" I frantically searched for the source of the voices, and looked into an alleyway, where I saw the CMC climbing a few crates.

"Girls... Get down from there... NOW."

Scoots just looked at me, a pleading look in her eyes. "Awwwww... But we wanna get our Cutie Marks!"

"I understand that, but I won't let you get yourselves hurt over it. Get down from there!"

They all "Awwww'd" in unison, and climbed down from the crates.

"So... What's next on th' list?" Apple Bloom looked at Sweetie Belle, who put her hoof on her chin, trying to remember. Then, she smiled. "Barrel rolling!"

I just stared at her. "WHAT?"

They all started talking at once, until Scoots shushed them, and explained it. "We're going to balance on the top of barrels while we roll them down hills! It'll be fun! BYE DADDY!"

Before I could object, they ran off.

"Oh no... I should warn everypony..." I felt a troll face coming on. "But... What's the worst they could do?" An image popped into my head, and I shuddered. I just kept walking. I looked into the sky, and saw the sun beginning to set. I decided to set off on my way home.


Whilst I was on my way home, it felt like somepony was following me, and like I was being watched.

Now, before I continue, I should tell you a few things about me.

1. I am EXTREMELY paranoid.

2. I am very jumpy when I am alone.

3. These are even worse when I'm walking a path in the dark. At night. All alone.

Got it? Good. Lets continue.

I was going down a path that led to an area very close to my home, as I didn't want to have to do too much flying in the dark. I heard some leaves rustle, and I spun on my heels to look in the direction. I saw a yellow glint in a bush, but I payed in no mind. I kept walking, and the thought drifted from my mind, and then, Torrentican invaded it.

"Hello there! How are you, my little pest?"

I jumped. The image of his face was flashing through my mind, and his voice sounded as if he were standing right behind me.

"How in the blazes are you-"

He cut me off. "You needn't worry about that. You know, you're quite the person, you know that? I'm digging around in here, and I see all of these thoughts, these emotions, these fantasies... Oh, I didn't know you and Dashie did THAT!"

I blushed deeply, and started to get just a LITTLE freaked out.

"OK, you've had your fun. GET OUT OF MY HEAD."

"My my, quite the demanding one, aren't we? I don't think you're in the position to be making demands... I'll be keeping my eye on you. Oh yes... You've managed to foil one of my plans with your little friend Nathan, but I'll get you yet. Goodbye..."

His image faded from my mind. That was creepy...

"How the hay will he be keeping an eye on me?" The voice in my head was my own, thankfully.

Then, I heard the bushes rustle again. I looked behind me, and saw a unicorn foal, who's coat was pitch black. He blended in with the night almost perfectly, I couldn't even see his mouth. And his eyes were glowing yellow.

"Wow. That's a neat little spell..."


"OK... So, are you lost?"

The foal just tilted his head, staring at me.

"Erm... Alright then, I guess not. Have a nice day, little guy." I tipped my hat, and turned around, and was back on my way.


After arriving home, Dashie and Scoots were already asleep. I took off my clothes, apart from my underwear, and sat down, rubbing my chin. I had to gather my thoughts.

"Great... Torrentican is keeping an eye on me... But how? Unless he's sitting in my mind right now, listening... Oh boy. Well, I guess I'll just jump that hurdle when I get to it. For now, the mistress sleep awaits."

The stress was catching up with me, and I realized just how exhausted I was. I laid down, and closed my eyes. Eventually, I felt sleeps wonderful embrace.

Little did I know, there was a pair of bright yellow eyes, watching me intently through the window.

Chapter 63: Intrusion

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As soon as I woke up, I had a weird feeling that somepony was watching me. I shot up out of bed and looked out the window. Nothing...


"I could've sworn I saw a streak of black run from the window... Whatever."

I smelled something in the air, and then I realized Dashie was making breakfast.


Scratch that, Scoots was making breakfast.

"Kyle! Are you up?" Dashie yelled from downstairs.

"Yeah! I'm up! Gimme a sec!"

I grabbed a shirt and a pair of off of the floor, and put them on as I walked downstairs. When I arrived in the kitchen, there was a black figure which I assumed was a pan on the stove, and there was batter for something everywhere.

"So... You were trying to make breakfast?"

Scoots just nodded her head wildly.

"Ugh... Well, tell the Crusaders that cooking is not your special talent..."

The smile on her face went from wild to sheepish. She trotted off, and I helped Dashie clean up the mess.

"You know, when we adopted her, I had no idea she would be this... Fun."

Dashie just gave me her "Huh?" face.

"I knew that having a kid would be fun, but I never knew that they could be THIS much fun. I mean, just look at this mess she made, it's hilarious! I find it cute how she keeps trying all of these new things..." I smiled as I continued to clean. Dashie just kept looking at me, but then gave me a warm smile.

"Hello there, hero." My eyes widened. Guess who was in my head again...

I lowered my tone to a whispering growl. "You get the hay out of my head. RIGHT. NOW. I'm having a moment with my wife..."

"Oh, a 'moment,' huh? Like the one I saw in your fantasies last night?" The image of Torrentican in my head gained an evil smile across his face.

"I swear, when I find you, things that no man should even think of will be done..."

"I know, I see all of these fantasies of yours, plotting ways to kill me. Well guess what? I'm like Omnius. I can't die."

"I can still maim you. And if you can't die, I wonder what would happen if I cut off your head..."

"Oooh, quite the violent one, aren't we? I like that..."

"Yeah, well I don't like you. Now get out of my head, out of this world, and out of my LIFE."

I had managed to finish cleaning in the time I was arguing with the evil Traveler in my head.

"Dashie... I'm going out for a bit... Seeya."

Dashie waved goodbye as I walked outside and flew down to the ground below.

"So, where are we going?"


"I think I might just stick around for a bit. There's some really juicy stuff in this little head of yours. How would you like it if I told Rainbow Dash about those thoughts that were in your head whilst Fluttershy was all over you?"

I blushed madly, remembering what had run through my mind when she had admitted her feelings to me. Hey, I'm a teenage boy, who's mind is already in the gutter. The fact that she said she loved me REALLY didn't make matters any better.

"Alright, that's it. Get out. If you payed rent I wouldn't mind, but you don't. SO BUGGER OFF."

"How will you go about making me leave?"

"I'll... Well I can... Bullocks."

"That's right. Now then, I think I might just stay here, and watch how you spend your days here. And I could ruin a few friendships, resurface fantasies at horrible times, you know, have a little fun."

"Man, you aren't just evil, you're sadistic... Well, at least we have something in common." If he was stuck in my head, why not be friendly?

"What do you mean?"

"Well... OK, there was this game I played before I came here. It's called Manhunt... Just dig around in there for it a bit. You'll see what I mean."

"Hmmm... Oh. I see what you mean. Well, I guess we do have some common ground."

"You know, maybe instead of trying to kill, destroy, and ruin everything you find, you should try this."

"And what is this?"

"A potential friendship."

"Ha! I'm not like Omnius. I won't make friends with some mortal fool."

I grinned smugly. "We'll see..."


"... And the decorations are all there?"

"Yep! It'll be super! ImeanI'veneverreallyplannedoneofthesethingsbeforebu-"

I put my hand over Pinkie's mouth to shut her up, just like Dashie does. "I get it... Well, thanks Pinkie. I knew I could count on you."

"Okie-dokie-lokie! Bye-bye!"

I walked out the door, still feeling a little uncomfortable that Torrentican was listening in on all of that.

"She's quite the... Excited one, isn't she?"

"Oh, you have no idea. This is her on a calm day. You should see what happened when I bought her that sack of sugar for her cupcakes... She ate the whole sack. I swear, I had nightmares for a week."

"In hindsight, that wasn't your best idea."

"Yeah. I know. Hey, you're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"You're being friendly again. I'm starting to think that under that evil crust, is a regular human guy, just waiting to get out..."

"Never. I would never be friends with a prat like you."

"What makes you say I'm a prat?"

"You're just too... Nice. You try to help everyone. Why?"

"Because, Torrie," I grinned at the nickname idea, and hoped that Omnius hadn't already thought of it. "I'm that kind of guy. I'm forgiving, and I always see the good in people, or ponies, no matter how dim it is. I can see some good in you, too. You act like you're all evil, but somewhere, your human self is still in there, and regrets everything you've done. You can be a good guy, Torrie. Everyone can. You just need more help than others, that's all."

"As if I would accept any kind of assistance from a mere mortal like YOU..."

"Just because you're invincible, doesn't make you better than me. Actually, the fact that you use immortality as a scapegoat like that just proves that I can be a better man than you."

"And what makes you say that?"

"I have a little something called 'modesty.'"

"So you're fearful of people adoring you for what you are?"

"No, I just don't go around flaunting my reputation and try to use it to get advantages over others. I still count myself as a regular citizen, like everypony else."

The image of Torrie in my head had a puzzled look on his face, as if a revelation had come upon him. Then, the image shook its head, and glared at me.

"Whatever you're trying to pull, it isn't working. You won't make me change, and I'll still destroy you. Just watch me. I'll be back, Kyle Bucy, I swear it."

"Sheesh, Omnius doesn't call you 'The Cliche One' for nothing..."

The image scowled, then disappeared from my mind."

"Is this my voice now? Yes? Good..." It was going to take a while to adjust to talking to a harbinger of death, evil, and war by means of having him in my head.

I sighed, and just kept on walking. I didn't even know where I was going until I saw the trees and a familiar bench. I was in the park... And a small, black, yellow-eyed foal was watching me from a distance.

"Huh... That's creepy. Is he stalking me or something? I wonder if he's a fan or something... Do kids nowadays like rave music?"

When the foal noticed I had seen him, he just tilted his head at me, just like last night.

"Whatever. If he IS stalking me, he'll just give up eventually."

I just kept on walking, and realized I had gone the wrong way. I was actually leaving Ponyville. Then, I decided that I would pay Omnius a visit.

"I think I remember somepony saying he lives on the outskirts of town..."

But, after a good ten minutes of searching, I found no house. Then it hit me.

"If he can travel between dimensions, he could be in an alternate Equestria... An Equestria where I never came along... But then how did Twilight and everypony else recognize him? Ugh, all this wibbly-wobbly spacey-wacey and timey-wimey stuff... I just pulled a Pinkie... is making my head hurt. If I see Omnius again, I'll ask him..."

I turned around to head back into Ponyville, and saw that stalker-foal again. I just shot him a glance, and then kept on walking, paying him no mind.

I still can't believe how oblivious I was...

Chapter 64: Determination

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I had been wandering around Cloudsdale for a little while, looking for something new to do. I eventually stumbled upon Zeph and Spits, happily enjoying lunch. I approached them, and they smiled when they saw me.

"Oh, hey Kyle."

"Hey kid."

"Hey Zeph. Hey Spits. How goes it?"

"Zephy was just going to tell me the story of how he cleared most of Sweet Apple Acres of snow with a new trick he learned." Spits turned back to look at him, and he grinned. I pulled up a chair and sat down.

"I wanna hear this story too. I must have been getting the birds when you did this."

"You were. OK, so I was just flying around, using the wind to blow the snow into piles, right? Well..."




I flew over Sweet Apple Acres, flapping my wings like mad. I was gathering more and more speed, and I eventually started throwing the snow I was "sweeping" everywhere. Eventually, ponies on the ground stopped and stared at me.

I started to feel a strange sensation in my tail, and then my entire body. It felt like a burning sensation, but a pleasant one. But then, something shocking happened.

My tail and the air behind it erupted into flames, sort of like the smoke behind The Wonderbolts. I kept flying, keeping my composure, and flew over the snowy areas, being careful to avoid the trees. After a few minutes, I had melted all of the snow.
Everypony just stared at me, and then they cheered. I had finished all of my work, so I decided to go home, and Lil' Fire decided it would be a good idea to not let me get any sleep.




"Woah... That sounds AWESOME! And that part at the end..." I started to laugh.

"Yep. Hey, Lil' Fire, wanna get going?"

"Sure... I can't believe that story. I also can't believe you added that bit at the end... I think I might have to punish you..." She looked at Zeph seductively, and I decided it would be a good idea to leave.

"Ohhh... I see some dirty thoughts in here..."

"Torrie, GET OUT OF HERE!"

"I thought we were 'friends?'"

"Ugh... Well, don't even think about trying anything while you're in there."

"Oh, I would do no such thing!"

"Sure you wouldn't..." I lowered my tone to a quiet mutter. "You dirty no good son-of-a-"

"I can still hear you. You know that, right?"

"Ugh... You should really find a better way to watch me than sitting in my head."

"Oh, but this is how I communicate with you. I'm watching you through gleaming eyes..."

"Gleaming eyes?" I remembered the foal who and the yellow eyes. That glowed...

"No way."

"Yes way. I've been watching you this whole time. Might I say, your wife is a very sound sleeper, knowing she has a homicidal maniac sleeping next to her."

"Hey, I've never killed anyone!"

"But you've thought of it. With some people, and even a few ponies, all you wanted to do was end their lives..."


"Oh but I do! I'm in your mind, Kyle... I can see everything you want. Everything you think... Everything you feel..."

"That's it. You're getting out of my head, one way or another. I tried to be nice. I mean, you tried to KILL ME and I gave you a second chance. You just don't understand the meaning of compassion. Of happiness. Of love. And I couldn't feel more sorry for you."

"Why would you feel sorry for me? Without such emotions, I have nobody to lose."

"And you're lonely. Under that 'big bad Evil Traveler' crap, you're just a sad, lonely, and angry guy. I think you just need a friend, and you just won't let anyone get close enough to you. No, you would rather just kill and destroy. I pity you, I really do."

"I don't want your pity..."

"Well too bad, Torrentican, you have it. I feel so sorry for you, not having any loved ones, or even any friends. You know why Omnius always kicks your rear-end to the curb every time you try something?"

"Because I haven't perfected my plans..."

"No. Because he has an advantage over you every time."

"And what's that?"

"Friendship. Care. Love. All the things you don't have. I doubt you'll ever even get the upper hand over him, let alone beat him. So, my good sir, I bid you adieu."


"Finally, glad to be rid of tha- Oh no."

I saw a little shade of black jump behind a tree. I walked over, and reached back. I picked up the little foal. I knew then why I didn't see his mouth... He didn't HAVE one. I stared right into his glowing yellow eyes.

"Way to go, Torrie. You gave away your spying plan. You won't get me now."

I threw the "spy drone" of sorts against the tree, and it exploded into a black mist.

"And good riddance. Sheesh... Why can't I just have ONE normal day...?"

And Torrentican wasn't through yet.

All night, it was just one bombardment after the other. Whenever I even tried to relax or even go to sleep, I would just get one horrible mental image after the other. And after I had finally managed to get to sleep, Torrentican made me have a nightmare of being left all alone, doomed to wander Equestria in total silence. Dashie told me I was sweating that night.

I swear, no matter how long it takes me, I'm going to hunt Torrentican down, and put an end to his evil, with or without Omnius's help...

I was done with the evil. I was done with the torment. I wanted to put an end to it. And I was going to make sure that I did.

No matter the cost.

Chapter 65: Eternal Bonds

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After a few days of trying to figure out how to find Torrie (with him laughing at me the whole way,) it was finally time. I paced back and forth, wearing a tux that Rarity had made for me. Omnius had offered to do the vows, and I happily accepted. But of course, I was nervous. Zephyr, who was my Best Stallion, was trying to reassure me.

"Well, you love her, don't you?"

"Yes, and I'm willing to make this commitment, Zeph, I'm just naturally nervous. It's just one of those things you know you can do but you get freaked out anyways. And plus, I've got Torrentican, who could jump into my head at any time..."

"What?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Nothing. Another story for another day. For now, I think I had better just focus on the task at hand..."

I took a few deep breaths, and calmed down. I usually wasn't one to get so nervous, but then again, this was a pretty important day, now wasn't it?

"So... Zeph... Your wedding is going to be in a few weeks, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"No reason... Wouldn't it be weird if we have our honeymoons in the same place?"

"Heh, yeah, it would."

"Alright... You know, I wonder how Dashie's gonna look. She never let me see her dress..." I started to think about it, but then decided to stop.I didn't want to give Torrie ANY opportunities to ruin my good mood.

I had just managed to calm down when Omnius poked his head through the door. "You ready?"

I looked in the mirror. I had actually combed my hair for once, as I normally just wore my hat anyways. The tux was spotless, and I felt great. "Yeah, I'm ready." I walked out and stood at the end of the aisle, waiting. I eventually started getting anxious, and began tapping my foot. Then, the pony at the organ started playing. I broke out into a sweat. I can't believe how freaked out I was.

I saw Dashie round the corner, and it was the most beautiful sight I will ever behold. She had her mane combed, and she had a white veil, with a matching dress, a one of a kind made by Rarity. I could feel tears coming on.

She walked up and stood next to me, and Omnius grinned at me. Then, he started reading the vows...

"Dearly beloved..."


"...You may kiss the bride."

Dashie threw herself at me, and we locked lips. Then, it was official. We were hitched, and I was as happy as could be. As soon as we kissed, everypony in the crowd just cheered. As soon as we broke the kiss, we just smiled at each other. But then, the worst possible thing happened.

"Awww... How touching. Blech..."

I told Dashie I would be back, and went to the bathroom. I locked the door, and sat down. "Torrentican, please, just get out of my head for this one day..."

"But I want to see what you and 'Dashie' plan on doing later..." The image of him in my head got an evil, sadistic grin, and I realized what he meant. My face turned a deep red.

"NO! THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT MAN! Jeez, I know you're The Eternal Traveler of Evil, but WOW. That's just sick and low, even for you."

"Oh, but it isn't low, it's just fun."

"You're sick. At first I thought you were just evil, but you're sick."

"Oh boo-hoo, at least I'm not a little do-gooder like you and Omnius."

I snickered at that. "You say that like it's a bad thing. At least I don't watch people while they do it. I think I'll call you Tom from now on..."

"Why is that?"

"Because you like to peep."

"Oh ha-ha. Clever..."

"You know, you're being friendly with me again."

A minute of silence, and I knew he had given up. He tried to ruin my wedding, but no dice. I stood up, satisfied. I opened the door, and saw the edge of a blue jacket swish around the corner.

"Oh no..." Boy was it good to hear my own voice in my head.

I rounded the corner, and saw Omnius standing there. He tried not to look at me. He had been eavesdropping. He must have walked by the bathroom and heard me talking to Torrentican. I didn't say anything to him. I just turned to walk away.

"Kyle, wait!"

I just kept walking.

"Who were you talking to?"

"Just ignore him, Kyle... you don't need this right now..." Sometimes I think to myself in the third person. I remembered Trixie.

"Answer me dude!"

I spun on me heels and gave him a piercing glare. "Nopony. Nopony at all. I don't need anymore stress today. So just LAY. OFF."

Omnius looked taken aback. I felt bad for getting angry at my friend, but I just wanted to enjoy the rest of my wedding day. I tried to just walk away, but I felt guilty. I turned back around, and Omnius was still there.

"Alright, I'll tell you... Torrentican is in my head."

Omnius raised an eyebrow. "Whadd'ya mean?"

"I mean, he's in my head! Sometimes an image of him just appears in my head, and I hear him talking to me... I usually manage to outsmart him, but... He's still watching me." I looked out the window, and saw a little streak of black dart away at the last second.

"How? Shadow Stalkers?" He had a look of genuine concern on his face.

"You mean those little black foals with the yellow eyes? Then yes."

"Well... I don't know what to say..."

"Then don't say anything, Omnius. I don't need help. I'll fix this problem myself. I'm going to hunt him down, and give him the thrashing of a lifetime. I don't care if he can't die, I'll make him suffer..." I clenched my fists and teeth and closed my eyes, pure rage flowing through me.

Omnius put a hoof on my shoulder. "Listen, I know he's making you angry, but do you really think a manhunt is the best course of action? Don't you think that's what he wants? What if it's all just a big trap?"

I brushed his hoof off. "I don't care. With the things he's said and the things he's done, I can't just give up like that. I'll find him if it's the last thing I do."

Omnius just stared at me, so I stood up, and walked away.

I've had so many memories of this place, and Torrentican was trying to ruin the rest I could. That day was a prime example. He butted in on my WEDDING. I couldn't forgive him. Even though Omnius told me not to go hunting for him, I did.

I still wish I would have listened.

Chapter 66: All Good Things Must Come To An End

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I wasn't dressed up, but I had actually cleaned myself up again. I was on the way to Zeph's wedding with Omnius, who was invited a little bit after the... Benny Hill incident. Omnius was telling me about his more recent travels, and we laughing the whole way. I seemed like I was fine, but in truth, I was worried. Torrentican was watching my every move. What if he crashed the wedding?

"...And then then this tank came out of nowhere and... Hey, are you listening? I was in a world where Left 4 Dead was real, and you're spaced out."

I shook my head, snapping out of the trance. "No, no... I'm fine..."

"Torrentican bothering you?" He had a look of serious concern on his face. I felt bad for lying to him, but I didn't want him to worry.

"No! No, it's alright. Really, I'm fine... Don't worry about it." I tried my best to cover up my emotions. I felt guilty, but Torrentican was an issue I had to deal with myself. He messed with my family, and he tried to kill me. It was too personal to let anypony help me with. I have always had an issue with pride...

"Alright... I'll trust you on this." He got up on his hind legs, and put his front legs on my shoulders, staring straight into my eyes. "But listen, you need to believe me when I say that if you go up against him, you need to be strong, and try to call for me, and hold out until I get there. I don't want you making any rash decisions, Kyle. It could be really bad, and I don't want to see anything happen to you. You're my friend, and friends help each other. If you fight him, you need my help, got that?"

I just stared at him, both thankful and worried at the same time. But, I responded in the best way I knew. "Alright, I will..."

I knew that was a straight up lie, but due to my pride, I felt like I couldn't ask him for help. It would make me feel weak...


We were nearing the wedding, when the thing I feared most happened.

"Well hello there, newlywed! Allow me to be the first to congratulate you!"

"Hey, Omnius? I'll catch up, I gotta... Do my business." I pointed my thumb over my shoulder at the treeline near us.

"Alright, see you at the wedding..." He began to trot off, and I ran and hid behind a tree.

"Torrentican, what do you want? I'm not in the mood for your mind ."

"Oh, but this isn't a mind game, Kyle. This is a challenge."


"Yes. I want us to end this now. I'm growing bored of these silly mind tricks. Shall we solve this, man to man?"

"Sounds good to me." I heard a twig snap. I scanned the area where I had heard it come from. I didn't see anything, so I just passed it as an animal or something.

"So, where'll this scrap be?" I cracked my knuckles as I said this.

"There is an open field nearby. Hurry, as I have a bit of a surprise for you..."

"What kind of surprise? I'm not really one to be kept in the dark..."

"You'll see..."

"Well, if it's a trap, I'll pick up on it. Sorry."

I began to walk through the treeline, and sure enough, there was a large, open field. I adjusted my hat so I could see a bit better, and unbuttoned my jacket, so I could feel the calm breeze. But then, I saw something that made me drop my jaw.

"Well hello, Kyle. Long time, no see."

"N-No way..."

I just stared. Standing right in front of me was Torrentican, but in human form. He has pure black hair that's slicked back, with a few strands that are loose. He has pale, gray skin, wears a black overcoat, with a gray button up, silk shirt underneath it, and dull white khaki slacks, and pointed, yet shiny, black leather . He still had the black, soulless eyes, seemingly staring into my very soul.

"Yes, this is the surprise. I will fight you truly man to man. I will enjoy digging out your eyes with my bare hands. You know, you do have quite the set of eyes..." He stared into my eyes,and I could feel myself falling into his gaze. Luckily, I had enough willpower to snap out of the trance and look away.

"So... This is where it'll happen, huh? The final battle... You know, it seems fitting in a way, a battle between good and evil, in a big open area, where nopony will get hurt..." I looked around, making sure there were no ponies nearby. I could have sworn I saw the swish of a dark brown tail, but I payed it no mind.

"Ugh, you're such a do-gooder, it makes me sick. Instead of worrying about your own well being, you worry about the safety of others? Why?"

"I've already told you, Torrentican. It's love. I love all of these ponies. They are all my friends, and they are all my family. I care for each and every one of them." The image of Hoops and his friends flashed in my vision. "Well, almost each and every one of them. I will protect them with my life. It's the least I can do. I mean I just fall into this world, a strange and alien creature, and instead of experimenting on me or locking me up, they accept me into their society with open arms. It's one of the best feelings I've ever experienced, and I won't let you destroy the cause of those feelings."

He stared at me for a moment, and then laughed. "Do you REALLY think any of that matters? Come now, why would you want all of this," he gestured towards the area around us, "instead of infinite power?"

"Because, I don't want power, Torrie. I'm not like you. I'm not selfish, I'm not evil. I'm not lonely. I have family and friends in this world. Do you think I would just abandon them for something as meaningless as power? Power has limits, love and kindness do not."

Torrentican seemed like he was about to start gagging. "Ugh, there is just no convincing you, is there?"

I tried my best to stretch out my neck again, and imitated Engineer. "Nope."

He scowled, and put himself into a battle stance. "En garde."

I stood sideways, and put my fists in front of my face. "Bring it, scumbag."


We circled each other for a moment, both of us staring down the other. Then I threw my hardest punch, which he easily caught. He just faked a yawn with his other free hand, which he used to punch me square in the stomach. I stumbled back a bit, but then ran at him again, when he lifted his hand to catch the punch I was readying to throw, I ducked down and drove my head straight into his stomach, knocking him over. I climbed up and sat on his chest, and started wailing on his face. I was aiming for his eyes, which had a look of amusement in them.

He pushed me off, and we stood, ready for the other. Then, he threw a punch, and I leaned backwards. He threw another, and I ducked under it, and then he tried to bring his knee up into my face. I threw myself backwards again, and used the built up momentum to grab the back of his head and shove it straight towards my knee. I grinned when I heard the satisfying CRACK of his nose, which had become a fountain of blood.

But then, he did what I wasn't prepared for. I saw a red light building up in his hand, and before I could react, he gave me a right hook to the temple, which sent me flying sideways, and landing face-first into the groud, sliding a bit. Then, before I could get up, I felt him drive his pointed shoe into my side. Then again. And again. I started coughing up blood, and I knew at least one of my ribs were broken. Torrentican just started laughing maniacally.

"You see what all that 'love and tolerance' got you? You're doomed, Kyle! You'll never beat me! Face it, you've lost. You've failed everyone. You've failed yourself, you've failed Omnius, you've failed Rainbow Dash, and you've failed Scootaloo. You LOST!"

Then, my wedding ring began to glow a faint rainbow color. I saw it change from a simple silver ring with a ruby in it, to a magnificent golden one, with a diamond, with a sapphire the shape of Dashie's Cutie Mark inside. Then, the rainbow colors began to coarse through my veins, and I felt all my pain melt away. Then I began to quietly laugh.

"What are you laughing at? You're DONE!"

"That, Torrie... Is where you're wrong."

I slowly stood up, my laugh growing in strength and volume. I managed to get to my feet, albeit I was a little wobbly. Then, the glowing rainbow was at full power, almost blinding.

Then, I felt a massive surge of energy. I raised my arms into the air, and threw them down. At that moment, a giant blast of magical energy released from me, creating a crater around where I stood. My jacket fluttered in the rushing air around me. Torrentican was thrown backwards, and was propped up on his shoulders, staring at me. Everything had a strange white aura to it. I realized that my eyes were pure white, and glowing.

W-What are you?"

Then, when I spoke, my voice was loud, and echoed. It was almost god-like.

"I am the tie that binds all together...
I am that which pushes all to greater things...
I am the reason wars are fought, and why creatures mourn the deaths of others...
I am Element of Love...


Torrentican just stood up, and kept fighting. But, he couldn't stop me. I just kept hitting him and hitting him. Blood was flying left and right, and I wasn't stopping. Torrie managed to land a few blows on me, but any pain I would have felt was absorbed by the raw power and adrenaline I was feeling. Then, I heard a yell.


(Pause the music for a minute)

I turned to see who it was, and it was Omnius, along with Dashie, Zeph, Spits, and all of my friends. They just stood there, staring at me. Dashie just approached me.

"Kyle... What happened to you?"

"Well," everypony cringed at the volume of my voice, "turns out, I'm an element. The element of love, Dashie." I gave her a large smile. Everypony just backed off, even Omnius, so we could continue the fight.

(Resume music)

Torrentican threw a few punches, but I just dodged them lazily. I started to feel a little tired, but just ignored it and kept wailing on Torrie. The white tint to my vision and the rainbow colors began to fade. I could more easily make out Torrentican's face. It was battered and bloody, and had bruises, cuts, and bumps all over. He also had a few gashes on his arms, and I could tell by the way he was breathing that a few ribs were broken.

Then, the magic in me faded completely, and I fell over. Torrentican ran over, clutched the edge of my jacket, and I felt a strange pulling sensation, then, the world around me swayed and shook. Then, I blacked out, the last thing I saw before doing so was Torrentican's evil smile.

(Stop the music)


I woke up in what seemed like a park. I tried to stand up, but the amount of energy I used in the fight had drained me to the point of paralysis. Torrie walked over and crouched next to me.

"It was an honor fighting you, Kyle. But I think now it's time you died... No, wait, I have an even better idea."

He pulled a small crystal out of his coat pocket, and it looked like a miniature version of the one I had broken in the cave.

"This probably reminds you of the crystal you destroyed, yes? Well, the one you destroyed was just a 'transmitter' for the energy that causes the rifts. That energy comes from this crystal right here, and you can't take it from me. I was hoping to tear open links to other worlds and bring horrible creatures through, and I succeeded, somewhat. It brought you through. And now, I know how to make you suffer for all the trouble you've given me. If this crystal is destroyed, all the rifts close, and you can never return to see your precious 'friends' and 'family' ever again!" He laughed, and then threw the crystal against a tree, and in shattered.

"NO!" I tried to move, but I just couldn't. All I could do was cry.

"Now, I will take my leave before Omnius follows me. Goodbye, Kyle. It's been fun."

With that, he disappeared, leaving dark, maniacal laughter in his wake. I just laid there, defeated. Then, I looked around, recognizing this place as the park near where I lived. But that meant...

"Look! He's over there!"

The government.



I had been institutionalized. The doctors told me that I was in a state of mental psychosis, and caused all sorts of trouble. They never told me what. I told them about the ponies, refusing to forget. Through a mixture of therapy and medication, they managed to convince me that it was all just a dream caused by insanity. It was what I was dreaming about while I went on whatever rampage it was that got me there. They never really filled in what happened in those two months. I asked them about the ring I was wearing, and they told me I got it from a sweetheart who died in a car wreck. After that, I just spent the rest of the year, going to therapy, taking my meds, living out my dull life.

I always thought about the ponies, and for some reason, I just couldn't get rid of the feeling that it wasn't just a dream, but I just ignored it, thinking I was just sick. But, I always felt like the doctors were actually trying to cover something up instead of help me. I don't know why, I just had the strange feeling that I was just being lied to. I just ignored it, wanting to get better and go back to my normal life...

Then I felt a hoof tap me on the shoulder.

"Hey buddy! Long time no see!"

I turned around to see a familiar looking brown pony, with shaggy dark brown hair, glasses, and a Gordon Freeman goatee.


AUTHORS NOTE: Welp, there you have it everyone. I've had fun, but this is getting way too long. But don't freak out, as I have a sequel! It's called "Le Retour". I love you all, and thank you for reading. In the mean time, read my other story, "A Shadow Brought to Light," as I will be working on that in my downtime when I'm not doing anything important. ONWARDS AND UPWARDS, ALLONS-Y!


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Cover Art: MuzzledElk

Pre-reading and proofreading: Inoeitall, Zephyr, and Nathan Traveler

That's about it... SHORTEST CREDITS EVER. So, thank you all for reading. And, the sequel is here! (Le Retour)

Alright, that's all folks! Stay tuned... Did I really just say that?