• Member Since 8th Mar, 2012
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Somewhere in the USA. Probably older than you. And something about MLP:FIM makes me want to write stories. Unfortunately, being gainfully employed cuts into my writing time.



This story is a sequel to Painted Horses

For six years, I’ve endured the world’s longest commute, secretly working in Equestria. And no one is the wiser.

Wait. Why is there an IRS agent at my door?

(While this story uses characters from previous stories, it can be read as a standalone story.)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 28 )

You file the regulation BEFORE first contact -- no hype no fuss -- just something that is a footnote -- then you announce your prescience when it happens.

The Taxman Cometh? Isnt that a Flanderisation and Swan song from the old days? :trollestia:

Wouldnt the gold still be valid currency, as you take it to a gold trade counter, get cash, then hand the cash in at the bank?

As for Twilights Castle being weak. Crystal isnt Glass, its Sapphire, and thats if it was pure cast, which is many times stronger than steel for a given weight. thats not including, it being a tree, the reasonable expectation that it has fibres of spun diamond instead of cellulose, which are both carbon based chains. Which is an awful lot stronger than steel for a given weight. And worth an absolute fortune on Earth.

Always wondered why it took so long for them to start tracking the OCR numbered bank notes when cameras, digitisers and networks go back to the 1970s. Non sequential, unmarked notes? Thats a laugh. Whats really suprising is that the banks still dont have Facebook style servers, and made it mandatory that all cash transactions have to be camera scanned and centrally tracked. Especially when the new NFC notes come out.

Pinkie walks into a bank and goes up to the counter. Id like to pull some dough. :pinkiehappy:

Come on? Why did the story have to end? It was so good!

Just remember it's the patriotic thing to do, like buying War Bonds and participating in a scrap drive.

So an IRS and a Secret Service agents wind up being first contact between the Equestriani and American governments, that's a twist. Despite the humor you did hit at some things usually glosses over such as taxes, and currency exchange rates.

I need to add somethings to my mental notes, poor Ambassador Highwind, your job just got a lot harder

8104059 It's obvious that gold and especially gems are much more common in Equestria. Rarity can easily find in the ground gemstones that appear larger than any gemstone that has ever been dug up on Earth, ever, and they're even cut and polished. It stands to reason they're not particularly valuable.

With this hypothetical magic working to stop people from moving valuables from one world to another, I would expect Equestrian gold bars to turn into some less valuable metal alloy, and a Rarity dress encrusted with gemstones would have ornamental stones or glass.


Actually that depends upon if the gemstones are a significant part of the value -- I mean if it is an original by an important designer -- the value is really in the dress not the gemstones -- so long as they aren't something the level of diamonds. A dress with aquamarine accents would probably go through intact.

8104974 But imagine Rarity's horror when her diamond-accented dress goes through the portal, and she sees it.

"This... this is cubic zirconia!"

(At which point, she promptly pulls out her fainting couch.)


Yes, she would be quite indignant at the way the portal works actually.


Actually diamonds might eventually go through when we have industrial diamonds cheap enough. They are already well-nigh impossible to detect at the high end.

Well, Ponta’s thinking ahead and I can't exactly blame him for that. I'm with 8104058 on the filing it first though though. US law already has all sorts of random 'what if' laws, or so I hear. One more won't matter, and it will look good that he has ideas for what might happen. Better promotion shot.

8105413 diamonds raise the question of artificial values. They are, by themselves, dirty cheap and common like fuck (for a gemstone). Their absurdly high price was constructed by the engagement rings industry. After all, you can buy diamond dust coated drills in any decent hardware store :derpytongue2:

So, when can we have more of this universe? Just finished reading it, and it left me waiting for more :twilightsmile:

8107742 The next story is about the wedding, and the unsuspecting human who gets to be the best man.

8107823 that's bound to be hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

Hope we can see some TwiJohn by then :pinkiecrazy:


Hope we can see some TwiJohn by then

I will neither confirm nor deny that "You banged the princess?" is one of the lines in that story.

Sigh Thanks for reminding me its still april...taxes suck

8107913 "No, really, I was just testing out my magic! I didn't mean to make her fur explode!"

8105325 Oh god, just trying to imagine what that new dress looks like...

It's rather appropriate that I read this now; my refund checks came in earlier this week.

In any case, this has been a most enjoyable series from beginning to present. There are times when the narrative's weighed down with excessive exposition, but there wasn't any of that in this latest installment. Thank you for some very enjoyable HiE/PoE. Here's to whatever other stories you'll tell in this setting.

this story is just so funny and in all the right ways.
love it.

Ponta looked at me. “There is still the issue of your taxes, Mr. Sedmak. U.S. citizens are responsible for paying taxes on income earned anywhere in the world.”

Actually no, no they are not.

There are a multitude of tax free zones and jobs that a citizen can work outside the US.

Am I the only person who is upset at the idea that first contact was postponed unilaterally by Princess Twilight Sparkle because it didn’t fit in with her plans? That’s insanely insulting on multiple levels. It’s the kind of thing someone would get called out on on first contact later, on why it was delayed in the first place.

psst... you are up to date on the next story, right?

Oh yes I most certainly am! :pinkiehappy:

Hang on, since when are thestrals bloodsuckers? Regardless, really enjoyed this story. On to the wedding!

They aren't, of course, but Discord has no problem bringing up that false reputation when it's funny.

I loved those cutie marks.

Time to read the earlier stories, this was a cute intro.

Yeah, if it's good enough for catching Capone it's good enough for catching the pone. *shot*

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