- Member Since 2nd Apr, 2016
- offline last seen Jun 27th, 2023
Sterlit
I spent a good amount of time thinking of a witty comment for my bio, this is what I came up with.
Sterlit
Joined 2nd Apr, 2016 ·
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Featured In27
Clopfics11,801 stories ·16,013 members
Rainbow Dash7,466 stories ·4,224 members
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Anthropomorphics7,808 stories ·5,052 members
My Little Fetish17,382 stories ·8,747 members
Completed Story Compendium21,503 stories ·1,740 members
Exhibitionism / Voyeurism520 stories ·668 members
- warning: cum inflation, belly bulging, huge insertion, gangbanging, etc. ahead3,987 stories ·3,660 members
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Well. THAT escalated quickly.
WELL PLAYED.
So, did Rainbow manage to pull off her threat to get Rarity pregnant?
INSTA FAVVVVV.... MOARRRRRRRneo-fringe.com/nimg.php?fn=IMG_0500.JPG&f=areas/a3/screenshots/ss3165-6m.JPG
7818387 Well, I would hope so.
Nice
They both went and took a nap. The end.
Are they the previous bodies? I think they may be the previous bodies.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/cybercultures/images/c/c1/Redundancy-redundancy-love-heart-tunnel-demotivational-poster-1223140831.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120125033759
Are they the previous bodies? I think they may be the previous bodies.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/cybercultures/images/c/c1/Redundancy-redundancy-love-heart-tunnel-demotivational-poster-1223140831.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120125033759
The cops were then called and the two girls spent the night in jail.
I...thought that was what you were going for. You're Rainbow Dash who's an absolute cock gobbling whore and she's Rarity the shameless 'lady' that takes cocks like a druggy takes drugs.
7818962 Shhhhhhhh
7819266
This is the weird form of stultification I have seen. I like it.
I'm sorry, I had to. I was reading, and was just thinking, this could be so much better. It escalated too quickly, and while both mares have a competitive streak....debasing themselves like that is too out of character for me. I don't mind a good sex scene, and someone in another body going hog wild enjoying the use of a body the've never had before. But....this just doesn't work. Sorry.
It has rarity and dash. I am morally obligated.
Instead I got an orgy... Huh
Shoulda read more of the description
7819760 Yeah, I noticed that all. But with writers block, low motivation, and everything else, it would of taken a day or so to fix, and I really wanted to get it out by Christmas. Along with multiple friends telling me it was great and whatnot, I just posted it.
7819760 Agreed. Too fast, too OC, too lopsided on the clop-to-plot ratio. Not only that, but Rainbow and Rarity do like each other, even when arguing. I doubt either would be willing to so thoroughly ruin the other's image.
Could have been better and it has potential but there are problems
1, the main leads were way too aggressive to each other, they acted like 2 people who cant stand each other and just wanted to make the other one look bad.
2,the "sex" part started too soon (it can work to start off a story like this) but this one just felt too forced.
3,the gangbang part was just weird, i mean didnt anyone find it strange that dozens of guys just flooding the place and nobody cares? the whole scenario itself was just a bit much with every male in town going through just 2 chicks (it can be done right but it was a bit overkill if you ask me)
And the "sluttification" is a hit or miss with me so im not going into that (it can work but also flop)
Now with all that said i still went through the whole thing start to finish and i still liked it to some extent, not the best but not the worst either its kind of middle ground.(the sex scenes were really juicy and nice up until well...you know..the numbers started going up)
I understand why you made it the way it is, if you're in a mindset like that things are bound to turn out different.
There are options to improve this but i dont wanna make this longer than it already is, you'll do better next time.
7821502
I imagined it spreading through word-of-mouth between the stallions. I mean Trixie gathered quite the crowd herself in only a short time after she came to Ponyville, so why is it hard to believe that these two willing mares can gather stallions with promise of sexual release?
I'm personally confused by your statement. The way you describe it, it sounds like the quality of the sex scenes suffered dramatically. Considering how I have written said scenes I can attest that I haven't noticed something so dramatic. I mean, how could the gangbang not have been juicy? There was a lot of rutting, cocks, two willing mares, cum-soaked wings and even a bukkake. I have no idea how things could have been more juicier at this point.
Or did you mean something different?
So... who won...?
How did they even decide the winner...?
Did anyone win...?
Did everyone win....?
Did Twilight win...?
Um... I'm just gonna go now and... think about my life for a bit. Oh, and good story BTW.
Nice, Sequel?
7821927 Tie, decided when they realized they were both sluts, and now they are friends with benefits who happen to jointly the town bicycles.
7821632 1, The problem i had with the gangbang part was just the realist in me saying: all these stallions and no mares wondering or even trying to see what the hell is going on? and the owners of the place not even careing that the place has this crazy stuff going on? basicaly noone trying to stop them?
2, That explains a lot actually why the build-up and pay-off parts are so different and why i felt those parts had issues.
And as for the sex scenes, dont get me wrong they were great, i liked that part, but when you wrote that a whole line has formed and every guy in town was a part of it, that little voice in my head started talking again:"wait a minute this is a bit much".
Im not against orgys, far from it, i read a few fics that pulled it off really well, but realistically having that manny guys go through a woman would turn the pleasure to pain real fast (im starting to ramble so ill finish here).
Anyway, since last time i forgot to list off the positives ill just leave them here.
The premis itself is interesting, swaping bodies and using said body to do things you wouldnt otherwise, and the sex part was great and entertaining.
These were just my problems i had with this, not sure about others, would like to see similar things like this, hope this was helpful and cleared up at least some confusion.
For fuck's sake, THAT IS NOT HOW HYMENS WORK.
PLEASE watch this. I'm so tired of this shit.
She could just throw on one of the hundreds of dresses she undoubtedly made for Rainbow in hopes the pegasus would dress nice for once. But their solution works too.
7823054
I imagined the owner being male and joining the fray, but I probably could and should have addressed this at the end of the gangbang. As for the mares, I imagine them fleeing from the building since most might not like such a show. Of course this is something that also should have been written out now that you mention it.
I guess that point is probably just one that not everyone likes. Someone told me that 'bit much' part on another story in which I let Cadance be gangbanged by the entire zebra populace of a town after the initial gangbang. What can I say? I like or more like LOVE excessive!
Might be, but I personally just like the thought of an excessive gangbang like that, no matter how unrealistic it may occur.
On the same note, I also like cum inflation, which isn't as realistic as well if a mares stomach is growing excessively like a balloon from cum. So in my personal opinion it can't hurt to be a bit unrealistic about it to make things a bit more smutty. Of course there are people who rather like things more realistic, but I'm simply different like that with my kinks.
Good to know that you liked the clop, even though not all of it was in your preferences!
It helped. The issues from point 1 were completely overlooked after all. So I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!
The downside is they're never going to be allowed in that restaurant again. On the plus side, they didn't pay the check.
static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/17/179016/2570640-5353427362-thumb.gif
Though, not such a fan of the underlined stuff. Any particular reason you added that?
Okay, Rarity, she can be a dyke or she can be a cum guzzling whore. Both doesn’t really work.
Well, this was great! Is there going to be a sequel? Because a sequel would be awesome!
8954892
She can still be both, if she eats out a squirter.