DeviantPone
Joined 6th Sep, 2017 ·
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Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,814 members
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My Little Fetish16,596 stories ·8,569 members
- warning: cum inflation, belly bulging, huge insertion, gangbanging, etc. ahead3,885 stories ·3,601 members
- Detachable Penis5 stories ·32 members
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This was fun. Raunchy and too pornographic to make sense, but fun! My only complaint is that I was a little lost when sweetie attached it to her body. It took me a while to understand that that was what was happening. Good show! Would read again.
7753011
Yeah. I have that problem sometimes. What helps me is to go back and read the whole story a good day after I've finished it. I don't like doing this (So it doesn't always happen) but there is a light-year's distance between stories I've written and then re-worked VS. stories that got no later love. The two I'm currently writing are not getting additional love yet, so they're really rough.
Still, this story is a bunch of fun to read, and grammatically pretty good, even if I got lost for a moment. I can tell that you put effort in proof-reading it/correcting it. Or you have an excellent ratio for accurate words/sentences and I'm super jealous. lol.
The ending feels strange the more I think about it. Celestia went from commenting on how she was going to save Twilight some embarrassment, and then decided "Fuck it. Lets humiliate this bitch slowly over the course of a year after doing what amounts to rape." It really didn't occur to me when I read it, but the more I think about it... Eh. Whatevs. Porn brain! Yay!
I also know what you mean about writing smut fast. I can crank out 10k a day of smut without much effort, but if I'm trying to write anything else I'm looking at 1 or 2k a day. It's pathetic! Of course, my smut is riddled with errors.
Well....that was....interesting to say the least
Hold up!........i detect a possible sequel. If it is true, I will read it. Most definitely
This song immediately came to mind.
*Clicked like.*
*Thumbs up counter jumps from 32 to 40*
Silly story idea:
"Twilight's Omnidick"
Twilight's love of applying written techniques leads her to grow frustrated when she reads about impossible sexual acts; faced with the bleak choice of forcing herself through increasing frustration or *gasp* purposefully not reading certain books, twilight uses her magic to create a third option.
7753751 Son of a bitch! You beat me!
Well that happened.
Though the ending got bazaar, I liked it.
I would like to see Celestia and Twilight with their kids. And I'd like to see twilight pregnant.
So sequel?
i.imgur.com/sK8M3.gif
Fetish Detected
hmm....
well, that was definitely new
Ehhhh. It was good up until the end, which was way way too rushed and incoherent. It's good, but it could've been great if you'd taken your time on it a bit more.
7754135
Sure sure. I believe, even though my actions counter act this, that the wants of the author should come before the wants of the reader.
Accent over the "l".
"Conscience."
This was a great read, but I can't help but feel that there's a little niggle in the wording when Rainbow is using the "toy". Twilight describes the sensation as "tight" and "very different" from her own use, then right after that we have "...she thrust the dildo into her ass over and over again..."
I thought that Dash was giving herself anal, so imagine my surprise when it suddenly mentioned her cervix! It's not a major issue by any stretch of the imagination, but it did interrupt the flow of the story as I went back to double-check what I'd just read.
I like this idea, it reminds me of a story idea i once had but had no where to write it, about a enchanted sex toy that connected the original user to others. there's a lot of potential for this and this story is great.
Totally not stopping me.
Huh, ok but why is Sweetie tagged?
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/41/30/b2/4130b258fcf0a522512af91d19d9c871.png
For the record, I couldn’t care less what you write, but you’re dead wrong that people with the mature filter off can’t judge you. The mature filter filters sufficiently violent and gory stories and even then there are still stories with sexual content that aren’t smut. If anything, you’re worse for having said that than they are for being prudes; their judgemental disdain for your work could possibly be over something subjectively true whereas yours for them is over something that is objectively false.
Death by
a thousand cutsquite a few small typos (some tenses too).Give it a look over in a day or two?
7756424
i dont even know how you interpreted that the author was calling people prudes
this is him saying he didnt want to post it on his main account at first (so what? so his normal followers dont judge him? i dunno) and then exclaiming that he realized he didnt care and that if you had the mature content filter off, that you couldnt complain about him posting clop?
i think
7756847 That's what I got out of it too. I don't see anything wrong with the statement.
Wasn't even a story.
7756847
He didn’t call anyone a prude, I did.
7756847
7756869
The part I took issue with was the “Anyone with their mature filter off can't really judge me.” That is objectively false for the reasons I stated. My contention was that “at least the prudes who look down on anyone who branches out into clop are doing so over something that is subjectively true”. It was a cheap shot but I felt it needed to be said.
Hilariously creative. Bravo.
That CelesTwi piece was hot. Any LuluTwi coming ?
7757030 Never mind, my sleep-addled brain didn't read your comment right.
I love me some impregnation, like, a lot, but god that's fucking low. Could've easily said that the the contraceptive spell is on the mare side and that neither of them cast it. I would have even been okay with Celestia ensuring the conception since she's not fucking with Twilight's side. But dispelling the contraception Twilight cast on herself, possible one of the biggest breeches of trust, ever.
7758354 you might wanna re-read the story CELESTIA casted the spell not twilight
Silly concept, but you fail anatomy forever.
7754765 Sort of true, but readers are allowed to say why they left disappointed. They had an expectation from the presentation that was not met. Perhaps you cannot judge a book by its cover (except you can, like we expect any Fallout Equestria fic to contain ponies, and fallout). But artistic liberty of course.
okay, i'll read it.
Can we please get a chapter with Twilight finding out they're pregnant? This was really hot.
Voluntold? Looks like somepony forgot to erase evidence of the word they were originally planning to use.
It seems a shame for such a cool concept for a story to end so quickly.
You could do a heck of alot more with this.
Would you consider perhaps rewriting the story to extend the dicks travels?
Imagine multiple chapters in which the dick is slowly being passed around and twilight slowly goes mad overtime trying to find it.
Honestly love it the way it is, but i'd love to see more.
I see someone's been reading Virtual Nyotaika Program...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Beautiful.
7761433
The only pony that would of gotten knocked up would have been Celestia Since she removed the Contraceptive spell unless Twilight casted it on herself and not her dick then Rainbow Dash and Celestia would be the only Two would have the option for that.
7763305 "Them" as in Celestia being indirectly referred to.
7763310
Ahhh I see my bad Yeah wouldn't mind getting another chapter where Twi finds out that she impregnated Celestia.
7761567 It's a word used in informal, common vernacular. "Voluntold" is the contraction of "volunteer" and "tell" (in past-tense).
In a sentence: "Oh man, I'm just so glad you voluntold me for that."
7763474 'Voluntold' Is not a word of any kind. I just looked it up in the dictionary,and even google doesn't know that word. Also that's a really shitty example,"Oh man,I'm just so glad you voluntold me for that."? Not only volunteer and tell don't mix at all,but the 'for that' in the end doesn't quite fit with the imaginary word either.
The way you described what Rainbow was doing I thought she had put it up her butt.
7763573 Voluntold is more inline with the military... i know from experience that if an NCO needs people to do something that it would be a volunteer... if he/she doesn't get them then he would randomly select people and say "congratulations you've just got voluntold to does this task."
7763573 It is not an official, formal word. It is a contraction that any half-competent English speaker can understand and accept. So accept it. It's part of vernacular, whether you think so or not. Get over it. Move past it. Or just be petty and argue with it.
Another sentence: "My mother voluntold me to clean the dishes." Happy? Or does the "my mother" not make sense to you? Maybe the "clean the dishes" part? I'm pretty sure that was a solid sentence this time, cupcake.