• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2016
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Inspector Brown


I am here to sharpen my writing skills. My objective with each of my stories is to create a narrative that dovetails with the show as seamlessly as possible.

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E

A short story written to answer the following question: Why wasn't Starlight Glimmer included in the episode "28 Pranks Later"?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 31 )

I'll comment again when I actually read this, but here's my thoughts on the question:
The episode takes place before Cutie Re-Mark, and so do the other episodes without Starlight in them that have aired this season.

First off, welcome to FimFiction, and congrats on your first story! :pinkiesmile: I thought this was competently written, with few (if any) technical issues, and a believable presentation of the characters. Where I thought this could be improved is in the way you incorporate information about things that happened in the past, notably Pinkie's birthday party; it can be difficult to keep things interesting while weaving in those kinds of background details, and right now they disrupt the narrative's flow a bit. However, overall this is a great start; many authors (and readers!) would love it if more stories were this clearly written!

'Twas a cute little one shot. Not too good but not bad by any means.
Grade: B

Not bad!

A well written story!

I myself was brainstorming a story about the lack of Starlight in that episode; except it's far more comedic.

7504341 From what I've heard, it's more like they were written before the previous season finale. They still chronologically take place after it, but there's no Starlight because she wasn't part of things at the time of writing.

7505353 Honestly, the show's always had a bit of a shifting timeline, so regardless of when an episode is written, it could take place before episodes that were written prior to it.

7505374 Perhaps, but some have their own moments of more recent continuity. Rainbow Dash finally becoming a Wonderbolt for example, which has been used in three Starlight-less episodes so far.

7505440 There's enough time space between the Cutie Map and the Cutie Re-Mark for all 3 to fit.

7505575 Not that much time. Scootaloo had her Cutie Mark in "Newbie Dash," remember?

7505584 True, but for all we know, the events of the other episodes took place within one or two days of Newbie Dash.

Okay, now that I actually read it... I thought it was okay.
I mean, it's a reasonable enough explanation, but that's about it.

There's one thing, though, and that's about the worry about getting the rainbow off of Starlight's mouth.
The episode itself showed that getting rid of it was as simple as wiping it off.

You willfully forced me to eat a rigged cookie, discolored my coat, humiliated me in public, and all you have to say in return is ‘Oops, my bad?’”

Yes, can you imagine - Intentionally forcing other ponies into behaving the way you tell them to and doing things they might not want to do solely because you think it's for the best, altering their appearence without their consent, even if only in a small area, and expecting to be instantly forgiven for everything after a half-hearted apology, if that.

I mean, a pony who did something like that would be utterly reprehensible. But I can't think of anypony who'd do that, can you, Starlight?

Okay, so I enjoyed reading this, all the way up to the last two lines. That really just pull the reader out and nearly ruin the whole thing. If you take them out, the story would rank much higher imo.

Starlight snarled at Pinkie Pie. “Oops, my bad? Is that all you have to say? You willfully forced me to eat a rigged cookie, discolored my coat, humiliated me in public, and all you have to say in return is ‘Oops, my bad?’”

What an enormous overreaction! And I'm very glad it's in there! Starlight's tendency to turn something little into something big is a big part of her character, and one of a few things that keep her from just being Sunset 2.0.

7571739 But notice the quotation marks. It's just Pinkie breaking the fourth wall, which she's been doing since the pilot.

Only one little quibble: Pinkie didn't force Starlight to eat that cookie. She tricked her into eating it. That doesn't really change the story at all, but just saying...

MJP
MJP #17 · Sep 23rd, 2016 · · 10 ·

involves starlight

is a random fic

basewd on the worst episode in history


go back to F*cking writing school, and are you new to the internet

7588511 Hi there! I'm glad to see that my story has captured your attention. When you get around to reading it, I hope you'll write me a review.

MJP
MJP #19 · Sep 24th, 2016 · · 2 ·

7588603 decent as an accusatory fic, but why doest starlight have to be the one to confront pinkie, she has lo logic herself, LOL, (but in all seriousness i agreed with starlight on practically everything) also, don't try to make pinkie look like the good guy, Did those pranks injure or kill anyone?, no?, then why do you think that scarring dashie for life and bullying her for a couple of harmless pranks, that's Gilda's job

7504341 and how do you know that?

7591080 I don't.
However, I find that the easiest thing to believe in regards to Starlight's numerous absences this season.

And, until an official timeline of the series gets released, detailing the exact order that the episodes take place in, I will continue to believe that's what it is in most cases.

7591080 I have no doubt in my mind that if your friends did to you what Dash's friends did to her in this episode, you would be scarred for life. I am doubly certain that your friends know that about you, and therefore would never do that. However, Rainbow Dash is not you any more than she is Starlight Glimmer. Not only was Dash not mentally scarred by the affair, I don't believe that's what her friends intended in the first place. I would recommend you read the sequel to this story, "The Joy of Being Pranked," where I expand on this topic. Barring that, I would suggest you watch the episode again, and see if you can figure out why each of the characters does what she does.

MJP

7591608 I would like this episode more if they did it "to get back at her" rather than to "teach her a lesson"

who in their right minds teaches someone a lesson on why pranks offend people by playing a prank on them, that makes them no different from RD

7591625 I've heard it said that "fighting fire with fire only makes a bigger fire," but people who say that don't know what fighting fire with fire actually means. When a wildfire breaks out in a forest that abuts people's houses, firefighters will strategically set fire to the wood and brush that is immediately adjacent to the residences, then smother it right away. Once all that wood is burned up, the wildfire won't be able to spread beyond that area, thus saving people's homes and lives.

Pinkie Pie knew from her conversation with Rainbow that she was a mare possessed, and she wouldn't stop pranking until she accidentally hurt somepony. Rather than wait for that to actually happen, Pinkie chose to trick Rainbow into thinking her cookie prank resulted in everypony getting sick. She knew Rainbow would only come to her senses when she saw that her actions caused irreparable damage to her friends. In short, this prank was like a controlled burn used to stop a wildfire.

I'll be honest, I did not like the episode the first time I saw it either. The idea of an entire town ganging up on one person for whatever reason really upsets me. But the humor was so clever and laugh-out-loud funny, that I felt bad about the negative feelings I was harboring toward the episode. That's why I started writing this story in the first place. I managed to convince myself that there was no foul play here, no malicious intent, and now 28 Pranks Later is one of my favorite episodes. I don't expect my comment to change your opinion on the episode. But, I thought at least I could give you something to chew on for a while.

Anyway, thank you for engaging me in this debate.

MJP

7602309 well, i think it's an extreme and complicated way to do it. if Dash Did it to ever-so-blunt gilda or, more appropriately spitfire got caught up in it she would probably smack her, and she would get the message quick

either way telling her they are offended by her pranks and then tuning around and throwing one on dash is a bit hypocritical

Really good for a first story, and a good story anyways.

Hearing this reminded Pinkie Pie of her last birthday party. Her friends had all conspired behind her back to throw her a surprise party. But when she caught wind of it, they all closed rank and refused to spoil the surprise. At the time, Pinkie convinced herself that they all hated her, and wanted her out of their inner circle. She was wrong, of course, but for a brief moment, she felt like her whole world was destroyed.

Okay I want to point out that there is a major flaw here. That flaw is the fact that several years have passed between the events of that episode and 28 pranks later so saying it was her last birthday party is highly inaccurate.

Anyway, it really didn't make any sense for Starlight to not be in this episode.

“It’ll be okay, I guess. This dye isn’t permanent, is it?”

If it's permanent, it would be The. Worst. Possible. Thing.

8423609 years if we're going by there time then its prob bend what 1 or 2 years ago

I give credit to you for using your story for Act 16 in Phineas and Ferb: Night of the Zombie Ponies (28 Pranks Later and Night of the Living Pharmacists) go check it out

fimfiction.net/story/516231/phineas-and-ferb-night-of-the-zombie-ponies-28-pranks-later-and-night-of-the-living-pharmacists

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