• Member Since 19th Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

IMFoalishFace


total scrub

T

It’s been four years since the Lightbringer walked the Wasteland, shaking the world to its very core. Now however, the forces of change have begun to stagnate. With the fall of the Enclave and Red Eye and division of the Steel Rangers, numerous factions have risen to take their places. Fighting to gain freed power and resources reaches from the streets of Fillydelphia and Manehattan, to the southern borders of the fledgling New Canterlot Republic, and even north into what remains of the Crystal Empire.

A chapter of Steel Rangers, turned on by their own kind and forsaken by Wastelanders, travel north into the icy wastes, following intelligence of a preserved Stable buried beneath the abandoned crystal city of Amor. However, the ponies of Stable 13 aren’t the shrinking violets usually found in the great underground shelters.

For forty years, parties of Stable 13’s dwellers have traveled the Wasteland, moving among the shadows as average merchants, mercenaries, and raiders. Keeping their true nature and origin secret as they gathered materials and equipment to keep their home intact. The Rangers would not be able to simply waltz into their abode without paying a steep price in blood.

In the end, few survive the battle and those that do are left to the frozen wastes to be hunted by a sadistic mercenary named Wintermail. She searches for information once thought long lost, held by a mare believed to be long dead. Now, a shadow of Old Equestria and a young star of the future must fight for survival and struggle to find a place in a world falling into the grips of chaos.

Will the wheels of change bring about a great new era or grind the Wasteland into oblivion?


Newly rewritten as of 1-7-18 See here.

Formerly Preread/Edited by:
ClickClackTheBrony

Cover Art by Hoodwinked Tales

High Honors to Kkat
However, I still feel like expressing special thanks to:
Somber - FO:E Project Horizons
NCMares - Night Mares
The Price of Loyalty crew
Alaxsxaq - The Wanderer of the North
Christian Cerda - My Little Portal
And two years ago me that reveled in edge like it was no one's business

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 63 )

I'm liking where this is going, keep up the good work!

Good start to the fanfic, I'll keep an eye on this one.

7445434 You're welcome, I always enjoy reading new Fallout: Equestria fanfics, and this one has an interesting idea.

Plus always nice to see a nod to Fallout with the number 13.

Good chapter, I look forward to seeing more in the future.

7489222

I'm working on it. My pre-reader's got stuff going on in his life right now.

Stasis pods wreak hell to ones mind if one is inside a pod for a long time.... being asleep helps in that regard if you can fall asleep.

7493772
That's what I figured. Its a real problem when those inside are cyber supersoldiers.

Nitpick i saw:

“My colors are all wrong though. I’ve never seen a black, indigo, and grey manitcore.”

I think you know what to fix.

7493805
Let's say I'm really thick and don't know what I should be fixing? :twilightsheepish:
That is the proper spelling of manticore...

7496463 Teacher says: manitcore is wrong, but manticore is right:twilightsmile:

:D mistakes happen.:eeyup:

Your book has been advertised on the new foe facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

7564557 Shoot, I'm just about to upload some cover art and another chapter:rainbowderp:
Thanks for the exposure though:twilightsmile:

7564783 then come join us. its a place for self advertising. come and spam about your work. :)

Loved it.

Nitpick:

It didn’t matter how much I blood or sleep I lost,

extra I needs to go.

7569281 Indeed. Thanks for pointing that out and the comment :yay:

This is great! Keep up the good work.

I reviewed the forward and chapter 1 for my weekly Fallout: Equestria fanfic reviews:

Review

liking the story, not liking how rare the updates look XD

7806725 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm a freshman in college and my prereader/editor has been having life issues so I haven't been getting as much out as I would like. I'm currently working on getting a chapter out for the end of December or early January but I've had other stuff to focus on.

Thanks for the appreciation though.:twilightsmile:

7806822 glad to hear another chapter is in the works, and i understand about the college stuff XD just finished college myself earlier this year
oh yea! i almost forgot. while reading i encountered a part where a section gets repeated. its the part where star tosses that dumpster, forgot which chapter it was

7807407 Congrats, and thanks for pointing out that repeat

Oh, good chapter! :pinkiehappy: Just add some humor and sexual humor. Would be great for story. :rainbowwild:
No I am seriously.:scootangel:

8144816 I need sexual humor, huh? I'll have to see what I can do. Thanks for the read:trollestia:

And now I wait.... hurry up with that next chapter IM! It's awesome so far! And I love the dynamic between Shadow and Star ^_^

8152757 I've got another chapter written, I'm just having trouble with getting it edited. Thanks for the read and I hope to have more by the end of the month.

Hmm... that's one way how one writes a contrast. This shall be an exciting read! :rainbowdetermined2:

YAAAAAY! I knew updates could still happen after years! :D

My only complaint is that, couldn't you gave come up with some more creative names for some of the things like' diamond city, synth, and the Yao guai (which is a Chinese name) I mean these rips from fallout 4 just break the immersion a great deal I mean I was really getting into it and I could handle the synth they seem like something that could happen in FEQ but when I heard the others it just broke the immersion like shattering glass it was pretty jarring so I don't know if you check the comments much but if possible could you go back and change the names of those things to something more equestrian it would greatly improve your otherwise good story

8729017
Thanks for the comment :twilightsmile:

I'll be honest, I didn't change the names of synths or yao gui because that's what they are. Coming up with something else and then having to explain that they're synths and a giant rad bear didn't seem worth while to me. FOE leaves just as much Fallout stuff with it's old name as it changes so I really don't see how I'm breaking some world structure. Diamond City really only shares its name with the FO4 location. I don't remember where I read it but a story had Diamond City as the ancient capital of Unicornia (the pre-Equestrian unicorn nation) and I rolled with that. I really don't want to go through and replace synth with something else, I've already been through a session of rewrites and calling equine-like robots Synthetics is something the Stable of super nerds would do. Yao Gui... I'll throw in a line about it being Crystal Pony or something for you. :applejackunsure:

Thanks for reading though :heart:

You know what I believe I know the story you are talking about I forgot it's name also so I can understand Dimond city. And synths work pretty well in the story my big issue was with the Yao guai but I can look past it for the sake of story telling. And I've attempted to write a fallout eq story befor but well I wasn't able to get the creative ball rolling due to school and other junk but if you need help with coming up with names and stuff I'll be happy to help.
I look forward to future updates to your story

Shadow's character right now is fine. Most soldiers are complete spazzes in general or have rather odd personalities. It takes a certain kind of mental bearing after all to willingly make yourself a target. Only during during combat situations and moments of instant planning when things are going to shit are when the whole total bad ass soldier thing show. And even then 70% of it of it is autopilot based on logic anyways.

So for her to have two or even three distinct mentalities isn't far off from reality. One that is based in combat, one of leadership, and one that is not involved with any of it. Even if one or both are active in the back of her mind. I like the fact that her mind wanders when given the chance. And the mental tangent on what was going on in the station during it's last minutes of active use was great. It shows off that always active logical thinking even if it is overt or not.

And my vote is for Grape to keep around. Shadow's supposed to be an officer. Have her prove how good a leader she supposedly is. In and out of combat.

I enjoyed the read and am excited to wait for more chapters. Keep up the good work.

9318699
Fantastic to know someone's enjoying it. Thank you :heart::trollestia:

Great work, looking forward to the next chapter!

8729017
Diamond City is named after the baseball diamond in the stadium that houses Diamond City. 'the big green jewel' is a reference to the green paint used on the outfield wall of the Real Life Boston Stadium.

Now, as to synth. That is a shortening of Synthetic. or artificial. So, it can be used in both universes without a problem.

As for Yao Guai. Yes, it is Chinese, but it has been established by many authors that since China was the main enemy in the FO4 series, that using that as the Zebra name for the same animal in Equestria makes sense. I don't see a problem here.

Perhaps it is not what you would choose to do, but it is what the author chose. And since you are not the author, your choices come in sad second place to the Author's sense of what's right and wrong. Being an Author myself, of several Star Trek Fan fics, both short stories, and small novels, I have gotten such demanding, pouting, and just plain 'foalish' comments in my time.

It is fine to suggest things to the Author, but to make demands just because it's something you don't like? That's trying to backseat write. To force your ideas on the creator of the tale. NOT COOL. If I make a comment about something I'd change, I defend my position by explaining myself and my stated change. I don't just tell the author 'hey, change this, I don't like it'.

Take a look at some of my longer comments in Crazyone's FOE: Commonwealth story. There, I at least explain WHY I feel a change is needed. I also explain why my opinion can be considered 'expert testimony', and not just some whining demand by a reader. (former USMC Enlisted Weapons Instructor. So I do have expertise in weaponry, where the author does not) That being so, I give my opinion on the change that I recommend, and why I think it is important to the story's flow. I also explain why the current weapon just can't do what the author may be imagining it can. I also, do NOT demand... I plead for the change. It is Crazyone's story, after all, not mine.

the Frank Pony

9540686
Hello! Thanks for your interest in my story, I'm glad people are still reading it. I have to ask you take it easy though, Epic and I worked out our differences several months ago and I would appreciate not having to revisit that incident. Thank you.

Comment posted by Rhymer deleted Apr 5th, 2019
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