Goodbye
I hate hospitals.
They’re that nasty little reminder of just how fragile life is. Especially for a pegasus. When you’re flying hundreds of meters up in the air, all it takes is one little mistake and it’s all over.
That was a basic fact of life, but it was one I was quite happy to ignore most of the time. The theoretical possibility of death always existed – but it was only a theoretical possibility, not a reality. Until now.
It all started a couple hours ago, when I ran into Rainbow Dash. She’d been busy for the last couple weeks, leaving me and Blossom in charge of handling all the weather stuff. After another long shift, I decided to stop by Derpy’s place on a whim. We’d had fun the last time we got together to eat each others’ muffins. I wasn’t looking for anything steady, but the idea of maybe making the muffin-eating into a semi-regular thing sounded fun. Nothing serious, just two ponies enjoying each other’s company. Or hay, who knows where things might go, really?
I knocked on the door and put on my best seductively cocky grin as I waited for Derpy to answer. Let’s hope one of her kids didn’t beat her to the door.
Long story short, they didn’t. Instead, it was one of the last ponies I’d ever want to expose to even a bit of my irresistible charm. “Uh, boss? What’s – um – hi boss.” Celestia, when did it get so warm out? Accidentally macking on your boss will do that.
Fortunately, either the boss was so romantically dense that it went right over her head or she did us both a favor and just ignored my screw-up. “Cloud Kicker. What’s up?” Geez, the boss sounded really out of it.
“I was looking for Derpy.” I frowned and tried to look over the boss’ shoulder into the house in the hopes of getting an eyeful of certain tasty little muffin. “Say, what’s got you over here anyway? Blossom and I have the weather handled, so we don’t need her for weather duty. You just hanging out?”
“I wish.”
Well. That wasn’t cryptic at all. Something about how she said left me with a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, like everything was about to go terribly wrong. “What’s going on, boss?”
The boss sighed, and for the first time I noticed just how out of it she looked. Her mane was everywhere (well, moreso than normal), and her eyes looked way too old to be on somepony who was my age. She looked tired. Used up. Burned out. “I – I’m keeping an eye on Derpy’s kids while she’s in the hospital.”
The hospital? Alright, that definitely didn’t sound good, especially not when the boss looked like death warmed over. I tried to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in my throat. “How bad is it?”
“Bad.” The way she said that word made it feel like a kick to gut.
Merciful Celestia, how long had Derpy been sick? I wanted to smack myself for not noticing that something was wrong with her sooner. For all her faults, Derpy was the most devoted mother I had ever seen; the few times we’d been assigned to the same weather team, her kids were always at the top of her list of things to talk about. I’d passed Sparkler as she walked Dinky to Ponyville Elementary a few times over the last month, but I never thought twice about the fact that Derpy wasn’t walking her kids to school anymore.
Before I could ask for details, Dinky came running up to the two of us, a picture of youthful innocence. “Hi Miss Cloud Kicker!” The filly was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. “Mommy made a necklace for me! Isn’t it pretty?”
I opened my mouth to gently brush her off when I saw what she was holding out to me.
It was a pinfeather. Derpy’s pinfeather.
I don’t remember if I closed my mouth or not; I just looked at the boss, feverishly hoping that she would tell me something different. Instead, she just nodded.
“That’s – very pretty, Dinky.” I fought to keep my voice level and my legs steady. “When did you get it?”
“Just today!” the young filly said, smiling obviously. “Miss Rarity helped Mommy make one for me – and one for Sparkler too!”
“It’s very pretty,” I said again. She didn’t know ... Celestia, how could she know? Even if she were a pegasus, she shouldn’t be old enough to know what it meant. Dinky was barely a schoolfilly, and blissfully ignorant of the meaning wrapped up in that heirloom. For her, it was nothing more than a pretty little bauble.
“Hey, Miss Cloud Kicker!” Dinky grinned up at me with innocent enthusiasm. “Wanna play some Battle Clouds with me? I’m tired of playing Rainbow Dash; she always loses!” She leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, “I think it’s ‘cause she never moves her cumulo- cumu- her big thunder cloud.”
As ridiculous as that sounds, hearing that made just how bad things were hit a little bit harder. The boss takes Battle Clouds seriously. Well, she takes just about anything competitive seriously, but when it comes to Battle Clouds, she will utterly destroy anypony that plays her. Hay, from what I heard back when she was just another cloud pusher, she would stake jobs on a game of Battle Clouds. It got to the point where the old weather manager had to ban gambling on Battle Clouds games because Rainbow was getting free rides.
If she was willing to drag her pride through the dirt just to put a little smile on that kid’s face ... I think that made the whole thing seem a little more ... real than it had before.
At Dinky’s insistence, I sat down for a game of Battle Clouds against her. I let her win the first round after a token-effort, but immediately insisted on making it best two-out-of-three. For the second round I didn’t hold back. The kid gave me a tougher match than I’d expected, but at the end I pulled off win. From the look on the boss’ face, you’d think I’d gone up to Fluttershy and kicked her. It was all part of the plan though. For the third round I gave Dinky a tough match, but made sure she always had just a tiny edge over me. She still won, but I made her believe she’d earned that victory. The hardest part of throwing a fight is managing to lose while making it look like you were doing your darndest to win.
It was worth the effort though, just to see the smile on Dinky’s face when she finally beat me.
It was well after visiting hours when I got to the hospital. This wasn’t exactly the kind of visit I could make while the hospital was full of other ponies.
Besides, showing up during visiting hours would mean showing up while her kids were around.
Redheart was at the front desk when I walked through the door. “Cloud Kicker. Please tell me you’re not here because you found an odd rash on your–”
“What? No! I’m clean!” Seriously, what the hay would give her that idea? Before I could start building up any righteous indignation, I remembered just why I had come here. “I’m here to see Derpy.”
“Oh.” Redheart sank down to the floor, like a balloon that suddenly had all the helium let out of it. “Visiting hours are –” She cut herself off with a shake of her head. “No, never mind that. Of course you can see her.”
Oh Luna. When a hospital starts ignoring the visiting hours rules it usually means that the patient is...
Redheart walked me to Derpy’s room. Neither one of us said anything on the way there. What was there to say?
Once we were standing outside the door to Derpy’s room, I finally spoke up. “Um – Redheart? Could you give Derpy and me some privacy?”
“Of course. I’ll be right out here if you need anything.”
I nervously licked my lips. “We’re – we’re gonna need a bit more privacy than that, Redheart.”
“What do you –” She finally put it together. “No. Absolutely not. Are you insane?”
“It’s not–” I stopped, took a deep breath, and tried to figure out how to explain it. “It’s not about me. It’s about her. I just wanna – I just wanna give her one last bit of happiness before – before she...” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
For a long moment, Redheart just looked at me. Then, very slowly, she nodded. “Her wings are going to be very sensitive. Her whole body will, really. If you’re not careful you’ll ... be gentle.”
I sighed. “Yeah. I will.”
Redheart cleared the floor for us, so we’d have all the privacy we needed. It was just Derpy and me. I walked up to the door, and hesitantly pushed it open.
I barely managed to stop myself from gasping in shock when I saw her. Derpy’s mane was gone. Just ... gone. I couldn’t tell from the blanket draped across her, but I was pretty sure her tail was gone too. Her wings only had about half their feathers left in them; even if she had the strength for it, there was no way she could fly on them. To a pegasus, not being able to fly is like being...
She looked weak. So weak.
“Hey there, Derpy.” I tried to sound keep my tone casual, but it was impossible to hide how much it hurt seeing her like that.
“Cloud Kicker?” I’m not sure if I woke her up or not. I hoped I didn’t.
“Yeah.” I struggled to think of what I was supposed to say in a situation like this. It’s ... nothing I’d ever been through before had prepared me to deal with this kind of thing. Death. Hay, she was so young. We were all still so young. How could such a thing be happening? And to her of all ponies? I always figured I’d be the first one to go, with how crazy I lived my life. Instead it was the loving mother with two kids, one of whom she’d adopted only a few years ago. How the flying feather is that fair?
“This ... it’s really happening?” Celestia, I sounded like an idiot.
“Yeah. It is.” The way she said it sounded so ... final. But then, I guess it was.
“Derpy, I...” What did I want? I guess I wanted to say goodbye. The only way I could.
I made sure the door was shut, and locked it behind me. Then I pulled the curtains, and stepped up to the bed. “Derpy ... you are so beautiful.” Celestia, was that really the best I could come up with? So much for me and my irresistible charm.
She gave a weak, bitter little laugh at that.
“Derpy, there’s more to beauty than looks. Of all the ponies I’ve ever known, you’ve always been the most ... the most ...” I couldn’t talk; I was choking up, and it was taking everything I had not to cry. I fell back on my old habits; right now, it was all I could manage. “I’m here to give you one last bang, okay?” I forced myself to give her a cocky grin. “I brought a muffin you’ll like.”
“Muffins,” she murmured with a dry laugh.
As I slipped the covers off of her, I saw I was right about her tail. It was mostly gone too, just a few strands of hair on a fleshy stub.
I had been worried about noise. It was silly of me, in hindsight. Even at the height of things, she could barely breathe out more than a strained, heaving gasp. I gave her room to spread out her wings, but they barely fluttered from her back. It hurt seeing her like that, and it was worse feeling it. Celestia, she barely moved at all.
“Cloud Kicker,” she gasped out weakly as she tried to wrap a hoof around me. “I’m sorry ... I can’t...”
I very gently pushed her hoof back down. “Derpy. You don’t have to ... just relax. I’ll handle everything.” Despite what I told her she tried to do her part, bless her. Even now, she really was a complete sweetheart. I was suddenly fighting tears again. I couldn’t cry. Not yet.
I laid with her afterwards, just the two of us on a too-small hospital bed. She wrapped a forehoof around me, and I felt her breathing far shallower than I’d ever felt in another pony (even after working my magic). I stroked her head, feeling the bumps of hair where her mane once flowed. She looked at me, and I saw that her left eye had yet to come back down all the way.
“Cloud Kicker?” She tightened her grip around me just the tiniest bit. “How long will you stay?”
I pulled her in a little closer. “As long as you want me to.”
“But ... you don’t stay.” It was true. Whenever we’d arranged our little get-togethers in the past, I’d always slipped out during the night to save her from having to explain to her kids why I was there in the morning.
I leaned forward and gently kissed her. “I do now.”
Derpy nuzzled in closer. “Cloud Kicker? Do you – Was there ever a chance that we could’ve been ... more?”
I gave a sad, empty laugh at that. “It’s a nice idea, but really? Can you see me taking care of kids? Besides, ya can’t keep this mare out of the game. I’d cheat on you.”
Derpy smiled at me. “No you wouldn’t.”
I sighed. “No I wouldn’t.” I guess I just didn’t want her thinking about what could’ve been. It seemed cruel, to leave her with those kinds of thoughts. Regrets. This wasn’t the time for them. That’s not why I came here.
I held her for a long moment, as I felt my self-control finally crumbling. “It’s not fair!” I whimpered as the tears started.
Derpy began softly stroking my mane, like a mother comforting a filly. Why was I the one getting comforted? She was the one who was – was...
I held her until I sobbed myself dry. Once I finally managed to regain my composure, I apologized. “I’m sorry. I came here to comfort you, and instead I –”
“It’s okay sweetie.” Derpy held me close. “It’s okay.”
For a long time we stayed like that. We didn’t talk. We didn’t do anything. We just held each other.
“Cloud Kicker?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, Derpy. Thank you. For everything” I leaned forward and kissed her, and I felt her strain to return it.
She slipped away right then. No mess, no fuss, not even a final breath. Just a sudden lack of pressure against my lips. Her golden eyes were dulled to the world, the left one still rolling up into her head. I debated closing them, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead I held onto her, feeling the heat – the life – slowly leaving her body. I held on tighter, trying to keep her warm. As long as she was still warm, I could fool myself into believing that she was just sleeping.
Despite my best efforts, her body slowly grew colder. I felt like I should be crying, but by this point I was beyond tears. I kissed her cold lips one last time and got out of the bed. I reached up and slowly began switching off the monitors that were over her bed. Screen by screen, the room grew darker
As I walked out of the room, I took one last look back at the amazing pegasus mare. That goofy wall-eyed grin, her dangerous obsession with muffins, her spectacular failures as a weathermare, her enthusiastic stories about her girls. I was gonna miss them.
I was gonna miss her.
“Goodbye, Derpy."
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Before someone asks this is not – and will never be – part of the canon for "The Life and Times of a Winning Pony." It's an alternate continuity story.
This was a tough story to write. But a good one.
756211>>756291 Eh... all due to respect? I mean, it was well it was just...
Well, From the Mouths of Fillies was just an emotional punch to the gut. It made me feel. It made me want to go to my mom and give her a big hug.
But... this... I dunno man, I felt like it just wasn't there. Also, the romantic bit with Derpy was just... wierd. Especially since she died like immedietly right after.
Nice job to both of you, but the star goes to Comma.
A bit unlike your usual style, but you do it well.
LOL
What?! No alternative ending yet? Heresy!
Eh, I kinda have to agree with Dawnscroll. This seems kinda inappropriate.
Why would you want to kill derpy? She was strange but in the movies her heart was pure. She reminds me of Minty from a very minty Christmas. If you don't know the movie is on YouTube. Just type the title above and you'll see what I mean. This story made me cry a little bit because a version of the same thing happened with my grandfather and my family. We went to visit him and he died a couple hours later. We were hit pretty hard with this news and another time I had s friend die and I wasn't there to say goodbye. This hurt me because the next time I saw him was at the viewing. I am not a very emotional person but things like these seem to hurt me moreso than other people I have met.
In This River - Black Label Society
CloudKicker? This cannot be a coincidence.
[youtube=RpjmvYbAvhc]
758546
Yeah, taking my writing outside of it's usual was part of the appeal. That, putting Cloud Kicker into a very different type of situation from what we see in Winning Pony. Taking a character outside of their normal comfort zone is always an interesting experience. There were actually one or two times during the writing process where Cloud Kicker said/did something I hadn't expected and I had stop and think about why she would do that. It added some new dimensions to the character.
758350
Kinda have to agree that Comma's half of the collaboration hits a bit harder: A child losing her mom is naturally going to be a lot more painful than Cloud Kicker losing what amounts to a Friend with Benefits.
Well, this was... weird.
Maybe I'm not versed enough in the fanon... is Derpy and CC a common pairing?
So, they had sex? I get you were trying to be subtle and keep a PG rating but the way you danced around the subject was... strange.
It was well-written but rather than being sad, I'm really not sure how to feel. I guess I don't find the pairing, or the characters, or the situation very believable. From a technical perspective it's a good story, but it just didn't move me.
787120
As far as I know, I'm the only person who's ever written Derpy/Cloud Kicker.
I do not drink, nor do I condone the consumption of such recreational poisons. It is a rule with me.
...and apparently, you are actively trying to make me BREAK that rule.
May I do a reading of this? I already did a reading of From the Mouths of Fillies.
758350 759562 787120 795071 It could have been worse.
(Dinky walks in) "What are you doing to Mommy?"
"CPR?"
788745
That sounds awesome. Thanks.
The story was good but I felt like there was really no connection between DITZY and Cloud Kicker, not to mention
the romance stuff was a bit awkward.... "I'm here to give you one last bang, okay"..... just a little bit wierd
Poor Derpy.
I had to look up what a pinfeather was, that's sad. Not as sad as the rest of the story, but pretty sad nonetheless.
I have to admit it, I didn't have manly tears. I bawled like a child.
Rather touching, and in a way, its so easy to miss something. CK stayed prettymuch in char for the char you have built around her, wich I found rather nice. She wanted to give Derpy something, and the only thing she could think of that would be from her, that Derpy would be able to take with her, was love and a momant of pleasure. Suprised the nurse alowed it, but, I understand why CK would do that.
This story just raped my emotions. Literally. This story tied me to a table, forcefed me lemonade, then clamped my urethra shut. I don't even know why. I guess it take me back to that same emotional place I was when I wrote the earlier chapters of Let the Bass Ring. I mean, just that one chapter was hard for me to write. I could read the comments on it, but I never knew how they felt until now. Just like Alyeskabird said, you managed to keep CK in character while she was going through such an emotional rapefest. (That's the best term I can think of atm) It kind of shows CK's strong personality that you've exhibited her having through Life and Times, which by the way I love. I give this five fluttercries out of five.
Saying goodbye. Why is it sad? Makes us remember the good times we've had...
You made me cry and though that's not as rare as it use to be, it still is very special. Cloudkicker dealt with this the only way she knew how and it was something very special. Those who are saying this was inappropriate don't grasp the full scope of what any relationship can be. It wasn't fun reading this. Instead, it was slow plod to an inevitable end, but the sun was setting in the late evening and the apple petals were falling. It was peaceful and sweet. It felt real. This was Cloudkicker, and that was Derpy Whooves. Although I cannot say I could bear to have this as the cannon, a bit of play and well done is always welcome. I thank you, and I am looking forward to the next chapter of "The Life and Times of a Winning Pony."
You Celestia @^&$ed, F*#!%$@ Cold-Hearted B*!@#.
thumbs up and fav'd.
...
...
They Banged, Ok?
865620
I actually listened to that song while writing the story.
Have to say I found this really touching. (and I'm out of long texts for today) Especially the intimate part, while it's something I think not many seem to consider, I personally think it'd be something many would appreciate at such time and while it was beautifully censored at the right time, I can just imagine what was done, and that it was likely one of the few, or ever times CC didn't get "anything" back, or even wanted it. And also, that she actually beat Dinky was a nice "tactical touch". If she's only always win with little effort, it'd be a bit boring for most children. So yeah, combined, these two did a really good work.
756211 Thank Luna for that, this'd just about kill me if it WERE canon.
Still, BEAUTIFULLY written and superbly executed.
To think I held off reading this because I couldn't bare to read Derpy dying.... 
My bad, seriously my bad. 
It was good, except the whole 'one last bang' thing. It seemed really out of place, and it would have been far more dramatic and emotional and all if Cloud Kicker had taken the thing seriously, as more of a 'sex is my thing but this is more important' than 'This is a serious situation. I'll have sex with a dying mare.'
Well, I just read this, From the Mouths of Fillies, and Changes all at once. If anyone needs me, I am going to be sobbing over in the corner. Peace.
This fits in with changes
985372
Thank you.
Lies! No one is that awesome...NO ONE!....except you...You win, but you know what? We win too...cause you made us feel feelings.
Change the story picture - it makes her more exasperated than sad
1381011
I think she looks sad, but if you know of a better picture...
1381139
Nothing better than you are already using, I am afraid. I have done some searching, but Cloud Kicker just isn't a pony to be sad. The best sad pic of her I could find was the one you are already using for the sequel.
In hindsight, my previous comment sounds more blunt than it is polite (or intended). I apologize.
Definitely a tragic way to watch someone die while with them. Though kinda conflicted with the way Cloud Kicker goes about it.
This story made me hurt inside. It was a really well thought out, really well done story. And they way you ended it made me so sad that I just died a little inside. It was excellently worded, greatly phrased, and I actually couldn't find a single spelling error! I really like stories like this, they keep the reader into the story, leading them for a ride of E-motions. See what I did there? Anyways, great story, keep up the good work!
For the most part, I was able to read through this just fine. The couple of lines alluding to the storyline of Life and Times have a bit of a punch to them, but nothing to get worked up over. Then I got to the last sentence. Those two words, combined with having read 'From the Mouths of Fillies' and 'The life and Times' stories, they were a complete kick to the emotional pills.
Good work to both you and Comma, and I'd like to recommend that anyone reading this story reads the other ones first. Then you'll get a feel for what it truly is.
I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.
..... too late.
And manly tears were shed that day.
Chengar... you are my favorite fanfic author. Never stop being awesome!
idk about you... but now that just makes me awkward where Dinky is sitting when he mom died when comme-K wrote. Then again it depends where one imagine where the filly is sitting...
all and all it was okay :)
just awkward, I like the beginning more.
I haven't really cried over a fanfiction since I read My Little Dashie(I guess it made me immune or something), but this was definitely one of the ones that came close... Right in the feels, man. Right in the feels. Great job.
Feels
It took me this long to finally read this, and I have to say it hit and hurt. If you haven't lost someone - however distant - you can't write it properly.
If you haven't, then your empathy dial is set to 11 and broken off, 'cause you can't to this properly any other way.
Me 'at's off ta ya, Guv.
My Little Dashie broke me.
Buying tears! $3000 a gallon!
Ewww. (Borderline) necrophilia.
(Banging someone in the I.C. Unit in a hospice ward is 5/6ths the way there).
The story was touching, but the whole sex bit at the end really ruined the whole thing. It really felt jarring and contrived. Sex would be the last thing on my mind if I was in the I.C.U. with my significant other as he was breathing his last.
I like the idea of the physical contact and intimacy in the final moments, but IMHO sex was totally the wrong way to do it. Maybe if she instead cradled Derpy in her forehooves like foal? That way you get the tender feels without the squicky 'ick' factor.
Oh well. c'est la vie (c'est la mort?)
2534510 I’d argue that it’s very much in keeping with Cloud Kicker’s character to have sex with Derpy here. Sex is the way she deals with things, the way she relates to the world. It is squicky, but she honestly believes that she’s giving her dyeing friend a gift--a gift that conveniently lets Cloud Kicker focus on something other than her own grief for a few minutes.
I’m of the opinion that there’s some pretty profound pathology that inflicts itself on most of Cloud Kicker’s relationships. You or I wouldn’t go to an ICU to give a person ‘one last bang,’--I don’t think most people would--but it probably didn’t hurt anything, and in a twisted, Cloud Kicker-y sort of way, it’s almost
touching...er...heartwarming.Cloud Kicker comforting Derpy in the only way she knows how... Oh gosh I just died inside.
Well that was more than a little messed up.
Oh Cloud Kicker.