• Member Since 25th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen October 16th

Anonymous Assassin

Comments ( 59 )

A very solid short story. A wonderful interaction between a mother and a daughter. Cloud Kicker was very cute.

One minor thing to keep track of is to make sure to capitalize words like mommy and daddy when they are used in place of the persons name.

Thanks for the support and advice, it really means a lot. I am just happy to be able to make a contribution to the Winningverse. I have really enjoyed reading all of the awesome stories surrounding the winning pony and her antics, and it's nice to be a part of that in some small way.

Nice little story, and filly-Cloud is just too cute.

Thanks! I appreciate all the help and support I've gotten from the Winningverse crew, you guys are awesome!

This was just a sweet short story that added a bit to CK's character. Then I remembered that Nimbus was dead in the Winningverse, and I re-read it. In that light it really takes on a much more bittersweet tone.


This was my commemoration to her mother in a way. Also, I couldn't resist writing a story to go with that awesome art by Inuhoshi... It had to be done.

Well I think you did her proud

Comment posted by Anonymous Assassin deleted May 22nd, 2013


That was what I was going for... I'm glad you liked it!:twilightsmile:

It's so happy that it made me sad.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us, very much enjoyed it!

Ha! Shameless use of a foal for the D'aww's, Go! :pinkiehappy:
Though I hear that's considered a war crime in some countries. Like breakfast muffin based seduction.

I admit to a wee bit of skimming, because... well... nothing really happens. It's literally just a straight recounting of an entirely normal event. But, that being said, like 2613273 mentioned, it really makes the whole death of Nimbus much, more more painful. It gives us a view of her when she was actually being an okay mother, and not the nasty-minded changeling. We get a slice of a loving, normal relationship. Just... ouch. :fluttercry:

I kinda wish we'd gotten a little story like this before her death. Or even before her seeming treason. T'would have opened out hearts to a proper, brutal feel-stabbing.

Ugh, too cute! :twilightsmile:

Yep, it's 'D'awwww' time. :yay:

not sure if to :yay: or :fluttercry:

Adorable little fic. Loved the interaction.

2594090 Was very cute? I would change that tense if I had written that. :rainbowkiss:

Cute but bittersweet story when you've read the main story.

That's exactly what I was thinking the entire time.

Well done. A good read and a fine addition to the Cloud Kicker month.

Cloud kicker cocked her head with a confused look. "What do you mean?"


The choice is your's and it starts here, today.


Wow, especially coming with her mother's death this is a truly touching and beautifully written piece. Bravo.


Oops... Thanks!

Edit:Fixed! I Thought I got it all... My baaaad!:derpytongue2:

The true daws are now unleashed. :rainbowkiss:

"Seeing" what was related to the photo had a bittersweet tang to it. We know what's coming, but it's wonderful to see Cloud and Nimbus in that time-frame.
Definitely a Winning addition. :eeyup:
Beyond D'awwww, IMO.

Okay, this is really sad, considering Nimbus's death and its circumstances.
It probably didn't help that I was listening to "Sweet Child O' Mine" while reading.

2613814 Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, I'm glad you liked it!

2613914 Weaponized sex-muffins are much worse! And yeah, this story is exactly as described; Cloud Kicker's first day of wing-blade training. Not exciting at all, but I felt that it had to be done. I blame that awesome picture...

2614063 Objective complete: Weaponize cuteness.

2614109 I'd say both :yay:and:fluttercry: either way I'm glad you enjoyed it!

2614414>>2614823>>2615898 Yeah, it definitely plays on Nimbus's death. I felt like she deserved something extra, I guess this is kind of like her eulogy in a way...

2616310 Glad you found it D'aww-worthy:twilightsmile:


Definitely a Winning addition.

I see what you did there!:rainbowwild:

2617043 That song must have multiplied the effect...

Thanks for all the faves and comments everyone, I'm so happy you all liked the story!:pinkiehappy:
I never expected it to go over this well...

2617396 Dude you will make a fine addition to the Winning-verse :yay: :eeyup:

I'll need a lot of practice before I can even begin to be write like Ponibius, Chengar Quordath, and CommaKazie... lots

2617488 Dude your getting there :twilightsmile:

I will eventually... like I said, I just need practice!

2617578 And this is certainly bringing you on its way keep it up!


>> Verdigris

Definitely a Winning addition.

I see what you did there!:rainbowwild:

You were supposed to. :pinkiehappy:

Who would have thought combat training could be so adorable. :pinkiehappy:


I know, right? Who knew deadly pegasus warriors could be so cute...


"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were fighting an entire army all by yourself."

Hmn. Foreshadowing for the upcoming Canterlot invasion, perhaps?

"I-I don't know Mommy, I don't wanna fight you! We're on the same side, and-and I don't want to hurt you!"

no, its alright, i didn't need that organ that loves to pump blood through my veins or anything

(side note: there needs to be a filly dinky vs 'lula vs cloud kicker cute off NOW :pinkiehappy:)

This... This was just so full of d'awww that my heart and ribcage melted, grew back, melted once more, grew back again and got stuck in an infinite loop. And that ending... Beautiful short thing you gave us, thank you :heart:

Nimbus bent down and planted a gentle kiss on little Cloud's forehead. In an extremely rare show of emotion for the perpetually stoic guardspony, she looked down upon her daughter with misty eyes and said, "I love you so much Cloud. You are the best gift I have ever been given... and I am truly blessed to have you as my daughter."

Cloud looked up at her and gave her a peck on the nose. She jumped up and latched her forelegs around her mother's neck, then whispered in her ear, "I love you too, Mommy."

I present to you Feels of Approval

A thought has just occurred to me. This was adorable and heartwarming (or heartwrenching, depending on your point of view). But how exactly is it a "Comedy"?

Comedy tag? I don't see any comedy tag here...

I was immensely happy with your story...until I turned sad when I remembered what happened to nimbus.:fluttercry:

Really glad you liked it! I meant for it to be sort of a bitter-sweet feel, what with the untimely demise of Nimbus and all...

Really sweet one-shot, especially for the Winningverse! Well-written and had that nice balance of details and emotional moments. Just got through Ch. 15 of "Winning Pony" myself but I've been expecting the worst for Nimbus since Ch. 12 (didn't read any spoilers or anything, signs were just there), so this was an especially bittersweet, heart-wrenching read for me. :fluttercry: Thank you again for a high-quality, well-written read; it's stories like this that help me to improve and learn what to employ in my own writing, so I thank you very much for that and hope to see more work from you in the future! :twilightsmile:


Glad you liked it! I'm planning more short stories in the future, none of them directly related to the Winningverse, but they all have a little shout out to Cloud Kicker. If you aren't scared of a bit of adult themed humor and some adult scenes then check out:
Wonderbolt Academy.:rainbowdetermined2:

>>Brony Assassin

Scared of adult humor? I've read through all of Winning Pony so far! :rainbowlaugh: And sadly I can now never look at muffins the same way again. :applecry: Also, if you'd like to check out what I've got so far in my fic sometime, I'm always looking for critical feedback, especially from authors. Not much so far, but I'm hoping it could eventually become something big. Time will tell, though. :twilightsmile:

>>Brony Assassin

Oh sure, sorry. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/79481/batmare-begins
*sigh* Wish I had better artwork (it's a far more serious fic than the pic would indicate), but there aren't too many of these pics out there. You know of any available artists of some talent or anyone who likes drawing this type of art?


Not particularly brony artists and not for free artists either... One of my best friend's sisters drew my avatar pic, she is pretty amazing... But she doesn't do digital artwork, she sticks with the old-fashioned method.

>>Brony Assassin

Well it was worth a shot. I'm in an uncomfortable position because an amazing artist on MLP Forums (who's also really nice) already agreed rather excitedly to do art for me, but it's been around two months since we contacted each other. Guess I might have to start looking around on the forums or FimFic soon for an artist. Well, hope you like the story! :twilightsmile:

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