• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Chengar Qordath


I write lots and lots of horse words; everything from comedy to drama. If you like what I write, please support me on Patreon.

Sequels1

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Shining Armor is an eager young officer in the Royal Guard, fresh out of the West Hoof Military Academy. When his mother asks him to help family friend Vinyl Scratch deal with an overenthusiastic admirer, he jumps at the chance to aid a damsel in distress. Perhaps he'd have second thought if he knew just how much of a mess he would be getting himself into...

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 82 )

This is superb. Do you know what this reminds me most of though? The Dresden Files. Magic, private investigation, fey, D&D, nerdiness, but most of all as they are the purest expression of your closing sentence. Truely, no good deed goes unpunished.

HA! I love it! A good story with drama, some fun, and an actual, decent twist at the end! Plus Shining Armor being clever!

10/10, fav'd & saved. Have a star and a like.

7397279

Well you'll be delighted to know that Chen's a big fan of the Dresden series, so a lot of his work is often inspired by it.

In fact, he's written a few crossovers with the Dresdenverse, so I strongly recommend you look those up too!

This was really well written, good job! :moustache:

Well, that was cute! Thanks for another fun little story, Chengar. :pinkiehappy:

Funny thought: if Mazes and Magi is Equestria's DnD, I'd love to see what Cards Against Equinity would be like...

As usual, great story, Chengar. You appeal to every kind of reader from across the board with your clever and unique blend of humor, romance, and drama. Keep the good fics coming! :twilightsmile:

there seems like there is something wronge about this musette pony.

technicaly he could have easily overpowered the muse by seeking out a more powerful fey, leprechaun, fairy, hobgoblin, hell if he'd taken the matter before titania herself she'd have easily labeled the deal as unfair and terminated it without cause, (even if she is a fey it's notable the fairy queen did not appreciate her underlings making deals with mortals who where not in there right mind as dieties sometimes take offense to this and interfere, and gods have more power then fairies)

7397782 Or brought it up with any of the other feylords.

Quite a good story.

Still... I can't help but wonder if this particular outcome was exactly what Musette wanted. I found her first 'Mazes and Magi' comment quite suspicious.

Well isn't Musette just a little bit to good to be true?

I can't help think this is a trap for shining given how important his family are you'd think he'd be drowning in gold-diggers

Plus Octy doesn't really seem the stalker type.

7397782 7397849
Perhaps, but getting help from another fey who outranked Musette would mean getting more deeply entangled with the fey and would risk putting himself in an even worse position. After all, that conversation could easily end with Shining being told "Of course I'll do you the favor of helping resolve this situation. And you, of course, will do me a favor in turn when the time comes."

This one was a lot of fun, and I quite liked Shining Armor's point of view throughout. I do have to wonder if Chrysalis is at all related to Musette. Shining does seem to draw the attentions of some rather extraordinary women, although admittedly less of Cadance's attention than he would like, so far. I wonder if Musette could help with that...

Fantastic work, I enjoyed the whole thing

Really interesting. You combined a lot of things really well.

Sure, I was ninety percent sure Octavia was perfectly sane, but that still meant there was a ten percent chance I might wake up one night to find her in my bedroom smearing cream cheese over me.

I think you'd have to ask her very nicely to do that, probably flowers and a night out as well.

Shining, you went and asked your Mom for help! Can you be any more embarrassing?

“Relax, Mom.” I took a deep breath and solemnly nodded. “I know what I’m doing. And don’t worry, I’m not going to sacrifice myself. It’s gonna be somepony else: Sir Noble Braveheart, a high-ranking Knight Palatine in the Order of Sol Invictus. One of the mightiest and purest soldiers in all the world. Surely he’s worth more than a DJ?”

Whoa Shining, come on, Vinyl's just a DJ (and your half sister) but Braveheart, he's at least level 15, that's years of work levelling him, probably so prestige classes as well.

7398071

Interesting idea. Maybe Chrysalis heard about Shining though the fay network from Musette. Although Winningverse Changlings don't seem to be fay creatures.

This was a nice, short and sweet story, that didn't turn out quite like I'd thought. I'm glad there was a happy ending for everyone except for Shiny :raritywink:, and the twist at the end was really lovely. A piece of art, huh. Very clever.

I do wonder how much of the situation they explained to Vinyl, as it seems Musette was still living with her at the end but had the tracking bracelet, which had to be explained in some way.

Thanks Chengar, I quite enjoyed this one.

I find it funny that before I started reading this I pondered if there was any news about Butcher's next book. And now I'm sitting here and went "You know, that's something Harry would think of. If he was actually smart." Why must things I want take time to make.

...and once again, RPGs save the day. :pinkiehappy:

Musette's not being very subtle here.

...And I can't help but notice that Musette is the only one who seems to have actually noticed the supposed problem with Octavia.

TDR

I rather liked this. Issues with Fey creatures indeed.

As far as features ... earth pony, light grey coat, dark grey mane, purple eyes.

i smell taviscratch

Chengar, I have to say you are the most reliably excellent author on this site.

Set

Musette seems like shes jealous of octi, so i think the dead rat part was fake.

Set

7398260 but vinyl is a lvl 17 DJ, which is equal to a lvl 15 Royal Guard.

Set

Great story, not sure if he things you said about fey are true or turned kid friendly for mlp, but still great story.

7399521

Ha, she wishes, vinyl probably isn't much above level 10, she just lucked out with her basic stats. :pinkiehappy:

This was a really interesting little short. I hope we visit these characters again, the presence of a fey in the group would create some neat interplay.

Wait...

As far as features ... earth pony, light grey coat, dark grey mane, purple eyes.

Octavia? :pinkiegasp:

A very nice little short story. Would be interesting to see a '2 years later' chapter as like a bonus to see how everything turned out. :pinkiesmile:

Hmn. Yeah, I don't trust this Musette for an instant, especially since the stalker she is reporting is apparently Octavia.

Mazes and Magi? Really? I don't understand why we need a new name for pony D&D when the side canon source of Shining having a gaming group has already supplied the O&O option.

Awesome story, very entertaining. Though the ending seemed a tad... Open ended. Is there room for a sequel? A story with Shining struggling between Cadence and Musette sounds great.:twilightsheepish:

It all started off so simply. Mom asked me to do a favor for a family friend, and I agreed because ... well, everything at home goes a lot smoother if Mom’s happy.

tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.Mcbc1be267998dcbf231b74ada667fa03o0&w=244&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0&r=0

I did the only thing I could to win (or at least survive) the discussion: “You’re right. Sorry.” I wasn’t even sure what she was right about, but she was definitely right about it.

:ajsmug: "You can always have the last word in an argument, as long as it's 'yes dear'."

On top of that, the dance floor was a mass of wildly thrashing bodies that made me wonder if they’d all been infected with the Sparkle Family Dancing Curse.

Oh man, I hope that's the curse from the end of Midnight Begins, that's one of my favorite theories hanging over from that story.

Ah ha ha, I knew I was right to be suspicious about 'Musette'.

I’d probably try to use the lie thing first, since cold iron would disrupt my magic. Needless to say, there’d been quite a bit of speculation on the fact that cold iron was both toxic to fey and disrupted unicorn magic. I vaguely recalled hearing a theory that unicorns had started off as some sort of fey/pony crossbreed, or as a group of ponies that somehow stole fey magic. Twiley would probably know a whole lot more about it.

Well, a theory along those lines was certainly the first place my mind went.

Hahaha, archmage mom backup. I particularly like how involved she is in protecting Vinyl.

“Vinyl doesn’t really need to know about all this, does she?” Musette stared up at me with sad eyes that reminded me of Twiley begging for a new book. “After all, think about what it could do to her confidence as an artist if she realizes I was inspiring her all this time. Besides...” Her eyes flicked down to the floor. “I’d ... I’d rather she didn’t know, is all.”

Huh, and now I feel kind of bad for her.

Okay, less sad now.

“Relax, Mom.” I took a deep breath and solemnly nodded. “I know what I’m doing. And don’t worry, I’m not going to sacrifice myself. It’s gonna be somepony else: Sir Noble Braveheart, a high-ranking Knight Palatine in the Order of Sol Invictus. One of the mightiest and purest soldiers in all the world. Surely he’s worth more than a DJ?”

Bwhahahahaha! I can see where this is going.

Yeah, that's about what I figured.

She smirked at me. “You’re right, it was. You gave me piece of art, something you created with your heart and soul. And now it belongs to me. That’s worth far more than a life.”

So in the end it really isn't a bad deal for either party, nice.

She ruffled my mane playfully. “Look at my little colt, all grown up and chasing after fey and alicorns. You’ve certainly set your sights high, Shiny.”

Hahaha!

Fun story, and a really interesting addition to the 'verse. Definitely makes me wonder if it's partly intended to set up some character development and world-building for future use. Shining and potentially other members of his family having a friendly association with a muse is kind of a major thing, though it really might just be par for the course for them.

Sounds like Twily is a solid Munchkin and Cadence is a Real Roleplayer.

The Sparkle Family seems to exist as a focus for the Ancient Chinese Curse: 'May You Live In Interesting Times'.

Omg it's been years since I first pointed it out but even after all this time you still haven't fixed your avatar

anyways brb reading this

but if I come back to see that your avatar is still stretched vertically, you and I are going to have a very serious talk, young man

Edit: I just noticed that even the typography in your cover art is stretched

DO YOU LIVE TO TORMENT ME SIR OR MADAM

Seriously I would sacrifice my second born daughter for the chance to go in and redo the typography in all your cover art

She was a professional musician, so it was bound to be good.

:rainbowlaugh: Tempting fate there Shining ...

I'm thinking Musette is the only one with a problem about "mystery mare" (i.e., Octavia) being around. Actually, Musette really strikes me as one of those fey (leanashide?) who latched onto an artist and drove them to create great works, while draining their life away ...

Or she could just be an excessively jealous pony ...

... Man now I realllly want to read the story from Musettes perspective, of the Muse who accidentally befriended someone who she has made a deal to kill, and her desperation to find a way to get out of it... Manipulating the situation to make everyone happy.

I was pretty sure I’d been permanently deafened.

:rainbowlaugh:

Sparkle Family Dancing Curse

So, it's not just Twilight then :pinkiehappy:

Shining Armor, defender of the innocent, protector of the weak and intimidator of stalker-mares. My mom would be so proud right now.

:rainbowlaugh:

Once Mom was done tidying up my uniform, I was ready to face the potential killer monster. My life is weird sometimes.
Okay, all the time.

:rainbowlaugh:

you don’t even want to know whom we’re beholden to

Well, now I do! Queen Mab? The Host? The Lord of the Wild Hunt? (Wrong on all accounts, aren't I?)

I shook her hoof. Now all that was left was arranging the sacrifice.

Clever, Shining, very clever :twilightsmile:

“Look at my little colt, all grown up and chasing after fey and alicorns. You’ve certainly set your sights high, Shiny.”

:rainbowlaugh:

7397849 Actually, dealing with any of the High Fey (even the "good" ones like Titania) is risking digging your own grave. They don't really think like we do, they operate very heavily on the "Let The Buyer Beware" principal, they take offense easily, and they are very fond of disproportionate retribution.

Hah, well that was certainly a pretty good read.
The moment Shining shining made his offer though I knew it was a fictional character. Still, it was amusing.
And hey, a 'monster' which turned out not to be a monster at all, but actually a decent being. Even though the circumstances were pretty unfortunate.
Still, all went better than expected. And Musette did have a point that what she got had a higher value to her than an actual of someone else.

Interesting very interesting,our mistery mare does sound a lot like octavia(except that she has a black mane unless thats a really dark shade of gray)

7402397 Depends on the type of fey though.. A monaciello is a mischievous yet kind fey that pulls pranks on the rich and snobbish, and provides treasure to those in need, while a redcap is well... A redcap. So yeah..

Took me until the epilogue to twig what he'd done.

Nice, Shiny, nice.



Clearly, though, one of the Things That Need To Be Done at somepoint is for somepony to go and Have A Word with the whoever-is-in-charge of the ey and tell them to, no, seriously, knock it off, we mean it or we will go right out and fetch Derpy, bring her to the centre of your realm and tell her to try not to break anything.

And fifteen minutes, later, we'll be waiting for you to see reason, miladdo/milasse.

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