• Member Since 29th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

scifipony


Published science fiction author and fine art photographer. Admin for Songbird Serenade Group.

Sequels1

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Starlight Glimmer's past and future collide in Canterlot a few years before the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration. Still bruised by the loss of Sunburst, runaway Starlight Glimmer tries to forget her recent past at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns but the crimes of that past and Celestia's original protégé, Sunset Shimmer, make that difficult. What happens will change Equestria forever.


Sunset Shimmer Goes to Hell is a sequel (mostly) to this novel from Sunset Shimmer's point of view. The Forgiving Lesson is a sequel to The Crystalling and this novel.


Image (c)2016 by Riakoh-Illust, commissioned for this story. (Click source to see final artwork.)


¡Muchas gracias! to DoContra for his heroic work as a pre-reader.

Chapters (35)
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Comments ( 38 )

Try moving this to above Chapter 1? I'm pretty sure that's possible...

This, I think, belongs in a blog post with the story itself tagged.

Something about non-content updates, though I've heard that rule is iffy...

7042500

Something about non-content updates, though I've heard that rule is iffy...

Thank you for your concern.

I decided to provide friendly content like many authors around FimFiction do by publishing additional "chapters" of marginal and explanatory material, in this case, like the forwards and appendixes in a paper novel. And rest assured, though the first chapter is only 1,400 words, the second one is coming real soon and the word count won't be low for long! I've completed the work—and it is novel length. I'm furiously cleaning up the drafts and working with my pre-reader. For the record, the rule states:

padding a story that’s fewer than 1,000 words with lyrics/spam/garbage/author notes is not acceptable

7042537

I still recommend moving both of them to above Chapter 1

Where can I find Riakoh-Illust? Does her do requests for free? How much did you pay?

7063376
Read the About the Cover chapter for links. I did pay for the commission, but I felt the price was very fair. Raiko was very responsive and created for me an image that shows Starlight as I see her, down to the smirk and set of the eyes, and the interesting burned off areas around her horn, in cartoon form. Accurate. You should have an idea of what this looks like by chapter three. Can't say what I paid out of respect for him and L since I could pay I felt I should help support and encourage his talent. You can always ask if he'll do free commissions, every artist needs ideas, or you could do a $1 patreon contribution which I think anypony ought to be able to afford.

I thought you said that this was "28 chapters and an epilogue". Looks like the chapter number has jumped up a couple since I read Chapter 7.

Sunset Shimmer walked up to me, looked into my eyes, then glanced about my head, obviously reevaluating the double star "shaved" into the fur of my forehead, which wasn't growing back yet.

If you haven't taken a close look at the cover art for this novel, do that now.

If you mean the purple (magenta?) and white one on her forehead, I was wondering what that's about.

It almost reminds me a bit of Twilight's, but with a different twist to it.

7078515 You are correct. It isn't so much added content but that I had written chapter 22, 23, 24, 23, 24, 25. Oops.
7078536 I do. And Starlight burned it into the fur on her forehead. Wonder what that says about magic and her magic in particular?

CWO

This feels like a love story between the author and Starlight Glimmer.

7141135 Starlight is a very interesting character, truly the first well rounded MLP villain. A love story, well... not so much. The character took over, as the best do, and I wrote what she told me. After I publish the final chapter, you might want to revisit this comment and tell me if you still think it applicable.

7042727 Thanks for your concern. After observing carefully for 19 chapters on this story, and consulting the story stats, I am pretty sure what I suspected is true that the first item in the chapter list is used to count the number of story views. (Hovering over the views icon will display a tool tip with the page views.) Putting stuff most users won't read could cause issues with the story popularity (not that this one is super popular, drat it). I am planning on verifying this with the admins. :scootangel:

7141490

What they could do is mark those as read if they don't want to read it, and then they don't have to worry about mistaking that "next" button for evidence that there is yet another new chapter.

CWO

7141446 You don't have to give "and she lives happily ever after" to a character to be considered too obsessed, too focused, or too enamored of them. The authors that write "badass Twilight" are examples of the too enamored with a character and "she always succeeds in the end" types.

I mean, you just stated that she is the most well rounded villain, but an opinion stated like it is a fact does not make it true. Despite that, I am somewhat inclined to agree, as the season opener was made more entertaining by her antics and interaction with Spike.

I suppose you are trying to fill the gap somewhat between "boohoo I lost my only friend because I couldn't figure out how to write him letters or even follow them out the door" and "I hypocritically use my special talent to take everyone else's away and rule a sort of really bizarre communism allegory". Sorry, that was my "I really hate Starlight" showing.

7144680

Sorry, that was my "I really hate Starlight" showing.

No problem with that, and I like what you are saying. If you've followed the story so far (or just go by the show canon), SG is all sorts of broken. It's her alternative view of reality that I find fascinating. Can a character be good and bad at the same time? What is good if not another's evil? I'm like to think I'm exploring that. Thanks for the comment, and feel free to add more.

You know, Sunset seems pretty inconsistent with her magical abilities. I mean in the first chapter she's shown as good enough to be a teacher's assistant in the most prestigious magical university in the country and able to conjure mass amounts of fire. She was originally presented as very powerful to the point where she was trusted to help handle a breakout from Tartarus with Celestia offscreen.
However when we actually see her interact with Starlight and the rest of the world, she seems pretty lackluster. To the point where I'm wondering if she ever really deserved to be in the university (much less being Celestia's Protege) in the first place. She has never once stood up for herself on any occasion, continues to be manhandled and jostled by Starlight multiple times only to laugh it off and she has now been ponynapped by the mafia with presumably little to no trouble at all (I mean COME ON, I understand she can't use force spells but when you can rain fire on your assailants who needs them?). I mean I wouldn't think she'd just randomly walk into the bad part of town then proceed to get led into some dark alley somewhere.

Also regarding the 'mafia'. They kidnapped Sunset Shimmer; even if it did turn out she was a pushover (somehow), she's still Celestia's protege. Kidnapping her in Canterlot would be the equivalent of kidnapping the president's niece and hiding her in Washington. Only in this case the president is an immortal god whose word is probably law, controls the entirety of the justice system and has people so endeared to her that they'd be willing to fight against unwinnable odds to please her. I mean at which point did this sound like an okay plan?

Edit: I just wanted to say that there are some inconsistencies that you have when writing your characters (Starlight included). While this normally wouldn't have been that bad, you keep calling attention to them due to the situations you put your characters in. I also probably came off sounding a lot more aggressive than I meant to and for that I apologize.

7172363 Good guess at what's about to happen but you ate the red herring. (This is one of the situations when you really want to turn the page to the next chapter, but stay tuned until Sunday when you'll be able to.). And your deductions would be valid... if... Saying anymore at chapter 25 more would be spoilers. And thanks for the apology. That thoughtfulness is one of the reasons I feel the sense of community here on this site.

Wonder what this Starlight would say if one were to tell her she'd end up in the exact place she's been running away from (town mayor) as part of her plan to liberate ponykind from the binds of Cutie Marks :ajsmug:.

7199059 I'm sure the irony would not be lost on her. Of course, that she ran Our Town went into my calculation into making her an earl when I wrote this story and Rediscovering Harmony. In the later story, her husband indicates that in the Charisma 7 alternate universe that Starlight is "madam mayor" of Ponyville. Mayor Mare (pronounced Mar-eh, olden-pony for the seas on the face of the moon), is her assistant.

I hope we get to work out that thing that happened to Celestia. I'm worried someone's up to no good.

7206582 Your wish is my command. Read my story, Sisters in All But Blood. The 'Celestia question' is encountered, dealt with, and fully explained.

:twilightsheepish:Hope you liked this story... <fishing>

Well, I'm glad I'm returning to this story. Time for more reading!!

The next chapter summary here made me laugh out loud - which isn't an easy feat. Well done.

This is an excellent piece of work. I intend to investigate the rest of your universe now.

This is already interesting while it has hardly begun yet.

Starlight clearly doesn't know why Sunburst left Canterlot and apparently sees no need to learn where he went.

Starlight thinks about Cutie Marks in the wrong way obviously. I think that the fake Cutie Mark had nothing to do with her experience that was her own mental imbalance coupled with her hatred towards Cutie Marks.

Sunset clearly does not know how to gauge Twilight's skill. She should just ask Moondancer and she will have plenty of information and probably get irritated at Moondancer's skill too.

Starlight seems to suffer form strange black-outs I wonder what that means for her.

Starlight clearly does not have a high opinion of the examiners.

It's obvious that Zecora is the trading contact the herbs need to be delivered to.

Starlight needs to find a way to get rid of Running Mead quickly. That would solve most of her current problems and put an end to a very dangerous criminal.

8253624
Thank you for the running commentary. I am finding it very entertaining. It gives me an insight into what one reader is understanding from what I wrote.

Starlight's obsession with Cutie Marks makes her see them as the cause for a lot of things when that is not always the case. Sunset's problems with Celestia seem to caused by her pride most of all.

One of the most underrated stories on the site. Every character feels alive, is three-dimensional, and the story is paced very well. Your take on magic is unique, and due to that the magic-o-babble is actually an interesting read. I really enjoy your take on Starlight's character and the story feels immersive and plausible enough to actually be part of the canon when it comes to her. The chemistry between her and Sunset works, because they talk to each other like actual, real people. There are also very interesting juxtapositions between Sunset and Starlight. While Starlight's doing what she can to survive, Sunset's living a life disconnected from the harsh reality of existence. And that's probably the best part of the whole story: It has grit. Realism. Conflict of interest. Life. Real people, with their own lives, who don't just act like characters spouting off expository dialogue.

This grit and realism is generally very lacking when it comes to MLP fanfiction, because Equestria has all the telltale signs of a tedious utopia.

So, to be brief, this story is easily one of the best ones on the site. I'll be sure to check out your other work. Thank you!

8620561
Thank you for your mini-review. It was very gratifying to hear that much of what I wanted to put forth actually worked. I hope you enjoy my other stories.

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