• Published 13th Feb 2016
  • 4,391 Views, 357 Comments

Converted - Shaded Changeling



What happens when a Dragon born outside of Equestria suddenly finds himself not only in an invasion, but turned into a Changeling? How does he cope with the changes, all the while trying to return a young Foal to Canterlot? Only time will tell.

  • ...
16
 357
 4,391

PreviousChapters
Epilogue

As Sunstreak made his fly around the town, he didn’t notice someone watching him from the Everfree forest. A white Pegasus wearing a dirty brown cloak was watching from a tall tree, standing on one of the highest branches. He hopped from branch to branch, never even causing a leaf to fall, once he was under the tree line, he pulled a small purple crystal from under his cloak.

He lifted the crystal up to his ear, where it grew across his face, stopping down by his mouth, forming a small earpiece. “Get me in contact with the Council.”

The crystal began to pulsate as he waited for a response. Looking around as he looked for any sign of the local fauna, or flora for that matter, that might decide to try and have a snack.

The Response came with a number of growls and beeps.

“Tell the Councilor that I don’t care who they have.” The Pegasus replied. “Tell him that he put me on this God forsaken mission, and I expect him to talk to me when I have a report to give.”

There was a short pause before the crystal glowed blue. “What?”

“Councilor, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

“Bad news first.”

“I found the Phoenix Rays that vanished all those years ago.”

“How is this bad?”

“They’re dead.”

There was a pause over the crystal before the Councilor spoke again. “And the good news?”

The Pegasus smiled. “You aren’t going to believe who it was.”

“Who was it? This had better be good.”

“Went missing 30 years ago, cousin is in the Specters”

There was another long pause. “You’re certain?”

“Of course.” The Pegasus replied. “I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t sure of it.”

“You are to return here.” The Councilor replied. “Bring your findings, and make sure you tell no one of this. We need to keep this confidential.”

“Understood sir.” The Pegasus said as the Crystal glowed purple and began to recede, he grabbed the small shard with a hoof. “This should be interesting,” He said, looking back towards the town.

He placed the crystal back inside his cloak and jumped into the air, flying to the southeast, towards a place far from reach of any of the ponies. He was heading back to the land he knew as home, he was going to the Burning Fiords. He was Content with how the mission had turned out, his entire mission had been to find a flock of Phoenix Rays that went missing and keep a watchful eye on any strange occurrences. Now he may have found something stranger than the rest of it. “Back from the dead…” He mumbled to himself before picking up his pace to arrive back as quickly as possible. "Maybe this Mission won't be so boring after all?"

Author's Note:

Mysterious hooded man watches, from a distance
And thus, Converted comes to an end. First real MLP based story I had ever written, and I'm proud of it.

However this is not the end of Shade's story, and far from the end of my stories based in this world. The next big project I'm working on is essentially Shade's experiences in Equestria for the first year of his new life.
I'm glad that all of you guys enjoyed the story, and I hope that you guys enjoy my other stories :twilightsheepish: So for now, I think it is time to focus on that Pesky brain of mine that keeps deciding to flitter around the room. I'll fill you guys in once I get that other story written up.

PreviousChapters
Comments ( 44 )

7093788 Even if they sent a letter, Meadow's Mother wouldn't have gotten it, She is in Manehatten on Business. So even if they sent it, she wouldn't have received it

7128241 Oh dear me... I appear to be going Cross-eyed... :derpyderp1:

Anyway, I will try to separate my responses into groups that correspond with your own groups, for both easier location and my own personal sanity.

Chapters 1-5: Agreement

Totally agree with you. That's it... I just agree. Nothing else I can really say about it. Reading them back I kind of worried that they would go a bit too fast, especially since my writing style changed a lot after that and began going slower, however I was still trying to figure many things out and left out lots of spaces that probably should have been filled. A big one for instance is probably helping to show more of either the Hive itself (Which I didn't have plotted out at the time...and arguably still don't...) or fill in some more characterization during the flight to Canterlot.
I certainly do wish that I could have put more time into the Hive, however one big thing that struck at me was this.... Why? Why would they open the pod early if they knew the process wasn't finished? The best I could come up with was sort of a... Call to arms, all of the soldiers being awoken at once, regardless of condition. That way, the opening of the pods would at least make... a little more sense... Though I suppose a bit of elaboration on that front couldn't hurt.

The MARY SUE-EN-ING! :pinkiegasp: Hands in the air on this one. I had a bit of trouble trying to fit in much Character with him at first, the main issue was, yet again, a slight mix of attention span and previous writing types. Now, I by no means claim that is an excuse, because it isn't. :ajbemused: What I mean is that when I began writing this, the ideas of... well... EVERYTHING were still trying to surface, and my attention span being what it is, I wanted to get my mind to stop trying to poke me with them. I slow down a lot later after realizing the speed that I was moving, and start to give them more time to develop. Though I certainly need to work on that...
Now on the Subject of Meadow... *Deep breath* Honesty... This is the first young child character I have ever made. And you know that good old saying 'Walk a Mile in their shoes'? Well, that saying helped me greatly with her! :pinkiehappy: From the point when I took a look through her eyes, tried to think like a child would again, and honestly think how they would react in these situations, it helped me a great deal with her character, but more on that next section.

Rewriting?: yes, that issue was brought up quite a bit in my internal debates. The issue of Shade not knowing much about himself, the land, or even his new species helped pushed him to trying to learn as much as he could, but without hurting himself in the process, with mixed results... Giving him a bit more time to learn about the Hive might help him, or might only end to making him more confused later down the line. Again, that was sort of an internal debate and practicality won out (Don't want to reveal certain things too soon and what not...)

Now, the Chrysalis Mind control Buggery. Unintentional Pun While... Yes, The Queen can exhibit some minor control over her subjects directly, she is also... Well... A Queen, if she could control her subjects fully, she would have. But back on topic, Shade did not really break free. Chrysalis' Instructions 'Go feed' were aimed at all of them, Shade unconsciously followed that command during his battle. He did not necessarily 'break free' as much as 'Followed his Commands'... Think kind of like a program or something. He did what he was told, nothing more, nothing less. So once he did 'Feed' the 'Program' shut down. My that was a strange analogy... Anyway, another thing to consider, the others were all Soldiers, trained to help the Hive and follow the orders of a Queen, they were doing what they thought was best. But enough about them! MOVING ON!

Chapters 6-10: Magical Changes
My the bad joke there.... Anyway Spoilers for... Stuff I guess *Shrug*

Anyway, yes, you do bring up a good point, Shade's connection to Magic. *Deep breath* Okay, so... Magic from the Fiords is used more as a... Tool/weapon, more geared towards specific individuals with more/less of a connection to it. Some mages from the Fiords are able to do pretty much anything, others (Shade sort of fit into this box) can utilize small traces of magic for their usage in the form of either low range telekinesis, and slight teleportation. The third box is Non-Magic users, those that cannot tap into the flow of magic within them and yadda yadda yadda. Shade was aware of magic's existence and learned a bit of it, however he never could utilize it to the amount normal Unicorns can. For instance, Magical library Tree. Where he comes from, Trees are essentially gnarled, twisted husks that can't be used for anything. So the thought of near infinite magical potential, and magic trees is something he has trouble grasping. Plus Pegasi magic is confusing because normally Dragons cannot stand on clouds. The breathing toxin thing was kind of a cover, that is all I shall say. Oh and this... His Mother was a strong Mage, she taught him a few things. :ajsmug:
TERMINOLOGY: My worst enemy... :twilightangry2: Honestly the idea behind lots of that came from the fact that 1. Shade isn't used to Pony Speak. and 2. I was not used to pony speak. Doing it from his eyes helped me cover up a bit of the inadequacies of writing the 'Pony vs Body' thing :twilightsheepish: Yeah.... Oh and the fact that he has spoken like that for something like... 400 years makes it difficult to change in 3 days. I think anyway...

MANE 6: *Wipes forehead* Phew... I'm always slightly worried I mess them up in one way or the other, (Especially Rarity) I know how to Write Twilight and Pinkie, (Being both an inquisitive person by day and batshit insane pyrotechnic by night) :pinkiecrazy: Though where I always fall is the others. Certain side Characters, (Like one specific Zebra we all know, but one that I believe blows.) give me lots of trouble (For no good at rhyming am I, since it takes me an hour to make these on the fly.) and having to stop to come up with lines that rhyme makes me blow my top. You can blame poetry units in school for that... :ajbemused:

CHARACTERS: I did certainly try to give them all more time to develop, and I'm glad it seems to have paid off. :pinkiehappy:

CHANGELINGS BE HERE: I'm glad you think so... Because that scene and a subsequent scene took me FAR LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE! I am talking like a single week was dedicated to those Changelings in two very particular scenes. *Disgruntled mumbling*
Anyway, annoying periods of planning and rewriting aside... This was one of the parts I really liked writing, and I'm glad that it is what gives my story that little boost.
Also something I just realized I forgot to touch on... The 50 chapters thing, complete coincidence, a mixture of technical faults out of my control and me just writing how I liked led to it being that long, though I am okay with adding or even taking away pieces that aren't exactly needed. Anyway! NEXT SECTION HO!

Chapters 10-15: Meadow's Missing
I couldn't come up with anything...

Yes, I definitely felt that losing Meadow would cause problems, but I felt that it should have been touched on given the incident and (If you know about that Hive) why they did it. I liked writing Tornado Dust like that, the fact that the memory loss not only affected Sunstreak, but him should it go poorly, helped that slight nervousness that helped me write him.

And yeah, getting rid of the Mane 6 was a bit of a priority before delving into something like the Poison Joke. The idea of which came from me trying to think about what would be hilarious for others, yet absolute torture for Sunstreak, then my mind went to what if's and everything else just fell into place. Actually... Bit of trivia, a planned outcome was actually him having to be captured by Equestria for the terms of the agreement, then... well...I decided to change it. Simple as that. Decided to enhance a bit of it for fun, :twilightsmile: and I'm glad that I did.

I'm out of things to say...NEEEEEEEEXT!

Chapter 16: The End?

Yeah, remember when I had that trivia bit like... a paragraph ago.... Well, this is what made me change my mind. I remembered that there was an entire group of characters I could still use! I'm glad that it helped :twilightsmile: Though... I do have one thing that I wish I put in there... and that would be more of the City of Canterlot... I'm not even sure what like... 90% of the city looks like! Do they have a park? Do they have an airship port? How do they fit so much in that one wall that looks like it only covers the castle! So many mysteries... Though I only knew like.... three things there... so that is what I stuck with. Still kind of wish there was more... What can a manbearpig do?

Overall Report: Turnips for Tots
I don't even know... :facehoof:

Anyway. I fully understand the Mary Sue esc ness of Shade and Meadow at first. That is the main reason why I devoted a lot of time to try and get them out of that box. Hopefully it worked.
The expansive world is one that I love to use. The idea that there can be pretty much anything there helps that fact. The expansive world of... EVERYTHING! Helps expand not only the story, but history and separate cultures. I love it too much not to include :pinkiehappy:
Oh don't worry. I'll be making an appearance quite soon :heart:

Thank you for the input, it was very helpful,
:heart: Cadence :heart:

P.S. ALL THE FREE TIME! Much to write :ajsmug: Poyfect.

7143830 Indeed, but you cannot forget, certain cultures see wearing pieces of animals (Aztecs even thought wearing Human skin capes) Was a sign of honor/wealth/skill. And being a snotty little... anyway... I don't think Diamond Tiara would honestly care. So long as she has something others don't.

7144264 *Awkward cough* Chrysalis kind of went against all Changelings by revealing them. Not because of the other Hive's methods, but because of a power play. She risked the security of all of them on a stupid move.

7143844 Yeah, but it's still sick, since they are not simple animals, but sapient creatures.


7144274 Clearly Chryssie can do no wrong. :rainbowwild:


7147416 *noms on the cookie* Yaaaaaay!

That was a fun ride, lots of interesting ideas, world building, likeable characters, despicable villains, good stuff. And a good end for Chryssie, which is always a plus.

7147473 Glad to hear you enjoyed it. Maybe you will like some of my other stories as well :twilightsmile: If you like Hives 'A Day In The Hives' will touch on all of them.

If you want to see me writing about a life of a Natural born Changeling, 'Pen Pals' would be a nice place to start.

How.
Do you turn.
A dragon.
Into a changeling.
The concept is not registering in my mind as possible.

7156310 *Hand flourish* Magic.... In all honesty, it takes a ridiculously long time in this story, though I do recall a clop story coming out shortly after I posted this that has a dragon becoming a Changeling

7160965 yeeeaaaah.... :twilightsheepish: I've learned to get better about it, though Converted is still in heavy need of editing. I just haven't found the time to do that while I'm juggling 3 stories.

7160826 hopefully I can keep you interested. :twilightsheepish:

Let me first say that this is one hell of a story. At first I didn't know what to expect, a dragon turned into a changeling? How could that possibly work? But as I read on I grew to love the story, and am proud to say that it is one of my top favourites.

7166817 Did they ever explicitly state that?

his fly around

flight
7167506
I haven't yet seen the episode in question, but a lot of time travel and dimension-hopping happens and one is years after Nightmare Moon wins…and plants and animals are doing fine.
7161168
It's mostly good mechanically, aside from speech tag punctuation.

Uggh. Pushed through a migraine to read all this. Now to not read the next one until I'm on break.

7175608 Just realized. I never thanked you. :rainbowhuh: I'm glad that you are helping me correct the grammar issues and such within my story. So thank you. I will certainly work to fix up the issues when I have time. Thank you for your work :twilightsmile:

Converted Thoughts *Part 2*

Well it took some time but I have finally returned for the second part of Converted Thoughts. So there is of course quite a bit to cover. In all honesty I was expecting a part 3 of this story as well to start at around chapter 32 which would mean my part 2 would come around much sooner, obviously that was not the case.

Anyway like before I will be going through chapters in groups and simply pull them apart. I could have also done spelling, punctuation and grammar fixes but I think Cursed Quill has you supported on that front. Thanks Quill by the way for that. It is always nice to see a fellow member helping out their authors, keep it up. :ajsmug:

For all you readers out there who are looking through the comments and are unsure if they should read this story then first of all I encourage you to do so. Trust me that once you pass the initial few chapters (first four I would say) things really start to get interesting and well written. If you need more of a push though check out part 1 of this review for a more detailed insight into the earlier half of the story, I try to keep out spoilers and even if the actual real action of the story takes place in act 2 anyway so you are not getting spoiled that badly.

Getting back on track other then the usual chapter by chapter review I also plan to respond to your reply from the previous part of this review as well as give you a summary of the story at the end. As such get ready to sit back, get comfortable and read a whole lot of words (not that Fimficion readers are not used to that anyway). :rainbowwild:

Before I get into all of that though I just want to apologise for the slowness of part 2's reveal. I have a good number of reasons for the wait which do not include a tragic story (thank god, is it just me or do those get degrading over time). So yeah the reasons for that are right below this paragraph. I have surrounded those reasons with this |*| symbol for all you readers who just want to read the review. However if you are interested in some reading philosophies and what not from other users reading this may be somewhat insightful. :trixieshiftright:

By the way *Spoilers be here!*

Reading into Worlds
|*|
Congratulations you have chosen to read about how I go about reading stories and why that process may be slow.

So lets get into it. First of all reading is a leisure activity meant for the enjoyment of the reader as such I am going to go through my favourite stories at a leisurely pace rather than speed demon through it. I have never understood why people like to gloat about how they can read some stories (Harry Potter comes to mind) in a day or less. What is the point in that. When people say things like that all it sounds like to me is that the book was some sort of chore or job that had to be finished in the quickest time possible so that the reader could move onto better things.

Essentially reading is not about how many words can be read in a second, reading is about the flow of emotions. It's about feeding your soul with thoughts, opinions, feelings and inspiration. When people read so fast that they miss over words they are genuinely missing the point. Sure they may be able to understand what is happening, but do they really feel it… I'm doubtful. :duck:

Personally when I read through a story, especially one I love, I like to go through it almost as slowly as possible. I like to read sentences twice to get a better picture of what is really being said, what the character is truly seeing, hearing, saying or doing. Not only that but also what other characters should be gleaming from this information. I also like doing this to see where the author is going. For example, why does Shades unconscious flashbacks show him going into some kind of rage mode… Well most likely because the author is trying to establish this as a character trait so that this could be used in the future without the reader feeling like it just came out of nowhere and that Shade is instantly overpowered (Yeah I saw that from a mile away).

When dialogue gets really good I even like to act out the scenes taking place, do a little voice acting and get into the head of the characters. When really funny jokes occur or very serious statements are made I like to read it over and over again and either stop reading to laugh my head off and really question myself as to why that joke was extremely funny or stop and ponder over why that comment made me so surprised or whatever other emotion it elicited from me. Now I could describe all those emotional moments for you in this review but that would make this way too long (not that it is not already).

The other big issue is time and place. I only like to read when I am in bed and fully relaxed. Like I said I like to feel the emotions and if I am on a train or wherever else I would be trying to suppress them the whole time which just ruins the experience. I also like to only read on average three chapters a day. That includes every other story that I am reading at the moment as well (I pick and choose the three chapters and which stories they will come from beforehand. The reason for this restriction is that I hate finishing stories quickly. I like prolonging stories because that way I get to enjoy them for longer. You have to agree that it sucks when you catch up to an unfinished story and have to wait for new chapters to come out. So the solution is to read slower so that you do not catch up. This method also means that I get more time to think about the stories I am reading during the next day and make opinions on circumstances.

On that topic I was also reading through the “Long Road to Friendship” by The Albinocorn during this time so yeah I had to pick and choose wisely for what I felt like on the day.

Another problem with reading fast is that a lot of the time you end up reading so many stories that by the end you forget about all of the older ones. I do not know about you but I like to remember the lessons I learnt from my past stories. Reading slowly helps because you have less stories clouding your memories to be replaced by more recent stories. It also means I keep high standards, I am not going to read trash because I know that I will be reading it for a few weeks and would prefer to spend my leisure time on something more enjoyable.

Anyway this description was way too long and for you faster readers out there (Razzy to name an example) keep reading how you like to read. Everyone has their own style and if it works for you then good on you. Besides if everyone read like me than I wouldn’t feel unique and I looooooove being unique. :derpytongue2:
|*|

Okey so before the actual review begins I am just going to reply to some of Shaded Changeling's comments from last time. Technically though this is still part of the review just more so for part 1.

Converted Replies

On the subject of the MARY SUE-EN-ING while I still hold true to Shades slightly overpowered nature act 2 does put his power into perspective a bit. Personally I think Shade gets away with this later on because of the whole "if everyone’s super... no one is" rule, as in many characters in your universe are overly powerful and of course that works in an MLP inspired world. The earlier chapters just showed less of them (As earlier chapters should) which meant that Shade looked like the only powerful character as the story was from his perspective. Besides he is a 300 year old Dragon war master so it would make sense that he outclasses the usual drone.

In terms of terminology I am happy to report that the issue clears up extremely well in part 2 and everything feels natural. I liked it how Shade picked up on Luna's “tis” saying after he questioned if ponies really were saying that. This demonstrated his terminology problem without making me cringe at the usual hoof vs hand dilemma.

I know what you mean about Canterlot and its mysterious design from the show. In far distance shots it appears as a quite random looking castle but when the characters are in it it looks like a whole city. I like to think that the castle is at the front and the rest of the city sits behind the mountain on a large mountain ledge that we cannot see due to the mountain being in the way.

Hooray we have finally passed by the warm-up. Dun dun darrrrrrrn. However this half of the review will not go into the same amount of detail as the first one did mainly because I have to go through almost triple the amount of chapters as part 1. Another reason is because of reader familiarity. I already mentioned most of the biggest problems in part 1 and now that I am more accustomed to the world and characters it becomes harder to criticise especially if I have already criticised that point already and I really do not want to keep going over the same points. I also hate attacking character decisions unless they are really out of character. That is because everyone is different and reacts in their own way, I have seen many times in my life where under stress people act randomly and I just hate it when reviewers attack some random reaction from a character when they were put under stress. Besides I realise that some actions were required for the progression of the story even if I am not really ok with them. Nevertheless let's get into this review thingy before the end of the world occurs.

Chapter 16 – 20: Cadence Comes

Straight from the get go we are treated with some wonderful characterisation from Shade. Funnily enough Shade seriously acted exactly how I would have in the situation of being captured in a cell like that. I read that whole section a couple of times in enjoyment. Damn that was such a good opener to act 2 and really brought up my hopes. What made this scene so great was the emotional transitions. The comedic aspect was there but it was not overused and you knew exactly how to transition to the more serious side of the issue.

Then of course Cadence came in. You were not kidding in your part 1 response when you said that you(Cadence) were coming in soon. I admit I laughed for some time at that. I will also admit though that her coming to the correct conclusion about Shade and his motives so easily was a little hard to take on board. Shade attacked her and barely gave her any reason to trust him let alone believe that he was against Chrysalis. It made sense to the audience sure, but just not to Cadence in my opinion. Still it was nice to see Cadence and Shining acting rationally to this situation rather than Shining instantly becoming almost villainous like in some other Changeling stories I have read.

I also mentioned in my notes (yeah I write notes while reading your story, may be another reason why I was slow to deliver this) that I was feeling overloaded with the amount of new characters. In particular this was mainly attributed to Silver, Sunglider and the Night guard one. Now I would go back and double check his name like I usually do in this case but I feel like it perfectly shows off how with so many characters I start to forget some of them even with my attention to detail. I will talk about this a bit more later on though as with the benefit of hindsight I know that this was only the beginning.

As a P.S sort of comment I noticed in one of your comments that you did coding last year. Funny I currently do C++ coding as a job… It sucks.

Chapter 21 – 25: Split Personality = Split Review

To start things off Shades transgression into a love hungry beast due to lack of food is horrific. I love it. :pinkiecrazy: It makes sense that such a reaction would be the result of a lack of food for an extended period of time. In fact the only disappointing thing about it is that I do not see more of it in the rest of the fic when Shade depletes his love reserves in combat scenarios. Although I guess his red eyed rage mode sort of substitutes for that.

Congratulations the scene where he ate the other Changeling has truly earned you the gore tag. Hooray! :yay: :facehoof:

Moving on I also felt like Pinkie's mind was a little too one track minded and sadly this remained throughout the rest of the story. There was that one part where you saw a bit more of her when she was depressed when Shade was angry at her but overall I felt like you could have strayed from the slightly overbearing focus on parties. The final battle party cannon thing was awesome though. :pinkiehappy:

Celestia's character however was spot on, brilliant, perfect, incredible and all that good sense. :trollestia: Her knowledge of Changeling's seems unavoidable in your style of Changeling backstory and I was really happy to see that on top of all of her actions / reactions to events. It did make me question about Luna's role in all of this and I was very happy to see her later in the story. However it would have been nice to get a mention of her or something along those lines earlier in the story.

Dr Rose was another great character who I enjoyed. I think the defining moment was when she casually explained how Shade had eaten another Changeling. Those wonderful subtle hints at humour grabbed my attention and my funny bone. :rainbowlaugh:

Then there was the whole split personality problem with Shade and Sunglider. Honestly I have never liked that sort of thing. Swapped bodies fine, great even (depending on importance to story) but when you start messing around with an individual's mind I start to become anxious. I like to think of it in science terms as chemical vs physical reactions. A physical reaction like moulding a batch of Playdo or in story terms breaking somepony's ribs can be fixed via simple re-moulding or medicine (although I do have some slight issues with the whole ribs thing and how Shade shrugs if off at times). However burning the Playdo or erasing memories for example are changes that cannot be reversed. You cannot unburn Playdo, you can take the burnt bits out and replace it with new Palydo or cool the Playdo down to make the effect less pronounced but no matter what you do that Playdo will never be the same again. Similarly this split-personality thing is something that affects the mind for both Shade and Sunglider. This problem is something that may never be fixed; mentally changing their very core personalities. :twilightoops:

As such I was overjoyed when you separated them early on. Except that was not the case as the problem still persisted. Despite this at least you handled the situation well (and fixed it not too soon later). You at least made the situation more of a pronounced swap rather than them interchanging words as seen in the fanfic “Veil of Thoughts” by Starwin (which is a story based on the topic of split personality for those of you who do enjoy such things).

In the positive department the fight scene in chapter 24 was absolutely mindbogglingly awesome. One of the best fight scenes I have read in Fimfiction undoubtedly. It just sprayed emotional impact at you in the best way possible while at the same time feeling very raw and realistic. After this fight I remember asking myself why you do not have more likes, favourites and follows. That is not an easy thing for me to say, look at how many ponies / changeling's / whatever they are I follow (Hint: Only one at the time of this writing).

Chapter 26 – 30: An ohhhh, ahhhh, awwww and What The Beeeep!

Ohhhh: It was nice to get a little back story into the Burning Fiords. In particular the fact that the Changeling's were working with the Dragons at one point in the past made me very interested.

Ahhhh: As usual with your characterisation I felt like you hit Discord perfectly. Well perfectly in the context and universe of your story. Obviously in the Cannon world I would expect a little less death and to be honest I would doubt that he would make any sort of deals with Minitours. Still your story has made it abundantly clear that death via violence is a thing and as such his character makes sense.

Ahhhh?: I would also like to point out that I do feel like it is a little harsh for ponies to target a whole race for the actions of a few. I am certain that humanity would not even do this and they have a history of violence. Still you fix this issue up by the end of the story.

Awwww: The baby Changeling or Echo as I know her to be via the glory of hindsight is sooooo cute. I absolutely adore her and find her to be an overall better character than Meadow in terms of the Mary-Sue-Ness we talked about last time and in terms of adorableness.

What The Beep!: Antennae is Tornadoes Mum! I admit that while I do not usually get tricked this one completely caught me by surprise. Yet it just makes so much sense. Damn I wish I saw it coming. Actually scratch that, I am so happy that you managed to surprise me like that. Such a brilliant plot twist, implemented so well. Bravo, simply Bravo.

As another P.S note, I found Thund.. er I mean Surprise. If only I got up to this chapter before replying to all of your messages in your blog. Woops. Still I guess I Spin would not have known anything about Surprise as well so in some ways it makes it a little more realistic… I guess? :facehoof:

Chapter 31 – 35 Summon Thy Characters

So here is when most of the characters start being developed further or introduced to a greater extent. Like I said earlier there is a slight overdose in characters. However I shall let it fly. Why… well I know that it is common practice for reviewers to scream hey too many characters at stories with many characters but I find with Fimfiction that overloading stories with characters simply works (If you do it well). I think it is because readers on this site should already know what to expect from most side characters and the main characters which means that they require less space in their heads for these characters which in turn means that authors are free to fill in the remaining space with OC's

Now of course overdoing it still leads to memory problems like I have with the Night Guard but I think that it can be worth the sacrifice in the memory department for the sake of giving readers a character that they can relate to in the context of the story. One thing you do well is that you give each and every character the right amount of screen time to develop them and then move onto the next one. I feel as though each and every side character is evenly represented and that is really nice to see. It must have been difficult for you to work out how scenarios will play out to get that kind of effect and I thank you for your effort in that department.

In relation to everything I just stated I loved Tornadoes opinion of being board when he is called a traitor. If I was in his hooves I think I would be bored by that claim as well.

One thing I liked about this chapter as well as the rest of the story is how Shades Dragon side starts to came out again. It is nice to see it being developed again as until this point it kind of sat on the side as a hey and he was once a dragon thing that meant little more than words. Seeing his dragon side really helped alleviate that thought.

I also want to point out that the Character development in these chapters was brilliant but really I am sounding like a broken record at this point so yeah I think that point will be removed from the rest of this report and you can rest freely knowing your characters are very well developed. :raritywink:

Chapter 36 – 40 Memories of Midnight

Remember how in the last paragraph I mentioned how I did not want to talk about character development again… well… The Queens are drone brilliantly! I'm sorry but I could not let that go. Each Queen has their own separate personality that never feels forced (like the mane 6 can feel like at times) yet makes them all stand out. I can see how each of them take their responsibilities and I can almost tell what sort of backstory they each have from the small bits of information you fed to us. Once again the show not tell aspect of your stories was shining in this area and I loved every moment of it. Personally I could not tell you which one I like the most because they are all awesome in their own way so great work on differentiating them all despite the fact that they essentially hold very similar roles (or at least would if you did not write the hives so well).

I Loved it how you swapped in and out of the backstory. You mentioned that you felt bad for doing it as it meant that you had to split a single chapter into two but I felt like it was a crucial addition. Honestly without the swapping I think I may have got bored with the backstory stuff. I know weird right because I am usually a backstory fan but I think the excitement of the upcoming battle and the late night that night made me want to move forward with the plot.

On the plus side for the backstory I think that was the moment where I finally accepted the over-abundance of side characters in the story. It came to me as I was reading about Shades brothers. It got me thinking about how the story would work if instead of continually adding characters you instead simply glanced over the other characters and let them come and go as nameless characters for the moment. At the end I decided that I preferred an over-abundance of characters to a bunch of unnamed nobodies. This is because while unnamed nobodies would have avoided the issue of too many characters it would also have meant that the world would feel smaller because when you give a name to a character they instantly feel real and alive. It changes them from an it, him, her, them, she to an actual somebody who has thoughts, feelings and opinions. I feel like many recent T.V shows and movies suffer with this because by not doing this they restrict their world and make it feel like their world is simply a made up world, nothing more. What you have done is very similar to how MLP gained success. You acknowledged that the main characters are certainly the main ones of your story but that all of the characters have their own story and that if you had chosen to follow it from their perspective then we would still get a very interesting tale.

Continuing with the review thingy now. When Shifter told Shade about what Spine did to Meadow I have to say that was where your story earned its dark tag. I literally needed to stop reading for the night to process that info. :unsuresweetie: Like it all makes sense in context, so no harm done by the author but geeeeez I was seriously hoping for it all to be a lie. Like there is following your new queen and then there is being a Spine. Holy Chrysalis. So it comes as no shock that I could tell that you were planning for something bad to happen to Spine or Shifter and you did this little scenario as an attempt to eliminate all of the reader's sympathy. It worked as even when you look into Spine and Shifters reasons for doing so (which make sense with characterisation in mind) you still want them to suffer at least a little.

However Mirrors / Midnights death was not the catalyst that I expected. In all honesty I actually wanted to comment on how unbelievable Midnight was at the start. The whole friendship with Midnight was nice but I found it a little hard to believe how quickly she became friends with Shade… you know the traitor, the one who killed Chrysalis, had her child and (possibly) manipulated her to think of him as her father… however what you did with the concept was wonderful and it kept in line with the filly protection sort of theme you have for the story.

In fact I actually started to thoroughly enjoy her character, more than many others in the story until... she died. :raritycry: Celestia Damn it I finally looked past her unbelievable reactions and then she finally dies. I sort of feel like Shade where we finally patch things up with Midnight and then she has to die. Honestly the actions done by Shade afterwards are justified. I was going to call him out if he killed Shifter but he did not so everything went along exactly as I believed it should. You also used the whole Shade red eye thing which I totally called.

But yeah her death hurt my soul a little… Goodbye Midnight.

As an extra note I really do wonder what happened to Echo in the end. I do not feel like it is explained much. So she ends up being the daughter of Antennae correct? Otherwise I feel horrible for the little Changeling, she did nothing to deserve all this. But of course that was why you did it, for the feels. Sneaky, sneaky Shaded Changeling. :moustache:

Chapter 41 – 45: Tis be My Lancers and I

Like I mentioned earlier Shades reaction to Midnights death and consequential harm to Shifter are fine by me.

It was also nice to see Celestia's benevolence here with the perfectly timed captain promotion as well getting that information to the guards at the gate.

“Me and my lancers”… :applejackunsure:
:ajbemused:
:ajsleepy:
and I'm done.
What do you mean, what is wrong with that?
I am sorry but my inner grammar Nazi has to come out at some point. While many people would say that this is correct I regret to inform you that it is not and it annoys me to no end. The proper grammar is “My lancers and I”. While generally I let this fly without a comment the problem here is that this mistake has been made a number of times and I think that it would be better to stop it sooner rather than later. Another reason I let it fly is because a lot of the time the grammar comes from an average pony which if they are anything like humanity do not know any better, as such it would make sense that they say this stuff (in other words the author intentionally wrote it like this to demonstrate how this pony is an average to lower class citizen). However this comment came from Pupa, a Changeling Queen, and I would think that she would know proper grammar even if she is one of the more outlandish and outspoken Queens. I am also yet to see you do it the proper way so I have no reason to believe that you know of this problem.

Now with that out of the way I would also like to mention that it was with these chapters that I finally saw how well you managed to give each character the perfect amount of screen time to show off their personalities. Funnily enough it was during Silvers screen time that I noticed it who also happened to be the character that made me question the overabundance of characters in the first place.

Good to see Luna, as well as Shade inherit the “tis” word in his speech like her. But I have already talked about this so...

Other than that there is not much else I can say for these chapters that I have not said so already. Therefore let's move on.

Chapter 46 – 51: The End?

Okey so with the final bunch of chapters I kind of do not have much to say due to me being completely too engrossed to write down my thoughts and because I have said most of the important stuff already. Nevertheless here are a few points.

First of all I would like to question how Crimson knows how good the Lunar guards are with their weapons (she mentions how Shade is much better then them) if she has never seen them before? :trixieshiftright:

Seeing Shade transform into a Dragon was great! I really wanted to see his Dragon form and I am happy that I got to. Funnily enough I sort of thought that Shade would return to his Dragon form by the end of the story since the start. I guess I was wrong.

Some weird choices came up in the final conflict with Spine though. At first it made sense why Twilight was there because she needed to save Spike and the fillies but she ended up saving them and leaving straight away. Still I guess you did it for the sake of making Spine looking even more dastardly then the mother killing, filly napping, Queen mind controlling demon he already is.

Positively though I am happy that Shade got wrecked in the battle as he had his ribs broken. Honestly I was more surprised that he had not fainted yet.

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllled it! I knew since the very start that Chrysalis was not dead. For some reason I just could not accept that she really dies and I held onto it despite all of the evidence of the contrary. So yeah seeing Chrysalis alive felt good.

And finally I want to say that I was very happy to hear about the burning fiords in the end. It shows how the burning fiords is still alive after the Changeling attack and that it is still somewhat powerful.

I would also mention that you did not give as much of a lengthy conclusion that really wraps things up but that does make sense since this story has a sequel to tell us all about that anyway.

Conclusion:

So there we have it. Probably one of the longest comments ever on Fimfiction. :twilightblush:

Nevertheless as you can probably tell from the effort that I went into writing this that I really loved “Converted”, not as much as “Pen Pals” if it continues as it is going at the moment but still enough to rest peacefully in my Completed Masterpieces section (an honour I assure you).

I will certainly continue reading through the spin-offs of this series and cannot wait for me.

Although do not expect something of this calibre until “Pen Pals” is completed at least. However if you need anything checked or whatever I am always here.

All in all you get 9 out of 10 Changeling's. :pinkiehappy: Where did that last one go? I think he left at the start because he or she was not ready to accept that a dragon became a Changeling. Oh well it's his or her loss. :trollestia:

Once again thank you for this incredible story and I cannot wait to read from you in the future.

All Hail Cadence (Shaded Changeling). :heart:

Your Faithful Pal with a Pen,
|*|Spin|*|

P.S Hooray now I can read the latest chapter of “Pen Pals”! And of course get into “A Day In The Hives”. :yay:
It's going to feel so good to be able to reply to your blogs without the fear of being wrong in relation to your own cannon.

P.P.S Wow you seem to have almost doubled your followers in like two weeks. Congrats. Not that followers mean everything, it is really all about the enjoyment that you get from the writing. Keep up the awesomeness. :rainbowdetermined2:

7200200 *Deep breath* Time for a response... I don't even know if I can finish it in the time I have... :applejackconfused:

Let's get right into the juicy bits shall we?

Reading Style
I can understand that not everyone reads the same, and trust me, I do the same thing. The scenes play out in my head and I try to give as much detail as I can see within each scene, and that tends to cause me to doubt things when I discuss battles. There are always some small pieces going on in the background that cannot be explained, or cannot be focused on effectively. Do not worry about your reading speed, because I am hardly a speed racer myself...

Anyway to the actual report!

*There be Spoilers in dem dare comments. yee be warned Landlubbers*

Chapters 16-20: A New Story Begins
Originally when I wrote this story, there wasn't even supposed to be a part two, but then my brain said in no particular words "Cheeseberry kumquat strudel, Nah. I don't like that." So I decided to try and expand it a bit more, and I'm glad I did.
Now as to Cadence figuring out what is going on, recall that she was quite the brainiac from... Whichever comic number it was. I always saw her as a good judge of character and kindness, so while I'm sure she wouldn't be thrilled by it, she wouldn't want to see a Changeling die. (A La 'Pen Pals' for a good example of this). I think Shining Armor would see more the Tactical side of it, they have a prisoner from a race they know nearly nothing about, it would be better to keep it alive until some idea is formed from it.
The Characters: Indeed... Many a new characters here. But it is to be expected, new locations and all that jazz. However I do see what you mean with less time devoted to them. That is the main reason I try to give many of them more time.

Chapters 21-25: Side Effects
Dietary: Indeed... The point of his regression was to show that he needs certain sustenance other than grass and Love. Being part Dragon, he requires a certain amount of meat, or risk dipping into this state. Part of his Primal predatory urges coming out to ensure his survival. I figured it would be a neat thing to add, since Ponies don't normally eat meat, and the Fiords has no (Edible) plant life. Though it could certainly happen with Love as well... But think of Love more as an Energy, if he runs out of Love, he begins to eat away at the stored Love in his body. Food on the other hand/Hoof/Claw/....Thing... is something he needs, and with what Dragon babies are like (Here's a hint, Death Row inmates usually have to deal with the Hatchlings... They go for the throat.) I thought it might be interesting to see it's effects now.

Pinkie Pie... Yup. Agreement towards her, but I do much better about writing her now. Celestia was... A bit of a challenge. In the scale of trying to get them right, Celestia and Luna were probably the hardest. While Celestia is not often seen as less than a god, Luna is shown often as trying to make up for everything and I try to stay as close as I can get to their characters. I did not mention Luna's involvement with Changelings, since I honestly wasn't sure of that myself at the time of writing. Celestia was always the more dominant leader in my mind, and she handled the Changelings. Luna will probably have more of a role later on with the Changelings.

Mind Meld: yeah, I was trying to think, why wouldn't the CHangelings do the same thing Shade does? There must be a side effect of taking everything, and then I thought about it. We can assign certain memories emotions. Such as seeing your newborn child makes you feel joy or a funeral can bring sadness. So if you "Take everything" you also absorb the memories. Which would be problematic should those memories resurface. It all comes around to, do memories make a person? I then spent a log time working out how to fix them before coming up with something that would work... Because the whole switching personalities thing was going to bug me until I got rid of it.

Fight Club: yes, I do try to keep these battle scenes detailed and keep them filled, because I find I'm good at them, but with how few times Equestria realistically would go to war, there are very few chances to write them. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Chapters 26-30: THINGS!
I tired to make a reason why the fiords were destroyed, the only thing I came up with was Discord... SO I went with it.

Aside from that, the reason I made them have a bit of a pact, is because I remembered a part in Tirek's little Fiendship is magic comic that showed a Centaur with a Draconoquis and a Minotaur in... Where ever they are. SO I just put that there.

Now... The Guards.... Hoo boy... Well I will say that America has a habit of doing this... (Japanese Camps during WWII) But I had to think like one of the Canterlot Elite. They don't know that there are other Hives, so they would simply think all of them were in on it. Celestia couldn't reveal anything or risk the knowledge she has been in contact with 8 Changeling Queens throughout Equestria.

Echo-Location: God that was a bad pun... Anyway, I wanted to show that not just soldiers were affected by that attack, and then I started thinking about things... I realized I never really wrote about a Nymph, and so I decided to give it a try, glad to see it worked out. Though, if you wish to know what happened to her, I will oblige: She stayed with Antenna and Darkblaze while Shade was recovering, and after that, she stays with Shade as a member of his family, because he cares for Echo, and because he owes it to Mirror Speaking of her!

Chapters 36-40: Difficult Choices.
First off... I feel really bad about Mirror... But here is the problem... I NEEDED to push Shade over the edge... I needed to make it so Shade would give up on trying to do this by the books... The only way I came up with was if Spine took Echo and did something terrible for both of them. However... the Option came up as such... Kill off Mirror... Or kill off Candlelight... I figured it would be worse if I killed Candlelight... But it still hurt. :fluttercry: Hell, I knew it was going to happen and I was crying! But in my mind it worked, Shade got the final push he needed to essentially forsake tiptoeing around the situation in favor of beating it over the head. I just wish I could come up with a situation that didn't include her death...

Just realized I skipped the last one... WHOOPS! I'll just say, I focus more on a... Name characters idea then leave them blank. It means that in case I need them again, they are there and I don't need to worry about them seemingly appearing from random, as I have them set up. It saves me a lot of grief with naming as well...

Anyway, back to the current talk: The Queens... I loved writing them. The idea of all of these Hives functioning with different rulers really helped me characterize the Hives themselves. I've seen a couple stories with multiple Hives that show all Queens are almost the same as Chrysalis in pretty much every way, and I just can't stand it. They are all their own characters with different opinions, ideas, skills, and speech patterns.

The Backstory: I realized how little I showed off of the Fiords and Raz and Shade's connections before, so I decided to elaborate on it, and while yes, the chapter is technically two now, I still enjoyed writing it so I could get a look at the Fiords' threats. A few I didn't show are: Hell Hounds, Soul biters, and obsidian Ocelots (Just a bit of trivia) As I enjoy saying, every character has a story, one that should define who they are as a person, so I try to get that across with all of them. Sometimes it works...

Chapters 41 - 45: Sophistication of the Queens

yeah.... I'm still working on edits... So there will be a few grammatical issues that I overlook... Like that one... Sorry 'bout that...

But now I feel is a good time to actually describe Pupa. She is by far the youngest (400 years is what I'm going with right now). And While she is a great fighter, she is rather impulsive and doesn't really care for too much of a show. She is a practical Queen and often doesn't show much in the way of her title. Yet she can kick ass better then any Uma Thurman. (But more on that 'In The Hives' :raritywink: ) So yeah... I'll most likely modify things like that to make more sense... I'm only on Chapter 12 right now in terms of edits. Keep in mind, this was my first story where I actually finished up most of this stuff.... So I am currently making sure I get all of those bits...

Chapters 46- 51: The Conflicts
I am glad to hear that you were engrossed in the story, and I did enjoy writing these bits.

Now, Crimson may not have seen the Weapons, but I think she would know about them (She has spies in the Royal Guard after all) and the spies could tell her how well they fared. Though I am fairly certain she was just saying things like that anyway, keep in mind one of the Changelings' weapons is turning their legs into blades.

Had to repay the idea Shade was OP somehow. he may be a good fighter, but he is stil susceptible to pain... And death... Also I tried to make it on even footing, with these two.

As for Twilight, I think she knew it wasn't her fight, and got the others back to the Town Hall while those two fought it out. So yeah...

The Fiords: Yup, Chrysalis may have attacked the capital, but they had absolutely no idea what they were really going to deal with. The creatures have evolved to kill Dragons, so Changelings are like tiny walking potatoes compared to the thorn bushes they had to fight before. That and Dragons don't take too kindly to being attacked.

END!

I am glad you enjoyed it enough to give it a 9 out of 10, and I certainly don't expect you to do huge reports on all my stories. Take your time with your readings and feel free to comment whenever. Hopefully you continue to enjoy 'Pen Pals'.

I am honored you put my story in your 'Completed Masterpieces' bookshelf. :twilightsmile: I hope to see 'Pen Pals' in there eventually as well.

Until our paths meet again Spindle,
:heart: Cadence :heart:

P.S.: You go do that. I can't wait to hear what you think.

P.P.S : Surprised me too... :twilightsheepish:

7209148 What's Fear Equation? :rainbowhuh:
(I'm being honest, never heard of it.) It's just one big Coincidence. (I also don't play the Fear games... So I wouldn't have known either way,)

CHANGELING. LORE.

MUST. READ.

7209153 fear equation is a post-apocalyptic rogue-like strategy horror game in which you have to take care of an armored train and its residents. you have to send them out to gather supplies all while dodging a 'nightmare fog' that forces the victim into a comatose state, where they either die or become a mindless monster (the Fearless, in this case).
the similarities are eerie.

Aaaaaand this is where I stop reading.

You've got an idea here. The prologue shows that it could be a good idea.

But, I'm sorry for being blunt, the way you developed the idea, is stupid.

Honestly, this story wouldn't even be going in the direction it is if you had the main character acting competently at the start. Telling Meadow, a filly, to hold onto him, a changeling, tightly when surrounded by Royal Guards, ponies, and her mother, also a pony, is stupid. Common Sense would say, "Let the filly go. Her mother is right there, among the Royal Guards that are surrounding you, she'll be safe, she'll be home."

And earlier, when he landed behind them. Why? Why did he do that? At first I thought he was meaning to protect them, but now I look back and I'm thinking that's stupid. He should have left them. He should have gone elsewhere. Heck, he should have done anything but land behind them.

And then, when he did land behind them. The mother, abandoning her filly? No. A mother would never do that, "I'll come back for you!" Like hell she would. A mother would protect their young. Meadow's mother would have either:
A: Attacked the threat
B: Gotten Meadow away from the threat

Even earlier, at the start of the story. Shade would not have been drafted into the attack. No way, no how. Spine would have seen his eye, would have noticed his missing memories, his weird behaviour. He would have gotten other changelings to deal with Shade, he wouldn't have ordered him to join the attack.

This entire story relies on its characters making stupid decisions.

7234116 I respect your opinion. If you did not enjoy the story, I am glad that you provided reasons for it.
Now to respond to some of your other comments.
I am not good at writing Rarity... It is true, I hate her when writing her... I've just got no idea how she acts as more of a person than 'Generous' and I can hardly base a character off of one word. I try to do better with the characters' personalities as I go, but I suppose you are right, somethings were just off about it. I do attempt to get them as close as I can, but... Well
Finally, thank you for bringing up your own concerns with the story. I will use them to help me get better with later stories. Thank you for giving my story a chance.

7234204
No problem.

How can you not know how to write Rarity? Just think about how she acts in the show, don her persona, think, "If I were Rarity, how would I react if X? What would I do when Y?" etc etc.

7234239 Yeah... The problem is... I don't really enjoy her character... :pinkiegasp: I know... But... Out of all of the Main cast, Rarity is my least favorite by a travel to the Moon. Every time I need to write her, I panic and look over every line because I am never sure if it is actually something she would say/do... :ajsleepy: It may also be that I tend to place people who act like her on the list of 'People to ignore or avoid until death'... I just... Have nobody to base her really well off of. It is troublesome... So for the most part I try to avoid her...

7267216 The terms of the spell are: If he attempts to harm another with the spell, then it will feedback into him and deliver the shock. I should probably make that more clear when she talks about it...

It bugs me that you had a connection with sunstreak and Princess Celestia but they didn't have the "hey I met you so and so long ago, or hey your that dragon that said his co was going to kill him" Ithe bugs me that you didn't expand on that oppertunity.

7414962 What about the Moonlight Greatsword, and the Dragon Greatsword?

7551434 thank you that helps me out alot :pinkiesmile: although it'll take some experimenting for me to be good at it and thank you again

7703291 I respect and understand your opinion. In that section of the story I do jump around quite a bit for the fact that nothing really too interesting happens from Shade's perspective. I hope that you enjoyed the rest of the story regardless.

7809100 Me to, especially that changelings are naturally armoured and, depending on the headcanon, don't have breakable bones and only flexible chitin. Plus they're probably quite lightweight.

Hmmm, That was different. MC feels kind of like a HiE rework at times but there is some interesting background to him.

8250126
This was written before that Canon. That comment was also written a year ago.

Please take those facts into consideration before you comment next time.

What a strange story. Half the story reads like it was designed for more mature audiences while the other half tries to match the kid friendly design of the show.

8687280
You’re assuming the timberwolves are without emotion. We’ve only seen them attack, we haven’t seen them do anything else. We don’t even know why they’d attack. Could be territorial, hunting, any number of reasons.

I also did not explicitly state soul. I said “a soul, in a way”.

this is one of my most favorite fics on the websites and it was wonderful keep up the good work

Well, I have to say that the premise is interesting but the pacing isn't well done. Sometimes it rush way too fast (like the climax), sometimes it goes way too slow (like Shade getting back into Canterlot and being jailed/hospitalized) and there are many things that feels forced and unclear (like Chrysalis being dead to suddenly no longer being dead or the relationship between Celestia and the Changeling Queens) with this not even counting the amount of times we got too much exposition for information that could have been better delivered (like how Dragon's magic work)

Also, Spine is a horribly made character. He is bad just for the sake of being bad with no explanation as to why he wanted to hurt so much Shade (not even a hint that could be exploited in a future story) and he went to do things that makes no sense just to spite him. That is bad character writing.

Otherwise, the rest is passable. From the interactions to the characters to the story in general, it's not bad but it suffers from many problems too hard to ignore.

I don't regret reading this story even though there were parts that almost makes me drop it (the hospital) and I hope you manage to improve your stories.

Best Wishes.

Really? No conclusion to the story? What happend to Echo? This really ruins the end :fluttercry:

I can't wait to read the Sequel.

I always laugh reading these older stories and see a changeling character named Thorax. In this he's a general. In canon lore, he's the furthest thing from a general.

Love this story, time to read the others.:pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment