Converted

by Shaded Changeling

Chapter 32: Regret & Repression

Sunstreak flew back into the apartment, taking the knife belt off and placing it back on the counter where he found it, but that wasn’t the main thing he was focused on. Now his mind was swimming with a new issue, revealing one of his closest friends.

Darkblaze had been a close friend to him since he found out he was living in Ponyville, while they didn’t get along at first, eventually they did become friends, and he had taught him how to control his abilities. Now the biggest problem comes when he considered the repercussions.

If he didn’t show Twilight, Darkblaze may get caught at some point, then be treated almost the same way he was at first, and that could lead to Antenna and Blackout getting caught, and he could be held responsible for withholding information. Then what was he supposed to do?

On the other hand, if he told Twilight, she would have to tell Shining Armor. That could end better for him, but Darkblaze would be imprisoned. While Darkblaze wasn’t a soldier, he still had more information of the Hive than Shade did, and that gave him a greater strategic worth. But that could also bring a bunch of questions, such as ‘Why is that one pink?’ and ‘Where are the other Hives?’ Which would doom not only Acari’s hive, but Cytes’, Ovi’s, whoever Pupa is, and any other Hives that are in the city.

“Ugh…” Shade lightly groaned. “I need some sleep.” He walked slowly over to the couch, looking at the small filly that was still curled up asleep, she looked so peaceful… And Shade decided not to wake her.

I’ll just sleep on the floor… Shade thought to himself as he laid down next to the couch, “Maybe I can…” Shade yawned. “Get some sleep for once…”

A few minutes later and he was deep in sleep.

---

“Run!” Shade shouted, looking back at the large, pure black cloud moving towards the two of them.

“What is it doing here?” Razant asked, turning and following after his friend. “It shouldn’t be here!”

“No idea.” Shade replied, “But it’s here, and it’s gaining!” He looked back at the cloud, moving steadily towards the two dragons.

The two of them ran from the cloud, they jumped over lava flows and tried to stay ahead of the black cloud.

“Shade…Hold up…I need …” Razant gasped. “I… can’t….”

Shade stopped and grabbed his friend by the wrist. “You are not giving me any of that crap right now.” Razant had trouble with running long distances, but usually it didn’t affect him, and right now with the Nightmare Fog coming at them, it would be a bad idea to stop now.

Shade began to pull Razant, slowing both of them down.

“Shade…You know…How it works…” Razant replied. “It won’t stop… Unless…”

“You are not giving up on me now!” Shade replied, “Now come on. We’re almost back at the…”

Razant growled at him. “Shade… Neither of us will make it back with me weighing you down.”

“I don’t care!” Shade replied. “We can fight off-”

“No Shade!” Razant shouted. “You have to leave me!”

“Raz I…” Shade replied.

Razant didn’t listen; he grabbed Shade by the wrist and twisted it, forcing him to release his grip. Then he grabbed Shade and threw him away so that Shade couldn’t stop him.

“Raz!” Shade shouted, looking at his friend as he ran back towards the dark cloud. “You’ll kill yourself!”

Shade picked himself up in time for two other Dragons to grab a hold of him and pull him back. “There’s nothing you can do.” One of them said to the thrashing dragon.

“I don’t care!” Shade replied. “I need to stop him! He’s going to kill himself!”

“It’s too late for that I’m afraid…” The other dragon replied, pointing towards the dark cloud, which had begun to recede, leaving a single Dragon behind.

“Raz!” Shade shouted squirming out of the soldiers grasp, running towards his friend. “Raz! Are you okay? You-” he stopped when he saw his friend.

He was on the ground, on all fours, looking at Shade with pure black eyes.

“Raz…?” Shade asked, his heart falling as he looked at him. He was no longer the friend he once knew, now there was nothing but a shell. “Raz… Please…”

His old friend snarled at him, bending his legs to pounce.

“I’m sorry…” Shade said, a tear forming in his eyes as he pulled out the curved dagger he kept on him, fearing what he had to do.

Raz jumped at him, intent to kill in his eyes, Shade caught him in the jump and threw him to the ground, he pinned him by his neck, raising the dagger.

“I’m so sorry…” Shade said as he plunged the dagger into his old friend’s neck, piercing the tough scales. Raz screamed and squirmed as Shade held the knife in place, stopping his old friend from managing to get out, all the while he was fighting tears. The crimson blood flowed over Shade’s clenched hand, as the creature that used to be his friend began to slow its struggles.

When the Dragon stopped its struggles and was lying still, Shade pulled the dagger from its neck and looked at his old friend; the black orbs receded from his eyes. And Shade kneeled down next to his old friend.

“I’m so sorry Razant…” Shade said through tears. “Please… Forgive me…” He began to feel the tears running down his face, but he felt a strange sensation in the back of his neck, telling him he was not alone.

He wheeled around, and felt his heart drop.

In front of him stood a pitch black Alicorn, clad in dark blue armor, her teeth replaced with serrated blades and her blue cat eyes staring back at him. Her mane was the same pitch black color as the Nightmare Fog, and she was laughing.

“N-n-No…” Shade stammered falling backwards. “Y-Y-You can’t be here!” He was struggling to understand as the Alicorn in front of him bent down to pounce. “You- You were destroyed!”

The Alicorn slowly walked towards him, her every foot fall resonating in Shade’s ears. “No!” He said as he backed against a small cliff. “No! You can’t exist!”

The Alicorn stopped, and jumped at him, her mouth opening as if to swallow him whole.

“NO!” Shade shouted, jolting awake. He jumped up from where he was, clinging to the ceiling with his hooves transformed into long claws, each one digging into the dry wall. He was shaking from fear.

“Just a dream… Just a dream…” He repeated to himself, trying to calm himself down. “Just…a…dream…”

He eventually let go of the ceiling, seeing as it now had eight long claw marks dug into it, Shade looked down at Sunspot, still curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly. Phew…

Shade flew down from the ceiling, his heart pounding, his mind racing, he needed to think, he wanted to walk outside, but…

“Oh fuck it.” Shade said under his breath, he walked over to the counter and tore a piece of blank paper from Twilight’s notebook. He grabbed an inkwell and a Quill and began to write on the paper.
Dear friends,

Went to Roof.

- Shade.

Admittedly it was a short note, but since Shade was inexperienced with writing with his mouth, it took about the whole page; he placed the cork back on the inkwell and attached the note to the small fridge with one of the few magnets Pinkie brought with her.

When that was finished, he walked back over to the window, opened it up, and flew out of it. He turned into Sunstreak the instant he was outside and flew straight up the building to land on the flat roof. When he was there, he laid down overlooking the city, and began to think back to the dream.

“I’m so sorry Raz…” Sunstreak said, a tear forming in his eyes. “One hundred years and I still can’t get over it…” He said to himself, wiping the tear away with his hoof.

He looked up at the now clear sky, the black background giving way to the brilliantly twinkling stars, each one blinking back at him. “Korak Pol, A Zallkoruk Mul” He said to himself, something Razant always used to say. ‘Kids play, and Commanders act.’ It was his way of saying that he acts before thinking.

“Why did you have to do that?” Sunstreak said. “Why Razant…?” Sunstreak was fighting back his tears. “Why did you have to leave me like that? You were like a brother to me.”

After a few minutes of Sunstreak sitting there by himself, he heard the flapping of wings from behind him.

“I don’t want to talk about it Rainbow…” He said without even turning to look. “I just need some time to myself.”

“Rough day?”

Sunstreak’s eyes widened. That’s not Rainbow… He turned to look at the entrant, he was a dark blue Pegasus with yellow catlike eyes, he was clad in a dark armor, and his bat-like wings were folding into his side. It was a member of the Lunar Guard.

“Uh…” Sunstreak replied, not sure how he should react in this situation. “Night officer…”

He gave a little salute. “So what are you doing up here?” He asked as he walked up to Sunstreak.

“I’m… I’m just thinking…” Sunstreak replied, he decided to act like he normally would, but that would turn out to be difficult if the bat pony knew about him.

“So like I said, Rough day?” The Lunar Guard asked again.

“More like rough life…” Sunstreak relied. “I’ve been beaten, battered, broken, betrayed, thrown in jail, almost blown up, and in the past month, I’ve had three attempts on my life.” Sunstreak turned back around and looked at the city. “Not to mention the memory I just had to relive.”

“Meaning what?” The guard asked.

Sunstreak sighed. “I had to kill my best friend…”

“Why is that?” The Lunar Guard asked, walking up to him.

“You’d probably throw me in jail because of it…” Sunstreak mumbled. “Short version, he went completely crazy, I had to put him down, or he would have killed me.” Sunstreak began to tear up again. “He was…my best friend…and I slaughtered him…Like a pig…” Sunstreak buried his face in his hooves.

He heard the Lunar Guard sigh, and heard the sound of metal hitting the stone building. “I know what it feels like, to lose somepony close to you.”

“I doubt it’s the same…” Sunstreak replied. “I couldn’t even live with myself for weeks, I cut everyone out of my life, and all I remember from those days was the blood as it…” Sunstreak couldn’t finish that sentence, the lump in his throat was stopping it.

“I may not have had something that bad happen, but I’ve seen lots of soldiers torn apart by creatures…” Sunstreak looked up towards the Pegasus, his eyes had returned to normal, though they still glowed yellow, they were rounded, and the fangs had receded. “Many of them were friends of mine. I had to deliver the message to their families… Seeing their foals… that was always the worst part.”

“And in a more recent example, my brother was badly injured in the invasion, he was…”

“What was his name?” Sunstreak asked.

“His name is Sunglider.”

Sunstreak couldn’t stop himself, he grabbed the guard and embraced him. “I’m so sorry! I’m So Sorry!”

The Lunar Guard had no idea how to react, he was surprised by the sudden embrace from this pony. So he just patted him on the back. “Hey. It’s okay…you don’t need to be sorry, he’s fine. Just…can’t remember us…”

“I’m sorry…” Sunstreak let go. “I’m just… I miss him…”

“What was your friends name?” The Pegasus asked.

“Razant.” Sunstreak replied. “He was a childhood friend of mine… We used to get into so much trouble.” Sunstreak chuckled. “There was one time, we found an old ballista from the Discord Wars, and it launched into a building, taking down about half of it, no one was injured thankfully. But we did get an earful from his uncle.”

“You two sound pretty close.” The Lunar Guard replied. “Almost like brothers.”

“We were…” Sunstreak replied. “We were practically brothers, except…” Sunstreak wiped away the tears forming in his eyes. “He gave his life to protect me… and in return… I…”

He felt a warm hoof around him. “It’s okay… You don’t have to tell me.”

The two sat like that for a few moments. Before Sunstreak looked up at him. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Night Glider.” He replied. “Lieutenant of the Lunar Guard.”

“Sunstreak.”

“Hey…I know that name from somewhere…” Night Glider replied. “Aren’t you supposed to be with somepony?”

“Uh…” Sunstreak replied. “I… I didn’t want to wake them up. So I left a note… and climbed out the window…”

Sunstreak was worried that he would get thrown in a jail cell, until of course Night Glider laughed. “I’ll tell you what Changeling, I’ll let it slide just this once, and only because I can understand why you’re out here.” He grabbed his helmet and placed it back on his head, his eyes turned to slits and fangs jutted from his upper lip. “But don’t let me catch you out here again or I will report to Shining Armor. Got it?”

Sunstreak nodded. “Thank you Lieutenant.”

“No thank you Sunstreak,. You are honestly trying to help my brother out of his…condition.” He spread his bat-wings. “Silver would never admit it, but he’s happy you’re helping us out here. He’s kind of… A hot head sometimes.”

“Tell me about it.” Sunstreak replied. “I was the one who was nearly blown up by him.”

“Oh yeah…” Night Glider chuckled. “I forgot about that. Well I’ve got work to do.” With that he took off leaving Sunstreak to look out over the city again.

“Someone’s looking out for me…” Shade said to himself, he looked up at the starry sky. “Dazhe V Smerti, Raz.”

Russian was often spoken between the two when they were young, a pastime they picked up. He had just said “Even in Death”

“Thanks Raz…” He let out another tear as he turned to look at the rest of the city.

Author's Note:

Repressed Memories HO!
Decided to take a look back on the repressed memory Shade had.
Also Any Russian Speakers or those knowledgeable in the language, please tell me that I did not screw up I'm not even going to lie about my inexperience with the language.

Comments

[Gargon94]

What a nice sad chapter.

[Razzy]

Huh. Do I see a job of Russians with torches and pitchforks garnering outside your house?

Also, them feels.

[Black--Soul]

This story hits depth and twistes that are beyond awe inspiring. would make it out with a sane mind in his situation i guess...

[Light Ascend]

“Someone’s looking out for me…” Shade said to himself, he looked up at the starry sky. “Dazhe V Smerti, Raz.”

Даже в смерти, Раз.