Chapter 4
The Great and Powerful Tristan was talented in many different fields.
Bluffing, boasting and telling tall tales were just some of his myriad gifts, and in a pinch he could tell a convincing lie to worm his way out of nearly any situation.
“Urk.”
At the moment, however, Tristan was half-dead on his hooves, and the aches and pains that were like paint splatters over his body detracted from his ability to think fast. If asked later, he would have admitted that at that moment, he was exhausted in more than one way: physically fatigued, mentally numb, magically drained, but above all, he didn’t want to keep up the façade any longer. This was the first time he had fought an Ursa. He had never even seen an Ursa Minor or Major before.
“I see,” Twilight said, looking away from Tristan and up at the stars. “There was no Ursa Major in Hoofington, was there.”
“No, there wasn’t,” Tristan replied. “Hoofington was where I grew up. After I entered the show biz, I requested ponies there to back me up if anypony from out of town asked whether it had actually occurred.”
“Thinking ahead, then,” Twilight marveled, still facing away. “But then, it was always meant for entertainment purposes only, right?”
“Yes. I never thought it would get so out of hand like, well, this.”
“Welcome to Ponyville,” Twilight said, thinking of near-misses with a bunny stampede and a cow stampede, mass poisoning by baked bads, and a frenzy to get a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala, all coming after Nightmare Moon chose the town to make her reappearance. That was excluding the antics the Cutie Mark Crusaders had already gotten up to in such a small time together. The poor librarian had no idea how true that refrain would become in the years to come.
“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Tristan said, trotting ahead to stand next to Twilight again. “Hoofington is on the other end of the Everfree Forest, and we had big incidents like this from time to time. Never an Ursa, er, Minor wandering into town, though. That makes me wonder now just how big an Ursa Major is.”
Twilight rolled her eyes at that last comment, “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” There were very few verbal accounts of ponies who had seen an Ursa Major, but all described it as reaching the very stars itself, towering over all but the largest mountains.
Tristan paused, hyping himself up to do one of the hardest things he had ever done: admit his gratitude. “Still, you saved me. How can I ever repay you?”
“You won’t have to worry too much about that, or your wagon. You did do the job of getting it all the way out to its cave,” Said Twilight. Then again, she thought to herself, there was a way he could repay her personally, “But if you really want…”
Tristan had been looking away, fidgeting on his hooves in continuing awkward embarrassment. As such, he was totally caught off guard when moist warm lips contacted his own, and he nearly jumped. Twilight didn’t let him move away, however, keeping herself pressed against him.
The stallion thought about resisting it, but then he shivered. Unlike the other tremors that shot through his spine that night, this was one of pleasure. Tristan relaxed into the kiss, embracing the warm tingling that was a tidebreaker to the pain that had been washing over him earlier, the cool night sky now just a distant memory.
Tristan kept his eyes closed, willing the moment to last forever. In actual fact, he wanted to go further, roll down and roll over into the hay with this wonderful pony, but he knew his injuries would flare up if he did. Oh Princesses, being on the road meant it had been forever since he had last kissed a mare.
At last, they parted, and he regretted nothing more, even as his lungs sucked in delicious life-giving air again.
“Some more of that,” Twilight Sparkle said, purple eyes glittering mischievously, “And maybe a date when you’re recovered.” Flicking her tail, she started walking again to town.
For once, Tristan felt at a loss for words, his cheeks growing hot as he followed this frustrating mare who confused him.
Rainbow Dash sat in the trees, looking up at the stars. While not much for book knowledge, the constellations of the sky were an important thing in Pegasus culture, who could always see the stars no matter what the weather was like. If she squinted, she could just pick out the Ursa Major constellation.
“Should I, or shouldn’t I?” She thought aloud to herself about revealing what she had overheard to others.
It was a no-brainer, “Nah!” Hers was the Element of Loyalty, and to betray somepony who had intended to sacrifice his life to save a town full of strangers went against everything Rainbow Dash was.
Just a few more minutes, then she would hop off, and make her way to the hospital to get herself checked out. Tristan looked like he had been through the mad science lab at the Weather Factory in Cloudsdale, but she hadn’t escaped entirely unscathed either. Rainbow Dash shuddered at the thought of being squeezed in the Ursa’s grip, her life blood being popped out of her body like the gooey insides of a marshmallow oozing out the ends after it had been cooked over a campfire. Rainbow Dash had an inkling she would have a few troubled nights over the next few weeks.
In that moment when their eyes had met, she had felt kinship with the stallion. The two of them both had a single-minded passion for their talent, their art, and enjoyed showing off for others. They both exaggerated and went a little overboard, but when danger struck, both Rainbow Dash and Tristan would sacrifice themselves. It had been heart-wrenching to fly off, knowing he would die, and only spotting Twilight and telling her of the Ursa ahead had averted certain disaster.
Rainbow Dash thought about pursuing Tristan, but relegated that to her fantasies. Twilight Sparkle had already expressed a little bit of an interest, and Dash, at this point, had little time for romance, even for flings. She was still training hard to get into the Wonderbolts. Who knows? She might even be able to pull off that legendary Sonic Rainboom again.
In the end, the final injury list had been mercifully small. Upon encountering Rainbow Dash, Tristan learned she had taken a little bit of a backlash from the second thundercloud, overriding even her tribe’s natural immunity to electricity. Between that and a sprained wing she had incurred when the Ursa had grabbed her, Rainbow Dash had been given clearance for a couple of days off.
Outside of the sheer physical exhaustion he felt, Tristan had numerous visible nicks and cuts all across his skin, the result of his mad dash through the forest over wrecked trees, and multiple tumbles during that time. It had taken a visit to the doctor to verify a couple of cracked ribs as well. The doctor and nurse had tied off some gauze and tape around his chest and back, leaving him rather trussed with a white midsection where there was normally blue fur.
Tristan had worried he might have damaged his magic with the intensity of the spells he had been throwing at the Ursa, going past the point where his horn had nearly shorted out with pain. A specialist had come out of Canterlot to examine him within the day. It seemed saving a town from a monster attack meant you got looked at immediately instead of waiting a few weeks for an appointment. Fortunately, the doctor had pronounced him alright, outside of warning him not to attempt any magic for a few days, and to work steadily back up to any intense performances in the future. Although a little bit of property had been damaged, only Tristan and Rainbow Dash had received any harm from that night.
Oh, and three fillies that had gotten coated in tree sap when an Ursa Minor had scraped some of it off its arms and thrown it away, tossing it far enough to reach Ponyville.
“Twilight, are you ready?” Tristan called up the stairs, impatiently tapping a hoof against the floor several times a second.
“Relax,” Spike said, standing next to him. “She was probably ready half an hour ago, I bet she’s just triple-checking all her checklists.” As it had been the first time he had watched Twilight go out with a stallion, the little dragon had felt it his responsibility, in lieu of Twilight’s actual big brother, to be the protective big brother and threaten Tristan over treating her right. The older male had shrugged it off, but was a little bit wary of Spike, given that he was a dragon after all.
Tristan just rolled his eyes, looking at his one leg, where he had donned a watch obtained from the local watch-maker in gratitude. “I have reservations for five minutes from now,” He grumbled. As a smaller town, Ponyville didn’t really have any high-class restaurant that required reservations months ahead of time, and showing up a few minutes late was hardly a societal misstep. There was still the principle of the matter. Deciding to do something in his remaining spare time, he used his magic to lift up a small hoofmirror and go over his appearance once again.
As all his belongings had been wrecked by the Ursa Minor, Tristan had had to accept the generosity of the townsponies in replacing his goods. Though he was waiting for a new wagon, he had gotten outfitted by Rarity with a couple of new suits. Keeping the cravat that he usually liked to wear, Rarity had designed a suit that went down to his front hooves and along his torso, terminating halfway along his body just shy of his Cutie Mark and leaving his back legs uncovered. In homage to the hat and cape that had been lost, the suit was purple with stars in all sizes and colours.
Tristan liked it. Not only did it match his old hat and cape, but it also covered up the bandages he was wearing around his midsection, so only a tiny bit of white peeped out from the end of the suit. Now he had to make sure it was free of wrinkles.
“I’m ready, oh I hope we’re not late now!”
Tristan swallowed down the smart-aleck comment he wanted to make. While the relationship between him and Twilight Sparkle was confusing, not quite approaching marefriend and coltfriend but hardly in the realm of ‘just friends’, Tristan knew snarky comments could ruin their bond quick. He didn’t want that. Twilight Sparkle was, after all, one of those mares who had transcended that designation. Instead, he looked up the stairs, where she was walking down.
In the literary world, it was cliché for a stallion to be rendered speechless the first time they saw a mare in a pretty dress, or perhaps fumbling for words, or even star-struck. Tristan was none of those, but it didn’t take away from the genuine happiness he felt at seeing her in a dress. It was a little bit fancy for the occasion, a blue dress with multiple flower petal emblems stitched in on the ends, but Rarity was not a pony with analog expectations: she either did the absolute best she could, or she didn’t do a dress at all. It was still mesmerising, and Tristan would tell Rarity as much later. After the dress, Twilight had apparently gone to the spa earlier in the day, and had her hair tied up in a bun.
“You look good,” Tristan remarked, “Don’t worry, we still have a few minutes, Twilight. The diner’s not far, so if we keep a good trotting pace we’ll get there with time to spare.”
“But,” He added as Twilight came down the stairs, “One more thing.” Levitating a rose he had obtained earlier, he put it in her hair towards the left side of the hair, before lifting up the mirror for her to see the result, “How does it look?”
Twilight smiled, and his heart started to thump.
“Do ya really gotta go, Mistah Tristan?”
“Yeah, can’t you stay around?!”
“…”
“Now now Sweetie Belle, don’t cry,” Tristan teased the unicorn filly, who had been silent but looked set to break it with a sob. He brought up his hoof to wipe off an unshed tear. “I’ll be back within two months, promise.”
“W-weally?” Sweetie Belle’s voice had cracked up, and she was beginning to lisp.
“Yes,” Tristan said, and he meant it. When he did, however, it would still only be for a few weeks at the most. Tristan was a free soul, one prone to wandering the lands and oceans. Magic may have been his talent, but wanderlust was what truly made him. Still, this time he had something extra to tie him to a place other than being where he had grown up in.
The stallion had been a little wary of the Cutie Mark Crusaders after the events that led up to them bringing an Ursa Minor into town, but he had been assured by two of the three’s older sisters that they would never do such a thing again. Apparently, getting splattered with tree sap was a terrific form of negative reinforcement for them. After talking with some of the other adults in town, Tristan decided he would forgive them for it.
As he attached his harness to his body and started out of town, getting used to the balance on the new wagon, he stopped again. He had already said his goodbyes, but Twilight Sparkle seemed to still want to get one last goodbye in.
“So you’re leaving,” Twilight said, the same words she had used to lead off their conversation from a few days ago. This time, however, she was far more optimistic.
“Yes,” Tristan assured her. “I’ll be learning the spell matrix for sending a letter directly to Spike, but it’ll take me more than a few days, the magic for it is fiendishly complicated. Until then, I’m sure Muffins would be more than happy to deliver you any mail I send.”
“Happy to knock over all the shelves in my library as well,” Twilight deadpanned. “Then again, I suppose Rainbow Dash does that enough times on her own too.”
“Hey!”
“Take care, Tristan,” Twilight tilted her face up to give him a quick peck on the cheek, ignoring Rainbow Dash, who was doing a poor job of eavesdropping from a cloud above.
“I’ll be sure to do that,” Tristan said, “And tell Rainbow Dash I’ll send her letters as well.” He continued the charade for the poor pegasus’ benefit. In the wake of the Ursa Minor’s attack on Ponyville, Tristan had been aware of a very odd triangle developing between the three of them. Having talked with Twilight over it, the two decided they would let Rainbow Dash decide on her own terms and time when she would come forward and pursue him. Until then, he would do his best to treat her as a good friend.
“Then I’ll do that,” said Twilight, walking the blue-furred stallion along the road leading south out of Ponyville. “You replaced your bandages this morning?” She asked, looking at the fresh wrapping he had around his torso.
“Yes,” He affirmed, his legs growing heavier with every step, but Tristan continued trotting.
“Then this is goodbye for now,” Twilight said, and he was silent. Twilight took this as her cue to continue talking, “It’s funny, you know. I felt so listless a few weeks ago, like I was missing something. Then you came, and despite that first day, you provided an excitement that’s made me feel alive since then.”
“You take a Canterlot mare out of the palace and put her in a small town, adjusting can be hard,” Tristan at last commented, having heard all about her life over the last few weeks.
“Yes. So, I suppose what I’m saying,” And this time she kissed him directly on the lips, causing him to halt long enough to enjoy the sensation and return it back. The two stayed like that for several seconds before Twilight broke away, “Is don’t be a stranger and come back soon.”
“Y-yes, I will. That’s a Pinkie Promise,” Tristan said, already making plans to scour some of the book markets in Manehatten before he returned to Ponyville. Feeling the conversation at an end, he resumed his light, lazy pace, the lighter weight of the new wagon a heaven-sent blessing for his body, out-of-shape from two weeks of resting up.
As the road steadily turned from a flat, paved path to the dirt trails that linked most of the smaller towns and villages of Equestria in a spider’s web network, Tristan found himself looking up at the morning sun. At one time, the bringer of daylight had seemed anathema to him. His very Cutie Mark included the moon, and fireworks were always more impressive at night. Now? Now, knowing somepony who was the personal student of the embodiment of the Sun had given him a new appreciation for Her Majesty the Daystar. Rainbow Dash’s opinion of taking a snooze while basking in the sun’s radiance also helped.
No other town had quite affected him like Ponyville. Of course, no other town had sicced an Ursa Minor on him either. And while Tristan had engaged in a few quick flings over his years on the road, no other town had ensnared him, with not one but two romantic interests waiting for him to get back home.
All this and more, he thought about as he continued walking to the next town, and then the next, and the next, until he returned to his hometown of Hoofington. And when he was done there, all roads would someday end at Ponyville.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- ferret · 45k words · 52 10 · 1.5k views
- G r e y · 2.4k words · 36 7 · 1.8k views
- Zeck · 6.7k words · 55 0 · 2k views
- Moon Glow · 17k words · 33 4 · 2k views
- RarityEQM · 12k words · 38 1 · 1k views
- JeckParadox · 15k words · 65 1 · 2.1k views
- dramatic_spoon · 1.7k words · 99 11 · 2.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.119 seconds
Total duration
1,044 users online
1,831,823 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well worth the read.
If you could turn it into a series, that would be great. I love this take on Trixie/Tristian's personality, and I want to see what the other elements of harmony think about her coltfriend.
The ending seems a little to much like a cliffhanger to me.
Not too sure of the last minute romance (in fact, giving how this story evolved, you could probably remove that description entirely), but at least Tristan and Twilight didn't immediately jump in the sack together. I guess you could interpret Twilight's improvised kiss as a thank you and it grew from there. There was some time after the Ursa for them to spend together, so that makes it a little more tolerable.
And Rainbow Dash gets some great and powerful mixed feelings after all this.
A much nicer ending for this world's Trixie than the show's. Probably no Magic Duel, unless Tristan stumbles upon the amulet, it corrupts him to have jealous feelings of Twilight being better at magic than him (maybe they had a heated argument?), and he seeks to beat her to prove his worth. Something to think about, anyway.
If you do a sequel, I'd add more Spike interaction, since the little guy is a very important part of Twilight's life. He'd have a say in this in some way.
Overall, I enjoyed myself and look forward to anymore stories involving these characters you created.
Good story. Have a like.
6705258
I agree what Pharohman777 says it would be indeed interesting if this became a series.
I found the story rather good and enjoyable to read through. The romance came actually out of nowhere. Perhaps it would have been better if the previous chapters had subtly hinted a bit more about Twilight starting to have a crush on him. I mean you could have slowly build it up to the readers a bit more. But that is a small nitpick.
Overall good story and I hope to read more about Tristan.
This was an interesting take on the Trixie character, however the ending felt a bit rushed. There was never any real explanation or resolution of why Tristan is so dismissive of mares, which makes the romance plot seem out of place. You did a good job explaining Twilight's feelings towards Tristan and it was somewhat believable for her to develop feelings for him, but there doesn't seem to be anything showing why he would feel the same way towards Twilight. You mentioned it yourself in the Author's Note that Rainbow seemed like a better match, and I agree. It feels like Tristan went from "stupid mare," to "I want to come back to spend more time with you" in the span of a few hours without really any explanation. Perhaps another chapter to flesh out Tristan's thought on Twilight would fit better.
And there is the little issue of Trixie being Twilight's rival that the fandom so loves and made as her defining characteristic. It's not really expressed whether or not Twilight is even more powerful than Tristan or what he thinks of her magical ability. I don't think she even tells him in this story that her cutie marks is for magic as well as being the Element of Magic. You would think that a stallion as proud of his talent for magic as Tristan is written would have an interesting reaction towards learning this, which would also play an important role in the romance subplot.
All in all this was a well written story and entertaining. I would definitely read a sequel with Tristan.
True, but the reason why he's able to bypass those feelings at the end should still be explained.
If you don't want him to have a tragic backstory more power to you, but he has a chip on his shoulder and he goes from carrying that chip to it being gone for Twilight and Rainbowdash without much of a mention.
I like the story but it was too rushed to be a good romance. A prequel to a romance maybe, but Twilight and Rainbowdash go from Hate to love too fast. It feels like you really wanted to stop writting it halfway through.
My suggestions in hindsight:
Flesh out the story with more chapters or finish it where it falls and leave it open to sequels.
Needs either more inbetween the end of the Ursa aftermath and Tristan leaving or less with the possibility of more later.
What an elegant ending to such a rough start for everyone. So, now you'll give us a romance love triangle story with Tristain, Rainbow, and Sparkle?
Wow. I really liked this take of Trixie. I hope to read more about him and Ponyville. Have a like and a fav.
To put it simply, I enjoyed this. It had a good level of detail, and it was a fairly believable story that went into alot of detail, especially the fight scene with the Ursa.
I will, however, say that the biggest flaw of this story was using the name Tristan instead of Trickster for a male Trixie. That is just abhorrent and wrong.
I do agree that the romance between Twilight and Tristan was really out of the blue. It seemed alot more likely for Dash to be interested in him that way than anything else. Twilight really disliked him at the library, then sees him nearly kill himself trying to protect the town, and then decides she wants to date him. Something was really missed in translation here.
Although, the same can be said of Dash, funny enough. But, well, Dash also has the factor that they both have a closer personality type, so it's easier for them to relate. Plus, Dash was saved by him and throughout the battle they really seemed to connect and know what the other was thinking with barely a few words. The scene of Dash leaving Tristan to die at the end was quite powerful.
While a sequel would be interesting, I am not sure how well that would go over if you were trying to be canon-ish with this. His home is gone, his reputation is meant to be tattered in some way, and he is forced to work at a rock farm. Hmm...it has potential in a dark/sad kinda way. But since the Ursa never made it to town it would be...difficult to go with that angle. So, actually, I am good with it as a single story as well.
I suppose it would mostly be about the relationship between him and Dash and Twi, which isn't a bad thing, but, considering this is fantasy i'm reading, I'd rather have a female Trixie in those situations.
Don't judge me.
6744875 Does it mention in my plot synopsis Tristan is supposed to be an antagonist? It does state multiple plot changes.
Tristan used the rainbow essence from earlier. Did he store it in the wagon that got destroyed? The wagon destroyed enough for Rarity to have to make him a new outfit because even clothes were destroyed?
6877206 if you read the beginning of Chapter 3 again you'll notice this line again at the end of the second paragraph:
So no, he had the bottle on him.
That was good fun
And, uh, did you end up writing some sort of cloppy bit?
7084166 No(t yet). I'm considering doing an alternate ending with Tristan x Rainbow Dash shipping instead, and then I might do a two-fer clop.
Tricksy writerses... :v
need sequel where more twilight and Tristan sex?
I felt like you threw a curve ball at me. You mentioned in your notes that you had a hard time writing this chapter, and it did feel a bit forced. I think you were right that it was missing indication that Twilight was attracted to him before it went... boom!
The way you describe the moments are wonderful, and thank you for not turning it into a clop-fic.
8290295
Honestly, I'd like to write an alternate ending for this some day. By the end of chapter 3, it felt like Tristan should more have been shipped with Rainbow Dash instead of Twi, and it feels more organic.
That, and change Tristan's name to Polaris since it's a name that works on so many levels (Polaris is the north start, part of the Ursa Minor constellation, and it keeps in the astronomy theme naming of Twilight's counterparts)
Well that was REALLY abrupt, but okay!
9792070
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I really didn't land the ending very well. I was determined to end with some light Tristan and Twilight Sparkle romance. If I had actually written to how the story was going organically, it really should have been Tristan and Rainbow Dash. One of these days I really do want to try an alternate ending with that concept since that would have been the better fit.
9792244
Yeah, probably for the best. Twilight just went from 0-100 with him in chapter 2. Still don't get what was up with that