Rainbow Dash needs a favor, She just needs one of her friends to help her with a small little lie she told. It's really not even a big deal, over and done with in no time. Like barely a cliff note in their day, nothing major. So why did she call a meeting for this? And why does she look nervous?
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Cute concept; really stands to benefit from a proofreader though.
Well, that's one way to ask a friend out. That being said... I approve!
This deserves more readers.
Pretty darn good! I agree with @Frizzy
good story so far thoe do to the fact discord was in the first chapter im picturing him spying on rainbow and rarity and being discord and "helping"
Great chapter, to be honest I wasn't actually expecting a update. I mean you should have seen my face when I saw your story in my 10/10 folder with an unread chapter, it kinda looked like this at first
then transformed into 
. Can't wait to see what the next chapter has in store for little scoots, I'm sure it's gonna be interest.
In the canon show Rainbow has a flash back with her father in the episode. Idk if ya didn't know or was just spinning it to fit your story, either way it's not to big of a deal. Oh and one more thing, it seems as though you indent some but not all your paragraphs. Indentation isn't really necessary, personally I prefer it, but it's always good to keep it uniformed. So you could work with one or the other.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/040/b/a/sad_rainbow_dash_with_her_father_by_mrsp4rkl3-d5udkay.png
Outside of that your a solid writer, and your grammar is spot on as far as I'm concerned. Still if you need or want any help with proofreading or keeping to canon, you can always give me a buzz. I'd be glad to help when I can.
My RariDash buttons have been PUSHED!
sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.M8dac02dc37eb9b4fad4bd3d7fa78e1bdo0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=325&h=183
7081996 Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it. The thing with the indents is just a habit, I try to indent paragraphs that don't start with someone talking, while lines or paragraphs that begin with someone talking I leave alone, it's a strange habit and I'm not sure where I got it. I'm going to try keeping it all uniformed in the next chapter and see how I feel about it.
Also, I actually didn't know about that flashback and I thank you for letting me know. I think I'm going to keep the story the way it is, with Rainbow Dash not knowing her birth parents, while I do want to try and stick to cannon as best I can this is one detail I'm going to twist for my story. I appreciate your offer for proof reading but I like to write on my own and if I make mistakes I prefer to fix them myself, Just knowing you enjoy my story is helpful enough. Thank you.
7082377 Yea, it took me about a season and a half and twelve fan fics about him for me to realize that he actually appeared in a show... Just not in some fic writers head, lol.
Also koo beans on the proofreading or what not, I'm exactly the same way... None of my seven stories have been actually proofread or edited by anyone else besides me before publishing, simply because when I write, it's just for my twisted sense of enjoyment.
Now that's what you call a bonus chapter.
I actually like how into the idea Pinkie was. It made even more sense after how worried she was about Dash before she arrived. I would imagine Pinkie may be a bit disappointed that she does not get to date Dashie.
Really enjoyed the story so far :-D
The originality of this story keeps getting me with each chapter, keep it up!
Ahhh! I loved it!
Hmm, a twin brother you say... I wonder if ya'll share similar writing abilities as well?
7169009
Go ahead and see the first four chapters are up. I'm sure he'd like to know what you think.
I have a feeling that we haven't seen the last of Blue butt...
You may of been unsure of the chapter but I feel it went quite well, it didn't feel out of place and was enjoyable as I could easily imagine it all as I went along reading. And I wonder how rarity will react in the morning haha
You know, you are doing an amazing job of perfectly capturing the personality of everypony, especially in regards to the newer episodes. So congrats on that!
The pot gets sweeter and the ball still rolling, keep it going kid, keep it going!
I'll be forwarding my insulin bills to you, because that chapter gave me diabetes.
Morning Dew wants to see all her little chickens matched up before she goes
Ooooh can't wait for whats next.
First true kiss could have been in this one... but I like what you did better
Just go full french already
7292801 Patience, everything takes time.
OH, this is a big chapter, I'll have to save this one for tonight.
while im liking this story and making RD adopted was a verry good tuoch and heartwarming
i do have 1 thing to say scootaloo is likely disabled and will never be able to fly (ill still read the story just saying)
7325557 Thanks for your input, glad you're liking the story so far.
But about Scootaloo being Disabled. You think she is? I guess I hadn't really thought about it like that but it does make sense, though I can imagine her stubbornly trying even if she is. As far as this story goes though, While Rainbow and Scootaloo will continue practicing, I won't actually have Scootaloo fly in this story.
But again, thank you for your input.
got up todate with the story finally i expected you to have discord make a protal so RD's mom could watch the show
also why have you made trixie so much more powerfull than she is in the show i mean i dont mind its just odd
Finally caught up and this is really good, keep up the good work!
7335941 A portal to watch the show? I wish I'd thought of that. Would it be forced if I just had her mention that next time she shows up? Probably. that's my bad.
As for how powerful Trixie's illusion magic is. My reasoning is that she has been practicing her magic for a long time in an attempt to keep up with Twilight. I guess I hadn't really thought about just how impressive it all really was. Though I wouldn't say she's super powerful she's just practiced really hard and even still it did take a lot out of her.
7343160 ting is in the show we know she is not verry good at actual magic just stage magic (no 2nd prances told us this)
and no having her mention discord doing it would not be forced at all could even make a bonus chapter showing it
7343187 As far as the Trixie in this story goes you're not going to see her doing anything terribly impressive beyond illusions. My idea for her character is that illusions are her specialty, because their not real. Their tricks, deceptions, lies, whatever you want to call them. These tricks are what she's good at, hence the name Trixie. That may not line up exactly with the show but it's what I'm going with.
Her illusions(Tricks) are impressive but as far as other kinds of magic goes, she's not very great. That's why she used illusions for the show, because she's good at them.
I hope that makes sense.
7343559 oh it does i was just commenting that in the show she has no real magic skills is all im fine with all of this justwas saying is all
7343652 Oh, OK. Thank you.
"Rainbow Dash, I have a surprise for you. It's child labor!"
In all seriousness, I love this chapter. You may call it just a bonus, but it really gives a whole new perspective on the previous chapter to the point I think it wouldn't be complete without this.
Hmm, personally I'd say yay, it'd be an interesting to see how you'd write Rarity in a situation when she realizes the scar is permanent. Not to mention it would make a great plot device for you to use at any convenient time. But whatever ya may do, it'll all be koo with me, just keep up ya great work. Lol, ya are inspiring me to dust off some of my old fics and start working again. Also as far as your head cannon goes, it generally accepted that the mane six floats around early to mid twenties. I've seen a few fics that had either Pinkie ofrDash nearly three to four years younger than the rest, but they are far and few in-between.
OoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOH MAH GAWD
That was perfect
...
Rainbow you sly vixen, you should've went with the knock knock joke with Rarity.
I like how you said this was optional when it adds so much to the story.
This was so sweet i'm going to take an insulin shot just to stay safe.
7349677 She had to get her to make a cloud somehow.
And I know this chapter does give some perspective on the previous one but I call it a bonus chapter simply because it doesn't take place at the same time as the actual story, it happened years ago. But I'm really glad you liked it.
7350213 She was afraid it was to soon.
And I know, this chapter adds more than I thought it would when I started writing it. But things can change while your making them. For the better like this time.
OMG! PLEASE MORE!
7350154 Thanks for your input, I appreciate it. I'm still planning the next chapter but seeing comments and knowing people like my story really helps motivate me so thank you again.
And if I inspired you somehow, well I'm glad I could help
The Amulet lingers...
AWWW, your still toying with my Heartstrings... I surely thought after the last chapter things would start heating up between the two, you just threw a bucket of ice on me.
Well played.
Why are you saying that as if you weren't absolutely correct?
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7446952 wow now I feel stupid, I totally blanked on that. I couldn't remember a moment where I saw her use it.
7452168 If that's what you want it to be, feel free to think that. I didn't really plan it to be anything to specific, so let's have fun and say you're right.
Don't you dare do what I think you are about to...