• Published 4th Jun 2012
  • 28,471 Views, 2,512 Comments

Rainbooms and Royalty - Trinary

Alternate Universe: Filly Rainbow Dash has just performed her Sonic Rainboom when she gets a visitor

  • ...

The End

& & &

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Only a twitch of her ears let Princess Celestia know that Rainbow Dash had heard her.

The two had spent most of the night enjoying each others' company, telling stories, laughing, crying and working to repair the breach than had come between them. Dawn had came and went before the two of them had finished. It was afterwards that Rainbow Dash had built up the courage to tell Celestia of her future plans.

She nodded, after letting shaking off some stray thoughts. “Yeah, I’m sure.” The young pegasus said at last. “I mean, this isn’t going to be forever! It’s not like I can’t come back and visit, maybe sleep over sometimes—if that’s okay with you, I mean.”

“Of course it is.” Celestia walked over and gently nuzzled Rainbow’s cheek. “You will always have a place, and a home, in Canterlot with me. You needn’t ever ask.”

“Heh, thank you.” Rainbow smiled back. “Ponyville’s just a short flight away…besides, I figure you and Luna need some time alone to reconnect as sisters and stuff. Probably be easier if I wasn’t there.”

“I think you underestimate yourself, but it is your decision to make.” Celestia looked up at the city of Canterlot, clinging to the mountain side. “On the other hoof, I imagine that between you and Luna, the two of you would drive my long suffering staff and guards to mutiny.” They shared a chuckle.

Rainbow laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to stop by and teach Luna some modern-day pranks.” She gave a wink that had any of Celestia’s servants, staff or guards been there to see it, they would’ve fainted dead away.

For her part, Celestia affected a look of mock-horror and made as if she were trembling in her horseshoes. The sight was so comical it sent Rainbow Dash into peals of laughter, which made the Princess smile and chuckle herself.

Turning serious for a moment, Rainbow walked up and gently rested her head against Celestia’s side, not pulling away when the alicorn’s wing draped itself over her back and drawing her in closer. “Please don’t feel sad. I just want to build up my reputation on my own for a bit. Go my own way. Work on my routine out here in the wide open air without worrying about clipping a wing on a tower or banner. Make sure that when the Wonderbolts start looking my way they do it because I’m, you know, Rainbow Dash not because…”

“…not because of your connections to me.” Celestia supplied. “I understand.”

Dash gave her an encouraging grin. “It’s a pegasus thing.” She shrugged “Wanting to leave the nest and fly solo for a while...”

“…but they always come back.” Celestia smiled, feeling buoyed by the thought. “It’s fine Rainbow Dash, truly. I am so glad that you were able to make such wonderful friends here in Ponyville. Have you given any thought to where you will stay though?”

“Let’s see…between Applejack’s farm, Fluttershy’s cottage, and Ditzy’s house, I think I have choices to spare. At least until I can put together a sweet cloud house of my own.”

Celestia nodded. “I can arrange for your things to be brought to you, once you’re settled in. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Biting her lip, Rainbow nodded. “Yeah…remember Fancy Pants’ offer? About watching the Wonderbolts from his box? I was thinking that maybe my friends and I could stop in now and again to watch….and maybe even invite Tiffany and her crew: Serena, Starburst, Royal Blue, that lot.” She looked like she had swallowed something decidedly unpleasant that was trying to crawl back up and out of her mouth.

“That sounds like a wonderful gesture.” The princess nodded in approval. “I am very proud of you.”

“Well, don’t go expecting me and Tiffany to become best friends or anything. I just figured that I guess I should try to make up for…you know. If she still thinks I’m ‘not worthy’ or whatever, it’s no feathers off my wings.”

“At the very least, I’m sure Fancy Pants will be grateful for your company.” Celestia said diplomatically.

Rainbow Dash nodded vaguely. “It just stinks that Twilight will be back in Canterlot while the rest of us are out here.” She mumbled. “I don’t want to leave her alone either but…”

“You don’t want to leave the rest of your friends either.” Celestia nodded understandingly. “I think I may be able to be of some assistance.”

Looking up hopefully, Rainbow smiled eagerly. “Really?”

“Oh yes. You see, while I may approve of you living in Ponyville that does NOT mean that your studies will be allowed to slacken. Since I will be remaining in Canterlot it will be cumbersome for me to try and remain your teacher on a day to day level. However…” she smiled toothily, making Rainbow Dash gulp nervously. “I may be able to delegate some of my duties to somepony else: a bright, talented, studious unicorn for instance, who I am sure will be acing her final examinations at the School for Gifted Unicorns in a matter of days.” Celestia tilted her eyebrow upwards. “I think Twilight Sparkle would make for an excellent teacher’s aide and tutor for you while you’re in Ponyville. Don’t you agree?”

“All right!” Rainbow somersaulted in mid-air, delighted at the chance to keep the gang together…even if part of her groaned at prospect of having the brainy unicorn put in charge of her studies.

Celestia smiled. “I am glad you feel that way. In addition to your normal studies, I would ask that you keep me posted about any findings you make as you and your friends explore the magic of friendship.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. Then paused. “Um, are you sure Twilight will say yes? I really don’t want you to force her to go if she doesn’t want to and I’m sure she’ll miss her folks…and Shining Armor.” More softly, she added. “I know I will.”

“It’s all right. I will not make Twilight Sparkle choose something that she has not decided for herself. I am merely opening a door for her. The decision to go through will be hers and hers alone. That said, I am rather confident that she will say yes. Having finally made friends after going so long without any, I am sure that Twilight will not want to lose her friends anymore than you did.” Celestia paused. “In fact, if memory serves the Ponyville Golden Oaks Library is currently un-staffed. Something, which I suspect might be the cause of its rather…confusing shelving system. I am sure I can arrange something with the Mayor to give Twilight a home and position in the library. Which reminds me…” The princess gave Rainbow Dash a gentle look. “If you wish to live in Ponyville, you must be a contributing citizen. I cannot simply drop you off with a bag of bits.”

Rainbow Dash groaned. “Get a job? On top of my training and my studies?”

She nodded. “Those are my terms.”

“Fiiiine….” Rainbow Dash sighed. Then her eyes lit up. “Can you do me one last favor? It’s actually not even so much for me…”

Celestia listened as her student explained. She smiled widely. “Done.”

& & &

A sudden knock at the door caught Ditzy Doo in the middle of serving Dinky breakfast (three guesses what it was).
When she saw who it was, her eyes lit up. “Rainbow Dash, hi! Come on in!”

“Hey Ditzy. Hey squirt.” She smiled breezily as she stepped in.

“Hmm hmmbuh mss!” Dinky said around a mouthful of breakfast, waving happily before reaching for a glass of milk.

Ditzy smiled. “Care to join us?” Rainbow nodded and sat down. “What brings you by?” She asked as she shut the door.

Rainbow Dash just smiled enigmatically. “Turns out I’m gonna be staying in town for a bit longer than expected. Celestia’s cool with me living in Ponyville.”

“Yaay!” Dinky cheered. Her mother had told her that Rainbow Dash would be her godmom and the little filly was delighted. “You’re staying, you’re staying!”

Ditzy smiled. “That’s great news Rainbow!”

“Yeah, and I got some more great news!” The blue pegasus beamed. “Ditzy? You’re fired.”

“Hoora—wait, what?!” The poor mare was thunderstruck, both by the news and the cheerful way in which her friend delivered it.

Rainbow winked. “Yep!” Her smile was downright cherubic. Ditzy’s face fell. “I’m going to be new weathermare for Ponyville. Heh, I hear Cloud Kicker's on the weather team, that right? Haven't seen her since flight camp.” She shrugged. “Oh well. I guess the only thing left for you to do will be your mailmare stuff…oh and your new position in the weather office.”

The poor gray mare looked even more confused than she normally did, blinking in puzzlement. “M-my new position? In the weather office?” That…that was actually a step up from her old job. She was getting a promotion?

“Oh yeah.” Dash shrugged nonchalantly. “They need somepony to be in charge of the paperwork: requisition forms, weather reports. Pretty boring if you ask me, but I guess that’s why it pays better than simply pushing a cloud around all day.”

“It…it does.” Ditzy nodded numbly.

“Yeah, like what? Two, maybe three times as much?” Rainbow tapped a hoof against her chin. “Sounds about right to me. As long as the paperwork gets done you can practically make your own hours.” Ditzy’s jaw dropped. “Normally you’d still be out in the field, but I think we can swing it that I can cover most of your field work—more training and pay for me—without it cutting into your own paycheck. That is, if you think you’d be interes—OOF!” She found herself knocked the ground by the impassioned glomp of Ditzy who was on the verge of tears, thanking her profusely.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Ditzy wrapped Rainbow Dash up in a mammoth hug that threatened to smother the younger pegasus. Dinky meanwhile had leaped from her seat at the table and landed on her mother’s back, adding to the pile with a giggle. Rainbow Dash smiled, but groaned under the weight. If this sort of thing kept up, it’d totally ruin her reputation and her spinal column. Oh well. Maybe this wouldn’t become a thing.

& & &

“RAINBOW DASH! Thank you!” Twilight squeed in delight as she embraced her.

“Gurk!” Rainbow Dash replied eloquently as the air was forced from her lungs. It was a few days later. Celestia’s offer to Twilight, who had—as expected—aced her final examinations, had been gleefully accepted. Twilight’s stuff was being delivered to the her new home and place of employment: the Ponyville library. The rest of their friends were waiting just off to the side for them, Pinkie Pie bouncing in place as she finished setting up a ‘Welcome to Ponyville and House Warming Party for Their Newest and Most Awesomest and Fantabulous Friends: Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash!’ party.

Shining Armor was there to see his little sister off. As happy and proud as he was for her, anypony watching could tell that he was struggling not to tear up and hug Twilight tight and never let her go.

The older unicorn smiled at the sight of Twilight jumping up and down for joy as she hugged Rainbow Dash around the neck, the latter’s tongue lolling out as she gasped for breath. “I’m so proud of you Twiley. And you too Dashie.” He beamed proudly at the two younger ponies. “I knew the two of you would hit it off…I’m just glad you both managed to make some friends and get out of your ruts.” A small hitch worked its way into his voice and he coughed to clear it out before it grew into something bigger. “Twiley, make sure to write. And I know you’ll be tempted to just hole yourself up in your new library-house, but just remember to put down the books and get outside now and again, okay? Remember to exercise and stay in shape…not simply live off of coffee and donuts like you did when you were studying and remember not to drink too much water before bed and…”

“Arrrmoooor!” Twilight stamped her hoof adorably, blushing even as she tried not to cry at the prospect of saying goodbye. “I’m not a little filly, I’ll be okay!”

“I know…I know. Just take care of yourself.” He mussed Twilight’s mane. “And keep an eye on this one for me?” He nodded to Rainbow. “Who knows what sort of mischief she’ll get into when I’m not around to save her rump?”

Rainbow Dash snorted incredulously, which prompted Twilight to giggle at her friend’s put out expression. “I will.” She promised, hugging her brother. “Love you B.B.B.F.F.”

Shining Armor leaned down, their horns touching as he hugged her back. “Love you too. SO much.” He said, tightly holding her. Finally, he forced himself to let her go and turned to Rainbow Dash. “You take care Dashie. When you make it big, remember not to forget about us little ponies, alright?” He winked. “Remember, me and the guards will be rooting for you. Always.”

“Thanks Shiny…” Dash was touched as she walked over and hugged him. “L-like I told Celestia, this isn’t goodbye! I’ll be back all the time! So you better watch your back!”

He laughed. “I’ll make sure to do that.” A small but proud smile worked its way across his muzzle. “I better go before I ruin my Captain of the Royal Guard vibe in front of everypony…but I want to say it again: I am so proud of both of you. Keep in touch, be there for each other and…well, nopony could ever ask for a better sister. Or pair of sisters.” He added, smiling warmly at Twilight and Rainbow. He gave Twilight one last hug and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Then he gave Rainbow Dash a hug as well…just as she practically melted into his fierce hug, her guard down, Shining Armor took the opportunity to plant the biggest, wettest, sloppiest kiss he could manage on her cheek, prompting a loud squeal from the startled pegasus.

Rainbow Dash entire face lit up in a blush that went from pink, to red, to dark red, to practically Twilight-colored purple as she was torn between saying ‘eww!’ and exploding in delight. Her friends laughed at the delightful expression on her face. Shining Armor laughed gently and winked before Rainbow could decide whether to kiss him back or pummel him and made a quick retreat with his magic.

Applejack, still chuckling, walked over and tossed a hoof across her back, steering Dash to the library. “C’mon sugarcube, let’s get you inside where it’s nice and cool ‘fore you have yourself a heatstroke.” She winked at her. “Brothers—ain’t nothing they like doin’ more than embarrassing their little sisters and her friends, am ah right?” AJ raised her voice to make sure Big Macintosh—who had helped Twilight move her stuff in—heard her.

The big red stallion chewed his wheat sprig, thought about it and then nodded. “Eeyup!” He nodded to Rainbow Dash, adding. “Don’t you be letting Applejack get under your skin.”

“What her? As if!” Rainbow's tone was dismissive.

Big Mac just shrugged languidly. “At any rate Miss Dash, welcome to Ponyville. If you ever need anythin’ feel free to stop by the farm, ya hear?” She nodded numbly, a little surprised to find the normally taciturn pony saying so much to her at one time. It was almost like…she blushed at the possible implications. She was just imagining things, right? Stupid Shining Armor putting such thoughts in her head.

With one last nod, Big Macintosh started back to Sweet Apple Acres. Despite herself, Rainbow Dash found herself watching him walk back until he turned a corner and was lost from sight. She turned back to her friends…only to find herself face to face with Applejack, a wicked gleam in her bright green eyes. “What?”

“Ah saw the way you were looking at mah brother.” She laughed lightly. “First Twi’s brother now mine? Shoot, if ah’d known you were angling to become part of the family all you had to do was ask!”

“WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash felt a familiar hot flush as her face heated. “Oh come on that is totally not true!”

“Sure darlin’ whatever you say.” AJ agreed, her tone clearly not believing. “Ah’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason why you were watching mah brother’s backside.”

“Quitit!” Rainbow shushed her, looking around to make sure nopony was listening.

“So it IS true!” The farmpony snickered. “Now ah GOT to tell the gals! Twilight can put it in her letter for her brother!” She darted for the library.

“What? C’mon AJ--!” Rainbow Dash pleaded before quickly zooming off, tackling her before she got inside. The two started rough-housing, but they were both laughing as they did.

It was left to Rarity, chiding them for their ‘tomfoolery’ who insisted on them coming inside and cleaning up before joining the party. Rainbow Dash and Applejack rolled their eyes but came inside. It was a really great party. There was music, balloons and streamers, games and treats. Rainbow Dash had been to a lot of parties in Canterlot, much fancier and much larger than this small, simple gathering of six ponies in a library in a hollowed out tree, but she couldn’t think of a single one that was more enjoyable than this.

Everypony was delighted that she and Twilight were now permanent residents of Ponyville and eagerly talked about all the things they could do now: Rarity gushed that they could all go to the spa together as Fluttershy suggested that it might be nice to go on picnics to watch the birds and the animals (if that was okay with everypony else). Applejack challenged Rainbow Dash to numerous games and challenges, all of which she eagerly accepted. Twilight gleefully proposed forming a book club and Pinkie Pie talked of, of course, even more parties!

At one point, Rainbow Dash found herself idly sipping some punch and reclining on the couch. It was there that she noticed something: it was the book Celestia had planted in the library for her to find and had pulled out during their talk, The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide. Then all at once it felt like a glamour had fallen away as Rainbow Dash realized that in all the excitement, chaos, and tension that she had somehow completely forgotten something, or rather, somepony. Strike that, somezebra. Zecora. She hadn’t seen the cryptic zebra since Nightmare Moon’s defeat and the return of Princess Celestia.

If Celestia’s plan had been for them to find the book, then that meant that she had NOT sent Zecora to help them…even though it was nice and cozy in the library, Rainbow Dash felt an icy chill run down her spine. If that was the case…then how did Zecora know about everything: Nightmare Moon, the Elements of Harmony? Rainbow’s eyes widened. Not only did Zecora know things that she had no conceivable way of knowing, but she had managed to carefully guide them all along the way—without Princess Celestia ever even knowing she was involved.

Just who the hay was she?


A/N: And here we are--we've finally made it to the end! Geeze, what a ride! This was a lot of work but a tremendous lot of fun too. Thank you everyone for reading and responding, for giving your input and--I hope--for enjoying the story.

Big thanks to Aldea Donder and Fairy Slayer, and to RainbowDoubleDash for all the inspiration and suggestions and taking the time to answer some questions I had for them. Big inspiration from this story came from them and from other authors whose stunning portrayals of characters really inspired how I wrote for them...these authors include CLAVDIVS CAESAR, SoundofRainfall, the shared stories and alliance of Comma-Kazie, Chengar Qordath and Kavonde, as well as so many others.

And of course, huge props to Lauren Faust for creating this show which obviously is (c) to her and Hasbro, not to me, no copyright infringement is intended nor is any profit being made from this story.

Thanks again all. Until next time!

Comments ( 243 )

*applause* Bravo, Trinary, bravo! I had so much enjoyment in reading this story in its entirety. You've put so much effort into it, and it definitely shows. I salute you. *salute*

Finally complete, this story gets :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: out of 5 happy pinkies!

Those deaths better be very far in the future Trinary!
Awesome story bro, tell it again?

Man it's awesome the story actually finished (too many good ones don't) but I'm kinda sad to see it go. Hopefully you'll do some more writing in this universe. Oh yeah was it ever revealed what happened to Spike?
Anyways thanks for the great reading.:twilightsmile:

Wow! One of my favorite fanfictions actually has a good ending! *applauds loudly*

But it doesn't say Complete... Que? :rainbowhuh:

Oooo, a little hint of MacinDash, definitely works for me.

I love how Chengar Qordath, Comma-Kazie, and Kavonde have done so much in the fanon for Cloud Kicker. Definitely created some headcanon for her in my mind, so I just love seeing her referenced as a friend of Dash from flight camp.

Interesting explanation for Zecora.

I've been reading this for so long and now it's ending! :fluttercry: I hope you make more of the good stuff (i.e. stories like this one) very soon.

Awesome read, time well spent an thumb well given.

Ahh! The End?:pinkiesad2:

The question: is the deviation from the original universe caused by the Dr.'s intervention? Did he need to swap Twi and Rainbow's positions for some benefit? Or is it a natural quantum deviation?
The loose end: Spike?
The book: Kind of lame that all it does is tell her how to play a necessary role.

Congratulations on a kickass tale, any complaints aside, this is definitely on par with the best of the AU genre.

The pony who came and went in a blue box…
*mind blown*

Noooo. I don't want it to end!:raritydespair:
Will you continue the stories of this universe, cause things could definitely happen differently with all the other stories MLP:FiM has done, especially season 2.

I'm sorry, this chapter is brilliant as usual, but I have to say that I really don't like that ending with Zecora. As far as time-stuff goes, it doesn't make sense that Zecora could poses a book that details out future events without being able to change or influence those future events. If you'd put a hint of that 'defying fate' stuff in there, things would be groovy, but as it stands basically Zecora's living her life doing what the book says she's doing instead of acting on her motivation: "The elders and sages who had safeguarded it saw it only as a way to better the lot of the zebras; a tool to better gain knowledge and insight. Zecora however, wasn’t content with merely seeking to understand the world—she wanted to change it: to help it along, improve the lives of all—zebras and ponies and beyond." It's great and everything, but you gotta tweak the logic-parameters to let Zecora be herself here. Have Zecora nudging the Mane 6 in the direction of a better future, rebelling against the future that the book's previous owners enforced. Maybe she hid the Element's guidebook under E so that she could gain the mane 6's trust for other stuff? Or something else, it's your story, What I'm basically trying to say is that you can't believably have Zecora make decisions if everything's already been dictated to her by a book. Please reconsider/clarify, because your Zecora is really cool and I'd be really disappointing if you undermined her and others by locking the future.

Gah, this pony said it better: 1315466 "The book: Kind of lame that all it does is tell her how to play a necessary role." :twilightsheepish:

Yes, I'm taking the fact that you're going to be writing a sequel(s) as a given. Not that you might not write other stories outside this ~verse, just that I know you will keep writing this stuff too. Because there's no way you don't love a creation as sublime awesome as this story.

"The End"?
I hereby request a sequel for what would happen through the rest of the show and for Zecora and the Doctor.

Dat ending.

Anyway, brilliant story.

So it ends... with a high note, friendship forged, and family reunited. Bravo my friend bravo. I do wonder where you will take us next in this world, how would say Discord's return or the Wedding would go with Rainbow Dash taking the lead. I look forward to what happens next.

Celestia's Paladin

Very nice ending, though I'm kind of sad to see that it's done. I really enjoyed getting see Rainbow Dash the Faithful Student. Kind of hoping for some continuation here.

Also, the final shout-out was very flattering.

dinky was eating the legendary "everything muffin". THE ONE MUFFIN TO RULE THEM ALL!

nopony knows how to make it besides ditzy.

many have tried to replicate but failed miserably.

many lulz were to be had.

*Sniff sniff* What's that I smell?

SEQUEL? There must be!

All of my love, Trinary. TAKE IT. I cannot begin to express how much I enjoyed this story.

Also, dat ending... it has a distinctly sequel-ish taste to it. :rainbowhuh:

...Story isn't marked as completed. There a reason for this?

But it's not complete yet. Epilogue?

100% Agree.
Trinary, that was great. Seriously great. If this is truly the end for this story-line I really really want a similar length story of similar if not better quality. You seem to have it in you. Basically what I'm saying is your loyal fan wants more stuff to be a fan of.
Also that incomplete tag is making me hopeful of more to come, if it is actually complete please change it quickly to avoid the pain of having a longer lasting hope ripped away.

Annnnd roll end credits! :twilightsmile:

Huh. So does that ending qualify the story for a crossover tag? :rainbowhuh:

The Zecora part is a little disjointed. Is everything written in that book set in stone? If it is, why does Zecora want to work for change, since there never can be any? That description was a little too far on the vague side to really make sense.

Other than that, a great story with a few flaws, none of which were bad enough to relegate it to "good". Even the seeming derailment in that chapter was avoided eventually, and many cheers were had.

To those asking about Spike: Is there any indication that he exists in this universe? The implication of Twilight failing at her little magic test is that the egg was never hatched. Though now that I think about it, I have a mental image of a dragon companion to the Last of the Time Lords. :pinkiegasp:

Even for myths and legends, the pony seemed too implausible. The pony who came and went in a blue box…


Same, though if pressed, I might settle for a sequel where this universe and the canon one collide somehow.

My computer is all of two seconds from running out of power, so for now I'll just say


and add more later.


Mind blown at the end and for that I salute you.

Spike is in the series but wasn't mentioned in this so wouldn't count him as a loose end.

Hints of :rainbowwild::eeyup: is great. Not really seen many of those stories ships featuring :eeyup: tend to be :fluttershysad::eeyup: instead or :duck::eeyup:

Bravo for this whole story. Bravo

It looks like you did a great job wrapping things up in this chapter, although since I don't watch anything BBC, I could not give less of a crap about that final Doctor Who reference or that final scene with Zecora. Oh well, that's just me.

Then again, I, just like everybody else here, noticed that you still have this marked as Incomplete, so I'm anticipating either a final author's note, a sort of epilogue chapter, or less likely, the re-imagining of later episodes... either that or the Incomplete is just a trivial oversight. I also want to suggest one last time that you change the category tags (because apparently I can't seem to shut up and let it go already). I no longer think the Comedy tag is necessary, since writing jokes and writing comedy aren't the same thing, but I still say that this is an Adventure story.

1315501 Well, maybe the book is how the show went and ended, and so she did change the history. The ponies will no longer fear Zecora, and the diamond dogs won't attack Rarity while she is out getting gems. that's 2 episodes changed already. 3, if you add in that since the first episode with Zecora doesn't happen means Applebloom doesn't meet her, then the cutie pox episode doesn't happen either. So far, only bad things are no longer happening, so it is a change to a better future.

that ending blew my mind. everywhere.

Last chapter, yet incomplete?
Oh my, do tell.

DEL #34 · Sep 22nd, 2012 · · 1 ·

I let out a manly squee at the doctor who reference

NO it CANT be.:raritycry: please TELL me if there going to be a sequel.THERE NEEDS TO BE A SEQUEL TO THIS AWESOME STORY:flutterrage:

For a second there, I thought you were gonna say Zecora was from the future.

An excellent end to an epic tale. :pinkiehappy: Marred in that you had to slip in a Dr. Who/Whoof reference at the end. Woulda been better if the book was something mystical, like an Elder Scroll of the pony world.

Ah well, a very excellent and wonderful story. I'm glad you wrote and shared it with us. :twilightsmile: :pinkiehappy: :ajsmug: :yay: :rainbowdetermined2: :raritystarry:

Okay, now it says Complete. Well never mind then... hm, there doesn't seem to be an emoticon for eyeroll.

As said before, why is it marked incomplete if it's 'The End?'


A sudden knock at the door caught Ditzy Doo in the middle of serving Dinky breakfast (three guesses what it was)

Pancakes, waffles, french toast?

Also, a sequel and/or Doctor Who story would be acceptable. Please deliver.

Also good story 9/10

The Doctor? Zebras? Shakira? I'M A FOAL AND WHAT IS THIS?!?!
This is awesome!!!!!!!!!!! :rainbowkiss: :rainbowkiss: :rainbowkiss: :rainbowdetermined2: :rainbowkiss: :rainbowwild: :rainbowlaugh: :trixieshiftleft: :trollestia: :moustache: :facehoof: :eeyup: :duck: :pinkiehappy:


Marred? What? Crazy pony.... That ending was completely unexpected, good job!

On the whole thing! Really good job!



Final notes and explanations: regarding the tag....I forgot to change it. It now has been officially marked as 'completed.' Moving on.

The thing with Zecora I'll admit isn't as clear as it could've been but that's a mix of intentional vagueness/implications and some indication that I might have written myself into a corner. The statement that she wants to 'help things along' IMPLIES but doesn't outright say that things can be changed, but leaves open the question of whether there are some things that can be changed and 'fixed points' (to use a Whoism) that can't be.

Somepony or being had to write that book at some point in the future. Keep in mind that it has to be small enough and light enough that Zecora could drag it all the way to Equestria. So if was going to be a book of everything that happened everywhere to everyone it would've been so massive it would've been impossible to move. Or, you know, even open. So it's not going to have EVERY part of everypony's life. It's just sort of someone (in the future) writing about the important stuff that already happened, and doesn't include stuff that the author didn't have time or inclination to write down. Think of an average history book or biography and think about how much is missing from that.

The bit with Dr. Who[oves] at the end is really just for fun because I freaking LOVE that show (and I got into via MLP and all the Dr. Whooves stuff) than a main plot point, per se. The important thing is Zecora operating as her own pony and not as someone put there by Celestia. This is I guess where I boxed myself in.

I always thought it a pretty weak plan (if there was a plan) on Celestia's part for Twilight to just happen to find the Elements of Harmony Reference Guide in the library. What if she didn't find it? Who the hay alphabatizes works by their title alone and not break it down by subject or genre? Zecora is much more interesting and fun than just having the Elements be explain via a book and after a while I sort of built her up as her own agent, not someone who was there because Celestia planned ahead. She's very much working out to her own designs. The trouble was that I had a hard time finding a satisfactory explanation for her knowledge and who (if anyone) she was working for. Then a friend of mind wrote: "Wow..... totally stumped there. Ok you can go the Mighty Max route. Zecora has a wall of glyphs that transcribes the future (Only no pony will be eaten by a giant spider). Maybe in her explorations of Everfree, she found the equivalent of Dead Sea Scrolls (journals of Luna, Celestia, and even Starswirl) and after reading them she put 2 and 2 together. The sister's original castle was in Everfree, so it stands to reason she might find a few artifacts."

That gave me the idea for an ancient book from the future (love the juxtaposition there) that helped Zecora be in the right place at the right time. Perhaps that part could've been made stronger but I really wanted to put this story to bed.

If you don't like the Zecora/Whooves stuff then just take away this much: that there are forces in the world that even Celestia doesn't know about and as much as fiction likes to portray her as a chessmaster/ David Xanatos figure, there's things over and above even her.

Regarding Spike....Spike lovers please don't hate me. I like Spike. He's funny and makes a great foil for Twilight. But outside of Twilight-centered episodes he really doesn't serve a function beyond being an insta-fax machine and occasional comic relief. There are entire stories when he just isn't needed and is left out or is present but completely useless (the Royal Wedding Episodes come to mind). And I have to wonder if it weren't for the fact that Spike has been a staple of MLP since G1 (and resurrected in G3) if they would even bother having him in the new show. I never explicity said it, but he WAS hatched when Twilight's magic overloaded. I left an opening to work him in at the end, but it was too phoned in and unnecessary. So he has been hatched, he does exist...maybe I'll find use for him in another Dashverse story.

I guess that's it. Thanks a lot folks!

"The pony who came and went in from a blue box"
*mind blown*

Okay then. I deeply enjoyed this one! Not quite "Mare-Do-Well: Regeneration" (which is on a totally different level than this, no offense) but still pretty damn good.

NOW WRITE A SEQUEL!!! NOW!!!!:flutterrage:

Btw the Zecora ending was pretty neat. A little weird for me, but neat. Props to ya!

Well, it was a good run! I loved this story more than I thought I would honestly. It was truly excellent and I look forward to seeing more of your stuff!:twilightsmile:.

dat end

How you think could have written the Elder Scrolls?

... I kind of wish I watched Dr. Who, just so I could get that reference before checking the comments. But I'll probably forget this by the end of the day, so... MOVING ON!

This was an amazing story, I have to say. I think the idea was very interesting, a nice attempt on an unusual "What if?" And you brought us entirely new things, instead of making everything exactly like the show, but different dialogue. I always hated that about certain different takes on the beginning.

Your characterization is just about perfect, and I adore Ditzy and her daughter to no end. Rainbow is, well, awesome. :rainbowkiss: Haha. So thanks for taking your time to write this story, as it was really good, and best of luck to you in future projects. (:


But... But what about sequel/spinoffs?

Login or register to comment