Sequels1

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Twilight Sparkle realizes that Rainbow Dash has been keeping a secret from her ever since the Mare Do Well incident. When she goes to confront her about it, she finds out more than she bargained for. And then Twilight reveals that she's been keeping something from her friends ever since the Royal Wedding. Now everything is out there; harsh words have been spoken and a once strong friendship hangs in the balance.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 316 )

Yikes.

Well, I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes. The set-up seems natural enough, and really, giving that episode any amount of thought, as RD has here, really does make all her friends seem like kinda'...well...jerks.

deviantart.com/download/315682547/comic__passive_aggression_is_magic_by_sophiecabra-d57y67n.png

1666485

Yeah, I've hated that episode since it aired. But I could never deal with it without turning it into a Nostalgia Critic style rant as opposed to a story that just explained why the episode sucked (in my opinion). But Darth Link 22's stories about the aftermath of the Season 2 finale about Twilight's relation with her friends provides a counterpoint so I can deal with both issues, giving both RD and Twilight legitimate grievances and a realistic reason to be mad at each other when pressed about it.

1666485

There's been some more added if you'd care to take a look.

1678105
Again - seems good. There's a lot of powerful emotion here.

PPS

Story from a minute ago, comments from a week ago?

This looks interesting

1722766

My magic 8-ball says a pre-reader or editor.

i've read more than my fair share of Mare do Well fix fics.



This is by far the best one ever.

This is good stuff. Would make a good episode I think, certainly follows the general episode plot guidelines.
I'd love to give a more detailed comment, but it's 5:30 am.

I'll be honest. I still don't get it. Rainbow's arguments really didn't make sense to me. Twilight's anger is logical, but then I understand her better as a character.

The Granny Smith scene was my favorite part.

1722959
Rainbow was upset that her friends would go behind her back and play a rather humiliating trick on her all to teach her a lesson, rather than simply confront her openly and talk it out (like Twilight did with Applejack during the applebucking episode). She pointed out that every pony has gone through fits of hubris, and they never did anything like Mare-Do-Well to them.

1723016

No kidding! It's doubly painful because even though RD was being an egotist, she also was going some genuine good.

@Tri, you're welcome as always!

I like how Twilight pointed out that she did try to warn her friends several times about "Cadance"'s unusual behavior before her less-than-well-thought-out accusation during the rehearsal. I think some fic writers tend to forget that, and pin too much blame on Twilight's hysterical behavior (which did play a role, though) rather than on her friends' being to preoccupied with their own concerns.

PPS

There's some showing vs. telling awkwardness in this story. Example:

Had she stopped there things might have ended differently, as upset as she was about her own issues, even Rainbow Dash could see how vulnerable and hurt Twilight was over this. But Twilight was still angry. She had come to talk to Rainbow Dash about why she had lied to her only to have the cyan pegasus explode at her for something that happened months ago and ruthlessly poke and prod at every misstep Twilight had made. She felt like she was being dissected.

So strong was her sense of violation, of betrayal for Rainbow Dash rubbing those incidents in her face that Twilight couldn’t help add one final barb. “So much for the Element of Loyalty.”

These paragraphs recap what we just read and tell us what the characters are feeling in narration. Neither the recap nor the explanation is really necessary. There are also a few grammar problems scattered throughout the text. Off the top of my head, the first sentence in the above quote has a comma splice, and the below line has Rainbow Dash abruptly develop a funny accent:

You went behind me back and lied and…and I couldn't trust you guys, okay?

Other parts of the story were pretty good. I liked Granny Smith's awkward talk, and the "We cool?" "We're cool." "..." "We're not cool, are we?" exchange. I can't say I really like the concept of the story, but that's more a matter of taste.

Amazing. Simply great. With Rainbow's rant to Twilight, you struck all the points that had me raving at the episode when I first watched it. I love fics where Rainbow responds to the whole ordeal more realistically. You are one of my favorite authors. First Rainbooms and Royalty (favorite fanfic on the site), then May the Best Friends Win, and now this. Keep up the good work please!

1723016

Yeah but Applejack's incident was not egotism, it was just her being stubborn. It's not the same thing at all. And Rainbow's arguments pertaining to the others were kind of weak.

1723158
Really? Her being stubborn was rooted in her pride. Applejack swore she could buck all of the apples off the trees because Big Macintosh questioned her ability to pull it off. She refused the help of her friends because she felt that she was perfectly capable of doing it herself, and her intractability was further strengthened because her friends doubted her. Remember the first thing Applejack did when she thought she finished the harvest? Boast about it to Big Mac.

Nice Tsar and Stalliongrad bit, it helps when you just learned it.
I absolutely loved this story, read every inch of it. I love how us authors can make great stories like this.
You earn 5 Spikes and a Dash. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::rainbowkiss:
And a Twilight for good luck! :twilightsheepish:

1723211

Right, because it was a bet (at least in her own mind) with Big Mac, and she lost. Twilight and co didn't have to do anything because AJ was doomed to failure from the start. The situations are not equivocal.

It's hard to read this. Not because it points out the flaws in a childrens' TV show, not because it's out of character in any way, but because it is exceptionally true and real. It's the Season One spirit, the amazing sudden weight of empathy, and the characters who lived it. And you skipped anything shippy even while making Granny a hoot of an old coot.

As an author who likes to pick at the loose threads myself, I consider this one of the best FiMfics ever written.

1723276
Yes, but that the fact that "Twilight and co" did not have to do anything is not the point. The point is that Applejack was acting out of pride, and her friends were wiling to let her learn her lesson herself. And true, AJ was doomed from the start, so Twilight and company may not have felt the need to intervene like they did "The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well", but that argument falls pretty flat when you realize that, as Rainbow pointed out in this story, Applejack was actually causing damage to the rest of Ponyville. If a swelled ego is grounds enough for a Mare-Do-Well-style intervention, wouldn't the fact that Applejack was causing herself physical harm and damaging Ponyville being even more compelling reasons for such an intervention?

1723362

Considering Applebuck season happened in season one, then maybe Twi and co learned something about nipping a problem in the bud in season two.

1723397
Without even bothering to talk to Rainbow? Whenever one of the Mane Cast is in error, the others have always been ready to understandingly and empathetically talk it out, even if their attempts to talk it out aren't always successful. We see this in "Fall Weather Friends", "Bridle Gossip", "Applebuck Season", "Over a Barrel", "Putting Your Hoof Down", etc. All of those episodes feature somepony (usually Twilight) trying to talk her friend(s) into adjusting their behavior. With the exception of "The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well", the conflict has always been solved either by the pony learning the lesson through her own means, or her friends openly working with her to realize the lesson.

I never really thought a lot about this episode, but I definitely see your point in how it went wrong. There are a few episodes that way, looking back.

1723397>>1723458
That being said, I want to make it clear I'm not trying to whitewash Rainbow's behavior. Her head had gotten so big, it was a wonder she could still fly. She did need to learn a lesson in humility. Most people who hate the episode still agree on that. It's just the that we hate the way the lesson was taught. It came off as mean-spirited and disproportionate, had all sorts of unfortunate aesops (don't trying to talk your problems out with your friend, go behind his/her back to teach him/her a lesson), and was generally dissonant with the general atmosphere and theme of the show. It was unfair not just to Rainbow Dash, but to the rest of the Mane Cast. Would Applejack, Element of Honesty, really behave like that? Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness? Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, who believes that pranks should be fun both for the prankster and the pranked? Twilight, bastion of reason and logic (usually) in a town of "crazy ponies"? Rarity... I got nothing. I don't think she would do something like this, but I don't have a short, witty way of saying it.

MDW was stupid and badly presented, but the actual core lesson (heroes don't do it for personal gain) was true, it was just buried under a bunch of other crap than made the moral seem like something it wasn't. It was otherwise one of my favorite episodes, for the action and comedy.

The wedding thing was much more stupid. But understandable if you accept that episodes are selective in applying continuity.

In all fairness, the mane 6 need to forgive themselves for being conned by Chrysalis. This is a creature whose very life depends on the ability to deceive people. I've stated this elsewhere in reference to people who are embarrassed about falling for a con artist's tricks; this is like being ashamed of losing a car race to Mario Andretti, or getting whipped in a game of 1 on 1 basketball by Micheal Jordan.

So, I kind of love this, for so many reasons. The argument was totally believable, in the way it escalated and over what it was about. I'm kind of a shameless Rainbow Dash fan, so its obvious the Mare Do Well episode didn't sit all that great with me. (For the most part, though, I did enjoy it. It was pretty funny and actiony, and poked fun at a lot of the super-hero tropes. Mare Do Well's design was even pretty cool - the obvious reason for disliking it was outlined in this fic, so I don't need to explain that - although even Scootaloo not sticking by Dash was like adding salt to the wound for me). I did find the way Twilight's friends treated her really harsh, too, though I was more pissed at Celestia than anyone - seriously, as the freakin princess you should put more stock in the student/daughter you've sent to save the world multiple times before. Its just the expression Twilight had after they all walked by her... the animators did a great job at conveying the soul-crushing-ness of the moment, that's for sure.

So yeah, I really liked how Twi and Dash got this all sorted out - it was realistic and funny and heartwarming all at once. And the friendshippy bits with Applejack and Dash were downright adorable. And don't get me started on the Granny Smith scene - I burst out laughing. I know a lot of people say they burst out laughing, and its like a little teehee or something - not so in this case. It was a full out Bwahahaha guffaw, and its like 3 in the morning. My roommate hasn't barged in asking why the crap I'm still awake and laughing randomly, so I'll just assume she's a heavy sleeper.

So anywho, thanks for an awesome read. I've read a couple other fics dealing with the aftermath of each event (and they were all really good) but this is probably my favorite in that it gets at exactly what bugged me about both episodes and resolves everything in such a heartwarming manner. Great job :pinkiehappy:

1723969

Or losing an eating contest to John Goodman.

Also this story is great.

Oh god...my feels. My eyes actually teared up. God I'm glad no one can see me. I don't cry and yet, this brought me pretty dam close. Well done sir. Well done

While the Mare Do Well episode definitely needed to be rewritten a bit, I'd argue that Rainbow was out of control, most obviously when she was timing rescues down to the last second to get more autographs in or give her catchphrase. The fact that you don't have Twilight or Applejack pointing that bit out is why I'm downvoting this one.

I really loved this, some great friendshipping between my two favorite characters. It was really well presented, and believable as well. I simply loved the interactions between AJ and Rainbow as well, it very much feels like AJ would swallow her own pride to help a friend just vent, even if they were the targets.

I always felt Rainbow gets the short end of the stick, it seems that no matter what she does, she's just "a brash bitch" and only that, to quote one of my friends, completely ignoring all things positive about her (a factor certainly not helped by the writers of the show, though this season has some good redeeming factors). It's really sort of satisfying to see the character just vent and explain these issues and why they felt hard done by, and actually being able to work through it.

Aside from a few errors in spellng, I only have one major gripe with this story, and it's the use of the Elements. I feel like this is an issue that comes up in just about every story I bother to comment on, and my main issue here is that the Elements have nothing to do with the story here, and the characters. Rainbow Dash was loyal before she was the "Element of Loyalty", as was Applejack with honesty, Pinkie with laughing and generally having a good time and... you get the picture. Point is, they were who they were before the elements, and the only thing that's really changed about them is some jewelry. You never hear the show go on about how they're the elements unless it's relevant to the story. Twilight never goes up to Applejack and greets her with her Title, and it shouldn't be so here because it's just out of place and generally not relevant.

All said and done, it's a great read, and a lot of feels were had. Nice job, and I hope you take my criticism into consideration.

Lord help me, I can actually picture an episode where everypony airs their dirty laundry, and the friendship hangs in the balance. The first part of this would be a good precursor to such an episode.

I like this.

That is all.

They seriously need to adress all the problems people had with MDW episode. A sequel of sorts I don't know but they can't just leave it there like that. And ig TV Tropes is right the writers know that many people really hated it and refuse to talk about it.
What Rainbow's "friends" did to her was so unlike them. Where else did they simply attack their friend from the start instead of trying to mediate to her.
If Twilight thought that she's too reckless to listen then why at the same time she though she's balanced enough not to try to make a problem (the way she did, supposedly more mature pony), when Rainbow was saving the first ponies they were standing aside, why? Were they jealous? Why did they leave her like that on her own? Were they already thinking about MDW?.........and so on and so on...

No. MDW doesn't deserve a review a la Nostalgia Critic but like Mr.Plinkett. 22 minutes and so many things that were so wrong it was offensive.

But they're coming back to older episodes now. Maybe some day we'll have more insight into this. MDW looks like this kind of episode that the writers apologize after the years saying that it wasn't their best one.

But seriously it can't be left like that. It's been a YEAR and this episode is just as polarizing as ever.

It's so awesome seeing stories that basically summarize my own feelings about that episode. Besides "Feeling Pinkie Keen", the episode I hate most of all out of all of them would easily be "The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well". Mainly due to, well, it's all been said in comments and by Rainbow Dash. It was just flat-out disgusting and a terrible lesson. I'm glad that you wrote this and that you believe that as well.

Oh, and to 1666485, that picture is downright awesome and so very true. It's so funny when things are sung, drawn, or told from a literal standpoint. Such as that picture. Props to you.

Wow. I've had the same feelings about those several episodes for a while. Every once in a while, the writing team (even though it's an attempt at a good story, and you NEED antagonistic action for a good story) takes things a little far.

I'm stealing your letter to Celestia as a facebook post. It's epic.

That was a powerful story and very well written I managed to identify with both characters and was completely drawn into their fight, the resolve for RD to speak to Twilight seemed just a tad rushed, but the actual discussion was very good, :twilightsmile:
I kind of wish Ceelstia had turned up at some point and maybe Shining to apologise as well. :raritywink:

Regardless overall this was an excellent fic and a pleasure to read, everyone stayed in character and I was griped the whole way through. :scootangel:

It should be noted somewhere in the story that ponies would've died from Rainbow stopping to boast in that episode if someone hadn't stepped in. It was still wrong what they did, but Rainbow really needs a bit of perspective on how far off the deep end she was with all this...as usual.

All my likes are belong to you. :rainbowwild:

1723211 Much like the PONY.MOV series. Remember APPLE.MOV? AJ, because Twilight told her she can't eat that many apples, proceeded to eat every apple in sight to he point of poor Applejack slipping into a coma.

Well I finally got around to reading this. I'm going to start this off by saying that I like reading Mare Do Well fix fics, mainly because there was a heck of a lot about the episode that needed fixing. However one problem I have with this story is that while it does do really a terrific job at portraying their emotions it didn't really acknowledge any sort of positive argument for what the 5 did. Rainbow Dash's neglectfulness was endangering lives, and while the episode virtually oozes hypocrisy as you point out, the fic kinda does skirt over the fact that there was a reason to be the Mare Do Well besides showing Dash up. Not that I support what they did, I find it one of the most reprehensible actions taken by the mane 6 throughout the series, made worse by the fact that it was portrayed entirely positively. If their primary concern was saving lives the best course of action would have been to tell Dash to pull her head out of her ass and save some lives. The thing that finally kills the episode for me was the fact that their message really only got across after they just told her about it. I wondered out loud as I watched that scene "Couldn't you have done that 20 minutes ago and skipped the part where you made your friend feel like garbage?"

I liked the story, but I still think the best fix fic for the Mare Do Well incident is No Hard Feelings, mainly because it does a good job of explaining that while The 5 did have a point, their plan was still screwed up in idea and execution. Still though, this is a great story. I have realized that between the Twilight/Dash argument in this story and the Dash/Macintosh argument in A Camping We Will Go that you are incredible at writing those sorts of scenes. The escalation just feels very natural.

Thank you for writing this Trinary

I think people are to hard on the other five in regards to Mare-Do-Well. A little Dash ego can be a dangerous thing.

Good story well writen you obvely put a lot of thought into this

also

I think went to talk to Rainbow Dash this morning

You're missing a word here it should read

I think she went to talk to Rainbow Dash this morning

Finally! Someone else who sees the douchery that Twilight and co. brought onto RD. :rainbowhuh:

Mare-Do-Well is one of the three worst Aesops (right along with Feeling Pinkie Keen and the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000). You don't fix a friend's behavior by being even worse at it, you don't give up just because you don't understand something the way you're used to, and you don't reject modernization outright just because the guys who came up with it aren't the friendliest.

/:flutterrage: ... okay, I'm done now. But seriously, well done.

I realy like this chapter, I alwais found it a big issue how Princess Celestia, Shinning Armor and all Twilight friends did not listen to her when she tryed to warn tham, and turned they back without a word when she need tham the most, but I did not realy realized that MDW episode was out of place two where RainbowDash was tricked and hurt by her friends.
In MDW defense, I will tell that MDW showed up the moment RainbowDash was to busy with autograph when someone need help, but on the other side, they already rushed to MDW business before RainbowDash did it, so yea.

Realy well writen fanfic.

This sums up my feelings about a couple of episodes perfectly. The MDW episode was terribly done, for all the points shown here, and I would have expected RD to give Twilight some support at the wedding. It could be argued that this was somewhat reasonable as Twilight had 'cried wolf' previously, but I still would have expected RD to support her.
That said, personally I feel that the entire MDW episode was incredibly harsh, and indeed hypocritical. The way the other 5 characters try to 'teach her a lesson' is brutal.

1724445

I always felt Rainbow gets the short end of the stick, it seems that no matter what she does, she's just "a brash bitch" and only that, to quote one of my friends, completely ignoring all things positive about her

You know, that really does seem like a very good summary of why most people dislike RD.

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Actually, RD was saving lives at first. After the appearance of MDW everything escalated though.

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