• Published 4th Jun 2012
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Rainbooms and Royalty - Trinary



Alternate Universe: Filly Rainbow Dash has just performed her Sonic Rainboom when she gets a visitor

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Catching Up

& & &

“Awww…you stung my bumblebee!” Dinky said as she moved her piece. “You win.”

Rainbow Dash reached over and patted her shoulder. “Don’t feel bad squirt, I always win this game. Hay, I’m just glad to have the opportunity to play it. There aren’t that many ponies who like to play this in Canterlot.” Except for Princess Celestia. Her conscience needled her before she could smack it down. Shaking her head, she tried to put it out of her mind. “Good game Dinks. Now what?”

The afternoon had gone by in a whirlwind. After snacking on muffins Rainbow Dash and Ditzy Doo shared some reminisces of Flight Camp and retelling funny stories while Dinky drew pictures and then proudly showed them off. Dinky showed Rainbow Dash her room and all her toys and stuffed animals (Dash could literally feel her teeth rotting from the sweetness of it all). Then they settled down to playing board games and Rainbow and Ditzy had even gone a few rounds of wing wrestling. Rainbow Dash had a better time with Ditzy and her daughter than she ever did with the fancy snobs in Canterlot.

“Hmmm….” Dinky stroked her chin the way she’d seen grownups do. “How about if you and momma have a race?”

Dinky had said the million bit word. Rainbow Dash’s eyes came to life at the promise of a race. “Hey, yeah! A race would be awesome! It’d be great to get in some real wing time before I go back to Applejack’s. That is, if you’re up to it Ditzy.”

Ditzy smiled. “Alright then. We’ll fly out of town, just past the edge of the forest. There’s something I wanted to show you anyway.” She plunked Dinky on her back.

Rainbow shrugged. “Sure.”

“Great! Follow me if you can!” Ditzy called as she flew out the front door, Dinky clinging tightly to her back.

“If I can?! Oh you are asking for it!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she zoomed out after her. She caught up with Ditzy Doo and Dinky without even trying. She gave them a loose salute that made them giggle.

“Faster momma! Faster!” Dinky shouted. Ditzy couldn’t well refuse.

“Muffins away!” She called as she flapped harder. Rainbow Dash easily matched her pace. Below them Ponyville sped by, the houses growing further and further apart. Soon they were over a lonely winding dirt road that lay just outside a dark green forest. Curious, Rainbow Dash allowed herself to drift over it.

When Ditzy noticed this she flailed her forelegs wildly. “No! Not over there! Don’t go there!”

“What’s wrong? It’s just some woods!”

“No, that’s the Everfree Forest!” Ditzy’s eyes rolled as she tried to watch the Forest, Rainbow Dash, and Dinky at the same time. “It’s super scary!”

“Pff. Some trees are scary?” Dash snorted. “C’mon, this is sounding like a lame ghost story.”

Dinky shook her head. “Nu-uh! Everypony knows the Everfree Forest is really dangerous! All the weather happens on its own and the plants and animals take care of themselves and its full of monsters and dragons and…and—” She hugged her mother’s neck tighter, shivering slightly.

“Shh, it’s okay muffin.” Ditzy soothed. She looked at Rainbow Dash and put her hooves together, her bright eyes shining. “Can you pleeeease not go over there? Pretty pretty please?”

“Hmph, fine.” She crossed her legs over her chest. “You cheat with the doe eyes, even back in camp you used to pull that!”

Ditzy beamed. “Heheyup! Now follow me, we’re almost there!” Ditzy sped off, as Rainbow Dash followed. Out away Ponyville was a single small cottage, surrounded by flowers and bird houses.

Rainbow Dash looked around as she gently nudged one of them with her hoof. “What is this place? Why did you bring me here?”

“Yoooou’ll see!” Ditzy grinned as she happily trotted to the house, Dinky laughing all the way. She knocked on the door and then stepped back. Rainbow Dash settled down next to her and peered at the door as it swung open. Slowly, a bright pink mane covering a cream yellow face hesitantly poked its way out.

“H-hello?” A soft, shy voice called gently. “I-is anypony there? If there isn’t, sorry for bothering you…”

At the sound of her voice, Rainbow Dash felt her jaw drop open. “No way!” She zoomed forward until she stood in the doorway to get a better look. “Fluttershy? Oh my gosh!” She hugged the cream colored pegasus tightly, pulling her outside. “So this is where you’ve been hiding girl!”

“R-rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy squeaked as she felt the air being forced out of her lungs. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I figured you two might want to catch up.” Ditzy smiled knowingly. “Shy, Rainbow Dash is going to be in town for a few days.”

“Oh my goodness, that’s so wonderful!” Fluttershy smiled. “Yay.” She softly mewed, then blushed. “Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to shout I’m just so excited…I haven’t seen you since Flight Camp and I wrote you letters but you haven’t written back in such a long time…I mean, you didn’t have to if you didn’t want to, but—”

“Heh, it’s cool Flutters.” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “Sorry about that. Letter writing isn’t really my thing. But it’s really cool to see you again.”

Fluttershy nodded. “What are you doing all the way from Canterlot? Is the Pr—hmph!” She suddenly found Rainbow Dash’s hoof had taken up residence in her mouth.

Rainbow Dash leaned in. “Shh! Don’t talk about that stuff! I don’t want anypony to know about that, okay?” Fluttershy nodded. “Okay.” She pulled her hoof away.

“I’m sorry.” Fluttershy squeaked. “Um, would you all like to come in for tea? If you’re not too busy, that is.” Dash groaned at the idea of more low-intensity social activity but she *hadn’t* seen Fluttershy in a long time.

“Okay, sure. You coming Ditzy?”

“Nah, I just wanted to be here to see the look on your face.” Ditzy Doo smirked. “But it’s been a full day and muffin’s get tired.” As if in confirmation, Dinky let out a yawn. “We’ll just leave you two alone to catch up. See you later Dash!”

“Bye!” Dinky waved sleepily as the two left.

Fluttershy waved too. “Such nice ponies.” She smiled. “Do you want to come in now?”

“Sure. Thanks.” Rainbow Dash looked around as she trotted in. The place was swarming with animals. “I’m guessing you run some sort of animal hotel?”

“Oh no, not really. I just take care of them.” Fluttershy closed the door. “It’s so nice to see you again. How have you been? If you don’t mind my asking that is.” She added quietly.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I guess you haven’t changed much.” She leapt back onto the couch. “Same old Fluttershy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry was I supposed to?” The yellow pegasus sounded worried.

“Pff, nah. I’m just messing with you Flutters.” Dash got comfortable. “So…Ponyville huh?”

Fluttershy nodded, her eye lighting up a bit. “It’s a very nice place…and so many wonderful animals.” Her wings fluttered in delight.

Dash shrugged. “If you say so.”

“But what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Canterlot with the Princess? Why didn’t you want me saying anything in front of Ditzy? If I can ask that is.”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “I’m kinda taking a bit of time for myself.”

“It’s so nice that Princess Celestia is giving you a vacation so you could come visit!”

“Um….” The blue pegasus coughed. “Yeah…thing is, I didn’t exactly ask...”

Fluttershy covered her mouth for fear that she might scream. “Oh my goodness!” She breathed softly. “You left without her permission?”

“Hey! I don’t need her permission for every little thing, I’m not a foal you know.” Dash snapped, crossing her hooves over her chest. “I’m just taking some time for myself…she probably doesn’t even know I’m gone.”

Fluttershy made her way over to the couch and sat next to Rainbow Dash. “Did you two have a fight?” Rainbow turned away, answering without saying a word. “I’m sorry. It must’ve been just awful for you.”

“It’s fine.” Dash grumbled. “I mean, who cares if she drags me to meet a bunch of rich snots instead of teaching me how to do the Sonic Rainboom. That instead of becoming a Wonderbolt I get to read a bunch of boring books by boring old dead ponies who use big words nopony ever uses.”

“I think it’s nice that Princess Celestia wants you to try different things.” Fluttershy piped up. “It shows that she really cares about you.”

Rainbow Dash snorted. The next thing she heard was the clip-clop of Fluttershy’s hooves as she walked upstairs only to come down a minute later. She felt more than heard Fluttershy sit back on the couch. “I think you should look at this.”

When Dash turned on her side so that she was facing Fluttershy, she saw that the yellow pegasus was holding out a book towards her. “What is it?”

“These are all the letters you sent me from Canterlot.” Fluttershy said softly. “I’m, um, just going to go get that tea.” Then she left Rainbow Dash alone. Rainbow watched her go without a word then looked back at Fluttershy’s book as if it might suddenly get up and bite her.

She turned away…but either out of boredom or curiosity, she found herself turning back and opening the book in her lap. She opened the embroidered cover (snorting a little at the quintessential Fluttershy touch) to find a crudely written letter staring up at her. It was dated right after the end of Summer Flight Camp, a few weeks after her Sonic Rainboom.

Dear Fluttershy,

Hey Flutter-butters! I’m writing from Canterlot, isn’t that so awesome? Flight Camp was cool but I’m not gonna miss sleeping in a cloud cabin with all those other fillies talking about colts and manes and junk. Ugh. You were the only one who didn’t make me want to pull my feathers out. But now I have my own room and everything. Need to get rid of the bed though. It’s all pink and girly, plus it isn’t even made of clouds! Lame. But the Princess is really awesome. Turns out she likes pranks too! And she’s really fast even though she’s so big--don’t tell her I said that! I bet I’ll be Rainbooming by the end of the week!

Look to the skies for the newest and coolest future Wonderbolt,

Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash smiled, flipping through the book, stopping on another letter from a few weeks later.

Today was so cool! Princess Celestia took me to see the Wonderbolts from her own box. You should’ve seen it! I swear Spitfire winked at us as she went past! Then we went to get a hayburger--I was *so* sick of the fancy castle food!!-- and she stole my fries! She did! She TOTALLY did! Princess Celestia raided my hay fries! Turns out she isn’t some stuffy lady but a really cool pony. And she did buy another order of fries so it’s okay.

Then a couple of months later she found this one:

Hey Fluttershy. Sorry I haven’t written you in a bit. I’ve got some time now because I’m sorta laid up. I was out flying and might’ve overshot the turn a little bit. Dumb doctors insisted that I have to wear a cast over my wings and stuff. Urg. Soo booored! Then Princess Celestia flew in the window, really fast! I thought she’d be angry that I skipped lessons and tried to imit—imi—copy, something I’d seen the Royal Guards do and I guess she was, a little, but mostly she just looked worried. She even climbed into my hospital bed to stay with me. It was cramped but it felt…nice. Tell anypony about this and I’ll totally kick your flank! Just kidding, but seriously, DON’T.

Rainbow Dash set the book down and let herself drift off a bit. She lay in that blissful state between being awake and being asleep. Memories came to her like dreams as she sat back to enjoy the show.

Another evening, watching the stars. Rather, Celestia was watching the moon and the stars while Rainbow Dash was watching the Wonderbolts do a fly by and comment that she wanted to do wing-ups with the guards to help get her wings stronger. Princess Celestia just turned to her and softly said, “As high as your wings carry you, it is your heart that can truly help you soar.” Dash remembered asking Celestia what she meant only to have her smile and change the subject.

Then there was another one, from maybe a month after she arrived in Canterlot. She had one of unavoidable encounters with the ground and ended up clutching her leg in pain. Faster than she had ever seen her move, Princess Celestia was there by her side.

“Are you okay?” She knelt down.

“Y-yeah.” Dash held her bruised leg with her hooves. “Just fine.”

“Then why are you crying?” Celestia asked gently.

“I-I’m not crying.” She sniffled, protesting. “Only little foals cry.”

Celestia gave a wane smile at Rainbow Dash’s bravado. “Can I tell you a secret?” After seeing Rainbow nod, she looked this way and that and lowered her voice. “I cry every night.”

Rainbow Dash was stunned. “You? But you’re the princess! What do you have to cry about?”

Celestia reached out a wing and held the little filly close to her side. “I cry when my subjects are unhappy and I’m unable to help them. I cry when sad things happen...but mostly, I cry when I’m lonely. It’s very lonely being the Princess.”

Rainbow Dash reached out and hugged Celestia’s leg, cuddling up even closer as Celestia’s wing held her tight. “You don’t have to be lonely. You have me, don’t you?” She looked up with her rose-colored eyes big and pleading.

Celestia smiled, her eyes shimmering with barely unshed tears. “I’d like that.” She gently kissed Rainbow Dash’s bruised leg. “I’d like that a lot.” Rainbow Dash sniffled again and rubbed her eyes to clear them of moisture that had nothing to do with pain.

Next came one from just a few months ago. She had been on a pranking spree that had nailed just about every servitor, staff, and guard in the palace, not to mention the Princess! She was drawing up some more pranks when she heard a familiar regal voice from behind her.

“Rainbow Miriam Daaash.” She jumped up, startled and spun around.

“Oh, heh, hiya Princess C!” She rubbed the back of her head. “What’s up?”

Celestia narrowed her eyes, but couldn’t hide the twinkle of mirth within them. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that whoopee cushion on my throne this morning, would you?”

“Who? Me?” Rainbow Dash flashed her brightest, most innocent smile and utterly failed to convince anyway: she had about as much guile as a rampaging dragon. “Oh, look at that! I think dinner’s ready, I’ll just be going—”

“Not so fast!” Celestia’s horn shimmered, holding Rainbow Dash in place. She wrapped her with her forelegs and held the squirming cyan pony close as she started using her wings to tickle Dash’s belly.

“Ha, oh c’mon! Stop!” Rainbow Dash flapped her wings trying to get away. “Quit it!” Princess Celestia took a deep breath and blew a raspberry on Dash’s tummy, making her squeal with laughter. Celestia softly nommed and nipped at Rainbow’s belly and continued blowing raspberries without mercy. “Ahahaa no! Haahaha stahhap!” Dash squealed in between laughter. After a few moments, Celestia deigned to show mercy, leaving Dash panting on her bed. “So, hah…gonna get you back!” Rainbow giggled sleepily.

“I’m sure you will.” Celestia whispered as she drew the blinds closed with her magic. “Until tomorrow, then.”

Other memories floated through Rainbow’s mind: a memory of Celestia helping her drink a bowl of soup that time she got the feather-flu, watching her with pride as she sounded out a particularly hard poem as a filly, getting up early to watch the sunrise with her and then spending the morning practicing flying and racing across the sky…

Rainbow Dash sighed. Princess Celestia had always been there for her. But these last few months it was like a wall had come up between them. Celestia was always busy, always distracted and whenever they had time together she seemed to want to focus on Dash’s studies instead of training; logic problems, ancient lore, problem solving or social skills with the brats of nobility. When had things gone so wrong?

Still, the reality was that she had run away. Rainbow Dash felt miserable. She promised herself that tomorrow, after the spent the night with AJ, she’d go back to Celestia and apologize. She still wanted to spend some time catching up with Ditzy and Fluttershy, but it would be wrong to just leave Celestia hanging like that.

Somehow, making the decision made Rainbow feel a whole lot better. She stretched and felt the butterflies in her stomach settle. Just in time too, for Fluttershy returned with a tray of tea and two cups. “Um ready for your tea?” She asked softly.

Smiling Rainbow Dash accepted her cup with both hooves. “Yeah. C’mon Fluttershy, have a seat. We need to talk.”

& & &

Afternoon was sliding into evening when Rainbow Dash settled down in Sweet Apple Acres. “Rainbow Dash!” She turned to see a familiar orange face running up.

“Hey, Applejack.” She gave her a brief nod. “What’s up?”

Applejack’s face was a mixture of resignation and mild annoyance. “Nothin’ much.” She said. “Tell me, did you run into a pink pony in town?” She asked casually. Too casually.

“Um, yeah…” Rainbow was left wondering if she’d done something wrong. “I met Pinkie Pie. There a problem?”

Applejack tossed her head, indicating that she should follow her. “Here’s the ol’ homestead.” She said, by way of answer as her house came into view. “Remember when I mentioned that I had my relatives coming by for a reunion?” Rainbow Dash nodded. “And I’m betting Pinkie mentioned something about throwing a party for you?” Again, a nod.

“What’s this all about?” The pegasus asked in confusion as they went around the back of the house. Applejack pointed a hoof. Rainbow followed with her eyes only to be greeted by a tremendous roar that almost knocked her on her back.

“SURPRISE!” shouted a horde of ponies as they stood around wooden tables laden with sugary treats and apple-based foods. Torches and lanterns lit up the back porch and yard as balloons and streamers and banners were hung from the branches of nearby trees.

“What in Equestria?!” Dash yelped, looking to AJ for an explanation. The cowpony just sighed and pointed at a familiar pink pony who Rainbow Dash suddenly found in her personal space.

“SURPRISE RAINBOW DASH!” She blew a noisemaker directly in Rainbow Dash’s ear.

“Yaah! Pinkie!”

“Were you surprised, huh were you, were you?” Pinkie hopped around her. “This is so exciting! I was all set to throw you a party but then I remembered you saying that you were staying at Applejack’s and then I remembered that Applejack was gonna have a party for her reunion so then I thought, what if I made it a DOUBLE party?! Huh! This is my greatest idea ever!”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I can’t believe it!” She looked around. “This looks like the greatest party ever!”

Pinkie cart wheeled. “Hooray!” Applejack looked like she wanted to be annoyed, but couldn’t quite pull it off. She shook her head but couldn’t resist a chuckle.

“That pony’s a few apples short of a bushel, but danged if she can’t throw some of the best shindigs you ever did see. Now c’mon, lemme introduce you to the Apple family…” She led her to a table surrounded by ponies. “This here is Apple Fritter…” Rainbow gave a small wave as a plate of apple fritters was set in front of her. Before she could even try a bite though, Applejack was busy introducing the next pony. “…This is Apple Tart…” cue plate of namesake food. Rainbow Dash figured out where this was going. AJ took a breath. “And this here’s Red Gala, Golden Delicious, Red Delicious, Honeycrisp, Apple Brown Betty, Apple Strudel, Braeburn—”

“Hey there!” A yellow pony with bright green eyes and the widest smile Rainbow Dash had seen on any pony—except perhaps Pinkie Pie—waved at her.

Applejack went on without missing a beat “—Caramel Apple, Apple Bumpkin, Apple Brioche, Bramley, Russet Apple, Jonagold Apple…” She took a big breath as she got to the end of the list. “…mah big brother Big Macintosh, my li’l sister Apple Bloom and Granny Smith!” She pointed to a giant red stallion, a little yellow filly with a red mane and tail bound in a ribbon and an elderly green mare.

“Soup’s on!” Granny Smith said shakily from her rocking chair.

Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack’s siblings and smiled…mostly because they were the only two names she could recall from that onslaught. “Um, what’s up?”

“Apples.” Big Macintosh said drolly, holding up a cupcake with an apple slice in it…a Big McIntosh apple if Rainbow Dash had to guess.

Balancing a delicious looking apple pie on her back, Apple Bloom walked up to Rainbow Dash and looked up. “Applejack said yer gonna be stayin’ with us for a while?”

“Sure seems that way.”

“Neat!” Apple Bloom smiled. “Mah sis said that you were really fast!”

“You bet I am!” Rainbow flexed her wings. “The fastest!”

“Faster than Applejack? No way!” The little filly protested.

Challenged, the rainbow mare responded in the only way she knew how. “Well, let’s just see about that! Climb aboard!” She knelt down. Before anypony could say a word, Apple Bloom set her apple pie down on the ground and clambered onto Rainbow Dash’s back. Then they were off.

Rainbow Dash twirled and spun, racing across the night sky. It only made her rainbow trail seem to glow all the brighter. Apple Bloom squealed and let out a wild cheer. “Yaaaahooooooooooooo!”

“You hanging on?” Dash asked.

“Uh huh!”

“Good! Keep doing that!” Rainbow dived down, flying straight for the ground! The on-looking ponies all gasped. Apple Bloom closed her eyes tight. She was twenty feet from the ground. Fifteen feet. Ten. Five…at the last second Rainbow Dash’s wings flared out and they zoomed up, her tail actually knocking the hats off several ponies. After a few laps over the heads of the amazed crowd, Rainbow folded her wings back and delicately set down on her hooves, bowing to the flabbergasted ponies. Apple Bloom slid off, her mane looking windblown and more than a bit unsteady on her hooves.

“Apple Bloom! You all right?” Applejack hurried over, looking concerned.

The little filly’s face twitched. “It…was…so…AMAZING!!!” Her face broke into a wide smile. “Did ya see me Applejack? I was flying like a bird an’ everything!”

The other fillies ran over to her. “Oh wow you were flying so fast!” Sweetie Belle squeaked.

Dinky Doo nodded. “Isn’t it the greatest thing ever?” Scootaloo pulled a face at her, but no one noticed.

“Did you see Rainbow Dash? She is just the coolest!” The orange filly exclaimed.

“I think my mom’s the coolest.” Dinky said. “But Rainbow Dash’s colors are amazing!” She admitted.

“She was all swish, zoom, vroom vroom!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she wrapped her forelegs around the two fillies, having come from out of nowhere.

Rainbow Dash meanwhile was stretching her wings. “Heh. Yup, yup…I am pretty special.” Her tone was light, nonchalant. Applejack rolled her eyes and gently punched her in the shoulder.

“Easy up there sugarcube, we want your head to be able to fit inside the door.”

“Ooh that’s right we do!” Pinkie Pie said solemnly. “Because otherwise we’d have to build a whole new house! But wait, then we could have a housewarming party!”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “You sure do like your parties, don’t you?”

Pinkie nodded so fast it was a wonder her head didn’t fall off. “Yuperooni dooni! Parties make everypony smile and lets you make lots and lots of friends!”

Fluttershy hesitantly made her way over. “Oh Rainbow Dash, that was really amazing.” She sided up to her. “You really are an amazing flier.”

Preening, Rainbow was about to confirm Fluttershy’s assessment when another familiar voice cut her off. “She is indeed, but look at what’s it’s done to your mane!” With a barely repressed groan, Rainbow Dash turned around to see Rarity trotting up to them, a brush in hoof.

“Rarity, if I did all that frou-frou stuff that you’d like it’d just get ruined whenever I’d fly anyway.” She pointed out tensely.

Rarity pursued her lip disapprovingly. “…Even so! Besides a good brushing of your mane or preening of your wings would make it much smoother and would probably make them even more aerodynamic, to say nothing of beautiful!”

The skeptical pegasus raised a brow at that. That almost sounded…sensible. “I…guess? I can preen my own wings fine.” She added, a bit crossly.

The white unicorn’s face split into a grin. “I’m sure you can, of course! But it can be made easier when somepony else assists you! It’s true I assure you! Besides,” she went on. “You don’t want to end up like Applejack do you?”

“Hey!” The farmpony scowled. “What’s that supposed t’mean?”

Rarity elegantly shrugged. “Simply that a little grooming could make a lot of difference in your appearance…for instance, a little more fine care of your mane and ponies wouldn’t mistake you for having a dirty blond mane.”

“I *am* blond and I ain’t dirty!” Applejack shot back. “And at least mine’s all natural!”

Rarity’s face was the picture of indignant. “Well I never!”

“Oh, please don’t fight.” Fluttershy lowered her head. “It’s just horrible when that happens.”

Pinkie Pie’s legs suddenly seem to suddenly give up as they slid out from under her, leaving them sticking out in all directions. “Wow! It looks like we’re going to have more new ponies coming to the party!” She chirped as she climbed back to her hooves, bouncing giddily.

Rainbow Dash leaned back a bit, as if afraid of catching whatever it is Pinkie had. “How do you know—?”

“Don’t ask.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Jest go with it.”

Pinkie Pie beamed. “I wonder if they’re coming for the Summer Sun Celebration!”

Dash’s stomach suddenly went into a free fall. “The what now?”

Applejack chuckled, throwing her hoof over Dash’s shoulders. “Shoot, where are you from girl? The Summer Sun Celebration, one of the biggest holidays in Equestria? It’s being held in Ponyville this year!”

Rainbow Dash felt her eye twitch.

“Oh look, there they are!” Pinkie called as she hopped up, waving at some ponies approaching from the main road.

Rainbow Dash hovered above her and gently used a hoof to flatten Pinkie Pie’s puffy mane so she could scope it out for herself…her eyes widened as she saw two figures approaching from the road to Ponyville. One was a purple unicorn mare she didn’t know. But she did know the other pony: a big white unicorn stallion with a determined look on his face. “Oh no.” Rainbow Dash groaned. “Not here, not now!”

It was Shining Armor.

& & &