• Member Since 10th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 5th, 2020


I'm your friendly neighborhood Sir Dies-A-Lot, and I have a habit of resurrecting more often than Jesus! If you came for quality content, then you'd best high-tail it outta here! ...Because I suck.


Rainbow Dash basically falls in love with a watermelon, that's about it. But it is incredibly funny if you care to read.

This is a parody on how Rainbow Dash is the center of every shipping chart, and she's been paired with everything but the kitchen sink (and even NOW has been paired with a kitchen sink), and I decided, "Why the hay not?"

If the definition of clop is the typing of sex or genitalia, then this is NOT clop. However, she does have some PG-14-rated fun with that watermelon.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 120 )

And now she's been paired with a kitchen sink. So funny because it's true.

Watch this somehow get featured like all the other random stories lately. I bet 20 bits.

You beat me to that. Still haven't read it though.
I'll read this later.


Bitch, please!

I bet 40 bits!

I stopped about halfway through. Still though, the dafuqiness was prominent.

Still a better love story then Twilight. minecraftforum.net/uploads/profile/photo-thumb-660281.png

Mel is a TANK, man. Taking all that hoofing and kinky stuff and coming out in one piece :rainbowhuh:? LIKE A BOSS! ALL THE FILLIES COME TO MEL'S BARN!!! :rainbowwild:

I could complain about your writing, but the idea was too great to fail. You did a really great job with all the puns and joke revolving around the watermelon. Props, man! Props!

Congratulations, watermelons are my new fetish.

677315 Yeah, no. I'll be shocked if this doesn't get featured. :applejackunsure:

Not saying that's a good or bad thing. But that's my prediction.

Ah...I admit to a weakness to well-written crack pairings. This was epic. And Applebloom's and Sweetie Belle's panic at the end just clinched it.

677368 It just seems REAL off to me. How does a story like this, or any other similar, get featured? Are people THAT bored?


whoa dashie, if ya "eat" all that watermeoln you're gonna get a wicked bad tummy ache..:rainbowwild:

677379 Well, unfortunately.... Yes.

Plus, you have to admit that this is fan fiction. For lack of true works of literature, to most people the next best thing is up-voting their favorite ships and the comedic ones. Because in the comedic ones you don't have to care as much about a decent story and more than sub-par writing. In fan fiction, they have a definite leg up from any serious work. They're simply easier to make.

I'm not saying a good thing. Imo, though, that's just how it works. No point being bothered by it. Just act all hipster, like me. :rainbowlaugh:

I couldn't stop laughing all the way through this. :rainbowlaugh: This HAS to get featured.

I have the weirdest boner right now.

677406 I like you're name. For obvious reasons. Look at my name. :rainbowderp::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowhuh::rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:

Hahahaha! That was the silliest, most random thing I read all month! :rainbowlaugh:

677425 Why thanks! I do concur with your name as well, good sir! :moustache:

Wow. I laughed so hard at this.

But really, dafuq did I just read? I am wondering how people begin to come up with such stories.

But yeah, better than twilight, that's for sure.

677399 Well, as annoyed I am of all of it, I suppose you're right.

I just wish that not every fic like this would get featured, you know? IDK, it just seems...OFF...

Oh well, time to try and work more on my "Better than everyone elses" HiE.

Dont know if i should be disturbed or laughing...

677449 Have faith! Oh wait, I have none, and I shouldn't be a hypocrite....


Well, time to do something else mindless and totally non-constructive.

She slowly chewed on the piece of him in her mouth, savoring each and every drop of his fluids. Eventually, she found something hard, and recognized it as a seed. She looked down at Mel, and stuck her tongue out, the seed on the tip.

“I’m gonna swallow your seed, Mel,” she said seductively, “and I’m gonna enjoy every second of it.”

These lines sealed the deal for me.


What the heck?

10,000 bits

677619 I gave up on that, as I'm a little annoyed that these fics get the attention enough.

Sory dude, I'm just annoyed by random fics like this immidiately getting the featurebox, when other like myself strain, and never achieve it.

call it jealousy, but I just wish that the way things worked were backwards as what they are. Nothing on the author here.

677566 Fell like hitchin my wagon and checkin' out my fic if you're gonna be non-constructive? XD Self advertising: because I'm a meaningless whore.


Only this can be said. SOmehow i managed to read this whole thing without gaining a wing boner.

Dash if you love the melon so much why don't you mar.....OK nvm

What in the BUCK did I just read. :rainbowhuh: - my face for the whole time.

:rainbowhuh: ...My thought processes are on separate continents right now, so I suppose that's good, right?

This is the pinnacle of bad fanfiction.

This is almost as good as that fic where twilight was a pea. Bravo good sir!

Dat wingboner in the middle :pinkiecrazy:


I was being sarcastic as well.

I thought that was the point?

Found the ending part to be great, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle instantly coming up with an alibi after the explosion. Looks like we killed a friend, deny all participation!


Very nice, good read.

678450 oh...oops. I was being serious. And threw in the lingo. XD

I take things too far; cause I'm dumb like that.

Geez!!! Shipping anything with Dash turns out ridiculous! I love it!

677442 Well, the whole point of the story is to make fun of Dash's shipping world, and my favorite food is Watermelon. Ergo, this was born!

More like she "sejuices" a watermelon, amirite?

I was really unsure if I should read it but uhh uhhhh :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Okay immature me go back into the hole from which yu came

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