• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen July 17th


I love My Little Pony! Toola Roola is my favourite!


My name is Sarah and I am eight and a half and I'm really pretty because Daddy and Mommy says so and I am also a princess. I have brown hair and blue eyes but no freckles. I really want a pony because ponies are cute and I love ponies lots and lots but Daddy and Mommy says I can't have one.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 125 )

Best story ever.

Author Interviewer



Sarah is best Sunshine Princess. :derpytongue2::pinkiecrazy:

(....and I thought the crazy fantasies I had when I was a little girl where messed up. :rainbowderp: )


That was a story.

That's fucked up!

Ummmm ok? I dont know what just happend but umm what the flying fuck

"There was a big pile of ice cream and chocolate and marmite and bacon and chicken and beans."

Sarah eats MARMITE?!?!?! Truly, this child is born of Satan. *ties Sarah to a stake and sets her on fire, gleefully cackling as she screams*

And that's how little boys write stories. Cuz girls are icky and have cooties and should get burninated! :moustache:

This is SO hilarious. Really great satire. I loved it! :raritystarry:

Wow. This is seriously messed up.

I like it:pinkiecrazy:.

I gasped! "But that cannot be true! I am just a kid!"

"No, you are the princess." she said.

And then I was the princess.

:rainbowlaugh: Bahaha!

Then Applejack wakes up screaming, "What a terrible nightmare..." :rainbowlaugh:

And then I was the princess.

:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp: holy shit. TWWWIIIIIIIIIISSSSSTTTT
didn't see that coming

so yea...i kept reading... and that turned....dark...
make moar. pls god make moar

Poor Lofty and Flapjackjack :fluttercry:

Sarah is best princess :fluttershysad:

Well that sure was interesting enough. :applejackconfused:

Sarah is going to grow up to be a very influential person one day. I'm surprised she's okay with Dawn Miller sausages, too.

Also, this story is incredible in an existentially terrifying way.

Oh, Lofty and Flapjackjack.
We hardly knew ye.

:derpytongue2:That was simply amazing. More please!!:derpytongue2::pinkiehappy:

oh god whyyyyyy :rainbowlaugh:

What the effing fuck, man... :derpyderp2:

I NEED FUKIN MOAAAAAARRRR :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

And then Sarah grew up to be Princess Celestia.

Gingerbread is best pony.

... My sisters name is Sarah

She's 17...

It would not surprise me if her internal monologue goes exactly like this...

:pinkiegasp:WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!?!

Wow... A story I can honestly say is better than My Little Dashie.

I cried many manly tears... :fluttercry:

At first it was kind of cute
Then it turns...


I want to see the ponies take revenge on Sarah... Yes... Get that kid tortured for the devil that she is... :pinkiecrazy:

Sorry, that was a touch cruel for my delicate tastes. There is a fine line between comedic sociopathy and plain old sociopathy, and feel that this is on the wrong side. Maybe if she got her just desserts I'd be okay, but as it is, I feel disturbed and not much else.

Dear lord
so much win

"and Daddy won't hit you"

Priceless. So many hilarious moments in this, probably the funniest fic I've ever read. FlapjackJack needs to be canon.

she used alot of big words for a 6 yr old
and she made a 2000+ story with barely any spelling mistakes


This story reminds me of the Peter Pan book and The Hoofwitch Horror fanfic. Both are good reads, I recommend the reading of The Hoofwitch Horror on youtube, and both are horrifying in their own ways.

397686 Don't say scary things like that...

399508 Oh, but I can already see it. Something takes Celestia out of commission for say 3 days and puts for example one of the CMC, or Pipsqueak, or Dinky, or Pinchy, or somepony even younger in a position of absolute power. Returning, Celestia first meets Mane 6 stammering trying to frame what happened in a positive context. "Really, how bad it is. Just tell me straight how bad it is. I know what an unprepared foal can do with power, I've been an unperpared foal with power tell me how many dead!?!"

And then it turns out nothing happened beyond a gross mismanagement of the budget, a food fight, a new giant bouncy castle in the courtyard and overall failure of all princess-dependent duties except maybe the sun (they must have needed a replacement Sunshine Princess to keep something running). Because there are many that age who already have some concept of responsibility and empathy.

Psychologically realistic response from Celestia to the revelation, as well understandable questions from the others, should follow.

"And then I was the princess."

Best freaking line.


Best human in Equestria story I've ever read. Also the only one. Grimdark humour ftw!:scootangel:

Words cannot describe how awesome this is. :trollestia:

Not sure if grimdark...

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