What They Don't Know

by SoundoftheWaves

Won't Hurt Me

Every morning, without fail, Diamond Tiara will spring from her bed to the mirror. Check her reflection. Brush her mane and coat. Adjust her tiara on her head. Apply make-up. She'll smile at herself, at the pony whom every morning, without fail, smiles back.

Then she'll trot downstairs for breakfast. Her daddy always, always, takes time to eat breakfast with her, no matter what. Never lunch, and he misses dinner most weeknights, but breakfast is theirs.

They'll talk about fashion, politics, entertainment, sports, school, work, anything really, as their food is served. Diamond will choke down the herbs she knows she needs but still hates the taste of, and then wash them down with some juice. Her daddy will put a hoof comfortingly on her own, and tell her how much he loves her.

Though Diamond loves her mother and siblings and Silver Spoon, her favorite pony will always be her daddy. He had been the one to volunteer to move with her when ponies just kept getting worse, and he is always there to help her. She loves being able to start every morning by spending time with him.

Then she'll go back upstairs to get ready for school. Pack up the homework she had done (or not) the night before. Grab any books she might need. Take her Ponyville ID with her, smiling down at the words written next to her picture. Then she'll slip that into the front pouch of her bag. Just in case.

Finally, she goes back to the mirror and looks over her appearance one last time, looking for anything that might be out of place, might identify her as something other than what she is.

Diamond Tiara walks to school on her own, despite her daddy's insistence that he'd love to take her. Silver Spoon's house is right on the way to school (well, actually, it's a five minute detour) but it's worth it to walk to school with her best friend.

Diamond loves Silver Spoon. They'd met after she'd first moved to Ponyville, at that awkward age where names are the only obvious difference between a filly and a colt. They'd been immediate best friends, bonding over colt bands and their desire to leave Ponyville for somewhere more extravagant.

Silver had wanted to move to Manehatten, which Diamond had immediately hated the idea of. She would never go back there, she'd explained. Not too much detail, of course, but she had explained that the city was truly a terrible place to live, and that Diamond had hated the seven years spent living there. These days, they instead plan to move to Canterlot together, where Silver can study the culinary arts and Diamond can work for Barnyard Bargains, far away from their Manehatten branch, and any ponies who might recognize her.

So every morning they meet up and walk to school, discussing crushes or concerts or where they are going on holiday. The walk from Silver's to school is relatively short, only about fifteen minutes, but Diamond lives for these moments with her friend.

Once they arrive at school she'll usually seek out the Crusaders. Diamond didn't initially plan to target them, really. Sure, she poked fun at them for not having cutie marks, but she didn't hate them until after they'd ruined her cutecinera. She'd wanted, her entire life, to experience that moment, to be acknowledged for who she is, and she had been upstaged and ignored.

Only Silver had stayed by her side, therefore she was friends with Silver and picked on the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

School itself was always boring and tedious, only lunch and recess actually managing to break up the otherwise endless drone of Ms. Cheerilee's voice. Still, Diamond would take the drafty Ponyville school over the private academy she'd attended in Manehatten any day.

Every other Wednesday Diamond would meet her daddy after school, and together they would go over to the Ponyville hospital, the whole reason they had moved to Ponyville in the first place. They would meet Doctor Stable, and he would document any changes in her body and perform the necessary spells. They would celebrate her progress. He would make sure she had enough of the gross herbs she had to eat every morning, and then they would be on their way for another two weeks.

All other days, Diamond would spend time with Silver, write letters to her mother and siblings, do homework, and occasionally spend time with her daddy at his work. She might go to the spa if she's feeling especially good, herself and Silver Spoon enjoying facials and massages. If she felt especially bad, she would seek out the Crusaders, who never failed to get her angry.

All ponies, at least to a certain extent, made her angry, but the Crusaders always managed to evoke her rage. How they didn't have to even try. Eventually they would start puberty and get their marks. They wouldn't have to go through blood tests and magical manipulation and hormone therapy to keep from looking wrong, because their bodies hadn't betrayed them. Even Silver, Diamond's best friend, would occasionally make a mindless comment and set her blood boiling. Silver didn't know, of course. Diamond had never told her, just said she met her mother every other Wednesday, eaten her herbs in private whenever they had a sleepover, had never explained why her cutie mark meant so much.

The mark on her flank, which she had been warned might not come due to the therapy blocking her male puberty, which she would occasionally stop to stare at, grinning in a very unladylike way, meant the world to her. It told the world who she was.

She was Diamond Tiara. A daddy's girl, a fashionista, a filly. No matter what those jerks in Manehatten had said, she was a filly. Ponyville knew who she was, and had never had any reason to doubt. Had never heard the words screamed at her during her time at Manehatten Foal's Academy. Never wondered why she and her daddy had moved halfway across Equestria from their family. Didn't know how much they'd had to fight for her Ponyville ID, which she always carried in her saddlebags, to have an F next to the word "gender".

They could never know, because then her carefully constructed world would fall apart. Silver would hate her, the Crusaders would finally have ammo to fight with, and she would be an outcast again.

So every morning Diamond Tiara carefully constructs her appearance. Because, though she'll never admit it, Diamond is terrified of somepony knowing the truth about who she is.

A transpony. Born a filly, stuck in a colt's body, finally being let free.

Author's Note:

I wanna establish this: I am not trans. I just wanted to portray Diamond Tiara in a unique way, and tried very hard to be as respectful as possible. So if you are, and anything here seems offensive, please let me know.

Comments

[StarRibbon]

That..was the best Diamond Tiara I have ever read.

[DualKitsune]

This is amazing! It's one of those fics that give DT a real reason to be the way she is. Fear. The most powerful of all motivations. It's wonderful.

[Aquaman]

Well, I'm sold. And didn't expect to be.

Nicely done.

[The Axe]

I don't comment on fics much but I love this fic. Good work.

[QueenMoriarty]

spent living there there

You only need one 'there'.

I'll be honest, this isn't an angle I've seen very much of. Transgender anxiety is definitely a new raison courroux for DT.

[Lady Froey]

They could never know, because then her carefully constructed world would fall apart. Silver would hate her

I don't think a friend like Silver Spoon would leave Diamond Tiara if she did find out, maybe a surprise and/or shock but nothing drastic like leaving her behind as a friend.

stuck in a colt's body

As a trans person I always groan at the use of "trapped in the wrong body," but others go by it as well. Depends on the person.

---

I like it though, a bit short but gets straight to the point and all that.

[Alex Warlorn]

The twist at the end felt random and could have been replaced with anything.

[Zyrian]

6359237 It was pretty strongly hinted at throughout the story though.

[Mauser1888]

I really enjoyed this take on DT. It surprised me just how well it seems to fit her character.

[deadpansnarker]

Sounds to me like DT should stand for Denying Testosterone...

[SoundoftheWaves]

6359213 I don't think she would either. However, because of Diamond's past experiences, she's immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusion.

Also, I'm sorry. As I said, I myself am not trans, and I saw that used a lot online. If you don't mind me asking, what would you use instead?

[Lady Froey]

6360261
Prob just refer to her as a mare who always identified herself as one, again others still use the "trapped in body" thing so eh.

[Telaros]

I honestly wish this could have gone on longer. Would love to read more of this Diamond Tiara, I think you wrote it very belieable and I can't see what anyone could find offensive in how you portrayed her. Fantastic job.

Seriously, this here could have been a prologue to a greater story.

[Diamond Sparkle]

Diamond has a real reason to be a brat in this fic.

[TheAmazingPeanuts]

Great story, but I think the story should be longer because I think it's very interesting.

[The Balefire Pegasus]

Illya Leonov has an audio reading, for those who wish to listen.

[PresentPerfect]

Very nicely done. :)

[Loganberry]

An interestingly different look at pre-redemption DT. I did see the reveal coming a little before the end, and I'm not totally sure how Equestrian it all feels -- but it's a fascinating idea regarding why DT might be the way she is. (Well, was now.)

[MintyRest]

Short is fine. I like it, and it gets the emotion across well.

It is a really interesting theory too.

[Atom Smash]

Nice story.

Still doesn't excuse her being a complete asshole to the crusaders though.

[TheOneAJ]