• Member Since 25th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Sunday

DerpyStarlet


I will not cry, unless I need to.

Sequels1



T

This story is a sequel to Making Adjustments


Snails is a colt. He's shy, slow, clumsy, and most ponies don't bother trying to get to know him. Which is fine, because Snails doesn't need their company anyways. He's got his friends and they've got him. He also has a secret, one that brings him shame and fear. He's very afraid that somepony will find out, and that'll be the end of him.

But, one day, he learns that he might not be alone. And maybe, his secret doesn't have to be that much of a secret. Snails struggles to cope with the harsh reality of his situation, but will his will alone be enough? Or is his secret going to cause more problems than he can deal with?

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 47 )

Does she have Asperger's as well? Interesting move. I wonder what this surprisingly eloquent mind of hers hides. :pinkiegasp:

Never lose sight of that blackness,
for it shan't consume you now.
You have much to experience,
much to become,
then cast aside your fault-filled life
and be reborn into maidendom this very day.

We shall read on.:pinkiesmile:

I do hope you'll return to this soon, because the premise is rather interesting.:twilightsmile:

Friendship binds you tighter
as the cursed nights draw away
and a warmth shall spread so dearly this day.
May you find bliss,
may you find acceptance within this love.
At last,
become yourself.

Awaiting further releases.:fluttershysad:

5206622
I do too. I'd work on it nonstop if I could.

There needs to be more Glittershell fics! :applecry:

5223061
She won't be called glittershell in this though.

5223241 oh, sorry I just assumed lol. Still the same premise though, and it brings light to a little used character and gives purpose. Other fics that include Snails are just "oh he's dumb and only meant to provide comedy"

5223252
I don't think he's dumb, just slow at being smart. And maybe a bit of a space case.

5223255 I could definitely see that in what you wrote so far and I like it. a pony doesn't have to be fast to be smart, so making him/her like this adds a new dimension to the story.

5223260
Thank you. I just hope I can do it right.

Awesome sequel but I have just a request/suggestion that could make this story possibly a bit more popular.
Try having a fairly regular update schedule for example around 2K words Every 3 days or something like 5K words every week are fairly common updating schedules. You also might want to add something into the story like a magical form of HRT/SRS for Star and Snails (For some reason I just don't like it as a filly's name :applejackunsure:) I'm sure that in due time this story will get more recognition; you're writing is evolving in a positive way and your story is good! :twilightsmile:

5254083
First off... the schedule. I really can't give a gauranteed schedule because it's already hectic. Second, hrt? Srs? I don't know what those stand for. And I'm Sorry for both of these points. I hope I can continue to create product you like.

5255402 Oh it's okay, just was a little tip is all.
And since this is a transgender fic I'm really surprised you don't know what both of those terms stand for O_o anyways.
HRT stands for hormone replacement therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_(transgender) which is usually followed by SRS which stands for sex reassignment surgery http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_reassignment_surgery.
Since I'm pretty sure the medical world would be much more magical and stuff in the MLP universe I thought there would be some sort of equivalent you could implement in the story.

5256908
Oh, Yeah. I knew about those, I just didn't know they had acronyms. I will probably bring up the topics later. Maybe in this story, maybe in one of the stories after it.

5256963 Yeah it just only seems logical is all what I'm saying. :twilightsmile:

....Well. I have a newfound respect for Diamond Tiara.

5262449
Funny how I created respect.

5263564 Now im wondering:
Snail's Mother just kicked her out, and now she's moving. Where is she gonna live? With one of the crusaders? Or Diamond Tiara? I doubt DT would let him, but its still interesting.

5263577
That is the big question isn't it? Tune in next time!

Personally, I'm eh on the story. I love what it stands for, but there's numerous issues. It needs a proofreader for one; I know the author can use proper grammar, which only makes it more egregious when it's not done right. Random capitalization of words, missing possessive apostrophes, that sort of thing. Additionally, I can't shake the feeling that this story was written with aditional characters, and adapted for ponies afterwards. I hesitate to use the term "OOC", but they feel like only rough approximations of the characters. Finally, the story feels too short; major events come and go far too quickly.

5284234
The pacing feels fast to me too, and characterization too. The random capitalization is due to the fact I can't always catch when auto correct does something stupid like that. Same with some other grammar mistakes. I'm using my phone because I haven't had access to myusual method of writing, and it has changed my efficiency slightly. I apologize for that. I'll remember these things and try to amend them in the future.

...Woah...

I feel this. I know this. I know what this is like. Put on the orange sock and you hate what you see. Put on the purple and it doesn't quite lay right. You want, you yearn, you need to be one, but no matter how hard you try, you can never cut ties with the other.

I'll continue here. I'm curious as to where this goes.

Oh, if only I could find a club like that. They wouldn't even have to focus on helping me with my dysphoria. Just having a place where I belong, where I truly belong. I'd give almost anything to find that place.

5223260 Dang, I've been seeing you everywhere lately! Well, hi again.

I feel like you've just hit me in the face with a twenty pound bag of pleasant surprises. This was beautiful, if a bit short and slippy in the format department. You've got my like. I'd love to see a continuation of this. Like it's been said before, there really needs to be a lot more trans Snails stories, even if she doesn't go by Glittershell. :twilightsmile:

5314778
There will be a continuation, Nd my hope is to get it out soon.

5314778
I just need to know Which once to write first, Dinky, or Diamond Tiara. I haven't gotten any suggestions.

5315102 I'd say start with Diamond Tiara, as she's more important right now. Once you've set up the scene, add Dinky in with some sort of conflict. Not necessarily that Dinky is the conflict, but I wouldn't make it a non-event, if you know what I mean. That's just how I'd go about it.

5314736 I have to finish reading this one. Apparently I forgot to track it, thanks for reminding me lol

Oh, shoot. I neglected to favoruite. Well, this is certainly interesting. Diamond's motivations...I'd like to learn of them!:raritystarry:

A fine resolution. The mother may have shown her fallible love, but I'm sure someone fa rmore capable will take her place. My, I'm rather surprised it's Diamond who is the better of the duo this time. I hope to see Silver again, causing strife, and ultimately facing acceptance. I will be looking forward to the sequel~ :yay:

A daylight's wonder remains,
and so long as you bask in this truth's thrill
no nightmare shall claim your bliss.
Your search has yielded;
the name of dearest friends
be ever with you through your nights,
and never again shall you falter
on this road to acceptance—
to you, who still wander lost in the fragments of past,
transfer unto this dream your strength
and rest blissfully on the vehicle,
on this road to redemption.

Excellent work, dear Author! :pinkiehappy:
Indeed, a pleasure to have read.

The only problem I find in this chapter is that when we get to the club house scene with Snails/Glittershell, the CMC make it feel like they are reading a entry on Wikipedia. The characters don't sound like themselves, but rather they sound like they are reading off a paragraph on Wikipedia.

Still, I find it okay.

Not the best, but I enjoyed it. To me the characters seem a bit more different, especially Silver Spoon.


I remember you submitting this to LGBT as well, It's been added now.

I'm going to download both stories so far as text files and give them a quick dash through my obsessive correction processor, then pm the corrected chapters back to you so that you can do a relatively painless copy and paste replacement.

They aren't bad, but the consistent errors are a distraction.

In other words: I volunteer to be your editor. This is not something I do often.

5490274
oh, well, thank you! I tend not to get editors for the sole fact I'm impatient, inconsistent, and when I finally do finish a chapter I don't want my readers to wait anymore. The fact I tend to write on a phone doesn't help because autocorrect is a pain in the flank and tends to capitalize random words and a bunch of other stuff I don't always catch... so, yeah, sorry. but also thanks a lot! I really appreciate it.:pinkiehappy:

5489657
thank you! and as for silver spoon... I know she tends to be a lackey, but I thought about it and decided it wasn't the direction I had planned for her. I intend to clarify on this in the next story, hopefully.

Not sure if the lack of a Diamond Tiara tag was to keep that sort of surprise element, but far as Main Characters go, she certainly played a bigger role in this than the CMC. I'd strongly suggest adding a DT tag, Snails and Diamond take center stage in this despite whatever role the CMC played in the earlier short scenes with them.

Suddenly the sequel makes a lot more sense. To think this was a thing and it passed me by due to missing tag.

That ending was a bit sharp with Silver, I can certainly see the attitude existing in the Nobility due to how important lineage and keeping family lines going to insure their assets never get such thoughts in their heads that would interfere with their future plans for their foals.

Sort of got a lot here to work with, at least for the sequel if anything, if you ever decide to build more on Snail's mother. Keep up the good work!

5962242
Thank you, I edited the tags. It never even occured to me, I hadn't meant for Diamond to take the role she did at first. And Yes, the next story will have much more past building.

Listening to 50 ways to say good bye while reading this v.v I shall read on...

:0: I listened to the sound of silence and read this and I was crying by the end on how true this is for me ;-;

Release the tear dam mixed with laughing gas particles :derpyderp1:

A phrase, even of 4 words, can have huge meaning. This starting chapter captures this extremely well. Seeing as Snails is so under developed in the show you can do whatever you want with them.

look at me typing big words... ha... :twilightblush:

*fan girls in corner of room*
The story was so good! By the end I felt little rain drops hit my face even though evn though it wasn't raining. gosh dang it rain! Okay, no more about how I cried. I like AU where Snails/Glitter Shell is a transgender MTF. It's so cute and has so many possible storys! so many! Can't wait to read the other stories. :pinkiehappy:

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