• Member Since 26th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

DerpyStarlet


I will not cry, unless I need to.

T

Sunset Shimmer used to run the school, she used to have all the power. Then, in the act of gaining more power, she lost it all. She wasted all her time just to lose everything and sink into a deeper hole, it's all thanks to that Twilight Sparkle. But now that Sparkle is gone, she'll teach everyone that Sunset Shimmer will always shimmer on. Sunset deals with all the post mistake stress and tries to live her life. She just has to wait it out until she can make it back to Equestria after her thirty moons are over, easier said than done. She still has to deal with five annoying girls that all want to try and teach her friendship, the scary part is that Sunset is feeling forced into accepting their help. The Elements of Harmony are in her system, and whether she likes it or not they're dead-set on helping her learn friendship.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 84 )

Just thought I should say I like your story so far and await to see how you develop Sunsets relationships with all the other characters. And am really intrigued to see how Celestia being her guardian will pane out.

well, more or less. Sunset is an interesting character in my opinion, I'm working it all through my head myself.:twilightsmile:

Aku

Random fav and upvote!

I am loving this story so far! Even though I watched only bits and pieces of the "Equestria Girls" movie, I found myself quickly becoming a fan of Sunset Shimmer. So in turn, I've become a fan of 'Sunset redemption' stories as well.

I like how you are showing Sunset making some gradual changes in her actions towards the (Hu)mane 5, yet she is digging her heels and stubbornly resisting the girls' attempts to draw her in the friendship circle. To me, it seems that Sunset is fighting for control, where if she does become a friend to the girls, its because its her choice. But so far, the magical effects of harmony seems to be forcing her to be a better friend, whether Sunset wants to or not.

My only criticism is the story layout. Sunset's thoughts are too clustered together into one paragraph. If you could space them out, it would make for an easier read.

I also hope to see a chapter where Sunset interacts with the human CMC. I don't know if Sunset ever spoke to the CMC, but it would be interesting to see if the CMC can teach Sunset a thing or two about friendship. Since you're using 4th season episode references, maybe you can use the "Flight to the Finish" episode in a future chapter?

Keep up the great work! I look forward to the next chapter! I'd love to see Sunset coming to a point where she begins to accept friendship because she chooses to be a friend.

4516012
I do plan on using a bunch of episodes, not just the fourh season. I also have some non episodemrelated stuff planned. I actually find myself more and more fond of sunset as a character as I go on, I just hope I can manage to do her character justice.:twilightblush:

This is getting interesting. And the fight reminded me of Albinocorn's Long Road to Friendship to some extent.

I think she is forgetting something. The Humane 5 technically didn't have magic ether but they still manage the Rainbow beam at full power. And she did have the Element of Magic on her. AND the fact the effect of the Elements is forcing her to do things.

5131351
See, she hasn't figured it all out completely yet. And it is a little different.

5131307
Yeah, except they end up fighting togeher in that one. They still don't like eachother, Rainbow is just slightly more ok with Sunset now. ThT, and she feels kinda bad about the whole thing.

5132001 Well, In LRtF, they start off fighting each other. By the way, what does "ThT" mean?

5132035
It's supposed to be `that`, but my tablets glitchy.

5132043 Ok, perfectly understandable.

This... needs some work. It's really, really sloppy. This chapter gives off the impression that you know how grammar works but didn't care enough to go back and make sure you had everything correct. As a result, the story was incredibly difficult to read. The mess of grammar was just too much to try and get through.

5310035
Yeah, I'm Sorry about that. I'll try to do better.

I won't say that their company was less than enjoyable, but I'm just not ready to be that engaged with those girls. I'm still pretty peeved about the crown, but less so then I was before. The post stress rage is mostly gone, in its place is annoyance. This annoyance doesn't hinder my logical thinking like the rage, thankfully. y was less than enjoyable, but I'm just not ready to be that engaged with those girls. I'm still pretty peeved about the crown, but less so then I was before. The post stress rage is mostly gone, in its place is annoyance. This annoyance doesn't hinder my logical thinking like the rage, thankfully.

It seems you are repeating yourself in this paragraph, might wanna do something about it. It seems you are repeating yourself in this paragraph, might wanna do something about it. :trollestia:

5345389
Ah, I'll fix that ASAP, thank you.

You have issues with repetitive sentence structure. Lots of "I can", "I feel", "I did".

5369771 whereTHEFUCKISTHENEXTCHAPETER!!???!!!

5405837
It's in the works! I'm so Sorry! It's near done too, I'll try and finish that as soon as possible! I just... dont know when that will be...

YYeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

when i saw that the updates are so spaced out i got sad because i really like this story and i just wanna keep reading it forever. im also glad that it isnt being rushed!

5451401
Yeah, I got a Tad stuck with this chapter and I don't want it to come out terrible.

I think her name is actually a play on Tricksy, as in "gollum speak"(for lack of a better name/examples). Gollum calls them tricksy, meaning deceptive and that sort of links into a magicians "acting"

Also presidigation = prestige magic. Heh

- That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige".

I question using Boast Busters but nice chapter over all. You gave me an idea for Philomena.:moustache:

I had forgotten this story but I am glad I found it again. Love it!

5481080
I'm glad you like it. I do aim to please.

Lol 20 bucks says luna wont believe a word of celestias story about philominea not actually makeing a bet lol

5494900
you'll just have to wait and see! :raritywink:

So I suppose Sunset has some form of magic that only she is capable to fell and manipulate, even though she did so unintentionally.
And by all the times she used it, it was always a flash.
And of course, the world "flash", apart from recalling a certain waifu stealer, is connected to light.
And light itself, apart from recalling a certain alicorn princess or even two, is usually connected with redemption.
So, basically the idea is: the more Sunset redeems, the more she is able to use this "light magic", and the more she uses it, the more she starts to find out what friendship is.
...
Or maybe I'm just working my brains for nothing.
Anyway, good story, hope to see more!

5500808
Well, actually, it's kinda implied the other way around. the more she realizes what friendship is, the more she is able to use it. but I won't go too in depth. because that is the direction of major spoilers. (Which is a joke because it implies I know where the stories going.)

Really good story! I actually like these where Sunset is trying to resist friendship and yet it's slowly changing her.

I think it'd be hilarious if Sunset later gets confronted by RD's mom about the previous fight and brought RD to apologize for starting it.

If she's really concerned about being taken in by Celestia, she could just throw away the form.

Just saying....

5511975
She could, but that's not her issue. All will be revealed in time...:raritywink:

Where did zecora come from:rainbowhuh:

After re-reading this for the umpteenth time, I can't believe I didn't pick up on Applejack saying her folks won't mind her coming home at that hour. I can only assume you are referring to Granny Smith?

Although it would be an interesting break from the norm to have her parents there.

6257796
Granny Smith, yes. Definitely not a slip of the tongue.

5560037
You sure it's Zecora?... Yeah, OK, who else could it be?

5560037
6269806
...Zecora?
Oh... her.
well, it's not Zecora. Somebody else, but more on her later.

6269865
Eerie rhyming and it's not Zecora? I'm intrigued.

FInally! Okay why didn't it work of it was the human equivlant to the Alicorn Amulet?

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