Episode 5: I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost (Crystal Empire Arc Part 4)
You run with all the other panicking ponies in a mad mob as you start yelling aloud in your fear.
“I can’t let the Smoke Monster get me, otherwise I will be surviving in the wild, there will be plot holes in my life that will never be answered and characters will randomly appear and disappear and never be mentioned again, and there will be alternate universes and flashbacks and…”
You stop dead in your tracks as a horrible realization hits you.
“OH NO! My life already is LOST!” you scream as you hold your head in horror before turning your anger to the skies.
“Buck you J.J. Haybrams and Haymon Lindelof!” you scream to the heavens over how bad that show got.
You then hear a dark “Muhahahahaha!” behind you and you see the dark mist with an evil face gaining ground.
“Agh, focus Bug!” you chide yourself, “We can worry about good shows that ended up sucking later, I haven’t forgotten about you Heroes, but right now, I have to focus at the matter at hoof.”
You look up and stare the chuckling smoke down, hoping inspiration hits you. Unfortunately for you, no one offers any. Thankfully, the magic bubble once more appears and stops the monster’s progress. With a little breathing room you begin to think about solutions.
Kichi’s Comment
"Gaaahh... I need to do something!! I need to tell someling or thing or king... King... Wait... What was his name? King... Sombro?" you ask aloud as the monster pounds on the bubble.
Just then an image flashes in your head of the dictator with a white luchador mask on and groaning at your favorite professional wrestler Tiger Millionaire.
“Although that would be an awesome fight, I don’t think that’s the right name,” you say as you shake your head from that image.
"King... King... Sombrero?" you think aloud.
Your mind then flashes to the dark unicorn in a big Sombrero and an awesome moustache dancing in front of a stunned Celstia, Luna and Cadence with a pair of maracas.
“El hombre del sombrero nos envió! El nos contó historias asombrosas!” he prattles while mariachi music prattles in the background.
“No, that doesn’t sound right either... King... King... Smokey?"
An image of the undead king shows him sitting on a bean bag chair in a hazy room with beads on the door and shag fur on the wall. He has a tie-dyed peace shirt on and his eyes are blood shot red.
“Like…you ever thought about how Clark Canter and Supermane are never in the same room?” he asks as smoke comes out his mouth. Across from him, some Dude you’ve seen around the Ponyville Bowling Alley answers back.
“Whoa…Far out man…”
This image too is pushed out of your mind, but this time it’s because you hear a growl of
"CRRYYYYYSTAAAAAAALLLLSSSSS...." from the beast behind the bubble.
"He sure likes that word a lot…King Crystal?" you ask before you again see another image.
The evil stallion stands in the desert with an awesome goatee and hat on, as well as glasses.
He throws a bag of crystals at your feet.
“Now, say my name…” he says menacingly.
“I don’t know your name. Can’t you give me a hint?”
“You already know my name, you said it earlier,” he says smoothly.
“I know that, I just can’t think what it is right now!” you shout back.
“You’re Faust Damned Right” he says with a smile.
You shake your head from this thought since you really really hope he isn’t Heisenburro. But still, it’s bugging you that his name is on the tip of your tongue and you can’t figure it out.
"Maybe the doctor knows how to stop a smoke king?" you think before you take out the Death doctor notepad and write
"Doctor, need help, a thousand year old smoke king has come back... How can I stop him?"
After a couple of seconds there is an answer
"The Doctor you are calling is busy or out of order, try again later or call another doctor" it says making you facehoof.
"Okay... I can't get help from the Doctor, and Twilight is not going to let me help, Cadence is busy, I can't tell Fluttershy the truth, and her friends are not going to help me... I can only do one thing... Search for the wise words of my Grandbuggy" you think aloud.
Flashback
You were sitting on the riverbank fishing with your Grandbuggy, and it was boring because the fish weren’t biting. You had a goofy grin on your face as you were thinking about the pretty bug you were going to ask to the Heart’s and Hooves dance. Grandbuggy meanwhile tried to instill his wisdom to you.
"Stop Daydreaming, this is important!” he grunted, knocking you out of your thoughts. “Remember this because this could help you in the future. If suddenly you are in the middle of a crystal city and an evil smoky king with dark magic tries to enter, what you need to defeat him is very easy, you only need..." he continues, but you stop listening as you picture your crush and you dancing together.
"Are you listening to me? It could be important!" Grandbuggy says when he catches your goofy face again.
"Bah! That is a problem for future me! Also, what are the chances that that could happen?” you said smugly.
Present Times
"Curse you, young me!" you groan and look to the shield that the evil king is trying to destroy.
"Maybe I can try to talk him? He seemed nice when I met him in the other dimension...when he was training children in the dark arts…teaching them to kill…and told them to cut my head off.”
You then rub your throat at that thought.
"Or maybe not... Where are the Ghostbusters when you need them?" you groan.
Just as soon as you think this, the magic bubble pops again, and with a chuckle, the smoke monster makes his way in once again.
“Well, I guess there’s only one reasonable thing to do…”
First Off
Scream like a little girl!
“EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”
“EEEEEEEE!!!” you scream like a little filly, causing the smoke monster to momentarily stop and tilt it’s head at you in confusion. Using this distraction you run away, screaming as unmanly as possible. As you flee, you can’t help but think.
Run, at least for now. You don't stand a chance against a dictator made of mist and fog, and especially against an enemy you know absolutely nothing about (which should be the main reason, but I'm sure you'll find some hilarious, illogical reason for fleeing).
BrownDog77’s Comment
“I don’t stand a chance against this thing, it’s made of mist and fog and smoke! What the Buck can I do to even hurt it?! I don’t even know this guy’s name, much less how to hurt him! I’m bucked!”
With your body and mind panicked, you continue running, flailing your limbs wildly.
And as you do, you keep bumping into running screaming crystal ponies, knocking them down and causing them to lose color as you try to save yourself.
“AAAAAHHHH!!!”
“WHY?! WHY?!”
“NOOOOO!!!” they shout as you knock them over.
This is all your fault!” you yell to them. “If only you would’ve stayed distracted!”
Even as you say this, you hear the cries of a lot of non ponies, and the panicked young gasp of your daughter behind you in the saddlebags.
“Daddy, What about the animals!” Nightshade shrieks worriedly.
You look back and see that the Petting Zoo is still locked and all the cuddly wombats, rabbits, kangaroos and other non-talking creatures whimpering in fright of the coming dark monster.
“FFFFFUUUUUZZZZYYYY…” the monster hisses with a sick smile as it makes it’s way towards the trapped creatures.
“OH, I HATE THIS CLICHÉ!” you yell as you rush back to the pen, break it open with a Falcon Punch and free them all, with Nightshade grabbing one of the Wombats and taking it into the inventory with her.
Reluctant Wombat Added to Inventory
“Run you lesser mammals, RUN!!!”
You then look back into the angry smoky face of the former dictator.
“Mmmaaahhh fuzzzziiieess!!!” he growls at you in anger. His smoke limbs then lift a large chunk of crystal out of the ground and tosses it at you.
“EEEEPPP!” you shout and just barely get out of the way of the projectile.
You then run further into the city, looking to break his line of sight.
Kropsling66’s Comment
As you seek cover form King Something-or-another, you run in to the rest of the Deadly 6. They run past the screaming Crystal Ponies up to you, and you don’t know whether it’s because of Pinkie’s Pep Talk, your impending death via smoke monster, or some combination of the two, but you don’t flash to their other forms.
"Hey you, La Chumpo, What's going on?" Rainbow Dash asks.
"He's here! King Zombing!" you reply.
"You mean Sombra?"
"Whatever! He is here right now! I took away his fuzzy goodness and now he’s going to kill us all!"
“Fuzzy goodness?” asks Fluttershy.
“Yes Fuzzy Goodness! Now quickly! You girls gotta take him out!”
"What ya want us to do?" Applejack asks.
"We’ll go get Twilight and use the Elements to send his dark butt back to Tartarus" you say pointing to the chuckling smoke as it picks up a popcorn stand and pours all the contents of it into it’s mouth. Strangely the 5 mares all give you a sheepish smile.
"What's wrong? Why are you giving me that look?" you asked
"Well you see... we... don't have them" Rarity replies causing your eyes to go wide.
"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THEM?!" you shout in surprise.
"Well you see we asked Twilight if we should take the Elements with us, but she said no since it might make her fail her test. So we hopped on to the train and came straight here leaving behind the best bad guy busting weapon we have. THE END" Pinkie pie says as she finishes with a bow.
"ARE YOU GIRLS CRAZY WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?!" you shout using your royal voice.
“Uhh…”
“Umm…”
“Aahh…”
“Hmm…”
“Well…” they each ponder before they all shrug their shoulders at you.
"We got nothing. Guess the Crystal Empire is doomed" Pinkie Pie says nonchalantly with a smile.
Lucky us. Wait a minute the girls screwed up on something. My luck is beginning to turn around! You think happily, before mentally slapping yourself back into thought as a dark red crystal pops out of a nearby storefront causing Crystal Ponies to scream.
“OK then. If that’s the case then what we all have to do is make sure these civilians are safe!”
“Where in tarnation is safe at this point?” asks Applejack.
“Anywhere that’s not near King Spooky over there.”
“But surely he’ll follow us,” says Rarity.
You look up to the laughing monster as it chases a group of ponies and sigh.
Why is it always me? You wonder before turning to them.
“I know, which is why I am going to distract him!”
They all gasp.
“You’re going to distract him?” asks Fluttershy in a scared manner.
“Yes, so that you can get them to safety.”
“But that’s too dangerous, aren’t you just a fancy traveler?” asks AJ.
“Yeah, if anything, we all should just gang up on him. The Crystal Ponies can look out for themselves,” says Rainbow.
You turn and give her an angry glare which causes her to twitch back.
“Do you want their deaths’ on your hooves?” you ask her menacingly.
“I…uh…”
“Look at them, they’re all scared like sheep. They are panicking and acting irrationally. If you fight him and leave them without guidance, they are going to get killed in the crossfire,” you growl at her.
They all look at you in shock at what you’ve said.
“Believe me, I know what that guilt feels like, and you do not want to experience it.”
Rainbow nods her head at this.
“You’re right. Girls, let’s get these ponies back to the palace ASAP!” she shouts and flies off, and the others follow, but not before Applejack turns around and asks.
“What you said…how do you know how something like this feels?”
“Because I’ve seen it once before, and I never want to see it again,” you answer before turning around and heading towards King Sinatra.
OK, so the civilians are taken care of, and this guy is still mad at me for freeing the animals, now all I have to do is distract him…distract him.
You get a brilliant idea and yell up to him.
“Hey, King Zamboni!”
He glares down at you and stops chasing the group of Crystal Ponies he was after.
“FFFFFUUUUZZZZIIIIEEESSS!!!” he growls.
“Yeah yeah, I took away your little pets, but let me ask you this, how strong are you?”
“Sssstttrrrooonnnggg?” he seethes.
“Yes, for a puff of smoke, you have no problem picking up giant crystals. So naturally, you no strength challenge should be an issue for you right?”
He confusedly nods his smoky head.
“Well in that case, can you master the greatest challenge of all time?” you ask as you bring out the jar of pickles from earlier.
“PPPPIIIICCCCKKKLLLEEESSS!!!” he cries out happily.
“That’s right, the unopened pickle jar has stumped scholars for generations, can you master it?” you ask tossing him the jar to which he catches in his mist.
Using his dark tendrils he starts trying to open it, gaining a strained look on his face.
“Hah, even the great and mighty King Roomba can’t open it. Noling can, not without the assistance of a rubber glo…” you begin before being interrupted by a pop.
You see that he has opened the pickle jar and is laughing in triumph.
“Oh…Buck…” you swear.
The dark king then lifts the jar to his mouth and begins to drink the pickle juice and the pickles themselves without chewing, causing you to gag a little bit. After he finishes he lets out a satisfied sound.
“Ahh…refreshing. Now I can speak normally again now that my throat is no longer dry,” he says before looking to you.
“I think I liked you better when you were doing cavepony speak.”
“Now as I tried to say before, I AM GOING TO RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS FOR NOT LETTING ME PET THE FLUFFY CUTE LITTLE CREATURES!”
“EEP! LOOK A DISTRACTION!” you yell pointing behind him to which he turns around, causing you to run in the opposite direction.
“Hey, it still works!” you cry aloud.
“Get Back Here!” he yells in a demonic voice.
One Benny Hill Chase Later
After running from the ghostly foe, dodging into alleyways and store fronts, you manage to give him the slip.
“OK *pant pant* just gotta catch my breath and…”
to quoat DBZ abridged piccolo, DOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!
“DOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!” shouts Applejack from behind you, interrupting your thoughts. You quickly turn around.
“What?! What are you doing here, aren’t you supposed to be…” you yell back to her.
“I said Dooo-“ she shouts before you are crushed by a carnival game booth from above.
“Ha! Gotcha you little sucker!” growls King Simba.
“Mr. Hunko, are you OK?” asks Applejack as she runs over to your debris covered form.
SnapDrakeGames’ Comment
Everything gets wobbily as you stick your head out of the wreckage.
“I like pudding pops…” you warble.
“Say what?” asks AJ.
You shake your head, but your vision is still wobbily. Even still, you see the Deadly 6, except for Twilight, standing around you.
“I-I thought I told you to protect the civies…” you groan.
“We already did, they’re back at the palace with Flash Sentry, great distraction by the way,” says Rainbow Dash, before she gets a serious face.
“Now we do it my way,” she says. The rest nod in agreement, leading a charge towards the tyrant. Sombra grins in amusement at this, smoky energy pouring from his eyes as he launches a great ball of magic at the group. It explodes knocking some of them to the ground.
Pinkie Pie lands right next to you.
“What are you doing? He’s smoke, how do you think you can solve this?”
“Punch at it until it goes away? You know, like you always do?” says Pinkie.
“Hey, I don’t ALWAYS punch away my problems,” you defend, to which she just raises an eyebrow.
“OK, maybe 99% of the time…but still,” you say as you start unburying yourself.
“Ya, but we had to save you H.O. you got crushed. And so long as there’s a bigger bad Enemy Mine takes effect and we've got your back!" she cheerfully says as she helps you up.
Further away, Rainbow recovers and launches herself into the air. She darts towards Samba, her wings simply becoming a blur as she darts towards the unicorn. He lights his horn again, and Rainbow gasps as her wings become encased in crystal. The deadweights drag her down, and she plummets to the earth. He then snags her in his telekinesis, before launching her into a crystal house.
"Rainbow Dash! Yaaah!!!" With a cry of rage, Fluttershy darts towards the tyrant. With a flash of light, the ghost teleports to the left, evading the initial strike. Fluttershy lands acrobatically on the ground, before springing towards his new position. He grins, and releases a blast of magic that catches the pegasus off-guard, blasting her into an abandoned fair booth.
Pinkie and Applejack step up, the former tossing a variety of cupcakes and pies at the tyrant.
“Choke on the frosting you dingbat!” she shouts angrily.
The tyrant catches them in his telekinesis before they can do any harm, and a quick spark of magic incinerates the pastries. Spotting Applejack charging towards him, he grins. Lighting his horn, he allows black crystals to climb up his forelegs, forming crystallized gauntlets. He raises a hoof and blocks Applejack's first strike.
“Dagnabit!” cries AJ.
He swings his other foreleg around, clocking her from the side.
"Stupid mudpony," he growls as he uppercuts the mare, sending her backwards, sprawling to the ground.
“Shut up Flash!” you automatically yell, even though he wasn’t even remotely nearby to say that speciest comment.
"And as for you!" Alahambra cries as he turns towards Pinkie. The mare gasps, and raises her party cannon, but he fires a chunk of crystal from his horn, which slams into her, knocking her to the ground.
He then gives a maniacal cackle, before a jet of magic rushes past him, barely missing him. The tyrant turns to see Rarity on her hooves. Rainbow and Fluttershy rush forwards from the wreckage of their impact sites, and Pinkie and Applejack pry themselves from the ground. As one, the five friends charge towards the fallen King. He gives another cackle as he lights his horn. A blinding flash of light later, and the mares are spread across the ground, smoke rising from their unconscious bodies.
"N-no," you mutter as in a flash of madness, the unconscious mares are swapped for corpses, bloodied and mangled.
"No," you sob as Nightmare You flashes into Sombra's place. You close your eyes, trying to clear the image from your mind. Then you open them.
"No," you say in a low, clear voice, your face twisted into a scowl of rage, tears leaking slowly from your eyes.
He laughs like some baritone clown until you hurl a chunk of crystal that strikes him in the back of the head.
"Hey, Sauron-ripoff! Over here!" The unicorn turns around, only to receive a face full of Boomstick.
He goes toppling away in a mass of solid smoke as you twirl the staff in your hooves.
“So you can be hurt physically…good,” you growl.
He gets back up, his eyes lighting with fury as he fires a barrage of dark crystals at you. You slam the Boomstick against the ground, creating a shockwave that shatters the projectiles in midair. You launch yourself towards Sombra, who raises an enormous crystal in defense.
"Falcon... PUNCH!" you scream as you throw a flame-covered fist that smashes through the crystal, shattering it into tiny shards.
"Would you kindly GO BUCK YOURSELF!" you cry, activating the Bucking Bronco plasmid to suspend the mass of smoke in the air. You follow by leaping towards him. "Shoryuken!" you scream, catching the tyrant beneath the jaw and tossing him away. He crashes to the hard ground as you land steadily, ready to finish him.
Slowly, the smoke monster billows back to his full heighth from the ground.
"So," he says. "You've still got some fight in you after all, eh?"
"Bring it, Zambambo," you reply. The two of you charge at each other again.
He starts channeling magic in his horn while you run forth, jousting with the boomstick, and when you both connect, you both are launched away from each other.
BrownDog77’s Comment
You get tossed into a plumbing store where two crystal stallions are hiding. One in red overalls and another in green, and each one has an awesome bushy moustache.
“What are you all doing in here?”
“We-a gotta scared, and our turtles, they a-escaped,” says the one in red in a thick Romane accent.
“Well you’ve got to get to the palace now! A ghost is attacking!” you yell.
“A ghost? Well ahere, take-a this,” says the green one as he hands you what looks like a backpack with a vacuum cleaner attached to it.
“Works alike a charm,” he says before he and his brother both hop out of the building with tremendous jumps.
“Uh…OK then” you say as you go back outside to face your opponent.
“That staff, once I’ve killed you, I call dibs.”
“Buck you, it’s my Boom Stick! Anyway eat this!” you cry as you hold up the vacuum.
He begins to laugh, before suddenly he shrieks in fear as his essence, starting from his bottom half begins to get sucked into the vacuum.
“Ah, Ah! Stop that!” he growls out as he tries to float away from you.
“Not a chance Smokey!” you yell as you now chase the ghost around as HE screams for help.
Another Benny Hill Chase Scene (With A Vengeance) Later
You eventually corner him in an alley.
“Say hello to the 21st Century!” you awesomely say as you turn the vacuum onto maximum.
“No, NO!” he cries.
You laugh maniacally as he is about halfway through before the vacuum shuts off.
“Wh-what?” you cry out. You take off the backpack and look at some gauges, and the fuel one says empty.
“BUCK!” you yell before looking at the now free and angry Sombra.
“Eh heh…” you chuckle nervously. “You know it was all just a joke right?”
“GGGGGRRRRAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!” he roars at you.
“EEEEKKKK!!!” you respond as you book it out of there, putting the now empty ghost catcher into your inventory.
Ghost Catcher Added to Inventory
Before a misty tendril wraps itself around your throat. He then begins to slam you over and over again into the ground before tossing you into a building, where your vision goes wonky again.
the ghost busters arrive to save the day before being eaten by a giant marshmallow from nowhere and then exploding into white tasty gooeyness everywhere
But then magnificently, four stallions in brown uniforms and power packs stand protectively in front of you, as the catchiest tune in the world begins to play.
“Don’t worry Bugze, we ain’t afraid of no ghost,” they say before pointing their weapons at King Zimbabwe, causing him to roar in pain.
“Noooo, hoisted by my own ghostyness!” he wails.
Unfortunately, before they capture him, a large marshmallow stallion comes out of nowhere and eats the four heroes whole, before saying.
“Sorry fellas, but you’re being remade now, gotta make room for the hip new versions.”
“Why would you do that? They don’t need to be remade!” you cry.
“Well Applewood says they do…also, they’re all going to be Mares now.”
“What for?” you yell.
“For reasons,” the marshmallow giant says before laughing manically.
“NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!” you scream, and in doing so, you wake yourself up.
Of course it was just a dream, the Ghostbusters aren’t real, and they are certainly not getting remade into a female only cast for absolutely no reason right…right?
“No what? Puny worm? No don’t hurt you again?” the dark mocks after hearing your shout.
Angry at his taunting and the horrible nightmare you just had, you have the perfect response to him.
Kersey’s Comment
GreyRebl’s Comment
FUS RO DAH! You shout, nailing the mist right in the face and sending it crashing into a building, with you following after.
You see Penumbra’s face light up with confusion.
"Dovahkin? Impossible! I wiped them out when I tricked them into doing full out war with the dragon protectors of the Cyrstal Empire!" His eyes narrow. "But I don't remember a dragon shout to be so weak. No... You are but a fake."
"Uh," you hesitate, taken aback by the incredibly rich and deep voice has. You just now realize it! But then again, you don't pay attention when it's a rush for the fate of the universe. "Wait, seriously? I thought it was about average."
The Smokey King ignores that comment. "No matter. If anything, I'm doing the originals a favor by wiping out this dishonor of a Dragonborn. Your dragon voice is so...buggy."
"Hey! Apologize to Luna's Canterlot Capslocks and everyling who uses it!" For a moment you forget that you are literally the only one in existence who does.
However, your rant only stops there as he lasers out an arc of dark crystals. You narrowly dodge over the crystals, only for the crystals to burst in shards. You flinch, and it is enough to hit you to the ground. As you struggle to get yourself up, more dark crystals surround you like a circular cage. A roof forms above you, which keeps you from parkouring out of it. Suddenly, you are like a monkey in a cage, ferociously trying to escape.
"Fus Ro Dah!" The cage cracks, but it isn't enough to break it as it regenerates faster than you can destroy. Even Worse, the crystal bars start to expand close every opening.
"Wha? Oh, come on! Fus Ro Dah!" you try again. Same result.
King Limbo cackles at your plight. "I've faced against dragon shouts before, all that millennia ago. With a dragon shout as weak as yours, you’re nothing but cannon fodder in comparison to the true users!"
You try and try again out of desperation, completely abandoning your dragon shout and instead using your broomstick, causing you to bounce backwards against the cage each time.
"Buck! Buck! Buck— Argh!" The stress and abuse becomes too much and you reopen your wound. You keel over as you shout in pain and frustration,
"I just got this fixed an hour ago!" You resort to the power glove, even still, you couldn't break out, and the noise from repetition didn't mercifully silence Ghost King’s goading.
"Hm. So this is what the new 'modern' Dovahkin has to offer? Pathetic. Only a real live dragon would have a chance against me at this rate. Hah! Even then, that would be absurd. Dragons have degraded after so many centuries!"
At that, your eyes widen. As the crystal cage finally encloses every opening and blocks every bit of light, you think,
Only a real dragon? Spike’s a real dragon. Now if only he could somehow help me right now, but I don’t know how he could when…
Suddenly the ghost looks up in alarm.
“The Crystal Heart?! Impossible! Sight Beyond Sight!” he cries as you see his eyes take on a telescopic look.
“Is that a bucking dragon whelp?!” he cries.
“Heh, thanks Spike…” you mutter.
“No matter, I’ll just,” he begins, but is cut off when
TheRutherFord’s Comment
Another flickering Bubble Shield forms a foot in front of your cage, slicing off the Dictator’s horn.
“AAAAAHHHHH!!!” the smoke monster cries backing away from the bubble.
Your cage disappears because of this, but all you can do is hold your horn in sympathy.
“Oh yeesh! Why the horn?” you gag.
You start to remember more of your repressed memories of your younger life when the other young, sadistic changelings tried cutting off your horn all while chanting
"Just The Tip!"
“No make the pain stop! I can't stand it!” you cry, holding your horn in phantom pain, and your chest in real pain.
Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity, all bruised hear you yell and see you writhing on the ground as you continue to shout out in front of the bubble where Sombra floats, glaring at you.
“Hey there you are. Nice going dude, you’ve pushed Sombra to the edge of the city and…” Rainbow begins, but you don’t hear her.
“No more! How much more of the tip will you take before it is completely gone! I still need my horn for tasks. Please stop!”
“Um...Hey are you ok? No one is cutting off your horn. And is it really that bad? Rarity gets her horn filed all the time” pries Rainbow.
“Rainbow Dash! How can you be so insensitive? A horn is a very sensitive part of a unicorn's body. Yes I get my horn filed, but that is similar to you preening your wings. While a horn will grow back, to have it cut is a very painful experience. He was obviously traumatized as a foal if his outburst are anything to go by. Poor dear. It would be along the same line as somepony ripping all of your feathers out. The main difference would be that he could bleed out from that” lectures Rarity.
“ Yikes! Sorry dude I had no idea. Although it looks like Sombra didn't manage to get through.
“Just the tip,” you whisper.
“What?” she asks.
You point towards the piece of Sombra's horn and speak loud enough for the others to hear.
“Just the tip.”
They look over to see the tip of Sombra's horn on the ground just inside of the barrier.
“Wow talk about cutting it close right girls?”
You proceed to assume the fetal position while whimpering.
“Well Sombra is out of the way for now, let's take El Hunko to the Medical Tent until he can calm down. We all should regroup with Applejack and Fluttershy there. Pinkie darling, can you carry him there please?”
“Oki Doki Loki,” she smiles cheerfully as she picks you up.
“Come on then grumpy pants, let’s get you a medpack and some juice.
You are then placed on the bounding mare as you four get away from the angry spirit since the bubble is still flickering.
You look up from her back and see the Smoke Monster regrow a new horn. Suddenly, you gain a massive headache, as your vision blackens and all you see are two green eyes.
“You cannot hide. I see you…” his demonic whisper says.
You fight your vision back to the real world and see the barrier flickering out again.
“RUN!”
The girls all look behind you and see the barrier fall, as the giant mass of smoke comes barreling through at high speeds.
“AAAAAHHHH!!!” you all shout, as you run to the palace.
“What do we do?! What do we do?!” shouts Rainbow.
“We gotta hope that Twilight has found the heart!” says Rarity.
“The heart…The Heart!” you cry from Pinkie’s back. “Spike’s found it!”
“Spike did? Huh, guess Twilight failed then,” says Pinkie.
“Well double time it then!” shouts Rainbow.
After a bit of running the four of you end up under the Crystal Palace, with the majority of the population, and regroup with Fluttershy, Applejack and Flash.
You slide off of Pinkie and clutch your chest.
“Where the buck is Twilight and Spike?!” you cry out, as the Smoke gets closer and closer.
“I don’t know!” shouts Flash, as he tries to sheppard the Crystal Ponies back.
The rest of the girls run off to hold the Tyrant back, but your chest hurts too much at the moment.
You look to the coming storm and see his eyes are trained up on top of the Crystal Palace. Following his line of site you look up…
Kersey’s Comment
…just in time to see Spike fall from the top.
“SPIKEY WIKEY!” screams Rarity from in front of the monster before being blasted back.
“SPIKE!” screams Nightshade from behind you.
“OH BUCK OH BUCK!” you cry as he falls, and in that instant, you notice near the top, Shining Armor picking up Cadance, who was too weak to even walk before and toss her over the edge.
“WHAT THE BUCK ARMOR?!” you cry as now two friends plummet to their death.
You whip your glove above you and cry out,
“WOULD YOU KINDLY STOP FALLING!” as you send out your Telekenisis, catching both the dragon and the alicorn in midair.
“What are you doing?!” shouts an alarmed Cadance.
“Saving you from your Psycho Husband, that’s what!” you cry.
“No, NO!” cries out Spike.
“Hey hey, it’s alright, I’ve got you little guy, I’ve got…”
“THE HEART!” he cries out while pointing behind you.
You hear a dark chuckle from behind, and you turn around.
You see the Smoke Monster compress into a solid being, becoming the Unicorn you saw in the other world, as he holds the Crystal Heart in his magic.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” he triumphantly laughs. “Long Live the King,” he smirks at you.
With everyone glaring at you, and the laughing Dictator you squeak out in a terrified voice,
“I’ve done bucked up…”
WHAT DO?
Yes Bugze, you did indeed Buck Up. Now Fix it!
What's up Hive Mind? Brown Dog here. DWC and I want to apologize for the delay, but as we all know, life gets in the way sometimes. We'll try to get back on schedule though.
Anyway, we got another fight on our hands people, so let's take down this Dictator!
Same Rules as Before
1. No Nightmare Cloak, Selena's in Coma and it could kill her.
2. No Outing El Hunko disguise
3. Don't end it just yet, let's make this an epic fight!
We'll see you on the Battlefield
Anyway, in response to last chapter's question,
I actually found the Crystal Empire episodes to be fairly OK. I mean, it's not as good as the Discord or Nightmare Moon season Openers, but they're alright. Many of the complaints and compliments about them I had as well, and it just comes somewhere in the middle for me, but I understand that some love it, and some don't.
Today's Question is
"Who's in school right now, and who isn't?"
Are you still in the horrible dregs of Education? Or are you in the horrible dregs of real life? Let us know 
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I graduated from high school last year.
I'm a sophomore right now, and boy does it suck! I've not got nearly as much time for writing and other stuff as I wish I had.
You see a mare at a news camera and two stallions that look identical except one has a cutie mark of a news microphone and the other has a cell phone as a cutie mark
POV Shift, Slate Sanchez's Phone
"Beep, Good Evening. Slate Sanchez's Phone here reporting from the Crystal Empire. Slate and the rest of the Global News team don't have ET&T, which means no bars out here on the middle of nowhere. So we didn't get that call about the new danger zone — which is now here, instead of way over there. I'm Slate Sanchez, and we're about to be The News!"
POV Shift you
You don't notice the news crew behind you, so when King Sombrero fires a fear spell at you, you dodge and the spell hits the news crew.
I am still in school, doing my best to impress chemistry teachers and all those. 'cuz you know, good grades are important and all that stuff.
I already managed to don't need to go school anymore.
---------------
As King Sombra begin to laugh his horn begin to glow and music begin to sound coming from somewhere.
"The King is back! And with the crystal Heart now back, no one is going to defeat me" Say King Sombra with a sinister smile as all can see the crystal heart begin to emit a dark glow
After that he look at everyone
"Now! Kneel to me! Kneel to your King!" Say Sombra and as the crystal ponies kneel scared in front of him, the main six, Cadence, Shining and Spike don't kneel
"We are never going to kneel to you! You are a false King! Leave the crystal empire now!" Shout Twilight
"Dude, we have you outnumbered, between Cadence, Twilight, her brother and El Hunko is going to be easy to defeat you!" Say Rainbow Dash
"If you are not going to kneel, you will be punished!" Say Sombra as his horn glow and channel a beam to the crystal heart that send beams to the heroes except you.
"No... Please, Princess I will be good, don't reject me" Mutter Twilight
"No! I'm not a turtle! Please Spitfire give me another chance! I'm not the slowest pony in Equestria!" Say RD
...
Bugzee look at them, surprised that he was not affected.
"Uhhh... Why is that I'm not in a nightmare?" Ask Bugzee
"You? Why must I put you in a nightmare? no... El Hunko, right? It's thank to you that the crystal empire is again under my hoof, no... even after what you did I'm going to give a position working with me, you can be one of my generals. Work with me, El Hunko, together we can defeat those stupid princess!" Say Sombra
Bugzee look at Sombra and begin to think the offer, it's not a bad offer after all it was thanks to Celestia that he was wanted dead or alive, but before he could agree, Bugzee can see the sad and scared faces of the main six and the others, after that he looked to the crystal ponies and begin to remember his nightmare in front of the door, after that the image of everypony that he meet in Ponyville even the crusaders in the same state as the crystal ponies.
"No" Mutter Bugzee
"What did you say?" Ask King Sombra
"I said..." Mutter Bugzee
"NO!" Shout Bugzee making a shock wave similar to the Fus Roh Dah that hit Sombra
"That was not bad, El Hunko, but is not enough..." Laugh Sombra and then look around.
"Crystal Slaves, take him!" Order Sombra, the crystal ponies look between you and the tyrant too scared to do anything.
"Grrr... If I want to do something I need to do it myself!" Groan Sombra.
------
I was thinking about put a battle of Bugzee versus zombies or dancing skeletons and the song of Thriller but I discarted the idea, I was also thinking of put a battle of Bugzee versus the crystal ponies but that was also put off because then they can't activate the crystal heart. I was also thinking in middle of the battle make Nightshade intercept one terror beam of Sombra and making Bugzee go in rage so that he use some nightmare powers but that is on reserve unless someone want to use it.
I'm in school. Well, not this second, but I'm back at school.
First things first, scream
"WHY AM I SO BAD AT BEING GOOD?!"
Followed by one of the Deadly 6 (probably Rainbow Dash or Applejack) throttling you for your stupidity.
You decide to stall Sombra by invoking the most cliche of villain tropes; EVIL GLOATING!
"So... Now that you have the Macguffin of Ultimate Power, what's next on your evil agenda." you ask.
"Simple, after I crush these interlopers and destory the last of Amore's royal lineage, I will free my family!"
"You dastardl- Wait, free your family!" you (and several other ponies) exclaim in shock,
"Yesssss. For too long the Crystal Ponies have kept my fellow Umbrum trapped under their Empire, but no more!"
"Well... At least your goal is sorta-kinda benevolent like in Star Trot into Darkn-" you start to say.
"Once my army of fellow shadow ponies are free, we will take our place as the masters of this world!"
"I stand corrected." you deadpan.
Use Insect Swarm ("Would you kindly buzz off!") only for Sombra to quickly entrap each bee into a tiny crystal with a wave of his smoky hoof.
The Inventory has quite a bit of stuff in it. Time for cleaning by "throw everything at the smoky tyrant in hopes of something working";
-All Four Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories
-A strange pen from the alternate dimension
-Future telling comic
-Movie reels
Lost from Inventory
You're about to throw another furry object when Nightshade screams,
"DADDY! DON'T THROW MY FUZZY!!!"
You look up to see a terrified Reluctant Wombat in your raised hoof. You give a sheepish "Sorry" before putting him(her?) back.
The Reluctant Wombat later scurries away anyway out of fear of Nightshade (in all seriousness, a pet for Nightshade is something that should be voted on by the Hive Mind, NOT just given).
Sombra knocks you into a building kicking up a cloud of dust. You're about to go back into the fray when you notice that your purple top hat is now split open at the top like a soup can and your El Hunko suit is starting to tear. Deciding that you need to change suits fast, you use the dust cloud as cover to dart to another alleyway and change into your Hooded Offender cloak.
You decide to make an awesome entrance by saying "Would you kindly Mix it up." which activates the "Mix-Up Smash" mode on your Power Glove. You adjust the dials to "Insect Swarm" and "Electro Bolt" before throwing your Power Glove hoof forward and declaring,
"Yo Smokey, Don't you know that smoking KILLS!"
This causes a swarm of Twittermites to come at the tyrant, scathing him off-guard. He attempts to just imprison them in crystals again, but the Twittermites violently electrocute him allowing you to rush in, adjust one of the dials from "Electro Bolt!" to "Incinerate!", point the Power Glove point-blank at his face, and yell,
"Hasta la BYE BYE!"
This fires an electrified ball of fire that explodes in Sombra's face and sends you smashing back through a building and you mutter,
"Not to self: Explosives are NOT a close-quarters weapon..."
The ponies look at you (The Hooded Offender) in shock and Shining demands,
"What are YOU doing here?"
And you reply,
"Just clearing the air-" you say before Sombra hits you with a powerful blast of dark magic that sends you soaring towards the top of the Crystal Palace where your body smashes the cage where Twilight is and frees her.
YOu look up, seeing a large chunk of black crystal come crashing down on you.
"...Buck."
*CRUNCH!*
You feel your chiten crack beneath your disguise.
"HAHAHA! you even make that same crunching noise as I crush you beneath my hoof like a bug!" you hear the smoke pony gloat
LIke a bug...
Like a bug...
like a bug.
You feel dispair, just wishing for it to be over, before you remember, without you, whos going to look after Nightshade?
A faint buzzing starts in the back of your head.
Shes all you have as family.
the buzzing grows louder in your mind.
You remember a motto from you early days: The hive is your family, and the family, your hive.
The buzzing consumes your entire mind, as you become filled with the single minded thought to protect Nightshade.
"Any last words?" The smoke pony asks you, ready to impail your head on a spike of crystal.
"Did you know insects can lift over 20 time their own weight?" Your body protests, but slowly, you push the chunk of crystal off you, and punch the suprised smoke pony in the face hard enough to launch him through a wall, the whole time, consumed by the urge to protect nightshade.
ANT MIGHT ACTIVATED
To answer the question, I'm in both. I work for the US Navy and they currently have sent me to a school for a few months before going to my new command. It's awesome. I get paid to learn new stuff.
Bugze: I've done bucked up.
Mane 6 plus Shining, Cadence, Flash, and Spike: YOU THINK!
Bugze: Well in my defense, who in their right mind would through their wife off of a balcony? That could have killed her!
Cadence: I have wings. I can fly. Shining was just giving me a speed boost.
Bugze: By throwing you like a javelin from the Equestria Games?
Cadence: Yes. Exactly like that.
Bugze: Was everyling else in on this? If so I would have liked to be included. You have no idea how many times actually being let in on a plan would have prevented me from doing something overly stupid.
Sombra: Ahem.
Everyone turns to look at him.
Sombra: I said Long Live the King
Bugze: But the King is dead.
Sombra: What are you talking about? I'm standing right here.
Bugze: You said "Long live the king." The King died about six years ago if my memory is correct.
Sombra: What king would that be?
Bugze: The King of Pop.
Sombra: The King of Pop?
Bugze: Yep. A truly talented singer, dancer, songwriter, and even had a stint as an actor for a time. Sure he turned weird towards the end of his career, and all those disturbing claims made by parents, but you cannot deny he was loved by millions the world over. Of course in my opinion, he pales in comparison to the late King of Rock and Roll.
Sombra: What?
Bugze: The King of Rock and Roll. I can't say his name since his record label magically copyrighted his name, but he paved the way for most of the music you can hear today. He took Rhythm and Blues and put a twist on it and made Rock and Roll. Since then countless musicians have tweaked his style and allowed the music to involve to today's classic rock, heavy metal, ect. I think pop also came about because of the King, meaning the King of Pop would have never existed if not for him.
While Bugze has been giving Sombra a lesson in musical royalty, the now full Mane 6, Cadence, Shining Armor, Flash, and the Royal Guard have been doing actual planning on how to get the Crystal Heart from Sombra.
6411076
It could be good that Sombra take the comic and is surprised by reading it and see he is a character of the comic. And then the main six and others read the comic also. Also, I think we need a team name for them, like "Main Six" but to include Cadence, Shining and Spike. Also, because he is from 1000 years in the past, all the things Bugzee throw to him are strange and save them as treasures.
Attack immediately, while the enemy is gloating over his supposed victory, before he has time to compose himself.
It's not called ghost catcher it's caled a POLTERGUST 3000(or 5000)
6411871
I think we need to wait for the next part to make Bugzee finish Sombra.
Meh
and it sucks to be back to school 
the HORROR!!! 
6412806 6411871 You have could The Crystal Heart heal Bugzee instead of destroy
Lord SauronKing Sombra6413072 Or maybe heal Selena... The problem is... Could it work? We need to remember, Selena is Nightmare Moon, a spirit that was born from the hate and jealousy of Luna, banished by the Elements in the end become Bugzee voice of reason and intelligence (Alias Jiminy Cricket) because he was not using his mind too much and thanks to Nightshade and the power of maternity she was reformed, but she is still a spirit that is inside of Bugzee. What could be the effect of the Crystal Heart, something that destroyed almost everything of Sombra in cannon in something like Selena, she is very weak already so it could very well destroy her, transform her or heal her, but is all chance or what DWC want.
6412806
Kichi, you are right. I think I will delete the comment from this chapter and submit it for when we reach the final fight between Bugze and Sombra. I should be able to expand more on my idea by then.
And to expand on what you said in relation to joeyjumper94's idea of the heart, I do not know how much the Crystal Heart would help/hurt Selena but I know that she gained strength in the first two books from negative energy. All the fear emanating from the crystal ponies, the Mane Six, Shining, Cadence, and Spike should do something to help her. Sombra's dark magic should also be positively affecting her in some way. Perhaps Sombra will be able to feel Selena's presence (little as is currently is) in Bugze's mind and may call him out on it. This could cause Fluttershy to realize that El Hunko is actually Bugze, with Pinkie confirming it while keeping her Pinkie Promise.
6414413 Maybe, they could even absorb and clean the crystal heart and restore Selena magic, after that it's only use the heart.
But well, that is mainly a suggestion, Browndog and DWC are the ones that need to say yes or no.
6413107
If Selena is still formed of hatred even after her change of heart, then Sombra blasting him with the corrupted crystal heart could heal her to full power. Or better yet...
"Now that the crystal heart is mine, I will destroy you all!" King Sombrero shouts as he points the tainted heart directly at you. Suddenly, a beam of dark energy lances out and strikes you head on. As the tangible hatred washes over you, you feel an invisible barrier break inside you and, instead of being fried by the blast, you absorb it.
EMOTION ABSORBTION REGAINED
As the dust settles, it reveals three long fox tails sprouting from you. However, unlike the nightmare tails, these ones are an inky black that seems to absorb all light.
SHADOW FORM UNLOCKED, DURATION: 5 MINUTES
"Now you've done it," you chuckle. "No shado- wait, yes shadow kick!" Surprisingly, he manages to block your flurry of kicks. That is, until you turn into a cloud of black smoke and pass through him, resuming your assault on the other side. The surprise attack sends him flying but he gets back up, no worse for wear and angrier than ever.
6414510 And Suddenly I can imagine Bugzee learning Dark Magic... Or fighting hordes of ponies that know dark magic.
But still... why work now and not in the door?
6414447
Well I can put the original post back up here then. And I may have an answer to your question to Lord Sergal. It could work at that time due to it being nothing more than a blast of dark magic, which i feel is just magic generated by negative energy. The door actually affected Bugze because the spell cast on the door was to make any creature who looked through it after using dark magic on it to see their wort fears. That case had a specific set of rules it had to follow. nothing more nothing less. A beam is just focused energy. so it could be possible for Bugze to absorb it.
I'm putting my original idea I had for a fight. If this is not the last chapter before the Shadow King falls for good, then I will resubmit it again next chapter.
As you stand against Sombra you can feel yourself tiring out from trying to keep up with him with out your Nightmare Cloak. You can only think to yourself
Bugze: There is no way that I can win. Without Selena I can't use my Nightmare Cloak so there is no real way to give myself any more power. To bad I don't have anything that can help with that like from those cartoons.
Bugze: Hold on a tic!
You start rummaging through the Inventory where you find:
Bugze: Canned Crystal Spinach! I can eat this and become even stronger!
Twilight: I don't think that will work.
Bugze: Of course it will. It always worked for the Sailor Pony.
You quickly realize that you need a can opener, which you don't have.
Bugze: Nooooo! Defeated by a lack of can openers! Why?
Pinkie: Just use this one!
Pinkie tosses a can opener at your hooves.
Bugze: Thanks Pinkie!
Cadence: Pinkie, where did you get that from.
Pinkie: Oh I always have can openers stashed away. In case of can related emergencies.
Cadence: O...K....?
Meanwhile Bugze has opened the can and lifts it to his mouth, turning his back on the group of ponies so they cant see his face.
Bugze: Well here is to Spinach and all the good it can do. Maybe this will help convince Nightshade to eat her veggies.
*From the Inventory*Nightshade: No it won't Daddy.
Bugze: ...Anyway.
You chug down the canned vegetable which taste better than you thought it would considering that it came from a thousand plus old can.
Bugze: Now for it to kick in.
You wait for about five seconds for it to kick in to no avail.
Bugze: What's going on this always works in the cartoo-
You suddenly feel invigorated and extra strong as you hear this
start playing in your head.
You have unlocked Spinach Power-You gain a temporary increase in Strength, Coordination, Mental Fortitude, and even Luck when you consume Canned Spinach.
You use this new strength to start pummeling Sombra with a mixture of falcon punches (burning green from the Spinach Power), No Shadow Kicks, Shoryukens (also have a green tint to them), and Stalliongrad Blizzards, effectively stopping he Evil monologue he was in the middle of. You manage to knock the Crystal Heart out of his magic grip and it falls to the ground as you launch him through a house and down the street. As you come up to attack again, he lunges out at you with a hoof drawn back. You catch it and hold it back before you start to come off your Spinach trip.
Spinach Power has ended
As the power and energy you used has gone out you are feeling the strain and soreness take their place. Sombra sneers at you as he jerks his hoof out of your grip and punches your face with the other.
Meanwhile while your temporary allies were dumbstruck by the sudden beat down you were delivering to Sombra. Cadence then notices the Crystal Heart and picks it up. This allows her to bring the Heart to the center of the Empire where the Crystal Ponies see she has taken it from Sombra.
Crystal Pony 1: She got the Crystal Heart from Sombra! Look everypony!
As the crystal ponies look. they all start glowing with joy and the Crystal Heart lights up and emits a powerful wave of light magic, (just like in the Season 3 Opener). Bugze can only watch in amazement as all those around him are positively glowing and look to be made out of crystals. Even the non crystal ponies and Spike look like crystals. Nightshade sticks her head out of the Inventory and even she looks like a Crystal Pony.
Nightshade: Wow! look at everybody Daddy. (You are glad that you were able to break her habit of using somepony or everypony. It helped when she talked to that pair of traveling Griffons you met during your nomadic lifestyle.) They all look so pretty.
Bugze: So do you my dear.
Nightshade: *GASP* Really?! But how come you don't look any different? Your face has not changed at all.
Bugze: Maybe it is only a pony thing. Since I am not a full pony I guess it doesn't work for me.
Nightshade: But how can I a crystal pony then? You're my Daddy so how does that work?
Bugze: I guess you have more of Selena's traits than mine. When she wakes up, I will ask her. Sound good?
Nightshade: I guess so. I hope she wakes up soon. I miss seeing her.
Bugze: Me too Nightshade. Me too.
You decide to change the subject to something else before you both break down.
Bugze: So Nightshade. I was wondering if you would be willing to eat some Spinach now.
She hisses at you like a cat and ducks back into the Inventory while hissing out.
Nightshade: Eeeeevil greensssssss!
Bugze: What if they are fresh greens? *Hiss* What if we get some fair food instead?
Nightshade: *Hisss- she stops as her head pops out of the Inventory with a huge smile* Sure Daddy. Let's go!
You and Nightshade join all the cheering crystal ponies in their huge party they are having, getting free food for yourself and Nightshade. (You decide to hide some of it in the Inventory before Nightshade eats it all.
Add 12 ears of crystal corn, a dozen cookies, and a dozen cans of Crystal Spinach (you figured if it helped you against Sombra, why not have some for the future when you are sure you will need it. Plus it did not taste too bad) to the Inventory
During the fight
Sombra holds his hoof over your throat and laughs darkly.
When from out of the Inventory, Nightshade pops out.
"Hey Buckface!" she yells, causing him to look to her where she holds up the scurrying Wombat.
"*Gasp* Oh my goodness, he's so cute and cuddley with his little paws and nose," says Sombra in a Fluttershyesque manner, taking his hoof off of you..
"Catch this!" she then throws the wombat into Sombra's face.
"Oh he's coming right at my...Gyagh!" he cries as the Wombat starts clawing and scratching his face up harshly, allowing you to back up.
"Why fuzzy wuzzy?! Why?!" he cries, before grabbing the Wombat and throwing him away, with tears in his eyes.
"Hey, don't be sad, take this," you say as you give Sombra one end of the slinky.
"My Slinky!" he cries out in happiness, "I would watch this thing go down my stairs for hours and hours and..." he rambles while you stretch the slinky to it's limit.
"Hey Moron!" you yell, causing him to look up. "Everyone loves a Slinky!" you say, letting go of the taught spring, launching your end straight back towards Sombra and gouging his eye out.
"GGGGYYYYAAAAGGGHHHH!!!! Why do the things I love hurt so much?!" he yells.
Eventually, you come across Shining, still without his magic, and pick him up.
"H-hey, what the buck are you..."
"Returning the favor!" you say as you launch him like a torpedo at Sombra.
The former Dictator is so stunned and confused by this, he lets his gaurd down, and Shining's horn is able to stab Sombra in the chest right in the Crystal Heart, loosening it from his control.
While he shrieks in pain, Shining wobbles back with a massive headache while Cadance slaps you upside the head.
The bad guy is dead Quick Bugzy thing of a one liner you though
"Rest In Piece!" you said.
Which every pony approved of your one liner. Much better than your one liners from before.