Opening Theme:
So here you are, having the living daylights squeezed out of you by the pegasus who is simultaneously one of your best friends, and worst enemies. Though even when you were enemies, you don't think he's ever hurt you as he is now. Your ribs feel like they're going to crack.
Kichi's Comment
You try as hard as you can to get free of him, but his grip is like iron. Frustrated, you turn your head to the departing train as it disappears into the distance.
Your ears wilt as you realize that that was the only train back to Appleloosa for a good long while. Thanks to Twilight's meddling, you are in fact not leaving anytime soon.
Crafty witch.
"Nooo. I was supposed to be on that train!!!" you "shout" in a low voice as you can't get air from the hug.
"Baker! I thought you were dead! I knew a month ago you weren't, but I couldn't tell anypony! It's so good to see you again!" he joyously cheers.
"Come back train...come back..." you weakly mutter as you reach out a hoof to the train, right before it disappears completely.
And like that...It's gone, you think in sadness.
Kill Him! Maim Him! Destroy the waifu stealer!
Ugh! Why can't we drug these voices to high heaven? Selena moans.
A bit peeved that your way home was blocked, AGAIN. A part of you considers listening to the voices, but you shake off that thought. Even if it did screw up your plans, this guy is a bro. And you will be damned if you break the bro code.
BrownDog's Comment
After surviving a lot of hugs, and a tear stained panama hat, you finally get Flash under control. Seeing as how you’re still getting amused stares from the town, you take him away from prying eyes into an alley way.
“Flash buddy, it’s great to see you and all, but for crying out loud, calm down.”
“A-a-alright bro. I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect to see you so soon. Your bounty hunter brother told me you were in Neighsa.”
“Ah, so you met my brother eh?” you say sounding surprised.
“Heck ya I did. We were both at ground zero for the Beigh v. Shamalamadingdong fight, taking on some Crimson Knights. Why didn’t you ever tell me you had a brother?”
“It never came up before,” you say.
“How? I told you all about my little brother and then I asked you if you had any siblings way back when.”
“Well…the truth is, he and I were kind of strained, but we’ve made up a bit. He invited me and Nightshade to come settle down with him. He said he had a lot of bits, and would make sure nopony would try to harm us.”
“Oh, right. Well he was a pretty cool guy, and it meant the world to me when he told me about you not being dead. The minute I found that burnt piece of scarf…I felt terrible man.”
He then pulls out from his saddle bags the burnt scrap of scarf he found that day.
“I kind of held onto this, at first to remember you by, but then after I met your brother, I knew I had to give you at least something back. I know how much you loved this thing.”
“Yeah…I did,” you say as you accept the burnt scrap of what was once your amazing and awesome scarf.
“Thank you Flash, and I gotta say, it really is good to see you too.”
“Yeah, I know it is,” he says with a smirk. “Keep that in mind while I do this,” he says.
“When you do wha- *PUNCH* OW!” you cry out as he sucker punches you right in the mouth.
“What the buck Flash?”
“That’s for making me, all those poor stalkers, and most of this town sad for making them think you were dead!” he chides.
“Oh for Pete’s Sake! I already went through this like two weeks ago. I got enough punches and smacks for my mistake,” you whine.
He then picks you up from the ground.
“Yeah, I figured, but I had to get my two bits in,” he smiles and you roll your eyes.
“Anyway, now that I’m here, let’s go get Twilight and the girls, and we can hang out and catch up. I took a couple of days off of work to come here,” he beams.
“Well, bad news there Flashy, Twilight and them went off to the Crystal Empire literal minutes before you arrived.
His eyes widen at that.
“Seriously?” he asks.
“Eyup. They went to kiss some Games Committee agent’s butt in order for the Equestria Games to be hosted there.”
His ear wilts at that.
“Oh. Well she didn’t say anything about that in her letter,” he says as he pulls it out. “I kind of thought, well, you know, that we’d all be able to hang out…” he says a bit sadly.
Smirking, you say,
“Oh, what’s this? Are you upset a mare ditched you to hang out with her friends?”
He looks up startled at that.
“What?!”
“Oh I get it, she’s…adorkable I guess you could say,” you tease.
“I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says with shifty eyes and a blush.
“No no, to each his own. Although I think it’s kind of dangerous, ya know, since she is your boss’s little sister,”
“Shut up! I wasn’t thinking anything like that I swear,” he says with eyes darting in fear as his cheeks turn redder.
“Not to mention she’s absolutely insane on some days, but if you like the librarian type who am I to-*MMPH!*” he suddenly puts his hoof in your mouth and whispers.
“Shut up! You never know when THEY might be listening!”
As soon as he says that, you hear from out on the street.
“Oh just shut up already! I’ll gladly kill the waifu thief, I think he’s after my future husband!...How about instead of shouting you actually give directions?!”
Both of you look in fear down the alley way.
“That was the voices!”
“That was Aloe!”
You and him then look at each other before you both nod, and decide to flee the area.
A Brave Flight Later
After getting a good distance away, you tell Flash that Twilight and the gals should be back later tonight (which puts him at ease) and that until then you two can catch up. If your escape plans are going to be ruined, you might as well not waste a Bro-Day.
You let him know about how he’s probably only down here thanks to Twilight’s scheming, and how you won’t be here forever. She’s just dead set on you meeting the princesses.
He lets you know about how he wishes your brother would accept the reward himself.
“Yeah, not only do you get a medal, but a job. That Aqua lady, she got inducted into a program that’s even more mysterious than mine. Kind of a shame though, I’d hoped to get to work with her again. She was cool."
You smile at that because Aqua’s doing alright in the world, and you keep chatting.
He doesn’t explain what he works on, Top Secret and all that biz, but he goes on to explain how he’s making his former boss’s life a living hell now that he’s his subordinate. In fact, now that Flash took some time off, he’s confined to a closet of a room until Flash gets back.
Ugh, can we stop chatting with this thief! I would prefer your insane unwanted stalkers to this sickenly sweet “bromance” as you call it.
Quiet you! My Bug’s Bromantic partner is none of your concern!
Rolling your eyes you think, Wow, thanks Selly. Way to defend me.
I have. And tell me I’m not lying? If you were, as they say, pitching for the other team, I’d say this Pegasus would be receiving flowers and chocolates from you, she teases.
THAT image makes you shake your head.
Nope! Nope! NOPE!!! Do Not Want!
“You okay Baker?” he asks as you shake your head wildly.
“I’m fine! Just don’t stand so close to me!” you tell him as you push him away trot up ahead causing him to shrug.
Wanting a distraction, any distraction, you come across Rainbow Dash’s mailbox and check it for her like she wanted. Inside is a letter with the Wonderbolts insignia.
“Oh hey, look at that. She actually got a letter from them,” you say as you open the envelope.
“Whoah dude wait! It’s illegal to open someone else's- “
You drown him out as you read the letter.
Seems Rainbow has in fact been accepted into the Wonderbolts Academy. You smile at this since it means less chances of her stalking you but then you read the bottom of the page and you Squee a little.
“What was that noise?” Flash asks.
“This letter is signed by Spitfire herself!” you say as you caress her name at the bottom of the letter.
“OH…and…?”
"What do you mean and? She's the coolest, most hottest member of the Wonderbolts. Plus she's the captain!" you chide.
"Oh. I don't know, I always felt like Fleetfoot was the more attractive one," he admits.
"Well, you're just wrong is all," you dismiss causing him to ruffle his feathers.
Again you ignore him and stare at the elegant signature of one of your celebrity crushes.
OK, I know Sapphire Shores let me down in the idol department, but hopefully not you, you fiery speed demon you...
You get so engrossed in you idolization you bring the letter up to your face and take a big sniff of the hoof signature at the bottom. It has the faint scent of cinnamon and smoke.
“OK, what the buck are you doing now?” Flash asks a bit creeped out, causing you to come to your senses.
“NOTHING! What do you mean? I wasn’t doing anything weird!” you yell as you stuff the letter back in the envelope and shove it back into the mailbox.
You give him a wide eyed look, and he still stares at you a bit creeped out.
“Let us never speak of this again,” you blurt.
“Agreed.”
Oh for the gods’ sake. What in the actual Tartarus is the point of any of this! Sombra growls.
You sigh at this outburst. You haven’t really drank too much over the last week. Constant booze consumption without drunkenness still has it's drawbacks as you found out a few days ago.
Luckily though, Fluttershy has come through.
“Hey Flash, you mind taking a detour? I need to see a bear about a tranq.”
“Umm…OK?”
As the two of you begin to walk towards Fluttershy's home, you can't help but feel a flashback coming to explain how you asked Fluttershy about them in the first place...
FLASHBACK TIME!
Kersey's Comment
A few days after the Apple Family Reunion, you were treated to a lovely breakfast courtesy of your (more than likely) grandmother. Some news was thrown around, like the School House Derby race coming up soon, and how Babs Seed and her friends and family worked on her bullying issues back in Manehattan. Applebloom was getting ready for school, while Nightshade was getting ready for more magic lessons with Twilight. Why wasn't she in school? Because you're NOT staying permanently in Ponyville that's why! And whatever Red's ex-wife can throw out, Crazlight can spit out much more effectively.
Anyway, you were having breakfast one day when...
"Uh... did you change the recipe?" you ask hesitantly to Granny Smith, the piece of normally sweet apple bread feeling a bit underwhelming in your mouth.
"Course not!" Granny Smith replies, "I've been making my breakfast foods the same way since my grand-pappy made them as a youngin! Ya don't mess with the family recipe."
"Really? Cause this tastes... different. Like somehow... less than normal," you say as you chew the food.
"Well you have been hitting the hard cider pretty frequent-like. The cider sweetness is probably drowning it out." Big Mac points out.
"Ya Baker, you have been putting away cider like a squirrel puts away nuts. Heck, you're chugging a bottle right now!" she points out causing you stop and put the bottle down with a nervous chuckle.
She shakes her head at this, "Sugar cube, while it's pretty amazing that you've been drinking nonstop and you're still more sober than a Salt Lick City prohibitionist with a liver disorder, the fact is we think you should cut back." Applejack comments.
"Aw man, really?" you mutter.
"Yes young un. Ain't no good for a stallion to spend his days in a bottle. You'll end up ruining yer tastebuds for good," Granny points out.
"... *ding* Oh buck!" you exclaim in horror as you realize if that's the case, you won't be able to taste this wonderful and glorious food.
"Language!" Red scolds.
"Sorry," you say sheepishly as you slide the bottle over to him.
So, not wanting to permanently destroy your taste buds, you decide that it's high time to head over to Fluttershy's to get some animal tranquilizers.
When you head over after breakfast, you don't hear Applejack say this to her family.
"Thank goodness he bought that. He's practically gone through all our private winter stores."
Granny Smith chuckles at this, "Heh, stallions that take to the bottle all tend to believe what the more level headed tell them. Now let's put away this bland bread and have some real Apple Food."
But alas, you didn't hear that exchange, you idiot.
Along the way to the the cottage, Selena speaks up.
I know that we will need the sedatives now that you've decided to stop drinking, but we have at least three days. Is now REALLY the best time to visit that useless strumpet?
One, Fluttershy is NOT a useless strumpet, she was just misguided is all, and I don't think she hates you anymore
I'll believe that when I see it, she grumbles.
Two, MY ABILITY TO TASTE ALL THOSE DELICIOUS APPLE RECIPES ARE IN DANGER!!! And Three, well, there may not be a guarantee that she even has tranqs. Better to ask now while smokey is still boozed up.
When arriving at Fluttershy's, there was of course an awkward silence between you. It'd been about a week and a half since the party and since Selena verbally beat her down, and you hadn't really spoken since due to Reunion prep and Bully drama.
The both of you are silent for awhile until you're about to slap yourself out of it, as is your protocol, when Fluttershy stops your hoof saying,
"Wait! Sorry, you don't have to slap yourself out of an awkward silence for me."
"Oh thank goodness for that, I know it's a habit but it does still sting when I do."
"Right...Well...hello Hoody and..." she looks away from your eyes and adds, "You..."
"Hey Fluttershy...and she says Hi too."
I most certainly did not!
She invites you inside, and you both make small talk, mostly about what's new. Nothing much with her, except for turning down Lyra and Octavia's invitation for reforming the Horde.
She asks how have you been, and you tell her about how you've been busy with the Apple Reunion, and how crazy that was with the bats and everything.
"Aw, but fruit bats are so adora-"
"NO! Do not finish that sentence! In fact, let us never speak of those night terrors again," you command, confusing her.
You also briefly touch on the Nightshade bully issue, and how you straightened the whole thing out. She says she understands and sympathizes, since she was on both sides of that problem. This confuses you.
"You were a bully?"
"Yeah...briefly. It was after Iron Will's seminar, and I took being assertive a little too far. I'm not proud of what I did, especially because I know how it felt to be a victim. Those guys back at flight camp never left Rainbow and I alone. But I'm glad things worked out for Nightshade and the others."
Really? Who the heck picks on the shy girl? Stupid jerks. Maybe I could ask Rainbow who they were then kidnap them, bring them here, and then let her assertive side maim them for vengeance and...
Isn't that the same kind of thinking that caused our daughter to act like a petty thug not too long ago? Selena points out.
Uhhhhhh...Right. Jeeze my mind is twisted. Why did I come here again?!
To acquire sedatives for our drunken captive.
*hic* I could still defeat all of you if you just had the courtesy to die and release *ZAP* Owwww...
What was that? you ask.
*chuckle* Nothing, just therapeutic shocking of a moron. But yes, get those sedatives from this little tart.
OI! Quit with the name calling. She's not a tart!
You then talk with Fluttershy more. You even apologize again about how harsh Selena spoke to her, she nods and stays quiet for a bit before responding.
"It's alright, I was harsh myself. I mean, I did speak about killing her to her face..." She then looks you square in the eye.
"Look, you...I was hoping that maybe we could...start anew. Have a clean start?" she asks with a bit of apprehension.
Your mouth doesn't move, nor do your eyes glow. You don't hear a response aside from an intake of breath.
Fluttershy hesitantly and slowly looks away,
"I-if you want that is..."
Aren't you going to say anything?
No. I said I was done with her. If she proves genuine with her actions, then perhaps I will grace her with my voice. Until then, nay. YOU speak with her all you want. she huffs.
"She's uh...still kind of sore on the subject," you say to Fluttershy. "Look, that night was tense, we all said things that were pretty harsh, and we've all apologized more or less. I'm sure all three of us can move on from this eventually," you say being the middle man.
Fluttershy nods, and you add,
"Don't forget Fluttershy, you're still one of my most trusted and bestest friends. Even if I have other close friends that you're on rocky ground with, okay?"
You then give her a hug and she visibly becomes less tense with a sigh.
Aw, see? We're all friends here. And wow it's been a long time, I forgot how good she feels against- NO! BAD BUG! you think pushing yourself away from her quickly.
Some things never change... Selena rolls her eyes.
After that awkwardness you ask Fluttershy for heavy duty animal tranquilizers, preferably some for larger creatures. When asked why, you tell her it's for temperament issues, while pointing at your head. She then says she'll happily get some in for you because she thinks they'll be for Selena. You're about to correct her when said mare chimes in;
Let her carry on with that delusion. It'll be easier in the long term if she doesn't know about the extra guest in your head.
Right...Plus she's only kind of accepting of you. I don't even want to know what can of worms ol Shambala will open.
FLASHBACK IS NOW OVER
You knock three times on Fluttershy's cottage, and Harry the bear opens it.
"IS THAT A FREAKING BEAR!!!" Flash yells in fright, hovering off the ground.
"Eyup. So Harry, you got the goods?"
The bear looks to Flash behind you and points a claw at him before giving you a questioning growl.
"Yeah he's fuzz, but don't worry. He's cool."
The bear then nods and hands you a paper bag.
"Thanks Harry. See ya around."
The bear the waves happily at you and closes the door.
What a nice young bear. I'm glad you didn't actually get your neck snapped by Fluttershy.
You then open the bag...and it's not what you were expecting. When you asked for tranqs, you thought you'd be getting more needles or something. Instead, you have a bottle of pills with a picture of an elephant on it.
"Sooo, what's all this about then?" Flash asks.
"Oh, not much. I just need some medicine...apparently the kind that can take out a full grown elephant, and until Twilight officially allows me to come back from the dead, I can't buy them," you say as you open up the bottle and take out one of the bouncy ball sized pills.
"Oh, no worries man. I know the feeling," he says pulling out his own bottle of prescription pills.
Both being good bros, you don't ask WHY the two of you need pills.
"Well, bottoms up!" you toast him as you both down your pills, chewing them like the rugged stallions you are...and wishing you each had some water because they taste terrible.
Bottle of Elephant Tranqs Added to Inventory
So, how is this batch of-
All the ducks are swimming in the water, Faldaraldaralda, Faldaraldaralda...
Wow, talk about immediate results.
Indeed.
As the former king sings, you look to Flash and say.
"Soo, you wanna get lunch or something?"
"Yeah. Sounds good man. Then let's hit up a bowling alley or something. I haven't had a day off in forever."
Smiling, you walk with your buddy back into town. As you do, you can't help but wonder something.
I wonder where Nightshade wandered off too earlier. She said something about helping...pets or something like that. I'm sure she's fine. She better not be alone with a guy or I swe-
POV CHANGE: Nightshade
You are walking with your pet robot fox Mangle towards the Golden Oaks Library as your dad is getting hugged by Mr. Sentry.
"Told ya so Dad," you chuckle. "Dang Ms. Twilight can be clever...when she's not too busy being nuts that is. Although she is teaching me some cool stuff. That reconfiguration spell is kind of neat."
Anyway, now that your dad's hopes of leaving have been dashed for at least another two weeks, you decide to check up on Spike.
For you see, you and Spike have set up a gem making scheme by offering to take care of the Deadly Six's pets while they're gone. Half the gems will go to Spike to make a cake (which you wouldn't mind having a bite of), the other half towards you...so that you can pay off your grounding. You figure that a few gems will allow you to buy something nice and meaningful to give to Diamond and Silver as an apology. If it goes well, things might not be so tense, and your grounding time might go down. Win Win for everyling.
You were supposed to be there earlier, but your Dad's schemes at the train station kept you longer than you thought.
"I'm sure Spike's got this handled," you say to Mangle. "I doubt those cute little guys are that much of a hassle."
With that said you open the door to the library...and into a scene of complete chaos.
"SPIKE!" you cry out in alarm.
Spike is unconscious on the ground with the Deadly Six's pets running wild all over the library. Rarity's cat is shredding the curtains, Applejack's dog is chasing Fluttershy's bunny around, Pinkie's gator is somehow walking on the ceiling, and Twilight's owl is frantically trying (and failing) to keep things in order.
Closing the door behind you and running to the dragon's side you say,
"Spike! What the buck happened?! Why are you knocked out on the- *BONK* oooohhhhh," you wobble woozily as Rainbow's flying tortoise smacks you in the head.
Laying on the floor next to knocked out dragon and rubbing your head where you got smacked, you and Mangle can only stare at the pet's shenanigans as you think,
OK, NOW WHAT THE BUCK DO I DO!?
Outro:
But it isn't, because everything after that's still in flashback italics.
7850652
Nightshade inspire a great mouth of air and with the power of the Royal Canterlot Voice, she shout
"STOOOP!" Shout Nightshade
The treebrary shake a little and the animals stop moving looking to Nightshade
"General Mangle, take care of them" Say Nightshade to her robot pet as it begin to move making a military salute.
Soon all the pets stay in front of Mangle, as it begin to walk looking at them and they stay like soldiers. Meanwhile Nightshade try to wake Spike.
"Spike? Spike, are you okay?" Ask Nightshade looking to the little dragon that is knocked out and don't wake up.
As Nightshade look at him, suddenly the image of the prince kissing the sleeping Princess come to her head.
"Could I...?" Nightshade look to Spike.
Meanwhile with Bugzee
"My dad senses are ringing... Nightshade is thinking of doing something and I need to stop her!" Shout Bugzee suddenly
Bugzee get ready to move but suddenly he find himself petrified as his body don't answer.
"You will not do such thing... You will stay quiet and stay here" Say Selena from inside her head.
"What? We as her parents need to stop it before it go too far, we need to be in those strange situations and surprise her, and above all, I'm not going to let that young dragon to do anything with Nightshade" Say Bugzee as one of his hoof begin to move slowly, fighting Selena for the control.
Back with Nightshade
Nightshade was looking to the face of Spike, when suddenly she heared him mumble something.
"Is he maybe dreaming something?" Asked Nightshade curiously
Nightshade got her face in front of Spike and tried to hear what he did say
"Ummm... Rarity... More... Please..." Say Spike in very low voice
"That damn whore with too much make up...." Groaned Nightshade as she begin to feel anger and jeaolusy of Spike dreaming about Rarity
"Spike! It's me Nightshade... Wake up!" Say Nightshade as she shaked Spike to try to wake him up
"Gah!" Spike wake up suddenly hitting Nightshade in the head.
"ouch..." Cry Nightshade
"Nightshade, what are you doing here? What is happening?" Asked Spike looking around surprised
"Ow... Don't worry Spike, everything is okay, you got knocked but Mangle is taking care" Say Nightshade
"Ummm... Nightshade? I think you should look at this" Say Spike pointing behind her
Nightshade turn around just to see Mangle tied to a pyre trying to free himself as Angel Bunny begin to throw gasoline to the pyre, and a banner with "Vive la revolution" is seen behind him.
---------------
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7850470
Do not worry for I have fixed the problem! Thank you for bringing it to my attention in the first place
You and Spike decide to take the pets all outside for a walk, you end up heading to the park.
While the animals and Mangle are (surprisingly) calmly doing their own things in the park. You and Spike sit against a tree and talk while watching them.
"So, Nightshade? I've been thinking... What's your opinion on The Offender after what happened at the Crystal Empire?" He asked you.
Internally you sigh. "Why do you ask?"
"I've just been thinking about all the times when he appeared more often. I went through each time he fought Twilight and the others, but I just don't know how to look at him after that incident."
"Well... I guess when I look at him I see a struggling stallion with bad lady luck." You explain. He stares at you with curiosity so you keep going. "He means well, I know he does, it's just when he gets angry he can't control himself, and that's why he's dangerous... why every pony is starting to hate him..."
"...Do you hate him?"
"I... don't know. I really hate when he gets so angry that he can't control himself, but when he's his normal self I lo- like and care for him like every other pony."
Spike looks out to the field as he says. "There was this one time he acted like a real parent to me. When I snapped and yelled at Twilight."
"Really?" You ask in shock.
"Yeah," He chuckled. "He talked to me and calmed me down, just like a proper adult would. I like that about him, but... but when he goes on a rampage I just can't help but imagine that his heroic figure is gone for good. Like, an erased memory." He shudders a bit. "I don't know if it's like that one power ponies chapter when half of the team couldn't control their powers and almost destroyed the city, or if someone is controlling him or something, but I really hope he fixes it soon."
"Yeah... me too. When I look at Twilight I see her as your big sister. My dad said she looked more like a mother in his eyes."
"You're dad thought I was her pet when he first saw me." Spike frowns but soon chuckles a bit. "He's kinda like The Hooded Offender... when's normal."
Your heart starts to beat a little faster. "Y-you don't say." You nervously laugh to which he doesn't notice.
When first looking over Spike, Angel jumps over to you, and sits on Spikes snout.
“Hey! Get off him! He needs to breathe.”
He doesn’t acknowledge that, rather he keeps giving you a desperate look and pointing to his tail that is done up in curlers.
“Quit shaking your butt and move!” you say as you slap the bunny off of Spike’s face, and into the book shelf. You wince, feeling maybe you hit a bit too hard, but Spike’s safety comes first.
After getting Spike up, he and you, with the help of Mangle are able to get the animals semi under control.
“I am definitely wearing a helmet from now on,” Spike says as he gives a glare to Tank.
“Yeah, say, do you have a spare?”
“Actually I do. I think it’s still in the closet next to Twilight’s skateboard she’s never used.”
You raise an eyebrow at that. You have never, EVER seen Ms. Twilight doing anything close to recreational fun. The only time she starts running around is when she’s going nuts.
“Why the heck does she even have a skateboard?”
“Rainbow Dash. Tried to get Twilight to exercise more. Surprise surprise, it didn’t work,” he deadpans and you chuckle.
After retrieving the helmets, you put them on so that that tortoise does not give you any more lumps.
“Now then, the girls said I had to go take them for a walk eventually to get them to calm down, but I really want to start on my jewel cake first.”
“How can you bake and watch all these little guys at the same time?”
“Well, it’s proving difficult,” he mutters as Gummy licks Opalescence and causes her to hiss at him.
“It’s a good thing I’m here then,” you boast raising your head up. “You can make that delicious cake, and Mangle and I will make sure these guys are obedient and- HEY! Mangle stop that! You’re not supposed to be having fun!” you scold Mangle who stops playing tug of war with Winona, and gives you hurt looking eyes.
“Oh come on Mangle, don’t give me that look,” you plead but she continues to give the puppy dog eyes. You swear, her speaker system is even playing some sad background music.
“Oh Fine! Be that way,” you say looking away from her, and she and Winona continue playing their game while Owlowicious perches on her head.
“Dang troublesome pets, infecting my fox,” you mumble.
“Well, the other ones listen…sometimes. It’s Angel that’s the real problem,” he snarls and points to the bunny who is sits scowling at both of you in the corner, his tail still done up in curlers.
“Really?” you say a bit surprised. As if to emphasize this point, he kicks a lamp off a desk, which breaks it, while giving you both a smug look.
All the other pets glare at him, and you say.
“Hey! That wasn’t very nice!”
He then hops up some bookshelves and sticks his tongue out at both you and Spike.
“See what I mean? A jerk,” Spike sighs.
“Hmmph. I’ll deal with you in a minute Mister!” you threaten up to the bunny who just turns his back on you.
“But yeah, get to baking Master Chef. Cake awaits us!”
“Alright! Thanks Nightshade. Listen, do you mind if I use the rest of your gems in the recipe and I’ll give you the equivalent in bits?” he asks.
“Well, I guess so. Why do you need more though?”
He rolls his eyes and grunts at this, “Because, SomeDRAGON, decided that she’d like some cake too, while doing absolutely NOTHING to help.”
“Honk Honk!” comes a cry from upstairs.
“Yes I’m talking about you!” Spike yells to the ceiling before shaking his head and looking at you.
“So yeah, I need to make a bigger cake so we all can have some.”
“Why don’t you just not give Crackle any if she’s not willing to help?” you point out.
He rolls his eyes again, “Because then she’ll bring up how SHE was the one to fly the girls and I to safety, that the Hooded Offender trusted her soo much, and I’ll have to hear her sob story again about Garble and…Look, it’s much more simpler this way.”
“You can understand her blogs and honks?” you ask surprised.
“Not really. But she does use cue cards and interpretive dance, so the point still gets across,” he says, confusing you even further.
“Well…Alright, as long I get a piece of cake, I’m all good.”
“That actually is something I was thinking of Shade. Can you even eat gems?”
“Huh?”
“Well, I know you love food a lot, but…well, gems are pretty tough, and other ponies don’t eat them…”
“Spike! Come on. It’s ME we’re talking about here,” you say to him cockily as you take a small green gem out of his mixing cup. “I kicked a hydra in the nards, hugged Cerberus into submission, and beat down both King Sombra and The Hooded Offender. I can handle a little ol gem.” You then punctuate this statement with a bite of the gem…which chips off a piece of one of your front teeth.
Your eyes widen in shock as all goes still in the library. Spike cups his claws to his mouth, the pets stare at you and you don't say anything as you just stare straight ahead.
“Ha Ha Snort! Blarg!” Crackle chuckles upstairs at something, which causes to the dam to break.
“AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! My Bucking Tooth!” you yell, which causes all the animals to start rioting again.
“Oh jeeze! Nightshade are you alright!”
“Do I look alright?!” you growl, causing him to take a step back, but then you add, “I’m serious. Do I look alright?” you then open your mouth wider. “How’s it look?”
“Well…I’ve seen worse. You’ve definitely chipped it,” he explains hesitantly. He even holds up one of the bigger gems so you can see your reflection.
“Well, that's just perfect! Now I’m gonna have to get Zecora’s tooth tonic before Daddy finds out and freaks out like he always does!” you grumble.
“Oh jeeze! He won’t let you hang out with me anymore!” Spike panics.
“Ugh…well luckily my dad’s hanging out with Flash Sentry for the day, so we got some time.
“Wait, Flash is here?” Spike asks.
“Oh yeah, I think Twilight called him in to distract my dad from running away.”
“Oh…good thinking…I guess,” he says apprehensively.
“Something wrong?” you ask.
“I don’t know, it’s just that sometimes when we’re all hanging out I’ll catching him looking at Twilight funny, and then screaming voices come out of nowhere telling me to kill him and protect her. It’s kind of creepy.”
“Don’t worry, that’s normal for everpony. But yeah, they’re together right now, so all we have to do is make sure they don’t find out,” you say as you tongue the chipped part of your tooth.
You and Spike then decide you have to take the pets and go find Zecora. But not before you force Spike to prep the cake and put it in the oven, because even if you can’t have cake, doesn’t mean others can’t.
Angel Shenanigans.
After being a jerk to you for awhile, eventually Mangle judo chops him in the back of the head and holds him up to you and Spike while the other animals glare around him.
“Alright Bunny, listen up. I know you’re a turd on the best of days, but we aren’t putting up with any more of your bullspit, got it?”
He just angrily squeeks trying to break out of Mangle’s grasp.
“Really, read the room guy. You’re surrounded on all sides by bigger predators. The only other plant eater is Tank, and he’s not backing you up. Making them mad doesn’t seem to be smart,” Spike adds.
Angel then looks around and sees all the glaring pets and he gulps.
“Now, unless you want to be lunch, I propose you straighten up,” you scold.
He then looks downcast, before pulling a picture of Fluttershy out…from somewhere. He then points at her frantically and sadly.
“She ain’t here bub. We are. She put us in control, so you better listen to us,” you growl.
He then points from the picture, to his tail with the curlers and moans.
“OH! Right! I forgot all about your tail fluffing. I was so focused on the cake,” Spike says.
The Rabbit then nods and you stare at him.
“Really? This was all over your tail?! Why didn’t you say that from the beginning?”
He then motions you hitting him earlier.
“Oh…right. Well you’re still pretty nasty. How about we make a deal. We fluff your tail, and you stop giving us the run around?”
He nods at this.
You then give the go ahead to Mangle who drops him, and not only undoes the curlers, but using her wiry claws, and even some internal heating of some kind to brush it to maximum fluffiness. Angel…is awestruck by how majestic his tail feels, like it hasn't ever felt that good before, and looks up to the robot fox with new awestruck eyes…Eyes that suddenly get hearts in them.
Mangle seems a bit taken aback by this, before suddenly the rabbit hugs her around the waste and keeps snuggling her. She barks in surprise, and tries to get him off her, but his grip is like iron. She then looks up to you in panic and worry.
“Umm…OK. Didn’t expect that,” you say in all honesty.
“Yeah. I mean, I guess he’s not being a jerk…but I don’t know if this is any better,” Spike says a bit creeped out.
Meanwhile, all the other pets seem very VERY amused by Mangle’s predicament. Even Gummy looks like he’s laughing. While Mangle just belts out a sound file of you dad screaming,
“Buck You Lady Luck!”
As for Pet Videos...There are numerous out there. Though this one is both cute and funny. An oldy but a goody.
For the pet video, I am stuck between https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndsaoMFz9J4&list=PL3tRBEVW0hiCetqt8qKWyC--jEY3I96bl&index=1 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MujRLvZ61jE&index=2&list=PL3tRBEVW0hiCetqt8qKWyC--jEY3I96bl
With Bugze and Flash:
Bugze: "So how is everything going with the Crimson Knights? Any chance that they could get away and Nightshade and I will have to go back into hiding?"
Flash: "Absolutely not! The guards are not stupid enough to let them get away or get distracted."
WITH THE KNIGHTS
All the knights are in the prison yard busting rocks as a part of the "Mandatory outside time", when the guards basically pull this scene from Blazing Saddles: (Warning: Racist language) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H2W1lK7P-I
Guard 1: Oh come on where's your spirit? I don't hear no singing? How about a good old Chain-Gang work song?
Knights (Getting angry) Chain-Gang work song?!
Rutherford holds out a claw and starts murmuring to them. They all agree and start singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U2zJOryHKQ
Rutherford: "This is the song that doesn't end. It goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because..."
The rest of the knights jump in: "This is the song that doesn't end!
Guard 1: "Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! What the buck is that spit? I meant a song. A real song. Something like: "Swing low, Sweet Chariot."
Knights (murmuring to each other): "Swing low? Chariot?"
Guard 1: "Don't know that one huh? Well how about "The Camp Town Ladies"?
Rutherford (carefully pronouncing each syllable): "The Camp Town Ladies?"
Rest of the knights: "The Camp Town Ladies?"
Guard 1: "Oh you know, the camp town ladies sing this song do da, do da, the camp town racetrack five miles long, all the do da day."
All the guards (singing and dancing around like idiots): Going to run all night. Going to run all day."
The song continues while the guards sing and dance around and the knights laugh. When a firecracker spell goes off above the guards.
Guard Captain: "What in the wide, wide world of sports is a goin' on here. The crown hired you ponies to guard these varmints, not jump around like a bunch of Las Pegasus show-fillies. Now you all get back to guarding and y'all *pointing to the Knights* get back inside, your outdoors break is over."
All the Crimson Knights start walking back into the prison, none of the guards noticed the freshly dug tunnels underneath the prison cells that the Crimson Knight Timberwolf and Diamond Dog dig during these times of chaos while outside.
Back inside the prison cells
Rutherford: "Hey Sol, how is that smaller part of you that you left in the tunnel doing?"
Sol: Doing good, I can still control it and we are making headway. Soon enough, we will be ready to dig up from below. The idiots charmed the floors to be dug from inside the cells, not from the other side. I'd say another couple months of "Outside Time" and we should be able to make our escape at the same time.
BACK TO YOU AND FLASH
You smack him making him stop: "Sorry bro, but if I didn't act, the song would have spread through all of Ponyville until we all either died, or passed out from exaustion."
Flash: "I think that is going a little overboard isn't it?"
Bugze: "Don't forget, this is Ponyville, the town has luck almost as bad as mine. And with me in it, the bad luck likely triples."
Flash (looking a bit pale): "Good point."
7853451
In the way to the cells, Kichi the changeling ask the others
"So... Any plans after we get outside, we separate and try again? Try to stay under the radar for a time so that the Bounty Hunter don't catch us? Or we try again? I think some of us did have enough time in this 'reunion'" Comment in low voice so that they are not heared by the guards that are looking them.
The idea of working with the others together did not even pass his head, as there was a couple of reasons that they didn't worked together in the first time nor they did reunions many times, as he knew that most of them liked more working in their own projects.
7855533
Rutherford: "I think I will head back home to the Wyvern Enclave on the Mareiterranean Coast. It's a good place to lay low for a while. Actually, you are all invited to join me. I have a lot of connections there, most being family, and I can guarantee jobs for everyone. There is plenty of options for food, both of the meat and plant varieties.