Episode 61: The Not-So-Terrifying-Rather-More-Adorable Attack Of The Fruit Bats!!
Opening Theme:
As you and the other apple family members run away in a panic from the fruit bats, a thought occurs to you...
Kichi's Comment
OH BUCK I FORGOT ABOUT NIGHTSHADE!!
As soon as you remember your daughter you begin to frantically search for her while dodging both apple family members and the pure evil that is bats. Somehow through the crowd you hear Nightshade's voice tones,
"Don't worry Nightshade! I will...save...you?" you sputter off as you take in the scene in front of you.
You did hear your daughter's voice above the crowd, but she wasn't screaming. She was laughing.
You see her up an apple tree, standing on a branch and waving her arms around in the air like an orchestra conductor...And the Bats are obeying her!
"Hee hee. Now do a bunch of loop-de-loops!" she commands, and sure enough, the group of bats in front of her all do spin tricks.
"Now flap with only your left wings!"
They, laboriously, do just that as well.
And while you take in this scene, a larger majority of bats continue to fly around, terrorizing the Apple Family, but not the ones she is talking too.
"How in the...?"
Oh my sweet child. She's inherited one of my talents, Selena gushes in what you think is pride.
Wait, What? you ask.
The ability to control creatures of the night, Selena explains with glee. When I was a filly...or rather when SHE was a filly, she corrects losing a bit of her glee, She loved to play with bats for they could not refuse to obey her. And it seems that our child also has this ability.
So you and...she who will not be named had complete control over these little monsters?
Of course. Didn't you ever wonder why Thestrals are the majority of the Night Guard?
You mean those guards that were pulling her chariot on Nightmare Night were BAT Ponies? you ask in dread.
Yes. What else did you think they were? she asks confused.
I really thought she was just really into metal and illusioned them to have demon wings or something. I didn't expect the legends of Bat Ponies to be true...NO, I Hoped they weren't true! you shriek in your mind as there is now a whole species out there that frightens you.
Rolling her eyes (you presume) she just says, Yes, anyway take comfort to know you are not in danger from these creatures anymore.
Wait, can you control them? Can I? Can Nightshade command Bat ponies? you think back.
You and I? No. As for the Thestrals...I do not truly know if she can. Best hope the situation doesn't arrive where we must find out.
Agreed. But control powers or not, she should still NOT be touching one of those gross things! you shriek in your head as you see Nightshade pluck one of the colorful bats out of the air and begin hugging.
"NO! Rabies Alert! RABIES ALERT!!!"
You then gallop closer to the true, and as you do, you notice something off about the bat...
Kersey's Comment
The thing off about it is that it looks likes it's about to burst like a balloon! Your eyes widen at this as you think,
What the buck did that thing eat!?
I believe it's less of what it ate and more so the fact that our daughter can't control her strength when it comes to things she finds adorable. Remember Cerberus?
You thoughts drift back to when Nightshade made the guard dog of Tartarus whimper in pain (or so you were told, but you believe it) before you shake your head to get to the matter at hoof. You continue to stare at the scene until you think,
...Will it make me a bad parent if I let her squeeze that monstrous thing till it pops?
YES YOU IDIOT!!
Holding your head in pain from the shout you think,
Fine fine I'll stop her...if for more the bat beast's sake than her own....Never thought I'd say that.
With that said you shout up at her.
"Nightshade!" hearing you, she lets off some pressure from the poor bat, which you can't help but notice it let out an actual sigh of relief. Shaking your head you continue.
"What did I tell you about these things!" Rolling her eyes she responds.
BrownDog's Comment
“Dad, I know you said don’t touch the bats, but come on, these things are so cute,” she says cuddling the entrapped one under her chin. As if to counteract this statement, Big Red runs past screaming with some in his mane.
“No! Bad Nightshade! Quit consorting with the dark forces of darkness themselves!"
And what’s THAT supposed to mean? Selena huffs.
No, not you Selly. I’m talking about the bats obviously! The true meaning of evil!
Well mind your tongue in the future. And for goodness sake, they are literally just flying rodents. And these ones appear to have bodies that mimic harmless fruit.
That’s what they want you to think!
“Stop the Bats! Stop The Bats! Make them go and not come back!” you chant out.
“But I’ve got them under control. See, they’re not so bad,” she says as she sends some flapping towards you.
“NIGHTSHADE! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!” you shriek as the group of bats make a bee line for you, causing you to bravely flee.
“They just want cuddles dad!” she calls out, but you ignore it as the rainbow of death chases you.
This is literally a recurring nightmare you had as a larvae, made manifest by your own daughter no less.
As you run, you enter into a larger group of Apple members who are being chased by their own bats, leading to you and them changing directions multiple times.
Eventually another group of bats appear in front of your group, while the ones from before cut off your exit at the back. You and the Apple ponies pause and stare in dread at the two groups, who have stopped due to surprise from the front bat's sudden appearance.
Then, both groups of bats begin to stare at you and the others, as you stare back at them in utter horror.
They stare at you.
You stare at them.
They continue to stare...and stare...and...
Master of Shadow's
Out of the corner of your eye you see that the group of ponies right next to you are the band ponies, including that Octavia recolor mare. You see her and the other band members sigh as they pull out instruments from their saddlebags.
"What are you doing? No sudden movements!" you whisper shriek to them.
The Not-Octavia mare simply says, "Mr. This here swarm is gonna happen whether we like it or not. At least this way we'll have some nice music to panic to."
As she finishes explaining, the others have their instruments ready to play. Recognizing just what those instruments are, you can't help but begin to sweat nervously and think,
Oh Lady Luck I'm begging ya. Please don't let them play what I think they're gonna play.
Sadly for you Lady Luck has other plans in mind as they begin to play this, and with that all heck breaks loose once again!
The bats begin to go crazy and begin to 'chase' you and the other ponies once again (they're really just freaked out from the sudden music, and following the band ponies). Ponies begin to run this way and that, throwing their hooves up and flinging them wildly.
Ponies run in and out of the barn, and chicken coop, and the Apple Family house with bats chasing after them, usually somehow entering and exiting the buildings at different points that would seem impossible to reach from where they entered.
You, meanwhile, have gotten squashed from the stampede of ponies running way from the bats. After puling yourself up from the ground with a cartoonish sound effect out of nowhere, you shake your head in annoyance as you scan the scene. Coming right towards you is a group of the fruit bats, that might very well be the same ones Nightshade sent. And you know what time it is.
"AAAAAHHHH!!!" you yell like a mare as you once again bravely flee.
BrownDog's Comment
As you flee, the images of pure evil keep playing in your mind.
Bats are never good news. Even Batmane is afraid of them. All they do is suck your blood, give you rabies, get eaten by drugged up rock stars, and annoy the heck out of you in caves in Pokem- *DING*
That’s It!
You turn around, and though you shiver in abject horror, you reach into your inventory grabbing your daughter’s pet while yelling.
“Mangle! I Choose You!” and throwing the plush animatronic to the ground in front of you. She dusts herself off and gives you a glare.
“Mangle! Use Sonic Blast on those monsters before they DESTROY US ALL!!!”
Mangle looks from you, back to the bats, and around to the screeching ponies, and then back to you in confusion.
“Just blast some Ozzy! Bats are terrified of his music!”
The fox just shrugs, faces the incoming bats, opens her mouth and blasts some awesome music.
Immediately you see panic in their beady little soulless eyes as they, and the bats swarming the other ponies screech all at once, hurting your ears. But it causes them to stop swarming and just hover in midair.
When Mangle closes her jaws, all the bats in the area turn and glare at her, causing her to take a step back, and you think you hear a mechanical gulp.
“Alright, great job Mangle. Now use slash!”
The fox looks at the countless ticked off bats and then her own claws and back, before she peaces out and jumps back into your inventory, causing ALL of the bats to chase after you again because she’s in your bag, leaving everyling else alone.
“Curse You Mangle!” you yell and run as others keep clear of you. Where before the bats were just randomly flapping around, or startled by music, they are now intentionally trying to get you thanks to your choice in music.
"Oh Come On! It was just the one bat he did it to!" you yell back, but this does nothing to deter them.
Also to add insult to injury, you run into the dessert table where fresh pies and other goodness had just been placed, causing the food to smear all over your clothes.
“OH COME ON!”
Covered in sticky food stuff also has another drawback. As you are swarmed by the angry bats, several stick to you and won’t come off. This is the straw that breaks the camel’s back as you shriek incoherently and run aimlessly.
Bugze! Just calm down!
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”
Just breathe! For the love of me breathe and get your wits about you! Selena implores.
“IIII DON’T WANT TO DIIIIIEEEE!!!” you flail as the bats beat their wings against you and squeek.
“Hang on daddy! Stay still and I’ll”
“I DON’T WANT TO BE BATMANE!!!”
Meanwhile Sombra is just laughing his drunk flank off. Oh, by Tartarus. If only I’d known about bats, you would have been Nothing, hahahaha *HICK* But my sweet little overlord has none of your weakness. Bwahahahaha!
Screaming madly, covered in bats, and running like a nutjob, you rush into the barn by crashing right through the side of it, and the entire swarm follows you in.
“Go Away! For Bucks Sake Get Lost!” you yell as you start smashing into wooden posts, rolling around on the ground, and eventually, getting out your powerglove and sending out whatever plasmids that you can think of. This serves to get rid of the bats that were just following you, but the ones still stuck to your coat drive you mad. Luckily, after setting fire to the barn, and freezing yourself, the heat melts the ice into water, causing the adhesive apple foods to fall off, allowing the bats to fly away.
“Oh thank goodness! I’m saved! I’m *Crash*”
Unfortunately, your structural damage brings the barn down on top of you.
As the dust settles, and the fires are smothered Applejack and Braeburn worriedly call out for you, but you pop out of all the debris still screaming.
“AAAAAHHHH!!!” You then proceed to start flailing around like a madstallion, and hitting yourself in the head with a piece of wood.
“They’re in my mane! They’re in my mane! Oh Sweet Celestia HELP MEEEEEE!!!!”
“Baker!” Applejack shouts, causing you to pause.
“There is NOTHING in your mane.”
You then look around, seeing no bats, and take in the wrecked barn and the entire reunion looking at you like you’re nuts. Some of the stalker cousins from before are more than a little freaked out by you now.
“…Exactly. I was…merely running a drill, heh heh…” you make up, causing everypony there to facehoof with a resounding smack that echoes across the farm.
Chuckling nervously, you extricate yourself and stand next to Nightshade who just shakes her head at you.
“Wow Daddy. Really?”
“Quiet you. You’re still grounded.” you snark back causing her to roll her eyes.
Yeah yeah, roll your eyes Queen of the Bats. I on the other hand probably have rabies, and malaria, and lockjaw and all kinds of diseases thanks to those monsters. Good thing they took off though, I don't think my heart can handle any more of this bullspit.
You then notice that Applejack seems down and depressed, and you even see her on the verge of crying, as you hear her saying the Reunion is ruined because of her. You feel a bit guilty because of this since technically YOU destroyed the barn. But then she gets the idea to have everyone build a new barn…which is accompanied by a musical number.
Sure enough, Not-Octavia and her bandmates put away the instruments they played during the bat invasion, and begin playing a very catchy tune, as the Apple Family members begin hoof tapping, and happily building a new barn. You help where you can...but seeing as how you did just destroy the thing, you only handle little things and listen to the song.
It’s really catchy, but Nightshade points something out about it.
“Are they saying RACIST Barn Daddy?” Confused, you listen to the lyrics more closely, and now that she's said it...
“I…can’t really tell. But why would it be a racist barn? What does that even mean? Are Zebras and Minotaurs not allowed in? I mean, Flash isn’t here so I don’t know for sure. Although I know for a fact the apples don’t look kindly on Changelings…well except for Braeburn that is...”
As you ponder this, they finish building the barn back up. You are then forced to be included in the family portrait, even though you try to object, but Big Red, some of the kids force you into it. With the photo taken, the day starts drawing to a close, and several of the families start loading up to leave. You keep your distance from several of the mares, but while some of them do look at you with a sad expression, none of them approach you. Which makes you, and strangely Applejack thankful.
It eventually comes time though for Braeburn to make his leave.
"Are you sure you can't hang around for a few days? I've mis....only just gotten to know you."
"I'm afraid so Mr. Tennant. I feel the same way though. In the short time I've known ya, you've been a blast. You remind me of an old friend I haven't seen in years," he says with a wistful smile.
"I hope you come visit Appleloosa some time, I'd show you around. It's a very friendly place."
I know it is buddy...I know it is you think in sadness as you nod to him and give him a hoofbump.
"Right, well see ya in the future Baker Sylvester Tennant. I've got to get back to see how Zappy's holding up."
"Zappy?" you ask in confusion.
"Oh, right. She's the main...uh...Big Sister of all the others. She and I kind of, uh...work together to keep the others happy," he stammers. Still not getting the implications, you just nod and say,
"Good luck Braeburn."
"Thanks. So long Everypony!" he calls out as his wagon begins moving, carrying him away into the sunset. You let out a sigh as he disappears from sight.
"Did ya take a likin to Braeburn Baker?" AJ asks beside you suddenly, causing you jolt a little.
"Y-yeah. He seemed like a cool guy."
"For sure. Cousin Braeburn's the friendliest pony you'll ever meet outside of Pinkie Pie," she says as she places a hoof around your shoulders in comfort...until she starts trying to pull you in further than is just friendly.
"I gotta get to bed!" you say as you stand up, untangling yourself. Applejack seems offput by your actions but just shrugs.
"Well alright then. I hope you at least had enough good Apple treats today, because we are plum cleaned out." You wilt as you realize you didn't get one single bite. Now you realize how Rainbow felt before you gave her your cider last year. "Yeah...sure," you mumble and start walking away.
Buck you Bon Bon.
You then begin heading back to your shack, but she calls out to you one more time.
"Wait! Baker." You stop and look back at her.
"Umm...well. You see the thing is, I just wanted to say sorry for the bats. Because of my manic planning, they swarmed, and you got scared. Don't even worry about the barn from before, it ain't your fault. I'm sorry," she apologizes as she twists her hoof on the ground.
Taken aback by the apology, you just wave your hoof and say, "Forget about it. It's all good, heh heh." She chuckles with you but then you add,
"But no seriously, FORGET about it. I'd rather not be reminded by that swarm of evil again..."
And with that you find it best for everyone, and your damaged pride, if you went back to your shack. So with the excuse of it being late and how you still need to organize a few things you leave, but you still let Nightshade stay so she can play with her friends.
As you near your shack, you see a shadowy silhouette exit your front door.
"Hey!" you call out. The figure looks towards you, before disappearing into the darkness of the trees.
"Oh what the buck is going on now?!" you think in irritation as you open your door and see...
"Oh Sweet Smoking Mamba Jamba!" you cry out in happiness.
On the table in your tiny kitchen area is an assortment of Apple Family Baked goods. Apple Fritters, Pies, Strudels, etc. All sweet heavenly things that you thought were lost to bats and sneaky Former Agent Mares.
"Oh thank you mysterious benefactor!" you cry out as you dig into the desserts like a slob. In the back of your mind, you wonder who it was that left you these goods. Was it Bon Bon feeling guilty? Maybe. Though the size of the silhouette seemed bigger than a mare...But oh well. YOU GOT FRITTERS!
You then eat yourself into a food coma, being sure to leave enough for Nightshade to gobble up when she gets back.
After the day you've had, you fall into a food induced sleep.
A WEEK LATER
Today's the day. Today's the day you finally have a chance to escape. You are at the train station with The Deadly 6 and Nightshade. It's been a week after the reunion, and while nothing really spectacular has happened, you've been awaiting this day with glee. Soon, they will be on there way to the Crystal Empire to talk to some official or something for the Equestria Games. Soon you will have a whole day without any of them, and you can make your escape.
You can get back home to Appleloosa, and not have to worry about meeting the princesses when they come in two weeks. Sure it might make them sad leaving like that, but not seeing the look of guilt won't make it so bad. All they have to do is get on the dang train already!
"Alright, Baker I know it's your day off, but you never know if Mac might need help or not, so keep your ears open," Applejack says.
"Got it, Got it," you say hurriedly as she boards.
"Oh, and it'd be real cool if you could check my mail box for me please? I'm expecting an important letter," Rainbow implores you.
"Yeah yeah, sure," you say as you shoo her onto the train.
"Thanks, you're the best," she smiles at you and gets on the train.
Rarity then asks, "Be a dear and stop the CMC if you see them getting out of hand."
"FINE! Train's gonna leave!"
Then Fluttershy stands in front of you. "Oh, um. The uh, animal sedatives are on my table. I'm sure Harry will let you in," Fluttershy says, still not quite looking you in the eye, but at least she's not upset anymore.
"Thanks Fluttershy," you say calmly. "Now hurry, before you miss the train."
She smiles and boards.
"Be sure to have lots of fun BST!" Pinkie cheers.
"I will. LOADS of fun! It's starting up!"
You then see Twilight whispering something to Nightshade, causing her to nod. Raising your eyebrow suspiciously, you walk over to her, but she stops you halfway and says,
"Have a good day Tennant. We'll be back by the evening. Don't get into too much trouble."
"UGH. Will you all just leave?!"
"Oh I will. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll have plenty of company while we're gone," she says with a sly grin.
"What's that supposed to mean?" you ask.
"You'll see," she titters as she gets onto the locomotive and the whistle blows.
Finally, FINALLY! The mares get on there dang train, many of them waving at you from the windows. You see the train disappear into the distance, and you let out a victory smile.
"Finally!"
Why did we not go with those pathetic whorses! slurs the king.
Because A. I'd rather not go back to the Crystal Empire so soon after I did what I did. And B. I am not taking your butt anywhere near it. So stop whining!
After dissing smokey, you look to your daughter and say,
"Alright Nightshade, the next train coming is getting us out of this dumb town and back home."
She just looks up at you and gives you a weird look.
"I sincerely doubt that," she says as she hops on your back and pulls Mangle out of the Inventory.
Raising your eyebrow you ask.
"And why do you say that?"
She then hops off with the robot fox and says.
"Dad, if I've learned anything over the last three years, it's that Lady Luck will always buck up your plans just for fun. So the chances of us getting on that next train and leaving are slim to none," she says matter of factly.
"Oh is that so?" you snark back. "Well to heck with that logic. The Deadly 6 are gone, no one else is watching me like a hawk, and the train to Appleloosa should be cresting that corner right about..."
*WHISTLE*
"Now!" you punctuate with a smile. And even as Nightshade rolls her eyes, and the train stops in front of you, you feel confident that nothing, NOTHING will screw with your pla-
"BAKER SYLVESTER TENNANT!!!" comes a very excited/overjoyed to the brink of tears male voice on the train. The shout is so loud, it rattles the windows, and can be heard as far away as the Whitetail Woods.
Your eyes widen as you recognize the voice.
The minute the train doors open, a flash of orange and blue rushes out in a blur and slams into you at such a high velocity, that you land several blocks back from the station.
As you try to get your breathing back under control, you look up into the teary eyed, overjoyed face of your Bro Flash Sentry, as he hugs the living daylights out of you.
"Oh Bro, Oh Bro, Oh Bro! I knew I'd see you again one day. ONE DAY!!! The minute I got Twilight's letter, I bolted straight here!" he says as he ruffles the top of your head under his chin.
You can't quite get the air to tell him to stop, even though you see an amused crowd of ponies watching you...and surprisingly an upset looking Aloe? But anyway, what he says registers with you.
Oh Twilight you crafty scheming troglodyte!
She is Celestia's pupil after all Selena snickers.
As Flash blubbers away randomly while hugging you, you hear the train take off in the distance. Then, Nightshade and Mangle come into your sight.
"See. Told you daddy. Slim to none. Anyway, you have fun with your bromance, I'm gonna go help Spike with pet sitting like Ms. Twilight asked. Bye daddy," she says as she trots off with her pet.
A bit upset you shout in your mind since you are barely getting oxygen.
BUCK YOU TWILIGHT!!!
Kill Him! Kill the Waifu-
SHUT UP!!!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Outro:
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Best Bromance: Shawn and Gus from Psych. Inseperable, practically useless without the other, and the humor between them just seems natural. BFFs for life.
Bugzee try to fool Flash, to get free of him, but there was not way of getting free.
"Closing the doors!! Everypony that wants to go to Appleloosa, enter now to the train or wait to the next train to go to Appleloosa, a train that will not be here for a time because there are problems in the rails because of some bandits, so if you don't take this precise train you could have problems to go to Appleloosa" Shout the machinist to the station.
"Noo! Wait! We need to go!" Try to say Bugzee in a very low voice as he can't get air from the hug.
"Baker! I tought you were dead! How good to meet you! I'm sure you also wanted to talk with me, let's go and talk" Say Flash as he take Bugzee and begin to drag him away from the train
"Noo! The train! I need to get it!" Say Bugzee as he try to reach the train with his hoof, watching as the door of the train close and it begin to move.
"Noooo!" Shout Bugzee crying. "Damn you Lady Luck!"
Meanwhile the voices begin to shout
"Kill Him! Maim Him! Destroy the waifu stealer!" Say the strange voices
As all of that happened, Nightshade followed his dad to the village, waiting for the best moment to sneak away and visit the other crusaders in the club house. And Bugzee was really tempted to just agree with the voices for first time.
MEANWHILE
Two shadow figures were looking the scene of Bugzee as he try to reach the train.
"Somehow it make me feel bad, for him to be forced like that..." Say one shadow figure
"You know it was necessary, we can't let him return to Appleloosa, this is not the right time, we need to make him stay here." Say the other shadow figure.
----------------
The best Bromance? Supernatural. Everyone can see that they are together for some reason.
God damn it , if only it was video games then I would have put Shepard and garrus
JD and Turk from Scrubs i don't know how to put a video from YouTube on this but look up guy love from scrubs
Bugze off-handedly mentions the "racist barn" song and Flash gets scarily offended, in the way of 'I should have been there singing too,' way and starts dragging you towards the ticket counter to get tickets to the Crystal Empire for your group (he is oblivious to your protests, and won't leave you alone) to give Applejack some words. You manage to stop him, but not before the last train to Appleoosa departs, with no more for a week (they are doing some maintenance on the rails)! As you begin to curse Lady Luck, Flash puts a hoofcuff on you, and it's twin on him, because he doesn't want to lose you again.
My question answer:
Might Gai and Rock Lee (from Naruto).
I personally think troy and abed from community. you rarely see one without the other. hell, even when they became mindless zombies they are still bros
7845388 For Supernatural, do you mean Sam and Dean Winchester or Dean and Castiel? Personally I feel that Sherlock and Watson from the show Sherlock...at least the new season will be out soon.
7845940 Let's not forget Crawley and Lucifer... It seems more a homo romance tv show
I know its not a tv show buuuuut....its still awesome (even if its not all that cannon)
i.gyazo.com/1ba456e37965a1d020634d3a14f242d8.jpg
Heavy and the medic, the most BadAss combo this side of the gravel pits A massive brute like heavy is scary as it is but add a medic with the power to heal him constantly and make him invulnerable to EVERYTHING (bullets, rockets, bombs, high speed trains) makes for a deadly combo, no really what would you do, your facing a crazed doctor and a living tank wielding a mini gun that can't be damaged, what you gonna cry him to death?
7846015 Fair enough
After a lot of hugs, and a tear stained panama hat, you finally get Flash under control. Seeing as how you’re still getting amused stares from the town, you take him away from prying eyes in an alley way.
“Flash buddy, it’s great to see you and all, but for crying out loud, calm down.”
“A-a-alright bro. I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect to see you so soon. Your bounty hunter brother told me you were in Neighsa.”
“Ah, so you met my brother eh?” you say sounding surprised.
“Heck ya I did. We were both at ground zero for the Beigh v. Shamalamadingdong fight, taking on some Crimson Knights. Why didn’t you ever tell me you had a brother?”
“It never came up before,” you say.
“How? I told you all about my little brother and then I asked you if you had any siblings way back when.”
“Well…the truth is, he and I were kind of strained, but we’ve made up a bit. He invited me and Nightshade to come settle down with him. He said he had a lot of bits, and would make sure nopony would try to harm us.”
“Oh, right. Well he was a pretty cool guy, and it meant the world to me when he told me about you not being dead. The minute I found that burnt piece of scarf…I felt terrible man.”
He then pulls out from his saddle bags the burnt scrap of scarf he found that day.
“I kind of held onto this, at first to remember you by, but then after I met your brother, I knew I had to give you at least something back. I know how much you loved this thing.”
“Yeah…I did,” you say as you accept the burnt scrap of what was once your amazing and awesome scarf.
“Thank you Flash, and I gotta say, it really is good to see you too.”
“Yeah, I know it is,” he says with a smirk. “Keep that in mind while I do this,” he says.
“When you do wha-*PUNCH* OW!” you cry out as he sucker punches you right in the mouth.
“What the buck Flash?”
“That’s for making me, all those poor stalkers, and most of this town sad for making them think you were dead!” he chides.
“Oh for Pete’s Sake! I already went through this like two weeks ago. I got enough punches and smacks for my mistake,” you whine.
He then picks you up from the ground.
“Yeah, I figured, but I had to get my two bits in,” he smiles and you roll your eyes.
“Anyway, now that I’m here, let’s go get Twilight and the girls, and we can hang out. I took a couple of days off of work to come here,” he beams.
“Well, bad news there Flashy, Twilight and them went off to the Crystal Empire literal minutes before you arrived.
His eyes widen at that.
“Seriously?” he asks.
“Eyup. They went to kiss some Games Committee agent’s butt in order for the Equestria Games to be hosted there.”
His ear wilts at that.
“Oh. Well she didn’t say anything about that in her letter,” he says as he pulls it out. “I kind of thought, well, you know, that we’d all be able to hang out…” he says a bit sadly.
Smirking, you say,
“Oh, what’s this? Are you upset a mare ditched you to hang out with her friends?”
He looks up startled at that.
“What?!”
“Oh I get it, she’s…adorkable I guess you could say,” you tease.
“I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says with shifty eyes.
“Although I think it’s kind of dangerous, ya know, she is your boss’s little sister,”
“Shut up! I wasn’t thinking anything like that I swear,” he says with eyes darting in fear as his cheeks turn red.
“Not to mention she’s absolutely insane on some days and-*MMPH!*” he suddenly puts his hoof in your mouth and whispers.
“Shut up! You never know when THEY might be listening!”
As soon as he says that, you hear from out on the street.
“Oh just shut up already! I’ll gladly kill the waifu thief, I think he’s after my future husband!...How about instead of shouting you actually give directions?!”
Both of you look in fear down the alley way.
“That was the voices!”
“That was Aloe!”
You and him then look at eachother before you both nod, and decide to flee the area.
After getting a good distance away, you tell Flash that Twilight and the gals should be back later tonight (which puts him at ease) and that until then you two can catch up. If your escape plans are going to be ruined, you might as well not waste a Bro-Day.
You let him know about how he’s probably only down here thanks to Twilight’s scheming, and how you won’t be here forever. She’s just dead set on you meeting the princesses.
He lets you know about how he wishes your brother would accept the reward himself.
“Yeah, not only do you get a medal, but a job. That Aqua lady, she got inducted into a program that’s even more mysterious than mine. Kind of a shame though, I’d hoped to get to work with her again.
You smile at that because Aqua’s doing alright in the world, and you keep chatting.
He doesn’t explain what he works on, Top Secret and all that biz, but he goes on to explain how he’s making his former boss’s life a living hell now that he’s his subordinate. In fact, now that Flash took some time off, he’s confined to a closet of a room until Flash gets back.
Ugh, can we stop chatting with this thief! I would prefer your insane unwanted stalkers to this sickenly sweet “bromance” as you call it.
Quiet you! My Bug’s Bromantic partner is none of your concern!
Rolling your eyes you think, Wow, thanks Selly. Way to defend me.
I have. And tell me I’m not lying? If you were, as they say, pitching for the other team, I’d say this Pegasus would be receiving flowers and chocolates from you, she teases.
THAT image makes you shake your head.
Nope! Nope! NOPE!!! Do Not Want!
“You OK Baker?” he asks as you shake your head wildly.
“I’m fine! Just don’t stand so close to me!” you tell him as you trot up ahead causing him to shrug.
Wanting a distraction, any distraction, you come across Rainbow Dash’s mailbox and check it for her like she wanted. Inside is a letter with the Wonderbolts insignia.
“Oh hey, look at that. She actually got a letter from them,” you say as you open the envelope.
“Whoah dude wait! It’s illegal to open someone elses- “
You drown him out as you read the letter.
Seems Rainbow has in fact been accepted into the Wonderbolts Academy. You smile at this since it means less chances of her stalking you but then you read the bottom of the page and you Squee a little.
“What was that noise?” Flash asks.
“This letter is signed by Spitfire herself!” you say as you caress her name at the bottom of the letter.
“OH…and…?”
Again you ignore him and sniff the hoof signature at the bottom. It has the faint scent of cinnamon and smoke.
“OK, what the buck are you doing now?” he asks a bit creeped out.
“NOTHING! What do you mean? I wasn’t doing anything weird!” you yell as you stuff the letter back in the envelope and shove it back into the mailbox.
“Let us never speak of this again.”
“Agreed.”
Oh for the gods’ sake. What in the actual Tartarus is the point of any of this! Sombra growls.
You haven’t really drank too much over the last week. Constant booze consumption without drunkenness has still led to you getting more than one tummy ache.
Luckily though, Fluttershy has come through.
“Hey Flash, you mind taking a detour? I need to see a bear about a tranq.”
“Umm…OK?”
Barney Stinson. 'nuff said.
Randomly in the story
B: hey flash, odd question but have you ever stolen someone's Waifu?
F: what?
B: nothing..
I know it's not from a T.V show but, I gotta say it'd be Kage and Jables from Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny. Not only do they make amazing songs, they beat the Devil in a rock off (kinda) and Jables was more than willing to become the Devils very special friend. That is a bromance of the ages.