Episode 50: You're Gonna Carry That Weight, The End Of A Bounty Hunter!
THE NEXT DAY
“Ugh, what time is she gonna get here daddy? It’s taking forever!”
“We’ve only been here for 10 minutes Shade.”
“Like I said, forever!” she moans as she slams her face on the train station platform ground, while Mangle leans on her with an equally bored look.
You roll your eyes at this,
“Honey, you really have to work on your patience.”
“Oh, this coming from you dad?” she mumbles which Mangle bark laughs at.
You scowl at this, surprised by your daughter’s comeback.
Well if she didn’t say it, I would’ve Selena giggles.
“Hey, don’t get snippy with me missy. You’re still in trouble for going into a direct battle like that even though I told you not to. Aqua is the worst babysitter ever!”
“Uh-huh, and how many injuries did I get compared to you?”
“That’s not the-Look, just be more careful next time will ya?”
“I will if you will daddy,” she says lazily.
Quit growing up so fast honey! I’m not used to you being snippy with me!
The young overlord speaks to me as such all the time. She’s learning how to bark at the peons beneath her.
You know you kind of just insulted yourself there right Sombrero?
I know what I said cockroach! You and the Moon Whorse’s spawn is greater than all of us. Even I recognize superiority. You two bring her down with your weakness and-
Oh stop prattling and go watch your cartoons you filth! Selena growls.
Yeah, and cut it out with that kind of talk or we dope up!
Oh please do, waste your last syringe on me, I’ll be happy either way, he chuckles.
You grit your teeth at that. That crazy pegasus that took your Inventory, but apparently he took a look inside and found your stash.
“Crazy doped nutjob, now I’m gonna have to go get some more and probably get banned from another pharmacy. Some guard dog you are,” you shoot at Mangle, who just turns from you and huffs.
“Don’t worry Mangle, it’s not your fault,” Nightshade comforts and pats the robot’s back. “Besides, I think Daddy needed to cut back anyway.”
Rolling your eyes again, you sit back on the bench with your arms crossed. The early morning light is starting to get annoying, and the lack of anyling else in this train station does make it boring. You then start to get impatient yourself.
After another three minutes, you finally give up.
“Okay Seriously! Where the heck is Aqua?!” you shout.
“Right behind you guys,” comes a chuckle.
You and Nightshade turn around and see the blue unicorn who has a trolling smile on her face.
“How long were you there?” you ask.
“About 5 minutes,” she smirks.
You and Nightshade facehoof at this.
“Sorry guys, I couldn’t help it,” she smiles.
You and Nightshade give her a scowl, before both of you burst out giggling. It was pretty funny.
After the fit of giggles, she sits down with you two and you ask the million dollar question.
“Sooo, how’d it go with the Princess last night?”
“Pretty well actually, you guys missed a heck of a celebration.”
“So nothing bad happened to you?” Nightshade asks.
“Oh heck no. It went just like I told you it would. The guards sang my praises, she landed in front of me and then she went into this whole speech about how proud she was that a citizen of her kingdom had such bravery and fortitude and blah blah blah.”
“So she just gave you praise?” you ask.
“All I could ever ask for, and then some. She actually wants me to go to a medal ceremony eventually and everything. Also I got the money too,” she says pulling out a big bag of bits.
“Alright!”
“Unfortunately it’s only my half since you kind of weren’t there.”
“Dang it!”
“Well you weren’t there after all…which is something she did take notice of.”
“Wait, she was looking for me?” you ask in worry.
“Well, some of the guards from the office starting asking where you were, and she got curious as well. She wanted to know where the brave Crimson Vengeance was. She personally wanted to thank the stallion that took down the Knight leaders and honor you as a true upstanding member of society”
“Oh if only she knew,” you moan.
“I know right? But anyway I covered for you. I told her that you had already left because you didn’t want praise or glory, and that you and I had a contract that only entailed capturing the Crimson Knights. You just wanted to get paid and to live your life out of the spotlight.”
“Sounds about right,” Nightshade chimes in.
“Good call Aqua,” you say as you hoof bump her.
“Thanks. And she seemed to buy it too. She asked me through to pass on a message to you ‘if I ever saw you again’. She says that if you ever choose so, you may meet her in person at any time to receive her thanks.”
“Yeaaahhh, probably not gonna take her up on that offer,” you mumble.
“So what happened after that?” Nightshade asks.
“Well, she spoke to me a bit more, then she went inside the Asylum itself to help with the recovery effort. You should have seen the looks on all those Knight Grunts they fished out of the lower level. She’s probably still there helping up.”
“Wow, maybe I overreacted for nothing if you got out of there that easily,” you muse.
“Well I wouldn’t say that,” Aqua says as she rubs the back of her neck nervously, “She did also talk to me about one other thing, and it’s probably good that you weren’t there,” Aqua says cheekily.
You and Nightshade give her a blank stare waiting for her to continue.
“And?...” you ask impatiently.
“Well, I got offered a job,” Aqua smirks.
Your eyes widen at that,
“A job?”
“Uh-huh.”
“From Sun Butt?” Nightshade asks.
“That’s right kiddo.”
“She wants you to be a guard?” you ask.
“Well yes and no I think. She said something about a special division unit, but she said she’d like to talk to me about it later today if I was willing.”
“And what did you say?”
“Well I didn’t say No. When the princess of the freaking sun asks to talk to you about a job, you agree,” she says matter of factly.
“Oh, right,” you say as you rub the back of your head. It probably is good you weren’t there, saying no to that kind of offer would have seemed suspicious. “So, are you actually considering it?”
“I don’t know personally. Depends on the job I guess, but hey, if I’m getting treated as a hero, I might as well get a better and steadier paycheck right? Also, she said something about Lt. Sentry singing my praises, so who knows.”
You flinch at that before asking,
“Flash? That’s good and all, but last I checked, Flash is still kind of looking for my other persona.”
“I thought of that too. But hey bro, if I actually get some sort of super top secret job or something, then I might be able to help you out in some way. Maybe keep the vultures off your back.”
It’s then that you figure something out. She has no bags on her, she’s still going to meet Celestia, and she might take the job. She’s not coming with you. Sadness starts to creep in on you, but still the fact that she’s willing to still look out for you causes some gratitude to fill you.
“Aqua? You’d do that?”
“Of course. That’s what friends do right? Look out for one another? Plus, I kind of owe you again after the whole saving my life for the 2nd time thing.”
“Oh wow, it’s like we’d have a spy in the system daddy,” Nightshade chirps.
“My thoughts exactly kid,” she then sees your conflicted face.
“Hey now CV, why the long face?”
“Well, it’s just. What if they find out that you really know me and you get in trouble for spying or something?”
“Hey, it’s not like I’m gonna break into restricted areas or anything…I don’t think. Whatever job this is it just means I might be able to hear some interesting tidbits a lot quicker, and maybe I’ll be able to send a message out to ya. Heck, for all we know it’s just some overpaid desk job,” she chuckles.
“I don’t know Aqua. What about sticking together and taking down criminals?” Nightshade asks.
She looks at your daughter’s sad eyes and sighs.
“The job’s finished kid, you and your dad don’t have to fight anymore.”
“Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it,” she mutters offhand. Aqua ignores her and speaks back to you.
“Look CV, I know you’re done with all this. We took down the Knight leaders, and I did say that’s all I’d stick around for right? I think in some way, I buried a part of my past that was attached to all this. And I think it’s high time you did too.”
She then hoofs over the bag of bits.
“Wait, Aqua I can’t take th-“
“Just take it CV. I’m more than likely gonna get some high paying Government job, and this is your half. Use it and go wherever you want,” she insists.
You hesitate for a minute, before taking it.
5,000 Bits added to Inventory.
“Thanks Aqua,” you reluctantly say.
“Hey it’s only fair right?”
You nod as the realization that your partnership with this mare is ending. And it’s kind of sad. Besides Nightshade and Selena, this is really the only pony who’s gotten to know the real you. If you think about it, she knows you better than Fluttershy and Cadence, and even Braeburn. Still, if Celestia is offering her a mystery job, she had better take some precautions.
“Alright Aqua, if you do get this job, you’ll need some help if you find anything out, and the only pony that I still trust and have a direct line to is Princess Cadance.”
“Princess Cadenza? Really?” she says wide eyed, “So let me get this straight, you’ve had a direct line to one of the freaking Alicorn princesses in the land this whole time, and you never used that to your advantage?!”
“Well, it’s not really all it’s cracked up to be. She doesn’t really have any sway over her aunt, and her husband hates my guts with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Plus now she’s ruling the Crystal Empire, but every now and then, she’ll write me to check up on me and let me know if something drastic is happening.”
“Oh…gotcha. I’ll keep her in mind then,” Aqua says with a smile to which you return.
You both then break your smiles before looking around at the empty station. None of you say anything for a while.
“Heh, we’ve sure been through a lot haven’t we?” Aqua muses.
You nod at this. You don’t look at her, but you continue your thoughts.
“Yeah, from a crazy videogame obsessed changeling to social outcasts with an odd job, to a junk food eating giant, a revenge obsessed magic user, a couple idiots that sucked at their job and a couple of psychotic weirdoes, we’ve been through it all…
“Are you talking about the Knights or yourself daddy?” Nightshade asks.
You’re about to answer her, when all of a sudden that realization hits you like a ton of bricks.
“…Huh.”
“I think you’re all just looking too deep into it,” Aqua shrugs.
“I don’t know, considering my past with Lady Luck, this could just be the universe still screwing with me…” you mutter.
“Well aside from that strange coincidence, we all had fun right? And we made a pretty penny on top of it. All in all, good times,” Aqua finishes.
“Well except for that part where Daddy beat you down pretty badly and nearly drowned you in the river,” Nightshade adds, and both yours and Aqua’s eyes widen. “Although we did conveniently become friends after that, so I guess it worked out in the end.”
“Wow, way to bring down the mood kid,” Aqua deadpans.
“I still can’t apologize enough over that,” you add.
“And like I keep saying forget about it. You’ve saved my haybacon more times than you tried to cook it after all.”
“That’s just the norm for daddy. Look at the Deadly 6, beats them up just as many times as he saves them.”
“That...is actually pretty accurate…huh,” you ponder while Nightshade and Aqua giggle.
“Well hay, for what it’s worth, I feel honored you’d do the same for me that you’d do for the Elements,” she smiles.
You chuckle at this too, before things get quiet and awkward again.
“Ummm, so last night…” she starts and you give her a questioning brow.
“What was that thing you did?”
“What thing?” you ask.
“You know, the thing?” you still give her a blank look so she continues.
“The thing where you took control of the mind control blood. What was that? And why did your voice sound all dark and female?”
Oh right, she was awake for that. But before you can come up with an excuse, Nightshade tells the truth.
“Oh, that was just mommy assuming direct control.”
You look flabbergasted at Nightshade, while Aqua just looks confused.
“Your mommy? What’s she mean CV?”
“I…Okay, I know this won’t make sense, but just trust me when I say that her mother lives in my head and is extremely powerful.”
She just looks at you blankly as if she’s expecting you to start laughing. When you don’t she just shakes her head.
"You know, nothing about you surprises me anymore. Well, if your wife is in your head, you tell her that I appreciate the help she gave and that she’s totally kickflank."
“Um, she and I aren’t actually mar-“
Hmm, Strange. I actually feel honored by this water nymph’s praise. I suppose I do hold an iota of respect for her. Tell her I don’t view her as filthy garbage anymore.
“She uh…says she appreciates it, heh heh.”
“Good…good…” Aqua starts as everyone gets silent again. Seriously, why are there so many awkward silences during goodbyes?
“Sooo, where are you two headed now that the Knights are gone? You didn’t have an answer last night, how about now?”
You think about what her question, and only one word comes out your mouth.
“Home…”
“Home?” Nightshade asks happily.
“Yeah…we’re going home.”
“And where’s home Mr. Vengeance?” Aqua asks.
“Appleloosa,” you say with longing and happiness. Even Nightshade’s eyes sparkle at the name.
“Really? That backwater town is home for you two?” Aqua asks surprised.
“Hey, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. It may be in the middle of nowhere, but it is home,” you defend.
“Yeah, the ponies there sure don’t judge. They didn’t care that daddy was a changeling,” Nightshade adds.
You smile at that, and at the skeptical look on Aqua’s face you say in nostalgia as Aqua listens with rapt attention,
“It’s true. I would walk around with just my Stetson on without a care in the world. I’d fix houses, hang with my Braeburn and Little Strong Heart at the Salt Lick, listen to Old Man Muffin’s wild tales, and just…live. The ponies, the buffalo, they all welcomed me in that town. Not the Hooded Offender, not BST, El Hunko, or CV. Just Bugze the changeling with his little girl Nightshade. It was paradise.”
“Also, the apples were delicious, and never ran out, no matter how many I ate,” Nightshade beams.
“Wow…when you say it like that, I guess it does sound pretty nice,” Aqua concedes.
“It is. And we haven’t been home for…a year and a half,” you say in realization.
Aqua nods and puts her hoof on your shoulder. “Then what are you waiting for Red? Make your way back home. Back to your happiness.”
You beam at her words, and you feel the joy spread through you.
“I wouldn’t take the train though, I think Celestia would still like to find you in order to give you praise.”
“Thanks for the heads up…in fact, thanks for all the heads up you’ve given Aqua it was…it was good getting to know you.”
“Well, getting to know me enough I’d say, we both still have our secrets” she chuckles, “But yeah, it was good having you as a buddy. It was fun,” she smiles. “Ah man. I’m never good with goodbyes.”
“Oh I can’t take it anymore!” Nightshade shouts and rushes up and hugs Aqua hard, causing her to wince.
“I’m gonna miss you a lot Aqua! You let me do fun fighting stuff when Daddy wasn’t looking. You were an awesome friend!” she says with a bit of tears in her eyes.
Aqua gives you a nervous look to which you kind of scowl, but Nightshade continues.
“Y-you’ll come visit us in Appleloosa sometime right?”
Aqua rubs Nightshade’s mane and says,
“Yeah, one day kid, I’m sure I will. I mean, every job has vacation days right?”
“I’ll hold you to it,” Nightshade says as she pries herself off, and wipes her eyes.
Once she does, you pounce and give the mare you’ve spent the last few months hunting with a hug of your own. You tear up a little yourself.
“Thank you Aqua…for everything.”
“Thank you CV, for the second chance…”
You remain in that hug for a good while, before with one final squeeze, you two separate. Looking around and still seeing no one, you take off your mask and allow her to see your smile.
“Goodbye Aqua.”
“Goodbye Crim…Bugze. You and Nightshade take care now, and I’ll catch you on the flip side.”
You both nod at this. No other words are spoken, you gather up Nightshade and Mangle onto your back, and with one final smile, you walk away from the station while Nightshade and Mangle wave goodbye to your Water Bender friend.
You don’t look back, not because you don’t want to, but because it’d be too hard. You keep walking till your hooves lead you to the road that will lead you back to Appleloosa, to the road that will take you home.
Back on the platform, Aqua lets out a sigh as you and Nightshade fade from sight.
“I’ve seen you at your worst, and I’ve seen the best of you. You’re a good guy CV. I hope one day everyone else will see that as well…Now then, this new job had better have a good dental plan. And paid living quarters couldn’t hurt, I am a Hero after all. Heck, maybe I can work with ol’ Batmane Sentry again, that chucklebuck wouldn’t see me coming” she giggles and walks towards her unknown future.
A Few Days Later In Canterlot
Princess Celestia smiles in her bed chambers as she looks over some documentation and sips some tea. A knock comes from her door.
“Sister, it is I. May I speak with you?” comes the voice of the Princess of the Night on the other side.
“Of course Luna. Come on in,” Celestia answers as she puts her paper work down.
Luna enters the room and sits on a pillow across from her sister.
“So Lulu, what is it you wish to speak to me about?”
Hesitation appears upon the Moon Princess’s face for a second before she composes herself and speaks.
“Tia…I just got wind that your gamble paid off. That it actually succeeded,” she says with concern.
Celestia appears downtrodden as she says, “Aw, I was going to surprise you with the news, it would have been so much sweeter when I said…” she then gains a smirk, “I told ya so.”
Luna frowns at this as her sister chuckles.
“Oh come now Luna, there’s no need to feel down just because I was right. This is cause for celebration.”
“I can’t feel as elated as you do sister. I still think that this course of action was reckless and potentially catastrophic. What if it had not worked?” Luna scolds.
Celestia’s face takes on a serious tone as she answers, “But it DID work Luna. I had faith in my student and her friends. And they came through. And because of it, we now have a powerful asset on our side.”
Luna snorts at this and avoids eye contact.
“I still don’t know why you suddenly came to this conclusion in the first place. What changed? Why do we even need him?”
Celestia sighs as it appears a weight falls upon her shoulders.
“Because I wanted a way to resolve all of this without any more violence Lulu. We’ve had to resort to Shining’s program because the violence and mayhem has gotten out of hand these last 3 years. I just wanted another option that didn’t have to end in bloodshed,” she admits.
“And you think HE is the solution?” Luna asks with skepticism.
“I felt it wouldn’t hurt to try. As mentally unstable as he is, he deplores death and the harming of innocents. It’s that fact that made me come to the conclusion that perhaps Friendship and Kindness could nurture these morals further. And I was right.”
Luna relents seeing the sad look on her sister’s face but still voices her concern.
“Be that as it may sister, do you think it wise to send him after The Offender?”
“He’s the only one with the power to end things peacefully. If he brings The Offender in, then there won’t be any more fighting or property damage. Heck, our national budget might finally bump back. And we won’t have to pool so many reserves into Shining’s project. It’d be the best option for everypony,” she lists.
Luna looks at the pleading face of her sister and sighs again.
She really does just want to do what’s best, even for The Offender himself. Still, even my own searches for him have born no fruit. It’s like he’s disappeared completely. If I can’t find him, what chance does that lunatic have? If he could bring him in though, then it would be easier to purge the darkness from his heart. I just wish it was I that could convince him, to gain his forgiveness…
“I suppose we will see how it turns out Tia, but aside from the radical extremists that followed him, The Offender has not appeared.”
“I know, not since the Crystal Empire. But he always has the misfortune of showing up when we least expect it. I hope that we can stop another incident before it occurs. But on a lighter note, thanks to the efforts of 2 brave bounty hunters, the leadership of the Crimson Knights have completely been captured.”
“Ah yes. Now that the snake’s head has been cut, the body will die,” Luna agrees while smiling.
“Exactly. Shining Armor has informed me that subordinates and foot soldiers are being picked up every day. So much so that the quarters we’ve been keeping them in are growing crowded. I think it best if they were moved to a larger, more accommodating location.”
“Why not throw them in with Chrysalis and her lot? I’m sure they’d get along well with all the changelings they’ve employed.” Luna smirks.
Celestia chuckles, “No no, I don’t see that going well at all. Even those Changelings amongst their ranks should be kept away from her. They might be viewed as deserters, and I’m sure she wouldn’t welcome them back with open arms. No, I think a new prison is in order.”
Luna nods at this in agreement, but then another thought comes to her.
“What of the 2 Bounty Hunters, the Crimson Vengeance and Aqua? Have they been rewarded for their efforts?”
“Well Aqua, as it turns out that IS her real name, was the only one I greeted back at Arkhay Asylum…” she shivers at the narrative that was given to her about what happened.
Thank goodness all those horrible weapons and drugs were destroyed... Shaking her head again, she continues.
“And if it weren’t for her leadership and skills, our forces and those poor inmates might have met a grisly end.” She then looks back up at Luna. “She will be receiving the highest medal a civilian can receive from the Government at a ceremony here. I have also offered her a Special Units position for her skills, but she has yet to accept or deny my offer, hopefully she will let me know at the ceremony.”
Luna nods,
“And what about the masked stallion clothed in red? What has become of him?”
Celestia looks confused at that and shrugs, “Well from what I could gather from Aqua, this Crimson Vengeance does not wish for recognition or glory, something that he’s gotten regardless from Guards all over the country. He hunted the Knights down just for the money she claims, and that her partnership with him ended after Grey Rebl and Erised were eliminated.” She then shakes her head at this, “I believe there’s more to it though, because I don’t believe a pony would go out of their way to rid the country of Terrorist Cell Leader’s just for the sake of money. But if those are his wishes, I suppose he’s earned the right for us to honor them. I still would like to speak to him if given the chance.”
“Agreed. A stallion of that skill set could be better utilized, just like this Aqua. What division would she be sent?”
Celestia smirks before saying,
“If she agrees, I know a certain stallion in the shadows that would love to have a mare of her skill set on his team.”
Luna’s eyes widen at this before a blush comes across her face.
“I did not know you still spoke with the Captain…”
“Oh you know Jack, he likes to run his group without our interference, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate an *ahem* ‘Chat’ every now and again. He still asks about you Lulu,” Celestia teases.
Luna blushes even harder and stands up.
“Well look at the time sister, I must attend to Night Court,” she then walks towards the door while Celestia titters. She pauses before leaving and turns around.
“Sister…Do you truly think he can find The Offender?” she asks with trepidation. Celestia’s face becomes serious once again, as she answers truthfully.
“I don’t know for certain Sister, but I can hope…”
Same Time, With You
“Ugh, why didn’t I just take the train and change into one of my other disguises?!” you lament as the run keeps on going. “I mean, we could’ve been in Appleloosa by now, and my hooves wouldn’t hurt so much.”
Well you were rather emotional over our departure with the Water Bender.
Yeah, I guess turning around and waiting for the train after that goodbye would’ve looked awkward.
Shaking your head, you call out to Nightshade.
“Hey Shade, could you bring the map out for me?” She pops her head out of the Inventory with the map in her mouth.
“Thanks Honey.”
You look at the map and see how much further you have to walk.
“We still have another 200 Miles to walk? Oh come on!” you shout in frustration.
“Grr, that’s it, next town we come to, we’re getting on a train. I’ve got enough bits!”
Suddenly you hear Nightshade gasp as she leans over your shoulder looking at the map.
“Do you really mean that Daddy?”
“Of course, we’ve got enough bits to settle down for a bit, maybe enough to put away for your college fund and-“.
“No, not that, I mean the whole stopping at the next town thing,” she corrects.
“Well heck yeah, my hooves are killing me.”
Suddenly she jumps off your back with a hoof in the air as she cheers.
“HOORAY! We’re going back to Ponyville!”
“WHAT?!” you shriek as you look down at the map. Sure enough, Ponyville is the closest town to your location with a train station, about 30 miles away. You facehoof at your screw up as Nightshade pumps herself up.
“Oh I can’t wait to see all my friends again, hopefully Applebloom and Spike kept their promises about me being alive a secret. Oh of course they did!”
“Nightshade calm down, we can’t go there right now,” you bark causing her to stop and give you a hurt glance.
“B-but you said the next town is where we’ll stop.”
“Yes, the next town BESIDES Ponyville.”
“Oh come on Daddy!” she huffs angrily.
“Honey, we’re finally free of the Knight shenanigans now, we can finally go back into hiding and live in peace,” you implore.
“I understand that Daddy, but come on, Why can’t I at least go say hi to the girls and Spike? It will just be for a bit while we wait for the train,” she pleads.
“We can visit another time honey, long after the fallout from the HO and the Crimson Knights dies down,” you try to reason.
“But it’s RIGHT there Dad! Can’t I at least see them one more time before we go back to Appleloosa? Please?!” she begs her eyes beginning to well up.
“I…” you pause as you see the heartbreaking look on your daughter’s face.
Will you say no to that face?
Oh come on don’t do this to me…
“I-I…Nightshade, every time we go to that town, madness and chaos always follows,” you begin. Suddenly, the sunny sky above you gets dark and you feel a sprinkle of liquid on your back. You then see the map is getting soaked…but it’s not water. It’s…chocolate milk?
“Madness and Chaos you say? Well that sounds like a grand old time! Ha Ha Ha!”
Both you and Nightshade freeze in place at hearing that voice coming from above you. You both slowly look up and see…
“Hello Hooded Offender! Hello Nightshade! been awhile hasn’t it?”
“DISCORD!!!” you, Nightshade, Selena, and even Sombra yell at the same time.
“Oh good, you do remember my name, and here I’d thought I’d be forgotten to time,” the draconeques chuckles.
No, this can’t be possible. Erised was right? You can’t believe it. She did it. She actually went and did it. Celsetia let Bucking Discord out!
That stupid whorse!
She’s released the Usurper! And ponies called me a bad leader?!
“WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” You shout up at him with fury.
“Oh now HO, is that any way to address an old friend of yours?”
“Old Friend?!” you shout out as you take a defensive stance. “You unleashed chaos, beat me up, took my daughter hostage and then you mindwiped everyone in Ponyville into thinking I helped you! And how the buck do you know who I am?!” you shout as your eyes turn orange.
“Well, yes that is true, I did do all those things,” he chuckles nervously, “And I know it’s you because whoever put your perception filter on didn’t take into account Madman’s Sight, but that’s a topic for later. For right now let’s hold on and not do anything hasty with Moony’s scary Nightmare Cloak, I just came here to talk,” he says as he holds up his arms in a calming gesture.
“Oh Bullspit! Where’s the WD-40 Daddy? I’m gonna spray this bucker’s other eye!” Nightshade snarls.
“Oh My. Such language. I should wash your mouth out with soap,” he says offended as he snaps his fingers and suddenly a bar of soap is lodged in your daughter’s mouth, which foams up.
“NNNNNNNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!!! Bleh, *Spit* Oh Sweet Mommy, it’s horrible,” she whines, trying to get the bubbles out of her mouth.
Your eyes glow even fiercer at this as you look up to the God of Chaos and shout, “You son of a b!@#$, “and jump up at him.
“Oh, whoa now!” he panics as he snaps his fingers and disappears, causing you to hit nothing and land on the ground.
“Let’s just calm down now HO,” he says with a calming gesture.
“Calm Down?! CALM DOWN?!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” you shout as you rush at him again, but he flies out of the way.
“Yes, please calm down, I’m not here to fight you,” he says.
“Bullspit! You attacked my daughter!” you yell as you feel the cloak starting to form.
“It was just soap! She’s got a dirty mouth!”
“Don’t you tell me how to raise my daughter!” you shout as you feel the anger well up.
Suddenly, he snaps his fingers and you feel a pressing wait on you as fall to the ground.
“What? I can’t move!”
“Well of course you can’t, there’s a monkey on your back,” Discord says matter of factly.
With effort you turn your head and see that there is indeed a monkey on your back. Although he doesn’t look nearly as heavy as he feels.
“Get this thing off me so I can hurt you!” you snarl.
“I think not, now you be a good changeling with an angsty alicorn in your head and listen to me, I’ve come here to-“.
“Falcon Kick! *Crack*”
“EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” Discord shouts as he cradles his wounded pride.
“That’s for taking me hostage,” Nightshade growls, before grabbing his beard, pulling his head down and punching him in the jaw.
“BLUGH!” he cries out as spit leaves his mouth and his head spins, and with that the monkey on your back disappears.
“And that’s for the soap!” Nightshade growls.
“Oh you little brat!” he says in a high pitched voice as he glares at Nightshade. “I’m trying to have a pleasant conversation here! Now why don’t you sit still?!” he says as he snaps his fingers and suddenly Nightshade is tied to a fancy looking comfy chair. Still though, he’s magiced your daughter again.
Selena, release the cloak! Discord doesn’t count remember?
Gladly
Tear the usurper to shreds!
“Alright, now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, why don’t we…Oh dear,” Discord pales as he sees your cloak form. Your scarred eye glows red as you feel Phase 1 form.
“Get Over Here!” you cry out as you send out one of your tails, grab him the ankle and slam him into the ground.
“Yeah! Get him Daddy! Buck him up!” Nightshade cheers. Apparently her anger at Discord overrides her hatred of the cloak.
You then slam Discord again and again into the ground before tossing him off the road and into a tree.
“Ohhhh, today is not shaping out like I hoped it would,” Discord groans as the tree he hits pushes him off, and runs away.
“Shut up!” you yell as you send out a shadow whip from you arm…only it has bits of red crystal attached to the end. It slams into Discord’s side, cutting him.
“AAAAAHHHH!!!” he roars in pain and holds his side. “Dark Magic? You didn’t know that last time!” he accuses.
“Oh, it feels so good to do that! Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted another chance to beat you?!” you cry out to the Lord of Chaos.
“Yes yes, ‘You’ve waited years for this’ blah blah blah, let’s nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand,” he says huffily as he snaps his fingers, and suddenly you’re in a bubble, to which you angrily lash out at.
“Oh come on! HAX! I call Hax!” Nightshade yells from her comfy chair.
Break out of this prison! End him!
I’m trying to you nutjob!
And why are you so adamant?! Selena accuses.
I despise him!
“Now HO, old buddy old pal, if you can hear me through your growls, I’d like to say what I came here to say, I am a busy draconequess after all. Now, about what happened a year and a half ago I’m-“
“Would You Kindly Buzz Off?!” you yell as you send an arc of red lightning through the bubble and into Discord.
“GRRRAAAGGGHHH!!! Ouch that stings!” he shouts as the lightning courses through him.
“I’ll do much worse to you! Your reign of chaos ends now!” you roar.
“Oh you know what?! Forget this!” Discord angrily huffs as he snaps his fingers and Nightshade is suddenly inside the bubble with you, causing you to lower your glove and hold her close.
“There are you happy? You know what, I don’t even care if you are, No manners the both of you not letting me finish my sentence! Why I ought ta…” he suddenly stops midsentence as his rage melts from his face, and he sighs. “No no, let’s forget about that Dissy.”
“Let us out of here so we can buckstart your head!” Nightshade growls.
“Yeah, we aren’t going to listen to your lies jerk! I don’t care what you came here to say, I won’t let you take over Equ-“.
“Oh for the love of Chaos, I came here to apologize you idiots!!!” he yells causing both you and Nightshade to shut up in shock.
“Apologize?” she asks.
“Yes you little brat. I came here to apologize about taking you hostage during our last encounter. It was a dirty move, and was really out of character for me! I was just desperate.”
“Oh boohoo you were desperate!” you yell out.
“Hey, do you know what it’s like to be stoned for 1,000 years? I do. I know what that’s like. And I was desperate not to go back to that, but that didn’t really work did it?”
He starts breathing heavily before his usual smirk adorns his face again.
“But that’s all under the bridge now, I’m out an about again. I hope we can be cool now buddy.”
“Cool now? As if! Why are you even apologizing?” you ask in confusion.
“Oh well here’s the thing good buddy, yours truly has been utterly and completely reformed…mostly,” he says with a bow.
You and Nightshade look at him from your bubble with mouths agape.
“Yeah Right! Celestia just let you out like a moron and you’re just coming to gloat to me!” you shout.
He chuckles at this. “Oh, while I agree on dear Tia being moronic, it turns out she was an absolute genius this time.”
You glare back at him, “Well if you’re reformed, then why don’t you let us out of this bucking bubble then?”
“Hey, I said I was reformed, not an idiot. I was hoping this conversation could’ve occurred without the pain and fighting and what not, but then again it is YOU.”
You growl again, but then Nightshade touches your arm in a calming gesture.
You calm down a bit, but your cloak does not dissipate, you can’t let your guard down. Not with him.
“I still don’t believe you! How can YOU be reformed? Did you just pop out of your statue and go, ‘OK I’m a good guy now?’ and they bought it?”
“Oh I wish it were that simple, but no I had to learn the hard way that Friendship is Magic and can be heartbreaking when lost. Dear Sweet Fluttershy taught me that.”
“WHAT?!” both you and Nightshade yell.
“Oh indeed, Fluttershy reformed me all on her lonesome, even I didn’t know she was succeeding,” he admits with a smile.
“LIAR! Fluttershy is too timid and innocent to be anywhere near you! What did you do to her?” you accuse.
He gives you an offended look and just shakes his head in disgust, “Wow, someone is living two seasons in the past. She’s a lot more durable than you give her credit for. Look at the miracle she pulled on me.” Seeing your still angry unbelieving face, he pulls out a picture.
“See look, I’m besties with everypony now.” The picture shows Discord standing with the Deadly 6, all but Fluttershy look uncomfortable around him.
“And before you ask, no I didn’t gobbledegook their minds. They’re all perfectly healthy and I have no desire to plunge the land into chaos…much.”
A bit taken aback, you stare at the picture, and none of the Deadly Six’s eyes look any different. Maybe he’s telling the…NO!
“When did this happen?!” Nightshade shouts.
“Just a few days ago. Tia left me in Ponyville to take care of something, and when she came back I was a good draconequess.”
“No that’s not right! You’re tricking everyling! I saw you two months ago in Applewood!”
“What?” he asks confused.
“Oh don’t pretend! You were there on that movie shoot trolling me, trying to make me think you were from the future!”
“Oh, bwah ha ha ha!” he begins laughing hysterically.
“What’s so funny?!” you snarl.
“Two months ago? I was still in stone at that time friend,”
“I saw you! You were pretending to be from the future!”
“Bwahaha! Sorry, but that’s too rich. I can’t time travel. That joke’s so funny that my side’s splitting…oh wait,” he grimaces as he holds his injured side.
“Oh Buck your lies. You deserved that wound and you know it!”
“Ok, maybe I deserved a bruise or two, but you always take things a step further with the violence, it is the one thing I still don’t like about you, but from what I’ve gathered about friendship, you have to take the bad with the good.”
“We are not friends! WHY? Why would Celestia let you out?” you shout.
“Oh well see, apparently she felt that someone of my power that was opposed to mindless violence and killing could bring in the country’s most notorious fugitive.”
Your eyes pale at this.
He’s come to take us in? Bugze, we have to get out of here now! Before-
“But the things is, even with all of chaos in the palm of my claw, I just can’t seem to find The Hooded Offender…” he says coyly.
Your eyes unglow at that, and your Nightmare Cloak dissipates.
“Huh?”
He smirks at this before saying,
“’You see Princess Celestia, The Hooded Offender his magic shrouds him from my sight. I have no clue where he is…’”
You, the two voices in your head, and your daughter are all extremely confused by this declaration.
“But, what?” Nightshade mumbles.
“Still not caught up? OK, let me dumb it down for you guys. I’m not going to turn you in to the Princesses.”
“W-Why would you do that?” you ask. You know the guy was random, but this makes no sense.
“Why indeed? Let’s just say one part of it is that I still feel bad about taking the brat hostage and want to make up for it, and the other half is for more selfish reasons.”
“Selfish reasons?” you question.
“Uh-huh. You see, being ‘reformed’ is one thing, actually being free is another. I’m on something akin to probation. I can’t cut loose and cause massive amounts of mayhem and chaos like I normally could, because then I’ll get sent back to my prison. Sure I can pull a prank or two, but that’s small fish compared to what I’m capable of, and that saddens me,” he says his head drooping as he starts crying Gummy Fish onto the ground.
“Ooookaaaayy. But what does that have to do with me?” you ask.
“Oh well it’s quite simple really. I won’t turn you in, and in return, you just keep living your normal life,” he says as if it’s obvious.
“How does that help you?” you ask.
“Oh dear sweet Bugze, besides yours truly, you are the most chaotic being I’ve ever met. Your life is constant chaos, and that pleases me,” he says excitedly. “And if I can’t go around causing the chaos, the next best thing is to appreciate the chaos caused by another. In other words, you.”
"Wait, you're going to watching us all the time?! *snap* Even in the bathroom!" you ask-yell in alarm and anger, eyes glowing.
"Woah, whoa, what do I look like, Heywood Polanski?!" he says as he poofs into a film director with notably black-framed, square glasses. "Despite what you and your brat may think, I do have a life that doesn't revolve around you; Tea with Fluttershy, fixing leftover chaos magic for Celie and Lulu, seeing if Jack is still around for that date-"
"Likely sto- Wait, what was that last part?" you say your outrage briefly turning into confusion.
"Although given Murphy's Law," Discord says ignoring you as he mutter-ponders as he shifts into a donkey with a mustache, "The few times I'm not watching is when the most fun or dramatic parts will happen..."
“Huh, well jokes on you pal, I’m not the Hooded Offender anymore. In fact, I’m done causing chaos.”
He just chuckles at that.
“Oh my poor deluded changeling, you keep thinking that. I can smell the curse of bad luck upon you. Someone in your family must have seriously irked Lady Luck at some point. But even if they hadn’t, your Nightmarish friend will never allow you to have peace. The chaos will come to you, just you wait. And when it does, I will observe it and enjoy the show,” he chuckles darkly.
As your eyes widen at this, he suddenly takes out an umbrella.
“Now, just know that I’ll be watching. I won’t interfere or anything, it’s much better than getting involved. So don’t expect to see me unless Hasbro dictates it.”
“Who?” Nightshade asks.
“Nevermind. And in return for this free show, I’ll make sure that I’m not the one to bring you in. Everypony else on the other hand…well, just deal with them how you normally would. But please try to cut back on being a bloodthirsty psycho. I hate murder. It's...distasteful.”
He then snaps his fingers and the bubble around you and Nightshade disappears with you both falling to the road.
“Well I think I’ve said my piece. Have fun with your life and all that,” he says as he opens the umbrella and starts to float up.
“Wait a minute!” you shout and he stops.
“If you’re truly reformed, then why don’t you take that memory spell off of everypony in Ponyville?”
He begins chuckling at that.
“Well I was thinking about that actually, right up until you cut me,” he sneers and your eyes pale.
“But then I thought some more and I realize that even if I took that spell off, it wouldn’t do much good for you. You’ve gone and caused all kinds of mayhem without me. Besides, wouldn’t want to make things too easy now would we?”
“Hey, that’s not fair! Daddy made some mistakes yeah, but at least he’s not a big jerk like you!” Nightshade accuses.
“Oh Nightshade, you still wound me even after I apologized. Oh well, guess you can’t win them all,” he starts floating up again.
“Hey! Where are you going?!” you shout to the sky.
“To find the Hooded Offender of course, he could be literally anywhere. I dare say he could be at the beach,” Discord shouts and with a flash, he changes into a bathing suit with sunglasses.
“How do we know you’re telling the truth?!” you yell.
“Well if you still don’t believe me, just go check on Ponyville and see how boring and Normal everything is. Ta Ta for now.”
He then deflates like a balloon and rockets across the sky.
You and Nightshade just stare flabbergasted at the sky.
“Did…did that really just happen daddy?” Nightshade squeaks out.
“I…I think it did.”
And as you stare, the weight of his words fall on you.
Wait a minute. If he’s telling the truth then…then…
“They gave Discord A Second Chance but not me?! What the absolute buck?!” you shout to the sky. “Where’s my second chance universe, huh? Where’s my chance at being the good guy?!”
The universe doesn’t answer you though, so Nightshade just hugs your leg to calm you down. It works a bit.
“It’s OK Daddy. Maybe if Discord is telling the truth, then maybe they’ll forgive you one day too?” You ignore this shred of hope though, since you’re still a bit peeved.
“You know what, NO! Until I see proof, I’m not believing his lies! I refuse to believe that they actually reformed him! Much as I hate to say it, Erised probably had a better grasp on this idiocy than they did!”
Well don’t just stand there you fool, Get to Ponyville! Selena shouts.
Huh?
He’s most likely toying with us, we can’t trust him. He’s probably waiting for us there. That’s where your proof will be.
Y-You’re right! I’ve got to make sure!
Yes! And then this time Kill Him! Don’t let him free again!
Kind of hard to do that seeing as how I’ve never actually Won against that guy! So hush up! You snark back at the tyrant.
“Come on Nightshade, We gotta go!” you shout as you pick up your daughter and begin galloping, your hooves no longer sore.
“Huh? Where are we going?”
“Congratulations Nightshade, We’re going back to Ponyville after all.”
“YAY!!!” she shouts in happiness and pumps her hoof up into the air.
You gallop as fast as you can. You have to make sure the Deadly 6 aren’t all grey again. You won’t let yourself hope that everything’s Okay, because it can’t be true.
Meanwhile Within The Woods.
Two pairs of Binoculars go down.
“Well there you go you big buffoon, you ensured your past self didn’t cock up the reunion, thus creating a stable loop” comes a grumpy Shetland accent.
“Well I do remember feeling a familiar calming presence that day. My own presence, but I ignored it back then. I only put the significance of it together after bumping into Bugze back in Applewood,” comes the familiar voice of Chaos, only a bit more restrained. “Although, I can’t believe how much of a jerk I used to be.”
“Oh you’ve always been a pain. Even now, I have to take your idiotic self back to a time that my past more popular regeneration has already fixed and protected. I don’t like backtracking!”
“Oh calm down Doc, don’t tell me you aren’t nostalgiac about seeing this Bugze again?” asks the Draconequess as he steps into a familiar blue box.
“No, I don’t like seeing that ignorant look he carries. He has no idea the hardships he still has to face,” comes the older grey haired stallion wearing a black jacket with red interior trim.
“You know, you were a lot funner when you weren’t old and grumpy."
“Shut up!” The Doctor barks as he closes the TARDIS.
Back With You An Hour Later
“OH SWEET LUNA IT’S HORRENDOUS!!!” you shout at the top of your lungs as you crest the hill and clearly see signs of Discord’s chaos. Except…
“Um, Daddy? I don’t see anything,” Nightshade (disguised as an Earth Pony) points out.
And she’s right. Nothing looks out of the ordinary. No upside down houses, or cotton candy clouds. Nothing. Ponyville looks exactly the same as when you left it all those months ago.
“Oh…Oh come on. Really? Discord was telling the truth?” you whimper as everything looks absolutely fine. The weight of being wrong hurts.
“I guess so dad…Well if that’s the case, that means we can visit now that we’re here right?” Nightshade says enthusiastically.
You put your dejected head down and whimper.
“It’s not fair…it’s so not fair.”
“Come on Daddy, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Let’s go see my friends, get some food and have some-“
“FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!”
Nightshade stares slack jawed and her eye twitches, at the scene that just occurred.
“D-Daddy, were those just-“.
“A horde of pink psychos jumping in formation screaming Fun? Yes, yes they were,” you say still in a sad mood, until it dawns on you how weird that actually was.
“Wait, What?!” you look up in alarm and actually pay more attention.
“Oh Sweet Luna They’re Everywhere!”
And that’s no exaggeration, there are Pinkie Pies EVERYWHERE. All of them just bouncing in groups spreading out, heading for every direction in and around the town.
“FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!” a group of them chant as they bounce around you and Nightshade.
While Nightshade still tries to process this mind breaking information, you suddenly feel much better.
“Aha! I knew it!”
You then cry to the heavens,
“DISCORD!!! YOU FILTHY BUCKING LIAR!!!”
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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Again still think it should be called the Non-Lethal Shotgun or NLS for short.
1. DAMN IT PINKIE!
2. Does anyling else think that Nightshade is a bit overpowered? I mean she's already an alicorn filly, but she has super-strength, Toph-level earthbending, AND managed to beat up Discord. At this rate, Nightshade is practically invincible and nothing makes a story more boring like invincibility (with the exception of One Punch Man which works because the entire plot is built around that idea for comedy)
I suggest finding a way to nerf her soon (bonus points if we give her a literal nerf gun and she goes on an adorable shooting spree).
7609289
Hey, it'll be cool if she's literally the only one in Equestria that can fight her dad's most powerful form. All of her friends would look at her in awe.
You think about accusing the army of Pinkies of being changelings, but push back the thought because even the best changelings couldn't mimic Pinkie Pie this accurate. Then you try to go around and ask a couple of ponies if they knew what was going on, but Nightshade kept running off to look for her friends and you, of course, had to follow. As you chased after her you notice that there aren't as many ponies around as you thought... other than then the Army of Pink. But then you see why. More than half of Ponyville is crowded in front of the library shouting angrily, including Fluttershy.
"Luna dammit, Sparkle..." You face hoof at the thought of the one you think is the culprit.
You can't hear well but you see Twilight say something before running back into the library with Spike following after her. The sight of Spike widens your eyes as you look to where Nightshade was standing.
She's not there.
You facehoof and start sprinting towards the library.
You almost get stampeded by the army of Pinkies, but somehow their dozens of hard hooves miss you and Nightshade. You decide to make your way to Ponyville in an effort to find out what on earth is going on.
I think the air shotgun should be called the Blaster (blasts air at opponents).
Ok, so we are not going in complete order here, considering that Discord was reformed at the end of season three and now we are at the beginning of that season....man it has been so long since I have had to think of any real dialog for the Deadly Six.
All the Pinkies jumping around You and Nightshade: "FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!" (and it just keeps on going)
Nightshade: "Daddy, this is making my head hurt."
Bugze: "Ok dear, just hop into the inventory and see if Mangle will play something to help drown them out."
Nightshade: "OK Daddy. Mangle, can you play that Fillymetal album Aqua got me while we were in Applewood?"
You hear Mangle give a yip in conformation as this begins to play from the Inventory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIKqgE4BwAY
Bugze: Well that just happened. Selena, what can we do now since this is obviously Discord's doing?
Selena: "Actually the magic surrounding the Pink annoyances is not Chaotic in nature"
Bugze: Well what do we do?
After a while of walking into town
Bugze: "All of these Pinkies are super annoying. Why can't there be one who isn't acting like a sugar filled Nightshade?"
You come across a Pinkie who looks sad and laying down by the road.
Bugze: "Hey are you ok? Why do you look sad?"
Pinkie: Because I can't tell if I am the real Pinkie anymore.
Bugze: "Huh? what do you mean? How can you not know?"
Pinkie: "Well that is just it. I remember being the only one here this morning. I wanted to be in two places at once, one place to help Applejack raise another barn and the other place to "catch some rays" with Rainbow Dash, but they were scheduled at the same time so I went to the Mirror Pool and made clones of myself so that I could have fun with everypony, but then the clones started making clones and now I can't tell anymore."
Spike and Twilight are walking around town when Spike says:
Spike: "So, lemme guess. You're the real Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie: "Heck if I know. Could be any one of us, if you ask me. And if I said I was the real Pinkie, you wouldn't even believe me anyway. So can you all just leave me alone. I've got some important poking around with my hoof to do."
Twilight: "Well that can't be the real Pinkie Pie. She is way too sad to be."
Bugze: "Well that is just rude. Do you not know your friend well enough to tell when one could be upset. You didn't even bother to ask her what was wrong. You just assumed, and you know what they say about those who assume."
Pinkie: "Well, you could always round up all the Pinkies and make them do something super simple and not fun at all. Then only the real Pinkie Pie would likely try to complete the task because she would not want to be away from her friends."
Twilight: "That is a great idea! Come on Spike, we have to go!"
Spike: "But I'm on your back. I go wherever you go!"
Twilight runs off with Spike on her back.
Bugze: " So you said you remember being the only one this morning right?"
Pinkie: "Yeah."
Bugze: "So do the other clones remember that time?"
Pinkie: "I doubt it. The other Pinkies could not even remember Applejack's name. She called her Applejohn."
Bugze: "So then if you can remember an event from the past, then wouldn't you be the real Pinkie Pie?"
Pinkie: "Well I do remember when Twilight came to Ponyville, Defeating Nightmare Moon, Twilight's brother's wedding, the Changeling Invasion, Appleloosa and the Buffalos, the Hooded Offender, the Crystal Empire returning, and Fluttershy reforming Discord. So does that make me the real one?"
Bugze: "Makes sense to me. I think if we go and talk to your friends, they will understand."
Rainbow Dash comes swooping in and grabs Pinkie, flying of to the Town Hall.
RD: " You are coming with me. We need to get you with all the other Pinkies so we can figure out who the real one is."
Bugze starts to run after them.
Bugze: "Wait! You actually have the real Pinkie Pie!"
"Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!" Shout the Pinkies
"I knew he was a bucking liar" Groaned Bugzee
"Thinking about it, it's your fault" Say Sombra from inside
"Wait... Why is my fault?" Ask Bugzee irritated
"If you let that loony alone, he could distracted Celestia, he was right that she was going to let Discord free after all" Comment Sombra
"Yeah, but if I did let him do his plan, we could have a very dangerous and crazy janitor pony around with his army of loony" Say Bugzee
"That it could be best that a dangerous and crazy god of chaos that say he is reformed but still is not releasing his mind spell" Argued Sombra
"I... Uhhh... Errr..." Bugzee could only articulare as he was not sure anymore about if what he did was good.
"What I can't believe is that both Luna and Celestia let Discord free" Say Selena putting his two coins to the discussion
"Simple, all alicorns except the dark empress are stupid" Answer Sombra as if nothing
"What?" Ask Selena a little angry
"Meh, let's think about it, after all the data I got, I can say that they are very stupid... First Celestia could not find a difference between her niece that she knew from many year and a stupid changelling queen that have a ego the size of Equestria... Celestia also let her sister angry enough to create you, she also used experimental magical items that didn't really know how they worked to send you to the moon instead of, I don't know, try to talk with you, or maybe subdue you... Then she send a librarian, a dressmaker, a farmpony, a pastry chef a veterinarian and a weather pony to a dark pony in the gamble to recover those experimental magical items, instead of going after me and defeat me, something that could be easy, he send the same group, and let's not forget the many times our host saved their lifes because Sunbutt was too lazy to go herself... And the final proof is that she let 'the usurper' free to do the chaos and I'm sure she is going to believe him when he say that he could not find you" Argued Sombra as he conjured a soap box inside his jail and talked.
"Okay, that look bad for Celestia, but what about Luna or Cadence?" Ask Bugzee
"D'uh, Luna let her do everything without resistance, she is weak, mainly a puppet for the games of Celestia, just look at her, she let herself depressed in the holyday of Nightmare Moon that she usurped for herself and the other alicorn is pink, I think that is enough" Answer Sombra making Bugzee and Selena groaned
-------
7609289 the difference is that even if Nightshade have high powers, his daddy is not going to let her fight, so she need to sneak. She is the high powered side character that no one think to ask for help even when that could make the problems easy.
----
Yes, a little bashing of Celestia, but let's think that this is the opinion of Sombrero, and they are angry with her for letting Discord free
Well if we're keeping it, I say we call the Shotgun Ash since we already have a Boomstick.
It should be called: 'The Literal Boomstick' or 'TLB'
7609419 And it would make sense in-universe. Nightshade was dead in the Nightmare-timeline, and Bugze killed pretty much everybody. That means that noone can stand up to him... Besides perhaps Nightshade, because she was dead beforehand there but not here and as such had no chance to fight him there, but could in theory here.
Oh, before I forget, what's with that Usurper thing back there?
What? Sombra asks.
That's what you called Discord when we were fighting him.
That lunatic was known by many titles in my time; The Spirit of Chaos, The Overlord of Mayhem, John de Lancie, Meany-Meany stupidhead. Usurper just happened to be the first one that came to mind due to who my current cellmate was.
As ponies say these days; Kettle calling the cauldron black. Selena scoffs
At least I lived up to that title. Your 'reign' didn't even last one whole night Madame 'I shall bring about eternal nigh-'
"Ok. Night-night." you say jamming your last sedative syringe into your head.
What? Noooooooo- Oooo, so much pink...
"Daddy?" Nightshade says giving you a confused look.
"Just giving Sombrero his medicine. He was getting cranky at your mom."
Are you sure it was wise to use our last needle?
Given how we're gonna run into the Deadly Six eventually, it's better we keep him drugged up before he can try anything. Anyway, how do I roudn up these- *ding*
"I know, I can just herd them all with bees!" you say taking out the Power Glove, "Would you kindly buzz off!"
This causes Electro Bolt to activate instead and you essentially taser one of the Pinkies... causing the rest to flee from you.
"Daddy! Why'd you do that?!" Nightshade exclaims
"That wasn't me, it's the stupid glove!" you exclaim before you yell at your Power Glove, "'Buzz off' means bees, NOT lightning you stupid glove!"
Given the amount of times we've used that device, you should probably take a closer look at it later to make sure it's still functioning properly.
"Dude, I know many stallions have a hoof for a marefreind, but you're taking it too literally." Thunderlane comments passing by.
"Mind your own business you lazy pervert!" you snap.
I think the air shotgun should be named either 'The Windbreaker,' or the 'A.Sh. Gun.'
The air shotgun could be called the Barometric Utilizer for up to Twenty Targets, or the B.U.T.T. Gun for short
=============
As you continue walking forward to investigate this chaos, you notice a line of Pinkies crossing the street, yelling "Fun, fun, fun!" With so many lined up, this makes you remember one of your memories with your granbuggy.
"Granbuggy, why are there so many of those square things moving?"
He slaps you on your back, almost making you fall off your precious perch, down the cliff. "That, mah boi, is called a cargo train."
"Oh, a cargo train."
"Heh, got that right. I'm going to drink this entire bottle of vodka now, don't bother waking me up because I won't." He drains the bottle in one massive swig and promptly falls down, back into his cave.
"It's Tuesday again?"
Nightshade shakes your leg, startling you awake. "Eh, what happened?"
"Daddy, I'm tired of waiting, let's go some other direction past these Pinkies. They just don't stop! I lost track at a thousand."
You whistle. "I was out that long?"
"Nope, they just move really fast... and in a circle." Nightshade's eyes glaze over, possibly from the ambient sugar the Pinkies gave off into the air. "They never stop. Never."
“Reformed my behind! I knew I couldn’t trust you! Show your face coward!” you scream, but noling comes, aside from the group of Pinkies around you, deciding that they’d like to scream to the heavens too.
“GRAAAAGH!!!”
“Stupid Clouds!”
“Stupid Sun!”
“I hate things that aren’t fun!”
“LOUD NOISES!!!”
“I’m Good At Yelling Too!”
You stare confused at the Pink Ponies as the scream, mimicking your mannerisms to a tee.
“Alright, stop that the lot of you!” you yell, causing them to stop and look at you with stupid expecting smiles.
“Now, what the heck did Discord do? Did he clone the original Pinkie? Are you all from Parallel worlds converging at this same point in time? Are you all Pinkie, but she’s got Multiple Mare’s powers from the X-Stallions?”
The group of Pinkies just kind of stare at you blankly, looks of confusion all over their faces.
“Well one of you answer me! Where’s the original Pinkie Pie?”
“I’m the original Pinkie Pie!” calls one in the back, but before you can do anything or question her, another pops up.
“No, I’M the original Pinkie Pie!” followed by another,
“No, I am!”
“No Me!”
“Me Too!”
They then start all talking over each other claiming they’re the original like in that Spartacus movie Grandbuggy showed you when you were 6.
“Um, I really can’t tell if one of these is the Real Pink Psycho or not Daddy,” Nightshade confides from the safety of your back.
“Because they’re probably not. Heck there’s several groups of them still out there.”
You then yell to the mares claiming to be the original, “Alright Shut Up!”
They stop shouting and stare at you.
“It’s clear you’re all lying. Now, WHERE IS DISCORD!!!” you yell shouting in the RCV.
Their poofy manes all fly back, but they all give you confused noises and looks.
“Oh don’t play the innocent act. Your boss Discord, where is he?!”
“We have a boss?” asks one of them.
“No, we only have friends right?”
“Is our boss Butterfly?”
“No, I think it’s Jappleack.”
“Wrong, it’s clearly Light Bright!”
They then proceed to keep arguing with each other over who their boss might be, till you shut them up again, this time switching the mask’s intimidating voice on, and bearing it’s teeth.
“SILENCE!!!”
They all stop and huddle together at that declaration, but you continue.
“Now, no more lies! Where is he?!”
“We don’t know,” one of the Pinkies replies.
“So you’re not some evil diabolical army he’s created from the Pink Psycho?”
They all look at each other before looking back and shaking their heads.
“Then what is your purpose besides giving me a headache?! You growl.
“We just want to have fun,” answers one.
“Yeah, just some fun!”
“I don’t like this guy, he’s not very fun!”
“He’s too scary, and not fun!”
“Let’s go somewhere else to have fun!”
Then, en masse, the group begins bounding away chanting,
“FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!”
“Hey! Get Back Here You Spawns of Tartarus!”
You then chase the group, but their bounding greatly surpasses you. Maybe it has something to do with you walking for the past few days. You eventually do catch sight of some of their misdeeds as you look in on the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres and see an entire building collapse.
“Holy Gacumole! They tore down a barn?!” Nightshade asks in amazement.
“Or half of one,” you say as you use Sight Beyond Sight and view the scene.
You see Big Red, just as massive as before, two other earth ponies you’ve never met, and Applejack the Hick herself. She’s still rocking that hat of hers, and glaring like always, though this time the glare is directed at the herd of Pinkies.
Unzooming your eyes you mutter, “Well this just shows how destructive and chaotic they are. Discord is probably still waiting for the others to put this together.”
“Was Applebloom down there Daddy? They haven’t hurt her have they?”
“No, just her family. And it doesn’t look like they’re really hurting them so much as annoying them and dancing around the fallen barn.”
“Oh that’s good…Wait a minute. If Discord sent all these Pinkies to Applejack, then they might be headed for the others.”
“Oh crud, you’re right!” you yell as you see another herd in the distance.
You chase down that herd and see them surrounding Rainbow Dash near the lake, she has erected a little fortress and is trying to shoo them away with an umbrella.
“You think the Filly Fooler needs help Dad?” Nightshade asks.
“Nah, she can handle herself,” you determine as you see yet another group hopping past, so you chase after them. Soon, you come across a meadow and see
“Hey look it’s Fluttershy,” you say as you see the yellow pegasus with a bear and other animals having a picnic. Seeing as how the Pinkies haven’t gotten to her yet, you run up to her.
No way is everything alright with her. Discord singled her out during his lies, you think as you run fast.
Wait, Bugze, perhaps you should cover your…
“Fluttershy! Where is Discord?! What has he done to you!” you yell causing Fluttershy and the animals to scream bloody murder and cling to each other.
…cover your jaw mask…Selena finishes.
Your eyes widen at this. You forgot to take the mask off intimidation.
You facehoof at this, and are about to apologize, but during your facehoof, they take their chance and skedaddle away from the picnic.
“NO WAIT!” you call out and chase them. “Your brains are all mushed up! I’ll fix them!” you yell.
“Run Faster Harry! He’s yelling about my brains!” she shrieks, causing the bear holding her to run quicker.
“No that’s not what…Grrr., Get Back Here so I can Fix You!”
Harry clearly misunderstands THAT sentence and somehow goes even faster.
“Why is noling listening to me?!”
“Because you sound and look like a psychopath daddy,” Nightshade explains nonchalantly from your back.
“OOH, OOH! What game is this?!” asks a Pinkie next to you.
“Are we chasing the animals?!” asks another running besides you.
“No! I’m trying to help Fluttershy!” you growl.
“Help Butterfly from the animals?! That sounds like Fun!” says the one to your right.
Suddenly several others lend their voices to the chant of Fun as they overtake your running and begin catching up to Fluttershy and her fleeing animal friends.
They begin to chase them all the way back to town, but you need to stop for a breather.
Eventually you are able to capture one, so you separate her from the rest and proceed to interrogate her.
“Now, no more games, and no more fun! Where is he?!” you roar as you hold her up by the neck against a tree.
“Please, stop! You’re hurting me…” the Pinkie gasps in pain as tears stream down her face.
This throws you for a loop and you let her go.
You’ve only seen them as mindless drones, you didn’t know they actually felt anything.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t…”
“This isn’t fun! I want fun!” she yells as she pushes you out of the way, running fast to rejoin the herd of Pink.
Her reaction causes you to rethink your situation.
“OK, they may be simple minded, but they do have thoughts and emotions…Dang it Discord, you made these drones have sentience? How twisted are you?!” you yell to the air.
“And they’re not really hurting anypony also. They’re just being annoying,” Nightshade surmises.
“Ugh! Now we can’t randomly attack them. That’d be the same as going around randomly slapping puppies who just wanted to play…” you think with dismay.
“That’s a horrible image,” Nightshade whines.
Tis, where did that analogy come from?
Yes, who would randomly slap adorable puppies? The Dictator asks in anger.
Let’s just say some of my bullies were kind of psychos…
Eventually you learn that somehow this doesn’t have anything to do with Discord since Twilight is rational when speaking to the town…or maybe that’s what Discord wants you to think.
7609802
Later, as you follow Rainbow Dash taking the sad Pinkie, you see her get dropped into a room at City Hall where all the others are corralled.
You peak in the window, and hear the book worm talking about some kind of test to find the real Pinkie.
“Oh, about time she figured something out.”
“Watching Paint Dry!” she presents as Fluttershy and Tacky McStabFlank push in a large board of wet paint as the Pinkies groan.
“…I stand corrected. How the heck is this going to work?”
“I don’t know, but I kind of wish I had a bucket of popcorn like Spike,” Nightshade says sadly looking at Spike just off stage.
Rolling your eyes, you tell her,
“Don’t think about that right now honey, let’s just see how this turns out…”
A While Later
“Oh Gods this is boring…” Nightshade whines perched on your head.
You think aloud, “I know right? Well, hopefully the real depressed Pinkie will pass this test, if not then…”
Suddenly one of the Pinkies looks up out another window.
“Oh Hey, Look at the Birdy,” she says in an innocent and cheerful voice.
Suddenly, there is a blast of magic and that Pinkie Pie contorts inflates to massive proportions, before dissolving into red mist that shoots out the door.
“WHAT THE BUCK?!!!” both you and Nightshade scream in surprise at what just happened.
Another Pinkie hears and looks at your window.
“Hey look at the cute little filly,” she points out, causing another to look. Both of them suddenly get blasted by magic and the same thing happens to them.
“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” you yell.
“Oh My Gods Daddy! Ms. Twilight is killing them!” shrieks Nightshade with tears in her eyes.
You look to the stage and see Twilight send out another beam of magic at a Pinkie that decided to bounce up and touch the ceiling, and another one who watched her.
“She....She…” you blubber out at a loss for words.
So this is her plan? To cull them all to the least temperamental one? Selena asks in disgust.
Ha ha ha. Good for the Unicorn. Killing what she loves…
“NO, NO!” Nightshade whines as she holds her ears and closes her eyes as more magic blasts are heard.
The strange thing is, none of the other Pinkies run, they just keep staring at the paint, probably too afraid.
Still at a loss for words, the implication pounds into your brain. These clones could feel pain, they could feel fear. They could feel…
SNAP
“Is that a frog crossed with an orange?” asks one of the Pinkies, and as Twilight is about to fire her laser, the front door is kicked open, striking Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and you shout,
“WOULD YOU KINDLY BUCK OFF YOU MURDERER?!!!”
Twilight is suddenly lifted into the air flailing as she hits her head on the ceiling, causing Rarity, Fluttershy and Spike to gasp in surprise. This causes all of the Pinkies, aside from one near the front to look back at you.
“Come on Pinkies! Run while you still can!” you yell.
“Huh?” comes the collective confused statement.
“Are you all daft?! SHE’S GONNA KILL YOU ALL!!!”
There is a silent pause that seems to last for eternity, before they all begin panicking and screaming and running towards you and the entrance, leaving a single Pinkie in the front row who continues to stare at the paint drying.
“No, Stop Them!” cries Twilight, as Rainbow, Fluttershy, AJ, and Rarity start running towards you, but you close the door and shout,
“WOULD YOU KINDLY FREEZE?!” encasing it in ice.
You then turn to the scared Pinkies who ask, “What do we do Mr. Mask Man?”
“Follow me to freedom!” you yell as you begin leading them far away from the City Hall before the Bookworm can sate her bloodlust again.
“FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM!”
"Gah! What am I going to do with all these Pinkies?! Put em in my Inventory?" A few seconds ticks by before you feel like groaning for even giving yourself the idea. It's a bad idea! Even so, it's all you got. With a sigh, you mutter, "Guess I'm Gonna Carry That Weight."
If you're luck, if at all, the Doctor would appear sooner or later to get them off your hooves. Somehow. That honestly depends if your Doctor's Notes delivers the message past the fabric of space-time fast enough. It's not like it's all in real time with a time traveler.
"Please don't mess with my stuff," you whimper.
-/-/-/-
"Are we gonna camp out again Daddy?" Nightshade has already caught on that you're still pretty stubborn on not being in Ponyville if you don't have to.
While it's not much, you decide to compromise a little. "Nope. We're visiting Zecora. I guess you can get some extra lessons with the wooden staff again." Besides, you're still not sure what the deal is with Discord. May as well thoroughly investigate.
Hope this isn't too late! Following up from 7616396
"FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM!"
"Go little Pinkies! Run for your lives! Get to da choppa!" you shout, watching as the mob bounces for their sentient lives. You however stay behind. There's a matter to attend to.
A beam of magic slices through the iced over doors of city hall, presenting the matter herself.
"Quick everypony! Don't let them get away!" Twilight shouts to her friends, who are about to take off and recapture the clones.
"YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!" you blast them all back with your royal Canterlot voice.
"You." Twilight rounds on you with a death glare. In a flash of light she teleports right into your face and jabs a hoof into your chest. "Who in Celestia's name are you, and what in the world were you thinking just now?! You let them all escape! Who knows how much damage they'll do before we catch them again? What if they escape... and we never get the real Pinkie Pie back?"
"Well I know what won't help getting the real Pinkie back." you say calmly. "MURDERING THEM UNTIL THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT! You monster."
Twilight rubs her ear and looks at you strangely. Then she lets out a tiny chuckle. "Oh, it's alright. Those are just clones, magical constructs. I don't know where they came from, but it certainly isn't murder. I'm just hitting them with a counter-spell to deconstruct them and send them back to where they came from, sort of like... returning an extra box of chopped lettuce to the store."
You give her a blank stare. "Did you literally compare ponies to chopped lettuce just now?"
"It does seem kind of harsh when you think about it like that." Fluttershy softly points out, causing the rest of Twilight's friends to give awkward glances.
"Come on girls," Twilight tries to reason with them, sensing their mixed feelings about all this. "They're not real, they're just mindless clones!"
"Oh really?" you argue, "Mindless clones that can think? Mindless clones that can feel pain? Mindless clones that can follow instructions, show interest in things, even almost learn your names?! Those kinds of mindless clones?!"
Twilight shrinks back under your accusing tone.
"Hold on!" Rainbow dashes forward to protect her friend. "They might look like Pinkie Pie, but they're also completely out of control! They'll tear apart the whole town because they think it's fun, unless we stop them somehow."
"Rainbow's right." Applejack steps up, "Those pesky Pinkies knocked over the new barn we were settin' up. Much as I hate to hate anythin' that looks like Pinkie, they're a darn menace!"
"Oh I see what it is now." you say, stroking the mask covering your chin, "A bunch of extra Pinkies showed up out of nowhere, started causing trouble, and before trying anything else... you decide to murder them. So much for the magic of friendship." you roll your eyes.
Each of the mares are about to offer a rebuttal, but the words die in their mouths before they can get the nerve to.
"Sweet Celestia..." Twilight holds her head, "what have I done? What if I accidentally zapped the real Pinkie?!"
"I don't think you have to worry about that!"
You all turn to the sound of Spike's voice. He's standing in the doorway on the town hall, and beckoning you all inside.
Once you all follow him in, you find out why he called you. In the center of the room, still staring at the wall of drying paint, is a single, solitary Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie?" Twilight cautiously approaches her, reaching out a hoof. "Is it really you?" After several seconds with no replay she adds, "You can stop watching the paint dry."
To which the Pinkie turns to her friends and tearfully pounces on them, somehow stretching her limbs around each of them several times to form a gigantic group hug. "I did it girls! I didn't stop watching the paint for anything! I couldn't bear the thought of not being the Pinkie that got to stay with all of you!"
However, as she says this, all of your minds are brought back to another matter...
...
Twilight lights the way for the group with her horn, the tracking spell showing her the way to where the rest of the Pinkies are hiding out. The trail led you all deep into Whitetail Woods, and down into some long-forgotten cave. Pinkie explains that this is where she found the Mirror Pool, and how she made all those clones of herself.
Soon enough you begin to see another source of light, and finally find it, a still, shimmering lake in the middle of the cave. And gathered all around it are the remaining Pinkies. They spot you all and immediately back to the edge of the pool as you approach.
"Don't send us back in there?!" one of the Pinkies throws herself at Twilight's hooves while the others watch, trembling in fear. "We don't even want to have fun anymore... we just want to live!" she begs.
Looking at you one last time, Twilight lifts a hoof and gives the Pinkie Pie a comforting pat on the head. "Don't worry, I won't. We've got something else in mind for you."
A few hours later.
You stand at the Ponyville train station with Twilight and her friends. Waiting for their train beside you are the horde of Pinkies from before, only... now they're not exactly Pinkie Pies. Several of them are wearing articles of clothing like bandannas, hats and scarves that set them apart from the crowd, while others have styles their manes differently, or even dyed their coats. It took quite some time, and will probably a long road yet, but Twilight cast a spell to stabilize their bodies; pretty soon these 'magical constructs' will fully actualize, and become their own ponies.
"Now then, you remember what to do when you get to Canterlot?" Twilight asks the Pinkies.
At once the group replies harmoniously, "Go to the castle, find Princess Celestia, and give her your letter explaining what happened."
Twilight flinches. "And..?"
"And be sure to give her the apology cake."
Twilight wipes a few beads of sweat from her face in relief.
Pretty soon the train arrives to spirit them away. Already their personalities are stating to show differences; some of them are even more excited than ever, while others more relaxed and contained.
"Do you think they'll be alright?" Fluttershy asks.
"Well, if they're anything like the original, ah think they'll be just fine." Applejack says, and they all pull the real Pinkie into another hug.
"Well what about the ones you already killed?" you ask, to which they go stiff and glare at you. "What? I'm just saying, you blasted like three or four before I stopped you."
"Way to kill the mood Bugze... no matter how correct you are."
As for the name of the shotgun, I elect the name Second Law.
Y'know, like Newton's Second Law, because it describes the properties of acceleration in proportion to mass vs. net force...
And the shotgun uses... force to...
Good god I'm such a nerd sometimes.
Still fun to say the name though. SECOND LAW!
Funniest line I've heard in this chapter.
You burst into the Library and see Nightshade hugging Spike. You twitch in overprotectiveness, the Deadly six see you and are on the offencesive. "Would you...Freeze." Everpony stops, you march strait up to Twilight. "I never thought you would stupe so low that you would purposely use your own friend as a guinie pig Spakle.." you move onto Fluttershy giving her a hug "The next time someone comes over to say hi...Don't run away." You go over to Spike taking Nightshade "Whatever is going on here it stops now." You then run out the door leaving a still shocked group of ponies.
At Night
You are dreaming of Nightshade at her birthday party, unknowing to you are greeted by Luna "Thou has been living an interesting life, Offender " You jump in surprise and try to run, but are caught in her magic grasp, "So you finally know" "Yes we were watching the dreams and we came and we found your dreams, and also your memorizes, memorizes don't lie" you sigh "So what now?" "First and formost...I would like to apologize." ...what? "I wish to apologize for my -" she got interrupted when Nightshade and Selena came along "Hey Daddy me and mommy were- she stops as he sees Luna next you, and you see the look in both eyes of Luna and Selena "Buck!" "What is she doing here!"