• Published 1st Aug 2015
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Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 3: Tyrants, Terrorists, and Tiaras, Oh My! - Down with Chrysalis



The continued adventures of you, Bugze the Changeling! (Comment-Driven Story)

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Episode 25: Level 4: WRATH OF THE PUZZLES! (Video Game Arc Part 4)

Opening Theme:

You continue to stare at the red door in pure terror at what lies beyond it. You shudder as you begin to think of all the agonizing, torturous, and horrible puzzles that await ahead. Gulping with reluctance and bracing for the worst, you walk over to the door and open it to see...

Lord Sergal's comment

A large empty room save for a single cabinet in its center. You gain a confused look as you think,

Huh...guess they ran out of money to actually get a puzzle. Might as well get this over with.

With that you make your way over to the cabinet, you see a simple puzzle box atop the stand alongside a note ranting about a nonsense element called 'null' of all things. You hear Sombra sigh before he says,

Nullness...like the ever fleeting chance of freedom...it fills me with despair.

You roll your eyes at this as you think,

Dear Luna you are depressing when you're drugged.

Sombra replies, but you ignore him as you look at the box. It seems simple enough to open after a few moments, and you finally get it open.

"Alright, easy enough, now what's my reward?" you ask aloud as you look inside and see a lens of some kind.

"That's it? A lens? What the heck am I supposed to do with this?"

I say you should wear it...you'd look even better with some class...

"Well I don't know about that, the Monopoly Stallion I am not...but what the hay."

Upon putting the lens up to your eye, you see that it gives the world a bit of a tint, and that there are hoofprint stains on the ground. Taking it on and off shows that they were made with some sort of invisible ink, and that there is a trail.

"Ooo, trippy," you comment as you follow the prints to a corner where a cleverly hidden safe is wedged. The same ink appears around a few numbers.

"Well, looks like trial and error time," you mutter as you begin to crack the safe.

After trying out the numbers in a few different sequences, you finally find the right one as the safe gives a click and opens.
You let out a smile as you open the door further with expectant eyes to see...

"Another puzzle box?! Oh Come on!" you shout as you see this one is far more complex than either the first box or the safe. You cry internally as you prepare for the worst.


MANY BOXS LATER


"OH SWEET LUNA FINALLY!"

You begin to cry tears of joy as a new red door appears behind you as you solve the final box puzzle. You quickly gallop into the door and enter the next room. Sadly your joy is sucked out of your body when you realize that you are in yet another puzzle room. In this room you see...

BrownDog's Comment

A table with a lamp on it, under the lit table is a Crossword with a pen next to it.

"Umm..." you then look up and see the next puzzle challenge not 15 yards away waiting for you through the open door. There is nothing blocking you from advancing.

"Do I...do I have to do this one?" you ask aloud. Noling answers so you just shrug your shoulders and walk past the table to the next one.

"Well that was surprisingly easy...who the heck thought this was a good idea?"

Inside Your Second Saddle Bags

The bound Changeling Snorts in his sleep and rolls over, nerves getting to him even in sleep as someone talks bad about him.

Back Outside

You curse yourself for thinking that this would be a cakewalk since in the next room you see...

Kichi's Comment

A control panel with several glowing lights, 3 switches, and a tube with water in it. It's wires lead to an exit door that has a switch glowing red, indicating it's locked.

"Oh what fresh hell is this?" you whimper as you walk up to it and study it more closely. Along the top near the water tube is a bright green row with chart blocks representing wavelengths. Below it, the three other rows show fragments that can be scrolled through.

"Oh Luna...there are so many combinations..." you sob as you begin to scroll through them.

LATER

After a while of scrolling through different combos and failing, you think you finally have it figured out.

"So... This goes here, and that there and... check." You press the buttons but all you get is a red light, signifying failure once again.

"GAAAAAHHHH!!!!, I hate Puzzles!!!" you shout tearing at your hat. After you are done hyperventalating, you look back at the panel, towering above you as if mocking you. "Ugh, where's Grandbuggy when you need him? He always helped me on these..." you reminisce before sticking your head into your inventory.

"Hey, Hey baby, you wanna help your old man solve a puzzle?" you say as you prod your sleeping daughter.

"zzzz...put that cookie down....zzz" she mumbles out like a light.

"Oh sure, the moment I actually want you to come out, and you're sleeping. Typical," you grumble as you take your head out and massage your brain.

"Grrr, there has to be something I'm missing...but what?"


The answer...is quite obvious... Go left five times on A, Two to the right on B, and leave C right where it is...
Sombra suddenly says.

You roll your eyes at the innebriated tyrant, but you do as he suggests, having really no other alternative. You then press the buttons and...The door on the other side of the room lights up green and clicks open.

Your jaw drops at the progress as you ask,

"Wait... How did you know that?"

D'uh...I am a master of puzzles...and of crystals...stupid Celestia...he trails off into his drugged zone to which you just roll your eyes.

He's not wrong...she is pretty stupid

Well that's a given, but he just solved that puzzle easily while his mind was moosh, imagine if you two weren't stoned to high heaven? We'd probably already be through this dang challenge.

Still grumbling to yourself, you walk through the door and see a table with a children's card game set up.

"Hey, It's a Po-Ny-Oh puzzle," you say as you walk over and sit down. Where your opponent should be, there are cards laid out with monsters on them. You then pick up your deck and look through it. "Let's see... I have those cards in hand, this is the field and I need to win in this turn..." you mutter before nonchalantly putting down a card that has a picture of a three headed blue dragon with white eyes. "And done. Okay, next puzzle!" you say as you stand up, the exit door revealing itself.

As you walk through, you see yet another puzzle room and inside is a box of a 5,000 piece puzzle that's a portrait of a smiling Celestia. The thing is, the floor is completely white, and there are pieces scattered everywhere.


Your eye begins to twitch at this as you scream up to the air,

"Buck You Kichiii!!!"


An Immense Amount of Suffering Later

You finally, FINALLY, put the last piece in place of that smug smiling immortal strumpet, and the door unlocks. It would have been sooner, if only there hadn't of been about 10 extra pieces that were thrown in that didn't go anywhere.

"I swear to Luna Kichi, when I get to you, I am going to shove these extra pieces down your bucking throat!" you snarl as you push open the door...And you shouldn't be surprised by what you see on the other side.

"Buck my life..."

And indeed it seems someone is bucking with your life, as you endure wave after wave of puzzles.


Puzzle Room 15

The hardest puzzle that I've ever encountered was my life the Rubix Cube, maybe Bugze should face the face the mother of all rubix cubes

"OH COME ON! Who even makes these monstrosities this big?!" you shout as you attempt to lift and turn the big bulky cube.


Puzzle Room 27

The most annoying puzzle i can remember right now is Finding Nemo's endgame puzzle on the gamecube. holy crap that took weeks.

"Just swim through the bucking net holes you stupid fish!!!" you yell at an aquarium, as you try to coax a clown fish through a bullspit obstacle course, but he keeps getting injured and swimming back to the start.


Puzzle Room 44

And the most difficult puzzles I've ever run into are Slide Puzzles, EVERY FREAKING SLIDE PUZZLE IN ANY GAME!

"BUCKING SLIDE PUZZLES!!! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!! you scream as you try to form a picture by sliding the squares.



Puzzle Room 45

Runescape Celtic knots. Commonly found in the way of epic lewt. You have to make all the overlapping runes match up. With they online solver they take a minute. Without it, but knowing the trick it takes an hour. Without either it takes at least five hours.

"THIS ISN'T MUCH BETTER THAN A SLIDE PUZZLE!!!" you yell holding up the loot box above your head.


Puzzle Room 53

the number one puzzle I hated in a game was the Nordic puzzle in geirmunds hall. what was frustrating about is not that the answer was hard to find, it was that the answer was not exact on what pillar it represented.

"How the buck was I supposed to know that the Snake pillar was there?! THE TWO WHALES WEREN'T CLEAR!!!"



Puzzle Room 66

Most infuriating puzzle eh?
Professor Layton and the Curious Village- Puzzle 100 The Seven Squares
Had to eventually look this one up online (and felt bad about it too). Before you ask, it was a required puzzle to advance in the game and made me want to slam my head into something.

"BUCK SQUARES!!! SQUARES AND SQUARE BIPRODUCTS ARE OFFICIALLY THE DEVIL!!!"


Puzzle Room 79

test chamber 18 from portal

"WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON?! WHAT ARE THESE HOLES?! WHAT'S WITH THE TIMERS?! BUCKING LASERS! BUCKING LASERS! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

For some reason, I want cake right now...


Puzzle Room ???

BrownDog's Comment

You finish pushing two statues onto certain plates on the floor which releases a ruby which you put into an empty necklace which drops a key for the next room.

"Alright, I swear to Luna, if this is not the reward room, I am going to flip my..." you open the door and see yet another puzzle. In the room are wooden dummies spread across the room, each one holding an unlit torch.

"GORRAMN MOTHER BUCKING BULLSPIT!!!" you scream pulling down on the edges of your hat.

"GRRRR...how long have I been in here?" you ask. As you say that, a clock descends from the ceiling, showing that it's 4:00 AM. You stare at the clock for a good three solid minute before...

Get so frustrated with the puzzles that you go "BUCK IT!!!" and start smashing stuff with the Boomstick

"WWWWHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTT???!!! I only have 2 hours left?! BUCK IT ALL! Would You Kindly Burn?!!!!" you shout in your anger and make a sweeping wave of fire which lights all the torches. This serves to open the door...but in the process, the walls of the puzzle maze catche fire and burn down.

This serene, wonderful sight serves to calm you down a bit.

"Oh glorious wonderful fire, you always know what to do to make me feel better," you sigh as you watch the beauty of pyromania burn at Kichi's Bullspit Puzzle maze.

You know Bugze, it's at times like this that I can truly understand and appreciate your tastes in the inferno... Selena says, sounding awed and wide eyed.

Fire burns a cleansing flame...from it comes smoke and ash...the true essence of the universe...

"Yeah...fire is pretty..." you dopily say. As you do, something even more glorious happens, the walls collapse and you see a shortcut that leads right to a banner which says...

Key 2

"BUCK YA! Once Again Arson Solves All Problems!!!" you whoop as you rush through to your goal.


MEANWHILE

Kichi is facehooving yet again.

"Why? Why weren't the walls fireproof? We had fire puzzles in there! And he wasn't supposed to reach the end already! Ugh! That's what I get for contracting forsaken children into my fold..."


BACK WITH YOU

You finally come across the 2nd key! It's sitting on a pedestal and it's handle looks like a jigsaw piece. Like the last key this one has a string on it. You grin wildly as you pick it up and put it around you neck. With that done you nod your head in approval before heading back the way you came, albeit a bit quicker do to glorious fire shortcuts.


As you reach the entrance to this Gods Forsaken maze, you look back as it lovingly burns.

The Pony Spartan's Comment

That was fun! Selena chirps.

Yes yes, much!

You roll your eyes before a smile comes across your masked lips.

"Hey. Kichi!" you yell to the ceiling

"What?" You hear over the speakers.

"I already beat this challenge, so do you mind if I destroy the rest of it since a part of it is already on fire? It's not cheating and it'll make me not burn you as much later..."

"Well... technically it's not cheating but it was very expensive-"

*Click*

You slide the Power Glove on.

"Uhh... what are you doing?" Kichi asks nervously.

You ignore him as you point it to all the puzzles.

"W-Wait-"

"Would you kindly BURN BURN BURN!"

On the last shout of burn, your left eye widens and glows bright red, making black flames appear within your regular flames.

ONE FIRE CLEANSING LATER

You walk out of the even more on fire room holding your left eye in pain as you ask yourself,

"Why does it hurt so much?"

You get no answer of course, but you still trudge towards the final challenge... hopefully.

As you crawl out of the Puppet Box, you don't notice as your arson rage begins to spread from the maze...


SOMETIME LATER

After searching around the diner for awhile, and surprisingly not running into any of the animatronics, (Although you swear you keep seeing some large pink and white figure darting around the corners) you finally found the final challenge door, which was in the kitchen of all areas.

"Heh, figures the one room without a camera would have the final door."

The door itself is red and metal, with prison like bars on the window with the words DEAD END printed on the front. Above the door is a banner with the words 'Final Challenge" on it. Grinning you open the door and head on in.

The room is full of survival equipment and supplies that look like they're for the apocalypse. On the walls are countless sentences talking about how there is no cure. You gain a look of confusion and are about to ask about where's the challenge when you hear,

"Ahem."

Your eyes widen in surprise as you turn around and see...

*Spurt*
"Samus!"

The spandex wearing griffon (who the heck gave her back that distracting clothing?) Is indeed behind you, and she is currently glaring at you. She continues to glare at you as you wipe your nose before she says,

"Yes, me. Congratulations on making it to the final challenge, and about time you got here. Been waiting forever for you to show up."

You just continue to stare at her in shock, to which she just sighs and says,

"Okay bub, here's the low down. I don't like you...at all. Because of you and your little seapony busting my crew and making me give out information, I got into big trouble with the boss. So now I'm being punished by having to help you do the final challenge."

You snap out of your shocked state and gain a confused look as you ask,

"Why is helping me a punishment?"

She sighs again before she says,

"Because now I'm stuck being the final challenge. The challenge is that you have to get me from this room to the marked location on the map without me losing all my health."

She points to a map behind her as she says this. You gain a even more confused look as you ask,

"Uh...you do know that we're not in a real video game right? Health doesn't just disappear like that."

The griffon gives a annoyed sigh before she says,

"I know that idiot. By health I meant this collar," she points to a glowing green collar on her neck as she says this, "Each time I take a hit it starts to turn yellow, then red, then it stops glowing. If it stops glowing I die and you fail the challenge."

You nod your head at this as you say,

"Oh! Now I get i-WAIT WHAT!"

Your eyes widen in surprise as you shout,

"DIE! You'll die if I fail?!"

The griffon gives another annoyed sigh before she says,

"No you idiot! Well...at least I don't think I will. The boss wasn't very clear when he explained all this to me. But I'm sure I'll be fine..." she trails off and chuckles nervously gripping at the collar.

You calm down slightly from this before you ask,

"So what can cause you to lose health?"

Samus gains a smug look before she says,

"Why, zombies of course!"

You nod your head again at this before you say,

"Right, zombies. I can handle tha-WHAT!"

Suddenly you hear this, and you can't stop the sense of dread growing in your stomach.

"Bucking Zombies Again? Really?" you moan remembering your little venture through Sunny Town.

What Do You Do?

Outro:

Author's Note:

Looks like it's reluctant team-up time!

Hey Hive Mind, DWC here!

As you can probably tell, the next and final challenge is a Left 4 Dead style get from point A to point B thing. Now just to make this clear their not actual zombies, just mafia members/Knight members in fancy make-up. Probably didn't need to say that, but just in case and all that. So only knock outs and crippling injuries!

I would like to give my wonderful editor/co-writer BrownDog full credit for most of the puzzle scenes involving last chapters question answers in today's chapter. He deserves full credit for them!

As you all read, the answers for yesterdays question are in the fic, so yeah...

Today's chapter question is...

What is the best zombie game?

There's plenty of them, but which ones the best? You decide!

This is DWC, signing out!

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