Episode 77: Semi-Awakenings
Intro:
Fireheart1945’s Comment
“N-No you didn’t Daddy,” Nightshade responds as Bugze’s face still looks impassive.
“Trixie’s Dead Nightshade. I caused that. I broke my promise…just like I always do. I should be the one who’s”
“Bugze!” you interrupt his thoughts. “That’s not true. Sombra overloaded your mind with guilt. You were locked into shock. These thoughts aren’t your own.”
His eyes blink, and shift downwards.
“But they are…they are my thoughts. That guilt is all mine. I make everything worse, and folks either get hurt or die around me.”
Nightshade looks unnerved as she looks to you and back to Bugze.
“But Daddy, you’re still the good guy.”
“No I’m not,” he then looks at you, really looks at you. “She apologized. She wanted forgiveness for her wrongs, she wanted to make things right…and I shot her down.” He begins to tear up at this as you stare at him agape. “I forgave you Selena, for the truths you confessed to me. I forgave you without a second thought…”
“Truth’s?” Nightshade asks curiously, but you look at her and shake your head. You do not want to have THAT conversation at this point in time.
Bugze then looks back down to his bear.
“I forgave you, I forgave the Elements, By Tartarus, I even forgave Princess Luna…But Why? Why didn’t I forgive her?”
“I…” you start, but you can’t really answer him. You know not the answer.
He then looks to Nightshade again.
“It’s all my fault that Trixie’s dead…I murdered her…” he declares as his tears become thicker.
You look at the scene in trepidation.
He’s talking, but his anguish still remains.
Nightshade puts her hoof on his shoulder and starts patting it.
MasterofShadow’s Comment
Kichi’s Comment
“Daddy, don’t cry. Please?” her words don’t stop his tears. She bites her lip, before a look of concentration comes across her features. “Look, if it were really your fault, wouldn’t Pinkie Pie have already hunted you down and baked you into bug shaped, moon flavored cupcakes?”
You give Nightshade a disturbed look as Bugze shudders a bit.
“Where in the world did that come from young lady? He did not Pinkie Promise anything about…her” you ask, not daring to say the showmare’s name.
“No, but Daddy Pinkie Promised that he wouldn’t lose control and kill again a long time ago right? So since the Pink menace hasn’t gotten him yet, it must mean it wasn’t his fault,” she rationalizes.
Technically what she says is true, but that’s not how Bugze feels.
“It is my fault. I drove her to that point. Even if I didn’t physically stab her, it’s because of me that she did it. I snuffed out what little hope she had…” he bemoans as he hugs the bear tighter.
“But Dad…” Nightshade starts with a sad look.
“If Pinkie can’t understand that…then she’s an idiot. Just existing hurts everyling around me.”
“That’s not true Bugze. Mine and Nightshade’s life are much brighter thanks to-"
“Don’t lie to me, I’ve only brought heartache to you two,” he blurts before he takes a shuddering breath and continues.
GreyRebl’s Comment
“Nothings changed.” It is a hoarse and empty reply, the tone reserved for one who has cried for hours on end. You and Nightshade wait with baited breath as Bugze struggles to put everything to words.
“I still can’t keep a promise, Nightshade. I can’t.” With eyes shut tight, he whimpers on. “Wherever I go, death just follows. Flag, maybe even those changelings from my own hive...and now...Trixie.”
You notice that he caught his tongue. Still within the pits of despair, he knows not to speak of the Otherworld to her. He presses forward with his thoughts,
“I promised way back when to protect. I promised to Luna that I’d do better. To not kill again. To not hurt those around me. I promised. I promised, promised, promised but I break them every time!”
“Bugze,” you softly intervene, putting a hoof on top of his. “But you’ve changed. You’re doing better. You-”
“Nothing's changed!” he suddenly shouts, startling the both of you as he tears his hoof away. “No matter how much I try to set things right, I make things worse. I can have all the power in the world, but still be stupid enough to dig someone else’ pit.”
“You know that isn't true. Don't blame yourself for your outrageous fortune!” you declare, upset at just how upset he is.
His eyes dull once more. “...but can I keep blaming everything I do on Lady Luck? Some responsible changeling I am.” His shoulders slump as he says weakly, “Do you know what’s worst of all?” You and Nightshade don’t answer him.
“I’m still angry,” he declares, though there isn’t an ounce of rage in his voice. “Despite Trixie being dead now, I blame her for what I feel. Even now, I wonder if I can forgive her,” He lowers head in shame. “I’m a monster. Waiting for another victim to put the blame for his troubles. Just like-” he chokes.
You wince at this. You know who he’s speaking of.
Just like The Nightmare, with rage without end, down to the very last life. But no. He will never become that. As long as you live, Bugze will never become that.
“Bugze,I will still be here with you despite what you feel,” you admit to him, for despite everything, you know where your Loyalty lies.
“No matter which way the Winds of Change blows, the fire just keeps on burning brighter, burning away whatever good there is. The world is better off if I’m put out,” he declares, making Nightshade gasp.
“Bugze!” you reprimand for saying that in front of Nightshade.
He rears back, curling up like a child and turning away. Like the child all those years ago hounded by bullies.
“No wait, I-I didn’t mean…” You immediately shut your mouth as your own guilt comes to the forefront. The silence weighs on you all, painfully suffocating whatever positivity there is left. The dreamscape’s air is dry and bare. It is like a prison. Nightshade looks unsure on how to act. Seeing Bugze like this has really gotten to her.
Softly, this time, you soothingly call his name,
“Bugze. You’re not a monster.”
Determined, you reach for his hoof once more.
He flinches. And that hurts you more than when you were struck by the Elements of Harmony.
“N-no. Don’t. I don't deserve-” The changeling pathetically tries to pull away, but you hold firm.
“Monsters don’t feel guilt, and you’re not one, Bugze. You can never possi-you will not be one!” you say in determination.
“Monsters don’t try to work endlessly to become a better person and make things right. You suffered too much, too much cruelty to-to be anything but. You taught me that…”
His eyes do flicker in recognition, and you hope he remembers your talk.
“I…I did…But I’m-“
“Monsters don't bring joy to others. You’re such a funny bug, you know that? You’re always brighten my day when you make me Laugh” you admit, and despite yourself, you chuckle. “When we first met, I would never have entertained the notion of laughing with you, but you changed that.”
He still does not look back to you, so you continue with your speech.
“You brought down the Crimson Knights. You brought safety and security to those around you. You changed Aqua’s life and-” you stop, breathing as you draw yourself closer, a wing bringing a wash of softness over your changeling. “And you’ve changed mine and Nightshade’s life for the better. Tell me I do not speak the truth?” He doesn’t answer you, because how could he? Everything you just said was the Honest truth.
“In the end, you always strive to improve, because you can feel that guilt. You feel Bugze, That’s what matters through the good and the bad. You feel. How can someone who brought so much good be a monster?” You look into his hollow eyes with warmth, hope, and Kindness.
Bugze’s eyes widen and he looks back at you, a hint of that Hope returned. At first, you think you got through to him, but then he recites words. Words that he said to Trixie during her final moments.
“But It’s Far Too Late To Be Forgiven,” he recalls softly in horror. Tears, bitter and cold, immediately rolls down his face, so seemingly unending that he might cry blood.
“No, no. No. Bugze, please.” Your eyes turn watery as well, threatening to spill as you pull his head into his chest as he sobs. “It isn't your fault. You still have so many chances I’m willing to give.” And you’ll Generously do so again and again if it means bringing him from the depths of despair.
“I won’t let you fall. I promise,” you whisper to him.
POV Change: Nightshade
You watch as Daddy cries into Mommy’s chest. She strokes his hair and holds him as he does so. You can’t help but feel helpless in the whole situation.
Mommy brought you here to get him out of his funk, and though he started talking, he still feels down.
He feels like a monster, just like Sombra does…you think in melancholy.
It’s been a week, Only a week that your mom has tried to help him recover from his trauma. You’ve only had this day to help.
Tomorrow, you all must move on, with or without his will intact.
Letting out a sigh, you think
Just how much more can we take? What can fix this? A miracle? Knowing Lady Luck, to hope for one is moot.
But...maybe there already is.
In the end, it’s ironic. That your mother, the Spirit of Nightmares, is expressing more Harmony to this ‘monster’ than the actual Bearers themselves. That’s Magical in and of itself. And maybe. Just maybe...that’s miracle enough.
And so, creasing your forehead into a determined expression, you decide to seize that miracle as well.
You put your arms around Daddy’s back as you snuggle him with your snout.
“We love you daddy. We’ll never let you go…”
And that’s how the three of you stay. Hours in the real world, perhaps a millennia in the mindscape. Your little family embraces, trying to mend it’s broken member.
ELSEWHERE: Within The Week of Recovery
After hours, the Crimson Knights speak to one another as they discuss recent events. Changer sits in his cell in his own personal thoughts.
ThePonySpartan’s Comment
It all makes sense now. Where his magnificent powers come from. After all, a normal Changeling shouldn't come close to being as powerful as an alicorn. Then again, there's me since I have more than one level in the equation genetic wise, but even with my magic I’m still not on his scale.
He then looks up in thought.
But now there's more questions. Why does the Offender seem to have two personalities unlike Luna? And how did Nightmare Moon get to The Offender in the first place? What is their end goal? There's something missing here, something important. The Offender doesn't seem evil to me, just out of control. And that's the confusing part.
“What do you think Spartan?” comes the voice of the Wyvern, knocking Changer out of his thoughts. He grits his teeth at the nickname and responds,
“What?”
“What were you sleeping or something? I asked what do you think of my theory?”
Oh right, his grand conspiracy theory, Changer thinks with a roll of the eyes.
“You’re nuts,” Changer snarks.
TheRutherford’s Comment
“Yeah, gotta agree with the half breed, you sound like you need tin foil on your head,” Solarkness adds.
“I mean it is kind of strange when you think about it, but I still stand by what I said. I think my respect for the Offender has gone up,” the Wyvern responds.
“Oh of course, because when I hear we’ve been following a dark goddess, my first reaction is also that her meat puppet is a respectable guy,” Grey Rebl rolls his eyes.
“What happened Ruth? You get some Kool Aid the rest of us didn’t?” Snap Drake jokes.
“Now hear me out guys. All we know is that this guy gets his power from Nightmare Moon right? But power or not, if you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re going to fail.”
“Case in point, all of us,” Silver nods.
“Exactly. Now think about this. This Changeling…still weird to say that outloud,”
“Speciest,” Kichi jokes.
“Oh shove it. But anyway, The Offender, he gets this power right? But he himself must be a skilled fighter, because if you haven’t noticed, there’s no eternal night. I think that must mean he’s been using Nightmare Moon’s power for himself, and that would take a lot of control. He probably knows he’s got a monster, but keeps her under lock and key.”
“Yeah, or she’s being a manipulative mare and making him think he’s in control, just like every female ever,” Brown Dog chuckles.
“EXCUSE ME?” Candy declares in outrage.
“Speaking from personal experience lady, no offense,” he chuckles again.
“Your opinion of females aside, I’d like to think my idea holds some merit,” Rutherford pipes up.
“Well it’s a moot point, because there’s no way we can know for sure. And either way, we’d still be worshiping the ideals of a dark goddess, which doesn’t look good on our resumes,” Solarkness groans.
They all then get quiet again as they mull things over. Eventually, Kichi speaks up again.
Kichi’s Comment
“Say, you guys remember that Dark Offender comic book?”
“The one that none of us could figure out who was writing? Asks Snap Drake.
“I’m a huge fan of it,” Brown Dog barks.
"Yes, that one,” the changeling responds.
“What about it?” asks Solarkness.
“Well, aren’t you guys curious? I mean, it did give some interesting info, and we couldn’t find the writer, and not even the publishers knew anything. For all we know the Offender was writing it himself.”
They are all silent as this thought permeates the air.
“OK, Is this how I sound with my theories? Because if so, I apologize guys,” Rutherford says as everyone starts laughing.
“Oh bite me,” Kichi mumbles.
As everyone laughs at the changeling’s expense, one of their members stirs for the first time in months.
GreyRebl’s Comment
Dark, damp and dirty. That’s the first impression Erised has when he murmurs into consciousness. Noise, ceaseless chatter and laughter bursts to and fro as he groggily opens his burning eyes, throat coarse as a rock and lips dry as dust.
“Ugh…”
By his groaning, the noise directly beside him lightens slightly, as though a person left a conversation. Ears flickering to life, he lifts his head to see where his is. Except he can’t. Scanning his own blood, he realizes how close to death he is even with the medical equipment around him supporting his vitals.
His groaning turns into a subdued growl as memories from what happened at the Asylum seeps into his mind like cold air on bare skin.
“Of course,” he speaks aloud as he gives up moving, and simply lie on his bed.
“Erised the Ink Moth: One of the most fearsome changelings of his hive with a terrifying ability now weak and helpless to the mercies of others,” He groans with a scowl. “I’m supposed to be dead...pathetic.”
“Yep. You sure are a sorry sight,” says a voice, “and it makes me feel unclean.”
Erised’s eyes narrow imperceptibly.
“You.”
“Me,” Grey replies from only a cell away. “You know, when you followed my advice and offed yourself, I was kinda happy. I had hoped you’d stay dead.”
At this point, the cells of the Crimson Knights turns silent, and only Grey Rebl and Erised are talking now.
With a throaty huff, Erised rolls his eyes.
“I hear that you aren’t beaten enough to stop you from being as insufferable as always.” He then smirks arrogantly. “Perhaps I should’ve pushed your body more. Maybe then you would be properly put down.”
“And I see you still think you’re in the position to be threatening,” Grey growls back.
“And that somehow makes a rabid dog, like you, higher in authority than me?”
“This again?” Grey snorts. “With the organization disbanded, and the facility turned over to the authorities, it’s not like I will keep taking your bullspit, you slimy buck.”
At that, Erised’s eyes widen, his glowing red irises faintly visible in the dark.
“Disbanded?” Then, his eyelids suddenly feel heavy. “So it’s really over…”
“...yeah,” Grey replies after a pause, “and so my dream of cleaning the world of filth shall remain a dream. Now I’m surrounded by floors that I can’t clean myself. Bucking great.”
“Hmm.” A pause comes between them, but the changeling resumes his streak on the foul-mouthed Earth pony. “Still useless without me, I see,” Erised says in amusement
Snickers resound amongst the others.
“Grrr! Up your’s too flankhole! Why don’t you just go back to sleep?”
At this, the withered changeling just chuckles and mutters,
“Too easy.” However, his voice darkens once again. “Although I must ask; how come you recovered before me? I know for sure that the Bounty Hunter dealt enough damage to mangle your body into a coma.”
Grey sneers from within his cell.
“Tch. I guess I have your meddling to thank. Your ink blood kept me from bleeding out too much. After you dumped a stupid amount on me, I had to use the facility’s plasmids and vigors to endure it. I recovered well enough. But there was still ample traces left, so I had to deal with the agonizing aches and spasms for months. The royal guard didn’t bother to help. So yeah, buck you, I still don’t owe you anything.”
Before the Ink Moth can respond to this, a chuckle interrupts their conversation.
“Don’t be such a tsundere, Grey. Crazy, bloodthirsty, and obsessive...you guys are just meant for each other!” Brown Dog, in all his goofy glory, sounded with all the grace of a unicycle getting in between a motorcycle race.
“What the…?” Erised starts.
“Motherbucking what gave you the weird idea?!” Grey sputters taken aback.
To Grey’s bitter annoyance, others joins along the teasing.
Snickering, Solarkness says,
“Gotta give you SOMETHING that makes you special…besides being a massive clean freak, of course.”
“And being a boring Earth pony,” Kichi interjects.
Rutherford then adds, “And the silly braces.”
The final line triggers the almighty janitor.
“Leave the braces out of this; I like my teeth orderly and straight!” he explodes.
“See? Obsessive,” Kichi says adamantly.
Grey isn’t alone in his irritation, though.
“Ugh,” Erised groans, feeling a migraine worthy enough to shatter steel. “And here I thought I could continue to ignore your existences.”
Brown Dog laughs at his misfortune.
“Aww! It’s not like we can interrupt your sweet reunion. When’s the wedding?”
“Gorram it, Dog! Go off yourself!” Grey seethingly glares at him.
"That's a very poor choice of words Grey," Brown Dog howls in laughter as all the others do to.
Taking a moment to think, Grey Rebl realizes the innuendo and groans.
“Oh come on,“ Snape Drake interjects gingerly, “Erised will feel neglected if you give my buddy that much attention.”
Erised hisses, “Don’t involve me in this!” However, he is aptly ignored as the conversation continues. He sighs throatedly. “I’m surrounded by fools and ignoramuses,” he concludes.
To this, Changer just shrugs and declares,
“Meh. You get used to it. Could be worse, actually. Even though Grey Rebl might want to kill them, we all just start a song together and he’ll let it go and join in. Worked on me.”
The edgy changeling blinks, bewildered by the image of the foul-mouthed earth pony singing like a child.
“Songs? Together? You can’t be serious,” he replies, disgusted. Although, something is nagging at him. Why does that voice sound familiar?
“Hey,” Changer speaks tersely, “Whether you like it or not, we are stuck with each other, bored and crazy.”
The Ink Moth rolls his eyes.
“Insanity and boredom…what I’d do for some blood. Mine and someone else’s” He sneers, cold and murderous despite his sorry state, his eyes sharply glowing red. “But who are you? I don’t recall trash being able to speak at the same level as a General.” He growls trying to to make it clear: the unworthy should stay out of his way and never bother him.
There is an expected pause, but to Erised’s surprise, the voice doesn’t cave
“Ah, yes. This is our first time speaking ever since THAT day… It’s me. Changer.”
“Who? I don’t recall anyone by that name,” Erised says aloud deep in thought.
“Oh for Celestia’s…You know…Spartan?”
Erised’s eyes lose their murderous glow and widen.
“Spartan? Is that really you?!”
He sighs and grumbles,
“Yes, even if nopony remembers my gorramned name…”
“You were dead…” Erised’s eyes narrow again.
“Was. But I’m back.”
“Heck ya he is,” Brown Dog interrupts. “At first it was out of blind Anime-Ninjaesque levels of blind rage.”
Rolling his eyes he responds,
“Thank you Brown…But yes, now I am here just because.”
“...You changed. You’re not as naive, cowardly and pathetic as you once were.”
“Hey, any guy that can chug Jack Spaniels is anything but a coward,” Snap Drake pipes in.
“He’s still a filthy traitor though!” Kichi groans.
“Oh just let it go, we’ve all stabbed one another in the back at this point,” Solarkness chides.
“Speak for yourself Wolfy,” Grey grumbles.
*Grrrrrowl*
"Could somepony change Kersey's bucking feed bag! His stomach hasn't shut up for hours!" yells out Silver.
"That or just unplug him altogether! That would be nice!" Candy laughs.
Several murmurs of agreements meet that statement.
“Right…” Erised drones as he tries to get back on topic. “But anyway, Revenge was it?”
“Anime-Ninjaesque!” Brown Dog shouts, but Erised ignores him.
“I see. I can certainly guess how and why. Hatred certainly made you strong.” He sounds proud of him.
Changer huffs at this.
“Didn't we all change? You and Grey are a bit saner now. Still got issues, though.”
Erised chuckles darkly, a dry smile creeping up his worn face.
“Do you think so? Must be the blood loss.”
“Yeah...Ever since the Crimson Vengeance put all of us into this jail, it’s a twisted sense of friendship. Then again, this is the first in a very long time we gathered like this. Just like old times, in fact,” Rutherford muses.
“Mmmh,” Erised hums in thought, listening in on at the...oddly familiar scene; This banter, this ceaseless tomfoolery, and all the other undisciplined acts he despises. “Yes...interesting. Just like during the formation of this ‘fanclub’”
“Oh, yeah. By the way, we are cultists now,” Brown Dog laughs.
“...what?”
And so the, jail of the former Crimson Knight Generals is alive with insanity once more.
Meanwhile, Kersey’s heart monitor continues to beep, muted by the activity all around.
Everything is changing, for better and for worse.
Back to the Bunker: The Morning After Bringing Nightshade In.
POV Change: Selena
You rouse Nightshade from her slumber early in the morning
“Uh? What is it mom? Why are we up so early?” she asks.
“It’s time for us to move on honey. We only have a day’s worth of rations left.”
“Oh alright. Where are we heading?” she asks.
“Where we originally intended, your father's favorite town.”
Her eyebrows raise at that,
“We’re going back to Appleloosa? Already?”
You nod your head.
“Yes, perhaps the familiarity and nostalgia of the town and it’s citizens will help with his mental stability.”
She smiles at that.
“Alright, let me get my bags,” she says as she hops off the bed. As you watch her assemble her gear you let out a small smile yourself.
Did you hear that Bugze? We’re finally going home.
Only silence greets you.
Doesn’t that make you excited? You keep pushing.
Again he doesn’t speak, but you hear a sigh, which is progress.
We’ll see all your old friends like Braeburn and the Buffalo chieftain’s daughter.
That… he starts causing you to perk up. That sounds…alright…
You smile. It’s not much in the way of enthusiasm, but it’s a far cry better than what he was. For all that time you and Nightshade held him in the mindscape, you know he’s hit a milestone. But he still has a ways to go.
It will be more than nice Bugze. It will be wonderful. I guarantee you will-
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
You are interrupted from your thoughts from the sudden loud knocks coming from the bunker door. Both you and Nightshade freeze in place at the unexpected sound.
“Was…Was that-“ Nightshade begins before she is interrupted by yet another trio of loud knocks.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
Who could possibly know we’re here? You think in worry before you turn to your equally confused daughter.
“Stay close to me Nightshade,” you command your daughter who nods.
The both of you then cautiously walk to Grandbuggy’s monitoring room.
“Um…How do you turn on these light projection units again honey?” you ask. Even if you’ve been in the modern era for three years, the technology still baffles you.
“You press the button that says power,” she responds like it’s obvious.
Rolling your eyes, you cautiously press said button as all of the security monitors Bugze’s grandfather set up come to life. Both of your eyes quickly find the feed for the front door, and you gasp in shock while Nightshade gasps in surprise.
AllenNoir’s Comment
“Is that a changeling? What’s a changeling doing here?” Nightshade asks.
“That isn’t just any Changeling Nightshade, that’s-“
“Sin…” Bugze’s interrupts your explanation with his own shocked voice.
Nightshade whips back and looks to the both of you at hearing Bugze’s voice.
Bugze? You ask.
She’s…She’s not dead…Bugze gasps in surprise and what you think is gratitude.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* the pounding on the door comes again.
“Who’s Sin?” Nightshade asks.
You expect Bugze to speak, but he doesn’t verbally, so you answer.
“She is the leader of the Changelings that kidnapped you last year.”
She frowns at this as she looks back to the monitors.
“What’s she doing here? How did she find us?” she asks, but you have no answers to give.
She’s alive…but what about the others? Bugze asks.
You steel your eyes at this. On one hoof, this was someone that led to one of Bugze’s darkest moments, but on the other hoof, he’s speaking and reacting again. Even if it’s just confirmation that the Changeling Five from last year aren’t all dead, her appearance has helped him greatly.
Perhaps…
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
“What do we do mom?”
You let out a sigh.
“We open the door, then we see what happens from there,” you answer plainly.
Nightshade seems unsure of this, and you can’t blame her.
“Nightshade, I want you to get into the inventory, just in case.”
She looks from the monitor and back to you.
“Yeah, alright. But call me if you need help,” she responds as she leaps into the bags.
You then proceed to the bunker door.
Bugze…Do you wish to be back in control?
I…I don’t know Selly, his use of your nickname makes you smirk, What if she’s hear for vengeance, what if she wants to hurt me…I wouldn’t blame her, he slips again into melancholy.
No, don’t fall back down, you order. How about this. You speak through your mouth, and I shall control the rest for you?
I…I don’t…
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
Not giving Bugze time to back down, you reach out his foreleg and open the door.
POV Change: Bugze (Still a Spectator in your own body)
On the other side is the Changeling Female with the Alias of Cinnamon Sugar, or Sin for short. One of your former bullies within the hive, you haven’t seen her since the day…since the day you left her and the others to die in that cave…
And as you think that you notice the scar of three claw marks running down the left side of her cheek, where she tries to hide it with her mane.
I…I shouldn’t have done that…She could have died. I’m a bad Bu-
But she’s not dead Bugze, Selena encourages. She’s right here.
And she’s right. Though guilt still eats away at you, there is some comfort that she’s alive, which is more than you can say for Trixie…But the thing is, Sin looks determined and business like, as if you never left her to die in the first place.
“Hello 9001,” she responds coolly. “Or am I speaking with Nightmare Moon right now?”
Your mouth does not move to answer, so you know that Selena is waiting, hoping that you’ll speak.
“Although I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’ve still come here to ask you to help us regardless,” she says plainly.
You want to apologize, you want to ask about the others, you want her to know that you forgive her for the past, and hope that she can forgive you. Just like you should have done for Trixie.
“H-Help?” you sputter from your mouth while Selena controls the rest of you.
She nods at this.
“Yes. The others and I have found where they’ve been keeping the Queen and the Hive. We need your help to free them.”
If Selena didn’t drop your jaw in shock, you would have.
“May I come in?” she asks.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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But instead, all that comes out is...
"I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!"
Eh, close enough.
(Sorry, got back into borderlands.)
Well, the most obvious thing is to stand aside so she can pass. Second is the big question. "How did you escape?"
She looks away. "I didn't. The dragon that caught me, he..." You see her barely manage to suppress a full-body shiver. "He wasn't the type to chew..."
"What do you- oh. Oh! Eww!" The remake of that "Land of the Lost" show came to mind and Selena has to take over your mouth for a second so you don't throw up. Then the thought of what that would be like for her hits you. "I'm so sorr-"
"Don't. I led a group of changelings to steal your... child? Whatever. The point is we tried to steal her so you'd help us. Of course you would freak out. I would proba- possi- well, maybe have done the same. What about you and the Nightmare?"
"Errrr.... The changeling you are searching is not in home, please leave your message after the signal and he will answer when he can or after he run away many miles, beeeeeeep" Say Bugzee still not really in touch
"Oh well if he is not in here..." Say Cinnamon as there is silence for a couple of seconds before a shout come from the other side of the door and the door is hit.
"AGENT 9001 you are not going to fool me or anyone! now take it seriously and open the bucking door or I promise you I will use you as a bait for the Princesses and the elements while I rescue the queen" Shout Sin from the other side of the door.
"So... What do I do?" Ask Bugzee to Selena
"I think we have no choice..." Mutter Selena as she move Bugzee body and open the door.
"Well, that is better..." Say Cinnamon Sugar as she enter like nothing
"So... Why do you want me specially? Surely there are many other changelings you could take, I can even remember a couple of Knights that were changelings but I doubt you talked with them as much as with me" Comment Bugzee looking to the female changeling still not secure of what to do
"Yeahh... Them... I tried to talk with Kichi but he rejected the offer, he told me that he agree to offer food, but he did have a good position and did not want to bring it in risk in case the queen decide to make another Canterlot" The female changeling walked and looked around.
"Are you not going to offer me somewhere to sit?" Ask Cinnamon
"I just returned, excuse me if I don't really have anything for guest... Damn Lady Luck and her convenient times" Say Bugzee as he whisper the last part
"What about the others?" Ask Bugzee
"Well..." Begin to say
.... (I leave it to the others to put if they meet cinnamon or not, if they don't answer, the excuse is, they were crazy or did not manage to get them before he captured them) ...
"So... What do you want of me? And how exactly are you still alive? I mourned you thinking that the dragons eat you after our last time" Say Bugzee
"You mourned me?" Ask Sin surprised, as she did not seem to expect that.
"Yeah... I mean, even if you were a bully, it was no reason to let you die, it's only that it was too late when I tought about it" Comment Bugzee
"Well, that... That is a surprise" Say the female changeling as she still was surprised of the reaction from Bugzee
"Well, what do you want of ol me? I'm only a changeling, not sure how much help could I offer, if even I decide to help, because I can't see a reason to help you after you tried to kidnap my daughter, and better not talk about her mother" Bugzee look to Cinnamon to the eyes as he defy her, his eyes turning white for a second as Selena took control showing her power.
"And let's not put that this time she is not in your power, as she is hidden" Add Bugzee
"Yeah, Yeah... About that, I still have my card... If you don't help me, I could tell the Princesses where you are and let them take care of you, I'm sure that you could be a good distraction and if meanwhile they decide to take your zebra friend to interrogate or destroy everything here as they think they are proof, well, it's not my fault"
"How did you find me?" You ask, full of curiosity.
"I was there when everything happened the night Trixie took over. I saw everything the ponies saw. How you... killed her."
You look at her sadly.
"When Nightmare Moon took over and teleported you and you body away, I just had to look around. Eventually, I found this bunker. And I remember some rumors going around back before the failed invasion that your grandbuggy had bunkers all around, so I just knew you were in here. I knocked on the door for a bit, and- well- you know the rest..."
"9001, if you come and help us we can help you. We're fellow changelings- were family."
"Help me?" You ask in wonder. "How?"
"If you save the Queen and the Hive I'm sure they would definitely try to get Nightmare Moon out of you. The Queen is pretty powerful. Some of the love magic she acquired at the wedding was so powerful it's still within her. We could-"
"Sin, Nightmare Moon's not evil. She's not the problem."
She tilts her head at you like you were crazy. "What?!"
"Her name is Selena. Yes, she was once Nightmare Moon with Princess Luna. But she's changed. She's... my best and closest friend in the world. Much more than anyone at the Hive. If anyone's my family, it's her and my daughter."
Then, Selena took over your mouth for a second. "It doesn't matter if you don't believe him. You won't believe us anyways, so there's no point in trying to convince you. Just know that Bugze and I are closer than you think, along with out daughter. If you try to do anything to us, to our family, I may not control this body most of the time, but Bugze will do the job for me."
Sin seemed to think deeply about your words about your true family and Selena's words, she was about to say something but shook her head and then said dully. "She's manipulating you 9001. Come with me and we'll help you if you help us. Then Queen Chrysalis can take over Equestria and you could live happily with your daughter in an equestrian changeling society." She takes your hoof and tries to escort you out but you take control of your right hoof alone and pull back.
"I understand that you want me to help. But I'm not going to do it for the wrong reasons. I don't care if I betray the hive if it means every one lives in peace."
"9001 they're our food! We're the predators here it's how life works!"
"Then how did I survive? Because I certainly didn't eat any love since the invasion."
"I... that's not the point. You can't have mercy on our prey."
You tug your hoof out of her grasp and say firmly. "I'm not going to help unless you promise to not hurt any pony."
"Then how do you expect us to survive?! Half of us is starving for bucks sake."
"Like me. Form peace between the ponies and you'll be able to survive."
"Oh yeah, like that's turned great for you."
"It didn't turn out great for me because the hive had a bad past with the ponies. If you all change that, then we all might be able to live life in harmony with death, evil organizations or monsters." You take control of your head alone and shake it. "But I know as well as the rest of the hive that Chrysalis won't agree. That's why I'm considering to decline helping."
"So you're going to leave our race to die?" She asks.
You shake your head once again. "I'm not going to. Not again."
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out through your mouth causing Sin’s eyes to widen. “I’m so so sorry for what I did to you…to the others…”
She is clearly surprised by the sadness in your voice, and appears to be fumbling for words.
“I was so angry. I have a problem. I’m a monster who can’t stop trying to let others die for my rage. I’m so so-“
“Look, it’s…it’s fine,” she says in a tone that clearly isn’t fine.
“But you were pleading for help, and I didn’t give it and…”
“IT’S FINE!!!” she declares with grit teeth, before turning away and breathing deeply.
“We didn’t die, not for lack of trying…”
“We? So you mean that the others are also…?
She nods.
“Biff, Tannen, Mongo and Vicky, we all made it out that night, we each bear our own scars,” she rubs her cheek. “Some worse than others.”
Being left beaten and defenseless by dragons, you’re glad that all they have is scars. But still.
“H-How bad?”
She sighs and says, “Biff only has heavy scarring like I do, but Tannen lost an ear, Vicky can’t fly anymore with only one wing, and Mongo can’t speak anymore thanks to a slashed windpipe.”
Selena herself brings your hoof up to your mouth at the image, and you would have done the same.
“But like I said. It’s fine. We’re alive, we found what we were looking for, and we still are able to carry out our duties.”
Alive is one thing, but they’ve all been maimed thanks to your rage. Every scar that they have, is because of your actions.
Just like Trixie…Oh gods I should have saved her, I had the ability to…Why didn't I just...
You start to fade out a bit.
Stay with me Bugze! Mayhaps you can still save this one. She came for help after all Selena encourages.
Help…Yeah…sure… you say as you try to keep your thoughts from overwhelming you.
“Wh-where are they?” you ask nervously.
“They are off in their key positions. I figured how last time…” she rubs her cheek, “Well, I figured that perhaps if it was just me things would go smoother. 9001”
“I…It’s Bugze…remember?” you put out.
She looks at you and bites her lip, “Right…”
Later in the conversation.
“Even if Nightmare Moon is possessing you, The Hive wouldn’t care. You’d be a hero, you’d be praised, accepted.”
“That never happened before,” you reply unsurely.
“You have a better chance with us than with the ponies. They’ll never accept you, not after what’s happened. But we NEED you Bugze. The prison is impenetrable, and with you with us, we have a better chance of succeeding.”
“Yeah, but I doubt Chrysalis would ever try to keep me around. With my powers she’d see my as a threat, and sooner try to kill me than help me,” you reply in dejection.
Glad to see someone taking my idea and rolling with it. I'll leave the actual story to unfold as the hive mind sees fit I'm not the best story teller but if I had to guess Sin will at first assume that Bugze is nothing more than Nightmaremoon throughout the start of the conversation she will hold an aloft but cautious attitude to Bugze because of his previous displays of power.
Bugze will try to apologize for what he did and failed to do for his fellow changelings while Selena prods and pushes him to fether interact with Sin. Sin will want Bugze to help brake the hive out of prison, but either through talking or through some changeling sence that allows her to sense Bugze's emotions she will have to pull Bugze to a more stable mentality in order to further her agenda to rescue the hive. This will likely lead to back story of her time in the Hive her experiences and how she and Bugze interacted and what it means to be part of the hive, only this time they can have a decent conversation without being interrupted by the physically gifted but mentally incompetence changelings that compensated her the last time.
Sin and Bugze will still have different views about the hive that they start arguing with Selena stepping in only when she thinks Bugze is about to close himself of or go to far, but she will be cautious not wanting Bugze to slip back into his depression.
In the End Bugze will likely desire to help because he is still racked with guilt and possible some form of understanding and slight comradely for Sin (similar to Bugze and Aqua have, that will have to be built upon with stories from their flashback)
Please don't feel the need to fallow what I wrote out here. I was having kind of a bad day and this helped me calm down. If anything I wrote interest you feel free to use it. looking forward to the nest chapter.
YAY CHRYSALIS!!!!
If I were Selena, I'd just be sure to talk to Bugze about everything and discuss it thoroghly, but support him in whichever way he chooses to go, unless said way would lead to self-destruction. She wants him to get better so if he believes this will help him in some way or another to become better, then she should support him and his decision.
For Bugze, just do what you think you have to, but if it's going to lead you down a dark path, then don't. The three of them (Bugze, Selena, and Nightshade) have gone through a lot, they can get through this.
Nightshade, that's not how boolean works. If it's loosing control AND killing someone, not loosing control OR killing someone, then he has to be both, out of control and a murderer. When Trixie stabbed herself, Bugze WAS in control, so he only fulfilled part of the requirement to break the promise^^
Nightshade pops her head out of your bags, glaring at Sin.
"No." she says simply, before slamming the bunker door shut with her magic.
As Sin walks into the bunker, curiously looking around at all it contains before finally taking a seat, waiting for you to do the same so you can have your talk. You move Bugzy's body, but his already strained mind is barely responding.
"Bugzy?" you ask cautiously, feeling your changeling still unsteady and in shock, "Are you alright? This is quite the development."
"...she's alive..." you hear him whisper. "All this time I thought I'd left them to die, and now she's here. And my Hive... they actually found the others... and they need me."
You can hear Relief and astoundment in his tone, but they're both smothered by a wet blanket of guilt. Meanwhile you are more than a little reluctant at hearing this information. Bugzy just went through a terrible ordeal which he still has not come close to recovering from, and you yourself have become a target for all the forces at Celestia's call. You should be looking out for yourselves, taking time to mend your wounds and lay low, not going out of you way to aid others! Especially Sin and company.
You make these thoughts known to your changeling, hoping to turn him away before he potentially hurts himself further.
"I already left them to their fate once Selena. And now it isn't just them." he tells you.
You mentally frown and shake your head. The guilt from before coupled with his actions only a week prior are driving his conscious now. You've been with Bugzy long enough to know how the other changelings tormented him, and how they had the gall to continue doing so even after foal-napping your precious daughter. Perhaps what Bugzy did to them was far too harsh, but in your opinion, hardly unwarrented. Everything logical in your mind says none of this has anything to do with you, and that these jerks should be simply left to their fate once more... But you know how much Bugzy is hurting, and how in his state, doing this is sure to make him worse.
So, with the stairs leading down in both directions, you relent. "Very well. We shall hear what she has to say. But Bugzy, for all of us, please don't commit to anything out of guilt.
So, sitting your bug down across from Sin and keeping a wary eye, you begin your conversation.
---
"9001, we're out of time. The hive has been locked away for more than three years now; they're not going to last much longer if we don't do something. I wouldn't have come to you if there were anyling else that could pull this off." Sin tells you, slamming her hoof for emphasis before giving you a pleading look. "Me and the rest, we're going to try and bust them out with or without you."
"But... your injuries." You say, spying the scar on her cheek and remembering the others are far worse.
Sin looks away from you. "Yeah..." she says with a defeated sigh, "I don't like our odds. But this is our Hive we're talking about, and our Queen. We can't just do nothing, even if it is basically suicide."
Your breath catches in your throat at that word, and you feel Selena cringe.
"Look... I know we were mean to you in the past, like... really mean." sin tells you, "But we really need you now. Because like I said, we're going in with or without you. And we'd rather go in with you."
"You've made your case." Selena speaks through your mouth before you get a chance to say a thing. We require time to consider this. Leave now and await our decision."
Selena keeps a tight hold of your body and mouth as the two of you watch Sin exit the bunker.
"Bugze-"
"We have to help them." you say firmly.
You wait for some kind of argument from Selena, any kind of fighting response. But instead, all you get is a sigh. "I know. But Bugzy, I don't like this. Putting yourself in harms way to save innocents is one thing, but these changelings, your old hive... you heard what Sin wants to do. What will you do if when they are released they try to destroy Equestria, turning everypony into food for their bellies? What will you do if this attempt fails and we are captured, taken to the the Elements and they-
"I don't want to see you or Nightshade hurt because of this."
"I know." You say, knowing you're on the losing side now matter what you choose to do. "But like Sin said... we can't do nothing."
You don't want to face her. Not after what you did. But you have to, otherwise you'll regret it, adding to the ever growing pile. Regret, regret, regret... You take a deep breath.
Agony. That is what it feels like as you force yourself to open the door, each inch going by like an eternity. How long ago was it, since that day—one of those days when you thought being vindictive is justifiable? Another day that you regret your actions of...
It's just like with Trixie.
When you finally completely open the door, revealing the both of you with no pretense, no false disguises. Sin blinks. You blink as well.
Weakly, you utter a "Hey."
Her eyes widens slightly at your greeting, staring at you with slightly parted lips. It's no surprise. You can see what she sees in her mirror-like eyes. You: weak and with eyes of a deeper shade of blue, a far cry from what you were like the last time you both met.
Never before have you felt so naked.
------
"Why?" With a hoarse throat, you asked what's been bothering you throughout the conversation.
"Hm?" Sin goes rigid, as if ambushed.
"Why did you come to me again?" You pause, but with surge of will, you elaborate, "You—you know my answer from back then—back on that day. You know it hasn't changed, even now." Your cracks at the end, but you finally place your thoughts for Sin to hear.
"Why, huh?" Sin looks to the side, pondering deeply. The few cautious glances towards you answers everything, yet nothing at all. Then, she sighs, but you notice her stiff breathing. "It felt so long since that day. Almost like a dream. I try to forget, too..."
...But it never healed the scars. You glance away. To hold guilt and to deal with the consequences. Her too, just like you.
"You made an uproar over a week ago. I'm reminded of what happened and well...I couldn't resist. I had to find you. Deep down, I knew your answer would be the same: Flat rejection. Of course, how can it be anything else? Not after what...home did to you." She closes her eyes, opening then again after a deep breath. Her eyes are downcast now. "But I didn't expect to be apologized to." This time her hooves goes still, her entire being rigid and calm. She's business once more. But by these actions you know she is anything but. "It wasn't what I wanted."
You freeze up. Meeting her eyes suddenly feels like a taboo.
However, she continues. "Even though you apologized, not once did you say you forgave me." Chuckling dryly, she says, "In a way, I'm seeking forgiveness instead."
"Oh." Just like you.
With a humorless smile, she nods, eyes glazed. "What can I expect? To you, we must be monsters."
-------------------
Can monsters be forgiven? That is the question, always there waiting to be asked.
But then you remember. Nightmare Bugze, you, in his last moments. You remember how you pushed the Luna Plushie onto him, how you let him sleep happy dreams, and how you knew he—and therefore you—can be forgiven regardless. You gave him peace. He's not you and is you, and yet you did it despite the paradox. Is it true though?
Is that forgiveness real? Is it just an illusion? You want to know.
"I'll do it."
Sin is shocked. Her expectations are now blown to pieces, and in its place is hope. Tiny, muted, it is still something. However, wariness overtakes her first. Stiffly, she asks seriously, "Why? Why change your mind?"
"W-well..." For the umpteenth time in the meeting, you look away, hot with embarrassment. You're not sure how to express your reason. Even so, your mouth moved anyways. What came out is an echo, an abridged recital of something you haven't heard in a very long time. "I'm just like you, and you're just like me."
I art thou, and thou art I.
Even after his erasure, your Shadow from another universe is there to give you a video game reference to recall. It doesn't sound as bad as it used to be.
With a slight glow, you speak, "If there are changelings like you and me, I want to know for myself if the Hive is worth saving anymore." You then smile slightly. "Things change all the time. Right?"
"...right." For the very first time, Sin genuinely smiles.
"Lieutenant-"
"It's Shell Marshall Sin now, Private." Sin corrects.
"Wait, you got promoted or did you just give yourself-"
"We have more pressing concerns at the moment Private 900-"
"Bugze."
============
Sin informs you that while the majority of the changeling army is currently under lock and key after being captured after the failed infiltration of Ponyville, but there is at least a Battalion's worth of changelings still scattered out there throughout Equestria.
Bugze asks about Kichi and Erised (aka the two Changeling members of the Crimson Knight lieutenants) and Sin gives her opinion of them.