Episode 3: Quit Ruining My Stealth Plans Lady Luck! (Crystal Empire Arc Part 2)
ErisedtheInkMoth’s Comment
SnapDrakeGames' Comment
You continue to stare at your Bro’s menacing face in the double reflection as he continues to stare at you.
Oh Buck, Oh Buck, Oh Buck! What do I do? What do I do?! You panic in your mind
As you do you notice that Flash hasn’t moved or said a thing as he stares, and you jump to the most logical conclusion.
OK, his vision must be based on movement like a T-Rex. If I don’t move, breathe or blink, he won’t be able to see me… you conclude as you hold your breath. He’ll look away any second now.
Several Minutes Later
WHY THE BUCK HASN’T HE MOVED?! You angrily think as you start to turn a shade of blue with your lungs screaming for air. In that time, Flash has neither flinched, blinked, nor taken a breath as well since you can see him turning blue also.
This intense battle of wills comes to an end however when you see the reflection of Cadance look up and ask.
“Flash? What’s wrong? What are you staring at?” before she looks at your reflection.
The combination of lack of oxygen, bloodshot eyes, hearing her voice and looking into her eyes causes you to gasp in shock and fall over as you flash back to that horrible day.
“Gggyyyaaaaghhhh *cough* *cough* Intruder!” you hear Flash yell, and see him struggling to get his breath back as a confused Cadance looks on.
As you yourself get your breathing under control, you angrily rant.
“Oh Goramnit! Buck you Lady Luck! This plan was foolproof! In fact, most of my plans are, but they always get foiled by you you sick sadistic…” your rant is cut short as you see Flash running towards you.
You hold your hoof up and dramatically shout
“No way, I got you!” he says as he leaps.
“Ssssstttttoooopppp!!!!” you yell again.
“Like heck I – “ he starts before crashing head first into the wall mirror’s reflection, shattering it and causing his eyes to roll around in his head.
“Oh My Goodness!” shrieks Cadance as Flash turns around on wobbly legs extremely dizzy.
“I-wasit…watermelon-frisbee…” he mumbles as he sees you again, this time, not your reflection.
“You…stupid…mud pony…” he warbles before charging you again on unsteady legs.
“Never…I’ll fly like an eagle till I’m fr- “ he shouts, before he trips and faceplants right into the pillar beside you.
“Ooooo,” both you and Cadance say with a wince.
“I told you to stop you closet racist” you tell him as you pull his face off the pillar.
He looks up at you with a dazed look, “I have a bird, his name is Rodney…” he says goofily.
“Well you tell Rodney you got knocked the buck out!” you tell him.
He nods, before he vigorously shakes his head. His scowl returns and he stands back up and drags you around the corner, allowing Cadance to see you.
“Alright Intruder, Who Are You?!” he demands with a tough voice as if he didn’t just smack his face twice.
“I’m…well…” you stutter before Flash comes completely out of the fog and his brain fires more neurons.
“Wait a minute, I know you don’t I?” he says interrupting your thoughts. “Hey I do! You’re El Hunko, the dashing stallion that played at the Gala and smashed my guitar. What are you doing here? How are you here?"
He doesn’t recognize me? Thank Luna. Flash good buddy, I think you just gave me my way out of this, you think and muster up as much professional spy-grade swagger as you can. It's not much, I mean this is You we're talking about, not Con Mane. But if you do this right, it might just save your buggy butt.
"Mr. Sentry... you know why I'm here." you tell him calmly and evenly as though you had all the answers.
"Uh... no. No I really don't." he tells you blankly "Mind telling me?"
"I... am the solution." you state cryptically.
"The solution to what?"
"Problems."
Flash raises an eyebrow, and you can tell he's about to speak up. You can't let him, and so you channel your inner movie nerd and start belting out every dramatic introductory one-liner you can think of as a heroic theme begins playing in your head.
"I was sent here for a reason. I've come back to you now, at the turn of the tide, to help stem the tide of evil. For I am the light that lucks in the shadows. I am the hero, who has no name. Mine is a terrible power and a heavy cross to bear. I do this not for me, but because I must. The werewolves attack randomly throughout the cereal... on guard, where is our ship?!
"YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY KIND OF SENSE!" Flash screams, gripping at his mane like he could tear it out at any second "You're just TALKING in CIRCLES about NOTHING!"
"Wrong." you say "I'm talking about everything! Or at least...everything that matters."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Flash screams and roughly pushes you up against the pillar.
“Enough Nonsense, What are you doing here?!” he demands as he puts pressure on your chest.
"Ow! Owowowow- OW! "Get off of me!" you cry in pain. With a burst of strength, you push him off of you. You stagger forward on your hooves, clutching your chest. It seems your wound has opened even more.
“I need a medic!" you scream as blood slowly gushes onto the shiny floor and you realize your plans have failed you yet again.
Cadence, catching sight of the whole affair, raises an eyebrow. "Blue blood?" she whispers to herself as she sees it drip to the floor. As she watches it fall her eye twitches and she mutters,
“Stab, Kill, End it now…” before she winces and holds her head.
“What was that?” she wonders aloud before looking back towards you.
Flash meanwhile freaks out thinking that he wounded you.
"Oh Sweet Celestia, oh I'm so sorry sir," Flash quickly says as he sees the blood. He steps towards you. "Do you need some help?"
"No! Stay away from me!" you scream, flinching back. "Err- I mean no thank you. I'm, um, looking for a doctor."
"And from the looks of it you really do need one," Cadence says as she steps forward, to which you involuntarily step back from. She notices this and sees that you are quite scared and hurt. She turns to the Orange Pegasus and says "Sentry, back away. He's obviously quite wounded.”
He nods and does as he’s commanded
“Mr. Hunko, the medical wing is down the hall and to the left. Would you like an escort?"
"No, that's fine," you wheeze, turning away. "Th-thank you, Princess." You start to stumble out, before she calls out.
“You’re welcome sir, get yourself fixed up, but come back as soon as you do, we would like to know why you’re all the way out here and so severely wounded.”
“Yeah, will do, bye!” you grunt, leaving the room before you can say anything that might give you away.
"Hmm... And he sounded so familiar," Cadence says to herself. She then thinks back to the random stabbing urge from earlier. "Ugh. Cadenza, you're probably imagining it. Snap out of it."
“Cadance, what are you doing? You need to conserve your strength,” says a worried Shining Armor as he comes into the room, the black crystals still on his horn.
She shakes her head, and turns away from your retreating form, suddenly feeling even more tired than before as she heads towards her husband.
“And what was all that yelling I heard?” he asks.
“A wounded civilian sir,” explains Flash.
“Wounded Civilian?” he asks confused.
Several Minutes Later, you leave the coveted Doctor’s room, which wasn’t as helpful as you would have liked.
What do you mean you don’t know if you’re a Doctor or not?!
I…uh…can’t remember… he said holding his head.
But your cutiemark is a stethoscope, doesn’t that mean you’re a Doctor?
“I…uhhh…
Oh for the love of… you grunted with a facehoof.
You then raided any useful supplies, such as more bandages, and a sticky flesh balm which you used to stop your wound from bleeding. Even though it kind of itched putting that cream into your chest, it worked, so you wrapped yourself up again and downed some painkillers.
As you left the room and the useless doctor, you began to head back towards Cadance before you realized that you really shouldn’t since you could blow your cover. Also, because it really is a chore having to speak with her as you keep flashing back to the other world. And speaking of the other world, you realize that Sombra was resurrected into that world, just like he has in this one.
“Oh no…what if the time stream and Lady Luck are trying to make the Nightmare still come?” you say aloud in worry. You then shake your head.
“No! I won’t let that happen. If Sombra doesn’t come back fully in this world, then he wouldn’t be around to fight a Nightmare Me, and thus a Nightmare Me couldn’t exist. Surely there’s some info around here about him. His fears and weaknesses…there has to be” you say to yourself in a paranoid manner before veering down a new hallway and opening random doors.
You find a lot of rooms with nothing but junk. One room even seems to be entirely devoted to Slinkies.
“I’ve only been up one set of stairs so far, why would this guy need so many slinkies?” you wonder aloud.
Out in the Snow Storm
The evil smoke monster sneezes…somehow, and an even more angry look crosses it’s eyes.
“Sssssllllliiiiinnnnnkkkkkiiiieeeesssss….” It growls.
Back to You
A shiver runs down your spine so you leave the room, but not before snagging a slinkie and handing it to Nightshade.
“Here you go honey, play with this for a bit.”
“Thanks Daddy,” she chirps as she starts messing with it, “But can I come out soon, I’m getting kind of hungry.”
“Be patient Nightshade, I’ll let you know,” you tell her as you close your inventory and open another door.
BrownDog77's Comment
In this room, you find a crate full of Flugelhorns. How do you know what a Flugelhorn is? You and Grandbuggy were once undercover at a Renaissance Festival in Las Pegasus. You both were eventually banned after Grandbuggy drank all the mead on tap and started hitting on the jousting mannequins, but not before you learned how to play the instrument.
“Huh, wonder if I still got it,” you say as you pick one up and blow into the mouthpiece. When you do, instead of the off key noise coming out, you instead hear what sounds like smooth jazz come out.
“What the buck?” you say startled before blowing again. Once again, jazz music comes out of the end of the horn.
Confused, you pick up another horn and blow into it. This time, a techno-like sound comes out, similar to Vinyl’s favorite music. Another horn you pick up has what sounds like a fiddle being played, and yet another one an electric guitar.
You come to the conclusion that these Flugelhorns are enchanted. Being the opportunist that you are, you stuff about 50 of the horns into your bag, leaving only a handful in the crate.
“I could sell these things for a few bits. Besides, the ones I left should be enough, it’s not like anyling desperately needs any right now.”
Somewhere in the Empire, Pinkie Pie suddenly sneezes.
“Alright, so from I’ve found so far, Sombra liked Slinkies and Flugelhorns. Not sure what that information tells me, but it’s better than nothing” you contemplate as you head for another room.
This room you find out is a royal bedroom, with a massive bed and ornate lamps and vases everywhere. You whistle seeing how nice it is. You then notice some traveling bags near the bed and see Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s name on them.
“Oh Crud, I’m in their room,” you say panicked as you look around. Luckily, they are not there. Deciding to do some investigating, you dig through Shining’s Bag, but not Cadance’s since you respect her privacy. Inside, you find some warm clothes, but also some paperwork. Most of it is a mission statement detailing information on the Empire, but nothing about Sombra. Also in Shining’s bag, you find your most recent Wanted Poster.
Wanted, The Hooded Offender: 2,000,000,000 Bits for the Crimes of Assault, Property Damage, Arson, Mayhem, and Murder.
“Oh how sweet of you Shining, keeping a picture of me,” you deadpan as you toss the poster aside. You then get a great idea.
“Wait a minute. This bounty…If I pay it off, then they won’t want to capture me anymore. Surely I’ve got that much.”
You then dump out the vast majority of your treasure you took from Smaug onto the bed, which in turn, overflows all over the room. You then place your wanted poster in the middle of it, and with a pen, you cross out the picture of yourself.
“There, one official bribe at your service” you smirk. You didn’t dump all your treasure, as you decided to hold onto a couple of gems. Some Rubies, Sapphires, Pearls, Garnets, stuff like that. Still, you are sad to see the treasure go, but you got to do what you got to do.
Your stomach then growls and you feel a bit queasy. You look back to the bottle of pills you downed, and they warn about taking them on an empty stomach. You decide that it’s time to find some food for yourself and Nightshade. Running around a nearly empty palace isn’t exactly helping. And with that, you exit the castle in search of sustenance.
Kersey's Comment
Make sure your disguise is in order. Oh, and try not to act like you, hard as that might be.
Surprise Surprise, this town full of the weird spaced out ponies doesn’t exactly have any food places, or none that you can find. The closest thing you found was a fruit stand, and even then it was selling things like Crystal Berries and Crystal Peaches. You tried taking a bite, but since you aren’t a dragon, or Nightshade who just gobbles them up, you may have chipped a tooth.
“Ow! Oh come on, don’t you have any real food?” you ask the stall vendor.
“That is real food right?” he asks.
“No, I can’t eat what is essentially just rocks,” you complain.
“Wait…a non-crystal pony can’t eat uncooked crystal food,” he says as he remembers something.
“Well how in the heck do I cook crystals?”
“Um…I can’t remember. Maybe if you had a cookbook?”
“Guh! You know, aside from the cool looking buildings, this city has been my least favorite place I’ve ever visited, and I’ve been to Detrot!” you huff as you walk away from the confused pony.
“Wait…you’re supposed to pay for those…right?” he says rubbing his head.
So now I have to find a cook book, guess it’s back to the library again.
As you walk to the library, you notice the sky flickering a bit, showing the winter storm through the sunlit blue. With a gulp, you double time it.
Back at the library, you don’t see the Librarian again, so you just wander around looking for a cookbook. You eventually find a sign that says Culinary and grab several cookbooks.
3 Crystal Cook Books Added to Inventory.
Right next to your section is the History section. Seeing this you realize another thing.
“I’m in a library, information on Sombra would definitely be here.”
After mentally facehoofing, you head into the history section, but stop dead in your tracks when you round a corner and run straight into 6 certain mares. Just being this unexpectedly close to them, you let out a gasp of shock and they all look at you.
“Um, hello? Can we help you?” asks Twilight.
“I…ugh…” you sputter out as you briefly flashback and see her with her own horn piercing her chest.
“Are you OK there pardner?” asks Applejack, and you see her mangled body causing you to start shaking and look at the ground while pulling your hat down.
They are confused by this, but you keep your head down and try to calm yourself.
Calm down, calm down. It’s not them. They’re alive. They don’t know who you are, and they are alive. Just don’t act like yourself. You’re just a normal pony in the library, looking for a book. Just a normal pony looking for a book.
“I am just a normal pony looking for a book,” you say aloud to the ground.
“Oh, this poor crystal pony seems worse than the rest, we have to find that book so that we can stop King Sombra girls,” Twilight says.
They start to move around you, but they suddenly stop as Rainbow Dash suddenly says.
“Hold up! Haven’t we seen this guy before?”
I am not a normal pony looking for a book! I’m public enemy number one about to be found out! Abort! Abort!
Your traitorous legs however don’t obey and you just keep shaking.
“I don’t see how, the Crystal Empire has been gone for a thousand years,” says AJ.
“No seriously, I swear I’ve seen this guy before,” RD continues.
“Now that you mention it, his dashing attire does seem familiar,” says Rarity.
“Yeah…it does…” says Twilight as her face scrunches up in remembrance.
Rainbow Dash then gets in your face and demands, “Alright pal, who are you?”
“I-I-I-I-…” you warble, before you flash back and see yourself ripping her wings off and her screaming in agony.
“AAAAAHHHHH!!!” you scream as you jump backwards into a bookshelf, startling the others. Several books then land on your head.
“Ow! Ouch! Oof! Ow! Ow!” you cry out as each one hits you, before one final heavy tome hits you and you momentarily go limp.
“Ooooohhhhh….” You moan as the 6 get closer to you.
“Oh my goodness, are you alright,” you hear the familiar sweet voice of Fluttershy.
You look up at her and then you regret it. Her neck is at an unnatural angle and her eyes are dead.
You look to the rest surrounding you and see their twisted forms from what the other you did. The only one without dead eyes is Pinkie, but she just scowls as she holds her severed arm in her other hoof.
Tears come to your eyes as you quickly throw the heavy book on your head at them and dart away as fast as you can, wailing in sadness as you do.
“What in the heck was that?” asks Rainbow Dash.
“A poor soul you just harassed Rainbow, how could you?” chides AJ.
“Hey, I thought he was a spy or something, I didn’t know that would happen!”
“Sh-should we go after him?” asks Fluttershy.
“No, we don’t have time for that. We have a whole Empire to save. Luckily that pony gave us just what we needed,” says Twilight as she holds up the book you threw, which is A History of the Crystal Empire. “Once we stop Sombra, that stallion and every other poor crystal pony will be saved.”
After hiding amongst the books and calming yourself down, (you took the rest of the pain pills to do this) you realize that the other world’s effect on you was greater than you thought.
“I really really need a shrink or someone to talk to this about. I can’t keep losing it like this.
After awhile though of just sitting in the library, you hear an announcement from the palace and you walk outside, as does every other Crystal Pony.
You hear Twilight declaring that something called the Crystal Fair will begin. You see some of the Crystal Ponies have surprised smiles on their faces, and you suddenly see fair shops being set up.
“They’re going to have a party while we’re in the middle of a crisis? Did Pinkie decide this?” you wonder as you make your way through the city.
Along the way, you find some shops already have food out. Cooked food. So you start grabbing whatever you can get, Crystal Berry Pies, Crystal Corn on the Cob, and other treats. Both you and Nightshade gobble them down as you make your way back to the palace. The sky keeps flickering, which means something is wrong with Cadance. You may not want to speak with her, but you do feel the need to make sure she’s alright.
After avoiding Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash who all rushed out of the door and into the city, you made your way back up to the top floor where you see
Kichi's Comment
An even more distressed looking Cadance shivering as an equally beat looking Shining holds her close.
“Do you think Twilight will be alright?” she asks.
“Yeah, if anypony can find the Crystal Heart, she can” reassures Shining. “I’m more worried about HIM running around here actually.”
You gulp at this.
“Are you sure it was him?” asks Cadance.
“Who else could it be? All that treasure didn’t just appear there magically. Plus his picture was in the middle of it X’d out” says Shining.
“But how would he even have gotten here?” she asks.
“I don’t know, but that “El Hunko” guy you and Flash ran into might have something to do with it.”
“I don’t know Shining, he was just a wounded stallion.”
“Exactly. How did he get wounded? Also, he never came back and Twily said they saw someone in his garb at the library. It’s pretty suspicious if you ask me. That’s why I have Flash out looking for him.”
“Oh Shiny, I’m sure you’re over…ugh…” she sighs as her horn flickers and he steadies her.
Well my disguise is falling apart every minute I’m here, better find something on Sombra before it’s too late.
You then give one more glance at Cadance. You still feel fearful, but she looks so weak and sick.
“Daddy, do you think we can do something to help Cousin Cadance?” comes a whisper to your right, and you nearly jump out of your skin before seeing that it’s just Nightshade, sticking her head out.
“Honey, don’t do that,” you whisper back, “We have to be sneaky and…” then what she says registers with you.
“Wait, COUSIN Cadance?!” you yelp aloud, startling Shining and Cadance. Mentally smacking yourself, you dive into a nearby vase before they can see you.
"Who is there? Reveal yourself!" screams Shining as he looks around.
"What is that about COUSIN Cadance?" you whisper to your daughter by sticking your head into the inventory.
"Well... It's something I was thinking about... If mommy was Nightmare Moon and Nightmare Moon was also Luna, and Luna is Cadance’s Aunt, that means Mommy is also Cadance’s aunt, right?"
You nod following the surprisingly well thought out theory and Nightshade continues.
"Well... If Cadance is Mommy’s niece, that makes her my cousin, right?"
“Ummm…wow, that does make sense…” you say as your mind has been blown.
“I know right? Which means that Cadance is your Niece, and Shining Armor is your Nephew in law, and Princess Celestia and Luna are your sisters in law,” chirps Nightshade. “See, I did learn stuff in school.”
“Well uh…technically your mother and I aren’t actually mar…” you begin before seeing Nigthshade’s confused face, “Never mind. Just stay in here and be quiet honey.”
“Okie Dokie.”
You then pull your head out of the bag and say aloud, “Huh, so in some weird Six Degrees of Kevin Hay-Bacon, I’m Shining Armor’s Uncle?”
"Fat Chance!” you hear a yell above you. You look up and see the very angry face of Shining Armor looking into the vase, “Nopony is my Uncle!”
"Gaaaah!" you scream and jump out of the vase.
"Stop! Don't move! You are under arrest!" shouts Shining.
"Wait, Wait... I'm innocent" you say.
“Innocent my behind! You mysteriously show up during this top secret mission wounded and skulking around my wife and my sister, and you claim to be innocent?!” he shouts as he steels his tired eyes at you.
"Come on! I was here by accident!"
“Stop lying! You’re him aren’t you?!”
“Um…who?”
“The Hooded Offender! Who else would’ve left all that money in our room?! Who else would come here making my life difficult?!”
“N-no way, I am El Hunko, dashing agent of…”
“STOP LYING! I know it’s you!” he shouts.
“Shining, do you even hear what you just said? There’s no way this guy could be Bugze,” says Cadance.
“Thank you madame, at least someone is still ration…”
“If anything he’s probably one of those Horde Members doing Bugze’s bidding.”
“Oh come on!”
“N-no, it’s got to be him…right?” Shining turns as he says to her.
“Do you honestly believe that?” asks Cadance.
“Yes…No?” he then starts rubbing his head, “I’m not sure…”
Oh thank the Doctor for this perception filter. Still, I gotta go…
“Shining, you’re tired and confused. So am I. I’m sure if we just asked this stallion calmly and rationally, then he’d tell us. Besides, you shouldn’t fight without the use of your magic.”
“You’re right,” he says with a sigh. “Alright you, explain who you are right…” he says before turning back to you, but you aren’t there. You took your chance while they were talking and bailed.
“That sneaky well dressed jerk!” shouts Shining.
Cadance then sighs tiredly. “I’m sure Flash will find him…please don’t leave my side…”
He sighs before rejoining his wife. “Alright Cady, but still, something’s up with this El Hunko, I know it…”
Having discretely listened to this conversation, you made your way back to the throne room where you see
BrownDog77’s Comment
Spike looking over a hole in the middle of the throne room that wasn’t there before. Around the throne are dark crystals, like the ones in Shining’s horn.
“Ooohhh, come on Twilight…” he says nervously looking down into the hole, “Please come back already.”
You then hear him sniffle as he begins crying.
“Daddy, we have to go talk to him,” says Nightshade popping out of the Inventory once more.
“Nightshade, how many times do I have to tell you, you have to stay in there,” you chide her.
“I know, I know, but I heard Spike’s voice, and it sounded so sad. Please daddy, go over and cheer him up, please?” she says giving you puppy dog eyes.
“Oh alright fine, but only me, you stay in your room young lady.”
“I will, just make sure he’s ok” she says as she ducks down.
Sighing once more, you walk into the room and say aloud.
“Hey, you there.”
He immediately stops sniffling and turns around in shock.
“Are you alright?” you ask.
“Y-*sniff* yeah, I’m fine, why do you ask?”
“I heard you crying.”
“I wasn’t crying. I just had something in my eye” he defends to which you just raise an eyebrow at.
“W-wait, I know you don’t I? Yeah, you were at the gala last year. What was your name again? La Beefcake?”
“El Hunko, and yeah, I remember you too Spike” you say as you shake his claw.
“Oh, well good to see you again, but why are you here, this place only just came back?” he asks.
“I’m a traveler of sorts, and I kind of accidentally ended up here, it’s a long story.”
“I bet, did you see that smoke monster out in the snow?”
“Yeah, which is kind of why I’m here, trying to figure out a way to get rid of him.”
“You’re not the only one,” he says sadly looking towards the hole.
“Now come on kid, tell me, what’s got you so down?” you say as you put a hoof on his shoulder.
He puts his head down and looks back into the hole, which you notice has a staircase going down into it.
“Twilight Sparkle my...my friend, she went down those stairs and she hasn’t come back up. I’m afraid something bad may have happened to her. I can’t lose another friend…” he says in a scared voice.
“Then why don’t you go down and check?” you ask.
“S-she told me that she had to do this alone, that it was her assignment. I can’t mess this up for her…” he says uncertainly.
“Well that’s dumb of her going down alone, where did this staircase even come from?”
“Twilight used Dark Magic on the throne and it just kind of opened up.”
Oh Great, that’s all I need, Twilight having even stronger magic to try and kill me with.
“Listen kid, if she used dark magic, then whatever’s down there has got to be dangerous, she really shouldn’t be alone.”
Spike looks up to you and gains a determined look on his face.
“You’re right! She means too much to me, I can’t let her be alone!” he shouts, before running down the stairs.
“Wait! I meant you should probably get a guard or something!” you yell as you chase after the determined dragon.
Oh Dear Luna, you better not get hurt Spike, otherwise Nightshade will never forgive me.
When you finally catch up to the dragon, you both see Twilight Sparkle standing in front of a door crying her eyes out.
“Twilight, Twilight!” Spike yells, but she doesn’t answer.
When you both get closer, you see that her eyes are an unnatural state of green.
“OK, this doesn’t look creepy at all,” you say sarcastically.
As Spike begins to shake her out of it, you look into the open doorway. You feel a strange sensation wash across your mind, and suddenly, there is only blackness.
"What is Going On?"
WHAT DO?
Looks like Bugze's gonna face his worst fear...uh oh
Hey Hive Mind, BrownDog here!
Looks like the majority of you thought that Spike at Your Service was the worst thing to come from season three, with Twilight's alicorn ascending being a close second.
DWC can't help with agree with you all about that, seeing as how it made Spike look like a good for nothing lost cause who can't do a chore for the life of him. Even through we all know he is probably that one person you would have pay to do your chores since he was so good at them. Spike being DWC's second favorite male character in the show makes this episode even worse.
Also, just saying for next chapter, there is still plenty of room for Fair Shenanigans despite us being at the door. After all, Space is Warped, and Time is Bendable, so no need to rush 
Now this chapter question is...
What is your favorite 2000's cartoon or show besides MLP?
There's been a lot of good cartoons and t.v shows produced in these last few years (Gravity Falls and Psych for example), but which one is your favorite?
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For the most entertainment total, it would be SpongeBob SquarePants. I watched SO much of that over the years when I was small.
But, as I can't remember much of those cartoons, I don't know what is my favourite ever.
Around that time, I think... Digimon. What can I say? I was a child in that time.
-----
Nightmare Fantasy
Bugzee opened the eyes and look around, it's then that he is terrified. He saw himself sit in a throne, but that was not all, he could see that the other Bugzee body was transformed, he was even worse that The Nightmare, around him was a mountain of corpses and tied to the throne was Fluttershy, looking sad and like if she did not eat for days.
He could not even say anything and could only watch around, the other Bugzee body was even changed... If he was thinking The Nightmare was ugly, he was even worst. Two strange snake tentacles coming out from his back that moved like if they were alive. In front of him tied to a post was what seemed to be the corpse of The Doctor and the TARDIS destroyed. It was just then that the flash of a teleport appeared and in front of him and from there appeared Nightshade but she seemed a little more grown up.
"Daddy, please... Go back to yourself, you don't need to do this. What happened to you?" Asked Nightshade
"Happened that I grown up, I stopped being puny little crybaby Bugzee, being hunted by everypony, if Ladyluck and the ponies are going to try to take me. It is time to do what it would have to do from the beginning a lot of time ago..." Say the other Bugzee
"But why you need to torture Miss Twilight and the others? Did you not have enough after what you did to Cadence and Celestia?" Asked Nightshade
"No... It's not enough... I will show those stupid ponies what I can do, they wanted to chase a monster, well... Let's them see a monster!" Shouted the other Bugzee
"But Daddy..." Say Nightshade
"Choose Nightshade... Celestia or me..." Say the other Bugzee
"I... I'm sorry Daddy but this is not you..." Answered Nightshade in a sad tone
"I see... Well, there is only one thing I can do..." Commented the other Bugzee
Just then the strange snake tentacles begin to move and one of them catch Nightshade, as the other was going directly to Nightshade but before something could happen, everything go black and Bugzee was another time in front of the door in the Crystal Empire
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I hope it's not too much... I based this nightmare mainly in the games of "The Darkness" if you really want to know what was the other Bugzee going to do, just play the games.
The Mane Six know that you act irrationally, as do other people. Try to act rationally (and actually make it convincing) if you get caught again.
Favorite cartoon of 2000s would probably be Ed, Edd, N' Eddy.
"What? where am I?" you said as you looked around the room it looked like the old castle where your adventure had started.
"So you are finally here" a voice said
That voice? you turned around to see a dark alicorn looking down at you. It didn't take long for you to realise who is standing before you.
"Selena it's you. Your alive and you have a body." you said with a smile
"Yes I have returned to the living world again and know I will finish what I had start all those years ago." Selena replied
"Selena what are you talking about?" you asked unsure what Selena is going on about.
"I will spread eternal night to Equestria once again." you watch as dark shadows loom over your and through the halls on the ruined castle.
"Selena don't do this your good. your my friend we have a daughter to look after." You tried explaining to her. Trying to see if you can get through to her.
"I was never good! you where never my friend you where just a host for me. A weak little bug that has no purpose in life. oh nightshade was never mement to be with you. She was born only for me. To rule Equestria by my side." She said as you watch as you saw a shadow figher that looks like nightshade walking next to Selena. here eyes glow white as she take a mini nightmare form of you.
"..no.." you said eyes wide. Tears going down your face.
"One last light the name isn't Selena it is NIGHTMARE MOON!" a bright flash and they both where gone leaving you alone in the castle. Then the doors flung open and came through the main 6 with them the Elements of harmony and they all looked at you grinning .
"There he is lets end this every pony." Twilight said
"I have been waiting a long time for this." Rainbow said
"This for all the trouble you caused use vermin." Applejake said
"For all the ruined parties and stolen cakes this personal." Pinkie pie said
"Fluttershy do you have a problem with us taking your ruffian friend down." Rarity asked
"oh no Rarity it don't mind he isn't my friend any more. He is just a worthless changeling" Flutter replied.
"Girls please don't." you begged trying to find some hope left.
Then they fired the Elements of harmony at you.
"SOMELING HELP ME!" you screamed as loud as you could.
For my favorite child hood cartoon would have to be 'Ed Edd 'n' Eddy'.
"Nightshade... don't leave me."
"Selena... why? I thought you were my..."
These are my two sentences for the next chapter. The Nightmare-arc traumatised him, but I believe his real biggest fear is Nightshade and Selena leaving him, the two who have been with him for most of his adventures, those who are his family.
After being shook out of the horrible visions, you converse with Twilight.
After calling her and Celestia out on how stupid it is for an entire Empire to be put on the line over a test, she decides not to let you come with her.
While she sits there trying to figure out the correct way to open the door, she suggests to you that you could help her friends up top distract ponies from the fact that the Crystal Heart is not the real one.
"So wait, you want me to go up there and cause multiple distractions that might result in property damage just so you can keep your little mistake a secret?"
"Is that a problem?" she asks.
"Nope, just checking, I'm sure I can handle it," you say with a smirk.
"Alright, well get going then," she tells you.
"Alright, but there is still one more thing I must do before I go..." you say mysteriously.
Several Minutes Later.
You lie on the staircase leading to the throne room, which went really far down, and watching as the slinky you snagged walks down.
You look back down to Twilight and Spike at the bottom.
"ISN'T THIS INCREDIBLE?! IT'S GOING TO BE SOME KIND OF A RECORD!"
"Is that really necessary?" Twilight shouts back up.
"Everyling Loves a Slinky, You gotta get a Slinky. Slinky, Slinky, Go Slinky Go!"
Later, while in the fair grounds causing distractions and avoiding Flash Sentry, you see the other girls and still feel uneasy.
Eventually, you end up in a tent with Pinkie Pie, and remembering the sacrifice the other her performed to save you, you break down and thank her and apologize to her. Somehow she knows exactly what happened to you, verbatim, and you and her come to an understanding which gives you the courage to face the others a bit better.
(WILL EXPAND ON THIS CONVERSATION)
Favorite Cartoon (Which I put Above MLP) is Gravity Falls. Great Mystery, Great Characters, Great Humor, and Lots of Stuff Getting Past the Censor Radar, I love this show.
Favorite show of the 2000s, I would have to say Kim Possible. It was a really well written show with interesting characters and fun villains.
Bugze: What is going on?
You look around to see yourself in that castle you found in the Everfree Forest. You can see the crumbling walls and cracks in the floor as you lookup to see two broken thrones.
Bugze: How did I get here? I could have sworn I was in the Crystal Empire a minuet ago?
The Sun (which had been shining through the large hole in the ceiling) started to get dark as you see the Moon block out the warm light.
Bugze: Why is there an eclipse? I thought that was scheduled for next month.
You turn your head when you hear the sound of metal hitting the stone floor by the throne as you see Selena in her full armor step out.
Bugze: Selena! You are OK! But how? I thought you were still in a coma.
Selena: Silence you worthless bug! I am not Selena. I am Nightmare Moon. Now that I have come to my full power, I no longer need a useless whelp like you. And now I will finish what I started over 1000 years ago. I shall cast Equestria in eternal night!
Bugze: But I thought we talked about this. I thought you had said that it was a foolish ideal that would do nothing but hurt your subjects in the end. You know since no sunlight would cause the plants to die and all the animals, including your ponies, along with it.
NM: It does not matter. I have the power to keep my subjects alive with the help of my daughter. Isn't that right Nightshade?
You see Nightshade, a bit older looking, walk out wearing a similar set of armor like her mother's and stand beside her. If what Selena had said right before this had not disturbed you so much you would have found this sight much more endearing.
Nightshade: That's right "Daddy" we do not need you anymore. Now that we are more powerful we will rule not only this country, but the whole world Muhahaha.
NM: Now begone! We have more important matters to attend to that do not involve you....ever again.
Bugze: But this is not right! Nightshade please comeback. This is not you. I know I raised you better than this. Please Stop this lunacy.
Nightshade: Nope. I will help Mommy take over this planet. Maybe once we are done we can keep you around as a jester since you are so silly and i find it funny when you fall down. But like Mommy said, it is time for you to go NOW!
Nightshade slams her hoof down as her eyes glow white. Before you can react, you get launched out of the hole in the ceiling by the rocks that suddenly sprang up from below you.
Before you hit the ground you hear
Spike: Ponyville? How did I get- no! I don't wanna go! Please Twilight, don't make me!
Bugze: What?
You look around again to see you are in the hole in the floor you climbed down with Spike to check on Twilight.
Bugze: *sigh* It was just a nightmare. and judging from the way Spike is reacting, I must have been effected by Sombra's dark magic.
You see a vision of... GRANDBUGGY AND GRANNY SMITH [Making out. Totally just kissing and so obviously not anything more... intimate that would require self-censoring]
It is later revealed that this comedic (but still traumatic) nightmare was a mental barrier you unconsciously put up to help buffer your true, more intense fears. Once you disengage this nightmare, the real terror starts...
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Remember guys;
You have Bugze (as the fancy-speaking El Hunko) at a faire. The comedic opportunities are ENDLESS.
Some shenanigans;
-Channel your brief experience during that one hive mission where you disguised yourself as a bouncer to help Applejack keep Crystal Ponies away from the "Crystal Heart"... and get fired from CH-guard duty when you use a whip and a chair to keep ponies back while screaming "BACK! BACK YOU SHINY SAVAGES, BACK!!!" (and accidentally trigger a few traumatic flashbacks to enslavement in some crystal ponies due to you using a whip). Coincidentally, your mission as an undercover bouncer also failed for that same reason...
-See Rainbow Dash jousting with Fluttershy. The timid pegasus looks so nervous and out of her league that you discreetly help her by using the "Telekinesis" function of your Power Glove to hold Rainbow Dash still so Fluttershy can (accidentally due to her having her eyes shut tight in fear as she charges forward) smash the fillyfooler in the face with her lance.
-Snatch more food to keep Nightshade busy and in the Inventory.
-Let Nightshade pet some ewes.
-Tell Nightshade that carnival games are all scams... and now you want to prevent her from going around and Falcon Kicking all the "Flim Flam clones"
as you exit your dark trance, you proceed to a spaz attack, and you start flailin, rolling around, and flailing AND rolling around in a comedic fashion whilst screaming until spike slaps you across the face. you then scream "WHAT!? IM ALIVE!? BUJEEZUS THAT WAS SCARY DUDE! oh, and never so that again"
favorite 2000's tv show? I havent watched that much tv ever since video games came out, but I got really hyped over ben 10. BECAUSE HEATBLAST IS AWESOME! LET THE BURNING PURIFY ALL THAT STANDS IN ITS WAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i like burning stuff.
After the last few horrible things you've seen in this black abyss, you're not sure how much more you can take. Each traumatic vision made you want to break down in tears. Thankfully you hear a familiar sound, and turn around to see the TARDIS materialize in the empty space of nothingness.
The Doctor steps out, only he doesn't look quite himself. He's quite disheveled, his tie is undone and his hair is a frazzled mess. He looks around, rubbing his neck and shoulder before noticing you.
You run up to him and grab his shoulders, practically yelling into his face. "Oh thank Luna! Doctor, you gotta get me out of here. I can't take any more of thi-"
He stops you, silencing you with a hoof to your mouth and contemplating his next words with a solemn look. "Bugzy, I'm afraid I've got some bad news from the future." he says slowly. "You're really not going to like this."
"What? Why?!" you ask "What do I do in the future? How bad is it? How many ponies die because of me?!"
The Doctor just shakes his head and looks you in the eyes. "It isn't you Bugzy, it's about Nightshade."
You feel your blood go cold. "Oh no. What happens Doc? Please don't tell me she dies! Anything but that!" you plead.
"Oh, she's alive. It's just she's-"
"She's what?! In a come? Turned to the dark side?" You scream as the endless possibilities flood you mind, none of them good.
"She hot." The doctor tells you.
"W-what?" you stutter.
"Oh yes, your little filly grows up to be quite a looker, and quite a lot of ponies have found themselves smitten with her." The doctor explains "Colts come knocking at her door to shower her with gifts and beg her for a date, and even some of the other mares step up to try their luck. Not that Nightshade minds however, quite the opposite; she actually enjoys all the attention and affection they give her."
"Nngh... I- what?" your brain tries to pull together a rational thought through all your fatherly protective instincts "She... and... Boys are... with my baby?! Does she at least still kick them in the nards!" you ask, grasping at one final straw.
"Well..." the Doctor averts his gaze from yours "She certainly does something with their nards."
At this your mind snaps. But rather than snapping in anger, it's shattering into a thousand anguished pieces. How could this have happened to your little Nightshade, and where did you go wrong as a parent? Was it because you let her watch all those adult anime?
There's only one thing you can scream as the darkness around you is ripped away.
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"Daddy what's wrong?" you hear Nightshade's sweet, innocent, still pre-pubescent voice as she pokes her head out of The Inventory.
You immediately pull her into a near-smothering hug. "Nightshade sweetie," you whisper as you start to break into tears "Never use harem anime as a realistic depiction, nor as a baseline of expectation for a healthy relationship."
"Um... okay." Nightshade agrees unsurely, but hugs you back anyway.
====
(During the crystal faire)
"So they need to keep the crystal ponies entertained huh?" you mutter to yourself as you think back to your time posing as a carnival preformer with your Grandbuggy. "I've got just the thing!" you proclaim and get to work commandeering a stage.
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"Come one, come all! Step right up to test your strength fillies and gentlecolts!" you announce as crystal ponies gather around to see what the latest attraction at the faire is all about.
"You sir!" you point to a random stallion in the crowd with your showmare's cane. He points at himself as though asking if it was indeed him you were talking about. "Yes you, step right up. You look like a well toned stallion. Rippling biceps, washboard abs, glistening thigh- NO! BAD BUG! I don't even swing that wa- I mean... how would you like to impress your friends with a feat of strength and fortitude?"
-In the distance, Rarity and Pinkie Pie take a look at what you're doing.-
"Did the book say anything about this being part of the celebration?" Rarity asked Pinkie as the pink mare bounced by.
"I dunno, but it looks like fun!" Pinkie says as she brings around more funnel cake.
--
The stallion nods his head vigorously as you're about to unveil the challenge.
"Well then I present to you... the most formidable, the most frightening, the most daunting challenge ever faced by ponykind!" you rev up your flair for the dramatic and whip the tarp off of the challenge. "The dreaded... UNOPENED PICKLE JAR!"
The crowd gasps, but not in the astonished sort of way, more of the gasping-in-horror sort of way. Memories resurface of their time under King Sombra's rule, and the color drains from their coats.
In the days of King Sombra, the dark lord would taunt them with the chance of freedom from his mines by presenting them a challenge; open a jar of pickles and be set free, but if they failed, they'd be sent back to the mines to work without rest. Even if they weren't exhausted and weak, they would still have had no chance, for the jar was enchanted to never be opened.
Brave ponies would try for hours sometimes to wrestle the cursed lid off the jar, even till their hooves bled from the effort. Seeing the instrument of their torture presented to them once more brought their fear back with it, and it all boiled down to what happened... right now.
"It's back! Run! Run from it's pristine, glassy shell of pickle-filled doom! Run for your lives before it takes you back to the mines!" one terrified crystal pony screamed at the top of his lungs, causing the rest of them to begin panicking.
"The horror! The horror!" shrieked a trio of vaguely familiar crystal flower ponies.
Meanwhile, a looming shadow outside the city watched in glee. "Yeeeeessssss..." it hissed "Picklessssssss."
Favorite 2000's cartoon you say? Well there's quite a lot of them, I'd respond. I remember growing up with things like Dexter's Lab, Ed Edd and Eddy, Samurai Jack, and Foster's home for imaginary friends, as well as Jimmy Neutron and Spongebob.
But I'd have to say that above all, Avatar the Last Airbender was, and still is my all time favorite. The characters, the story, the humor, the animation style, and so much more; all of it just meshed together so well for me back then, and even now as I rewatch the series for like the fourth time.
I'm not sure if edit the post and put Pinkie saying to Bugze that the other Bugzee is a meanie pants. It could be too much for Pinkie Physics?
Ed, edd, n eddy, in my opinion, it's better than the shat they replaced it with on Cartoon Network.
Whatever slime-waffle decided to take psycho-Cadence out of her own universe after having a confirmed afterlife is a three-scoop sadistic frogurt with cursed sprinkles made of sodium benzoate. I mean odds are good that means that her loved ones will never ever ever ever ever see her again.