Damn, I was hoping Celestia would be kept alive just so the world can see her lies.

7808526 Well... The sequel will shine light on Celestia's sins... That's all I'm gonna say!

7808534 What I was hoping was that she will live to see her perfect world fall apart.

lovely, but what style will the next take? i was hoping with the way you built it you would take chapters to explain and show how the dogs are becoming a community, not just an army to fight the tyrant, i hope you show it to be a growing story, not just a domination one, they end too quickly for my liking, like small skirmish against the ponies instead of just one massive battle in a single chapter, growing economics and the like, it would interest a few at the very least

7808543 Everything you have suggested has already been implemented into my plans.

7808540 Some evils don't deserve such pleasures. While it would be joyous to see her suffering, some beings just need to be eradicated from existence at once. After all, that why we have a death sentence.

7808557 Yeah, but death sentences usually take months, perhaps years. Celestia doesn't deserve a quick death.

7808551 yay! i know you had that kind of writing style, knew it from the first chapter, and FYI i love watching the slow progression of a nation, no endless needs for battles with me, no sir-re, anyway too cut my last comment short what i was basically saying is i was hoping you wound't make the next one a super power against a super power, i like battle of nations, not battle of OPs i look forward to the next, until then, adios!

I honestly think that was a bit rushed. I mean, we suddenly get told how incredibly corrupt Celestia is and then she gets directly bested in a fight. I would have found it better if there would have been more to it. Another point I would make is that even after this chapter I can't imagine him slaughtering guards. Maybe even especially after this chapter where he pretty much stated his 'good' intentions to free Equestria from tyranny. I mean, Celestia actually looked like a good guy in the last chapter while Malus looked like the bad guy. And now in this chapter happened just the opposite, with Malus looking like a good guy, while Celestia takes to role of the bad guy.

I'm not saying that the story is bad. I just want to point out that it could have been better. At least in my opinion.

My only question is. What will become of Mane 6? Especially Rainbow Dash who is still in a coma. Will she wake up from it?

Adds up far to well, kinda wished it didn't but seriously: anyone actually look at Equestria and think of what they see, it does NOT paint a pretty picture.

7808946 I admit it's rushed as was the original plan was being constantly changed. I guess messed up, but I hope to improve on the Sequel.

7809364 All in the Sequel my freind.
7809749 The truth is ugly indeed. At least in this Equestria.

7809804 ok

Awesome and epic story. I look forward to the sequel.

And I tip my hat to you comrade great ending can't wait for the new story

Judge Dread... never seen him referenced before on this site

7817741 Wait... are we talking about this guy or someone else?

7817761 the one and only

Merry Christmas

Before I read this, what is the Gore tag for ?

Loved the story, only thing that needs work is your spelling and wording at some parts but other than that it 10/10.

nice!

AWESOME just awesome you made this story so good everything was perfect good job.

7851027 that he is.

7851027
7851519
Thank you.

... all i can say... is noice

Well...that was a story, good read from beginning to end.

Ok, I'm a little confused.
Chapters 1-7
1) Meeting the merchant/transfer[average joe]
2) First contact[violent, self defense],
3) Malus is sharing headspace/being twisted by magic, freeing the Diamond dogs, BACKSTORY: BROKEN HOME
4) Cel gathers intel[badly, aggressors pleading victim], Diamond dog feast 1
5) Malus 'captured', verbal beat down of Celestia in town square.
6) Town square pt 2, 'Woop, Woop, it's just an illusion', forming the Draugr Empire, demon manticores, meeting the Diamond dog neighbors
7) Dinner with Alpha Rook, the trade agreements with Alpha Rook, Luna trapped in Malus's dream realm, [Malus is still a caring guy that no one fucks with]

8) dream, BACKSTORY(again?): NUCLEAR FIRE/GHOUL MAGE, [Asshole undead Malus] , corrupting the tree of harmony... Wat?
9) Build up, Final battle, 100 Diamond dogs vs 3000 ponies, then
10) details of Cel coming to power through manipulation, Malus vs Cel, [Malus becomes Asshole Lich.]

It's like you got stuck at the end of 7 and said, "Fuck it, I'm going to finish this in three chapters or less..." "Wow, I like 8, 9, and 10. Uummm... Look! A wild sequel has appeared!"

Really? If you're going to change the story that much, that suddenly, rewrite it; or at the very least read through and see if there are any glaring inconsistencies.... like a Double Backstory that negates 70 percent of the character and world building?

8951957
well, to be more accurate, it could be anywhere from 10 to 20 cents a bit.
i based my calculations off of a few scenes where ponies purchased various produce, and prices can vary, although from what I've seen farmers' market type places tend towards the low end of the price scale.

this is the sort of stuff i do when I'm bored: i compare the price of produce between a fictional kingdom and various regions of the US.

8945642
Oh I’m sorry but that comment was written BEFORE I watched season 8 still nice way to be rude and not let people keep their opinion and live and let live buddy.

9211225
Cause while your grammar was bad you made a plot and story that drags a person into it.

9211555
Thanks? Ya, I'll just take that compliment. Though my more later works fixes quite a bit of that. The only one exempt from this is this story, it's sequel, and Sentence Difference.

9211655
It was a compliment. Admittedly a bit backhanded but still you make a great story. Makes something that is easily resolved by getting a good editor or grammar/spellchecker system not a issue.

9211706
I wish I could say the same with this one.

9585704
Ah see I never read the description..... I read the small one but not the large one..... so you admit it is actually edgy and stupid? Cause it honesty is..... not that anything I have ever written isn’t too. But seriously man..... Heck i would love to see a version of this where Malus struggles to be GOOD rather than have him basically mind controlled into being evil.

9585707

And no, I'm not touching up or improving this garbage.

9585711
I wasn’t talking about taking THIS and making it better I was talking a new story..... but okay

9585718
Also, if you really like OP character in new world with all kinds of powers, I recommend one of my far better stories Ghost of Reach.

If you want a more world building story with lots of characters and lore, take a look at The Griffon Chronicle

9585726
Thanks friend personally I would like to see how you would handle a story about death from Darksiders or even a real grim reaper character